Otherwise Unharmed

Chapter 21—Final Goodbyes

Lia wasn’t happy about it, but I insisted she stay at Rinaldo’s southern house while I bought replacement items for the things that were destroyed when Davies wrecked the apartment. I also had a few other things I wanted to get done before we left, and I couldn’t do all of those things with her in tow.

I also needed a little time to myself.

I kicked at the curb as I loitered and wished I had put on a warmer jacket. It was only late October, but the wind from the lake was chilling. After a few minutes of waiting, I looked up to see Mark Duncan as he was coming out of his office. With a shout and a wave, I flagged him down before he could get to his Land Rover.

“Hey, Mark!”

“Evan?” He stepped away from the vehicle and walked over to me on the sidewalk near the office building. “What can I do for you?”

“I just wanted to tell you I was leaving town,” I said. I shoved my hands into my pockets to provide a little warmth.

Mark snorted out a sharp laugh through his nose.

“Now you decide to tell me something?” His shoulders rose and fell with his breath, which froze into vapor as it came out of his mouth. “Where are you going?”

I reached up and scratched at the back of my head. I needed another haircut.

“Not sure exactly,” I said. I really did have a place in mind, but I hadn’t even told Lia where it was yet. I wasn’t sure how thrilled she was going to be with the location, but we could always move somewhere else later.

“So what made you stop here?”

I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but what had always been there—genuine concern for me. It felt odd to recognize it for what it was, but I knew it had always been there from the beginning. Maybe I could see it now because of Lia and her influence over me. I didn’t know for sure; I only knew she made me see things differently—clearer and with a mindset more toward what I could be, not what I have been.

“Well, I thought you might like to know I don’t think I’ll be seeing that kid anymore,” I said. “You know—the one with the bombs strapped to him.”

“I remember.”

“Yeah, I think he’s gone.”

“Why do you think that?” Mark asked.

“Because now I know why I kept seeing him.”

“How did you figure that out?” Mark asked as he appraised me.

“He told me,” I said with a shrug. He raised an eyebrow, and I snickered. “I guess I told myself. Anyway, it’s kind of why I’m leaving. Well, partially.”

“Are you taking Lia with you?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“I can only hope this is a good move for you, Evan. Let me know where you end up, and I’ll recommend someone to continue your treatment.”

“Sure,” I said. I looked into his eyes, and we both knew I wasn’t going to do it.

“Are you going to be all right?” he asked.

“I’ll manage,” I said. “Thanks for trying to help me.”

Mark reached out his hand, and I shook it.

“Good luck, Evan.” His tongue darted out over his lips. “If you do ever need anything, let me know, okay?”

“I can do that,” I said with a nod.

We parted.

I finished my shopping and then joined Rinaldo at his office. He shooed Nick out of the room so we could talk privately.

“There’s only one real kind of retirement in this business,” Rinaldo said flatly as soon as we were alone.

I stiffened in the chair across from him.

“So we’re going to say you’re on sabbatical, got it?”

I took a calming breath.

“Yes, sir. Thank you.”

“You saved my daughter,” he said. “You’ve saved me a number of times. I owe you a little something, but don’t ever forget I may need something from you one day in the future. I’ll respect what you need, but that doesn’t mean we’re parting ways forever, capisce?”

“Capisce.”

“I made sure the contracts were removed from both of you,” Rinaldo said. “That should keep anyone from following you. I also had Lia contact the police in Phoenix and resolve the missing person’s report her ex filed on her. She talked to her mother as well.”

I’d forgotten all about that.

“Thank you, sir.”

“In case you were wondering, all the charges against you have been resolved. You’re on probation, but don’t worry about checking in—Jonathan is covering all that for you.”

I blinked a couple of times.

“Seriously?”

“Apparently, he’s got an app for that.”

I laughed.

“Your mental state coupled with the extensive treatment you are currently undergoing is enough for the state.” Rinaldo smiled. “Everything else has been wiped clean.”

“Damn,” I muttered. “That’s pretty good work.”

“If you would have talked to me in the first place, maybe it would have happened a little sooner.”

I glanced down at my hands and swallowed hard.

“You made some bad choices, Arden,” he informed me.

I looked down, the scolding leaving me feeling genuinely contrite for once.

“If you get yourself in a bind, you fucking talk to me about it. We could have figured this one out together, and maybe we wouldn’t have the fucking disaster we have now.”

“I know, sir.”

“That said, I’m not holding you accountable. I know what you’ve been through, and I appreciate that. You’ve always been of great service to me and my family. I can’t discount that, even if you did demonstrate shit judgment on your part.”

“Yes, sir.” I took a breath and looked up at him. His expression softened.

“If you ever need anything from me in the future, you just let me know.” Rinaldo leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms as I nodded. “And let’s not make it putting you down, all right?”

I smiled.

“Yes, sir.”

“You and Lia going to leave right away?”

“As soon as I’m done with a few errands, yes.”

“Do you know where you’re going?”

I shrugged noncommittally.

“Not saying?”

“I’d prefer to keep it to myself, sir. If someone decides to look for me, I’d rather no one in your org know my location.”

Rinaldo nodded.

“We’re going to be busy with all of this. Even with the Russians mostly out of the picture, we’ve still got Greco to deal with. Once we’re reorganized, he’s going to have to pay for everything he’s done to this outfit and my family.”

“I’m sure he will, sir.”

“If I get wind that he’s looking for you out of town, I’ll let you know through your email.”

“I’ll keep an eye on it,” I promised.

Rinaldo stood, and I copied his movement. I thought he would reach out and shake my hand, but he came around the desk and hugged me instead. I returned the gesture a little awkwardly at first but then with tightened arms around his shoulders. We parted, and I took a slight step back.

“I’ve got your back,” Rinaldo said. “I hope you decide to stay in touch.”

“Maybe eventually,” I said. “I’ve got to try and figure out this whole real life thing, you know?”

“All of this hasn’t been real enough for you?” He waved his hands around the office and smiled.

“Nah.” I shook my head. “I think I slept through most of it.”

Rinaldo laughed.

“I hope you will rest easy now.”

“With Lia, yeah,” I said, “I think I will, sir.”

“Take care, son.”

My heart raced as I looked at him, nodded slowly, and turned to leave before I decided to change my mind. I made my way down the back steps without looking back.

It felt strange to walk out of his office with no intention of returning. I knew there would always be the possibility of him calling in a favor—and I would probably do whatever he asked—but for now, he would leave me in peace.

I looked out at the Chicago skyline as I boarded the bus and found two seats together so I had a place for my packages. It was equally strange to know I wouldn’t be riding around on the same CTA buses, looking up at the same buildings, or walking along the lake with Odin chasing seagulls and pigeons.

There were so many memories, so many things I had done here, but more often than not, they weren’t pleasant things. I rode the bus to where my car was parked and then found myself driving around Lake Shore East Park. Someone had fixed the warning sound for the parking garage. It wasn’t as loud as it used to be, but it still made me cringe. There was a spot open, so I parked the car and looked up to the balcony of my old apartment as I walked around the park.

Without actually meaning to, I went inside the dog run.

There were a few people hanging out there, and I sat down on a bench for a minute to watch the dogs sniff and bark at each other. A golden retriever mix came up to me, and I rubbed his head before his owner called him back. Memories of Odin flooded through my mind, but they were all good ones.

I left the park, drove to Giordano’s, and ordered a pizza.

After I had stuffed myself, I walked by the 676 Bar and Grill, but I didn’t go in. It was too early for Michele with one “L” to be working, and besides, the last memories I had there were of Davies. I’d known then he was hiding something, but I thought he was just planning to turn me in along with the rest of Greco’s group, not kidnap and try to rape my girlfriend.

My hands clenched into fists. Lia hadn’t said anything else about it, but I knew she thought about it. She’d woken up last night in a cold sweat, crying. I held her against my chest until she fell back to sleep.

I supposed I owed her a few nights of that.

I was pretty sure she and Luisa had talked about it more, and I was glad she had another woman to go to because I couldn’t even deal with my own traumas, let alone help with hers. I could be there for her, but I didn’t have any words to take away what had happened to her.

After all of that, she still felt guilty about taking his life.

I only regretted not doing it myself.

Shoving my hands in my pockets, I turned away from the lake wind and made the trek back to the car. I drove slowly through downtown traffic and watched the tourists with their shopping bags and Chicago-themed sweatshirts walk up and down the street, looking at maps and smartphones as they tried to figure out where they were.

I drove by the corner where Bridgett used to hang out and wait for tricks.

“You need to stop this shit,” I told myself. “Too many fucking memories.”

With a quick twist of the wheel, I got myself onto Lakeshore Drive and headed toward the less damaged of Rinaldo’s homes. When I arrived, all of Lia’s things were in a pile on the porch next to mine. As I pulled up, she came outside with Luisa and Jonathan behind her.

“Ready now?” she asked.

“Definitely,” I replied.

Luisa and Lia shared an awkward one-armed hug, carefully avoiding bumping the bright pink cast over Luisa’s arm and elbow. They spoke a few soft words as I threw the last of our things into the car and shut the lid to the trunk. Jonathan came over and clasped his hand on my back.

“You take care of yourself, brotha,” Jonathan said as he shook my hand vigorously. He was wearing his Save Ferris T-shirt, which made me smile. “You ever need anything, you know how to find me.”

“Thanks, dude,” I replied. “You sure you’re okay with taking care of…of Odin?”

“It’s my next stop,” Jonathan said. “He’s getting the biggest fucking stone in the pet graveyard, so if you ever come back, it’ll be easy enough to find.”

We looked at each other for a long moment, but there wasn’t anything else to be said. As strange as it was, given how many bodies I had disposed of during my tenure with Rinaldo’s organization, I couldn’t bring myself to take care of Odin’s. The very thought of it brought me to the point of vomiting. It could have been left over from the concussion, but I didn’t think so. When Jonathan had volunteered, I knew my dog would get the best final services he could. Thanks wouldn’t have been anywhere near enough, and Jonathan already knew how I felt about it anyway.

“Don’t put up with any shit from this guy!” Jonathan said to Lia as he gave her a quick hug and opened the car door for her.

She laughed.

“He wouldn’t dare,” she said with a wink to me.

I rolled my eyes, waved goodbye to Luisa, and got behind the wheel. Lia settled in beside me, and I pulled around the circular driveway and off into the street.

“We need to make one last stop,” I said.

“Where?” Lia asked.

“The old apartment over on Kingsbury. I’ve got to grab a couple things from there.”

“What?”

“Cash,” I replied.

Lia came with me as we headed up the elevator and then to the unit we had inhabited. She stood near the door and looked around as I grabbed a couple of suitcases from the back of the closet. When I came out, she was staring at a spot on the floor in the living room.

Odin’s spare rubber bone was lying there.

“Get it,” I said quietly.

She glanced at me, and there were tears threatening to spill from her lashes. She didn’t say anything, just quickly walked over and grabbed the bone. She shoved it into her purse, and we headed back downstairs.

I tossed the suitcases into the trunk and was about to slam it shut when a voice shouted out from behind me.

“You there!”

I startled and went for my gun. Lucky for her, the crotchety old woman with the bitch Odin had knocked up didn’t end up with a bullet in her head.

“You owe me eight thousand dollars!” she snapped. “I have four mongrel pups I can’t sell for anything!”

For a moment, I could only see red. I was dangerously close to strangling the old hag, but before I did, I glanced behind her and saw her dog on the lawn with four playful, white pups rolling around in the grass.

One of them perked her head up and looked over to us. Her tail began to wag furiously as she tried to bound over in our direction but tripped on her own feet instead. Distracted by whatever scent filled her nose upon impact, she attacked a blade of grass and forgot about us.

“You’re a nut,” I informed the woman. “Fuck you and the dogs.”

I turned around and started to walk away, but Lia stopped me.

“Evan?” Lia said as her hand rested against my elbow. “Evan, can we…can we take one of them?”

My chest tightened. At first, I wanted to say no. I wasn’t replacing Odin—there was no way. But these pups…they were part of him, too.

He took a bullet for her.

I went back to the car, looked around carefully to make sure no one was watching, and then opened one of the suitcases full of cash. I quickly counted out eight grand and brought it over to the woman.

“Here,” I said. “Don’t ask for another fucking thing from me, and don’t give me any shit about it—we’re taking one of the puppies.”

She opened her mouth like she was going to argue with me anyway but thought better of it as she stared at the cash in her hand. I took Lia’s arm and led her over to the fluffy white, wriggling balls of fur. The same puppy that fell over her own feet earlier bounced over and licked Lia’s hand.

“That one,” I said definitively.

“I think you are right,” Lia replied as she picked her up.

She twisted and turned to get out of Lia’s arms at first, but then turned toward her face and licked her chin.

“That’s disgusting,” I told the pup, and her ears perked up at the sound of my voice. She stared at me intently for a moment and then struggled to get out of Lia’s arms and over to me. I rubbed her head, but Lia kept hold of her.

“She’s perfect,” Lia said as we got into the car, and the pup watched out the window as I pulled away. “What are we going to call her?”

“Freyja,” I said without giving it another thought.

“What’s that from?”

“She’s the Norse Goddess of fertility, love, and beauty,” I told her. I left out how she was also the goddess of death and war—that shit didn’t make sense to me, anyway. It sounded better to leave it as it was.

“That’s perfect,” Lia said with a smile.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as she rubbed the pup’s head and started to tear up again.

“She’s got her dad’s eyes,” I remarked, and Lia nodded in agreement.

“Her breath is better,” she said as she wiped the wetness off her cheeks. “Do you think she’ll like to play fetch?”

“Definitely.”

I pulled onto the freeway and headed northwest, out of Chicago.

“Where are we going to go?” Lia asked.

“Canada,” I replied simply. “I have a cabin up there.”

“Like the one in Arizona?” she asked.

“Not exactly,” I said with a smile, “but similar.”

“Middle of nowhere?”

“You got it.”

“Will this place have electricity at least?” she asked.

“It’s got a propane tank,” I replied. I looked over to smile at her slyly. “Mostly gets used to heat the hot tub.”

Lia laughed, and I reached over to hold her hand.

Freyja licked the back of my knuckles.

“Disgusting,” I grumbled and sped up the highway as the Chicago skyline disappeared behind us. I would miss it—well, parts of it—but everything important to me was with me.

I reached over to hold Lia’s hand as we drove away.

Nothing could have been better.