Radiant Shadows

Chapter 25

Ani dreamed she was on a beach. Behind her were sandstone cliffs with thick forest atop them. The tide was coming in, and the water lapped against her feet. The bottoms of her jeans were wet and collecting sand.

Devlin stood in front of her. He looked around as if expecting to see someone else too. “What if this isn’t just a dream, Ani?”

“It is,” she insisted.

“Do you dream of me, then?” He smiled, freer than he was in the waking world.

“Maybe.” She blushed, but she didn’t let her attention waver. Her gaze took in the details, the foreboding posture and inhuman eyes, the more-than-faery strength and not– High Court violence that were just barely hidden. “You’re easy to look at.”

“As are you.” He reached out and caressed her face. With a serious expression, he traced the edge of her jaw with his thumb. “You’re beautiful, Ani. In all of eternity, there’s never been another faery who could make me want to forget everything and everyone else.”

“Because you like the way I look?” She rolled her eyes. “Apparently, my dream mind is shallow.”

“No, not the exterior. You… the tempers and follies and passion… even the way you care for that infuriating steed.” Devlin gazed at her like she was precious. “Even knowing you could be fatal, I would’ve said yes.”

Her chest hurt like she had held her breath too long as she asked, “To?”

“Whatever you wanted.” He didn’t reach out and pull her into his embrace. Instead, he took one step forward, leaned down, and kissed her.

When his mouth opened against hers, she didn’t drink down his energy. It was just a kiss. Admittedly, it was a forget-your-name kiss, but it was not deadly.

Nor was it lust.

Nor was it anonymous.

Kissing Devlin was unlike every other touch she’d known.

She leaned back and stared at him. “I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. Not here.” Devlin was so close that she felt the words on her lips. “We’re safe here.”

The wolves that appeared so often in her dreams were stretched on the sand, peering out from caves in the base of the cliffs, waiting in the trees far above the beach. They all watched with unusual contentment.

“Stay with me,” Devlin whispered, drawing her gaze back to him. “Just a little longer. We can deal with the rest when we wake.”

She wasn’t sure though if his words were a question or a statement. She ran her hands over his bare chest. Like most faeries in her court, his body was one of faint scars and tight muscles. Faeries healed most everything. To have that many scars meant that he saw plenty of violence. “In the room, I tried not to do this.”

He didn’t move away. “Do what?”

“Feel your scars. I’m sorry I don’t have many to share.” She felt a growl in the back of her throat. “Gabriel won’t let me fight.”

“I like the way you fight.”

She grinned. “Mmmm. What else would the dream version say to me? Would you tell me what you really think of me?”

“I would.”

“Would I want to know?”

“I’m not sure.” He kissed her again, briefly this time, and added, “Why don’t you ask me when you are awake, Ani?”

At his tone, Ani wondered if this was a dream. She stepped back and looked at him. He stood topless and barefoot on the beach with her. The sea beyond them was motionless, but for the splashes of curious beasts that occasionally broke the surface. It felt like neither dream nor not-dream.

“Am I dreaming?” she whispered.

“We both are.”

“If this is a dream, why can’t I make clothes vanish?” Ani spoke to herself as much as to him. She reached out to his jeans. “Buttons. Zippers. It’s silly to have these in a dream.”

He didn’t resist. “It is. They’re a nuisance in the waking world too.”

Ani gasped as he slid his hand under the edge of her shirt. “I’m dreaming.”

“Yes, but this”—his fingers curled around her side— “is”—he tugged her closer—“real too.”

Then he kissed her, emotions raw and available. When he pulled back, he told her, “You were the one who stopped, Ani. Not me.”

“For your own good,” she reminded.

“You underestimate me.” He wasn’t walking away, nor was he weakened by the energy she was drowning in. “Don’t walk away this time.”

For a beautiful moment, she was reminded of the first instant when she’d seen him, shadowed and looking like trouble. She’d thought him like Irial then, but as she pulled him to the sand with her, she admitted that Devlin had replaced Irial as her fantasy that very day.

She unbuttoned his jeans and gave herself over to the kisses she’d craved.

Ani jolted awake still in Devlin’s arms, but they were in the motel—not on the beach. For a moment, there were more emotions washing over her than she’d thought she could swallow. She closed her eyes and let the skin contact and emotional deluge fill her up, but touching could be enough to weaken him if he was letting his emotions free simultaneously. It wasn’t as bad as kissing, but it was still dangerous.

“Stop… something,” she whispered.

Rather than stop holding her, he walled his feeling up. He ran his fingers through her hair, tugging gently as the sleep snarls caught on his fingers.

Ani felt better than she had since she discovered her dual appetites. “I’m… sated.”

“You sound surprised.” His hand continued down her shoulder and onto her arm.

“It’s the first time.” She kissed him quickly, lips closed, and then rolled over and stretched. “Ever.”

“Good.” He didn’t move at all or have any inflection in his voice.

The lack of emotion was so different from the version of him in her dream that she felt a foolish surge of sadness. In her dream, Devlin had no barriers, no hesitation, no impenetrable wall. He’d reached for her hand. He hadn’t needed to hide his feelings.

But that wasn’t real.

In the real world, Devlin couldn’t kiss her with his emotions laid bare: she’d drain the life from him.

“Do you want to shower before we leave?” She sat cross- legged beside him.

He still hadn’t moved. His brow was furrowed, and his emotions were locked down. “We should talk.”

“About?” Her heart began to race, pounding like a drum.

Not all faeries had the same sensitivities, but she’d begun to realize that Devlin was attuned to Hunt-like qualities. Her thrumming pulse was as clear to him as a thundering bass would be to most faeries.

“I received a message—”

“Wait.” She put her hands on the mattress on either side of his still bare chest, bracing herself as she leaned over him. She kissed him for just a moment, lost herself in the touch of his lips against hers, his breath tangled with hers, his skin against hers.

His hands were on her hips, not pulling her closer or pushing her away, just keeping her steady. It wasn’t like the dream, but it wasn’t all restraint either. He stared up at her curiously for a moment. Her heart raced just as loud, but now it was the right sort of reason.

She leaned back and sat atop his legs. “Okay.”

To his credit, he didn’t question her actions. He resumed his sentence: “I received a message that requires a change to our plans.”

“When?”

“In my dream.” He stared at her. “Before our dreams…”

“That was real? What we… you and me… and…” She leaned closer until she was once more braced over him, and placed a hand on either shoulder.

“I told you it was real.” He reached up and threaded his fingers through her hair. “Do you regret it?” He let none of his emotions leak through, but she didn’t need to taste his emotions to know he was afraid of her answer.

“Awake or asleep, I want you,” she assured. “The only reason I’d say no in the waking world is because I like you, but if it’s safe there—and it is, right?”

“Yes. It’s safe there.” He smiled, but there was also tension in his expression.

“How? How did we do that? Share a dream, I mean.”

“There are those who can walk in dreams,” he murmured.

“And we did? You knew, and we—” She broke off and kissed him until she was breathless. “Are you tired enough to sleep more?”

“I would rather stay here with you, fall asleep or stay awake, just be with you, but I need to go.” He paused, frowned, and then said, “Faerie is coming unmade. I need to retrieve Seth and deliver him to Sorcha.”

“Say that again.” She stared at him, trying to process the enormity of what he’d announced so casually. The revelation about what they’d done—and that it was real!—shook her world, but the second announcement wasn’t the good kind. “What you just said. Repeat it.”

Devlin propped himself up on his elbows. “I need to collect Seth before we can resume… anything.”

Ani realized that she was watching him like she was transfixed. “Give me a sec here, Dev.” She slid farther back from him and tried to focus. “Faerie is coming apart… what does that even mean?”

“Within Faerie, reality is a reflection of the queen’s will. Once there were two courts there, and the world was the combined visions of the two monarchs. With the Dark Court gone from Faerie, there is only Sorcha, and she appears to be ill from mourning her s—Seth’s absence. If Faerie vanishes, we all die with it.” Devlin sat up and wrapped a black leather tie around the hair he’d gathered at the nape of his neck. His movements were unhurried; his tone was calm.

And the world is ending.

It wasn’t like Ani thought often about Faerie, but it was their homeland. In some primal part of herself, of every faery, there was a chord that was struck at the thought of Faerie. For her, Faerie was forbidden, but somewhere inside she’d still known that it was there.

“I will take him to her and return quickly.” Devlin stood and retrieved his shirt. As he spoke, he put on his shirt and shoes. “I’m certain we will resolve it. I’m not sure the seasonal courts need to be made aware, but the Dark Kings need to be informed. Perhaps if I cannot wake her, they can… come home.”

“What do you need me to do?” she asked.

“Tell your steed that invisibility and optimum speed are required. Blending in with the mortals aids us in hiding you, but I fear that the time to retrieve Seth for the High Queen is limited.” Devlin’s words and manner were becoming increasingly aloof.

“Devlin?” Ani put a hand on his arm.

He paused.

“Is she going to be okay? Your sister?” Regardless of what Ani thought of the High Queen, Sorcha was Devlin’s sister. If Tish were sick, Ani would be lost.

“The High Queen has never been ill,” he said. “I will do what must be done, but I cannot say that I am without worry… or frustration. Her behavior is—” He stopped himself. “The High Queen should not mourn. She should not grow ill over emotion. Something else has happened, but Rae didn’t tell—”

“Rae?”

“She delivered the message from Faerie.”

“You know Rae,” Ani said slowly. “Rae from the dreams?”

“Yes.” Devlin gave her an unreadable look. His emotions were so tamped down that she had no idea what he felt.

She didn’t know what to say.

And when she didn’t respond, he asked, “What do you need to do before we depart?”

“Give me fifteen minutes.” She walked past him to the bathroom.

Rae is real. Ani had just learned that her dream with Devlin was real, but hearing Devlin mention Rae so casually startled her. Who is she to him? What is she?

Ani absently went through the motions of washing up and brushing her teeth as she replayed every detail she knew about Rae. There were more questions than Ani could fully process, but in light of what Devlin had told her, asking about Rae seemed unnecessarily selfish.