News Where You Are

39

‘Mo, don’t sit so close to the television.’ Mo shuffled back without taking her eyes from the screen. Over the next few minutes she gradually edged closer again, sucked in by the glow. Andrea was trying to ignore the television and read her book, but it didn’t seem to be working. Every few minutes Frank would hear her sigh or tut at something she heard.

The husband on the screen smiled nervously. He was in his own living room, but it was difficult to relax because there was a TV crew there and a glamorous presenter interviewing him.

‘So, Neil, how long have you and Carol been married?’

‘Twenty-two years now.’

‘Wow. Twenty-two years. That’s great. Congratulations. That’s a real achievement.’

Neil nodded and smiled.

‘And is that a photo of your wedding day there? Can we have a look?’ Neil picked up the frame and handed it to Michelle, who held it for the camera to see. It showed a considerably slimmer Neil with a full head of hair, next to a laughing blonde woman.

‘What a beautiful couple. Is that really Carol? It’s hard to believe.’

Neil laughed. ‘Well, we’ve both changed quite a bit. I don’t think I’d fit into those trousers again!’

Michelle laughed too. ‘Oh, I know what you mean. But Carol is unrecognizable.’ Michelle looked earnestly at Neil now as if about to deliver some important news. ‘Carol is a beautiful woman.’

Neil was abashed. ‘I know —’

Michelle cut him off. ‘You just wouldn’t know that to look at her now, would you, Neil? I mean she just hides that beauty, doesn’t she? Shuffling around in those great big jumpers of hers.’

‘Well, I guess a wedding dress isn’t that practical for day-to-day life.’

Michelle didn’t laugh. ‘Course not, Neil, but I mean we can still take care of ourselves, can’t we? Have some pride in our appearance. You work in business, don’t you, Neil?’

Neil was wrong-footed. ‘Erm … that’s right, I’m a sales manager for a leading manufacturer of doors.’

‘Right, well, I know about working in sales, and I know there’s a lot of schmoozing with clients, wining and dining. You and Carol must be out a lot. Are you proud of the way she looks when you go out on these nights? In front of these clients? Do you think she’s presenting a good image?’

‘I think she always looks very nice.’

‘Very nice, Neil? In that sequinned kaftan I found in her wardrobe? Come on. You must be embarrassed.’

‘To be honest, I don’t really notice what she wears. I’m not that into fashion.’

‘Well, that’s one thing you have in common, my love. But I mean come on, Neil. What about on a more intimate level? Don’t you ever look at Carol and wonder where the woman you married went? When she’s standing there in the bedroom in those big grey pants, can you honestly say you feel in the least bit romantic?’

Neil was visibly uncomfortable now. ‘The way she looks just isn’t that important to me. I love her.’

‘I don’t think you see her at all, Neil. I think you look straight through her. She’s become invisible to you. No longer a woman. I think you take her for granted. Well, she is a woman, Neil! And you need to value her more!’ Neil was at a loss for words. ‘Don’t you wish she loved herself more? Don’t you wish she had a higher opinion of herself?’

‘I know she has very low self-esteem. She’s put on weight since we married and it doesn’t bother me at all, but I know she gets quite depressed about it. She can’t fit into the kinds of clothes she used to wear and that makes her feel bad. When I first met her, I thought she was a stunner, I still do, but she thinks that when people look at her all they see is an overweight, unattractive woman. I tell her she should be more confident. I tell her that I love her and that’s she’s beautiful. Of course I wish that she had more pride in herself. I want her to have a high opinion of herself.’

‘And do you see, Neil, that that high opinion, that good self-image starts with the outside? How can she feel good about herself when she’s wearing a sack? We need to throw the sacks in the bin — yeah? Throw them in the bin! Do you see that?’

He nodded uncertainly.

‘So what do we say about the big baggy jumpers?’

It took a moment for Neil to work it out. ‘Throw them in the bin?’

‘And what else?’

Neil tried to remember. ‘Erm … the sequinned kaftan and the grey pants — throw them in the bin!’

The scene now changed to a white studio. Michelle sat next to Carol on the couch.

‘Now, Carol, Neil had something he wanted to tell you, but finds it difficult to say to your face.’

Carol frowned as Michelle pressed a remote control and they watched Neil saying: ‘When I first met her I thought she was a stunner.’ Carol rolled her eyes. Neil’s face filled the screen. ‘She’s put on weight over the years.’ Carol tried to smile, but couldn’t quite manage it. ‘She can’t fit into the kinds of clothes she used to wear.’ Now on screen was some footage of Carol in the supermarket wheeling a trolley along an aisle with Neil’s voice-over: ‘People look at her and all they see is an overweight, unattractive woman.’ The camera cut back to Carol, tears rolling down her face as she watched her husband say: ‘Of course I wish that she had more pride in herself.’

Michelle put her arm round Carol. ‘It’s okay, love. It’s hard for men to say what they mean sometimes. They don’t like to hurt our feelings. When sometimes what we really need is Tough Love.’

The screen filled with the Tough Love logo and cut to adverts.

Frank turned to Andrea. ‘Bloody hell.’

Andrea looked up from her book. ‘I told you.’

‘It’s quite harsh, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, I think they’ve imported tactics from Mao’s cultural revolution. She’s still in the midst of her re-education. She’ll be a model citizen by the end of it.’

‘Michelle’s quite scary on it, isn’t she?’

‘Yeah, now maybe you’ll appreciate why I didn’t fancy meeting her last week. She’s turned into the devil.’ Andrea looked anxiously to check Mo wasn’t listening, but saw that she was still glued to the television. ‘We should never have let Mo watch this. All she’s learning is how to hate herself. It’s horrible.’

Frank looked at Mo. ‘Maybe I could get Michelle to talk to her. Tell her it’s just a role. Tell her it’s all nonsense.’

Andrea looked unconvinced. ‘Well, good luck with that. I’m not sure Michelle sees it that way.’ They were silent for a few moments, both watching Mo, until Frank spoke again.

‘I keep thinking about what she said about Phil.’

‘Who?’

‘Michelle.’

‘What? The moodiness?’

‘It was more than moodiness. It just all sounded really strange. There was the money missing from the bank account, Michelle told me there was a cash withdrawal of £20,000. And the mysterious hit and run …’

‘It wasn’t particularly mysterious, was it? It was a hit and run — the driver doesn’t stick around and offer an explanation or apology.’

Frank ignored the interruption. ‘… and the note from Michael Church.’

‘What’s the note got to do with anything?’

‘Well, it was strange, wasn’t it. What was he saying Phil was wrong about?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe a disagreement about an episode of Terry and June. It might seem strange, but we don’t know the context — it was probably something completely banal.’

‘Maybe, but it’s a bit odd, and turning up when it did … It says, “I won’t be there next week.” They must have arranged to meet around the time of Phil’s death.’

Andrea tried to keep a straight face. ‘Hmm. Very mysterious.’

Frank looked at her. ‘Are you laughing at me?’

Andrea was by now laughing. ‘Wow, Frank, are we Hart to Hart? Let’s get our safari suits and go and track down some clues!’

Frank laughed, but was silenced by Mo clearing her throat loudly and saying: ‘It’s quite hard to hear the television.’

‘Sorry, Mo.’

Frank was silent for a while before turning to Andrea and speaking quietly. ‘Maybe you’re right.’

‘About what?’

‘You told me when I started looking into Michael Church’s life not to go weird. Do I sound like a nutter?’

‘It just all sounds a bit conspiracy theory. I’m worried you’re going to start getting interested in UFOs.’

‘Or writing in to local television.’

‘Watching local television even.’

Frank threw a cushion at Andrea. They sat and watched the end of Tough Love with Mo. Michelle delivered a piece to camera.

‘Sometimes we have to be honest. It’s hard but it’s worth it. We look at the person beside us and we can see that they’ve lost their way, they’ve let themselves go. We say nothing. Like Neil we use love as an excuse. But love alone isn’t enough. Is it, sweetheart?’ The camera pulled out to reveal Carol standing next to Michelle shaking her head.

Michelle smiled. ‘What is it we really need, Carol?’

‘Tough love.’

They both laughed and the end title sequence began.