Occasion of Revenge

3

She arrived late. Fashionably late. Claudia Schiffer on a Versace runway couldn’t have done it with more style. From the moment she glided over the threshold of my father’s house and into the entrance hall, Darlene was in control, keenly aware that all eyes were on her. A cold front had moved across Maryland overnight, and against the unseasonably chilly weather she wore a red wool cloak, which she unbuttoned and swirled off her shoulders like a matador, launching it in my general direction. Perversely, I just missed catching it.

“Here, allow me.” Emily bent to retrieve the cloak, knocking heads with Darlene in the process.

“Ouch!” Vigorously rubbing her head, Darlene straightened to her full five foot two plus at least three inches of trendy stacked heels. Above them, she wore sleek black capri pants and a sweater the color of bubblegum. I had read that capri pants were back in style, but I couldn’t help thinking that she looked like a refugee from the old Dick Van Dyke Show.

“I’m so sorry!” Emily’s face wore a look of genuine concern. “Are you all right?”

Darlene handed my daughter the cloak. “I guess I’ll live.” She looked over Emily’s shoulder, one pale eyebrow raised. “Where’s your grandfather?”

“In the kitchen.”

“This way?” she asked, taking a tentative step down the hall. When Emily pointed, she sailed off in that direction, the neck of a paper-bag-encased wine bottle clutched in her hand. “Georgie!”

I glanced at Emily, who had covered her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing. “Georgie?” I mouthed. For a weird moment I thought Darlene was calling for Georgina.

Emily waggled her index finger. “Pink is definitely her color.” She scooped up Chloe, who had been sitting on the carpet experimenting with her shoelaces, trying to determine if they were edible, and we followed our guest, arriving in time to observe Darlene plant a wet kiss squarely on Daddy’s mouth. My stomach lurched.

Fortunately, Ruth’s back was turned. A storm cloud still hovered over her, and I didn’t think she’d be in the mood to watch the opening round of the Nookie Olympics, Senior Division. Ruth stood at the stove tending a pot of steaming water. On the counter next to it were two one-pound boxes of pasta. “This is for you.” Darlene thrust the wine in Ruth’s direction.

Ruth turned. A strand of silver hair had escaped from her leather headband to dangle in a corkscrew over her forehead. She swiped at it with the back of a hand which held a large wooden spoon. “Uh, thanks,” she mumbled. “Red or white?”

“Georgie said we were having spaghetti. So red.”

“Just put it on the counter, OK?”

Daddy reached over, took the bag from Darlene’s hand, slipped the bottle out, and stared at it as if committing every word printed on the label to memory. “Turning Leaf,” he said. “A fine, fine wine.” He kissed Darlene’s cheek. “Thank you.”

Ruth rolled her eyes ceilingward, turned back to the stove, and began punishing the sauce.

Darlene inhaled deeply. “Ah! Homemade spaghetti sauce!” She stepped toward the stove, until Ruth stopped her with a look that would have turned Mother Teresa to stone. Homemade? I had seen four empty jars of Prego in the kitchen trash can, but I’d never tell.

“Thank you.” Ruth managed a smile, but I hoped none of the saccharine in her voice would drip into the spaghetti.

“Here,” I said, taking the wine from my father. “Let’s open it and let it breathe.”

While I coaxed a stubborn cork out of the bottle, Ruth bent over, turned the heat down under the sauce, then wiped her hands on a towel which had been tucked into the waistband of her slacks. “May I fix you a drink, Darlene? Peppermint schnapps?” I’d seen more convincing smiles on guests of honor at funeral homes.

Darlene had been standing next to my father, gazing up at him as if he were the learned professor and she were an infatuated student. “Hmmm?”

“A drink. Schnapps?”

“No, thanks.” She wandered toward the refrigerator, her hand running along the countertop as if checking it for dust. “That’s only for special occasions.”

So what is this? I wanted to yell. A tax audit?

Ruth recoiled as if she had been slapped. In a just world she would have upended the pot of sauce over Darlene’s head.

I set the wine on the counter and stepped between the stove and the fridge, effectively blocking Darlene’s view of my older sister who was coming to a boil almost as quickly as the pasta. “Would you like to see the house, Darlene?” I gave my father a straight-mouthed look. “Daddy, why don’t you show Darlene the house.”

But before anybody could move, the doorbell rang. Daddy turned his head, whether in response to the doorbell or to my question it was impossible to tell.

“I’ll get it!” Emily leapt at the opportunity to get out of Dodge. She breezed down the narrow hallway, her skirt a bright patchwork quilt floating a few inches above her Birkenstocks. When she opened the door, Sean, Dylan, and Julie tumbled in, red-cheeked, followed by a blast of cold air, my sister, and her husband. Sean and Dylan made a beeline for the pool table in the basement, passing me with a perfunctory “Hi, Aunt Hannah!” before disappearing down the stairs. Julie remained in the hallway where she patiently peeled off her jacket, one sleeve at a time, and handed it to Emily.

His hand cupping her elbow, Daddy and Darlene passed by, headed toward the living room.

“Who are you?” asked Julie, who stood blocking the doorway, a bedraggled Abigail rabbit clutched under one arm.

Darlene stooped to Julie’s eye level. “My name is Darlene,” she cooed. “And isn’t that a lovely teddy!”

Julie twisted her body sideways until Abby was safely out of the stranger’s reach. “Abby is a rabbit!”

“So she is.” Darlene reached out to pat Julie’s copper curls but missed as Julie turned and darted away, leaving our guest squatting unsteadily next to Mother’s Oriental umbrella stand. Figuring Daddy would sort it out, I threw an arm around Georgina and kissed the air next to Scott’s cheek. “So glad you could come,” I whispered as I relieved Georgina of a double-stacked pie carrier. I jerked my head toward the living room door through which Darlene had just disappeared. “Ruth’s already in a snit. This could get ugly.”

Emily had been hanging up coats, but she turned on me then. “Honestly, Mother. Give Granddaddy a break. Darlene’s not so bad.”

“How do you know?” Scott asked as he helped Georgina remove her coat and hat.

“Well, I don’t, really, but at least Gramps isn’t mooning around the house all day.”

Georgina combed her long, copper-colored hair with her fingers. “Hat hair,” she said. “I hate it.” Then she turned to Emily. “That’s one point in Darlene’s favor, then. Keeping Daddy occupied.”

Scott laughed. “Well, I for one am looking forward to seeing more of this paragon of virtue.”

Thinking about the low-cut sweater Darlene had chosen for the evening, I said, “Then you won’t have long to wait. The paragon has taken Daddy and her ample bosom into the living room.”

“What’s a pair of gones?” piped up Julie who had appeared, unaccountably, on the other side of the accordion gate that kept Chloe from crawling upstairs.

“Paragon,” corrected Emily. “It means super-special, like Abby.”

“Can Chloe play?” Julie asked.

Emily gave her cousin’s ponytail a playful tug. “Sure, squirt. Let’s take the baby and go down and see what the boys are up to.”

Thank God for Emily! While the grown-ups spent the cocktail hour do-si-do-ing about the kitchen and living room, she kept the children occupied downstairs with popcorn and Coca-Cola, watching, from the periodic roar wafting up from the family room and from Julie’s delighted squeal-“Ooooh! Flying cows!”-the Twister video. I thought Twister was a bit intense for little kids-it had scared me spitless-but they’d seen it seven or eight times already so it was probably a little late for me to object.

Meanwhile, Darlene and Daddy had migrated to the kitchen. Spreading a cracker with brie, she extended it toward my father, who was noisily lobbing ice cubes into a shaker. “Now, George, you’ve already had one martini!”

Was she some sort of fool? Everybody knew that the drink he was fixing had to be his third or fourth, at least.

Daddy added a splash of vermouth to the vodka already in the shaker and shook the nasty mixture vigorously. He took the cracker from Darlene’s fingers and popped it into his mouth whole. “Just cleansing my palate.” He poured his drink, sipped it experimentally, then turned to Ruth. “When’s dinner?”

Ruth scowled over her shoulder. Some of the water from the pasta pot she was emptying into a colander in the sink slopped over onto the counter. “Five-minute warning. Tell everybody to wash their hands and come to the table.”

After the rocky start, I was determined that the dinner would proceed pleasantly. Sitting on my father’s left, I told Darlene about the St. John’s College library where I was cataloging the collection of L.K. Bromley, the famous American mystery writer. I brought everyone up to date on my volunteer work for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. Somewhere in the middle of asking Scott a question about the big account he had just landed, I noticed Darlene was shoving her spaghetti around on her plate, turning it over with her fork as if she were hoeing a garden. A tidy pile of mushroom bits grew to one side of her plate.

Ruth noticed it, too. “Something wrong with your spaghetti, Darlene?”

Darlene glanced up at Ruth. “I’m allergic to mushrooms.”

“Oh?” By the grim set of her jaw, I could tell Ruth didn’t believe that for one minute.

Daddy laid down his fork and patted Darlene’s hand. “Ruth will fix you something else, won’t you, Ruth?”

Without saying a word, Ruth stood, shoved back her chair, walked around the table, and snatched Darlene’s plate. I hurriedly excused myself to see if I could help. By the time I got to the kitchen, Ruth had tipped Darlene’s dinner into the garbage disposal and flipped up the switch so violently I thought it would fall off the wall. Over the grinding she snarled, “What the hell does he think I am? A short-order cook?”

Even though Daddy had been a bit over the line, I found myself coming to his defense. “She is his guest, Ruth. He just wants to make her happy.”

“Well, next time he can make her happy at the Maryland Inn or Cantler’s.” She sluiced the remaining sauce off Darlene’s plate, then mounded it high with fresh pasta. “Get the butter out of the fridge for me, will you?”

I handed Ruth the Land-o’-Lakes and said, “Look, Ruth. I don’t like Darlene much, either, but what can we do? Daddy’s a grown-up, and he’s clearly smitten. I keep thinking, what would I do if Daddy didn’t like Paul?”

Ruth stared at me thoughtfully, a carving knife in her hand.

“I’d want him to give Paul a chance. At least try to get to know him better. Wouldn’t you?”

Ruth used the knife like a machete to hack off a chunk of butter, then she dropped the butter on top of the pasta and sprinkled it with chopped parsley, ground pepper, and a generous portion of grated cheese. “I guess so.” She passed the plate under my nose for inspection. “Voilà!”

The aroma of freshly grated parmesan teased my nostrils. “Yum.”

“She can like it or lump it,” Ruth shot over her shoulder on the way back to the dining room.

I picked up the tall wooden pepper grinder and followed my obstinate sister. By the time I breezed through the door, Darlene had her new dinner and Daddy was fussing over her like a nanny. “There. Is that better?”

“It’s fine, Georgie.” The smile she gave Ruth reminded me of the car salesman in Glen Burnie from whom I bought my used Le Baron.

“Ah, good.” He nodded.

“Tell me, Darlene,” Ruth asked just as Darlene had raised a full fork of spaghetti to her lips. “Where did you and Daddy meet?”

Darlene lowered her fork and smiled. “We met at McGarvey’s. My son, Darryl, works there.”

“Oh? Doing what?” Ruth leaned forward, her hands neatly folded on the tablecloth in front of her.

“He’s a waiter.”

I thought about all the times I’d eaten at McGarvey’s Saloon and tried to match my recollections of the wait staff there with the face of the woman sitting directly across from me. I couldn’t do it. I closed my eyes. If Daddy’s romance stayed on course, one of those waiters might soon be my stepbrother.

I killed some time helping Sean grate parmesan on his pasta while I thought about it. So, Darlene had a son. Yet she wore no wedding band, just an ornate turquoise-and-silver ring on the pinky of her right hand and a plain, gold school ring of some kind on the other. Paul must have been wondering the same thing. “What happened to Darryl’s father?” he asked gently.

Darlene lowered her eyes. “I’m a widow.”

Daddy had been nodding at his place, his head hanging so low it was in danger of crashing into his plate. Suddenly, he perked up. “Darlene has two children. Deirdre is twenty-eight, three years older than Darryl.”

Darlene speared a cucumber with her fork. “My first husband died when Deirdre was eleven.”

Georgina touched her arm. “I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago.”

Opposite Daddy at the head of the table, Ruth sat glowering like a malevolent Buddha, her eyes like slits. I glared back at her, willing her to keep her mouth clamped shut before something rude tumbled out. So, the glamorous Darlene had been married at least twice. But, as much as I wanted details about Darlene’s background, for the sake of family harmony I swallowed my questions, even though I was in danger of getting an ulcer from all the nervous acid and tomato sauce churning around in my stomach.

Thankfully, Emily changed the subject, telling us all about New Life Spa in Virginia where Dante had already begun work. “It’s so la-de-dah,” she spoke directly to Darlene, “that you need to make an appointment years ahead of time.”

“Like Greenbrier?”

“You’ve been to Greenbrier?”

“Once,” Darlene said. “In another life.”

Emily studied Darlene curiously, as if waiting for her to elaborate, but when the seconds lengthened and there was nothing more, she said, “It’s sort of like Greenbrier, but way up in the Blue Ridge near Front Royal.”

“Does the spa provide housing?” Scott wanted to know. Typical. He’s an accountant.

Emily shook her head. “I wish! No, we’ve been house-hunting. Fortunately, New Life pays well enough that we’ll actually be able to afford a small house, if we stay outside the Washington metropolitan area.”

Darlene twirled her fork idly in Ruth’s impromptu culinary masterpiece. Apparently she didn’t like the pasta parmesan, either, because there was a mound of it still on her plate. “Are you going to work?” She smiled at Emily. “Outside the home, I mean.”

Emily grinned fondly at Chloe who perched next to her in a high chair, calmly squeezing warm French bread between her fingers, making sure it was thoroughly dead before licking what was left of it off her knuckles. “No. Dante and I plan to homeschool our children.”

This was news to me, but clearly not to Paul, who smiled benignly at his daughter across the table. Or perhaps he had retreated from the battlefield and was mentally far, far away, working on some theorem. Either way, we would discuss this homeschooling nonsense later.

“I sent Darryl and Deirdre to Catholic schools,” Darlene said. “It was all I could afford.”

I had decided that the conversation was going nowhere and had shanghaied Georgina to help me clear the table when Daddy gazed at Darlene, his eyelids at half mast. “Poor Darlene. She’s lost three husbands.”

I nearly dropped the dirty dishes I had been balancing, plate upon plate.

“It’s still hard to talk about.” Darlene bowed her head. Emily skillfully steered the conversation back to the more happy topic of Darlene’s children. Between trips to the kitchen I learned that Deirdre was a graduate student in biology at the University of Maryland and lived in a condo in Bowie.

After a few moments, Ruth joined us at the kitchen sink. “She’s lost three husbands? How careless of her!”

Georgina arranged a row of salad bowls on the top rack of the dishwasher. “Well, it’s not exactly her fault, is it?”

“How do we know?”

“Ruth!” My sister had been watching too many reruns of Murder, She Wrote.

“I’d give my eyeteeth to know what happened to them.”

“Why don’t you just ask?”

Ruth gave me an Oh, Sure look. “She’s after his money. I just know it.”

“You don’t know anything of the kind,” I said. “Did you see the car she’s driving?”

Ruth shook her head.

“A Porsche.”

Georgina, who didn’t have a car of her own, whistled. “They don’t come in Cracker Jack boxes, do they?”

“No, ma’am.” I tapped Ruth’s cheek lightly. “She could have inherited tons of money from her former husbands, sweetie. Maybe she really loves Daddy.”

If we had been taping a TV ad, Ruth’s explosive Ha! would have shattered the wineglass she held. “You realize, don’t you, my dears,” she drawled, “that if Daddy marries That Person and he dies, she’ll get everything. Grandmother’s furniture. Mother’s jewelry. This house. His car. Everything.”

Georgina leaned against the kitchen table. “Don’t be silly, Ruth. There’d be a will!”

I had to agree with Georgina. Daddy loved his family to distraction. He would never enter into a marriage without taking us, and his grandchildren, into consideration. “There’d be a prenup,” I stated with confidence.

Ruth wasn’t swayed. “Once he gets into the clutches of that hussy, absolutely nothing would surprise me.”

“Don’t you think you’re being just a wee bit premature?” Georgina chided. “They’ve only just met and you already have them walking down the aisle.”

“Georgina, dear, did you look at her?”

Georgina nodded.

Ruth upended her wineglass into the dishwasher. “I rest my case.”

But during dessert-Georgina’s homemade deep-dish apple pie, warm from the oven, over which Darlene gushed her approval-Ruth melted a bit around the edges, like a scoop of ice cream à la mode, softening enough to ask Darlene where she had bought her sweater and making it sound as if she really cared.

Unfortunately, Darlene seemed preprogrammed to blow it. “You know, George,” she said as we rose to leave the table, “if you put up a chair rail, you wouldn’t have all those scuff marks on the wallpaper.” She touched the paper, a beige silk floral that Mom and Dad had selected and hung themselves only weeks before Mother had been rushed to the hospital. Darlene leaned toward my father and said, sotto voce, but just loud enough for Ruth and me to hear, “If I ever move in, this ugly wallpaper will have to go.”

Beside me, Ruth stiffened dangerously. I yanked her through the door into the kitchen just in the nick of time. Whether Ruth dropped or threw the dessert plate, I’ll never know, but it hit the baseboard near the dishwasher, splashing melted ice cream all over my mother’s hand-braided rug. “How dare she!” she raged. “That’s it! I’m out of here! It’s high time I found a place of my own.” Her face was an alarming shade of red. “I’ve been nothing more than an unpaid servant ever since Mother died.”

“Ruth…”

She shook off my restraining hand and took a step toward the back door. “Forget it, Hannah.” I could tell Ruth was itching to pack her bags and get out of there. Right away. This minute. Slam the door and leave us all standing there, gaping, with dirty dishes piled sky high in the sink.

I folded Ruth into my arms. It was like hugging a marble column. “Cool it, Ruth,” I whispered against her ear. “If you run out on him now, it’ll leave the house wide open for Darlene to move right in.”

Ruth began to tremble. “I’m going to kill her,” she muttered.

I increased pressure on my sister’s back, squeezing hard until the trembling stopped. “OK now?”

Ruth nodded.

“Ready to go back in there?” I pointed toward the dining room.

“Maybe.”

With my hand against the small of her back, I urged Ruth into the dining room. Except for the dirty dishes, the room was now empty. We followed Daddy’s deep baritone into the living room where we found him seated next to Darlene on the sofa. Georgina sat in Mother’s chair, thank goodness; if Darlene had taken it, Ruth would surely have gone ballistic. I perched on the arm of the love seat next to Paul while Ruth chose to stand, lounging against the doorframe.

We had interrupted something.

Daddy looked at me. “Hannah, I’ve decided to move in with Darlene.”

No wonder everyone was sitting there stiff as statues. “But…” Ruth began.

Darlene raised a hand. “He’s not going to stay, girls. We’ve talked it over. He’s just here to pick up his shaving gear.”

“Daddy?” Ruth was blinking rapidly, close to tears.

“It’s all settled.” Darlene reached over and took my father’s hand, drawing it into her lap. No one spoke for several moments. The clock on the mantel ticked as loudly as the telltale heart.

Ruth turned on our father. “Can’t you talk? Does she talk for you now?”

Daddy sank back into the cushions. He looked like a scolded puppy-sad, confused, and a little frightened. “I have to live my own life.”

“I don’t believe this! After all I’ve-” Ruth’s mouth snapped shut.

“Ruth, I love you. And I appreciate everything you’ve done, I really do. But it’s time for me to do what I want for a change.”

“But you’re not even married!” Georgina protested. “It’s not right!”

Darlene gazed serenely at our father. “I think somebody over seventy can live where and with whomever he wants.”

“Georgina’s right,” Ruth said. “It’s a sin, Daddy. Go ahead and ask her. Ask Darlene. What’s her precious pope going to say?”

I stared in wonder. Since when did Ruth, our New Age flower child, care about religion? I was getting dizzy from the verbal Ping-Pong.

Darlene’s head snapped around, taking in each one of us in turn. “You don’t like me. None of you does.” Her voice broke. “You’re all against me.”

Daddy wrapped a solicitous arm around his suffering girlfriend.

“To be real honest,” Georgina commented, “we don’t know very much about you.”

“So, why are you treating me like… like dirt?”

“Don’t be silly,” Georgina soothed. “We’ve only seen you once before. How can you possibly say that?”

“I sense the coldness. What is it?” She looked directly at Ruth. “Do you think I’m a gold digger or something?”

“You said it, I didn’t.”

Darlene, her cheeks as pink as her sweater, sprang to her feet and advanced toward my sister. “Ruth, I’ve tried so hard to be patient with you, to make allowances for how you must feel about this house and about your mother, but…”

“But what, Darlene?”

“Well, I hate to say it, but you’re acting like a selfish brat!”

Ruth stepped aside deftly, turning to Daddy who was bent over, staring at his shoes. “Are you just going to sit there and let her talk to me like that?”

Daddy didn’t answer.

Darlene grasped the back of a chair, the ring on her finger strangling the plump flesh, her knuckles white. Anger simmered in the dry green eyes that were directed at Ruth. “You know what your problem is?” Her voice dripped venom.

Ruth interrupted before Darlene could finish. “I think I’m looking at it.” Ruth traded gaze for steady gaze.

Darlene sucked both thin red lips into her mouth.

Ruth, almost regal in her rage, faced our father in triumph. When Daddy looked away, she turned on Darlene. “Bitch!” And she spun on her toe and sailed out of the room.

No one spoke. In the deafening silence I could hear above the pounding of my own heart Daddy’s labored breathing. I felt as if the world had slipped, violently and dangerously like tectonic plates in the San Andreas fault. Only a few seconds had passed, yet it seemed that a gap had opened in the living room floor; a wide gulf now separated us from our father. I might reach out across the yawning crevice but Daddy, now standing stiffly next to Darlene, was slipping farther and farther away.

After this unfortunate evening I hoped Daddy would see what a terrible person Darlene was, that he’d escort her down the drive to her car and we’d never see her again.

Wrong. Wrong. And wrong again.