Raccoon Racketeer

Chapter Thirteen

Despite many fervent prayers sent Heavenward, Nan didn’t talk to me that night. In fact, she didn’t even come back home. How do I know? Because I set up camp in the living room and waited all night, that’s how.

Of course, now I only had more questions than before.

Was she out doing damage control or simply hiding from me to avoid a confrontation? And where had she even gone?

Desperate for answers, I called my mom the next morning.

“Angie, good morning! It’s so good to hear from you!” my mom chirped in such a delighted tone that I instantly knew Nan hadn’t turned up at her place.

I had a choice to make then. I could tell her everything and invite her to help, or I could stay silent.

Even though our relationship had become closer ever since I let her in on my secret ability to communicate with animals, I worried about what this new revelation would do to our relationship. Either she’d known all this time and had also chosen to keep the truth of our lineage hidden from me, or she had no idea and would be shattered by the news.

Frankly, I didn’t like either option.

“Hi, Mom,” I said, my mind made up. “Just calling to say hi on my way to the electronics store. Need anything while I’m out?”

“Oh, that’s so nice of you to offer, but your father and I are fine.” She sounded so happy. I really need to call her more, to invite her over here or swing by her place.

I smiled, hoping she’d be able to hear it in my voice. “Okay, just wanted to be sure. Love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too, baby.”

We hung up and I squeezed the phone in my hand, drawing strength from its warmth. I needed to learn whatever truth Nan was hiding. I owed it to not just myself, but my mom, too.

“What happens next?” Octo-Cat wanted to know then.

“Stay here and keep an eye out for Nan,” I told him, even more determined than before to get to the bottom of this—and fast. “I need to pick up some equipment.”

“Does this mean…?” His eyes grew large as his words trailed away.

“We’re breaking into that room,” I confirmed. “At least you and Pringle are.”

“Well, you know what they say. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” He crossed his paws daintily, then nodded toward the remote. “Turn the tube on for me, will you?”

I grabbed the remote as requested, but didn’t turn on the TV just yet.

“Let’s get on with it, please, Angela,” my cat groaned.

“One thing first.” I took a deep breath to steady myself, knowing he wouldn’t like what I said next. “I need you to understand that I will not be buying Apple products for our mission today.”

He jumped up onto all four feet, his fur puffed in distress. “What? Why?”

Yes, my cat was a major brand loyalist—Apple, Evian, Fancy Feast, Lenox—the guy had standards and stuck to them.

“Sometimes they don’t have what we need,” I explained gently. “But don’t worry. Pringle’s the one who will be using the new stuff. You don’t have to.”

He sighed and settled back into a comfortable position. “Then it’s all for the best. That raccoon doesn’t deserve i-Anything.”

This made me laugh. Crisis averted. “Right!”

“Now would you, please, turn on the television?” he asked with an irritated flick of his tail.

“Sure, yeah.” I clicked the TV on to the movie channel and their current broadcast of When Harry Met Sally, then blew him a quick kiss before heading toward the door. “I’ll be back.”

“Hasta la vista, baby.” He dropped his voice so it became deep, but nowhere deep enough to deliver that famous quote properly. Luckily, I was able to keep my giggles inside until I’d slammed the car door behind me and began the trek to the big box electronics store.

Last time I’d stopped by had been to buy a GPS pet tracker for our squirrel friend Maple. I’d come one time before as well; it had been to buy an Apple Watch for Octo-Cat, although for the life of me I couldn’t remember why I needed one or what ever happened to it. I knew Maple’s GPS had ended up buried somewhere in the forest, like one of the manic squirrel’s nuts or half-eaten jars of peanut butter. And, yes, I was her supplier against my better judgement.

“Hey, I know you!” A pimply faced employee with curly hair and a brightly colored polo shirt approached while laughing. He was the same one who’d helped me the first time I came in looking to equip the animals with their own spy tech.

“How did your cat like his Apple Watch?” He made air quotes around Apple since I’d actually bought an off-brand product and stuck the preferred logo over top. Shoot. Sometimes I was way too free with information about my crazy life.

“It was great. Thanks.” I’d been lucky enough not to run into him on my second visit, which meant I’d gotten in and out of there in mere minutes. It seemed today I wouldn’t be quite so lucky.

“Are you here for a new MacBook Pro or an iPad Air? Maybe a matching Apple Watch for your dog?”

“No, she doesn’t need a watch,” I muttered, and the store clerk laughed even harder. I wasn’t a violent person by nature, but I also kind of wanted to punch him in the face. Did he really think it was a good idea to tease and bully his customers? Perhaps corporate would like to hear about my experience today. Hmm.

He sobered at last, placing both hands in his pockets and turning to me with an open expression. Maybe now that he’d gotten his laughs in, he’d actually help here. “Okay. What can I get for you?”

I offered a pert smile. “I need a GoPro camera, please, and a harness to go with it.”

Again, raucous laughter. “Oh, so your cat likes Apple, but your dog likes GoPro?” He could barely get the words out because he was wheezing so hard.

“Actually, it’s for my raccoon, but yeah.” I smiled wide just to unnerve him. He already thought I was crazy, so I might as well lean into it.

Sure enough, the next thing out of his mouth was, “You’re weird, you know that?”

“And you’re not very helpful, so I guess I’ll just help myself. Thank you!” I called over my shoulder, already walking away.

“Hang on. GoPros are this way.” He darted past me and hooked a right. “You need a key to get into the case, which means you do need my help.”

“Fine, but I’m in a hurry.”

“Urgent animal business?” he guessed, holding back another laugh.

“Something like that,” I answered. Fine, whatever. He could make fun of me all he wanted. As long as I got the camera and harness, I’d go about my day just fine.

“Good luck!” he called after me once he’d handed over the equipment I requested. Yeah, like I needed his well wishes—or like he even meant them in the first place. Next time I’d be finding a different electronics store, even if I had to drive twice as far to get to it.

I gave the bully clerk a thumbs up as I approached the cash register, refusing to look back or say another word. I had far bigger problems to worry about today.

Nan was missing.

My mom probably had different parents than she’d been led to believe.

I owed a raccoon of questionable ethics an unspoken favor.

Oh, and also, I was about to spy on my own grandmother in a desperate attempt to learn the truth behind it all…