My Mother She Killed Me, My Father He Ate Me: Forty New Fairy Tales - читать бесплатно онлайн полную версию книги автора Kate Bernheimer (JOYCE CAROL OATES. Blue-bearded Lover) #32

JOYCE CAROL OATES. Blue-bearded Lover

WHEN WE WALKED TOGETHER HE HELD MY HAND UNNATURALLY HIGH, at the level of his chest, as no man had done before. In this way he made his claim.

When we stood at night beneath the great winking sky he instructed me gently in its deceit. The stars you see above you, he said, have vanished thousands of millions of years ago; it is precisely the stars you cannot see that exist, and exert their influence upon you.

When we lay together in the tall cold grasses the grasses curled lightly over us as if to hide us.

II.

A man’s passion is his triumph, I have learned. And to be the receptacle of a man’s passion is a woman’s triumph.

III.

He made me his bride and brought me to his great house which smelled of time and death. Passageways and doors and high-ceilinged rooms and tall windows opening out onto nothing. Have you ever loved another man as you now love me? my blue-bearded lover asked. Do you give your life to me?

What is a woman’s life that cannot be thrown away!

He told me of the doors I may unlock and the rooms I may enter freely. He told me of the seventh door, the forbidden door, which I may not unlock: for behind it lies a forbidden room which I may not enter. Why may I not enter it? I asked, for I saw that he expected it of me, and he said, kissing my brow, Because I have forbidden it.

And he entrusted me with the key to the door, for he was going away on a long journey.

IV.

Here it is: a small golden key, weighing no more than a feather in the palm of my hand.

It is faintly stained as if with blood. It glistens when I hold it to the light.

Did I not know that my lover’s previous brides had been brought to this house to die? — that they had failed him, one by one, and had deserved their fate?

I have slipped the golden key into my bosom, to wear against my heart, as a token of my lover’s trust in me.

When my blue-bearded lover returned from his long journey he was gratified to see that the door to the forbidden room remained locked; and when he examined the key, still warm from my bosom, he saw that the stain was an old, old stain, and not of my doing.

And he declared with great passion that I was now truly his wife; and that he loved me above all women.

VI.

Through the opened windows the invisible stars exert their power.

But if it is a power that is known, are the stars invisible?

When I sleep in our sumptuous bed I sleep deeply, and dream dreams that I cannot remember afterward, of extraordinary beauty, I think, and magic, and wonder. Sometimes in the morning my husband will recall them for me, for their marvels are such they invade even his dreams. How is it that you of all persons can dream such dreams, he says — such curious works of art!

And he kisses me, and seems to forgive me.

And I will be bearing his child soon. The first of his many children.

The legend of Bluebeard and his horrific castle is the oldest of cautionary fairy tales for women: here is the nobleman who marries young, beautiful girls, uses them up, and murders them to make way for the next young, beautiful, naive bride; to each bride he issues a warning — there is a room in his castle which she may not enter. But when Bluebeard leaves on a journey, entrusting her with a key, the overly curious young woman invariably unlocks the door, and discovers the corpses of her predecessors.

Because she has disobeyed her husband and master, the young woman is murdered by him.

In my variant of this fairy tale, the “young, beautiful, naive bride” is really not naive. She is calculating, canny. She will outwit Bluebeard by obeying his instructions — as he doesn’t expect her to — as if she were refuting the biblical Eve, who gave in to temptation. In this way, by totally succumbing to the rapacious male, the young woman “conquers” him — she is the first of his brides to become pregnant, and will bear his child in a lineage that is a compromise with the age-old rapacity of man.

There is no love here, no romance — only a kind of cold, cynical sexual manipulation.

But out of this manipulation comes the possibility of female survival — and the bearing of children.

I did not mean my young-woman figure to be exemplary. She is not a “sister” to her predecessors — she knows that if she aligns herself with them, Bluebeard will murder her as he’d murdered them. “Blue-bearded Lover” is a cautionary tale of its own, a tragic little fable, from which the reader should recoil with a shudder—“Thank God I am not like that. I would never compromise with evil!”

— JCO