RL's Dream

Twenty-Five

Billy and Kiki went to Randy’s table at about eleven the next morning. The long-haired boy was unpacking his magazines and comic books.

“Randy.” Kiki took Billy by the hand and pulled him over to the table. “Billy wants to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah?” Randy was looking at their hands.

“This gonna be somethin’, brother.” Billy disengaged from Kiki and offered the hand to Randy. “It’s just a hunnert dollars at first but that’s just the start.”

“I don’t know why you’re talking to me. I don’t have anything to do with it.”

“But you see.” Billy never lost his broken smile. “I’ma be like a agent. I’ma have me a lotta guys gettin’ gigs an’ like that. But Soupspoon gonna need a manager. Thatta be you. You see that way we got a business. What they call a network. We brothers be helpin’ each other.”

“I don’t see it,” Randy said.

“Oh come on, Randy,” Kiki said, moving from Billy to him.

“It’s a black thing, brother,” Billy said. “We gots to get the money and the business on our side.”

“I don’t know what the hell you think, man!” Randy shouted. “But I’m not even a Negro. I’m Arab and South American.”

“What?” Billy looked confused.

“You go on,” Kiki said to Billy. “I’ll talk to Randy.”

“You like him?” Randy was sitting at the table in Kiki’s apartment. She sat on the sink with her mane of red hair thrown back.

“What’s wrong with you, Randy?”

“I asked you if you liked him.”

“You don’t own me, baby. I never said that to you. If I like somebody then that’s my business. And the same goes for you.”

“Well, then that’s okay. I mean, I don’t care what you do either.” The tears in his eyes didn’t sound in his words.

Kiki fought the urge to laugh.

“But I’m not gonna help him,” Randy said.

“Why not? He hasn’t done anything to you. All he is is a black man trying to make his way in this world. He wants to help all of us.”

“What’s he gonna do for you?”

“I just like to talk with him, that’s all.”

“About what?”

“Just talk, that’s all. And I got fired and so Soupspoon gotta make some money till I get something else.”

“Why’d they fire you?”

“I got mad at them. I got in late and they wanted to make a big deal out of it and so I got mad and they fired me.”

Randy lowered his voice and asked, “Is it because of you drinking?’

“No! And you should mind your own fuckin’ business, Randy!” Kiki flung herself off the sink. “What I do and don’t do don’t have a thing to do with you! If I wanna talk to somebody or if I want a drink it don’t have a goddamned thing to do with you!” Kiki went up to him so that she was looking down over his head. “Do you understand that?”

“I gotta go,” the boy whispered.

“You gotta help me, Randy.”

“Help you what?”

“Soupspoon has to have some money.”

“I could lend you the rent.”

“Not for me, honey. I got five hundred and some dollars in the bank right now.” Her voice softened then. “Soup’s better now but I can’t leave him until I know that he’s gonna be okay.”

“Leave where?”

Kiki sat down in Randy’s lap and put her arm around his neck. “I’ve got to get out of here, honey. I’ve got to get out of New York.”

“Why?”

“I’m finished with all of this now. I’m going back home. And I need you and Billy to make sure Soup’s gonna be okay.”

“I just can’t see why you gotta leave. I thought you didn’t even like your family.”

“Will you help me?”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Just help me out. Help me. Go with me tonight and be there for Soup. He’s better from the cancer now but he’s still tired. He needs us to be there for him.”

“Can I come back home with you after that?”

“I don’t know,” Kiki said, looking straight into his eyes, begging him silently not to ask again.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. You don’t always come home with me.”

“But I’m asking you. I want to come home with you.”

“I told you I don’t know, Randy.”

He took her hands in his. “Please.”

“Look. I’ll tell you. Billy’s probably gonna come home with me after. I mean it’s no big thing, I just, I just want to spend a little time with him. That’s all. But I could come over to your place tomorrow morning after he leaves — or after I leave him.”

Randy didn’t speak. After three minutes had gone by, Kiki pulled her hands from his.

“Well?” she asked.

“I want you, Kiki.”

“I’m not up for sale, Randy. I never promised you anything. I like you. I like Billy too. And right now I want to be with him.” Inside Kiki was laughing and ashamed. “But when I leave here it’s going to be alone.”

“Can’t I come with you?”

“No.”

“Why not? I could transfer my credits. I could get a job.”

“If I went with anybody it would be with Soup. And I can’t go with him because he’s colored. And down where I’m going they wouldn’t stand for that.”

“So?” The tears were coming down Randy’s eggshell-brown cheeks.

“You’re black too, Randy.”

“No. I’m...”

“Yes you are, honey. You’re a Negro. Maybe not in your mind. Maybe in your mind you’re John Wayne. But back here in America you’re just another black man.”

The tears were gone. When Randy stood up, Kiki almost fell from his lap. When she moved to touch him he pushed her away.

“Don’t you see how stupid this is, Randy? How somebody white has to tell you what you are?”

“I’ve got to get back down to my store, Kiki. I’ve got to go.”

“Don’t be like that, honey. I’m your friend. I’ve always been your friend.”

“Uh-huh, I know. Listen, I’ll try to get things together and get down to the club tonight. But I just remembered that I got a test in the morning. So I’ll have to leave early and I won’t be home in the morning anyway.”

Kiki leaned back against the sink.

Randy studied the floor.

“Okay,” she said. “Whatever you say. If you could come for a while that would be nice.”

“I’ll try.”

Kiki didn’t watch him leave. She was already thinking about the night.