Second Chance

Chapter 64

I RACED DOWN THE HALL to the elevator and then to Jill's office.

As I charged in, she was on the couch, reclined.

An EMS team, which had fortunately been at the morgue, was already there. There were towels, bloody towels, stuffed under her dark blue skirt. Her face was averted, but she looked as gray and listless and afraid as I had ever seen her.

In an instant, it was clear what had happened.

“Oh, Jill,” I said, kneeling beside her. “Oh, sweetie. I'm here.”

She smiled when she saw me, slightly wary and afraid.

Her normally sharp blue eyes reflected the color of dismal skies. “I lost it, Lindsay,” she said. “I should've quit work. I should've listened to them. To you. I thought I wanted the baby more than anything, but maybe I didn't. I lost it.”

“Oh, Jill.” I grasped her hand. “It wasn't you. Don't say that. This was medical. There was a chance of this. You knew that going in. There was always this risk.”

“It was me, Lindsay.” Her eyes suddenly welled with tears.

“I think I didn't want it badly enough.”

A female EMS tech asked me to step away, and they hooked Jill up to an IV line and a monitor. My heart went out to her. She was usually so strong and independent. But I had seen a transformation in her; she had looked forward to this baby so much. How did she deserve this?

“Where's Steve, Jill?” I leaned down to her.

She sucked in a breath. “Denver. April reached him. He's on his way back.”

Suddenly, Claire burst into the room. “I came as soon as I heard,” she said. She glanced worriedly at me, then asked the med tech, “What do you have?” She was told that Jill's vitals were good, but she'd lost a lot of blood. When Claire mentioned the baby the technician shook her head.

“Oh, honey,” Claire clasped Jill's hand, kneeling down.

“How're you feeling?”

Tears were running down Jill's face. “Oh, Claire, I lost it. I lost my baby.”

Claire stroked a curl of damp hair off Jill's forehead.

“You're going to be all right. Don't worry. We're going to take good care of you.”

“We have to move her now,” the EMS tech said. “Her doctor's been called. She's waiting for us at Cal Pacific.”

“We're going with you,” I said. “We're gonna be with you all the way.”

Jill forced a smile, then stiffened. “They're going to make me deliver, aren't they?”

“I don't think so,” Claire replied.

“I know they are.” Jill shook her head. She had more resolve than anyone I knew, but the scary truth forming in her eyes was something I'll remember the rest of my life.

The door opened, and another EMS tech wheeled in a gurney. “It's time to go,” said the woman who'd been working on her.

I bent down close to Jill. “We're going to be with you,” I said.

“Don't leave me,” she said, and held my hand.

“You can't get rid of us that easily.”

“Homicide Chicks, right?” Jill murmured with a tight smile.

They eased her onto the gurney. Claire and I helped. A bloody towel fell limply onto the floor of her spotless office.

“It's going to be a boy.” Jill whispered, letting out a pained breath. “I wanted a boy.” I guess I can admit it now."

I folded her hands gently on her lap.

“I just didn't want it badly enough,” Jill said, and then she finally started to sob and couldn't stop.