Shades

SIX

School was finished for the day, but Danny remained behind, reading a book in the school library; Magick in Theory and Practice by Aleister Crowley. Danny had bought it at the used bookstore on Harbor Street. Gustav had scoffed, but then insisted that he read it anyway. “Crowley was insane,” the Russian said, “but is important to gain knowledge even from the crazy, yes?”

“Danny?”

Mr. Bedrik’s voice surprised him. Danny jumped. He’d been so engrossed in the book that he hadn’t realized the man was there.

“Yeah?”

Mr. Bedrik was a hard-ass. Danny didn’t like him; had often skipped his class the year before. But now, the teacher was looking at him with a different expression. Not contempt or disapproval, but one of impressed surprise.

“I didn’t expect to see you here.” The teacher sat down next to him in one of the empty chairs. “After school detention?”

“No,” Danny mumbled. “Just reading.”

“Crowley.” Mr. Bedrik nodded toward the bookshelves. “The Master Therion. I can’t imagine you found that in here.”

Danny shook his head, and then closed the book.

“I have to admit, Danny. I’m impressed. That’s awfully advanced reading for a boy your age, especially given your academic past. Is this some sort of heavy metal thing? What’s that new band—Slayer, I believe? Do they use him in one of their songs?”

Danny shrugged. “No. I just thought it was interesting.”

“Indeed?” Bedrik smiled. “And you like it?”

“So far.”

“You should try Aceldama, his first published collection of poems. That was always my personal favorite.”

Danny’s eyes widened. “You read this stuff?”

Mr. Bedrik smiled. “Don’t sound so surprised, Danny. A thirst for knowledge is a good thing. Crowley himself said that ‘the solution is to develop consciousness so that we no longer think as a child or a school boy does’ and are ‘capable of comprehending incommensurables as pertinent to our own formula.’ So yes, I’ve read him. I read everything, all subjects. I have a wide variety of interests.”

“You…do you…practice it?”

“No. I just like to stay informed. You’re never too old to learn more.”

“You sound like Gustav,” Danny said. A second later, he realized the slip and shut his mouth.

“You know Gustav?” Mr. Bedrik sounded surprised. “The old bum who hangs around downtown?”

“Yeah,” Danny said. “A little. I mean, I’ve seen him around town. We’re not friends or anything. You know him, too?”

“Oh yes. I am aware of him. And you should be careful around him. He’s no good.”

“He’s okay,” Danny said. “I mean, he’s not a pervert or anything. His house is a dump, but he’s nice. No job, but he’s smart.”

“How would you know? Didn’t you just say that you’re not friendly with him?”

“Well…” Danny paused, trying to think of a way to cover. For some reason, Mr. Bedrik’s interest in Gustav made him uncomfortable. “We talk about books sometimes. That’s all.”

“Do you discuss Crowley with him?”

“N-no.”

“Danny, lying does not become you.”

“Yes. Sometimes I talk to him. Happy? But so what?”

“No reason.” Mr. Bedrik stood up. “I have things to attend to. You really should go home, Danny. School is done for the day. It’s nice outside. Do you really want to spend the evening reading books?”

“I thought Crowley said knowledge was a good thing?”

Mr. Bedrik’s smile faded. “He also said ‘A little knowledge is a dangerous thing; more than a little is certain disaster.’ Keep that in mind in regards to your friend Gustav.”

“You think he’s dangerous?”

“I think you know more about him than you’re pretending. And yet, I think you don’t know enough.”

“What do you mean? Is he like a Russian spy or something?”

Mr. Bedrik laughed. “Hardly. But there are a lot of things about him that simply aren’t as they seem. His name, for instance.”

“What’s wrong with his name?”

“It’s not Gustav.”

He walked out of the library. The doors swung shut behind him. Danny frowned. The teacher had acted…different. No hollering. No angry incriminations. No disdain. It was like he’d actually been interested in what Danny was doing.

Weird. His comments about Gustav were even weirder—but understandable. After all, most of the adults in Brackard’s Point thought the old man was a simple vagrant, living in that ramshackle house. They didn’t know his secret. Still, Mr. Bedrik had seemed to know something.

Danny felt bad for being suspicious. Of course Mr. Bedrik was acting weird. His brother had recently been killed. Danny shuddered, remembering how the crabs had eaten the body. Mr. Bedrik was probably just impressed that Danny was reading. He’d tried talking to him—and Danny had responded with mistrust. He glanced out into the hallway, but the teacher was gone.

For a moment, he considered running after him and warning Mr. Bedrik about what Matt, Jeremy, Ronnie and Chuck had planned for him, but in the end, loyalty to his friends won out. He wasn’t a rat. Fuck that noise.

One month ago, Mr. Bedrik had caught Jeremy, Ronnie, and Matt kicking the shit out of Terry Hampton after Terry refused to let Jeremy copy his test answers. Everyone else had the smarts to let Jeremy do whatever he wanted, but not Terry. He was new, and didn’t know about Jeremy’s low tolerance of people who didn’t share.

The three boys had caught up with Terry behind the shop class. Chuck and Danny weren’t with them at the time. If they had been, Matt probably wouldn’t have been involved.

Matt had moved to Brackard’s Point when they were in fourth grade, after bonds had already formed between Danny, Jeremy, Ronnie, and Chuck. Sometimes, Matt still acted like the new kid, eager to please his friends and gain their acceptance.

Jeremy could be mean, and sometimes his cruelty was infectious, like when they fed the Alka-Seltzer to the birds. Ronnie always went along with whatever Jeremy suggested. Chuck and Matt were more reserved. They usually sided with Danny’s calmer influence.

But Danny and Chuck were playing the new Paperboy video game down at the pizza place on Congers Road that day, and Matt had joined in Ronnie and Jeremy’s madness. Hearing Terry’s cries, Mr. Bedrik caught them. All three got detention. It didn’t matter to Jeremy or Ronnie, but Matt’s old man hit the roof. He’d given Matt the worst beating of his life. Since then, Matt had been plotting to get even with the teacher.

Danny returned to his book, and tried to forget about everything else. His lips moved as he read. “Let then the Adept extend his Will beyond the Circle…”

Extend his will. He felt like he was ready, even though Gustav said he wasn’t. But he’d been studying hard, and he was ready to try.

Things were going to be different at home.

After a few more minutes, the words started to blur together. The school librarian cleared her throat and then looked meaningfully at the clock. Danny closed the book and left, heading for Gustav’s house.

789

Gustav handed him a package wrapped in tacky gold foil and tied with a silver bow.

“What is it?”

Gustav sat down in his dusty recliner and waved his hand. “It’s a present, yes? You do good in school.”

“A present?”

“Yes, boy, a present. Wrapped in paper. Surprise inside. Present.”

Danny grinned, forgetting all about Mr. Bedrik. “Can I open it?”

“Da. Open it already.”

Danny tore away the paper and stared at the small, red velvet box. There were no markings or store insignias on it. He opened the box. There were three items inside. An old Zippo lighter, meticulously polished, with a weird design etched into the side; a half moon, sun, serpent, and an eye.

He looked up at Gustav. “What do they mean?”

“They are Colleges of the Magus. The Moon is for thaumaturgy, the Sun for alchemy. The Snake is for sorcery, the Hand for Necromancy, the Eye for Divination, and the Dagger for Hemomancy.”

Danny squinted. “But I don’t see a hand or a dagger.”

“No. You cannot see them yet. You are not ready.”

“Not ready? I’m learning, damn it. That was the deal—I’d go back to school and study. So how can you say I’m not ready?”

Gustav laughed. “You think I give you new rules, yes?”

“Yeah.”

“No. You give you the rules. I only teach you how to see them.”

Danny sighed. “I know you’re Russian, but I really wish you’d speak English.”

Gustav tapped his temple and then his chest. “You know here and here when you are ready. Some things you are not ready to learn. Some things are too dangerous. Some your mind is not strong enough to see yet.”

“Like necromancy? That’s for making zombies, right? Voodoo.”

Gustav shrugged. “Necromancy is dealing with the dead. Never a good thing to learn. Necessary, yes, but not good. You are alive. The dead are dead and should stay that way.”

“Why?” Danny had already wondered about the dead more than once. Could he speak to the dead, talk to his father?

“The world is big, but the universe is bigger. There are things that do not like to be known. You learn something, you can’t unlearn it. Once you know, you always know. Is dark. Come outside.”

Gustav got up and walked into the kitchen. Danny followed. They went out into the back yard, and Gustav pointed at the sky.

“How many stars do you see?”

“Hundreds.”

“Yes, hundreds. Thousands, perhaps? And more too, but you cannot see them. They are endless. Limitless, yes? So is magic. You begin to see? Because magic is individual, is different for each person. There is no limit to how much you can learn. You study, you get knowledge. You pay price, you get more power. Magic is knowledge and power. Knowledge you learn. Power comes from somewhere else. You borrow it.”

“Like a sacrifice?”

“Da, sometimes. The elements. Or concentration. A debt in exchange for what you did. Perhaps part of your life or energy, or maybe your soul, yes? You pay enough, you can do anything. But sometimes magic wants more than you are willing to pay…”

Despite the warm night breeze, Danny shivered.

“You are cold?” Gustav asked. “Let’s go back inside.”

They returned to the living room. Danny picked up his present again as Gustav sat down.

“Thanks,” Danny said.

“The lighter is special,” Gustav said softly. “Keep it always. Do not lose it.”

“I won’t. What else is in here?”

“You have eyes. Look.”

Next was a small, black leather-bound book. The pages were blank.

“What’s this?” Danny asked. “A diary or something?”

He could hear Ronnie and Jeremy. If they found out he had a journal. They’d call him a fag. He didn’t tell Gustav, didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

“Diary?” Gustav roared with laughter, slapping his knees. “What are you, a Sissy-boy? Nyet, is not diary. Is Book of Shadows. Your Book of Shadows. There you write your spells. Magic that is just yours and no one else’s. No one else will be able to read it. They cannot destroy it. Is indestructible. When you die…”

He trailed off suddenly.

“What?” Danny asked. “What about when I die? What happens then?”

“Nothing,” Gustav said. He smiled, but his tone had changed. He seemed sad. “You are young. Live long time, yes?”

“Yeah,” Danny paused, studying him carefully. “But you said something once before, about—”

“I am old man,” Gustav interrupted. “Crazy commie bastard. Your words, yes? But true. I am old and I ramble. Say many things. Now, look in box. There is one more present.”

The third item was a new pocket knife.

“It is untouched,” Gustav said. “Open it carefully.”

Danny inspected the blade. It looked sharp. He ran his finger along the edge and blood welled up.

“So…” He sucked his finger. “What next?”

Gustav didn’t respond at first. He stared at Danny intensely.

“Next? Next, we begin the real lessons, yes? But tomorrow. Is late, now, and I am tired. Go home, come back tomorrow, and we begin.”

“Thanks again for the presents, Gustav. They’re really cool.”

“You are welcome, Danny.”

It surprised him, hearing Gustav refer to him by name. Usually, the old man referred to him as “boy”. Danny felt a surge of warmth for his mentor. Over the last few weeks, he’d come to think of him as a friend. He’d spent more and more time with Gustav and less with Chuck, Matt, Ronnie and Jeremy. He suddenly felt guilty about that, and wondered what his friends were doing now.

789

Bedrik stepped out of the shower. Steam rose from his body and fogged the mirror. Candles burned on the sink, their soothing fragrance filling the bathroom. He closed his eyes and sighed. He was calm, relaxed. Ready to meditate. He planned on seeking out whoever had discovered his brother’s body. It had to be someone with abilities like his. Not Gustav. He’d taken great care to mask his true nature from the old magus. Obviously, the Russian wasn’t aware of Bedrik’s plan. If he was, he’d have made a move by now. He hadn’t and that was a relief. It meant that Bedrik didn’t have to worry about attracting the attention of the Kwan. But if it wasn’t Gustav who’d discovered Martin, then that meant there was a third magus in Brackard’s Point. Danny? Impossible. The boy had latent talent. Anyone could see that. But reading Crowley after school did not make one an adept. However, Danny knew Gustav, and he’d obviously lied about their relationship earlier. Bedrik was sure of it. Could the old man be tutoring the boy? Was Danny his apprentice?

Bedrik’s eyes suddenly snapped open. He was instantly alert.

Someone was outside.

Someone had penetrated the circle around his home—a barrier invisible to the human eye. There was no sound. No flashing lights or blaring alarm; nothing to alert the trespasser that their presence had been detected. But Bedrik knew. He felt it immediately.

Moving quickly to the bedroom, Bedrik took off his towel and put on black running shorts and a t-shirt. Then he slid on his running shoes. As he dressed, he listened for intruders, but the house was silent. Bedrik slipped out the back door and moved through the yard. He peeked around the side of the house.

Matt Adams was crouched over the open hood of Bedrik’s car. He recognized the boy right away. Matt was one of Danny’s friends. He hadn’t grown up here with Danny, the way Jeremy, Chuck, and Ronnie had—but he’d been friends with them since moving to Brackard’s Point.

He’d been meditating, seeking an answer to the question of Danny. Now, here was one of Danny’s friends. The synchronicity was not lost on him.

Bedrik’s smile was cold.

Matt glanced towards the house and then the street, making sure he wasn’t observed. Then he turned his attention back to the engine. His hands were grimy.

Bedrik silently crept up behind him.

“Can I help you, Matthew?”

Shrieking, Matt jumped, smashing his head on the underside of the hood. Bedrik grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him away from the car. Matt was big for an eleven-year-old boy, but no match for the older man. He tried to break Bedrik’s grip, but the teacher squeezed harder. Matt’s other hand held a pair of wire cutters.

“Let go of me. I didn’t do nothing!”

“We’ll let the police decide that, Matthew.” Bedrik glanced at the engine. The wires had been cut. “I’ll bet your father will be very happy to learn how you’re spending your spare time. Imagine his reaction when you’re expelled from school.”

“No!” Matt lashed out, driving the wire cutters into Bedrik’s side. The point punched through his skin. Bedrik tossed him to the ground and felt his ribs. His fingers came away wet and red.

“You little shit.”

Moaning, Matt struggled to rise. Bedrik kicked him in the crotch. The boy collapsed, choking.

“Forget the police. Forget your father. You drew blood. I’ll deal with you myself.”

“Please,” Matt sobbed. “I didn’t mean to do it. I was just pissed off.”

“Who else knows you’re here?” Bedrik demanded. “Chuck? Ronnie and Jeremy?”

Danny?

Bedrik’s anger faded. An idea occurred to him. It was perfect.

“Nobody,” Matt moaned. “I swear. I didn’t tell no one. Chuck’s at home fucking around with his bass Ronnie and Jeremy went up to Hook Mountain to get stoned. I don’t know where Danny is. We haven’t seen him much lately.”

“You miss your friend, do you?”

Matt looked up at him and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “Who…Danny?”

“Yes. You’re resentful of the time he no longer spends with you?”

“Well, yeah…sort of.”

“Then I’ll make sure you see more of him. Stand up.”

“Are you gonna kick me again?”

“No, I’m not going to kick you. I’m going to help you. Come inside.”

Matt paused. “No way.”

“Come inside or I’ll call the police immediately and you can deal with your father’s retribution when you get home.”

Lowering his head, Matt followed the teacher inside the house. He limped, walking slowly and cradling his swollen testicles through his jeans. Bedrik closed the door behind them.

Then the screaming started. It continued for a very long time.

789

Later, Bedrik returned to Gethsemane Cemetery and stood in front of a headstone. Sam Oberman stood guard nearby, his body occupied by another. A ball of fireflies hovered over the grave. The name on the stone was Timothy Wells. His spirit was enraged, his mind like a hornet’s nest, seething with images. A crowbar. Blood. Teeth. Violation. A used condom. A child’s Halloween mask. Bedrik didn’t know what it all meant, and didn’t care. If he’d had more time, he’d have searched Wells’ memories in detail. But he didn’t. Timothy Wells longed for release. For revenge. That was enough.

“Come forth,” Bedrik commanded.

Timothy Wells’ shade slithered from the soil and knelt in front of its master.

Bedrik returned home and the shade followed. They went inside.

The screaming continued.

789

Then it stopped.