New Ladies tickler

Letter I. Emily to Lucy

I think you would pity me if you could see the sad state to which I am reduced, and the shifts I am obliged to have recourse to, in order to appease the desires so natural to our age. How I long to be back again with you at school, that we might again enjoy our usual sweet intercourse together, and indulge in all those frolics and pastimes which, ever since our acquaintance commenced, have given me, and I am sure you also, so much delight.

Here, though I have returned to the scenes of my youth, everything seems new and strange. There is no one to whom I can talk confidentially, and confide all my little woes and wants. My aunt, though kind, is reserved with me, and Harry-the meeting with whom I anticipated would afford me so much delight — is not here, and I cannot find that there is any prospect of my even seeing him at present.

I do so wish we were again in our snug little apartment at Miss Birch's, for though the lessons were tedious and tiresome, and our worthy schoolmistress's castigation was sometimes more severe than was quite agreeable to our poor little bottoms, still even that was not all pain, and how well we used to make up for it when we were safely established for the night in our own little beds, and alternately crept from one to the other, in order to enjoy all those delicious pleasures which you first taught me and which we used to carry to the utmost extent that our heated imaginations could possibly invent, to ensure our luscious enjoyment.

But as I have no adventures here to write to you about at present, and very little prospect of any, I think I cannot do better than redeem my promise of giving you some details of our proceedings here before I joined you at school, and which gave rise to the anticipation I expressed to you of having something agreeable to communicate to you during my residence here, but which, alas, I am sorry to find, have not been realised.

You are aware that I have been brought up by my aunt, Lady Lovesport, with whom I lived, till, at the age of ten, I was sent to school. As you have seen Lady Lovesport and know well what an extremely handsome, fine-looking woman she is, I need not describe her to you, more especially as I shall have occasion afterwards to say something regarding her person. You are, however, perhaps not aware that she was married when very young to a rich old man, with whom she led but an unhappy life, though, by-the-bye, her husband somewhat made up for this by leaving her nearly all his fortune, coupled with the condition that she was not to marry again under the penalty of losing it. On his death she made up her mind not to throw away her wealth, nor subject her person to the control of another husband, and she has ever since remained in a state of single blessedness. As her income is large, she lives in very good style, and has every opportunity of indulging in any fancy she may take, and I have reason to believe that she does not hesitate to seek for amusement wherever she thinks she is likely to find it.

My earliest years passed very pleasantly. My aunt was always kind to me, and though I was kept strictly to my lessons, still, as long as I was attentive and diligent, every indulgence was shown to me. But if, on any occasion, I failed in doing what was required of me, my poor bottom was pretty sure to smart for it.

My aunt always undertook the duty of correcting me herself, and when punishment was to be inflicted I was taken to a small room adjoining her bedroom, where I was placed across her knees. My petticoats were taken up, and a birch rod applied smartly to my naked posteriors.

On these occasions I generally struggled a good deal. I soon fancied that, by tossing myself about and pretending to suffer more than I really did, my aunt's heart was softened, and consequently the stripes inflicted upon me were of a less severe nature than when I lay like a log on her knees, and showed no symptoms of feeling the pain. However this may be, it usually happened that between my struggles and her endeavours to retain me on her knee, her clothes would also be tossed up, and before the conclusion of my punishment her thighs were generally as bare as my own, and I lay with my naked belly and thighs pressed against her naked person. On these occasions I could not but admire the softness and beauty of the charms which were thus exposed to me, and to wonder at the profusion of beautiful curly hair, which adorned the secret spot often presented to my sight, so different from the bare unfledged gap which was beginning to attract my own curiosity.

Nor were my opportunities for viewing her lovely person confined to the exhibition thus made during my punishment. Lady Love-sport's residence is, you are aware, on the seacoast. Within a short distance of the house there is a retired bay, shut in by two projecting rocks on either side, so as not to be approached, except through our own grounds. Here a small bathing house had been erected, and we were accustomed to repair thither every day in fine weather. During the warm summer months we used often to wander there by ourselves, without any attendant. Generally we were in the habit of wearing bathing gowns, but it would sometimes happen that, after sporting and toying together for a while, Lady Lovesport would either get angry, or at least pretend to do so, at something or another I did, and would hastily tear a few twigs from the young birch trees which grew on the shore, and making me take off my bathing gown, she would apply the rod to my posteriors. But on these occasions this was always done sportively, and evidently without any intention of inflicting pain. Nay, she would even sometimes strip off her own wet attire, which interfered with her movements, and arming herself with one rod and allowing me to provide myself with another, we would chase each other in the water or up and down the soft sands, and when one succeeded in catching the other, there always followed a smart application of the soft green twigs to the buttocks and thighs of the fugitive.

After this sport had been repeated several times, I began to observe that my aunt always selected one spot for this amusement, exactly in front of a dense thicket which rather projected out from the rest of the shore; a boundary was fixed on each side, beyond which it was declared we were not to go, so that in chasing each other, we had always to pass close in front of this thicket. On one occasion I was a little startled by observing, as I thought, a slight movement in the thicket, as if someone were passing through the bushes, but my aunt laughed at me. She said it was only a rabbit hopping about, and at the same time applied her rod so vigorously to my posteriors that she soon gave me something else to think of. I was, however, induced after this to keep a watch upon the thicket, and occasionally I was convinced I saw a similar movement. Nay, once I was pretty certain that I caught a glimpse of a face, which seemed to me in the slight glance I had of it, to be very like that of a young gentleman who resided in the neighbourhood, whose family was very intimate with my aunt, and who himself was a frequent visitor at our house. But as I had no wish for a repetition of the severe discipline which my first observation had brought upon me, I said no more about it. It also struck me as somewhat singular that when we returned to the house after any of these frolicsome pastimes, we were quite certain either to find the young gentleman there, or have him arrive very soon after us.

But I think I have made this letter long enough, so adieu for the present.

Emily