She Is The Darkness

68

This time when I returned to flesh I was wiped out completely. I had just enough strength to grab some sugar water. I consumed my resources a lot faster, apparently, when I had to fight Smoke all the time.

Croaker was talking to somebody on the other side of the curtain. I did not recognize the voice so I did not include myself in the discussion.

The subject seemed to be a rapid deterioration in our fortunes due to a sudden increase in the number of shadows getting past the troops below the Shadowgate. Shadows were turning up everywhere now, though not yet in disastrous numbers.

The man reporting to Croaker was a courier who had come all the way around Overlook from the Old Division. Mission completed now, he did not want to go back out into the night even when Croaker offered him one of One-Eye's amulets.

"You're perfectly safe now," Croaker told him. "The shadows won't know you're around."

"I don't trust—"

"Don't test my temper, soldier. I'll call the guards."

Smoke groaned. It was a for real, out-loud, full-throated kind of groan.

Croaker started to snarl at the messenger again. The ground shook as though somebody had dropped a seven-ton boulder next door. Dirt rained down. Some got into my food. Some went down the back of my neck. I was too tired to care much, or even to wonder what was happening. Croaker pulled the hangings aside. "What was that?"

"The old fart made a noise."

"He didn't make the earth shake, did he?"

I shrugged. "I don't know about that. I do know Lady wants to take one more crack at Overlook." I explained the situation there. "Wouldn't it be something if we could just round them all up? If we ended up getting the best of everybody because they couldn't stop feuding among themselves?"

"We've been doing that for the last five years. More or less. I don't like the idea of her going in there again. She ought to hunker down till morning. A place like Overlook could turn into a death trap if the shadows infest it."

I said, "We'd really better worry about Longshadow's health. If the well-being of the Shadowgate depends on his well-being."

"Uhm?"

"A lot of the insane stuff he did the last several years he did because Soulcatcher and Kina were manipulating him. But he was paranoid about the shadows twenty years before any of us showed up in these parts. He's convinced they're out to get him. What if he's right? What if they do get him? I don't know what happens to a man when the shadows come, except that he dies horribly. If one of them kills Longshadow, will that break open the Shadowgate? Would that be why they want to get him so bad?"

"I don't know. I'd have to ask One-Eye."

"Where is that little shit? He should have been hanging around here instead of playing tonk."

"Tonk?"

"A while ago he was bitching because he wanted to get back to his burrow. He'd suckered somebody into coming over to play."

"He was bullshitting you, then, Murgen. There's nobody in this army stupid enough to play cards with him anymore. Maybe he was going to get drunk. Why don't you run over there and—"

"I'm wiped. That's one reason I wanted to see One-Eye. I don't have anything left to give."

Croaker sighed. He started to settle his winged Widowmaker helmet onto his head. "What should he look for?"

"He'll want to keep track of Lady and what's happening in Longshadow's chamber. He'll have to fight Smoke every step to do it, though. The little shit is really turning into his old chickenshit self. He don't want to get near this or that or... Never mind. Tell him if he sees something Lady ought to know about, he can sort of warn her by getting his point of view down right in front of her and screaming. She won't pick up anything word for word but she'll understand that there's something she needs to know. Then she'll pick up the gist of it."

Croaker frowned. He was really worried about Lady going back into Overlook. He asked, "Can you make it back to your place?"

The sugar water had given me strength enough to attack some hard rolls and fragments of a scrawny chicken that had not been able to outrun the headquarters cooks. "Yeah. Now. I wish we'd brought more cattle. I'd cut somebody's throat for a good hunk of rare beef."

"One-Eye is supposed to have woven a network of spells around here to make the area proof against shadows. But I want you to take this amulet, too. Just in case."

It is never wise to count on One-Eye one hundred percent. Sometimes he gets sloppy. Sometimes he forgets. Sometimes he is too lazy.

Croaker said, "Bring the standard when you come back. Then I can give that amulet to somebody else."

"Still want me to go past One-Eye's hole? I'm better now."

"I'll handle it. Get some rest. If you've turned into the religious sort while I wasn't looking, beg your gods to get us through the rest of the night." Fortunately, there was not a lot of night left. The shadows would have to go into hiding before long. The tables would turn. Soldiers would spend the daylight hours hunting them.

During our conversation we had heard several remote screams. "Yeah." As I was about to leave I observed, "Shouldn't most of the stupid ones, the ones who didn't want to do the work or to inconvenience themselves, be dead by now?"

"I expect so. I imagine the shadows are learning from their successes, though. And their failures."

Shaking, I went out into the night.

Clouds masked the stars. I could see nothing but the occasional flight of a fireball and the glow atop Overlook's remaining lighted towers.

I listened for crows and owls and bats, for rats and mice. I heard none of those. There was no noise anywhere that was not of human origin. Shadows found nonhuman life nearly as tasty as human. And a whole lot less difficult about being hunted.

A breeze had begun to blow. I sniffed the air, considered the overcast. Looked like we were going to get some rain.

I descended into my own dugout. Inside I found Thai Dei huddled beside the fire, pallid for a Nyueng Bao, obviously frightened. Weird. I had trouble picturing him being scared of anything.

I told him, "We'll be fine here. This candle will keep out any shadows that get through the spells One-Eye spread around outside." I did not mention the standard. He did not need to know. I tossed him the amulet Croaker had given me. "For insurance. You wear that, you can go anywhere safely."

"I'll go nowhere till the sun is high in the sky."

"I like your attitude. Shows good sense. I'm exhausted. I need to get some rest before I collapse." I looked around.

"Where's your mother?"

Thai Dei shook his head. "I don't know. I wouldn't know where to start looking if I could summon the courage to rid myself of the cold water that has replaced my bones."

"She isn't out there with Uncle Doj, is she?" Concerned, tired, I spoke without thinking.

Thai Dei was not so frightened and worried that he missed my slip. "Uncle Doj?"

Why pretend? "Oh, I know he's prowling around out there. I saw him the other night. Him and Mother Gota were prancing through the ruins of Kiaulune. Doing who knows what the hell why. Or maybe hell knows what the who. What's he up to? I'm sure he wasn't looking for plunder Mogaba's and the Prince's men missed."

Thai Dei just looked at me. Maybe a hint of a smile tried to break through. It did not last. "Will that candle last all night?"

Evidently he could become mildly talkative if he was scared and worried.

"It'll last a lot of nights. I'm going to crap out. If it makes you more comfortable, put on the amulet and sit next to the candle. Just don't move it. It has to block the doorway."

Thai Dei grunted. He had the amulet on his wrist already and was back at full worry.

I said, "We'll look for your mother first thing." Now that there was a chance she was dead I was concerned. Result of a whole lot of boyhood teaching that insisted that even the most hated member of your family was immeasurably precious. And there was some truth to that. Who will watch your back if not family?

It is the same here in the Company. The most loathsome, most despicable of my brothers has to be of more value to me than any outsider. On one level we are a big, ugly family.

There are, of course, rare exceptions, bullies and assholes so bad they have just got to be fragged. That has not happened in a long time.

I would look for my mother-in-law even though I had wished her away at least a hundred thousand times.

I was not yet all the way horizontal when sleep overcame me.