Skippy Dies: A Novel

‘Was your grandfather really in the war, Skip?’

‘He was my great-grandfather. My mum’s grandfather. He got his right hand shot off.’

‘Wow –’ Dennis performs some internal calculation ‘– does that mean you have an ancestor who wasn’t a bender?’

‘You know what I am thinking is –’ Mario speaks up here ‘– if you needed to raise an army of zombies, this Western Front would be a good place to go.’

‘Mario, what the hell do you want an army of zombies for?’

‘I don’t want an army of zombies, I’m just saying that if you did, a good place to go would be the Western Front, because of all the dead people lying around there from the war?’

‘No, it wouldn’t, you stupid wop, they’d all be missing arms and legs and stuff.’

‘Up yours, Hoey, you are the wop, because FYI if you die and then you are reanimated you can attach your limbs back on.’

‘That’s bollocks.’

‘It’s not bollocks, everyone knows that.’

‘It’s total bollocks.’

‘Well, they could throw the arms and stuff at you,’ Mario continues gamely.

‘With what, Mario? They could throw their arms at you with what? With their mouths? With Il Duce?’

But now Skippy’s phone bleeps and the conversation gives way to a charivari of coos and kissy-noises as Skippy, transformed into one giant goofy grin, reaches for his pocket.

In the end it was all so simple! What happened was, Lori’s dad saw her kissing Skippy outside the gates the night of the Hop and he freaked – he thinks she’s still too young to be with boys, and he grounded her for two whole weeks, and even confiscated her phone. That’s why she hadn’t replied to Skippy’s poem, and she was sorry because it was so beautiful! And she had missed him so much.

At first Skippy couldn’t believe it. When he’d got that first message, sitting in the basement, it was like a wrecking ball had just crashed through the wall and he suddenly found himself looking out into the airy night. But he replied, and she replied to his reply, and to the reply to her reply; and though he was sure every message he sent would be the one that brought the whole magical card-house tumbling back down again, his phone kept buzzing with her responses, each one a little golden hit that travelled straight to his heart, right through and into today, until it’s like they’ve never been apart!

OMG Irish is SOOO BOORRRRIIIINGGGGG like wat is the point

Im in religion its worse

Our techer looks like an overweight vulture

Ours is like the little one from different strokes except not so little and not funny

Gross camamber baget for lunch wot u got

Ricotta its like eatng heatd up walpapr past

Ur so funy!!

In class the phone sits on his lap under the desk, set to silent but lighting up as each message arrives, as if it’s just as excited as he is; he tries to remember to keep half an eye on the teacher, because if he gets caught then his phone’ll be confiscated, which’d be a disaster – but somehow he can’t bring himself to worry, the world going on around him seems so far away, a dim flurry of ghosts, warm, noisy, coloured-in ghosts…

You won’t find the answer staring at your feet. Mr Juster, je vous en prie. Wakey-wakey, faggot. Concentrate, Daniel!

But when’s he going to see her? To have her so close and still out of reach is almost worse than the torture of not hearing from her at all. Isn’t her dad ever going to unground her?

Im just glad he didnt find out about da drinking +

pils he probly wd hav sent me off to bording skool!!!

He sounds scary

Hes not I love him but maybe he thinks all boyz r

like he was wen he was 14!!:)

Sorry ur rite its my fault ur grounded Im sorry

Dont worry I wont be here 4ever,

she says, although, arrgh, that doesn’t feel like much of a consolation right now.

And then midway through Science class, after a minor lull, he gets this:

Ive got an idea DJ –

DJ is what she calls him in texts, as in ‘Last Night a DJ Saved My Life’ –

– why dont u com visit me in my house!

Somewhere a trillion miles away Mr Farley is telling the class about natural incidents of electricity.

Seriously?

Why not they sed I cant go out they never sed I cant have frends over and then they cd c wot ur rly like!!>

Sure, but visit her house? With her overprotective dad who hates him? Okay, and then why not go for a picnic on the North Pole? Or swim to Atlantis?

It’s not a big deal DJ!!! U can come after skool, u r so sweet they wil love you + theyl stop worryin Just come bring ur frisbee it wil be fun I promis everything wil be fine

He lingers over these last words. Everything will be fine. It’s been so long since he thought this, since he could even imagine himself thinking it. And now here it is. Everything will be Fine! The Future, the Universe, will be Fine!

Okay so how about Friday?

Fridays miles away I cant wait that long! Why dont you just come up tomorrow!! I think you know where the house is?:)

And he laughs like she is right there to hear him laughing.

‘You find something funny about the term “ball lightning”, Mr Juster?’ Mr Farley asks him.

‘Uh…’ Skippy, yanked back those trillion miles, flails around helplessly. But Mr Farley just smiles, and carries on; and it’s like the room is filled with sunlight, too bright to see.