Our Souls at Night

7

During the day she had cleaned her house thoroughly and had clean sheets on the bed upstairs and had bathed and eaten a sandwich for supper. As the day faded, she sat in the living room, quiet, motionless, thinking, waiting till Louis should come to the door and knock as it turned dark.

Finally he came and she let him in. She could see something was different. What’s wrong? she said.

I’ll tell you in a minute. Can we have a drink first?

Of course.

They went to the kitchen and she gave him a bottle of beer and poured wine for herself. She looked at him, waiting.

We’re no secret anymore, he said. If we ever were.">Why not?

How do you know? What happened?

You know Dorlan Becker.

He used to own the men’s store.

Yes. He sold it and stayed in town. Everybody thought he’d move somewhere else. He never seemed to like it here. He goes down to Arizona for the winters.

What’s that have to do with our secret being out?

He’s one of the people I meet with at the bakery a couple times a month. Today he wanted to know how I had so much energy. Being out all night and then to do what I normally do in the daytime.

What did you say?

I told him he was getting the reputation of a gossip and a liar. I got mad. I didn’t handle it right. I’m still mad about it.

I can tell.

I should’ve just ignored it and defused it. But I didn’t. I didn’t want them thinking anything bad about you.

Let it go, Louis. We knew from the start that people would find out. We talked about it.

Yes, but I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want them making up a story about us. About you.

I appreciate that. But they can’t hurt me. I’m going to enjoy our nights together. For as long as they last.

He looked at her. Why do you say it that way? You sound like I did the other day. Don’t you think they’ll last? For a good while?

I hope so, she said. I told you I don’t want to live like that anymore — for other people, what they think, what they believe. I don’t think it’s the way to live. It isn’t for me anyway.