One Summer

7

The next morning Bonnie took charge. She came to see Jack with Fred in tow. “This won’t be easy, Jack,” she cautioned, “but we really don’t have much time.” She squared her shoulders and seemed to attempt a sympathetic look. “The children of course come first. I’ve talked to Becky and also to Frances several times.”

Frances and Becky were Lizzie’s older sisters, who lived on the West Coast. The only brother, Fred Jr., was on active military duty, stationed in Korea. He had not been able to make it to the funeral.

“Becky can take Jack Jr., and Frances has agreed to take Cory. That just leaves Michelle.” Bonnie had never called her Mikki.

“Just Michelle?” said Jack.

Bonnie looked momentarily taken aback. When she spoke, her tone was less authoritative and more conciliatory. “This is hard on all of us. You know Fred and I had planned to move to Tempe next year after things were more settled with Lizzie and the kids. We were going this year, but then you got sick. And we stayed on, because that’s what families do in those situations. We tried to do our best, for all of you.”

“We couldn’t have gotten on without you.”

This remark seemed to please her, and she smiled and gripped his hand. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

She continued, “We’ll take Michelle with us. And because Jack Jr. will be in Portland with Becky and Cory in LA with Frances, they will all at least be on or near the West Coast. I’m sure they’ll see each other fairly often. It’s really the only workable solution that I can see.”

“When?” Jack asked.

“The Christmas break is almost over, and we think we can get all the kids transitioned in the next month. We decided it was no good waiting until the fall, for a number of reasons. It’ll be better all around for them.”

“For you too,” said Jack. As soon as he said it, he wished he hadn’t.

Bonnie’s conciliatory look faded. “Yes, us too. Jack, we’re taking care of all the children. They’ll all have homes with people they love and who love them. You can’t have an issue with that.”

Jack touched his chest. “And me?”

“Yes, well... I was getting to that, of course.” She stood but didn’t look at him. Instead, she stared at a spot right over his head. “Hospice. I’ll arrange all the details.” Now she looked at him, and Jack had to admit, she didn’t look happy about this. “If we could take care of you, Jack, in the time that you have left, we would. But we’re not young anymore, and taking in Michelle and all...”

Fred added, “And Lizzie dying.”

Jack and Bonnie stared at him for an instant. Each seemed surprised the man was still there, much less that he had spoken. Bonnie said, “Yes, and Lizzie not... well, yes.”

Jack drew a long breath and mustered his strength. He said, “My kids, my decision.”

Fred looked at Jack and then over at his wife. Bonnie, though, had eyes only for Jack.

She said, “You can’t care for the kids. You can’t even take care of yourself. Lizzie did everything. And now she’s gone.” Her eyes glittered; her tone was harsh once more.

“Still my decision,” he said defiantly. He had no idea where he was going with this, but the words had tumbled from his mouth.

“Who else will take three kids? If we do nothing, the matter is out of our hands and they’ll go into foster care. They’ll probably never see each other again. Is that what you want?” She sat down next to him, her face inches from his. “Is that really what you want?”

He sucked in some more air, his resolve weakening along with his energy. “Why can’t I stay here?” he said. Another long inhalation. “Until the kids leave?”

“Hospice is much cheaper. I’m sorry if that sounds callous, but money is tight. Tough decisions have to be made.”

“So I die alone?”

Bonnie looked at her husband. Clearly, from his expression, Fred sided with Jack on this point.

Fred said, “Doesn’t seem right, Bonnie. Taking the family away like that. After all that’s happened.”

Jack shot his father-in-law an appreciative look.

Bonnie fidgeted. “I’ve been thinking about that, actually.” She sighed. “Jack, I’m not trying to be heartless. I care about you. I don’t want to do any of this.” She paused. “But they just lost their mother.” Bonnie paused but didn’t continue.

It slowly dawned on Jack, what she was getting at.

“And to see me die too?”

Bonnie spread her hands. “But you’re right. You are their father. So I’ll leave it up to you. You tell me what to do, Jack, and I’ll do it. We can keep the kids here until... until you pass. They can attend your funeral, and then we can make the move. They can be with you until the end.” She looked at Fred, but he apparently had nothing to add.

Jack was surprised, then, when Fred said, “Anything you want, Jack, we’ll take care of it. Okay?”

Jack was silent for so long that Bonnie finally rose, clutched her sweater more tightly around her shoulders and said, “Fine, we can have an in-home nursing service come. Lizzie had some life insurance. We can use those funds to—”

“Take the kids.”

Fred and Bonnie looked at him. Jack said again, “Take the kids.”

“Are you sure?” asked Bonnie. She seemed to be sincere, but Jack knew this way would take a lot of the pressure off her.

He struggled to say, “As soon as you can.” It won’t be long, Jack thought. Not now. Not with Lizzie gone.

When she turned to leave, Bonnie froze. Mikki and Cory were standing there.

Bonnie said nervously, “I thought you were upstairs.”

“You don’t think this concerns us?” Mikki said bluntly.

“I think the adults need to make the decisions for what’s best for the children.”

“I’m not a child!” Mikki snapped.

Bonnie said, “Michelle, this is hard on all of us. We’re just trying to do the best we can under the circumstances.” She paused and added, “You lost your mother and I lost my daughter.” Bonnie’s voice cracked as she added, “None of this is easy, honey.”

Mikki gazed over at her father. He could feel the anger emanating from his oldest child. “You’re all losers!” yelled Mikki. She turned and rushed from the house, slamming the door behind her.

Bonnie shook her head and rubbed at her eyes before looking back at Jack. “This is a big sacrifice, for all of us.” She left the room, with Fred obediently trailing her. Cory just stood there staring at his dad.

“Cor,” he began. But his son turned and ran back upstairs.

A minute went by as Jack lay there, feeling like a turtle toppled on its back.

“Jack?”

When he looked over, Bonnie was standing a few feet from his bed holding something in her hand.

“The police dropped this off yesterday.” She held it up. It was the bag with Jack’s prescription meds. “They found it in the van. It was very unfortunate that Lizzie had to go back out that night. If she hadn’t, she’d obviously be alive today.”

“I told her not to go.”

“But she did. For you,” she replied.

The tears started to slide down her cheeks as she hurried from the room.