S is for Silence

13

Downstairs, Chet Cramer introduced me to his son-in-law and then excused himself. Winston Smith was the same heavyset salesman I’d seen earlier, and I wondered if his sales pitch had been successful. Probably not, given his energy level, which seemed low if not depressed. We sat in his cubicle, my back to the glass partition that looked out onto the floor. Winston’s desk was arranged so he could keep an eye out for customers without appearing inattentive.

At close range, the word “corpulent” was more appropriate than “heavyset” in capturing his girth. He looked as though a simple walk to his car would leave him wheezing and short of breath. There was no ashtray in sight, but I smelled the cigarette smoke that clung to his clothes and breath. Under his chin, a second chin bulged, leaving his shirt collar so taut it might choke him to death if he bent to tie his shoes. He still had most of his hair, which he wore long and curly on top, brushed back in a style I hadn’t seen since the days when Elvis Presley got his start.

I’d scarcely sat down when his telephone rang. “Excuse me,” he said, and picked up. “This is Winston Smith.” And then, with caution, “What’s up?”

I had no way of knowing who was on the other end of the line, but he flicked a quick look in my direction and angled his body for privacy. “Hang on a sec.” He put the caller on hold. “Let me take care of this and I’ll be right back.”

“Sure thing.”

He left the cubicle. I watched line one blink red until he picked up the call from a nearby phone. On the wall across from me, his sales manuals were lined up on a built-in credenza. In a prominent position, there was a color photograph of a bride and groom on what I assumed was their wedding day. I crossed and picked up the framed photo for closer scrutiny. Winston must have been in his midtwenties, slim, handsome, curly-haired, and boyish, his tuxedo contributing an air of casual elegance. At his side, a hefty Kathy Cramer was squeezed into a wedding dress so tight it must have hurt to breathe. Above the sweetheart neckline, her breasts were plumped like two homemade yeast rolls that had risen and were ready to pop in the oven. In the years since that day, the two had reversed roles. Now she was trim, an exercise addict, while he’d apparently surrendered all hope of getting into shape. What was up with that? I kept thinking about Tannie’s offhand remark, that Winston knew more about Violet than he’d admitted.

I replaced the photo and took my seat again mere moments before he returned, murmuring, “Sorry about that.” He sat down again, but something in his manner had shifted. “My wife,” he said, by way of explanation. “She called while I was with a customer and I had to put her off. Don’t want to do that twice.”

“No problem. I had a chat with her earlier and she showed me the house. Nice place.”

“Should be for the price we paid,” he said with a quick forced smile.

“You play golf?”

He shook his head. “She’s the golfer. I keep my nose to the grindstone. If you notice me limp, it’s from dragging my ball and chain.” He laughed when he said it and I smiled in response, thinking, Ding, ding, ding, ding.

I said, “I could never see the point of golf myself. Chasing a ball and then hitting it with a stick? Though now that I think about it, that describes a lot of sports. What about your daughters? Are they golfers?”

“Amber was taking lessons before she left for Spain, but we’ll see where that goes. She’s easily bored so she’ll doubtless move on to something else. Brittany’s not athletic by any stretch. I’m sure Kathy’d tell you that she takes after me.”

“I understand Tiffany’s getting married in June.”

“Ka-ching, ka-ching, ” he said, pretending to punch up sales on a cash register. “You know how much weddings cost these days?”

“Not a clue.”

“Me, neither. Kathy keeps me in the dark so I can’t object. I’m sure it’s something close to the national debt.”

We both laughed at that, though the observation didn’t seem at all funny to me. Clearly Winston and his wife weren’t operating off the same page.

He pulled out a handkerchief and blotted his upper lip where a subtle sheen of moisture had appeared. He returned the handkerchief to his back pocket. “Anyway, she tells me you have questions about Violet Sullivan.”

“If you don’t mind,” I said, expecting the standard assurance that the subject was really no big deal.

“Doesn’t matter if I do or not, I’m under orders,” he said, again with that quick, easy laugh to show what a wag he was.

Mentally I squinted, listening to the second set of comments embedded in the first. I’m not a fan of doublespeak. His asides were the sort offered by married couples who banter in public, airing their grievances with an eye to soliciting outside support. If Kathy had been with us, she’d have countered with a few ha-has of her own, thus guaranteeing a laugh at his expense. He would have joined in the merriment, which is what seemed pitiful to me. The man was in pain.

“What orders?”

“What?”

“What orders did she give?”

“Skip it. Long story.”

“I love long stories.”

“You don’t have other people you have to talk to?”

“I’m supposed to meet Daisy, but if you let me borrow your phone, I can change that. You want to go somewhere and grab a cigarette?”

I called Daisy at work and had a quick conversation with her, telling her something had come up and I wasn’t going to make it for lunch. I suggested that if Tannie was driving up I could hang out in Santa Maria and the three of us could have dinner at the Blue Moon instead. She seemed to like that idea, so I said I’d call her again later in the afternoon and we could finalize our plans.

I’d expected Winston to step out into the vestibule to grab a smoke, but he took out his car keys and walked me to the side lot where he’d parked his car. He handed me into the passenger side of a metallic blue 1987 Chevrolet Caravan station wagon. When he got in on his side, he said, “This is only mine until the ‘88s come in. Then they swap it out.”

“Slick.”

“You think so until you look at the underlying attitude. No matter how fond you are of what you have, there’s always something hotter coming down the pike. It’s a recipe for discontent.”

“If you buy into it,” I said.

“That’s my job-promoting the concept. Coaxing the gullible into taking the bait.”

“So why don’t you quit and do something else? No one has a gun to your head.”

“I’m fifty-four years old, a little long in the tooth for any big career change. Can I buy you lunch?”

“In matters of food, you can always count me in.”

I pictured McDonald’s, but then I was always picturing McDonald’s. I’d take a Quarter Pounder with Cheese over just about any other foodstuff on earth.

He drove us across town and pulled into a supermarket parking lot where a fellow and his wife had set up a portable barbeque that was attached to a camper shell. The rolling metal rig was black, about the size of a double-wide utility sink, with a pulley and chain that allowed for the raising and lowering of a rack. Chunks of meat had been laid on the grill over hot coals, and the smoky smell of charred beef filled the air. To one side, buttered rolls had been cut in half and placed on the grill.

A steady stream of cars was turning into the lot, taking advantage of the numerous empty parking spaces. On a card table, I could see piles of paper napkins, paper plates, plastic cutlery, and numerous plastic tubs of salsa and beans. Nearby three portable picnic tables were set up with aluminum lawn chairs. An ice chest contained cold cans of soda for a quarter apiece.

We parked as close as we could and eased into a line that was easily twenty-five people long. The wait was worth it, and I made no attempt to tidy up my manners as we ate.

“Geez, how do they do this? It’s great!” I said with my mouth half-full.

“Santa Maria barbecue. That’s tri-tip,” he said. “You rub it with salt, pepper, and garlic salt, and cook it over red oak.”

“Fabulous.”

Both of us licked our fingers before opening the moist towelette packets provided with the meal. When my hands were clean, I said, “Thanks. What a treat.”

“You’re welcome.”

We walked back to his car, freeing up our lawn chairs for the people waiting to sit down. We lingered outside his car while he lit his after-meal cigarette. His thin candy-coating of mirth had dropped away and something darker had emerged. This was not a happy man. There was a heaviness about him that seemed to taint the very air. Apropos of nothing, he held up his cigarette. “Know why I’m doing this?”

“She won’t let you smoke inside.”

He flicked a look at me. “How’d you know?”

“I was in the house. No ashtrays.”

“She runs a tight ship.”

“A lot of people feel that way about smoking,” I said mildly, not mentioning that I was one.

“Hey, don’t I know it. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about that.”

I didn’t ask what “that” he was referring to. Instead I said, “Fine. We can talk about Violet, then.”

He was quiet for a long moment. “She was a tramp.”

Kathy had used the same term. I said, “Come on. Everybody says she was a tramp. Tell me something I haven’t heard.”

I watched his face, wondering what was going on behind his eyes.

He studied the bright ember of his cigarette. “Kathy’s jealous of her.”

“Is or was?”

“Is.”

“That takes some doing. Violet’s been gone for thirty-four years.”

“Try telling her that.”

“I thought they barely knew each other.”

“Not quite true. Liza Mellincamp was Kathy’s best friend. Then Violet came along and Liza got caught up in the Sullivan family drama. Liza’s parents were divorced, which in those days was a much bigger deal than it is today. Now it’s the norm. Back then it wasn’t scan dalous, but it was looked on as low-class. And there was Violet, already outside the pale. She took Liza under her wing. Kathy couldn’t stand it.”

“Is that why she hated Daisy?”

“Sure, she hated her. Daisy was another link to Violet. Liza spent a lot of time at the Sullivans’. She also had a boyfriend that summer, though he broke off the relationship the same weekend Violet disappeared.”

“I don’t get it. So many events seem connected to Violet. Maybe not directly, but peripherally. You got fired. Tannie’s mother died.”

“Sometimes I think there are people who generate that stuff. They don’t mean to do it, but whatever happens to them ends up affecting everyone else. Day I got fired was the worst day of my life. Twenty years old and there went any hope of a college education.”

“What were you planning to do?”

“I don’t even remember. Something better than what I got. I’m not a salesman. I don’t like manipulating people. Cramer sees it as a game and it’s one that he wins. The whole deal makes me sick.”

“But it looks like you’re doing okay.”

“You ought to see my credit card bills. We can barely make ends meet. Kathy’s out there spending money faster than I can earn it. Country club membership. The new house. The clothes. Vacations. She doesn’t like to cook, so most nights we eat out…” He stopped and shook his head. “You know the irony?”

“Oh, do tell. I love irony,” I said.

“Now she tells me she needs her ‘space.’ She broke the news to me last night. She says with the girls as good as gone, she thinks it time for her to reevaluate her goals.”

“Divorce?”

“She’s not using the word, but that’s what it amounts to. Tiffany’s wedding will keep her entertained, but after that, it’s every man for himself. Meanwhile, she thinks I should find a place of my own. When she called earlier today? I was hoping she’d changed her mind, but all she wanted was to make sure I didn’t mention it to you.”

“Oops.”

“Yeah, oops. I’ve spent years doing what I’m told, giving her everything she wants, for all the good it did. Now it’s freedom she wants and I’m supposed to foot the bill for that, too. She probably has a stud in the wings. Not that I’ve asked. She’d lie to me anyway so what’s the point? The only good part is I don’t have to take any more crap off of her.”

“Counseling’s not an option?”

“Counseling for what? She won’t admit we’ve got a problem, just that she needs ‘distance’ so she can get ‘clarity.’ I should get a little clarity myself-hire some hotshot attorney and file before she does. That would shake her to her shoes.”

“I’m sorry. I wish I had advice for you.”

“Who needs advice? I could use some comic relief.”

“Maybe she means what she says; she needs breathing room.”

“Not a chance. She must have been planning this for months, waiting until we moved before she lowered the boom.” He smoked in silence, leaning against the door on the driver’s side while I leaned against the fender near him, both of us watching the crowd thin around the barbecue. Like a trained therapist, I let the silence extend, wondering what he’d offer by way of filling it in. I was just about to get antsy and jump into the breech myself, when he spoke up. “Here’s something I never told anyone about Violet. This is minor, but it’s weighed on my mind. The night she disappeared? I saw the car.” I didn’t look at him for fear of breaking the spell.

“Where?”

“Off New Cut Road. This was long after dark. There was road construction going on so everything was torn up. I’d been driving around for hours, more depressed than I’ve ever been in my life. Except maybe now,” he added, dryly.

I could feel the hairs go up along the back of my neck, but I didn’t want to push. “What was she doing?”

“I didn’t see her. Just the Bel Air. I figured she was having car trouble… like maybe she’d run out of gas… but I didn’t give a shit. I thought, she’s so smart, let her figure it out herself. Later, when I heard she was gone, I should have mentioned it to the cops. At first, I didn’t think it was relevant, and later, I worried it would look like I’d had something to do with it.”

“‘It’?”

“Whatever happened to her.”

“Why you?”

“For obvious reasons. I’d lost my job because of her and I was pissed off.”

“Weird. If she’d run out of gas, you’d think the pump jockey would have seen her at the station again.”

“Well, yeah. I thought maybe somebody else had seen the car, but nobody ever said. It was way out in the boonies, but I still can’t believe I was the only one who spotted it. When the sheriff’s department didn’t come up with anything, I decided to leave it alone.”

“And you’ve never told anyone?”

“Kathy,” he said. “This was after we were married. I don’t believe in couples keeping secrets and it bothered me a lot. So one night I’d had too much to drink and I blurted it out. She didn’t think it was a big deal. She told me to forget about it and that’s what I did. The detective had already talked to me a couple of times, same way he was talking to everyone else, but he never asked when I’d seen her last and I didn’t volunteer.”

“And the car was just sitting there?”

“Right. Maybe fifteen, twenty yards off the side of the road. I could see it in my headlights, plain as day.”

“You’re sure it was hers?”

“Positive. There was only one like it in the county. She’d been driving it around since the minute Foley gave it to her. Absolutely, it was hers.”

“Had she had a flat tire?”

“That’s possible. I didn’t see a flat, but it could have been that. Could have been anything.”

“Was the engine idling or off?”

“Off and the headlights were off. The road was really rough, and I’d slowed to a stop, intending to turn around. That’s when I saw the car. I rolled down the window and looked out, but everything was still as stone. I actually sat there a couple of minutes, but nothing happened, so I said to hell with it and went back the way I’d come.”

“Could she have stopped to let the dog out?”

“I didn’t see the dog. At the time, it didn’t occur to me there was anything creepy going on. Now, I don’t know.”