News Where You Are

33

It bothered Mo that her grandmother rarely left her room and often seemed so sad. Mo was sure that the problem could be resolved with enough thought and application. She was always on the lookout for ways to improve the quality of Maureen’s life. She kept an eye out for new products and innovations, she scoured the adverts in the TV listings magazines they had at home and picked up leaflets on hints for the elderly whenever she saw them in the chemist.

Through a process of trial and error she had come to the conclusion that perhaps there wasn’t one single solution to the problem, but she remained optimistic that a combination of small measures would gradually alleviate her grandmother’s sadness. Her ultimate aim was for Maureen to be like the old people in the posters and brochures for Evergreen: admiring a rose bush in the garden with a man in a cravat, clapping her hands in delight at something on the Scrabble board, standing with open arms and an expression of joy as a young child approached. Smiling always.

Today Mo had been a long time in Maureen’s en suite bathroom. Frank had gone to get them some tea and cake and Maureen began to worry that there was a problem.

‘Mo, dear. Are you all right?’

‘Yes, thank you.’

‘You’ve been rather a long time, is everything okay?’

‘Yes. Everything is okay. Finished now.’

At that the door swung open, making Maureen jump. Mo stood looking pleased with herself.

‘I’ve just been doing some work in your bathroom.’

‘You’re not ill?’

‘Ill? No. I’m not ill.’

‘Oh … good.’

Maureen started to return to her seat. Mo went after her.

‘Granny, don’t you want to see it?’

‘See what, dear?’

‘The improvement. I have made an improvement in your bathroom.’

‘Ah — an improvement, I see.’ Maureen looked at Mo. ‘I don’t know where you get all these ideas for improvements.’

Mo answered with great satisfaction. ‘Research.’

Maureen nodded. ‘Research. Yes. I rather thought so. I hope you don’t spend too much time researching on my behalf.’

‘I like doing it.’

‘Well, it’s jolly nice of you, dear, but really there are no improvements to be made. This,’ she said, gesturing vaguely at the room around her, ‘is all perfectly … adequate. I barely notice the place anyway.’

Mo was undeterred and led Maureen back into the bathroom.

‘Can you spot it?’

Maureen looked around vaguely. ‘I’m afraid not.’

Mo laughed. ‘Actually, it’s a bit difficult to see. Look.’ She pointed at the toilet roll hanging on its holder.

Maureen peered at it. ‘Oh, it’s a different colour, is it? Ooh pink. Lovely! My favourite colour. Much better than whatever was there before. Well done, Mo — that’s a great improvement. I shall be much happier each time I visit the bathroom now.’

Mo frowned. ‘No. I didn’t change the toilet roll. Look more closely.’

Maureen obliged by lowering her head and examining all aspects of the toilet roll and its holder. After a few moments she let out an uncertain: ‘Ah … I think I see.’ Mo was nodding and smiling. ‘You’ve … erm … stuffed toilet paper inside the toilet roll. That’s the improvement, is it?’

‘Exactly. Do you want to know why?’

‘Yes — that might be an idea.’

‘I read it in this leaflet.’ Mo pulled a folded pamphlet out of her back pocket. On the front were the words ‘Tips and hints for the elderly’.

‘It’s full of very good ideas.’ Mo opened up the leaflet and pointed out different parts. ‘They are all very practical! Look — a whole section for people in wheelchairs: “Win appreciation from welcoming hostesses by drying your wheels with a tissue before entering their house. This will avoid unsightly tyre marks and ensure a subsequent invitation.” ’

Maureen’s eyebrows were raised. ‘Goodness. I’d imagine it would be quite difficult for someone to clean their own wheels.’

Mo wasn’t listening. ‘And look — this is the one I’ve done today: “A fast-spinning toilet roll can be disconcerting for the elderly or the one-handed. By padding out the inner tube of the toilet roll with toilet paper, the speed of rotation will be reduced.” ’

Maureen stared at Mo and then at the toilet roll. ‘Well, Mo. I’m quite lost for words.’

Mo beamed. ‘That’s okay. Here’s Dad.’

Frank was standing in the doorway to the bathroom. Maureen looked at him.

‘Mo has been making improvements.’

‘Yes. She did mention something about that in the car on the way here.’ He was relieved to detect a trace of amusement in his mother’s face. ‘Did you find yourself often disconcerted by the fast-spinning roll?’

Maureen looked very serious. ‘Goodness, yes. Mo really has put my mind quite at rest. Visits to the bathroom shall hold no fear now.’

Mo skipped out of the room in the direction of the residents’ lounge, eager to spread the word about this simple but effective measure. Maureen’s face changed as Mo left the room.

‘I wish you wouldn’t make the poor child feel she has to cheer me up.’

Frank laughed. ‘It has nothing to do with me. Mo does what she wants.’

Maureen ignored him. ‘I sense you behind all her efforts — trying to jolly me along. All bright and breezy, like on television.’

Frank found himself getting annoyed. ‘Why would I encourage her to try and cheer you up? Why promote such a futile waste of time and effort?’

‘Yes, a waste of time and effort, that’s what I am. I tell you that all the time, but still you come, every bloody week.’

‘Why are you being like this? Why can’t you just enjoy her company? Enjoy anyone’s company? Why is everything a source of suffering?’

‘Well, I’m sorry I’m not like the other grinning fools. Clapping their hands in gratitude at the dawning of each new glorious day. I’m sorry I see things differently. I must be a terrible disappointment to you.’

Frank stood looking at his mother, furious at her and himself, completely baffled as to how the situation had soured so rapidly.

‘You really are,’ he said, before picking up Mo’s coat and leaving.