Shopaholic to the Stars

Beauty on the Boulevard

9500 BEVERLY BOULEVARD

BEVERLY HILLS, LOS ANGELES CA 90210

Dear Mrs Brandon

Thank you for your letter.

Unfortunately, I cannot confirm whether the woman browsing at the La Mer stand was ‘Julie Andrews in dark glasses and a headscarf’.

I therefore cannot pass on your comments, ‘How hot was Captain von Trapp in real life?’ or ‘I’m sorry I sang “The Lonely Goatherd” at you, I was just very excited.’ Nor can I pass on your invitation to ‘come round for a fun sing-along with apple strudel’.

In answer to your further inquiry, we do not throw ‘Welcome to LA’ parties, nor offer free gifts to new arrivals; not even teeth-whitening kits to ‘help them fit in’. However, I wish you every success with your imminent move to LA.

Thank you for your interest.

Customer Services Consultant