Purrfect Cut

Chapter 10

The next visitor who swam into our ken wasn’t the strangely rude cat who called himself Tank, but a timid white cat who looked as if she’d just seen a ghost. I’d opened one eye at the sound of something or someone slithering through the low grass, and found myself face to face with this new arrival.

“Hey, there,” I said good-naturedly, for my mood always improves when I can get some quality shut-eye. Plus, I was happy Tank hadn’t returned.

The cat stared at me with fear etched across her furry features. She was a very pretty, smallish cat of the Birman variety if I wasn’t mistaken. She also had a little crown on her head and a pendant around her neck that could have been a diamond. My guess was that she lived on the premises. And that her name was Pussy.

“Nice weather we’ve been having,” I said by way of introduction. Always a nice icebreaker. It didn’t work on this cat, though, for she continued staring at me as if I were some monster from the deep about to devour her whole.

“Do you live around here?” I asked, going for my second most popular icebreaker.

This time there was a response, as the cat nodded twice.

“Hey, that’s great. We’re just visiting,” I said. “Our human is an amateur sleuth and she’s looking into the death of the owner of this place. Did you know him?”

Again a quick nod.

Dooley, who’d woken up from all of my chattering, also opened his eyes.

“Hey there,” he said. “Nice weather we’ve been having.”

“Already tried that, Dooley,” I said from the corner of my mouth. “No dice.”

“Do you live around here?” he asked next.

The cat opened her mouth and said, in a squeaky voice, “I live here. What are you doing in Samson’s pen?”

“Samson’s pen? Oh, you mean this pen belongs to someone?” I asked.

“Who’s Samson?” asked Dooley, deciding to go for the direct approach.

“Samson is Gabe’s pet chicken,” said the cat, surprising us with her sudden eloquence.

“Pet chicken?” I asked.

She nodded three times. “She ran away last night. I should have known it was a bad sign.”

“Chickens do tend to run away,” I said, as if I were the world’s greatest expert on poultry, which I’m not. I haven’t met a lot of chickens in my time, or made friends with our feathered friends. Chickens tend to make themselves scarce when cats are around.

“So where did Samson run off to?” asked Dooley.

The cat shrugged.

“And why is Samson running away a bad sign?” I asked.

“My human died this morning,” she said, and looked as if she were on the verge of tears. “And then my other human was arrested for murder, and now it’s just me and a dozen staff and who knows what will happen next?”

“I guess the human that’s dead will stay dead and the human that was arrested for murder will go to prison,” said Dooley. “But that’s just a wild guess so don’t pin me down on that.”

“Dooley!” I hissed. “Can’t you see she’s distraught.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Dooley, horrified. “I didn’t realize…”

“It’s all right,” said the cat, her eyes downcast and her lips trembling. “Like I said, I should have seen it coming.”

“You mean with Samson running off and all?” I asked.

“Yeah, and with Leo and Gabe fighting all the time.”

“Yeah, that’s usually a bad sign.”

She’d plunked herself down in front of us, and seemed more amenable to chatting now. Always good to get this kind of stuff off your chest. And without boasting I can tell you that both Dooley and I are excellent listeners. That’s what you get from living with Harriet and Brutus: they’re excellent talkers and we’re excellent listeners. And so the world keeps on turning.

“So you’re Pussy, right?” I said.

She nodded. “That’s me. Lady of the house. Only now I’ll probably be foisted off on some relative. I’m not sure I will like that.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” I said, more as a blanket statement of consolation than because I had a clue of the inner workings of the Flake family dynamics.

She gave me a strange look. “I’m worth a great deal of money, you know. So whoever gets me, pretty much wins the lottery.”

“Is that right?”

“Well, at least I think I am. Rich, I mean. Leo always said that when he died I would inherit. Not sure if he decided to go through with it in the end.”

“From what I heard you inherit the lot,” I said. “At least if no will turns up.”

“That’s… gratifying, I guess,” she said. “Though money isn’t everything. I’d rather have Leo and Gabe back than to be the richest cat in the world.”

“Oh, no, sure,” I said, though I had no idea. I’ve never been the richest cat in the world.

“You also inherit the company,” said Dooley.

“Not sure what I’m going to do with it.”

“Can cats run a company?”

“I think it might be a little hard. After all, you need to be able to delegate, or get your instructions across, and in this world it’s tough to get a human to listen to you, much less do as you say. And then there’s the fact that I don’t know the first thing about designing, whether for the fall or spring edition.”

“Yeah, there’s that,” I muttered, not a clue what she was talking about.

“Anyway, I’m very glad you decided to listen to me,” she said, getting up. “It’s nice to have someone to chat with.”

“Oh, any time,” said Dooley. “We’re on strike right now, you see, so we have all the time in the world to listen to all of your gripes and thoughts.”

“Thanks,” she said softly. “So what are your names?”

“Max,” I said.

“Dooley,” said Dooley.

“Very nice to meet you, Max and Dooley,” she said with a smile.

“Likewise,” I said.

“Stick around. I have a feeling Samson isn’t coming back, so this pen is yours.”

“Thanks for the offer, but we actually have a home.”

“Not for long,” said Dooley with a sad glance at me.

“Yeah, not for long,” I said. “Our human is getting married soon, and we have reason to believe she’s going to chuck us out when she does.”

“Oh, that’s terrible,” said Pussy. “It seems to draw us even closer together, doesn’t it? I’m without a human right now, and soon you two will be, too.”

We thought about this for a moment, and I had to swallow away a lump. I’ve never been without a human before, and the prospect didn’t appeal to me.

“Maybe we will stay here,” said Dooley. “At least for the time being, until Odelia figures out what she wants to do with us.”

I nodded my agreement. “We’ll hang around,” I told Pussy. “We’re in the same boat now, and we might as well stick together.”

“That’s so nice of you,” she said, and I could see that the prospect of having a friend in this, her hour of need, greatly bucked her up.

And as she returned to the house, a nice swing in her walk, I thought about the things she’d said.

“Do you really think she’ll inherit the Flake fortune?” asked Dooley.

“I doubt it,” I said. “Humans may be crazy, but no human is as crazy as that. No, he’ll probably have set up some kind of trust fund with Pussy as the beneficiary as long as she lives. She’ll be well-provided for.”

“Unlike us,” said Dooley sadly.

“Unlike us,” I agreed.

And as we placed our heads on our paws again, enjoying the hospitality of the absent Samson the chicken, the thought occurred to me that maybe whoever Pussy’s new owners were going to be, they might be induced to adopt Dooley and myself and Harriet and Brutus. Unless Marge and Tex and Gran were up to the task, of course. Then again, maybe they weren’t. Taking care of one cat is one thing, or even two, but four? Not many humans were prepared to take their love of pets to such an extreme.

And as I drifted off to sleep, the words of Tank came back to me: your reign is over. It very well might be, whatever a reign was.