Purrfect Double. Purrfect Date

ôDid you get all of it?ö asked Scarlett.

ôI sure did,ö said Gran proudly. She gave Harriet and Brutus a cheerful glance. ôWe did good tonight, you guys. James Bond doesnÆt come anywhere near it. Our undercover mission was a roaring success!ö

ôAnd we even got to keep our livers!ö Brutus added.

ôTake that, Max,ö Harriet said with a wink.

Max might be Hampton CoveÆs super sleuth, but it was doubtful heÆd have been able to pull off a daring stunt like this!

Chapter 25

We were in Uncle AlecÆs office, discussing the case and trying to come up with a strategy on how to move forward. Chase and Odelia were studying their notes while Uncle Alec had taken a phone callà from his mother!

ôUh-huh,ö he was saying. ôUh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. No way.ö Finally he hung up, and sat staring before him for a moment, then finally looked up. ôMy mom went undercover in the Duck Liberation Front. Did you know anything about this?ö

ôYeah, she told us,ö said Odelia.

ôWell, looks like she changed her mind,ö said OdeliaÆs uncle. ôShe and Scarlett were just driven out of a meeting and pursued half a block, just because they brought in Harriet and Brutus, concealed in a pair of bags.ö He tugged at his bulbous nose. ôWhy would they take cats to a meeting of duck fans? That doesnÆt make any sense.ö

ôIÆm afraid thatÆs my fault,ö I piped up. ôI suggested that Brutus and Harriet keep a close eye on LitaÆs outfit. Find out what theyÆre up to.ö

Odelia relayed my words to the others and Uncle Alec frowned.ôMa is also convinced that one of LitaÆs group is behind the murder of Eric Blandine. Though when she said that whoever killed Blandine deserves a medal, Lita kicked her and Scarlett out of the group.ö

ôYeah, Lita is in the clear,ö said Chase. ôShe and Tobias Pushman are an item, and they were together the night Eric was killed.ö

ôOkay,ö said Uncle Alec, clapping his hands. ôGive me a rundown of the case. What have we got so far?ö

ôWell, if we assume that the killer was actually targeting Cotton and not Eric,ö said Odelia, ôthen weÆre looking for a person or persons who held a grudge against Cotton.ö

ôAnd the list of people who hated Cotton is long,ö Chase warned. ôThereÆs his ex-wife Dawn, who wasnÆt happy when Cotton left her for a younger woman, though she was with her daughter Inari that night, or so they claim. ThereÆs Inari herself, of course, who canÆt have liked the fact that her dad hurt her mom. Then thereÆs Diedrich, the family patriarch, whoÆs seriously displeased with his sonÆs romantic shenanigans that have caused perhaps irreparable harm to the Karat Group. And of course thereÆs CottonÆs younger brother Jared, who claims heÆs not interested in taking over as CEO, but who could be lying.ö

ôAlibis?ö asked the Chief.

ôDiedrich was home aloneùhis wife died a couple of years ago. Though there are servants, Diedrich could easily have snuck out and killed Eric Blandine.ö

ôHe didnÆt know about this whole switcheroo business?ö

ôOh, yes, he did. It was TobiasÆs idea, but they worked it out together, hoping to save the company.ö

ôWhat about the brother? WhatÆs his story?ö

ôHome with his wife Susan. And yes, I checked and Susan confirmed his account.ö

ôOkay, so what weÆre left with is these duck nutters andàö The Chief grabbed for his reading glasses, which were perched atop his head. ôElvis Diamond? WhoÆs he?ö

ôMajor shareholder of the Karat Group,ö said Odelia. ôStands to lose the most if Cotton keeps up his losing streak.ö

ôRight. And you mentioned something about a competing farmer?ö

ôZak Lemanowicz,ö said Chase, nodding. ôHe used to be one of the Karat GroupÆs suppliers, until they decided to switch to Merle Poltorak. According to several people I spoke to Mr. Lemanowicz is one very unhappy duck farmer.ö

ôOkay, so you better have a chat with both this Diamond character and the duck farmer. Now how about this supermodel Cotton was dating? Did you check her alibi?ö

ôWe did,ö said Chase. ôShe was indeed in a conference call with theVogue people. TheyÆre featuring her for the twentieth time and theyÆre doing something special.ö

ôSo thatÆs a bust, too,ö said the Chief, mussing up his thinning mane so he momentarily looked like a crazy scientist. Then he carefully flattened it again against his skull. ôRight! Well, off you go, then. And bring me something good this time. I want results, peopleùresults!ö And to emphasize his words, he glared in my direction for some reason.

I gave him my best smile, which was completely lost on him, then we all skedaddled.

ôTough case,ö said Dooley as we walked out. ôEverybody seems to have an alibi. ItÆs not fair, Max. Why do they all have an alibi?ö

ôBecause theyÆre all innocent?ö I suggested.

ôBut innocent people donÆt have alibis, Max. Innocent people donÆt bother with that kind of stuff. They simply go about their lives and donÆt care if a person is murdered or not. But this lot, they all have carefully constructed alibis! Conference calls, and wives and husbands and television programs they were watchingàö He frowned. ôHow do we know that Dawn and Inari Karat were watchingBedazzled? They could be making it up.ö

ôOf course,ö I said. ôJust like JaredÆs wife Susan could be making it up. Or Tobias and Lita Fiol. All these people giving one another alibis, itÆs all highly suspect, Dooley.ö

He gave me a suspicious look, figuring I was probably being sarcastic. But I wasnÆt. It was all very flimsy. A wife giving her husband an alibi. A boyfriend giving his girlfriend an alibi. Or a mother and daughter. How could you be sure they were telling the truth? You simply couldnÆt! The only one who had a solid alibi was Ebony Pilay. ThoseVogue people werenÆt going to lie for her sake, now were they? Though of course they might. She was, after all, a highly successful and important model, and they were all good friends.

And friends have been known to lie to protect people, havenÆt they?

ôI think itÆs the duck people,ö said Dooley as we all got into the car. ôOne of them must have snapped. It happens all the time. TheyÆre all peaceful and loving and hugging ducks and then all of a sudden something fizzles in their brain and they go completely cuckoo.ö

ôItÆs possible,ö I allowed. Though somehow it all seemed tooà convenient for my taste. Too easy. As if the killer was desperately trying to point to LitaÆs outfit. I mean, who in their right mind would murder a person in such a way that made it obvious that you were to blame? The duck people might be a little nutty, but surely they werenÆt idiots?

Of course chasing two cats through the streets wasnÆt exactly the hallmark of a sound mindà

Chapter 26

Elvis Diamond happened to live in the same apartment complex as Ebony Pilay, so we already knew the way when we arrived there. The man had secured himself a loft at the top of the building, which comprised the entire floor. He even had a private elevator so he wouldnÆt have to breathe the same air as those less fortunate than himself.

Mr. Diamond was a man in his mid-forties, with an excellent taste in clothes. He had a stylish beard thing going, and wore dark glasses even though we were inside. Maybe he had a problem with his eyes, or else he just thought he looked cool. Like a rock star.

ôSo what can I do for you?ö he said, smiling beneficently as if granting us a favor.

ôYouÆre the major shareholder of the Karat Group?ö asked Chase.

ôThatÆs right. After the family, of course. They still own the majority of stock.ö

ôSo with the price of the stock dropping, you must have lost a great deal of money?ö

He shrugged.ôYour experienced investor learns to take these vicissitudes in stride.ö

ôA fifty percent drop in price is a big chunk of change. You must have been furious.ö

ôI can assure you that I wasnÆt. And IÆm sure that the stock price will rise again. The fundamentals of the Karat Group are sound. Nothing has changed on that front.ö He made a slight gesture. ôItÆs an emotional response to an unfortunate lapse of judgment on CottonÆs part. But nothing that wonÆt rectify itself in the long run. And make no mistake: IÆm in this for the long haul. IÆm not a day trader, in and out looking to make a quick buck. I invest in the Karat Group because I believe in the long-term prospects of the group.ö

ôStill, it must have been a bad day for you when Cotton managed to singlehandedly sink the stock and cause you to lose millions.ö

The man gave us a placid smile.ôIs there a point to this, detective?ö

ôIÆm curious to know where you were on the night that Eric Blandine was killed. LetÆs say between ten and midnight?ö

ôI was here.ö

ôAlone?ö

ôYes.ö

ôSo no one can vouch for you?ö

ôIÆm afraid not.ö

And while Chase and Mr. Diamond squared off, Dooley and I decided to wander off and look for a bite to eat. WeÆd discovered that Elvis Diamond owned a pet, and if my nose wasnÆt deceiving me, that pet was a cat, and since the investor seemed like a very rich man, we were both anxious to see what kind of kibble all of that money would buy.

We ambled into the kitchen, just to have a quick look-see, you see, when we came upon a smallish gray cat, who looked a lot like Dooley.

ôHey there,ö I said when we laid eyes on her. ôMind if we take a look around?ö

The cat, who seemed a little shy, gave us a keen look from beneath long lashes.ôIÆm sorry, but who are you?ö

ôMy name is Max and this is Dooley,ö I said, making the necessary introductions. But if IÆd expected to be invited to partake in her meals, I was very much mistaken.

ôThis is private property,ö she said. ôMy private property. So IÆm going to have to ask you to leave.ö

ôWe were invited here,ö I said, taken aback by this sudden vehemence. ôOur humans are detectives, you see, and theyÆre here to talk to your human.ö Or at least I assumed Elvis Diamond was her human. ôSo technically weÆre valued guests here.ö

ôWhatÆs your name?ö asked Dooley.

The cat continued to look a little shy, though her words belied that stance.ôPriscilla,ö she said. ôThough Elvis calls me Pris.ö She eyed Dooley with unveiled curiosity. ôYou look familiar somehow. Have we met before?ö

ôI donÆt think so,ö said Dooley. ôIÆm sure IÆd remember.ö

The cat simpered a little at this, and I could tell that Dooley was doing a good job at breaking the ice. A much better job than I was doing, at any rate. So I decided to keep my trap shut. Some cats are intimidated when they come into contact with a, letÆs say, big cat like me. They see my heft and bulk and think IÆm probably some bruiser type. Whereas IÆm as far removed from the bruiser type as you can get. A pussycat, really, thatÆs me.

ôSo do you eat meat?ö asked Dooley.

ôOf course, silly,ö said Pris. ôWhat cat doesnÆt?ö

ôI donÆt,ö said Dooley. ôYou see, IÆm a vegetarian.ö

This was news to me, but I refrained from comment.

ôA vegetarian!ö Pris cried, clearly amused. ôYouÆre pulling my paw.ö

ôNo, IÆm not. IÆve seen how they treat ducks, and itÆs not pretty.ö

ôYouÆve met a duck, have you?ö

ôYes, up close and in person. His name was Fred, and he wasnÆt happy, there in his little cage, being fattened up so he could be served up as food for some meat eater.ö These last words were spoken with a touch of scorn, as befitting your true vegetarian.

ôWell, I donÆt know about that,ö said Pris. ôYou see, IÆve never set paw outside of this apartment. So IÆve never met a duck, or any other living creature, really.ö

ôOh, you poor thing!ö Dooley cried with heartfelt pity.

ôItÆs all right,ö said Pris. ôYou get used to the cloistered life. And itÆs not as if I can complain, really. Elvis really spoils me. The best food, and the best toys. And it is pretty dangerous out there, as he keeps reminding me. So itÆs probably all for the best.ö

ôIt can get dangerous out there,ö Dooley agreed. ôTwo friends of ours were chased by duck people today. They almost didnÆt make it out alive.ö

ôWhat are duck people?ö asked Pris, interested.

ôPeople who love ducks,ö Dooley explained.

Pris laughed.ôYouÆre so funny, Dooley.ö

Meanwhile, IÆd engaged in a close inspection of the kitchen, and had hit upon the jackpot: three bowls filled with the most delicious food a cat can hope to find. I was salivating, and my tummy was rumbling, reminding me it was past my feed time.

ôCould I trouble you for a few nuggets of kibble?ö I asked finally.

ôGo ahead,ö said Pris. ôEat as much as you like.ö

She didnÆt need to tell me twice, and for the next couple of minutes I was dead to the world as I gobbled up as much as I could in as short a space of time as I could manage.

When Pris finally returned her attention to me, she laughed an incredulous laugh.ôHow did you do that?!ö she cried.

I gave her a guilty look.ôToo much?ö

ôNo, itÆs fine. I just wonder where you put it. Usually a bowl like that is enough to last me three days.ö

ôThatÆs because you donÆt get out much,ö I said.

ôItÆs also because Max is much bigger than you,ö said Dooley reverently. ôHeÆs probably five times your size, Pris, so he also needs to eat five times as much as you.ö

ôHey,ö I said. ôIÆm not five times her size.ö

They both studied me for a moment, then Pris said,ôNo, youÆre right. YouÆre probably ten times my size.ö

God. EveryoneÆs a critic.

ôIs it true that your human didnÆt leave the apartment two nights ago?ö I asked, deciding to make sure this visit paid off in more ways than could be measured in kibble.

ôOh, absolutely,ö said Pris. ôElvis rarely leaves the apartment.ö

ôAnd is it true that he didnÆt mind one bit that Cotton Karat lost him half his investment?ö

ôMax!ö said Dooley. ôYou canÆt interrogate Pris like that. SheÆs not a suspect.ö

ôIÆm sorry,ö I murmured. I guess that nasty crack about my weight still stung.

ôBut Max has a point,ö Dooley said. ôYou see, a man was murdered, and weÆre trying to find out who did it. I personally think it was the duck people, but Max thinks thatÆs too obvious. So now weÆre trying to figure out where everyone was when this man was killed, and if they had a good motive for killing him.ö

ôWellà Elvis has been in a bad mood for the past couple of days,ö said Pris. ôHe watched something on television the other day, and it must have upset him a great deal, for he threw his remote across the room, and then he spent the rest of the day on the phone shouting at people. He seemed very anxious to get rid of a man named Cotton and to get a man named Jared to take his place. In fact he talked to this Jared person a lot.ö

ôJared Karat, huh?ö I said, exchanging a knowing glance with Dooley. ôInteresting.ö

ôYou really shouldnÆt stop eating meat, Dooley,ö said Pris now. ôItÆs not good for you. Us cats canÆt afford to be vegetarians, you know. In fact we might die if we go that route.ö

ôDie!ö Dooley cried, fully aghast.

ôOf course. Cats are carnivores, Dooley. We need meat. If we donÆt, well, itÆs the end.ö

ôThe end! Oh, no!ö

ôOh, sweet Dooley, I didnÆt mean to upset you,ö said Pris, as she nudged my friend. ôBut itÆs true. Whoever told you to become a vegetarian was doing you a disservice.ö

Dooley directed a look at me, and Pris gasped in shock.ôYou told him! But Maxùyou could have killed him!ö

ôWhat are you talking about? I didnÆt tell him to become a vegetarian!ö I said.

ôBut you didnÆt tell me not to become one either,ö Dooley pointed out.

ôI did! I told you exactly the same thing Pris is telling you right now!ö

ôNo, you didnÆt.ö

ôI didùI really did!ö

ôOh, Max. YouÆre not a good friend to Dooley, are you?ö said Pris, tsk-tsking lightly.

For crying out loud! What was the world coming to, if cats were going to distort my words! But since I had an urgent message for Odelia, I decided not to argue my point, but to return to the living room, where Chase and Mr. Diamond were still duking it out.

ôYou canÆt come in here and bully me, detective,ö Elvis was saying.

ôIÆm not bullying you!ö Chase said.

I quickly snuck up to Odelia and whispered a few words into her ear. She smiled and gave me a grateful pat on the head. At least one person in this apartment still liked me.

ôMr. Diamond,ö said Odelia. ôElvis. IsnÆt it true that you hated Cotton sinking your stock and spent all day on the phone with Jared, trying to convince him to take over as CEO?ö

ElvisÆs jaw dropped at this. ôHow did youàö

ôI have my sources,ö said Odelia with a tight smile. ôBut itÆs true, isnÆt it?ö

Elvis blinked, then finally inclined his head.ôYes, itÆs true. IÆve never been a big fan of Cotton. The manÆs all flash and glib sales talk. But when it comes down to business, heÆs as inept as they come. He doesnÆt care about the group. All he cares about is himself and the women he likes to surround himself with. HeÆs bad news and has proven a disaster as CEO. So yes, I wanted Jared to take over from his brother. And if he didnÆt, I told Diedrich IÆd unload every last piece of stock I owned. Cut my losses and bail.ö He grimaced. ôI donÆt have to tell you that didnÆt go down well. In fact it was probably the main reason they suddenly bundled Cotton into a car and shipped him off to that rehab facility.ö

ôJared wasnÆt aware of that, was he?ö

ôOh, of course he was. Do you really think Tobias Pushman would pull a stunt like that all on his own? You canÆt whisk off the CEO of one of the biggest companies in this country without the go-ahead of the rest of the management teamùor the manÆs family.ö

ôSo if CottonÆs family knew that Eric Blandine was a lookalikeàö said Chase.

ôà they had absolutely no reason to kill him,ö Odelia completed the sentence.

ôAnd neither did I,ö said Elvis. ôSince I knew about the switch from the start.ö

ôRight,ö said Chase, sounding disappointed.

ôDid you get Jared to agree to take his brotherÆs place?ö asked Odelia.

Elvis sighed.ôItÆs not as simple as you think. A lot of investors donÆt like Jared.ö

ôAnd why is that?ö

ôJared botched an important deal a couple of years ago. This was when Diedrich was still CEO. Both brothers were vying for his position, and as a test Diedrich tasked them with reeling in two big clients. Cotton pulled it off with flying colors, but Jared managed to make a total mess of things. HeÆd flown off to China for some final negotiations and when he got there set the meeting in a brothel of all places. The Chinese delegation was rightly outraged and the deal ended up in the toilet. Rumor had it that it was actually Cotton whoÆd arranged that meeting place.ö

ôTo sabotage his brother,ö said Chase.

ôExactly. One month later Cotton was announced as the new CEO and Jared as CFO.ö

ôBut Jared told us he has absolutely no interest in being CEO,ö said Odelia. ôNever has.ö

ôPardon my French, but then he fed you a lot of crap, Mrs. Kingsley. JaredÆs always wanted to follow in his fatherÆs footsteps. And between you and me, heÆd make a much better CEO than Cotton. Which is why IÆve been trying to persuade Diedrich to give him another chance. And with Cotton making an absolute shambles of things, he just might.ö

Chapter 27

ôWhat else did Pris tell you?ö I asked once we were back in the car.

ôOh, just that I have to be my own cat from now on, and not listen to your bad advice.ö

ôBad advice! I was the one who told you that not eating meat will kill you!ö

ôNo, you didnÆt. You urged me on. Made me go down a dangerous road.ö

ôOh, for crying out loud.ö

ôShe also told me that I should never listen to a cat whoÆs as clearly obese as you.ö

ôIÆm not obese,ö I said frostily. ôIÆve told you this a hundred times. IÆm big-boned.ö

ôIÆm sorry, Max, but what Pris said really resonated with me. I think from now on IÆm going to have to keep my own counsel.ö

ôWhat does that even mean!ö

ôI means,ö said my best friend, ôthat I donÆt need your advice anymore.ö And then he ostentatiously turned his back on me and proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the ride.

Jared didnÆt look happy when we paid him a second visit in one day. ôI think IÆve said all I have to say,ö he grumbled when we walked in. ôAnd if you want to speak to me youÆd better get in touch with my lawyers.ö

ôWe just had a chat with Elvis Diamond,ö said Chase, ignoring the manÆs outburst and planting his hands on his desk. ôAnd he told us that youÆve been conspiring with him to replace your brother as CEO. So all that nonsense you gave us about not being a people person and not having any interest in being CEO? IÆm afraid youÆve wasted your breath.ö

Jared stared at the cop, eyes glittering, then finally relented.ôAll right, so IÆve been in negotiation with Elvis. We had to do something. My dad is either too blind or too stubborn to see it, but Cotton is destroying this company. Another six months with him in charge and stock will be trading at cents on the dollar! So we had to act now to save us.ö

ôAnd what did your dad say?ö

ôHeÆs coming around to our point of view.ö

ôAnd Cotton? What part does he play in all this?ö

Jared looked away.ôCotton still has a part to play. But not as CEO.ö

ôSo youÆll be replacing him, is that it? When was this decided?ö

ôWeÆre going to announce it at the next conference call.ö

ôYouÆre a real piece of work, arenÆt you, Jared?ö said Chase.

ôI couldnÆt tell you! In fact IÆd appreciate it if you kept this to yourselves. ItÆs highly sensitive information that could have an enormous impact on the market. We have to tread very carefully, and make sure the transition goes off without a hitch this time.ö

ôIs it true that your brother sabotaged your first bid for leadership?ö asked Odelia.

Jared laughed as he dragged his fingers through his hair.ôElvis has really opened up, hasnÆt he? Had a real heart-to-heart with you two? What is this? His Oprah moment?ö

ôThe truth this time, Jared,ö said Chase. ôAt least if you remember the meaning of the word.ö

ôOkay, all right! Yes, Cotton sabotaged my first bid for CEO, and IÆve hated him for it ever since. Happy now?ö

ôSo you decided to take revenge by having him evicted from his office this time.ö

ôNo! Well, yes, in a way, I guess. But not out of spite. In the interest of the company.ö

ôOf course,ö said Chase. ôEverything you do is in the best interests of the company.ö

ôYou donÆt understand, detective.ö

ôSo enlighten me.ö

ôIÆve been forced to sit here and watch our profits dwindle year after year, through the sheer ineptitude of my brother. Because he canÆt be bothered to keep his eye on the ball. Did you know that he alienated our best foie gras supplier and now weÆre forced to sell an inferior product? AnddonÆt think for a minute that the customer doesnÆt notice, because he does.ö

ôThis alienated supplier wouldnÆt be Zak Lemanowicz, by any chance?ö

Jared looked surprised.ôHow did youàö

ôIÆm wondering, Mr. Karat,ö said Chase, taking a seat on the edge of the manÆs desk and picking up a perpetuum mobile that sat there. It consisted of balls suspended from strings, and when you hit one ball, it hit the next, and so on until the whole thing reversed. He now let drop the firstball. ôIÆm wondering whether your desire to save the company was so strong that you decided to kill Eric Blandine and send a clear message to your brother: back off or youÆre next.ö

Jared swallowed.ôI already told you: I was home with my wife Susan.ö

ôWives have been known to lie to protect their husbands.ö

ôOh, for heavenÆs sake, man. Do you really believe IÆd drag the group through a murder inquiry? ItÆs bad enough that Cotton tanked the stock with his outrageous behavior, but this murder business has really put us on the spot. We all thought we could get away with Cotton being tucked away for the time being, and now itÆs completely blown up in our faces.ö He snatched the mobile from ChaseÆs hands and replaced it on his desk. ôCanÆt you see that BlandineÆs murder is the last thing I need? The last thing this company needs!ö

ôYou have to admit itÆs handy if you want to put pressure on Cotton and your dad.ö

ôGet out,ö said Jared, whose face had taken on a dangerously dark color. ôAnd next time you want to talk to meùyou better call my lawyer first!ö

Looks like weÆd outstayed our welcome, and so we left.

Chapter 28

The duck farm that Mr. Lemanowicz presided over was not a big operation, but it still housed a couple of thousand ducks. Less than the place where Eric Blandine had met a sticky end, but nevertheless a lot of ducks to contend with. Lita Fiol would have felt right at home there, I imagined, and so would her duck-loving, cat-hating buddies.

We found Zak Lemanowicz in one of the big barns, where he was dumping what looked like slop into large rubber bowls. The ducks eagerly came waddling up and tucked in. So the slop might actually have been food. Not to my taste, though. Then again, as already indicated, IÆm probably spoiled.

ôMr. Lemanowicz,ö said Chase, walking up to the man. The farmer was dressed like one would expect: in green coveralls, rubber boots and a leathery face. ôA word, please, sir?ö And since he was holding up his badge, he made it obvious that his question was more in the nature of an order, nota request.

ôWhat do you want?ö the farmer grunted.

ôJust a couple of questions,ö said Odelia in more kindly tones.

ôItÆs always just a couple of questions,ö the man grumbled.

ôYou used to be the Karat GroupÆs main supplier of foie gras?ö asked Odelia.

ôI was, until Cotton decided he could get a better deal and took his business elsewhere.ö

ôTo Merle Poltorak.ö

ôI trained Merle. He was a farmhand here for years. When he went into business for himself I even helped set him up. And thatÆs how he repaid me for my kindness: by snatching my biggest client and promising him he could supply the same product for half the price. Taught me a lesson right there.ö

ôAccording to Jared Karat Merle delivers an inferior product?ö

ôOf course he does. Do you really think I was overcharging the Karats? You canÆt lower your price and expect the same quality. And now I hear people are complaining that Karat foie gras isnÆt what it used to be. Big surprise!ö

ôCan I ask you where you were two nights ago, Zak?ö

ôRight here at the farm. Even though itÆs not the same operation it used to be, I still have my customers, and I still put in a lot of hours to keep them happy.ö

Odelia gave me and Dooley a surreptitious nod of the head, and so we trod off, looking for witnesses who could verify ZakÆs statement.

We found plenty of those in the stable, and when we approached the first one, it struck me how much happier ZakÆs ducks looked compared to MerleÆs.

ôThese ducks look so happy, Max,ö said Dooley, apparently having forgotten he wasnÆt speaking to me anymore.

ôThatÆs because they get to roam around freely,ö I said. ôInstead of being boxed up in a small cage like at the other place.ö

ôHi, Mr. Duck,ö said Dooley, addressing the first duck whoÆd give us the time of day. The others were all still tucking into the slop Zak had fed them. ôCan we ask you a couple of questions, please?ö

ôOh, absolutely,ö said the duck, approaching us with a kindly expression on his face. ôAsk away.ö

ôDo you like it here, sir?ö asked Dooley. Not exactly a question I would have asked, but since Odelia and Chase were still deep in conversation with the duck farmer, we had plenty of time to get to the nub of our query.

ôOh, sure,ö said the duck. ôWhatÆs not to like? I have all my friends here, plenty of food, fresh air, and Zak is such a great guy. He treats us like family, you know.ö

ôButà you do know what kind of place this is, donÆt you?ö said Dooley delicately.

The duck laughed at this.ôYou mean, at the end of the ride we get to go the way of the dodo?ö

ôWell, yes,ö said Dooley.

ôI know, sweet cheeks,ö said the duck. ôBut only when weÆre good and ready to go.ö

ôSoà you get to live a long life here?ö asked Dooley, perking up.

ôOf course! We donÆt have to go before our time, young æun. And thatÆs what makes this place special. And also, we get to spend plenty of time outsideùout of this stable.ö

We both glanced to the grassy meadows nearby, and saw ducks waddling around there, and even spend time in the pond. Not a bad way to live, all in all.

ôSomeone recently advised me to become a vegetarian,ö said Dooley, giving me a bit of side-eye at this point, and causing me to roll my own eyes in exasperation. ôBut then someone else told me this is a bad idea, since cats arenÆt supposed to be vegetarians.ö

ôOh, sweetie, who tricked you into believing cats can be vegetarians!ö

Dooley turned a baleful eye on me.

ôIt wasnÆt me!ö I cried.

ôWhat do you eat, Mr. Duck?ö

ôJust call me Dave,ö said the duck. ôWell, I eat most everything. Fish eggs, small fish, worms, snails, insects, frogs, slugs, tadpoles, mollusksàö He smiled. ôIÆm not choosy.ö

ôSo theyÆre not force-feeding you?ö I asked.

ôMost certainly not! Imagine that!ö

ôMost foie gras is produced by shoving a pipe down a duckÆs throat and overfeeding them,ö I pointed out.

ôThatÆs just gross!ö Dave cried. ôNo, Zak doesnÆt do that, thank God.ö

We turned to Zak. Looked like he was one of the good guys.

ôOkay, so this is important, Dave,ö I said. ôWhere was Zak two nights ago?ö

ôWell, right here, of course,ö said Dave. ôMucking out the stables as usual.ö

ôThatÆs great news,ö said Dooley. ôThat means that Zak didnÆt kill Eric.ö

ôWhoÆs Eric?ö

ôHeÆs a man who was killed over in another duck farm,ö I explained.

ôBad business, huh? You wonÆt find that kind of thing going on here.ö

And then he went off foraging some more food. That liver didnÆt feed itself.

WeÆd joined Odelia again when all of a sudden a familiar figure walked in. It was none other thanà Ebony Pilay!

ôHey, honey,ö the supermodel said, teetering on high heels and sidestepping a piece of duck dung. She pressed a quick kiss to ZakÆs cheek and gave Odelia and Chase a look of amusement. ôWhatÆs wrong, detective? You look like youÆve seen a ghost.ö

ôYou two know each other?ö asked Chase.

ôEbony is my ex-wife,ö Zak explained. ôThough weÆre just friends now.ö

Chase had to reel in his jaw. Now this was a development he hadnÆt expected.

Chapter 29

ôWhen-when did you say you divorced?ö asked Chase, still trying to collect himself.

ôI didnÆt say,ö said Ebony with a smile. ôYouÆre surprised that a duck farmer would marry a model, is that it?ö

ôWellà yes,ö Chase admitted.

ôItÆs not that hard to imagine. Zak is a very sweet man, and I wasnÆt always a model.ö

It was a little hard to see the attraction. Then again, Zak did have a sort of rugged charm, I guess. And even though his face was weather-beaten, he was probably younger than what weÆd pegged him. Perhaps he was even EbonyÆs age, since she was probably older than she looked.

ôWe divorced about ten years ago,ö said Zak, ôbut weÆve stayed friends, which canÆt be said about all couples, I guess.ö He smiled at his former wife. ôEbony wanted to pursue a different path from being a duck farmerÆs wife, and even though I was as sore as a gumboil at the time, I can see now that she made the right decision. She did well for herself.ö

ôWell!ö said Ebony with a laugh. ôThatÆs probably the understatement of the century.ö

ôOkay, so you did very well,ö Zak amended his earlier statement.

ôSo let me get this straight,ö said Chase. ôFirst Cotton Karat stole your wife, and then he canceled your contract? You must hate that man a lot, Mr. Lemanowicz.ö

ôI only met Cotton a couple of months ago,ö said Ebony, ôso Cotton didnÆt æstealÆ me from anyone. But that contractà that did rankle, didnÆt it?ö

ôI already admitted I was unhappy about that,ö Zak grumbled. ôBut to murder a man over a contract, thatÆs taking things too far.ö

ôZak is not a killer, detective. In fact the man couldnÆt hurt a fly.ö

ôHe does treat his ducks very well,ö Dooley piped up.

Odelia smiled down in our direction.ôWeÆll check your alibi,ö she said, ôbut from where IÆm standing IÆm inclined to believe you, Zak.ö

Chase had picked up on the interaction between his wife and her cats, and he emitted a small groan of frustration. Another person who had looked so good for the murder, and another alibi that seemed rock solid.

ôYou and Cotton, thatÆs definitely over?ö asked Odelia now.

Ebony grinned.ôIs this also part of the inquiry, Mrs. Kingsley?ö

ôNo, this is purely for my own interest,ö Odelia admitted.

ôYeah, weÆre over. He called me this morning, said it wasnÆt him who sent me that text, but even so, these last couple of days have taught me that Cotton isnÆt the man for me. The guy is a womanizer of the purest water. And even though all we did was have some fun, IÆm starting to see that maybe IÆm too old for that kind of thing.ö She gave her ex-husband an affectionate look. ôSometimes it takes losing something before you realize how important it was to you all along.ö

ôLooks like they might get back together again, Max,ö said Dooley, once again having forgotten all about the grudge he was harboring toward me. ôIsnÆt that sweet?ö

ôThe supermodel and the duck farmer. Almost sounds like a Hallmark romance,ö I said.

And since there was nothing more for us to learn there, we repaired to the car.

ôAnd maybe heÆll even get his contract with the Karat Group back,ö Dooley pointed out.

ôGetting his wife back and his contract. ItÆs a good day for Zak Lemanowicz,ö I said as we climbed onto the backseat.

Moments later, we were cruising along.ôSo what now?ö asked Odelia.

ôNow I donÆt know anymore,ö said Chase. ôZak obviously alibied out. And same thing goes for Elvis Diamond. Both of those alibis sussed out by your cats, I might add.ö

ôWhatever it takes to get to the truthàö She thought for a moment. ôDid you ever find out how Eric Blandine was lured to the farm?ö

ôNope. Nothing on his phone, computerà Also no fingerprints on the package containing his liver, or the tin, or even on the card.ö

ôThis is turning into a tough case, Mr. Kingsley.ö

ôIt most certainly is, Mrs. Kingsley.ö He then dropped his gaze down to his wifeÆs belly. ôHow are you feeling? IsnÆt this too stressful for you?ö

ôIÆm fine, Chase!ö

ôAll right, all right.ö

ôHow is the baby bump?ö asked Dooley curiously, inserting himself between the two car seats to take a gander.

ôThe bump is fine,ö said Odelia with a satisfied smile as she affectionately rubbed said bump.

ôDo you think the baby is going to be a vegetarian?ö

Odelia chuckled.ôOh, Dooley. What kind of a question is that?ö

ôJust curious. Are babies carnivores, herbivores or omnivores?ö

ôOmnivores, I guess, like the rest of the human race.ö

ôIÆve stopped being a vegetarian,ö said Dooley.

ôThatÆs good news,ö said Odelia, closing her eyes for a moment.

ôMax advised me to become a vegetarian but Pris told me I could die.ö

ôMax never told you to become a vegetarian, Dooley,ö said Odelia. ôYou came up with that silly idea all by yourself. In fact Max told you that you shouldnÆt become a vegetarian.ö

Dooley frowned.ôHe did?ö

ôOf course. Max is your friend. He doesnÆt want you to die.ö

ôHe doesnÆt?ö

ôOf course not. Who is this Pris, anyway?ö

ôElvis DiamondÆs cat Priscilla.ö

ôSheÆs been feeding you a lot of nonsense, Dooley.ö

ôOh?ö

ôSome women are like that. They try to come between you and your best friends. They probably think it will tie you closer to them, which is nonsense, of course. All it does is alienate you from your friends and youÆll end up resenting the person responsible.ö

ôOh,ö Dooley repeated, as he darted a quick look in my direction.

ôSounds like your Pris is exactly such a person.ö

ôOkay. Thanks for the warning.ö

ôYouÆre welcome.ö She turned to me. ôHave you figured it out yet, Max? Cause weÆre at the end of our rope here, as you can probably see.ö

ôNo, IÆm afraid the whole thing is still a mystery to me.ö

ôThought so,ö she muttered. ôWell, donÆt let me keep you. Work that big brain of yours, will you? Cause this entire case looks just about ready to fall apart around us.ö

Just then, her phone chimed, telling her a message had arrived. She took it out and stared at the message. It was a video, which started playing the moment she clicked on it.

ôOh, my God!ö she cried. ôPull over!ö

Chase pulled over, and together they watched the video. Judging from the sounds, it was something really gruesome connected to ducks, though Odelia shielded her phone so we couldnÆt see.

ôTrust me,ö she said finally. ôItÆs better that you donÆt see.ö

ôThereÆs a message,ö said Chase.

ôæCheck Lita FiolÆs phone,Æö Odelia read.

ôI knew it!ö said Chase. ôTheyÆve been lying to us from the start!ö

He immediately started the car again, and moments later we were zooming along, this time in the direction of the shop where Lita worked.

Chapter 30

Miss Fiol was behind the counter when we arrived. Chase wasted no time demanding to see her phone, and in spite of her protestations, went through her files until he found it. He then held up the phone for her to see, and the same video was played.

Her cheeks colored violently and she had to avert her eyes. Clearly the video affected her powerfully.ôI got that vile thing a couple of days ago. Evidence that Merle Poltorak is a vicious butcher. Nothing less than a criminal. The way he treats those poor animalsàö

ôSo you decided to teach him a lesson, didnÆt you? Him and Cotton Karat both. Somehow you lured the man you thought was Cotton to the farm and killed him there on the spot. Were you alone or was a member of your group there to help you set it up?ö

ôBut I didnÆtùI couldnÆt!ö

He was leaning over her now, his bulk crowding her as she cowered.ôAdmit it, Lita. You murdered Eric Blandine in cold blood, as a message for Merle and his main suppliers: the Karat Group.ö

ôYouÆre crazy! I was with Tobias that night. I already told you.ö

ôYouÆre lying, and so is Tobias. What did you tell him? That you needed him to supply you with an alibi? What lies did you feed him, Litaùor are the two of you in it together?ö

ôOf course not!ö

ôTobias needed to get rid of Cotton one way or another. HeÆs been scheming behind the manÆs back. And murdering his replacement would send a strong message to Diedrich and to Cotton both: time to bail out while you still can. Time for a new man at the helm.ö

ôLook, I admit I was furious when I received the video, but instead of going out and murdering the man, I talked to Tobias. Asked him to drop Merle as a supplier. Go back to Zak Lemanowicz. He has perfected a production process that is absolutely humane.ö

ôOh, save it,ö said Chase harshly. ôLita Fiol, youÆre under arrest for the murder of Eric Blandine. You have the right to remain silentàö

A woman approached the counter. I recognized her from the last time weÆd been in there. She was holding up a piece of tofu. ôCan you tell me if thereÆs fish in this, miss?ö

ôShop is closed,ö said Chase gruffly, and then escorted Lita from the premises.

I glanced up at Odelia.ôDo you really think that sheÆs guilty?ö I asked.

Odelia shrugged.ôHonestly? I donÆt know anymore, Max.ö

We all went down to the station, where Lita was to be booked and fingerprinted, and interrogated more thoroughly by Chase. And since Chase had taken the car to transfer his arrestee, the rest of us walked the short distance from the Happy Bean to the precinct.

ôMax?ö said Dooley finally, after weÆd traveled a block and a half in silence.

ôMh?ö I said.

ôIÆm sorry.ö

ôSorry for what?ö

IÆd been thinking hard about this most startling development in the case, and DooleyÆs words took me out of my musings.

ôThat I thought you wanted to kill me by turning me into a vegetarian.ö

I smiled. It sounded ridiculous when he said it like that.ôThatÆs all right.ö

ôNo, itÆs not all right. I let myself be turned against you by a scheming cat. ItÆs not okay.ö

ôDonÆt be too hard on yourself, Dooley. What Pris said all sounded very plausible.ö

ôI know, but stillàö He was quiet for a few moments, then seemed to come to some kind of decision. ôI want you to accept my resignation, Max.ö

ôWhat are you talking about?ö

ôMy resignation as your best friend. I behaved in a way no best friend should, and so I think you should find another cat to fill the position because I resign. In disgrace,ö he added, hanging his head.

ôBeing a friend is not like being a CEO, Dooley. You canÆt resign or even be fired.ö

He looked up at this.ôYou canÆt?ö

ôOf course not. YouÆre my best friend becauseà well, just because you are.ö

ôSoà I canÆt be fired for bad behavior like Cotton Karat?ö

ôNo, absolutely not. I can be upset with you for bad behavior, just like you can be upset with me if I behave badly, but I canÆt fire you, and you canÆt fire me.ö

ôSo youÆre upset with me, arenÆt you?ö he said with a sad look.

ôI was a little bit upset,ö I admitted. ôBut IÆm fine now.ö

ôOh, Maxùcan you ever forgive me?ö

ôNothing to forgive,ö I said magnanimously and with a broad smile.

ôNot even for calling you obese?ö

My smile faltered somewhat.ôHow many times, Dooley! IÆm not obese!ö

Now it was his turn to smile.ôI knew it. You still love me, donÆt you? Otherwise you wouldnÆt get mad with me.ö And to show me he meant what he said, he gave me a tight hug that almost choked me. Not to mention that he did it in full view of the whole street, which contained a lot of our feline friends, who all smirkedwhen they saw this public display of affection!

ôAll right, all right!ö I said finally, as I tried to wriggle myself out of his embrace.

ôIÆm so glad weÆre friends again, Max,ö he said as he practically skipped beside me.

ôMe, too,ö I said.

ôI wonÆt let any woman come between us again.ö

ôMind that you donÆt.ö

ôThough she was pretty, wasnÆt she, Pris?ö

ôVery pretty,ö I agreed.

ôToo bad she lives with that investor. HeÆs a cold one, Max. Only thing that matters to him is his bottom.ö

ôBottom line, you mean.ö

ôNo, Pris told me that Elvis is very concerned with his bottom. Studies it in the mirror all the time, and does all kinds of exercises to make it look as tight as possible.ö

I suppressed a shiver. Imagine having to live with a man who wonÆt let you out of the apartment, and is obsessed with his own bottom. No wonder Pris was the way she was.

ôSo the case is closed now, is it?ö

ôYeah, I guess it is.ö

He studied me for a moment.ôThen why do you look so sad, Max?ö

ôI donÆt look sad.ö

ôYes, you do. ItÆs not that youÆre still angry with me, are you?ö

ôNo, Dooley. IÆm not still angry with you. But I am not fully convinced that Lita is Eric BlandineÆs killer, thatÆs for sure.ö

ôSo weÆll just keep on looking, shall we?ö

I smiled.ôYou okay with that, buddy?ö

ôAbsolutely. ItÆs what I like best, you know.ö

ôWhat is?ö

ôThis! Sleuthing together.ö

I have to admit his words touched a chord.

How could they not? ItÆs what I like best, too.

Chapter 31

That evening, Gran was in charge of the cooking for a change. We were all gathered in Marge and TexÆs backyard, the entire family seated around the big table, but when the food finally came out, instead of shiny eyes and happy faces, mouths sagged and mutterings of disappointment could be heard. Not too loud, mind you, since Gran doesnÆt take criticism well.

ôWhatÆs this?ö asked Scarlett as she stared into her dish.

ôTofu,ö said Gran proudly.

ôIt looks like a piece of cardboard,ö said Scarlett, whoÆs probably the only person in the world whoÆs not afraid of GranÆs acerbic wit. ôAnd whatÆs that white goo?ö

ôThatÆs tofu sauce.ö

ôIt looks like paint.ö She took a bite. ôIt also tastes like paint.ö

ôAnd how would you know what paint tastes like?ö

ôI know it tastes like crap, and thatÆs exactly what this is. What happened to the roast beef you promised me?ö

ôMeat is murder, Scarlett. WeÆre all vegetarians from now on.ö

ôYou may be a vegetarian, but IÆm not.ö

ôSo you want to keep murdering the planet, do you?ö

ôNo, but I do want some regular food.ö She pushed her plate away. ôAnd this is not it.ö

ôOh, you ungratefulùö

But Scarlett held up her hand.ôSave it, Vesta. We both know youÆre not the one who supplied this spread. For that we have Marge and Tex to thank. And what a waste of money it was.ö She smiled a gracious smile to her hosts, who sat looking a little stiff and frosty, and jabbed at their meal with expressions that told all. Even Uncle Alec and Charlene Butterwick were uncharacteristically quiet while the tofu war raged on.

For a moment, Gran and Scarlett continued to be locked in a staring contest, then finally Gran relented.ôMaybe youÆre right,ö she said. ôIt does taste like cardboard, doesnÆt it? I bought it yesterday at LitaÆs store, and once I bought it, it seemed like a pity to throw it out.ö

ôThereÆs nothing wrong with tofu,ö finally said Marge. ôItÆs the way you prepare it that makes all the difference. She got up and started collecting plates. ôNow why donÆt you let me give it a try?ö

ôWould you?ö asked Gran, almost piteously. ôI donÆt know what happened but I just canÆt seem to make it edible.ö

ôCome on, Ma,ö said Marge. ôLetÆs give it our best shot.ö

And they both disappeared into the house.

Uncle Alec visibly relaxed, and so did the others. The prospect of having to eat the inedible and pretend to like it is probably beyond any human, or every living creature, for that matter. I had to confess that when Gran dumped a piece of tofu into my bowl, I gave it one sniff and gave up.

ôItÆs just fermented soybeans, Max,ö said Harriet. ôItÆs not poison or something.ö

ôI donÆt like soybeans,ö I told her. ôFermented or otherwise.ö

ôSo I hear Chase arrested Lita?ö said Brutus. He sounded happy about it.

ôYeah, someone sent Odelia a video of ducks being manhandled, and the same video was sent to Lita a couple of days ago, so now Chase is convinced it set her off on a murder spree.ö

ôYou donÆt look convinced?ö

ôThatÆs because IÆm not.ö

ôI wonder who sent that video to Odelia,ö said Dooley.

ôIt was sent from an anonymous number. Untraceable.ö

ôMaybe the same person who lured Eric Blandine to his death?ö

I gave my friend a nod.ôThatÆs exactly what I thought.ö

ôSo someone is framing Lita?ö Harriet asked.

ôYes, it certainly looks that way.ö

ôPity,ö said Brutus. ôThat woman is a menace.ö

ôShe is a danger to any cat that roams these streets,ö Harriet agreed.

ôBut that doesnÆt make her a murderer, does it?ö I said.

Finally Marge and Gran came out of the house with steaming plates of food, and this time the experiment proved a success, for the human contingent all tucked in eagerly.

Lucky for us, we didnÆt get to partake in the bucolic feast. Instead, Odelia slipped us some delicious chicken. It might not be kosher, but what can you do? It tastes so good.

[╩α≡≥ΦφΩα: img_2]

Later that evening, I decided to wander into town. I had to think, and a nice walk would do me good. Also, Kingman frequently has the best food in town. His human runs the General Store, and keeps KingmanÆs bowl filled to capacity at all times. He gets his stuff from his suppliersùsometimes excellent, sometimes not so much. Like the lottery, you simply have to throw the dice and hope youÆre in luck.

We were in luck that night, and the kibble that Kingman gladly shared was wonderful.

ôWhere have you guys been all day?ö asked our friend. ôWilbur is complaining that I donÆt eat enough.ö He patted his impressive belly. ôBut if I eat any more IÆll simply burst!ö

ôDo you have big bones, too, Kingman?ö asked Dooley.

Kingman grinned.ôAbsolutely. Big bones, thatÆs me.ö

I saw that Wilbur was chatting with a woman. The shop was supposed to be closed, but Wilbur likes to keep it open longer sometimes for special customers.

ôDoes Wilbur have a new girlfriend?ö I asked, eyeing the woman with interest.

ôNah. TheyÆre just friends. Though Wilbur wouldnÆt mind getting to know her a little better, if you ask me.ö

ôDo you think Wilbur will ever get married and settle down, Kingman?ö asked Dooley.

ôWhat are you talking about? The guy is old. Too old to have kids. And besides, why marry? WeÆve got a pretty great thing going here, me and Wilbur. WeÆre like those guys in that movie. WhatÆs it calledùTheOdd Couple.ö

I had to smile at that.ôSo whoÆs Walter Matthau and whoÆs Jack Lemmon?ö

ôWilburÆs Jack, of course. Neurotic neat freak. And IÆm a happy-go-lucky kind of cat, so I must be Walter.ö

ôYeah, I can see that,ö I said. The woman had left, and Wilbur grabbed a chair and came out to sit with us.

ôNice evening, fellas,ö he said. ôFeels like a night for love.ö

ôSo donÆt you think Wilbur will ever get married?ö asked Dooley.

ôI doubt it, Dooley,ö said Kingman. ôAfter all these years, the man is set in his ways, you know. Having a woman enter the picture is going to be hard for him. Someone telling him what to do, what to eat, where to sit, how to set the table and what to watch on television. ItÆs going to be impossible. Wilbur is more like a cat than a dog: hard to train.ö

ôSo no wedding bells for Wilbur,ö I concluded.

Something Kingman said resonated with me, though at the moment I couldnÆt really put my finger on it. Not yet, at least. I decided to let it go for now. It would come to me.

ôI wish I could understand what you guys talk about,ö said Wilbur. ôLike Vesta, you know. Or Odelia or Marge. You think they could teach me?ö

We all stared at the man.ôYou know about the big secret?ö I asked. But of course Wilbur simply stared blankly back at me, then grinned.

ôSee? You just said something important, I can tell. And now youÆre expecting an answer from me. But IÆm sorry, little buddy. I canÆt help you there.ö

ôI think a lot of people know about your big secret, Max,ö said Kingman with a shrug. ôItÆs a small town, you know. People talk.ö

ôWell, I hope Wilbur keeps it to himself.ö

ôAnd even if he doesnÆtùwhoÆs going to believe him?ö

Kingman had a point, of course. Who would believe a story like that?

ôHey, pretty lady,ö said Wilbur, and when I looked up I saw he was talking to Gran.

ôCan you help me out, Wilbur?ö asked Gran. ôIÆm dying for a piece of sausage.ö

WilburÆs eyes went wide. ôAbsolutely. My place or yours?ö

ôNot that kind of sausage, you pervert,ö Gran grunted. ôA real one.ö

ôOh,ö said Wilbur, sagging a little. ôYeah, take your pick,ö he said. ôPay me later.ö

Gran disappeared into the store, and moments later returned with a nice big sausage. She was already digging her teeth into the delicacy and drew up a chair and joined us.

ôNice night,ö Wilbur commented.

ôMh,ö said Gran, busy with her mastication.

ôSo you ran out of food, huh? Forgot to do your shopping?ö

ôI decided my family are going to be vegetarians,ö Gran explained.

ôOh? Interesting choice.ö

ôSo I got rid of all meat products and stocked up on vegetarian stuff.ö She sighed. ôMarge is going to kill me when she finds out. And so is Texùand Odelia and Chase.ö

ôYou chucked out their meat products as well?ö asked Wilbur with a chuckle.

ôOf course! You gotta eliminate temptation. ThatÆs the whole point of the exercise.ö

ôI bet you forgot to tell them about that?ö

ôYeah, maybe I should have mentioned something.ö

ôYou think?ö Wilbur asked, and guffawed loudly.

But then Gran hit him with her sausage and that was that.

ItÆs hard to argue with a big fat sausage when it hits you right on the noggin.

Chapter 32

KingmanÆs comments had given me some food for thought. And so the moment we returned home, I enlisted Harriet and BrutusÆs assistance once more to help me follow a hunch. It took a little while to convince the twosome, though. They seemed to think I was leading them straight into the Duck Liberation FrontÆs den again, subjecting them to a potentially dangerous situation once more.

ôAll IÆm asking is to look through EricÆs study,ö I explained. ôChances are that weÆll find a second phone, or his laptop or whatever. The killer must have contacted him somehow, and we need to figure out how and who was behind that message.ö

ôBut they already checked his phone, Max,ö said Harriet, who is no fool.

ôAnd his laptop,ö Brutus added. ôAnd they found nothing. Zip. Zilch. Zero.ö

ôYes, yes, yes, I know,ö I said with a touch of impatience. ôBut there has to be something we can do.ö

ôMaybe the killer erased the message from EricÆs phone after he killed him?ö Dooley suggested.

ôThey checked with EricÆs provider,ö I said. ôSo if a message was deleted it would have been found. No, there has to be another phoneùitÆs the only possibility. Or a second computer.ö

ôSo why donÆt you tell Chase so he can organize a search of the house?ö asked Brutus. ôItÆs what he does best. Chase loves to get warrants and search peopleÆs houses. ItÆs one of the perks of his job as a cop. Snooping around in places other people donÆt have access to.ö

ôJust trust me, okay? CanÆt you simply trust me for once?ö I said.

ôThe last time we trusted you we were almost killed by a group of rabid duck fans,ö Harriet pointed out. ôSo excuse us for not leaping when you tell us to jump, Max.ö

ôOkay, fine,ö I said finally. ôIÆll just do it myself then.ö And I stomped off in the direction of the cat flap. If they werenÆt going to assist me, IÆd just have to fly solo on this one.

But I hadnÆt even entered the backyard when I heard the cat flap flap again. When I glanced back with a smile, I saw that Dooley was hurrying to catch up with me. ôWait, Max,ö he said. ôWeÆre an odd couple, and you canÆt just go off without your better half.ö

ôThanks, Dooley,ö I said, touched by this display of loyalty. I waited for a moment, fully expecting Harriet and Brutus to join us, too, but when the seconds ticked by and the cat flap stayed still, not even flapping in the breeze, I steeled my resolve and Dooley and I wended our way toward thehouse where Eric Blandine had lived before he was killed.

ôYou have to understand, Max,ö said Dooley. ôHarriet and Brutus were almost killed out there. TheyÆre still recovering from the ordeal. TheyÆre not used to being hunted down by rabid duck people. It was a very traumatizing experience for them.ö

ôThey were never in any real danger,ö I grumbled, not hiding my disappointment with our friendsÆ behavior. ôGran and Scarlett were there. They would have protected them from that frenzied mob. And besides, they might be duck fans, but they wouldnÆt hurt us.ö

ôAccording to Harriet and Brutus they were pretty upset, Max. If theyÆd had pitchforks and torches they would have used them, no doubt about it. Gran said they are rascalized.ö

ôYou mean radicalized?ö

ôShe said they value the life of a duck over the lives of other living creatures.ö

ôThat may well be true, but that doesnÆt explain why Harriet and Brutus would desert us.ö

It took us all of half an hour to reach the Blandine place. IÆd hoped for easy access to the premises, but when weÆd toured the house once, it became obvious there was no pet flap, no open windows on the ground floor, and no basement windows either. In other words: they werenÆt making it easy for us to carry out our investigation.

ôUp there, Max,ö Dooley whispered, gesturing to an open window on the second floor.

The window definitely had potential, but how to get up there? Luckily for us Mr. Blandine had planted a sapling once upon a time, which had grown into a sizable tree. Now IÆm not a big fan of the art of climbing trees, since IÆve had my share of close encounters with firefighters having to come to my assistance after I happened to get stuck in one, but this seemed to be the only way to carry out our nocturnal mission.

And so we went for it. First Dooley made his way up the tree, by digging his claws into the soft bark, followed by yours truly. And then it was a simple matter of balancing on a sturdy branch, hopping to the windowsill, and sneaking in.

We found ourselves in what looked like a spare bedroom, with an unmade bed and plenty of boxes piled up high. In the corner an ironing board stood, as well as a desk, but when we subjected the latter to a closer scrutiny, we found no trace of a laptop, phone, tablet or any other electronic device.

But we werenÆt as easily defeated as this, and so we snuck out into the corridor, fully prepared to expand our search to the rest of the house.

And thatÆs when we heard it: sounds of lovemaking were coming from one of the other rooms.

Dooley and I froze and shared a look of surprise. When traipsing along in the house of a woman whoÆs just lost her husband to a terrible crime, the last thing one expects is the sound of a couple making love.

ôProbably the television,ö Dooley opined.

ôYeah, probably,ö I agreed.

Now I know we should have proceeded in the opposite direction of those sounds, since only trouble could come from investigating the matter further, but then cats will be cats, and my sense of curiosity was thusly tickled that I simply had to know what was going on. Of course different people react differently to grief, but this was one method of coping with the loss of a beloved spouse that I hadnÆt read about inCosmopolitan orGood Housekeeping. Even to Dr. Phil this was probably a novel approach to the agony of bereavement.

And so we found ourselves tiptoeing in the direction of the source of those sounds. A woman was moaning, a man was groaning, a mattress was squeaking and bed boards were slapping against the wall in a manner which signaled an explosion of hot passion.

My cheeks were burning underneath my fur, and from the worried glances Dooley shot in my direction as we crept ever closer to what was most probably the master bedroom, I could tell that he was as concerned with what weÆd find as I was.

ôWe have to stop them, Max,ö he whispered now. ôOr call the police!ö

ôWhy?ö I asked. ôAs far as I know thereÆs no law against this.ö

ôHeÆs murdering her, Max! Or sheÆs murdering him!ö

It is of course hard to distinguish between the sounds of a couple engaged in an act of carnality and a couple trying to murder each other. Both share certain similarities, but I think IÆm an old hand at recognizing the difference. Our humans are, after all, a recently married couple, and even though I prefer not to be present when theyÆre consummating their sacred bond, IÆve heard enough to know that this was not an act of murder but love.

So I pushed open the door to the bedroom, tiptoed around the bed, and gasped in shock at what my keen eyes observed.

Maisie Blandine was in bed with her brother-in-law Fabrizio Blandine, and they werenÆt playing a game of Scrabble!

Unfortunately for us, Dooley wasnÆt as skilled at keeping his surprise to himself, for when he caught a good look at the surprising couple, he squealed with sincere shock.

Maisie practically jumped to the ceiling, and so did Fabrizio, and the moment theyÆd switched on the light, both Dooley and myself found ourselves simply sitting there and staringùlike a pair of deer in the headlights!

Big mistake.

ôAaaaargh!ö Maisie screamed.

ôCats!ö Fabrizio hollered, as if we were the ultimate horror.

And then they were crawling out of bed and grabbing for anything they could find to throw at us!

Now the sight of humans in a state of undress is terrible enough in the best of times, but when they have murder on their minds, as these two clearly had, itÆs much, much worse!

Humans, you see, are not covered in fur, like cats are. While our physique is nicely concealed, providing an excellent esthetic, they have all their dangly stuff on full display.

Talk about a horror movie!

So Dooley and I screamed probably as loud or even louder than this twosome, and then made a beeline for the open window where we planned to make our speedy escape.

Unfortunately the Blandines had other plans. While Mr. Blandine cut off our avenue of escape, Mrs. Blandine had found a broom with which she seemed intent on hitting us where it hurt. Moments later, she had us cornered, and things looked very bleak indeed! It wasnÆt helped by the sight of all of her wobbly bits jiggling and joggling like crazy!

ôMax! Over here!ö suddenly a voice rang out. I looked past Maisie Blandine, still brandishing her broom, and sawà Brutus!

And then our friend let rip the most terrifying growl IÆve ever heard in my entire life!

It sounded like a mixture of a wolf and a lion, and had a profound effect on Maisie.

She whirled around and hollered,ôFabrizio! ThereÆs another one over there!ö

ôItÆs a cat infestation!ö Fabrizio cried, grabbing his hair in clear distress.

To the left of him, suddenly Harriet materialized, and she let out a caterwaul louder even than BrutusÆs war cry! Between the two of them, they produced the kind of noise that could inspire Stephen King to write a dozen novels and adapt them into movies, too.

With Maisie and Fabrizio on their toes, Dooley and I managed to reach the window, and as we watched, Harriet and Brutus beat a strategic retreat, the humans in the room too stunned now to mount an effective defense against this attack of the feline brigade.

Moments later we had all hopped it to the soft grassy lawn below, and ran as fast as our paws could carry us. We only stopped to catch our breath three backyards down the road, and I couldnÆt help but give both Harriet and Brutus a look of intense gratitude.

ôYou saved our lives,ö I said, panting heavily. ôWithout you guys we would have been caught!ö

ôYeah, they had us cornered,ö said Dooley.

ôWhy didnÆt you wait for us?ö Harriet asked, slightly peeved.

ôWhat do you mean?ö I said. ôI thought you didnÆt want to come.ö

ôOf course we wanted to come. But first I wanted a bite to eat,ö said Brutus.

ôAnd I needed to tinkle,ö said Harriet. ôNever leave home without a tinkle.ö

I slapped my brow.ôI thought you were afraid to head out so soon after that suicide mission with the duck people.ö

Harriet gave me a smile.ôMax, havenÆt you learned anything? Brutus and I will always have your back, no matter what.ö

ôYeah, we like to bitch and moan, but at the end of the day weÆre there for you,ö Brutus chimed in.

I have to say their words brought tears to my eyes. Though it could have been the close escape weÆd just had that made me uncharacteristically emotional all of a sudden.

ôDust in my eye,ö I murmured.

ôOh, Maxie baby,ö said Brutus, and actually gave me a hug!

ôSo what have we learned?ö asked Harriet.

ôThat Maisie and Fabrizio are having an affair,ö I said.

ôUnited in their grief, they must have found each other,ö said Dooley.

Somehow I had my doubts about that. But it did confirm a suspicion I had.

Which meant we hadnÆt risked life and limb for nothing. At least I hoped we hadnÆt!

Chapter 33

Chase wasted no time. The sun wasnÆt even up yet when an impressive contingent of police officers surrounded the house where Maisie Blandine lived. FabrizioÆs car was still parked in the driveway, so the bird hadnÆt yet flown the nest.

When the door opened and Maisie appeared, looking a little bleary-eyed and with a nightgown wrapped around herself, she blinked and said,ôWhatÆs going on?ö

Chase held up a piece of paper and said,ôThis is a warrant to search the premises, Mrs. Blandine. Are you alone in the house?ö

ôUmàö

Behind her, Fabrizio now also appeared, looking equally knackered. You canÆt spend half the night doing the horizontal mambo and the rest chasing a small contingent of feline intruders and not expect to feel the strain.

ôWhatÆs all this?ö asked Fabrizio.

ôHave you moved in with your sister-in-law, sir?ö asked Chase.

ôOf course not. What kind of a question is that?ö Fabrizio blustered.

ôFabrizio and I stayed up late, planning my husbandÆs funeral,ö said Maisie, having recovered from the surprise of finding Chase on her doorstep. ôAnd since it was late by the time we finished, he decided to stay over.ö

ôAnd before you jump to any conclusions, I slept in the spare bedroom,ö said Fabrizio.

ôOf course you did,ö said Chase, and stepped past the unlikely couple. About a dozen more cops followed in his footsteps, and while two officers kept a close eye on Maisie and Fabrizio, the rest all fanned out and started searching the house top to bottom.

ôNow this is what I had in mind,ö I told Dooley, ôbut before you can search a place, you need to have a good reason. Or in police parlance, probable cause.ö

ôAnd does Chase have a good reason now?ö asked my friend.

ôLetÆs wait and see,ö I said, and stretched out on the front lawn next to the boxwood while the search was in progress. There wasnÆt anything we could do, after all, and another close encounter with Maisie and Fabrizio was the last thing either of us wanted.

Odelia had also driven up, and now joined the search. SheÆd brought Harriet and Brutus, and the four of us settled in for a long wait.

As the sun pulled on its big-girl pants and painted the world in a roseate hue, neighbors up and down the street came out of their houses to take in all the police activity, and before long, spectators had gathered in front of the house, talking amongst themselves and speculating freely about what was going on here.

In other words: free entertainment for young and old.

Suddenly a voice upstairs called out,ôChief! Over here!ö

We all perked up at this, and so did the crowd, three deep now, all craning their necks to see what the upshot was of all this shouting. Judging from their expressions they fully expected some bloodied corpse to be carried out of the house at any moment.

Odelia now appeared in the door and beckoned us over.

And so we entered the house, a small procession of cats, and joined Chase and Odelia in the living room, along with Maisie and Fabrizio, who looked very antsy indeed.

ôI demand an explanation!ö said Fabrizio.

ôYou canÆt do this to me,ö said Maisie. ôI just lost my husband. I deserve some respect!ö

But instead of respect, Chase held up two mobile phones, both neatly sealed inside an evidence bag. At the sight of the phones, MaisieÆs face went a little pale, and so did FabrizioÆs.

ôI told you to get rid of those!ö Fabrizio snapped.

ôI was gonna! But with all these cops around, I couldnÆt!ö Maisie returned.

ôWeÆve checked the phones,ö said Chase, ôand found the message you sent to your husband on the evening of his murder. A message for him to meet you at the Poltorak farm.ö

ôSo? ItÆs not a crime to meet your husband,ö said Maisie, but she looked shifty now.

ôI think weÆll find your husbandÆs fingerprints on the other phone, which is the one you gave him, isnÆt it?ö

But Maisie pressed her lips together, and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

ôHereÆs what we think happened,ö said Odelia. ôYou and Fabrizio were having an affair, and you had been thinking about divorcing Eric for a while now. So when the offer came for Eric to replace Cotton Karat while he was in therapy for his sex addiction, you saw an opportunity to get rid of your husband, and get some money out of this deal, too.ö

ôYou knew that the Karats would do anything to avoid the whiff of scandal,ö Chase said as he placed the phones on the table in front of the duo, ôand so you hatched a brilliant scheme. You bought two phones so you and Eric could stay in touch when he assumed the role of Cotton, and told him to meet you that night out by the Poltorak duck farm. And since Eric always did what you told him to do, he dutifully showed up for the meeting.ö

ôWeÆre not exactly sure which one of you actually killed him,ö said Odelia. ôBut we think it was probably a joint effort. Eric had told you about the threats made against CottonÆs person by the Duck Liberation Front people, and so you made it look as if they were behind the murder. You killed your husband, cut out his liver and delivered it to the Karat Group headquarters with a note, claiming responsibility for the DLF.ö

ôA nice touch, I have to say,ö said Chase. ôIn fact the whole setup was brilliantly conceived and carried out.ö

ôWhich is when we come to the second part of your plan. You blamed the Karat Group for EricÆs death, accusing them of not keeping him safe, and threatened to take them to court, all the while knowing full well theyÆd settle out of court before that happened.ö

ôI talked to Tobias Pushman just now,ö said Chase, ôand he confirmed that he reached a settlement with you yesterday, for a total sum of three million dollars. Not a bad haul for a woman who set up and murdered her own husband, wouldnÆt you say, Maisie?ö

MaisieÆs face spelled storm now, and she was freely glowering at Chase and Odelia.

ôDonÆt say a word, Maisie,ö Fabrizio warned. ôTheyÆve got nothing on us. Nothing.ö

ôWeÆve got these phones,ö said Chase. ôThey prove that it was actually you who lured your husband to his death. They place you at the scene of the crime and not, as you claimed, here at the house. And then of course thereÆs this.ö And like a trained conjurer, he produced from behind hisback another plastic evidence bag, this one containing a long, serrated knife with a red handle. And if I wasnÆt mistaken, there was blood on the blade.

ôOh, God,ö said Fabrizio, as he buried his head in his hands.

ôI told you, I was waiting for these coppers to get off our backs!ö Maisie burst out.

ôStupid, stupid, stupid,ö Fabrizio moaned.

Suddenly MaisieÆs eye shifted to me and she frowned. ôHey,ö she said, pointing in my direction. ôThatÆs the same orange fatty that was in here last night!ö

At this, I drew myself up to my full height and said, rather haughtily, IÆm afraid, ôFor your information, my name isnÆt Fatty. ItÆs Max, and IÆm not orangeùIÆm blorange!ö

Chapter 34

ôEric Blandine was one of those people who wouldnÆt say boo to a goose,ö I said.

ôWhy would anyone want to say boo to a goose, Max?ö asked Dooley.

ôItÆs just an expression, Dooley. Nobody actually says boo to a goose.ö

ôI wouldnÆt mind saying boo to a goose,ö Brutus grunted. ôTeach them some manners.ö

Brutus had once been chased by a goose, and evidently the experience still rankled.

We were in Tex and MargeÆs backyard, where a party was in full swing. Ever since Gran had given up trying to force the vegetarian lifestyle on the rest of the family, it was almost as if the sun had come out and IÆd rarely seen the Pooles as happy as now.

ItÆs like wearing a pair of tight shoes: the moment you take them off, itÆs liberating.

ôSo Eric Blandine was a man who wouldnÆt say boo to a goose,ö Harriet reminded me.

ôYes, thank you,ö I said with a grateful smile in my friendÆs direction. ôSo when he suddenly decided to ignore the instructions Tobias Pushman had given him about keeping a low profile and showed up at Merle PoltorakÆs farm in the shank of the evening, there had to be a good reason. And that got me thinking about the manÆs psychology. Why would a man as meek as Eric Blandine ignore a direct order from a man who was basically his bossÆs boss? A man who ordered him not to show his face anywhere?ö

ôBecause his wife had told him to,ö said Harriet with a nod of satisfaction. ôSee, pookie? A good man always does what his girl tells him to.ö

ôAnd gets murdered in the process,ö Brutus muttered, earning himself a scowl from Harriet.

ôBut how had Maisie reached her husband? There were no messages on his phone, no emails, no phone calls. So it stood to reason that before sending him on his mission, she must have given him a secret phone so they could stay in touch throughout.ö

ôBut how did you know she hadnÆt dumped those phones?ö asked Brutus.

ôI didnÆt, obviously, but I was hoping she hadnÆt. And as it turned out, she hadnÆt gotten rid of the murder weapon either.ö

ôThat wasnÆt very smart of her,ö said Harriet. ôShe should have dumped the weapon on the night of the murder, and the phones.ö

ôShe didnÆt want to risk the knife or the phones being found,ö I said. ôSo she decided to keep them for now, until she could figure out a way to get rid of them for good. She never thought anyone would suspect either her or Fabrizio, so she felt pretty safe.ö

ôHow long do you think their affair had been going on?ö asked Harriet.

ôA couple of months at least, maybe even years. But as long as there was no financial incentive, they werenÆt too bothered to make things official. That all changed when Eric was asked to replace Cotton. Suddenly there was a good reason to get rid of the man.ö

ôThree million reasons, in fact,ö said Brutus, nodding.

ôWho do you think killed Eric?ö asked Harriet. ôMaisie or Fabrizio?ö

ôThey were in it together,ö I said. ôAs it turns out, Fabrizio used to work for a butcher in a distant past. An experience that came in handy now.ö

Dooley shivered.ôWhat a terrible duo,ö he said. ôImagine cutting out a manÆs liver.ö

ôYeah, it needed to be done that way to throw the police off their scent,ö I said. ôThough I very much doubt they took any enjoyment in the act of murder. But in the end the combination of love and money as a motive was simply too powerful to resist.ö

The sweet smell of grilled meat wafted in our direction, and my stomach juices immediately responded. The humans seemed eager to dig in, too, for they all sat casting anxious glances in TexÆs direction from time to time, satisfying themselves with some appetizers for now. Finally Uncle Alec couldnÆt take it anymore, and joined his brother-in-law at the grill, vouchsafing a steady flow of meaty treats later on.

ôSo whatÆs going to happen to the Karat Group?ö asked Charlene, popping an olive into her mouth. ôIs Cotton going to be in charge from now on or his brother Jared?ö

ôThey seem to have decided on a joint chairmanship,ö said Odelia. ôWith the necessary checks and balances in place so that Cotton doesnÆt mess things up again.ö

ôAnd Ebony Pilay?ö asked Marge. ôIs she still CottonÆs girlfriend?ö

ôEbony is out of the picture. Though a little birdie told me that Ebony and Zak Lemanowicz are dating again.ö

ôOh, how romantic,ö said Scarlett. ôThe supermodel and the pig farmer.ö

ôDuck farmer, Scarlett,ö said Gran. ôNot pigs.ö

ôDucks, pigs, same difference,ö said Scarlett.

ôI think you did a great job,ö said Charlene, addressing Odelia. ôAgain, I might add.ö

ôItÆs all Max,ö said Odelia. ôHeÆs the one who figured it out.ö

ôImagine that,ö Uncle Alec grunted. ôA cat who solves crime. If you told this to anyone they wouldnÆt believe it.ö

ôI believe it,ö said Charlene, throwing a smile in my direction. ôHeÆs a smart cookie, that cat of yours.ö

ôCats, plural,ö I corrected the Mayor. ôI couldnÆt have done it without my friends. Or Odelia and Chase, of course.ö

ôYeah, itÆs a team effort,ö said Gran. ôWe all chipped in this time. Scarlett and I went undercover in Lita FiolÆs outfit, Odelia and Chase did the legwork, and Max sat back and let that big brain of his compute all the evidence and come up with the perfect solution.ö

ôWhat I find fascinating,ö said Marge, ôis that Lita Fiol and Tobias Pushman are an item. They seem like such an unlikely couple.ö

ôOpposites attract, Marge,ö said Charlene. ôHavenÆt you learned that by now?ö

She was right, of course. LetÆs examine the evidence: Marge and Tex. Odelia and Chase. Charlene and Uncle Alec. Harriet and Brutus.

Even among friends the same truth applies: Gran and Scarlett. Me and Dooley. Or even all four of us. Brutus and I couldnÆt be more different. Or Dooley and Harriet. And still weÆre the bestest of friends. Sometimes we fall out, but in the end, friendship prevails.

And as the pleasant banter slowly lulled me to sleep, suddenly a loud cry had us all look up. It came from Odelia, whoÆd jumped up from her chair and was staring at something on her plate. And as I looked closer, I saw that it was somethingà hairy!

ôDad!ö she cried. ôWhat do you think youÆre doing!ö

Tex immediately came hurrying over, and picked up the offending food item between thumb and forefinger. It was a bug. A very big, hairy bug.

ôI didnÆt put that there,ö he said. ôI draw the line at bugs, honey.ö

ôThey are very nutritious, though,ö Gran knew. ôPlenty of protein.ö

ôI donÆt care about protein!ö Odelia cried.

ôWell, you should. Pregnant women need lots of protein.ö

ôDid you put that bug on my plate?ö Odelia demanded hotly.

ôOf course not!ö said Gran. ôThough, like I said, theyÆre very healthy. And yummy.ö

ôVesta, tell me you didnÆt,ö said Charlene.

ôOh, for crying out loud. If I had put that bug on your plate I would have fried it first.ö

ôFried it!ö Marge cried.

ôDid you know that fried bugs are considered a superfood? They even turn them into hamburgers now. Though in Japan they like to eat their bugs alive. Yummy for your tummy!ö

And as the recriminations shot back and forth, suddenly something dawned on me. I slowly turned to Dooley, and when I saw his apologetic smile, the penny dropped.

He gave me a penitent shrug.ôWhat can I say, Max?ö he said quietly. ôItÆs my USP.ö

Oh, boy. It was going to be a long nine months.

47. PURRFECT DATE

Chapter 1

It was book club night at Tex and MargeÆs placeùthough Tex was conveniently elsewhere, since he wasnÆt a memberùand the house was cozily busy. Marge, as Hampton CoveÆs librarian, did the honors as usual, in the sense that she picked the book, sent out the invitations and supplied the necessary refreshments for the participants, and I must say she did a great job.

Her daughter Odelia was there, of course, and so was our mayor, Charlene Butterwick. The other members were unknown quantities as far as I was concerned, but I still viewed them with the kind benevolence of a cat who knows that treats will be forthcoming and cuddles givenùall in moderation, of course.

The book Marge had chosen wasTears in the Mudby Jacqueline B. Wilding, a torrid tome of love and loss, and clearly the participants had all enjoyed the book tremendously, as evidenced by the glowing comments they awarded it.

All in all, as far as I could tell, book club was mostly an excuse to get together and gossip, while enjoying free cake, tea and cookies, but then who am I? Just a lowly feline observer that nobody pays too much attention toùapart from said treats and cuddles.

Book club membership currently stood at eight. Which meant that apart from Marge, Odelia and Charlene, five other ladies had decided to show up. They were, reading from left to right: Emma Kulhanek, who was a sort of mousy-looking housewife, Lynnette Say, also a housewife, but more of the glamorousæThe Real Housewives of New York CityÆ type, Adra Elfman, an elderly lady who was also a regular at the library, Carlotta Brook, who ran our local archery club and was allegedly a crack shot with bow and arrow, and of course the rising star in our local business community: the one and only Valina Fawn.

You may have heard of Valina. You may even have signed up for the dating site she runs, also called Valina Fawn, and one of the better-known and successful dating sites out there right now. Forget about Tinder or OkCupid or any of those highfaluting apps. Valina Fawn is the site both the loveless and the hopeful all turn to when looking for love.

ôIs it true that the President himself found the First Lady on your site, Valina?ö asked Adra Elfman now. The old lady sat nibbling a chocolate chip cookie and looking at Valina with delight. It wasnÆt too much to say that one of the main reasons MargeÆs book club meetings were so popular lately was exactly because of ValinaÆs star quality. Though of course the lady knew discretion was key, and kept her trade secrets very much to herself.

ôThat would be telling, Adra,ö said Valina, who was a strikingly handsome woman in her early forties. Her straight blond hair was coiffed to perfection, and as usual she was dressed in one of her trademark power suits. ôAnd as you know, a lady never tells.ö

ôSo itÆs true,ö Adra murmured, her eyes shining brightly.

ôI very much doubt whether the President found his wife on a dating site,ö said Lynnette. ôIÆm sure heÆs got better things to do than to trawl those awful sitesùno offense, Valina.ö

ôNone taken,ö said Valina graciously. She knew better than most that the notion of finding love on the internet still carried a certain stigma, and worked hard to erase it.

ôItÆs exactly because the President has so many things on his mind that he doesnÆt have time to go out and find himself a partner,ö said Emma Kulhanek. ôThe man is so busy all the time I can easily imagine how he would turn to a dating site to find love again.ö She smiled a little smileas she demurely crossed her fingers in her lap. ôIn fact I think youÆre providing a wonderful service, Valina. To bring people together is an act of compassion.ö

Lynnette glanced over to Emma. For some reason the two ladies had never got on. Perhaps because Lynnette saw herself reflected in Emma, though in a more banal way.ôYou would say that, Emma,ö she said. ôYouÆre exactly the kind of person Valina caters to.ö

Emma frowned.ôAnd what kind of person is that, may I ask?ö

ôWell, the hopeless romantic, of course.ö

ôThereÆs nothing wrong with being romantic,ö now Charlene piped up. ôIn fact itÆs romance that provides a glimmer of hope for humanity.ö

ôWhich brings us right back to our book,ö said Marge, managing a nice segue.

ôDidnÆt you and Valina go to school together, Emma?ö asked Carlotta Brook. The archery clubÆs chairwoman was tall and boyishly coiffed, and had at one time been a professional archer, even going so far as to earn herself an Olympic medal in her chosen discipline. She still had the sinewy athleticism that had served her so well, as well as the no-nonsense attitude.

ôYes, we did,ö said Valina, whoÆd been checking her phone. ôSeems like such a long time ago now, doesnÆt it, Em?ö

Emma smiled.ôIt certainly does. Though having kids of my own, it all seems to come back to me. Especially since theyÆre going to the same school we went to. Though itÆs all quite different now, of course. Especially since IÆm teaching at the very school I was a student at.ö

ôHard to credit that youÆre both the same age,ö said Lynnette, glancing from Emma to Valina. ôYou seem soà different.ö

EmmaÆs smile wavered. ôIf youÆre trying to tell me I look old, you can come right out and say it, Lynnette. No need to beat about the bush.ö

ôLadies, ladies,ö said Odelia, holding up her hands like a referee. ôWeÆre all friends here. All united in our appreciation of fine literature?ö

There were murmurs of agreement, though judging from the looks Emma was shooting in LynnetteÆs direction, it was clear that the latterÆs insensitive remarks would be addressed at a later date.

ôIs it true that George Clooney found his Amal through your site?ö asked Adra, whoÆd dipped in and had secured herself another chocolate chip cookie. The old lady clearly was more interested in any gossip Valina was willing to dispense than in fine literature.

ôThat would be telling, now wouldnÆt it?ö said Valina finely.

ôGeorge doesnÆt need a dating site,ö said Carlotta. ôThat man had to fend off the women throwing themselves at his feet back in the day. With all the ladies vying for his attention he could have started a dating site on his own, with him the only male.ö

ôIs there anyone here who actually found love through a dating site?ö asked Lynnette. ôAnd it doesnÆt have to be ValinaÆs site, though of course hers is the Rolls Royce of sites.ö She gave the businesswoman an ingratiating look. ôIÆll go first, shall I?ö she immediately added. ôI responded to some of those dating ads in the paper onceùyour paper, actually, Odeliaùbut unfortunately found them slim pickings. The men I ended up going out with were all horribly uncouth, I must say.ö She slightly tilted her chin. ôDross of mankind.ö

ôSo how did you find Franco?ö asked Charlene, referring to LynnetteÆs husband.

ôQuite the old-fashioned way, actually,ö said Lynnette. ôWe bumped into each other at a fundraiser for orphaned kids. He had just bid on a marvelous Willem de Kooning, and I had bid on an amazing Jackson Pollock, and when we went backstage to make the necessary arrangements, we got to talking. His views on life and art perfectly matched with mine, and so when he asked if I wanted to see his art collection, of course I said yes.ö

ôYouÆre sure he was referring to his art collection and not something else?ö said Emma.

Lynnette shot a look that could kill in her fellow book club memberÆs direction and shrugged. ôYou donÆt have to tell us how you met your hubby, Em. IÆm sure itÆs a story so saccharine itÆll make our teeth hurt.ö

ôIt wasnÆt through a dating site, if thatÆs what you mean,ö said Emma, bridling a little. ôBut it was a romantic tale, thatÆs true. When our school needed a new online learning platform, Norwell was the man in charge of design and construction. So we got to work together very closely indeed. And during one of those late-night meetings I suddenly realized that I was looking forward to seeing him much more than I should. And as he later admitted, he felt exactly the same way. Three months later we were married.ö

ôAnd how about you, Odelia?ö asked Valina. ôHow did you and Chase meet?ö

ôThrough work, I guess,ö said Odelia. ôHe was this cocky cop whoÆd joined our local police force and hated me meddling in police affairs. So we ended up crossing swords quite a lot, even as we tackled some of the most baffling murder cases. But once I saw past his cockiness, and he got downfrom his high horseà Well, we just hit it off.ö

ôOh, how romantic!ö Adra cried. ôAnd so much more interesting than discussing a boring book, wouldnÆt you say?ö

ôOdd that they would get together for book club and think talking about books is boring,ö said Dooley, who was lying on the couch next to me.

ôIÆm sure theyÆll get around to discussing the book eventually,ö I said, though clearly Marge wasnÆt holding out hope, as evidenced by the fact that sheÆd already put her copy of the book down and was sitting back, resigned to listen to stories about first meets.

ôI guess when you and Tex first met dating sites werenÆt around yet, were they?ö asked Lynnette, addressing their fearless book club leader.

ôNot sites as such,ö said Marge, ôthough just like you I did respond to an ad in the paper. Though when I say responded, it would probably be closer to the truth to say that my mom responded and then guilted me into going. You see, IÆd just broken up with my boyfriend, and was feeling a little down in the dumps, and Ma thought I needed cheering up.ö

ôMom!ö said Odelia. ôYou never told me you met dad through a personal ad.ö

ôWell, I did,ö said Marge. ôHe was a medical student back then, and one of his fellow students had actually sent in that ad, so when he showed up for our date he was less than excited, feeling he had to go through with it, or be accused of being disloyal. And since I felt exactly the same, itwasnÆt a propitious start. But much to our surprise, we hit it off immediately, and have been together ever since.ö She smiled at the recollection. ôThough IÆm not sure my mother still doesnÆt regret setting us up for that date.ö

ôAre you kidding?ö said Charlene. ôAny mother would kill to see her daughter go off and marry a doctor.ö

ôI know, but my previous boyfriend was the son of a local millionaire businessman, so in my motherÆs view a mere doctor was a step down in my fortunes. Though I never saw it that way. Also, my former boyfriend is in prison now for kidnapping his own wife, so itÆs safe to say my motherÆs views on him have since gone through a major modification.ö

They all laughed at this, but then ValinaÆs phone chimed and she got up. ôIÆm sorry, but I have to take this,ö she murmured, and hurried off into the kitchen. We heard her talking rather heatedly into her phone, but then as more people shared the details of their love life with the others, we forgot all about Valina and her urgentcall. Until, that is, she came hurrying back into the living room to grab her coat. ôI have to go, Marge,ö she said, shooting a look of apology in the latterÆs direction. ôSomething came up at the office.ö

And without further ado, she shot out of the room like a flash.

ôWhat kind of an emergency can there be with a dating app?ö asked Carlotta laughingly.

ôA bad match?ö joked Charlene.

ôOr maybe the site has gone haywire,ö said Lynnette. ôAnd people are all being forced to swipe left when they want to swipe right. Or is it the other way around? IÆm not well-versed in the latest minutiae of dating, and glad of it, too, if you want to know.ö She performed an exaggerated eye roll. ôIÆm just happy I found my perfect match before the days of internet dating became the hype du jour. It all seems so complicated now!ö

ôDoesnÆt it just,ö said Adra. She held up her hand and flicked her wedding ring. ôBeen married fifty years this autumn. Hard to believe itÆs been that long.ö

ôSo how did you and Gene meet, Adra?ö asked Carlotta.

The old ladyÆs eyes flickered. ôIn a book club just like this one, only a slightly saucier one I must admit. It was one of those underground book clubs that focused on the racy kind of book. Most of the members were women, of course, but there was one brave soul whoÆd ventured into the unknown, though hewas under the impression it was a Jane Austen book club. Until he discovered the kind of books we were reading. He gamely went along, though, and soon was the center of attention, of course. The only man in a club full of women. Later on he told me that he liked me from the first. And I must say I fancied him, too. Especially since he had such a nice voice when he read out those long erotic passages fromLady ChatterleyÆs Lover!ö

More laughter filled the room, and I slowly drifted off to sleep.

MargeÆs book club members may love to share stories of first love, but frankly the only story IÆm interested in is the story of my perfect couch. Talk about love at first sight!

Chapter 2

By the time I opened my eyes again, all book club members had mercifully dispersed, and Marge and Odelia were gathering cups and saucers and carrying them into the kitchen. A strange sound reached my ears, and when I looked over, I saw that Harriet was sitting nearby, hovering over a tablet computer and deftly swiping it with her paw pads. The sound that had roused me from my nice nap was Harriet quietly but with rising intensity saying,ôNo, no, no, no, no! How is this possible!ö

I gave her a lazy look.ôWhatÆs wrong?ö

ôOh, itÆs this new dating app,ö the pretty white Persian said. ôI canÆt make heads nor tails of the thing.ö

Dooley had to laugh at this.ôHeads nor tails,ö he said. ôFunny.ö When Harriet shot him a withering glance, he weekly added, ôTails. Because you have a tail?ö

ôOh, Dooley,ö Harriet grumbled, then frowned some more at her tablet.

Brutus, whoÆd wandered into the kitchen, looking for a bite to eat, now returned. ôStay out of the kitchen,ö he said. ôIt never ceases to amaze me how people who love books can make such a mess. Marge and Odelia have been doing the dishes for what feels like hours.ö

ôItÆs because Marge likes to show off by taking out her finest China,ö I explained. ôAnd since she canÆt put them in the dishwasher they all have to be washed by hand. And with special detergent that doesnÆt cause any damage. And all hand-dried very carefully and replaced in the cupboard, lest they might chip.ö

Brutus had hopped up onto the couch next to his mate and now frowned at the tablet.ôWhat is this?ö he asked.

ôNothing special, sweetie,ö said Harriet. ôJust some app IÆm trying out.ö

ôIs thatà Pettr?ö asked Brutus, sounding aghast.

ôWhatÆs Pettr?ö I asked.

ôItÆs like Tinder for pets,ö Brutus explained. ôYou swipe right when you have a match.ö He now took a closer look at the app his lady love was surfing on. ôItis Pettr. Why are you on Pettr?ö he demanded.

ôI was just curious, sugar babe,ö said Harriet. ôShanille told me about it, and so I wanted to take a look. Just to know what all the fuss was about.ö

ôShanille is on Pettr?ö asked Brutus.

ôYeah, she is.ö

ôWhat is a dating app, Max?ö asked Dooley.

ôItÆs an app where people looking for a partner find each other,ö I said.

ôHow does it work, exactly?ö

ôWell, you create a profile on the site or the app, with a picture that was taken twenty years ago, then you write something about yourself, usually painting yourself in a more favorable light, and then you hope that someone who comes across your profile likes it enough to swipe right and give you a try. And if you like the person who swiped right, you can also swipe right and you arrange to meet.ö

ôSo you donÆt look like you, and write stuff that isnÆt really you, and the other person does the same?ö said Dooley, catching on quickly.

ôThatÆs about the gist of it,ö I agreed.

ôBut wonÆt the other person notice that you lied?ö

ôOf course they will, but you hope that social pressure will prevent them from walking out on you in the middle of a busy restaurant, and that through the sheer magnetism of your personality youÆll be able to make them forget youÆre twenty years older and thirty pounds heavier, and that youÆre not as fascinating as you made out to be in your profile.ö

ôSounds like a recipe for disaster,ö was my friendÆs estimation.

ôAnd yet sometimes it seems to works,ö I said.

ôAnd sometimes it doesnÆt,ö said Harriet, and gave us all a sad look. ôI accidentally swiped right when I should have swiped left. So now what?ö

ôNow youÆre going on a date,ö I said cheerfully.

ôWhat?!ö Brutus cried. ôNo way!ö

ôIÆm sorry, sunshine,ö said Harriet. ôI got confused.ö

ôBetween left and right?!ö he asked, incredulous.

ôI mix up left and right all the time,ö said Dooley.

ôSo who did you match with?ö asked Brutus. Then, as he took a closer look, he gasped in shock. ôNo way!ö

ôWho is it?ö I asked, my curiosity aroused in spite of myself. But all I got were blank looks from both Harriet and Brutus.

ôItÆll be fine,ö said Brutus. ôYou simply stand him up, thatÆs all.ö

ôItÆs not going to be good for my rating,ö Harriet said.

ôWho cares about your rating!ö He eyed her suspiciously. ôUnless you want to keep on dating?ö

ôOf course not, snuggle bear! Like I said, I was just taking a look.ö

ôThatÆs fine, then,ö said Brutus, though he didnÆt seem entirely convinced. Then again, if I found my girlfriend creating a profile on a dating site, I wouldnÆt be convinced of her innocence in the matter either.

ôIs Pettr the same site our humans were talking about earlier?ö asked Dooley.

ôNo, that was the human version. ItÆs called Valina Fawn,ö I said. ôNamed after the siteÆs founder and president Valina Fawn.ö

ôItÆs so interesting to have a real celebrity in our midst,ö said Dooley now, as he placed his head on his front paws. ôSo did she really set George Clooney up with Amal?ö

Oh, God. What was the world coming to when even Dooley was starting to spread celebrity gossip?

Just then, there was a loud crashing sound coming from the kitchen, followed by irate voices. Moments later, Tex walked into the living room. His face was red and he had a hunted look on his face.ôWho puts their best China on a table in front of the kitchen door?ö he muttered, then sank down on the nearest couch and turned on the television. A dating show was in full progress, so he decidedly flipped the channel until heÆd landed on the Discovery Channel, which was showing a documentary about the migratory pattern of the native geese. Tex relaxed and moments later was in a deep sleep, and so were we.

Chapter 3

On Saturday morning at the Brookwell Archery Club, three familiar figures were having a whale of a time. They were Tex Poole, his son-in-law Chase Kingsley, and TexÆs brother-in-law Alec Lip. All three men were holding bow and arrow, but so far they hadnÆt exactly been successful in hitting their targets, which had been set up a little ways awayùat any rate too far away for them to hit them. Then again, they probably would have had a hard time hitting anything unless it was three feet away.

Archery is a demanding sport, after all, and only through diligent practice can one hope to get any good at it. And since the only reason Tex, Chase and Alec were members of the club was because the price of the lukewarm beer they served in the clubhouse was the best price in town, they didnÆt stand a chance of ever going to the Olympic Games.

Carlotta Brook herself was there, of course, and so was CarlottaÆs husband Dennis, who was in charge of the clubÆs financial side: collecting membership fees and such. And it was with exactly this important task in mind that he now set foot for Alec Lip and discreetly led the police chief away from the others.

ôI see you havenÆt paid your fees yet this month, Alec,ö Dennis said, lowering his voice when discussing this oh-so-delicate matter with the errant member in question. ôIf youÆre having trouble, we could maybe set up a payment plan? Easy weekly installments?ö

ôThat wonÆt be necessary,ö Alec grunted, looking a little annoyed. ôJust a minor oversight, thatÆs all.ö And when the other man stared at him, he added, with a touch of incredulity. ôSurely you donÆt want me to pay you now, Dennis?ö

ôIf you could. You can call me nitpicky, but I like everything to be just so.ö

ôOh, all right,ö said Alec, and took out his wallet to pay the man. He quickly glanced over, but both Tex and Chase had discreetly turned their heads the other way. No one likes to intervene in a close relativeÆs financial affairs. That way only trouble and strife lie.

Once Tex had settled up, he rejoined the others, and as they stood sipping from their lukewarm beers, and idly gazing at the target somewhere in the distance, they talked about this and that, happy for this chance to shoot the breeze and strengthen those all-important bonds of friendship.

ôSo book club last night, huh?ö said Chase. ôHow was it? Odelia wouldnÆt tell me.ö

ôPlenty of gossip, from what I understand,ö said Tex. ôEmma Kulhanek and Lynnette Say locked horns again, and Adra Elfman wanted to know how the others had all met their significant other. Marge was annoyed, I can tell you that much. She spends a lot of time preparing for these weekly meetings, and when all is said and done, nobody reads the book, nobody is interested in discussing the book, and the only thing she takes away from the meeting is the minutiae of everyoneÆs love life, which isnÆt exactly the point.ö

ôIÆll bet itÆs more interesting than the book itself,ö said Alec with a grin. ôWhy did Emma and Lynnette lock horns?ö

ôLynnette seems to think Emma is too dowdy for book club. She wants to raise book clubÆs profile, and Emma isnÆt a good fit. With Charlene she has the mayor, Marge is a doctorÆs wife, Odelia is a prominent reporter, Carlotta is an Olympian and plays an important role in the local community as a Rotary Club member, and of course runs the archery club, and then thereÆs Valina Fawn, whoÆs a major celebrity in her own right.ö

ôSo where does Adra Elfman fit in?ö asked Chase. ôSheÆs hardly a celebrity.ö

ôAdraÆs husband Gene was the long-time chairman of the Chamber of Commerce,ö said Alec. ôAnd heÆs still very well connected, even though heÆs now retired, of course.ö

ôBut isnÆt EmmaÆs husband something big with Valina FawnÆs site?ö asked Chase.

ôNorwell is a developer,ö said Tex. ôSo in LynnetteÆs eyes heÆs a computer geek.ö

ôHeÆs more than just a developer,ö said Alec. ôNorwell is ValinaÆs business partner.ö

ôAnd Emma is a teacher, which isnÆt the kind of person Lynnette wants to be seen associating with,ö said Tex, shrugging his shoulders.

ôIn other words, Lynnette Say is a big, fat snob,ö said Chase.

ôA snob with a lot of money, and since Marge is always on the lookout for people interested in donating to her libraryàö

Just then, ChaseÆs phone chimed, and he took it out. He frowned at the display. ôDid you guys see this? Looks like Valina Fawn has been hacked.ö

ôValina Fawn or her site?ö asked Tex.

ôThe site.ö ChaseÆs frown deepened. ôUh-oh. The hackers have put a list with the names of all of Valina FawnÆs customers online.ö

And as they glanced around, suddenly phones of other members started beeping frantically. And as men took out their phones, faces blanched, muttered curses were uttered, strangled cries emitted, and before long a minor stampede was in motion, with people hurrying off to the parking lot and making a hasty departure.

When the dust had finally settled, the only ones left were Tex, Alec and Chaseà and of course Carlotta and Dennis Brook. Though the latter looked very much ill at ease as he came face to face with his wife.

Carlotta stared at her husband with ill-concealed rage displayed on her sinewy face. Then she hauled off and hit him squarely in the stomach and walked off on a huff.

Dennis, whoÆd doubled up and staggered back, now stared at the departing image of his wife, his hand massaging his injured midsection, clearly stunned by this development.

Alec shook his head.ôI just hope this wonÆt lead to any problems,ö he said.

ôPretty sure it will,ö said Chase, and drained the last of his beer. He frowned when his own phone chimed, and took it out. ôFamily meetingùnow!ö he read from the display. He looked up to find both his father-in-law and uncle-in-law gazing at their own phones.

All three men shared a look.

The trouble had begun.

Chapter 4

A family meeting was called and took place in Marge and TexÆs home. In the same living room where the day before Valina Fawn had been called away on some unspecified emergencyùwhich I guess itÆs safe to say we now knew was the big leak her site had sprungùthree men were being grilled to within an inch of their lives by the respective women in thoselives.

ôThatÆs not me,ö said Chase blankly when he was confronted with the evidence. It was a bold defense, and I was certainly not a little bit curious if heÆd be able to back it up. ôNo, I swear. I never signed up for that site,ö he assured an irate-looking Odelia. ôWhoever put that picture of me on that damn dating site definitely has got some explaining to do.ö

ôI donÆt know, Chase,ö said Odelia. ôFormer NYPD cop? Likes to work out and spoil his lady love? Must love dogs? It all sounds very much like you.ö

ôOh, honey, Chase would never do such a thing,ö said Marge. ôThe man is about to become a father for the first time. Which canÆt be said about you, Tex. What were you thinking!ö

ôI was just curious, honey!ö Tex cried. ôWith all the hullabaloo around the site, I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I was never going to do any actual dating.ö

ôYouÆre cheating on my daughter,ö said Gran, ôwhich means youÆre cheating on me. And frankly I think you should just kick him out, honey. Once a cheater, always a cheater.ö

ôYou canÆt throw me out of my own house, Vesta,ö said Tex tersely.

ôOh, yes, we can. Just do it, honey,ö she told her daughter. ôItÆs one small step for you, but a giant leap for all womankind. Go on, or do you want me to do the honors?ö

Meanwhile, Charlene sat eyeing her boyfriend with a cold eye.ôI donÆt get it,ö the Mayor said. ôYou could have told me you werenÆt happy, Alec. We could have talked about it. But instead you went behind my back andùö

ôI already told youùI just wanted to trap the Black Widow!ö

ôOh, is that the code name she uses? So what does she look like, this secret girlfriend of yours? Do I know her?ö

ôThe Black Widow is a known criminal,ö said Alec. ôSheÆs already killed five men, and rumor has it that sheÆs in Hampton Cove right now, living under an alias. The FBI has credible intel sheÆs on Valina Fawn, which is how she managed to lure her victims to their death, and so I just figured IÆd try to find her by creating a profile and drawing her out!ö

ôA likely story,ö Charlene scoffed.

ôItÆs the truth!ö

ôSo what have we got?ö said Gran. ôOne man who claims heÆs the victim of identity theft, another who just wanted to see æwhat all the fuss was aboutÆ and a third whoÆs looking for a black widow.ö She tsk-tsked lightly. ôI call bullshit.ö And when cries of disagreement rose up, she repeated, louder this time, ôAbsolute bullshit!ö

ôWhat do you think, Max?ö asked Dooley. ôDo you think theyÆre telling the truth?ö

ôOh, absolutely,ö I said. ôThough of course you can never really know for sure.ö

ôThereÆs one way to find out if Chase is telling the truth, at least,ö said Brutus. ôTalk to the people who designed the site and ask them if they can check who created that profile.ö

ôTrue,ö I said. ôBut then youÆd have to get a warrant, and I doubt any judge would grant one based on the suspicion of a local reporter. No, I think Odelia, Marge and Charlene are just going to have to take their significant othersÆ word for it, hard as that might be.ö

And as far as I could tell, it would be quite a while before that happened. And since none of us enjoys these family feuds, we decided to head out through the pet flap and take in some fresh air. Recriminations flying back and forth are not exactly my idea of a pleasant time to be had by all.

And weÆd just left the house through the pet flap when a smallish bird suddenly materialized and stepped to the fore. He looked a little shy as he presented himself. ôHi, my name is Jack,ö said the bird, whom I immediately identified as belonging to the sparrow species. ôAnd you must be Harriet,ö he added, and presented our friend with a small daisy he must have picked up in someoneÆs backyard. ôIÆm glad to finally meet you, Harriet, and I can tell you right off the bat that I have a good feeling about this.ö

ôA good feeling about what?ö asked Harriet, as confused as the rest of us.

ôThis,ö said Jack, gesturing between himself and Harriet. ôOur relationship.ö

HarrietÆs jaw dropped, and so did mine. Dooley merely gave the bird a look of keen interest. After having watched numerous nature documentaries, the mating ritual of birds holds no secrets for him. Brutus, meanwhile, was getting a little worked up.

ôWhat do you mean, our relationship!ö the butch black cat demanded heatedly.

ôWell, you swiped right, and I swiped right, and of course that wasnÆt a big surprise, as I immediately felt this click, you knowùa connection, if you see what I mean.ö The tiny bird smiled a diffident smile. ôYou must have felt the same, dearest Harriet. And now that I finally meet you in the flesh, as it were, I must say IÆm not disappointed. On the contraryùyou look even better in reality than on your profile, which is a rare thing these days.ö

A powerful rebuke had been trembling on HarrietÆs lips, but JackÆs words took the wind out of her sails. ôOh,ö she said. ôDo you really think so?ö

ôAbsolutely. Gorgeous doesnÆt even begin to describe it.ö

ôYouÆve got some nerve!ö Brutus cried, and took a menacing step in the direction of the small brown bird. Jack immediately took flight and settled in a nearby tree, where he was safe from our friendÆs sharp claws.

ôBrutus, IÆm sure this isnÆt necessary,ö said Harriet. ôJack is just trying to be nice.ö

ôNice!ö Brutus cried. ôHeÆs talking about having a relationship with you!ö

ôIÆm sorry to say that me swiping right was a mistake, Jack,ö Harriet now clarified. ôI wanted to swipe left, but then something got in my eye, and I accidentally swiped right.ö

ôWhat got in your eye was the fact that IÆm the perfect partner for you, beautiful Harriet,ö said Jack, now causing us to have to look up, not down. ôAnd IÆm quite determined to prove it to you by showering you with my affections and my gifts.ö

ôGifts?ö asked Harriet, perking up at this. ôWhat gifts?ö

ôHarriet!ö Brutus cried, exasperated. ôHeÆs a bird!ö

ôWell spotted, cat,ö said Jack. ôI am indeed a bird. A love bird. And when you give me a chance, IÆll make sweet, sweet love to you, morning, noon and night, lovely Harriet.ö

ôLet me get at him,ö Brutus growled, and made to climb that tree. But unfortunately for him Jack took flight again, and this time perched on the gutter, from where he continued to give Harriet the glad eye. In fact he was winking at her, causing Harriet to giggle and Brutus to fume with righteous rage.

ôYouÆre sweet,ö Harriet said finally. ôBut IÆm afraid this is one of those relationships that simply isnÆt to be, Jack.ö

ôAnd why is that?ö asked Jack. ôIÆm too short for you, is that it? Well, what I lack in height, I make up in honest heat. I can assure you that passion is my middle name.ö

ôSo his name is Jack Passion Sparrow?ö asked Dooley.

ôSomething like that,ö I said.

ôJack the sparrow,ö said Dooley musingly. ôNow what does that remind me of?ö

ôBrutus, come down from that drainpipe!ö Harriet was yelling. But of course by the time Brutus finally reached the roof, Jack had flown off again, rerouting once again to that tree and making Brutus look really silly sitting up there on that roof.

ôLooks like Brutus is stuck, Max,ö said Dooley.

ôYeah, looks like,ö I agreed.

ôDonÆt just stand there!ö Brutus cried. ôGet me down from here!ö

We turned when Jack suddenly started singing. Like a regular crooner, he was singing a love song, infusing it with all the warmth and fervor he harbored in his tiny bosom.

ôSuch a pity,ö Harriet murmured.

ôWhat is?ö I asked.

ôThatÆs heÆs just a sparrow and not some majestic bird of prey. Like a bald eagle, you know, though of course if he were a bald eagle IÆd ask him to get a toupee. Or a hair transplant. A cat of my stature canÆt be seen dating a baldie.ö

ôHeÆs a bird and youÆre a cat, Harriet,ö I said. ôIt wouldnÆt work.ö

ôYou donÆt know that,ö said Harriet. ôStranger things have happened. And besides, nobodyÆs perfect.ö

ôItÆs one of those impossible relationships, isnÆt it,ö said Dooley. ôLike Romeo and Juliet, or Quasimodo and Demi Moore. Or even Emma Watson and the Beast.ö

ôThe Beauty and the Beast,ö Harriet murmured. ôNow isnÆt that something?ö

ôCan someone get me down from here!ö Brutus bellowed.

Chapter 5

Dolores Peltz had come down with a serious case of the flu, and since her only possible replacement was vacationing in Hawaii, doing one of those wild water rafting excursions and couldnÆt be reached, Chief Alec Lip had been forced to be creative, and had tasked his mother with taking over from Dolores for now. As Tex PooleÆs more-or-less faithful receptionist for many years, no one could fault Vesta with a lack of know-how. And as the leader of the neighborhood watch, she wasintimately knowledgeable with both the town of Hampton Cove and the crime-fighting mindset. Plus, sheÆd been helping her granddaughter Odelia Poole and the latterÆs husband Chase Kingsley tackle many a difficult crime case, so she had some basic grasp of police procedure as well.

In other words: the perfect police dispatcher.

Vesta only had one proviso before she assumed the role: that her friend Scarlett Canyon was allowed to join her. As she explained it, being a police dispatcher was a stressful and lonely job, and she could use the company.

ôIÆm not sure,ö Alec had said, fingering one of his many chins. But since he basically had no other choice, he finally caved to VestaÆs demands.

And so it was that the women who called in to file an official complaint against Valina Fawn for leading their husbands astray, and the men who called in to file an official complaint against the site for being careless with their personal information, either had the misfortune of getting Vesta as their interlocutor, or Scarlett. ItÆs safe to say that neither woman had a lot of compassion to dispense with.

ôSo your husband cheated on you,ö said Vesta. ôBig deal. Dump him and get another one. I told my daughter exactly the same thing when we found out her husband is on that site: kick him out and start looking for a decent guy. Though I have to be honest with you, Mary, in my personal opinion all men are dogs, so I simply wouldnÆt bother if I were you. Just get a nice cat. Cats will never let you down. And IÆm speaking from experience here.ö

ôIf you didnÆt want your personal information to leak,ö said Scarlett, seated next to Vesta, ôyou shouldnÆt have signed up for that site in the first place, Mike. WhatÆs wrong with simply meeting a potential partner in the frozen foods section at your local supermarket? Or at a local dance? ItÆs not rocket science. Simply common sense.ö

They both hung up and took a breath.ôTough day,ö said Scarlett.

ôTell me about it.ö

They glanced at the switchboard.ôTwenty calls waiting!ö Scarlett cried. ôNo way!ö

ôIf IÆd known IÆd have to work this hard, I wouldnÆt have taken the darn job.ö

Then they shrugged and simultaneously picked up their phones again. Duty called!

[╩α≡≥ΦφΩα: img_2]

Valina Fawn wasnÆt having a good day. In fact she wasnÆt having a good week. First the news that her site had been hacked, and then the even worse news that the hackers had decided to dump the entire contents of their customer database online. The phones had been ringing off the hook, and they were facing a massive client exodus, which was understandable, since a major part of their appeal was a guarantee of client privacy.

And as if this wasnÆt all bad enough, now Norwell was giving her a bad time.

He was pacing her office, creeping back and forth like a crouching tigerùor a crouching pussycat, since Norwell was a full foot shorter than Valina. ôI told you that security was one of your weak spots, Valina,ö Norwell was saying. ôAnd you said youÆd deal with it. Looks like you didnÆt ædeal with itÆ as much as ignore itùto your own detriment!ö

ôIf you simply dropped by to tell me æI told you soÆ IÆll tell you right now to buzz off, Norwell,ö she said, swiveling annoyedly in her swivel chair, seated behind her comfortably large desk. When sheÆd started her own site, after having spent the formative years of her career setting up sites for other people, sheÆd sworn sheÆd get the biggest office with the biggest desk in the business, and she had. Tinder, Match, Pettrà Their CEOs all had much smaller desks. She knew, since sheÆd checked.

Norwell turned on her.ôI came here to tell you weÆre in big, big trouble, Valina!ö

ôTell me something I donÆt know.ö

ôYou know, I never thought IÆd say this, but I sincerely regret ever having said yes to your proposal. I had a perfectly good job in Silicon Valley, with a perfectly comfortable pay packet, a great apartment, nice car, excellent schooling for my kids. And now what?ö

ôThis is not the end, Norwell,ö she said emphatically, feeling that she better talk her business partner off the ledge or else heÆd jump out of a window or under a train.

ôIt certainly looks like the end. WeÆve lost thirty percent of our clientele. Thirty percent!ö

ôTheyÆll come back,ö said Valina. ôOnce they realize weÆre still the best option in town to find the perfect partner.ö

ôThereÆs blood in the water!ö said Norwell, flapping his arms like a chicken and going from concerned business partner to full-blown drama queen. ôOur investors are going to drop usùbanks are going to call in their loans. This is going to be bad. Very, very bad.ö

ôLook, weÆre not the first business that got hacked. Others have survived, even thrived, and so will we. So we took a hitùweÆll rally. The most important thing right now is to make sure we put measures in place that make us impregnable. And thatÆs where you come in, Norwell.ö

ôI knew this was going to happen,ö said Norwell, grabbing his head and going back to pacing back and forth. ôThe site is like a sieve. Anyone could have gotten in. Even some snot-nosed kid playing amateur hacker in his momÆs basement could have hacked us.ö

ôThen you better make sure you plug the hole,ö said Valina, quickly losing patience with the guy. ôYou need to get your act together, Norwell. And get the site back on track.ö

He stared at her for a moment, a sort of wild-eyed look in his eyes, then turned on his heel and left her office.

She breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing she needed right now was for the people the site depended on to lose their shit. Norwell Kulhanek had come highly recommended for his programming prowess, and since sheÆd always known that programming was the siteÆs weak point, sheÆd wooed the man relentlessly, even going so far as to make him a partner, even though that went against the grain in every sense of the word.

Valina Fawn was her baby, a site she had nurtured and turned from a fledgling start-up into a juggernaut. And it was exactly that explosive growth that had caused a lot of teething problems. The infrastructure designed to carry a small site had quickly outgrown its usefulness, and since itÆs hard to redesign a site from the ground up when itÆs already up and running, sheÆd kept postponing the inevitable, until, apparently, it was too late.

Not too late, she chided herself. TheyÆd recover from this disaster. TheyÆd learn and grow and in due course regain peopleÆs trust, and it would be as if this hack had never happened.

Yeah, right. Who was she kidding!

Chapter 6

Odelia was in her editorÆs office, seated in front of the manÆs desk. Dan seemed particularly excited, as evidenced by the distinct waggle of his long white beard.

ôThis is the story of the century,ö the aged editor said. ôWe have to grab this thing and grab it good!ö

ôIt just sounds like a lot of gossip to me,ö said Odelia. As she had always understood, Dan didnÆt want theHampton Cove Gazette to turn into yet another gossip rag. Many times he had stressed that they had to be above that kind of tabloid journalism. And yet here it almost felt as if he was abandoning the principles of a lifetime for a juicy story. Then again, maybe the story was simply too big to ignore. Everyone was talking about it.

ôItÆs not just idle gossip, Odelia,ö said Dan. ôItÆs a human interest story. And it involves the whole community. Did you look at the list?ö

ôI did,ö she said, not wanting to point out that her own husband and her dad were on the list, not to mention her uncle.

ôEverybodyÆs on there! From the pharmacist to the council member to businessmen, lawyers, shopkeepers, butchers, plumbers, celebritiesà You name it and theyÆre there!ö

ôI didnÆt see your name on the list,ö said Odelia.

ôIÆm too old for the dating game,ö he said with a wave of the hand. ôBut looks like the rest of the population isnÆt. So you go out there and you talk to as many people as you can. Cheated wives, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends. Jilted lovers, cheated partners. WeÆre going to cover this from every angle and go big on this story or go home. And IÆve already got the first interview lined up for you: Valina Fawn and Norwell Kulhanek have agreed to talk to theGazette and only theGazette. They wonÆt be giving any other interviews.ö

ôAn exclusive, huh?ö

ôAbsolutely. Me and Valina go way back. And also, she knows weÆll treat this with dignity and respect. Now get out there and bring me back some exciting copy! LetÆs sell some papers!ö

[╩α≡≥ΦφΩα: img_2]

I donÆt usually protest when Odelia drags me and Dooley along on one of her interviews, but today I felt I needed to lodge an official protest. IÆd just settled in for a nice nap on the couch she has installed in her office, and I didnÆt feel like traipsing off to talk to Valina Fawn about her site. I have this peculiar character defect, you see. I like to hunt down mysteries and solve them.

Whenever a murder is being committed in town, or some other crime, IÆm usually to be found taking a first-row seat and gathering the facts of the matter. But this was no mystery. This was just a tawdry story about hackers hacking yet another site, the way weÆve all read dozens or maybe even hundreds of stories the last couple of years. Hackers hack, usually forfinancial gain, and nobody seems to be able to stop them.

ôDo we have to go?ö I asked now, not hiding my reluctance.

ôYes, we do,ö said Odelia sternly. ôA crime was committed, Max. DonÆt you want to catch the people who are behind it?ö

ôWhatÆs the point?ö I argued. ôTheyÆre probably in Russia or China or North Korea, like all those hackers always seem to be. And since nobody can touch them, or bring them to justice, it all seems so utterly pointless, wouldnÆt you say?ö

ôNo, I would not,ö said Odelia. ôWe have plenty of homegrown hackers, and if we can find out who they are, itÆs going to make a huge difference.ö

I grudgingly admitted she might have a point, and dragged myself up from my couch.

ôYouÆre like Nero Wolfe, Max,ö said Dooley as we followed Odelia out.

ôHow so?ö I asked. As far as I know I donÆt have a strange predilection for orchids.

ôNero Wolfe is very choosy about which case he takes on, and so are you.ö

ôOur time is precious, Dooley,ö I said. ôAnd so we have to be selective.ö And also, I hadnÆt slept well last night. It seemed as if a lot of negative energy was buzzing through the air, centered around these horrendous dating sites. Harriet and Brutus had argued about Jack the sparrow, Tex and Marge about the doctorÆs presence on the site, and even Odelia and Chase had spent all night exchanging words that are not conducive to an atmosphere of peace and good will.

The offices of Valina Fawn were nice enough, dominated as they were by an orange-and-pink color scheme. I spotted a foosball table in the lounge, a ball bath and even a row of old-fashioned pinball machines. Clearly Valina held to the view shared by most Silicon Valley start-ups that to attract competent personnel, you have to treat them like five-year-olds.

Valina herself looked distraught, though she tried to hide it by plastering a big smile on her face when we walked into her office. She offered us herbal tea, or a special blend of coffee, or even organic lemonade, and Odelia opted for the latter. For us cats ValinaÆs assistant brought in a dish of purified water, which was nice and cool to our tongues.

Once weÆd taken a seat in a corner of ValinaÆs office, seated on orange chairs with bright yellow cushions, a man joined us who she introduced as Norwell Kulhanek.

ôIs heàö Dooley began.

ôEmma KulhanekÆs husband,ö I said.

Norwell was a compact man with a serious face and thick-framed, square glasses. He was clutching his phone as if it was a lifeline, and looked as reluctant to be there as I was.

ôI donÆt have a lot of time,ö he said. ôThe site needs my attention, as you can imagine.ö

ôOf course,ö said Odelia. ôAnd IÆm very grateful you wanted to sit down for this interview.ö

ôNorwell isnÆt just my business partner,ö said Valina, ôheÆs also the siteÆs main programmer.ö

ôOh, so maybe you could tell us how these hackers managed to get access to your clientsÆ data so easily,ö said Odelia, settling in with her organic lemonade and her tablet on her lap, stylus poised to take notes.

Norwell shot Odelia a look of extreme censure.ôItÆs a complicated topic, IÆm afraid. Very technical.ö

ôI donÆt mind,ö said Odelia. ôAnd IÆm sure theGazetteÆs readers would like to know.ö

And so for the next fifteen minutes Norwell expounded on the kind of topic that would send just about anyone who isnÆt an absolute computer nerd into a coma. I have to admit I tuned out after the first five minutes of his lengthy expos?. I confess IÆm not much of a computer person, especially when you get down into the nitty-gritty of the thing.

ôAre you sleeping, Max?ö asked Dooley finally.

ôPretty much,ö I admitted.

ôItÆs not going to be a very interesting interview, is it?ö

ôNot so much.ö

ôI thought Odelia was going to cover the human interest angle, but instead sheÆll have to write an article that might be a better fit forPC Magazine than theGazette.ö

And since I had the impression Norwell was only getting started, we wandered out into the corridor, to sniff up some of that local color that is so important for any journalist worth their salt, and in the meantime try and wrangle us some kibble in the process.

I mean, if the company hotshots donÆt mind bringing in ball baths and foosball tables, why not pets, too? I once read a story about a retirement home that keeps a goat on site. It has proven very enjoyable for the residents, as they get to pet said goat, and even feed it. Unfortunately it didnÆt take us long to discover a markeddearth of pets on the premises.

And weÆd just concluded our investigation by taking a long hard look at the cafeteria when Valina and Norwell came breezing in. Ostensibly for a refill, but in actual fact Norwell seemed eager to dispense with a few home truths.

ôIÆm sorry, Valina, but if anyone is going down for this, it wonÆt be me!ö

ôNobody is going down,ö said Valina as she fiddled with the coffee machine. It was one of those machines you need a college degree to operate, with plenty of nobs and levers.

ôThe only reason I agreed to do the interview is because my lawyers want me to appear cooperative, but if it wasnÆt for that, IÆd have been out of here already!ö

ôOh, so now weÆre talking to our lawyers already, are we? I didnÆt realize we were at that stage.ö

ôWake up, Valina. WeÆre long past that stage. All we can do now is damage control. And like I told you before, IÆm not going to watch a reputation I spent my entire career building destroyed through your sheer and utter incompetence!ö To add emphasis to his words, he was pointing a finger at the dating site owner, and stabbing it into her shoulder.

ôYour reputation! What aboutmy reputation? I created this site! It carries my name!ö

ôI donÆt care. ItÆs every man for himself now as far as IÆm concerned. If you need me, IÆll be in the basementùtrying to fix your screwup!ö

ôTheyÆre not exactly the best of friends, are they, Max?ö said Dooley as we watched Norwell leave. He hadnÆt even refilled his cup.

ôWhen the shit hits the fan, business partners rarely stay friends,ö I said. ôUsually their relationship is more along the lines of rats leaving a sinking ship.ö

ôRats!ö Dooley cried, jumping about a foot from the floor. ôWhere!ö

ôProverbial rats, Dooley,ö I explained. ôNot real ones.ö

ôOh, thank God. I donÆt like rats, Max.ö

ôWho does?ö

We decided to wander back to ValinaÆs office to see if Odelia was still awake after this bombardment with technical jargon. ôDo you think there are rats on Pettr, Max?ö

ôI doubt it,ö I said. ôWho would want to date a rat?ö

ôOther rats?ö

ôI guess so,ö I said doubtfully. ôThough rats arenÆt exactly known for their discernment and sense of good taste, are they? No doubt rats simply mate with the first mate they meet.ö

ôI think thereÆs probably a lot of things about rats that we donÆt know, Max. Maybe theyÆre more romantic than we think. Like the rest of the animal kingdom theyÆre capable of love and the finer emotions. For instance, I once heard that rats mate for life. But only the Californian rat.ö

ôAnd why is that?ö

ôI donÆt know. Maybe itÆs got something to do with the weather?ö

ôHere is something I heard,ö I said. ôYour average pair of rats can produce as much as half a billion offspring during their lifespan, which is usually three years.ö

ôThatÆs a lot of rats, Max,ö said Dooley with a shiver.

ôAnd I can assure you, Dooley, that romance doesnÆt feature into the thing. For rats itÆs quantity over quality all the way.ö

And as we passed by an office markedæAccountingÆ I found myself thinking that at Valina Fawn the same thing applied: the more people who signed up with the site, the more money ended up in the company coffers. For love or money? Evidently the latter.

Chapter 7

As far as I could tell, OdeliaÆs interview had been a big bust, but when we were in the car, driving back to the office, she told us that there was at least one upshot. One takeaway she was particularly happy about.

ôTurns out that Chase was telling the truth,ö she said as she steered her aged pickup along the road. ôI talked to one of the people in charge of programming, and asked if he could tell if a person signing up was the actual person or simply someone using their name and picture. He looked at ChaseÆs profile and could determine based on the IP address that the Chase Kingsley whoÆs advertising his rugged good looks and the fact that heÆs a cop on the site is based in Swarthmore, a suburb of Philadelphia, and not, as it turns out, here in Hampton Cove.ö

ôSo itÆs not Chase?ö Dooley asked.

ôNo, itÆs not. HeÆs telling the truth. And so, incidentally, are my dad and Uncle Alec. Uncle AlecÆs search history only lists variations of the criminal heÆs been looking for, and my dad doesnÆt even have much of a search history. In fact he only looked at two profiles, and one of those is Gran.ö

ôGran is on the site?ö I asked.

ôOf course she is. And so is Scarlett, by the way.ö

ôWhy doesnÆt that surprise me?ö

ôWhat was the other profile Tex looked at?ö asked Dooley.

Odelia smiled.ôMomÆs.ö

ôYour mom is on Valina Fawn!ö cried Dooley.

ôA fact she conveniently forgot to mention,ö Odelia pointed out.

Well, looked as if all the men in our family were officially in the clear.

ôSo thatÆs why you agreed to do the interview, and sit through that guy jabbering on about all of that nerdy stuff,ö I said.

Odelia nodded.ôI simply had to know. And this seemed like the only way to find out. These sites are notoriously protective of that kind of information, but now that theyÆve been so badly hit, theyÆre anxious for positive publicity. And so I promised to give them a positive write-upàö

ôIn exchange for some information on Chase.ö

ôWe heard a big argument between Valina and Norwell,ö said Dooley. ôMax says theyÆre like rats on a ship, though they didnÆt seem eager to mate and produce half a billion offspring in the next three years.ö

Odelia laughed.ôYeah, I already had the impression they werenÆt as matey as they made out to be.ö

ôNorwell says heÆs lawyering up,ö I said. ôSo they might get even less matey now.ö

ôUnderstandable. Norwell left a great career and relocated his family to get involved with Valina Fawn. If the site goes bust, itÆs his reputation and his future on the line. So heÆll want to distance himself as much as he can, and make sure his future employers know heÆs not to blame for the hack.ö

ôDo you think thereÆs negligence involved?ö I asked.

ôHard to say. And of course theyÆd never admit it. But if people are going to start suing them, the truth might come out eventually. And it wouldnÆt surprise me if they didnÆt take a few shortcuts when they built that site. Shortcuts that left a lot of peopleÆs private details very vulnerable indeed.ö

[╩α≡≥ΦφΩα: img_2]

That evening, I was happy to note that things were back to normal at Casa Kingsley. The couple were newly conciliated, and so were Tex and Marge, and even Uncle Alec and Charlene. Much to GranÆs disappointment, all three men had proved absolutely blameless, and the love light shone bright once again.

Odelia was looking at a site dispensing advice to expecting moms, and keeping Chase abreast of her findings.

ôDid you know that your boobs can grow up to two cup sizes?ö she said.

ChaseÆs eyebrows shot up. ôTwo cup sizes? Well how about that?ö

ôSome people seem to think that breastfeeding is a big no-no,ö she continued assimilating Dr. Google. ôThey say you should bottle-feed babies as much as possible.ö

ôAnd why is that?ö asked Chase, who was checking CNN on his phone.

ôFor one thing it might play havoc on your breasts. They might never be perky again.ö

ôI donÆt mind if you donÆt mind,ö said Chase. He gave his wife a grin. ôI like your boobies in any shape or size they come in, babe.ö

ôThe other reason is that some people seem to think that breast milk is bad for babies.ö

Chase frowned at this.ôSo the human species have been doing it all wrong for the past couple of million years? Who wrote this nonsense?ö

ôUmà One Marjorie Bricks from Massachusetts. She says sheÆs a licensed nurse.ö

ôWell, you can tell Marjorie Bricks that she can take her advice andùö

ôChase! ThereÆs kids around,ö said Odelia with a quick glance to me and Dooley, who were listening with rapt attention.

ôOh, right,ö said Chase, and patted our heads distractedly.

Harriet and Brutus now strode in through the pet flap, looking a little listless, I thought. Unfortunately their contretemps hadnÆt been rectified by OdeliaÆs findings. And so when Harriet hopped up onto the couch, miscalculated her approach shot and fell off again, instead of assisting his lady love, Brutus merely stood by and watched, a baleful look in his eye.

ôOh, lemon drop,ö said Harriet. ôDonÆt be like that.ö

ôLike what?ö Brutus grunted.

ôLike a big fat grump!ö

ôIÆll stop being a big fat grump when you stop cheating on me with a bird,ö Brutus rejoined.

ôIÆm not cheating on you with anyone!ö

Brutus now hopped up onto the couch and after having circled his spot thrice, as one does, finally lay down, still looking out of sorts.ôIÆll believe that when I see it,ö he grumbled.

ôMax, say something!ö said Harriet.

ôWhat do you want me to say?ö I asked.

ôTell Brutus heÆs the only one for me. And that no one will ever come between us, least of all some silly bird!ö

Brutus seemed mollified by HarrietÆs pleas. After all, how could he not? ItÆs not every day that someone pleads with you to believe in the purity of their intentions.

ôAll right,ö Brutus said finally. ôI believe you.ö

ôOh, thank you, Pookie,ö said Harriet.

Brutus smiled.ôIÆm sorry,ö he said, ôif I was being a big grump.ö

ôThatÆs okay,ö said Harriet. ôYouÆre my big grump.ö

ôOh, little monkey.ö

ôOh, snuggle bunny.ö

ôOh, sparky star.ö

ôOh, God,ö I moaned.

Just then, there was a strange sound at the window, and when we looked over, we saw that a bird was tapping against the pane with its beak. And when I looked closer, I saw that it was actually Jack the sparrow. When he saw that he finally had our attention, he drew himself up to his full heightùwhich was negligible I must sayùand started declamating loudly, ôHarriet, queen of my heart. IÆve written a poem especially for you!ö And before we could stop him, he cleared his throat, affected a strangely bleating diction, and trilled,

ôHarriet, IÆll marry it!

Harriet, IÆll love it!

Harriet, IÆll always be true!

Harriet, donÆt make me blue!ö

At the conclusion of this expression of his immortal soul, Jack took a bow.

Brutus turned to Harriet, eyes burning with righteous fury, then hopped down from the couch and strode off on a huff without another word, though his rigid shoulders and unnaturally still tail spoke volumes.

ôPookie!ö Harriet cried.

But Pookie was gone.

Chapter 8

It had already been a long day for Valina, and judging from the pile of work she still had on her desk, the day was about to turn into night with not a hope of a respite. Of course when you run your own business you canÆt expect to keep regular hours, but this was getting ridiculous.

She hadnÆt eaten a decent meal in days, practically hadnÆt seen her own bed in just as long, and in spite of all her efforts, the site was still in as precarious a position as when this whole disaster had struck.

SheÆd always had a soft spot for programmers, website designers and all manner of geek or nerd, but ever since her site was hacked, she hated the species with a vengeance. She imagined some army of nerds sitting in a basement somewhere thinking up ways and means of destroying other peopleÆs livelihood. It was digital vandalism, pure and simple, and if she could drag those shits through their monitor and skin them alive, she would.

She now settled back in her chair and rubbed her tired eyes. SheÆd managed to convince Norwell to stick with her, and the man had pulled off no mean feat by securing the site and plugging any hole that had made them vulnerable in the first place. Now all she had to do was convince people that this had been just a slight hiccup and that soon things would all go back to normal.

Oh, heck. Who was she kidding? Things would never go back to normal. ItÆs one thing for a single person to have their private information leaked, but quite another for a happily married husband suddenly to see his name associated with a dating site. Judging from the avalanche of online abuse the site had suffered in the last twelve hours, a lot of people were very upset with her right now.

Then again, if youÆre going to cheat on your spouse, why not have the guts to come out into the open and admit to it? Why blame the middlemanùor middlewoman, as in this case? She was, after all, simply a conduit for these peopleÆs adulterous ways.

And as she tried to focus on the letters on her laptop screen, which all seemed to dance and do the boogie-woogie, she suddenly thought she heard a sound coming from the big office next to her own corner office.

ôHello!ö she called out. ôWhoÆs there?ö

Probably a cleaner. Or someone having forgotten their wallet or phone.

But when she focused and listened some more, she didnÆt hear anything, and soon was immersed in the email she was writing once more. She wanted to shoot this one off now, so everyone would receive it in the morning when they arrived for work. It was one of those missives from the big brass that people tend to write at a time of crisis. Rallying thetroops, and hoping they wonÆt leave what they perceive as a sinking ship.

And as she was trying to think up a nice turn of phrase that wouldnÆt sound as harsh as ædisaster,Æ suddenly she thought she heard the sound of a footfall. And when she looked up, at first she couldnÆt really see anything, what with her eyesight having suffered from the strain of looking at a laptop screen for hours on end.

But when she finally focused, she saw that a black-clad person had materialized in her office. The figure was simply standing there, staring at her for some reason.

ôYes?ö she said, frowning. ôWhat do you want?ö

But even as she spoke the words, the person shifted, and she saw they were holding what looked like a bow in their hands. Then the bow was raised, and before she fully realized what she was seeing, there was a swooshing sound, then athwack! and pain suddenly bloomed in her chest.

She gasped to draw breath, but it was to no avail.

Her lungs refused to comply with such a simple demand.

Perhaps it was because her heart had already stopped beating.

Chapter 9

I really hadnÆt thought weÆd be back at the offices of Valina Fawn so quickly. Only whereas yesterday we were there for an exclusive interview with the siteÆs principals, today we were there in a completely different capacity. One that wasnÆt quite as pleasant.

ôItÆs strange, isnÆt it, Max?ö said Dooley when we found ourselves staring up at the not-quite-alive Valina. ôYesterday she was alive, and now sheÆs dead. How did that happen?ö

ôThatÆs for Chase and Odelia to find out,ö I said as I studied the body more closely.

ôNo, but I mean, we only saw her yesterday, and now sheÆs gone. It makes you think.ö

ôYes, it most certainly does. For instance, who might have done this to her?ö

ôI was thinking more about life and death and that kind of stuff,ö said my friend the philosopher. ôI mean, the human body is quite fragile, isnÆt it? That it only takes a minor incident like this to make it stop functioning at full capacity?ö

ôNot just the human body, Dooley. Any body will stop functioning when you shoot an arrow through its heart.ö

ôBut why, Max? ShouldnÆt the heart be made of sterner stuff? ItÆs just a little bit of metal, after all. No reason why that should stop the heart from working properly.ö

ôWell, it would appear it did the trick in this case,ö I said.

ôWho found her?ö asked Chase to one of the officers on the scene.

ôCleaner, sir. Came in here around seven to clean the office and called it in. Said she had a lot of trouble convincing the dispatcher that she was reporting an actual crime.ö

ôWhat do you mean?ö

ôDispatcher seemed to think she was playing a practical joke on her. Said that wasting police time is a punishable offense and if she didnÆt get off the phone sheÆd sue her.ö

Chase shared a look of annoyance with Odelia, then nodded.ôIÆll take care of it.ö

Abe Cornwall, the county coroner, was standing over the body, closely inspecting the wound. Then he stretched, planting his fists in his back and wincing. There was a slight creaking sound as his vertebrae resumed their regular working position.ôItÆs the climate,ö he explained without invitation. ôI need to go off someplace warm. Florida would be nice. Work miracles for my joints.ö

ôSo what do we have, Abe?ö asked Chase, showing an appalling lack of interest in AbeÆs joints or his desire for warmer climes.

ôWell, sheÆs dead, all right,ö said Abe. ôShot through the heart with an arrow, I would say. Does the trick every time.ö

ôWhatÆs with the toy?ö asked Chase, referring to the small plush bear sitting in the dead womanÆs lap.

ôThatÆs Cupid,ö said Odelia. ôItÆs Valina FawnÆs logo. She uses it on everything. On the site, promotional materials, social mediaàö

The dead dating site leader sat bolt upright in her chair, eyes open and staring into space. The arrow had passed right through her, and had lodged itself in the chair, keeping her pinned in her final position.

ôShe must have been facing her attacker, wouldnÆt you say?ö asked Odelia.

ôYeah, I wonder what she saw,ö Chase murmured. He glanced around. ôNo cameras, unfortunately, and nothing to tell us who her attacker might have been.ö

ôWhen did she die?ö asked Odelia.

ôIÆd say between midnight and two oÆclock,ö said Abe, ôbut donÆt pin me down on it,ö he added with a grin. His feeble attempt at humor clearly wasnÆt appreciated, and he proceeded to give instructions to the crime scene technicians processing the office.

The same officer from before now walked up holding a plastic evidence bag. It contained a smartphone.ôMiss FawnÆs phone, sir,ö he said. ôLast call she received was from a Norwell Kulhanek. This would have been at twelve-thirty. Call was refused. Oh, and Mr. KulhanekÆs key card was used to access the building at one-fifteen. He was the last person to enter the building. We donÆt know when he leftùexits arenÆt logged.ö

ôAnd before then? Who was the last person to enter?ö

The officer produced what looked like a log.ôLast person to enter was Miss Fawn herself, at six oÆclock last night. And then the first entry after Mr. Kulhanek is the cleaner using her own key card. She was logged in at six forty-five this morning.ö

ôInteresting,ö said Chase. ôThanks, Randal. Good job.ö

ôThanks, sir,ö said the young officer, looking pleased as punch.

ôWe better have a chat with our Mr. Kulhanek,ö said Chase.

ôI interviewed him yesterday,ö said Odelia. ôHe and Valina presented a united front, but later on Max and Dooley heard them arguing about who was responsible for the hack. He threatened to sue.ö

ôYou have an address for this Kulhanek character?ö

But if Odelia did have an address for the man, she didnÆt need to dig it out, for at that moment the guy suddenly materialized in the office. And as he stood there, rooted to the spot, and staring at the body of his business partner, he uttered a strangled sort of cry.

Chase cursed under his breath.ôWhat part of æseal off the placeÆ is so hard to understand?ö he said, and walked out with long-legged stride to rectify the situation.

Odelia was left to deal with Norwell, who was staggering slightly. She escorted him out of the office and then into one of the empty offices to the side of the big open-office space that was the main hub of all the activity.

ôI heard that something had happened,ö Norwell explained as he absentmindedly wiped his brow with the back of his hand, ôbut I didnÆtà I neveràö He looked up at Odelia. ôIs sheàö

Odelia nodded.ôIÆm afraid so.ö

ôBut how? When? Who?ö

ôThatÆs what weÆre trying to find out.ö

ôButà I saw her just yesterday. She was fine.ö

ôSee?ö said Dooley. ôHeÆs also surprised, Max.ö

ôI think weÆre all surprised, Dooley. ItÆs a natural reaction.ö

ôI talked to her. We discussed strategies. Trying to get us out of this situation.ö

ôIs it true that you threatened to sue?ö asked Odelia. ôClaiming this whole business was bad for your reputation?ö

The man stared at her for a moment, then said,ôYes, well, in the heat of the moment I probably said a few things I shouldnÆt have said. But then when we talked things through, I decided to stick around and help her deal with the fallout. Make the site bulletproof. Valina had a strategy in place. She wanted to use this hack as an opportunity to sell Valina Fawn as the best-protected, safest dating site on the market. She was great at that sort of thing.ö

ôThe thing is, Mr. Kulhanek,ö said Odelia, ôthat your key card was used to access the building last night. In fact you were the last person to enter the office. According to the log this was at one-fifteen.ö

Silence reigned for a few minutes, while Norwell processed this information.ôI donÆt get it,ö he said. ôYouÆre saying I was here last night?ö

Odelia simply stared at him. She wasnÆt as good at this as Chase, but good enough to make Norwell blanch.

ôBut I wasnÆt,ö he finally blurted out. ôI was home at that time. My wifeùEmma will tell you. I was up until two, working out the kinks and trying to come up with a new design for the site infrastructure. We were going for a complete redesign. Rebuild the whole thing from the ground up. The original programmer who designed the current iteration left last year, and honestly when I came on board and saw what a mess he made of things, I was frankly appalled. Spaghetti code, we call it: you start with something, and you just keep on building and adding stuff, and soon the whole thing gets completely out of hand. But when I came on board initially Valina didnÆt want to go for a full redesign, which was going to take time and was going to run into money. I pushed hard for it, and she finally realized with the hack that I was right all along: that spaghetti code had left the site vulnerable, with holes like Swiss cheese.ö

Chase entered the office and closed the glass door behind him.ôCan I see your key card, please, sir?ö he asked immediately.

ôIùIÆm afraid I donÆt have it anymore,ö said Norwell, turning a hunted look at Chase now. ôI tried to enter the building just now and discovered that I seem to have lost it.ö

ôYou lost it,ö said Chase in a flat tone that didnÆt conceal his disbelief.

ôYes! IÆm telling you it wasnÆt in my wallet when I arrived this morning. The security guy had to buzz me in.ö

Chase studied the manÆs face. Norwell was sweating now, I saw, and looking from Chase to Odelia. It didnÆt help that it was particularly hot in the office, and the atmosphere was muggy and uncomfortable.

ôWhen was the last time you saw that card?ö asked Chase finally.

ôWell, yesterday morning, when I arrived for work.ö

ôYou didnÆt see it after you entered the building yesterday?ö

ôNoùyou donÆt pay attention to something like that, do you? Only when you need it.ö

ôAnd the only time you need that card is to gain access to the building?ö

ôYes. I know that in other places they use their key cards for all kinds of stuff, even to get the coffee machine working or go the bathroom, but not here. ItÆs strictly an access card to get into the building. Which maybe,ö he said with a thoughtful frown, ôis something we should look at. Restrict access to specific areas like the server room.ö

He seemed to have forgotten already that his business partner had been brutally murdered last night, his programmer mind turning to problems that needed solving.

I could tell that he was probably a great software engineer, but without Valina Fawn, the company was likely destined for the scrapheap of history now.

ôOne other matter, Mr. Kulhanek,ö said Chase. ôDid you call Valina last night?ö

ôYes. Yes, I did.ö

ôWhat did you talk about?ö

ôIùwell, she didnÆt pick up, actually.ö

ôWhy did you call her?ö

ôWell, to discuss the redesign, of course. SheÆd told me she wanted me to get started immediately. Make sure that we had something we could promise our clients. Though of course it was going to take weeks, maybe even months. I called to bounce off some ideas.ö

ôWere you upset when she didnÆt pick up?ö

ôNot really. I figured she was probably busy. Or asleep. It was pretty late when I called. IÆd been working, you see, and when IÆm busy I tend to lose track of time.ö

ôSo you didnÆt jump into your car and drive to the office to talk things through with her in person when you couldnÆt reach her on the phone?ö asked Chase.

ôNo! What is this? YouÆre not accusing me ofàö He pushed his glasses back up his sweaty nose. ôI just figured weÆd talk in the morning. She had a conference call scheduled with some of our investors, and wanted to be ready to give them some good news to counter all the bad publicity thesite has been getting. WeÆve been hemorrhaging customers, as you can imagine, and she wanted to stop the bleed as soon as possible.ö

Chase eyed the man closely, and let the silence stretch on for a few minutes, then finally nodded and said,ôPlease keep yourself available for further interviews, sir.ö

ôI-I didnÆt kill her, if thatÆs what youÆre suggesting.ö

ôIÆm not suggesting anything, Mr. Kulhanek.ö

ôOkay, wellà that-thatÆs fine, I guess. So umà can I go now?ö

ôFor now,ö Chase allowed tersely, and we watched the programmer walk out.

ôSo what do you think?ö asked Chase the moment the man was gone.

ôHe sounded honest enough,ö Odelia determined.

ôSo if heÆs to be believed someone stole his key card yesterday, then used it last night to gain access to the building and to murder Valina Fawn?ö

ôWhoever it was must have known that Valina was going to work late.ö

ôAnd must have had access to Norwell at some point yesterday.ö

ôAnd must be able to handle bow and arrow with some proficiency.ö

ôI wouldnÆt say someùIÆd say a high degree of proficiency. That was a crack shot, babe. Straight through the heart at the first try. No other marks on the womanÆs body.ö

ôFrom what distance does Abe think the arrow was shot?ö

ôToo soon to tell, IÆm afraid,ö said Chase. ôWhy?ö

ôThe further away the killer was standing, the better his aim.ö

Chase nodded.ôI agree. So weÆre probably looking at a member of the Brookwell Archery Club for our killer.ö

ôIs Norwell Kulhanek a member?ö

ôWouldnÆt surprise me if he is.ö

ôSo you still thinkàö

ôI wouldnÆt discount him. You said it yourself last night. The guy left a lucrative career to come to Hampton Cove and become a partner in Valina Fawn. His wife had to change careers, his kids had to change schoolsà WeÆre talking a major shift in lifestyle here. And all of a sudden disasterstrikes in the form of this hack. He blames Valina, they argue, he threatens to sue for reputational damages, she tries to mollify him by promising a complete site overhaul, spouting some soundbites about using this as an opportunity but of course he knows better. Knows it might spell the end of a promising career.ö

ôSo he uses his own key card to enter the office and shoot her?ö

Chase grimaced.ôYou saw him. The guy is a nervous wreck. He wasnÆt thinking straight.ö

ôStill. There are less conspicuous ways to kill a person. And whoever killed Valina added that plush Cupid to make it clear he was targeting both her and her site.ö

ôSo a disgruntled customer?ö

ôOr a disgruntled spouse.ö

Chapter 10

ValinaÆs personal assistant Meghan Fray was the next person being led into our makeshift interview room. She was a raven-haired woman in her mid-twenties with remarkable sea-green eyes and wearing the same kind of business suit her boss favored. She was crisp to the point of bluntness, and far from being shocked by the murder of her employer seemed more annoyed by it, as if ValinaÆs death had messed up her plans.

ôValina was under a lot of pressure, as you can imagine,ö said Meghan. ôWe all were, actually. You wouldnÆt believe the phone calls weÆve been getting, and the emails. People even showed up at the office, demanding we pay them back their membership fees, or threatening with lawsuits. ItÆs been a very difficult time.ö

ôAnyone in particular stick out?ö asked Chase.

Meghan smoothed the hem of her skirt.ôWellà one person did seem more determined to talk with Valina. We all tried to shield her as much as possible from all the abuse, of course, but this woman wouldnÆt take no for an answer. And since sheÆs in a position to create a lot of trouble for us, Valina finally decided to take her call. She later told me it was one of the worst five minutes of her life. The woman was absolutely furious, and demanded access to her partnerÆs private informationùinformation that luckily wasnÆt part of the leak. Things like the profiles he looked at, times he swiped right, dates set up. That kind of thing. Lucky for us the guy was in the clear. Had never once swiped right.ö

Odelia frowned.ôWhat is the name of this woman?ö

ôUmà Charlene Butterwick,ö said Meghan. ôThe Mayor of Hampton Cove?ö

Odelia and Chase both looked appropriately surprised by this piece of news.ôCharlene Butterwick caused Valina to experience the worst five minutes of her life?ö asked Odelia.

ôThatÆs what she said. Mayor Butterwick has the power to close us down, you see. Or at least thatÆs what Valina said. And also, her partner is a cop or someà thingàö Her voice trailed off as she stared at Chase, then grimaced. ôHeÆs your boss, isnÆt he?ö

Chase nodded.

ôOh, God.ö

ôHeÆs a cop, Miss Fray. Not an ax murderer,ö said Chase dryly.

ôHe also happens to be my uncle,ö said Odelia, ôand I can assure you heÆs a great guy.ö

But Meghan didnÆt look convinced. What she was convinced of was that sheÆd just made a very serious faux pas. ôLook, weÆre all on edge here. Valina more than the rest of us. Her business was on the line, and she worked around the clock to make things right. And now this.ö She shook her head, and I couldsee the lines on her forehead. She might not show it, but she was indeed affected by her bossÆs murder.

ôIs there anyone else you can think of who might have done this?ö asked Odelia gently.

ôApart from the Mayor and the Chief of Police?ö Chase added for good measure.

MeghanÆs eyelid twitched. The woman was feeling the strain. ôI can think of a couple of hundred people who might have done this. Or even a thousand. You canÆt imagine how angry people are, detective. You should see some of the emails weÆve received.ö

ôOn another note,ö said Chase, ôNorwell Kulhanek claims his key card was stolen yesterday. Do you have any idea who might be responsible? Maybe something you saw or overheard?ö

Meghan thought for a moment, then shook her head.ôNo, IÆm sorry. This is the first IÆve heard of NorwellÆs key card going missing. Are you sure he hasnÆt simply misplaced it? The man is notoriously distracted when it comes to practical things. He once walked into a meeting with Chinese investors wearing bathroom slippers. HeÆd left the house wearing them, walked into the office, and into the meeting, and never once noticed.ö

And as Chase wrote down his email address, so Meghan could send him those nasty emails Valina had been getting, the PA looked down at OdeliaÆs belly and smiled. ôCongratulations,ö she said. ôHow many months?ö

ôSixteen weeks,ö said Odelia. ôThat obvious, huh?ö

ôIÆve got three sisters with ten kids between them, so you can call me an expert.ö

ôHow about you? No plans in that department?ö

ôFirst IÆll have to find the right guy.ö

ôIÆd imagine that shouldnÆt be a problem, working for a dating site.ö

ôItÆs harder, actually. When youÆve worked for Valina Fawn for as long as I have, you kinda lose faith in mankindùespecially the male segment, I should add.ö She quickly glanced over to Chase. ôHeÆsàö

ôMy husband, yes,ö said Odelia.

ôYou should count yourself lucky that you found one of the good guys. ThereÆs a lot of jerks out there, Mrs. Kingsley. And I do mean a lot.ö

[╩α≡≥ΦφΩα: img_2]

ôSo Charlene, huh?ö said Chase as we got into his car. ôWho would have thought?ö

ôSheÆs a very passionate woman,ö said Odelia as she strapped herself in. ôSo when she found out that Uncle Alec was on ValinaÆs site, she must have been furious.ö

ôI hope she wasnÆt furious enough to drive over here last night and kill Valina.ö

ôUh-oh,ö said Odelia, and held up her phone for ChaseÆs benefit, then for ours. It showed a video of Charlene in full archery regalia, holding up bow and arrow and smiling at the camera. As the video started playing, Charlene let rip an excellent shot, and as the camera zoomed in on the target, it showed the arrow, feathered vanes still quivering, as it pierced the center of the target. æPerfect shot!Æ Charlene cried jubilantly.

ôIf Charlene killed Valina, do you think Uncle Alec will make the arrest?ö asked Dooley.

ôI doubt it,ö I said. ôHeÆll probably let Chase do the honors. And besides, I very much doubt that Charlene is a killer.ö

ôShe could have been carried away by her emotions.ö

ôPossible,ö I allowed. Though Charlene didnÆt strike me as a killer. She probably had other means at her disposal when dealing with a businessperson that provoked her ire. Like having them arrested for being in violation of some obscure council regulation.

ôIÆm still thinking about that Cupid doll, Max,ö said Dooley. ôThat wasnÆt very nice, was it?ö

ôMurder usually isnÆt nice, Dooley.ö

ôNo, but Cupid is supposed to fire an arrow through the heart of the people heÆs trying to link, isnÆt he? Only here he shot a real arrow, and instead of linking Valina in love, it killed her. It just makes you sit up and think, doesnÆt it?ö

ôIt certainly made Valina sit up and think.ö

ôAs if the killer was trying to send a message.ö

ôYes, that seems to be very obvious.ö

ôThe message that love kills, Max.ö

ôI donÆt know if thatÆs what the killer was going for, exactly.ö

ôNo, but he was. This person who killed Valina, he was probably in love with her, only she turned him down and this is why he killed her. Unrequited love, Max. ItÆs no laughing matter.ö

ôWhoÆs laughing, Dooley?ö

He gave me a puzzled look. But before he could respond, Chase was parking his car in front of Town Hall, and moments later we were strolling in, determined to find out how Charlene had given Valina such a fright.

We found Charlene seated behind her mayoral desk, busy doing mayoral things and looking very mayoral indeed. Behind her, instead of a portrait of herself, a large map of Hampton Cove hung, and across from her, a big landscape portraying that same Hampton Cove, only presumably in some day of old, since I could see horse-drawn carriages, which isnÆt something you see in the streets nowadays.

She rose when we entered the office and gestured to two intricately carved wooden chairs in front of her desk.ôTake a seat. What can I get you? Tea? Coffee? YouÆre here about that dreadful business with Valina, I presume? How can I help you?ö She then crossed her fingers and looked at us intently, ready to be of assistance.

ôThe thing is, Charlene,ö said Odelia, ôthat you called Valina yesterday, and made some threatening noises, apparently. So threatening, in fact, that you scared the living daylights out of her.ö

Instead of looking rueful, Charlene actually broke into laughter.ôI did! Yes, youÆre absolutely right. I called her and gave her a good verbal beating, IÆm afraid. Of course at the time I was feeling a little overwrought.ö She held up her hands. ôNow I know what they say. Never pick up the phone in anger. Count to ten and take a deep breath. But I mustsay I didnÆt feel like counting to ten, or taking a deep breath. I felt like going in there, guns blazing, and letting her have it, double-barreled. And yes, I probably shouldnÆt have done that, and in hindsight IÆm sorry I did, but whatÆs done is done. And if you must know, what she told me took the sting out of the whole thing, and I felt much, much calmer.ö

ôShe told you that Alec never swiped right, never went out on a date, and was only interested in looking at profiles of women answering to the description of this so-called Black Widow,ö said Odelia.

ôThatÆs exactly what she said. And thatÆs exactly what I needed to hear. So I apologized, told her I still thought it was a rotten thing to do to expose her clients like that, and hoped sheÆd fix her site so it wouldnÆt happen again, and she promised me she would and that was that.ö

ôSo you didnÆt go down there last night and shoot an arrow through her heart?ö asked Chase.

CharleneÆs eyebrows rose. ôOh, my God! How can you even ask me that!ö Then she closed her eyes and made a waving gesture with her hands. ôIÆm sorry. Of course you have to ask me that. After that phone callàö She opened her eyes again and placed her hands flat on her desk. ôI did not go downto the offices of Valina Fawn last night, and I did not shoot Valina through the heart with an arrow. You happy now? Are we good?ö

ôItÆs not a question of me being happy or unhappy, Charlene,ö Chase grunted, looking distinctly unhappy, I would have said, ôbut of asking the kinds of routine questions we always ask under these circumstances. When we talked to ValinaÆs PA she told us that your call was responsible for the worst five minutes in ValinaÆs life. And then of course thereÆs this.ö He nodded to Odelia, who placed her phone on the desk and played that video.

Charlene watched it dispassionately.ôIÆd completely forgotten about that, actually,ö she murmured. ôWhen was this?ö She frowned at the screen. ôOh, thatÆs right.ö

ôWhere was this taken?ö asked Odelia.

ôYou know where it was taken, Odelia,ö said Charlene with a touch of stiffness.

ôBrookwell,ö said Odelia.

Charlene nodded and leaned back in her chair, then gazed out through her window at the scudding gray clouds.ôBefore I met your uncle, I was a single woman for a long time. A widow, actually. I met Jim at Brookwell, and for a while we were the clubÆs top archers. Won all the competitions, had a great time. We got married a year after we met, and I was happyùactually happy that IÆd found the great love of my life. Until one of the other club members told me that sheÆd seen Jim kissing a girl in the dressing rooms late one night. It soon transpired that Jim hadnÆt just kissed this one girl, but a whole slew of girls. Turned out that he had quite a reputation at the club as a ladiesÆ man,though I would have used a different word for his behavior. When I confronted him he said it was just a dallianceùor dalliances, pluralùand none of it meant anything. Not really. He seemed to expect IÆd tolerate his behavior. As if sleeping with other women was what all men did. Jim died fromheart failure before I had a chance to divorce him, but I would haveùin a flash.ö

ôMy God,ö Odelia said.

ôIt took me a long time to get over the betrayal, and when I met your uncle it took me an even longer time to accept that not all men are like Jim. That there actually are some decent men out there. So naturally when I discovered that AlecÆs name was on that listàö

ôIt brought back your ex-husbandÆs betrayal.ö

Charlene nodded.

ôWhat about Brookwell?ö

ôThe moment I found out about JimÆs affair, I quit the club and have never set foot back there again. Too many bad memories connected with that place now. Good memories, too, of course, as you can probably tell from that video, but unfortunately the bad ones seem to have a habit of canceling out the good ones.ö

ôDo you still have a bow lying around, Charlene?ö asked Chase.

Charlene shot him an intent look, then finally shook her head.ôI burned it. All of it.ö

Chapter 11

The Brookwell Archery Club is located on what had once been a farmerÆs field but where now a clubhouse had been erected and several lanes where club members could practice their art. Carlotta Brook, along with her husband Dennis, was on hand to answer a few questions about the club, and even though they didnÆt look overly concerned, it was obvious from the way Dennis kept a steady eye on Chaseùnot unlike the eye he kept on his target when firing off another arrow from his quiverùhe wasnÆt completely at ease.

Then again, when the police drop by asking a lot of questions in connection to a murder inquiry, it takes a strong soul not to be affected. Even innocent people tend to crack under the strain when seated across from Chase when heÆs got his copÆs cap firmly lodged on his cranium.

ôSo, Dennis. I couldnÆt help but notice that your name was on the Valina Fawn site,ö said Chase, opening the interview with a shot across the bow.

ôYes,ö said Dennis, shooting a quick glance at his wife. ôYes, it was.ö

Carlotta had turned her head away and was staring icily in the opposite direction.

We were seated in the clubroom, where usually a fun and frolicking atmosphere prevails, but which was now completely devoid of club members.

ôThough IÆd like to go on record and say that I never cheated on Carlotta. Not even once. Sorry, what did you say, darling?ö

Carlotta had produced a sort of disparaging snort, but otherwise kept mum.

ôNo, but what I mean to say, I never once went out with anyone. I never even swept up, or down, or whatever it is you do on these sites.ö

ôSwipe right if itÆs a match, I believe,ö said Chase.

ôYes. Yes, of course. Swipe right. Well, I never did. I only swiped left.ö

Carlotta turned back to her husband, looking furious.ôYou told me you never swiped at all! That the only reason you were on the site in the first place was to see what Jaymie was up to!ö

ôJaymie?ö asked Odelia.

ôOur daughter,ö said Dennis, nervously licking his lips. ôShe told us she was on the site, and so I created a profile just to see what it was all about.ö

ôTo spy on your daughter, you mean,ö said Chase.

ôNo! Absolutely not. Justà well, you know. Keep up, I guess.ö He smiled an obsequious smile that didnÆt quite meet his eyes. In fact he had a sort of hunted look on his face that reminded me of certain species of dogs when theyÆve been bad and are locked up in their kennel for the night, so they can have a good long think about their appalling behavior.

ôDo you think Dennis was locked up in the doghouse last night, Max?ö asked Dooley, proving he was on the same page.

ôIt wouldnÆt surprise me,ö I said as I took in the manÆs furtive behavior. He even looked a little unkempt, I thought. As if he had slept in these same clothes.

ôLook, darling, I never meant for you to find outùI mean it wasnÆt my intention for you toàö His voice trailed off, and he slumped a little more in his seat.

ôWhat can you tell us about your movements last night?ö asked Chase, deciding to put the guy out of his misery. ôLetÆs say between midnight and two oÆclock this morning?ö

ôI was home,ö said Carlotta. ôFast asleep at that time as usual. Early to bed, early to rise has been my motto ever since I was a professional archer.ö

ôAnd you, sir?ö asked Odelia.

ôMe?ö Dennis said in a small voice. ôWellà home, of course.ö

ôYou werenÆt together?ö asked Chase.

ôIf you really must know, Dennis slept on the couch last night,ö said Carlotta, with a seething glance at her errant spouse. ôAnd if itÆs up to me, heÆd better get used to it.ö

ôBut, darling, with my bad backàö

ôYou should have thought of that before you started fooling around with your whores!ö Carlotta spat.

ôBut I neverà I mean, I didnÆt evenà Oh, darlingùhow can you be so cruel!ö

ôCruel! YouÆre the one being cruel, Dennis. And on the evening of our wedding anniversary, too!ö She turned to Chase and Odelia. ôWe were going to organize a big party here at the club for our fifteenth wedding anniversary, but of course thatÆs all off now.ö

ôCaterers have been booked,ö Dennis murmured, looking in the dumps, ôa live band is going to playùthe HootenanniesùIÆve got the hippest DJ of the moment booked for the nightùDJ Carl Quickù invitations have been sentùtwo hundred of themàö He sighed, and chanced a quick glance to his wife, but her implacable expression spoke volumes.

ôSo no one can actually vouch for your whereabouts last night?ö asked Chase.

ôUnless I crawled down through the window, Dennis would have noticed if I left the house. And I would have noticed if he crept out during the night, since the garage is right underneath the bedroom. But why would he sneak out to murder Valina? She gave him everything he needed. An unlimited supply of backstabbing, home-wreckingwhores!ö

ôHoney, please!ö Dennis pleaded. ôWhat will people think!ö

ôTheyÆll think youÆre dog excrement, Dennis, and theyÆd be thinking correctly.ö

ôDarling!ö

ôSpare me the phony tears,ö said Carlotta, holding up her hand and turning away again.

ôDid any of you drop by Valina Fawn at any point yesterday?ö asked Chase.

Carlotta frowned.ôWhy would I want to go near the woman? And to think she was a member of the same book club and never even hinted that sheÆd lured my husband to his doom. Talk about duplicitous.ö

ôYou, Dennis?ö asked Chase.

ôNo, I certainly didnÆt go anywhere near the place yesterdayùor any other day.ö

ôDo you know Norwell Kulhanek well?ö

ôIsnÆt he EmmaÆs husband?ö asked Carlotta. And when Odelia nodded, she said, ôI donÆt think IÆve ever met the man. IsnÆt he a computer programmer or something?ö

ôHeÆs the lead programmer on the Valina Fawn site,ö said Odelia.

This seemed to come as a surprise to Carlotta.ôSo Emma and Valinaàö

ôEmma isnÆt involved in the site. At all,ö Odelia was quick to say.

ôOh. Well, at least thereÆs that.ö

ôI never met the man,ö Dennis muttered miserably when Chase gave him an inquisitive look. ôAnd as far as I know, neither he or Emma are members here at the club.ö

There didnÆt seem to be a need to ask the Brooks if they could think of anyone who would want to harm Valina. It was obvious there were plenty of candidates to choose from.

ôIÆm going to need to list of all your members,ö said Chase now.

ôWhy is that?ö asked Dennis.

ôBecause of the way she was murdered, of course,ö said Carlotta. ôHavenÆt you been paying attention?ö

ôHowàö Dennis began.

ôShe was shot with an arrow, Dennis! Straight through the heart. And if you ask me, the killer was much too kind. He should have shot her through the spleen. Very painful deathùor so IÆm told.ö

As we walked back to the car, Chase was studying the list Dennis had printed out in his office. He whistled when he spotted one particular name.ôAdra Elfman,ö he said, ôand if memory serves, I think I saw a Mr. Elfman on ValinaÆs list of clients.ö

ôThere could be others,ö said Odelia as she opened the door so we could hop into the car. ôWe better cross-reference both lists. We may come across a few more surprises.ö

Chapter 12

ôCarlotta Brook is an Olympic archer,ö said Odelia once we were en route. ôShe actually won Olympic gold in her discipline.ö

ôAll the more reason to put her on our list of suspects,ö Chase grunted as he checked the GPS display. ôAnd by the looks of things her husband could be next.ö

ôYes, she seems to be very upset with Dennis at the moment.ö

ôUpset! If looks could kill the man would already have died the most excruciating death. She said the killer was being kind.IÆm being kind by not arresting her on the spot.ö He frowned. ôDo you think I should have arrested her? Just to make sure she doesnÆt kill Dennis?ö

ôI really donÆt think Carlotta is a killer,ö said Odelia. ôSheÆs the only one who readTears in the Mud from cover to cover and even supplied Mom with some apt questions to discuss in book club.ö

ôYour point being?ö

ôThat sheÆs a deeply sensitive and romantic soul, who wouldnÆt hurt a fly.ö

ôYou can like a book and still be a vicious killer, babe. One doesnÆt exclude the other, as I think prison librarians will tell you.ö

ôDo you think Carlotta killed Valina, Max?ö asked Dooley.

ôToo soon to tell,ö I said. ôThough she certainly had motive and means. I donÆt know about that key card, though. Seems unlikely that she had access to Norwell yesterday. Though she and Emma are both members of MargeÆs book club, but unless Carlotta dropped by EmmaÆs yesterdayà No, Norwell spent all day at the office, and he took his key card with him. So that seems to be out of the question.ö I frowned. ôThis whole thing seems to revolve around that key card. Who had access to it and when?ö

ôHe had it when he went to work in the morning, so whoever took it,ö said Dooley, ômust have taken it at the office somehow.ö

ôWhich narrows down our list of suspects considerably.ö

Odelia, whoÆd been listening to our conversation, said, ôIt does, doesnÆt it? We better check in again with Norwell. Have him go through his day, from the moment he arrived until he went to bed. Whether he dropped by a shop, or the fitness club, or even took the dog for a walk. We need to know when the killer had the opportunity to get that key card.ö

ôUnless Norwell is our guy,ö I said. ôIn which case itÆs pretty obvious how he did it.ö

ôYes, obvious, but not necessarily true,ö said Odelia.

She pored over the two lists now, the Brookwell member list and the Valina Fawn client list.ôThere are too many names here to do this on the fly,ö she finally admitted.

ôI already sent both lists to one of my officers,ö said Chase. ôTheyÆll handle it.ö

WeÆd arrived at the cozy little home of the Elfmans, Adra and Gene. A nice apron of green with plenty of colorful flowers fronted the house, which was obviously well-kept. Chase parked his squad pickup and we all got out. Moments later we were sitting in a small but pleasantly furnished living room, Odelia and Chase sipping from cups of coffee, and Dooley and I being fed a piece of cold chicken that tasted quite delicious.

ôI like being a detective, Max,ö said Dooley. ôPeople are always so nice to us.ö

ôThatÆs because they donÆt want to go to prison,ö I said. Though we werenÆt always received in this way. Some people, when they opened the door and found a cop flashing a badge in their faces, slammed the door shut and made a run for it through the backdoor.

Of course both Adra and her husband Gene were probably not sprightly enough to try and shake off Chase when he was in full pursuit mode. Very rare is the criminal who can shake that man off once he gets going. Except Usain Bolt, maybe, whoÆs no criminal.

ôI take it youÆre not here to talk about book club?ö asked Adra.

ôNot exactly,ö said Odelia. ôI donÆt know if you heard what happened to Valina?ö

AdraÆs face crumpled. ôHorrible news. The mailman told us this morning.ö

ôTerrible business,ö Gene agreed with his wife.

Both of them were seated in matching armchairs, strategically positioned in front of a large television. For their guests the sofa offered satisfactory seating, and for me and Dooley there was always the carpet.

ôI would have expected them to have a dog,ö said Dooley. ôA small one, you know. Like a Yorkie or a Pekinese or even a Chihuahua.ö

ôSome people donÆt like dogs,ö I said. ôOr maybe they once had a dog and it died and now they donÆt want another.ö

ôWhat do you think happened to the dog?ö asked Dooley, as always fascinated by death in all its facets. ôDo you think someone shot it through the heart like Valina?ö

ôIÆd say chances of that are slim to nonexistent.ö

ôI saw that you are a member of the Brookwell Archery Club, Ada?ö asked Odelia.

ôYes, thatÆs right. You didnÆt know? I used to shoot a lot when I was younger. Nowadays I rarely go anymore, though I keep renewing my membership, more for old timeÆs sake than anything else, I suppose.ö She smiled a sweet smile at Odelia. ôBut IÆm sure thatÆs not the only reason you came here. You probably discovered that my Gene was on ValinaÆs list. And now youÆre wondering if I went over there last night to kill the woman?ö

ôWell, the thought had crossed my mind,ö Odelia admitted.

ôI never signed up for that thing,ö said Gene, who had a sort of crumpled look. Both his clothes, which appeared a little too large for him, and his skin, which had the same effect. ôIt was Lily who was responsible. She probably thought it was a good joke.ö

ôWhoÆs Lily?ö asked Chase, who was taking notes.

ôOur granddaughter,ö said Adra. ôSheÆs thirteen, and is into practical jokes. Last month she signed me up to fly to Mars and start populating a new colony. And now this month itÆs Gene who got it in the neck. Please donÆt read too much into it. ItÆs her age, I guess.ö

Chase smiled.ôSo are you going to repopulate Mars, Mrs. Elfman?ö

ôIÆve raised three daughters. I would think IÆve done my share,ö the elderly lady laughed. ôBesides, who wants to travel to some dead planet when weÆve got a perfectly nice one down here?ö

ôHow about you, Mr. Elfman?ö asked Odelia. ôHave you ever swiped right?ö

Gene frowned.ôSwiped where?ö

ôGene isnÆt into computers,ö said the manÆs wife. ôOur eldest bought him a tablet last Christmas, and I have to say he tried his best, but in the end we simply gave it back.ö

ôThe internet is a dangerous place,ö Gene grumbled as he gave Chase an accusatory look, as if he held him personally responsible. ôFull of crooks and cheats. My son-in-law got a message last week, telling him that he won something called bitcoin. The fool clicked on the message and now his phone has been hacked. HeÆll have to buy himself a new one.ö

ôOur daughter wants us to try out this online banking thing,ö said Adra, ôbut I told her we better not. A friend of ours lost all of her savings when someone from the bank called. Or at least he told her he was from the bank. A very nice man, too. Ever so friendly. Turns out it was some kind of scam and she ended up transferring all of her savings to this man.ö

ôPolice wonÆt do a damn thing,ö Gene grunted. ôAnd the bank refuses to give her back the money, claiming it was her own damn fault for being so gullible in the first place.ö

ôHarriet chatted with a United States Marine,ö said Dooley. ôBut it turns out it was Rufus instead. Rufus is a dog,ö he added for good measure. ôA very nice sheepdog.ö

But of course Adra and Gene couldnÆt appreciate DooleyÆs contribution to the conversation, since they didnÆt speak our language.

ôSo,ö said Adra finally, patting her knees. ôAre we still on for book club tonight?ö

ôAgain?ö asked Gene. ôI thought you just had your book club meeting?ö

ôWhat with one thing and another, we never got to finish discussingTears in the Mud,ö said Adra, ôwhich is why Marge proposed a second meeting.ö She shot a look at Odelia. ôThough now with Valina murdered, I guess we should probably postpone.ö

ôIÆll ask Mom,ö Odelia promised.

ôTell her to give me a call.ö

ôDid you know,ö said Gene, scooting forward in his armchair, ôthat there are people out there who can spy on you through your computer? Take pictures, even? Just imagine for a moment, young man, that youÆre taking a shower and some person on the other side of the world decides to snap pictures of your willy? How about them apples, huh?ö

I had the distinct impression that Gene could talk for hours about the dangers we all faced in this brave new internet world, but Chase and Odelia still had more witnesses to interview, so they decided to thank the couple for their time and be on their way.

Pity, I thought, since when Adra had opened the fridge IÆd spotted another nice piece of chicken in there, just waiting for me and Dooley to sink our teeth into.

Then again, who knows what the next person had in store for us?

Chapter 13

Our final interview of the dayùand I must admit I was glad for it, since I was starting to yearn for a nice long napùwas Emma Kulhanek. Chase and Odelia wanted to find out if her husband Norwell had indeed been home when he said he was, and the best way to find out was to go straight to the source of the manÆs marital blissùas professed by both.

ôOh, yes, he was here,ö said Emma as soon as the question had been laid before her. ôHe arrived home late, but then he often does, and now with this big mess at the site heÆs got a ton of work to get through, as you can imagine.ö

ôWhat time did he get home?ö asked Odelia.

ôOh, around eight, I should say? IÆd kept his dinner in the oven, and warmed it up as soon as he walked through the door. I kept him company and then he went upstairs and went straight back to work in his office. IÆm afraid that when I went to bed he was still at it, slaving away at that site.ö

ôWhen did you go to bed?ö

ôLate. I keep telling myself IÆll turn in early, but I never seem to manage. I start watching something on TV and before I know it itÆs almost midnight.ö

ôSo you went to bed around midnight would you say?ö Chase insisted.

ôA little later,ö said Emma, looking sheepish. ôTwelve-fifteen. Something like that.ö

ôAnd your husband was still working in his office?ö

ôYeah, I went in there for my goodnight kiss,ö said Emma, looking amused. ôI donÆt understand. WhatÆs this all about?ö

ôYou havenÆt heard?ö asked Odelia.

ôHeard what?ö

ôValina was murdered last night.ö

EmmaÆs eyes went wide, and her face took on a paler hue. ôOh, my Godùmurdered!ö

ôWe thought you knew,ö said Chase.

ôDidnÆt Norwell tell you?ö

ôNo, he didnÆt. I havenÆt heard from him all day. HeÆs been at the office, busy as usual, trying to build a new site for Valina.ö She looked dismayed now. ôSo all these questionsà I thought it had to do with the hack, but youÆre looking for ValinaÆs murderer?ö

ôValina was killed between midnight and two oÆclock last night,ö said Chase, ôand your husbandÆs key card was used to gain access to the building at one-fifteen. So we can safely assume that the murder was committed at that time.ö

Her eyes widened, fully aghast.ôYouÆre not seriously suggesting that Norwellàö

ôHe claims that someone took his key card,ö said Odelia. ôHe had it when he badged in yesterday morning, but this morning when he arrived he discovered it wasnÆt in his wallet, where he keeps it. So someone must have stolen it between the time he arrived for work yesterday and the time Valina was shot at one-fifteen last night.ö

ôShot? You mean like with a gun?ö

ôWith bow and arrow,ö said Chase, studying EmmaÆs face.

If a person could personify shock and dismay, Emma did a perfect job at it. She looked absolutely flabbergasted.ôOh, my God,ö she muttered, then frowned. ôIt canÆt have been Norwell,ö she finally said. ôIÆm a very light sleeper. In fact I always wake up when Norwell comes to bed. HeÆs already told me to use earplugs but I canÆt wear them. My ears just start to itch and hurt when I do, even the hypoallergenic ones he got me from the pharmacy. So if heÆd left the house at any time during the night I would have heard.ö

ôYouÆre sure about that?ö asked Chase.

ôAbsolutely. I even wake up when the kids sneak downstairs for a glass of water. ItÆs very annoying. Though Norwell says itÆs a good thing. He sleeps like a log, you see. You can fire off a cannon and he wouldnÆt wake up. If the house caught fire IÆd be the one getting everyone out of bedand safely outside on the lawn waiting for the fire trucks to arrive.ö

ôIÆm a light sleeper, too,ö said Dooley.

ôAll cats are,ö I said. ôWe wake up from the least sound or movement.ö

ôEmma should get herself a couple of cats. SheÆll feel right at home with them.ö

ôWhat can you tell us about the relationship between your husband and Valina?ö asked Chase, clearly not fully satisfied that Norwell hadnÆt somehow fooled us all.

ôThey were getting along fine, until this whole business with the hack started. Valina blamed Norwell, since heÆs in charge of programming, and he blamed her, since the site was designed before he came on board and he told her several times it wasnÆt up to snuff.ö

ôIs it safe to say that they argued a lot?ö

ôOh, absolutely. But thatÆs only understandable. After all, we both gave up a lot to come here. We had a good life in San Francisco. I had a good teaching position, the kids loved their school and their friends, and Norwell was doing great.ö

ôSo why come here?ö asked Odelia.

ôThe challenge of designing a site from scratch. The chance to become a partner. And of course I was born and raised in Hampton Cove. My family is here, and IÆd always dreamed one day of moving back. Send the kids to the same school I went to. Be a teacher there. And so far itÆs worked out fine. Until the big hack drama happened.ö Her face fell. ôAnd now of course this murder.ö She gave Chase an anxious look. ôWhatÆs going to happen now? Are they going to close down Valina Fawn for good?ö

ôI donÆt know, Emma,ö said Chase. ôThatÆs not for the police to decide.ö

ôBut you have shut down the site, right? With the murder and everything?ö

ôNo, the site is still up and running as far as I know,ö said Chase. ôThough we have closed down parts of the office for the time being, since itÆs a crime scene.ö

ôI understand,ö said Emma quietly. ôWell, I guess weÆll just have to wait and see.ö She looked up. ôSo do you have any suspects yet? People who could have taken NorwellÆs card?ö

ôItÆs still early days,ö said Chase. ôRight now weÆre trying to interview as many people who can shed light on the case as possible.ö They both got up. ôIf thereÆs anything else, just give us a call. Any time, day or night. Even the smallest detail might be important.ö

ôOf course,ö said Emma. ôOf course I will.ö

She waved us off, still wearing that slightly dazed and worried look on her face. And I didnÆt wonder why that was. Her husband was clearly ChaseÆs prime suspect. And in spite of her protestations, I had a feeling Chase didnÆt give much credence to her story about waking up at the slightest sound. If a man is determined to go out and murder a person, heÆll always find a way.

Chapter 14

That evening, much to everyoneÆs surprise, Marge had decided to organize a book club meeting again. She felt that especially now, with everything that was going on, and with the death of Valina, it was important to get together and bask in the warmth of friendship and companionship. The last book shop meeting had ended in acrimony, with the clash between Lynnette and Emma, but tonight was all about healing and coming together.

ôI still find it hard to believe that Valina is gone,ö said Adra, a copy ofTears in the Mud clasped firmly in her hand.ôShe was such a powerful force in the community, and I always loved her take on MargeÆs book choices.ö

ôWell, I didnÆt,ö said Carlotta, who clearly hadnÆt yet dropped her intense dislike of the dating site boss. ôI found her comments vapid and devoid of finesse. But then what can you expect from a woman who makes her money facilitating adultery?ö

ôMaybe we should adopt a more conciliatory tone,ö said Marge hastily, before things got out of hand again. ôAfter all, Valina isnÆt here to defend herself anymore.ö

Carlotta didnÆt seem entirely convinced, but when the others all nodded their agreement, she wisely kept her tongue.

ôI have to agree with Carlotta, though,ö said Lynnette Say. ôIÆm just glad that my Franco wasnÆt on ValinaÆs site.ö

ôThat doesnÆt mean anything,ö said Carlotta. ôHe could have been using an alias.ö

Lynnette laughed a light tinkling laugh.ôI know for a fact that Franco would never cheat on me. And thatÆs because IÆve always made sure that he has no reason to.ö

Carlotta frowned.ôWhatÆs that supposed to mean?ö

Lynnette studied her perfectly manicured nails.ôIf a man doesnÆt get what he wants at home, of course heÆll go looking for it elsewhere. If you want to keep your husband happy, you have to make an effort, and thatÆs where most women go wrong. They get lazy, and then they come crying when they find out heÆs been out playing the field.ö

ôSo you actually have the gall to tell me itÆs my fault that Dennis was on ValinaÆs list?ö

Lynnette smiled a sweet smile.ôIÆm sure I wouldnÆt presume to know what makes your marriage work, Carlotta. IÆm just telling you how IÆve succeeded in making mine work.ö

ôWell, for your information IÆm starting to think that I totally overreacted,ö said Carlotta. ôDennis may have signed himself up for the site, but he swears up and down that he was never unfaithful to me.ö She sighed. ôAnd IÆm inclined to believe him. Dennis may be many things but heÆs not a smooth operator. I think IÆd know if he was lying to me.ö