Small crimes

Chapter 11

I made sure I was out of the house before my parents woke up. I had my suit on. It was loose on me, especially around the stomach and thighs, but it looked okay. I got in my car and sat motionless for a few minutes. All I could think about was getting my hands on some cocaine and doing a few lines. I almost drove to Earl's house, but I stopped myself. I had slipped the night before and I knew I couldn't slip again, at least not if I wanted any chance of keeping the promise I made for my girls. As bad as the craving was, as fuzzy as my head felt, I knew I had to fight it. I checked the time and saw it was six thirty. I needed something so I drove to a twenty-four-hour convenience store and bought a box of powdered doughnuts and a large black coffee. The doughnuts and the coffee helped somewhat. At least they made my head feel a little less fuzzy.

While I sat in my car, I checked the scratches along my cheek in the rearview mirror. The swelling had gone down. They were still noticeable, but they didn't look as bad as they had.

It was almost seven. Still an hour before church. It had been years since I had been to services, the last time probably being right after Courtney was born. I couldn't say exactly why I had decided to go today. It was just something that I felt I needed to do. Something that was driving me at a gut level.

I finished off the powdered doughnuts. I still had fifty minutes to kill. My shoes were looking scuffed, so I went back into the convenience store and found a shoeshine kit. After I had worked on them for a while, they looked better. I still had twenty minutes to kill. I went back into the store, bought a paper, and read it until it was time to leave. Then I drove over to the church and found a spot in the parking lot.

The attendance was better than at Kelley's the night before, the church about three-quarters filled. Minister Charles Thayer was standing behind the pulpit announcing news about different members of the congregation. I took an empty seat in the last pew. One of his eyebrows rose as he recognized me.

I noticed Phil sitting in the front with Clara, and his younger daughter, Megan. Clara had makeup caked on, but even so, dark purple bruises stood out along the side of her face. Somehow Phil sensed that I was there. He glanced back at me quickly, his expression completely blank. Other members of the congregation started to look back at me, some of them glaring openly. I guess Thayer decided to address the situation. He made an announcement welcoming me, stating that while I had committed a terrible crime I had confessed freely in open court, and if God could forgive and love a repentant sinner, so could my neighbors. There was some mumbling after that, but there was also head-nodding. Phil Coakley sat stone faced. I could see Clara squeezing his hand. I could see Megan fighting back tears. After that I only half heard what Thayer had to say. I was too busy watching Phil, trying to make up my mind about something.

When Toni had leaked out her secret about Phil it got me thinking about how I could use it. Now I had an idea worked out. Nobody would end up dead from it, nobody would even get badly hurt. It wouldn't solve my current problem, but it would buy me some time, maybe a week, maybe longer. And maybe given the extra time my problem would resolve itself. Who knows how much longer Manny really had? Maybe he had a month or two like the doctors were telling him, but with some luck maybe he only had a week or less. If I could keep finding ways to buy myself time I had a chance of getting out of this mess without having to kill anyone.

What troubled me about my idea was that while no one would get physically hurt, it would end up humiliating Phil, and would also damage and possibly even destroy his career. From the hints Toni had dropped I had a pretty good idea who Phil was seeing. Better than even money it was the redhead, Susie. I didn't know for sure, but I had a pretty good feeling that's who it was. With Muscle-shirt strutting about there was no way she could entertain anyone in one of the back rooms at Kelley's. She'd have to meet Phil in a motel. Also, I know it's kind of a cliche saying this about a stripper (and more times than not it turns out to be the exact opposite), but she seemed like a genuinely sweet girl. I could see her looking on it as an act of mercy. But still, if Phil and she were caught in a motel room and a morals charge was brought against him, it would sideline him, and maybe for a good deal longer than a week. I was still trying to make up my mind when Thayer's sermon ended. People started to mill out of the church, a few of them nodding to me as they went by.

As I got up to leave, I heard Thayer call my name. He was walking briskly to catch up to me, a broad smile on his round red face.

'I was glad to see you here today, Joe,' he said as he took my hand with both of his. 'Thank you, Reverend.'

'I hope this is going to be a weekly occurrence?'

'I hope so.'

'Good, good.' His eyes moistened as he gave my hand a couple of friendly pats. 'I am so glad for this change of heart in you, Joe. Remember, in the eyes of God, we're all sinners. But for the truly repentant, it's never too late for redemption. Remember that. I'll be looking for you here next week. And hopefully your parents also. If you could, tell them for me, we've missed them here.'

He let go of my hand and gave me a warm pat on the back before turning to talk to one of the other members of his flock. I knew I wouldn't be seeing him again. At least not in church.

When I got to my car I found Phil leaning against it. The way the sunlight hit his face made it look like some crazy grotesque quilt that had been stitched together with red and blue thread. As I approached him, he showed me a little smile.

'I can't help wondering what con you're trying to pull, Joe,' he said.

'What do you mean?'

'Why you would bother showing up at church? Because, Joe, you're about as repentant as a rabid dog.’

'And why's that?'

He shook his head sadly, still smiling. 'If you were truly repentant you'd confess to all your crimes, not just the one you were caught red handed in.'

'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'Of course you do. Before you set fire to the documents that I had collected, I was building a case against you for money you had stolen from the evidence room. There were a number of thefts and burglaries along the way, weren't there, Joe? And maybe worse crimes than that?'

He stopped, his eyes narrowing as he studied me. I saw a brightness flash in his eyes and then a crazy smile twisting his lips. Before I realized what was happening, he jumped forward and grabbed me, trying to pin my arms behind me. A few of the churchgoers stopped to gawk at us. More started to come over. Thayer wandered over, a look of bewilderment spoiling his round red face.

The last thing I wanted to do was scuffle with Phil in the church parking lot. I let him pin my arms back. 'Let go of me,' I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

He ignored me. 'Call the police,' he demanded to the crowd that had formed. I heard someone calling with a cell phone.

Thayer stepped forward. 'Phil, what in the world is going on?'

"This repentant sinner of yours was snorting cocaine before services. You can see the residue on his nose, chin and suit jacket. I'm holding him until the police come.'

I started laughing. Normally I would have just stood still until the police arrived, but I didn't want to risk a drug test and have cocaine from last night show up. 'Reverend,' I said, 'whatever powder is on me is from powdered doughnuts. You'll find an empty box in my car.'

Thayer walked over to my car, peeked in, and then walked back to me. He dabbed his finger against my chin and tasted it.

'Phil, let go of Joe immediately,' he said. I saw an empty box with my own eyes and this is nothing but powdered sugar.'

Phil didn't move, at least not at first, and then he reluctantly let go of me. I took a step away from him, making a show of grimacing and rubbing my arms. As I turned to face him I could see nothing but loathing in his eyes.

'I'm sorry,' he said, without much feeling.

I held out my hand to him. He had no choice, he had to accept it.

'I am so sorry for what I did to you eight years ago,' I said, hamming it up, but for the most part meaning what I was saying. I wish to God there was some way I could take it back, that I could've been the one stabbed instead of you. But there's nothing I can do, Phil, except pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.'

It was all true, but I still I laid it on pretty thick. All he could do was stand there and take it. I let my eyes wander to the crowd that had gathered around us and could see that I'd won over a few of my fellow townspeople. Not all, but a few. At that moment I made up my mind. If that sanctimonious holier-than-thou sonofabitch was going to screw around with prostitutes and then try to act morally superior to me, the hell with him.

A police cruiser pulled up with its siren blaring. Tony Flauria stepped out of it. 'Okay,' he said, bulling his way forward, his eyes focused on me, 'someone call in an emergency?'

Thayer stepped forward. 'Nothing but a misunderstanding, Officer.'

Flauria looked towards Phil. 'Is that right, Mr. Coakley?'

Phil stood silently for a moment and then nodded.

Flauria gave me a long hard look before turning back to his cruiser. The crowd started to disperse. Phil hung back until we were alone.

'Hey, Joe,' he said as he walked off. 'What can I say? I made a mistake. Don't worry, next time I'll be more careful. Next time my evidence will be rock solid. I promise.'

I watched as he walked away and got in his car. His two girls were sitting there waiting for him. All three of them looked like ghosts as they drove by. I waited until they were out of sight and then walked a block to a payphone. I then called and left a message for Dan Pleasant, telling him where I would be.

It was ten thirty. After seven years of watching his routine, I knew Morris Smith would be in his office reading the Sunday paper. I headed over to the Bradley county jail. When I got there I found Morris with his feet on his desk, leaning back and doing the Sunday crossword puzzle. He seemed surprised to see me.

'Well, hello there, young fellow,' he croaked. He struggled to pull his feet off his desk and then extended a hand to me. 'To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?'

'L thought I'd swing by and see if I could interest you in a game of checkers.'

'Why, certainly. I'm always up to teaching a youngster like you a lesson or two.'

His soft rubbery face seemed to light up as he took the checkerboard from his desk drawer.. 'How's business been?' I asked. 'Oh, very light,' he said. 'No steady customers since your recent departure. Only a few temporary guests. A few drunks and disorderlies. Nothing too interesting. So, Joe, Sunday's my day off. How'd you know I'd be here?'

'Come on, Morris. Who are you trying to kid? If you're going to read the Sunday paper, you might as well collect overtime while doing so.'

He chuckled at that. We had the pieces set up and his rubbery, jovial face became deadly serious as he made the first move and stared intently at the board.

I was just killing time while I waited for Dan to show. I wasn't paying enough attention and before I knew it I had a sure win. There was no way out of it without making an obvious blunder, so I took the game. Morris's mood seemed to darken with the loss.

'You caught me off guard,' he noted sourly. 'Sooner or later I was bound to get lucky.’

‘Quit gloating and set them up again.' I let him win the next three games and his mood brightened. 'Your luck's left you, young fellow,' he said as he tried to suppress a smile.

'I've got to learn when I've met my match,' I said. Halfway through the next game, I let myself accidentally blunder into a combination that would leave me being double-jumped. Morris spotted it and couldn't keep the smile from his face. He moved quickly, pouncing on the move, and then settled back in his chair, his hands folded across his thick body, a thin Cheshire cat grin playing on his lips.

'So, Joe,' he said, 'have you given any thought about leaving Bradley?'

'I've been thinking about it.'

I pretended to notice the double jump I was being forced into. I winced, swore, and then grudgingly made the move I had to. I could tell Morris appreciated the show. He carefully double-jumped me and picked up my checkers.

'I heard about what happened a couple of nights ago,' he said. His thick eyelids were raised as he watched me. 'With Phil's daughter and those two boys. You almost ended up back here. Or worse.'

'I should have recognized her,' I said. I hadn't seen her since she was fourteen, and she was wearing dark glasses, but I should have recognized her.'

'Maybe so. But I think, Joe, your luck has run out in these parts. You'd be better off with a fresh start someplace else. As much as I'd miss these games and the sterling competition that you offer me, I think that would be the best thing for you.'

There was a knock on the door. As it swung open, Dan Pleasant leaned in.

'I was hoping to catch you here, Morris,' he said, and then he did a double-take as he pretended to be surprised by my presence.

'Speak of the devil,' he said. 'Joe, I was just talking about you.'

He ambled over to me, a pleasant smile stretched across his face. After we exchanged handshakes, he shook his head as if in amazement.

'How long has it been, Joe? Years, huh?' Then to Morris, 'What are you doing letting this miscreant hang around here? He'll set a bad example for our other tenants.'

Morris seemed a bit taken aback by Dan's arrival. 'I've been teaching this young man a lesson in humility,' he croaked out in that gravel voice of his.

Dan pulled up a chair and sat down, leaning back with his hands clasped behind his head. 'I'm glad I found you here, Morris. I need an inventory of the stockroom.'

Morris made a face. 'It's Sunday. Can't it wait until tomorrow when I can put one of my staff on it?'

'I'm sorry. I'm working on a budget proposal and I need this right away. Of course, since you're here putting in overtime, I figured it wouldn't be too much of an imposition.'

'And you need the inventory right this moment?'

'I would like it, yes.'

Morris raised his eyelids as he glanced suspiciously at both of us. With a great deal of effort he pushed himself out of his chair. As he made his way across the office, he stopped to waggle a finger at me.

'Don't go moving those checkers around. I have the position right up here.'

He tapped his skull and gave us both one last suspicious glance before leaving the office and closing the door.

Dan turned to me, smiling as pleasantly as ever.

'I wasn't kidding before about just talking about you,' he said. 'What happened this morning?'

'I ate some powdered doughnuts before church. Some of the powder must've gotten on me and Phil thought it was cocaine residue. He jumped me right there in the church parking lot.'

'You're kidding?'

'Nope.'

Dan chuckled at that. I guess our DA friend is chomping at the bit to nail you any way he can. Let me ask you a question. What the hell were you doing going to church?'

'I don't know.' I looked away. I guess I was trying to fill some spiritual void.'

'Yeah, well, you should've tried filling it last night at Kelley's.' He was still smiling, but it was thinner and less pleasant. I talked with Toni. I don't understand you, Joe. That was all the spiritual enlightenment you needed right there. And an exclusive and expensive one at that. A hell of an expensive one. Here I go out of my way to help you out and what do you do? You walk out on her?'

'I wasn't feeling good last night.'

'You weren't feeling good, huh?' He started laughing, but it came out kind of brittle and harsh. 1 don't know. You've been acting soft in the head ever since you got out of jail. All I asked of you was to keep a low profile, do what needs to be done, and then move the hell away from here. Instead you go to Zeke's just begging for trouble-'

'I didn't go to Zeke's looking for trouble.'

'Of course you did. The same reason you went to church this morning. It's making me wonder whether I can count on you. It's really causing me to think, Joe, especially about your Tuesday deadline.' He paused to study me, his smile now completely gone. 'So what's so important that I had to be dragged here?' he asked.

'I found out something about Phil last night.'

'Yeah?'

I hesitated, feeling a little sick inside thinking about what I was doing.

'Hurry it up. I don't have all day.'

I took a deep breath and told Dan about Phil's weekly trysts. 'No kidding?’

‘No kidding.'

His smile came back. 'Well, it explains why you walked out on Toni.'

'Why's that?'

'Never mind,' he said, chuckling to himself. He seemed to enjoy whatever private joke he was having. He wiped a tear from his eye and asked, 'What girl's he seeing?'

'I'm not sure, but I think it's the redhead.'

'Susie?'

'Yeah, I think so.'

'What do you know,' he said. 'He's got good taste, I'll give him that. So why's this so important?'

I hesitated again as I felt my stomach twist into knots. I waited until the discomfort passed. 'If your boys can catch them in the act, you could have the county bring a morals charge against Phil. That would sideline him for at least a week and buy us some more time.'

He sat like a mannequin as he stared at me, his smile frozen into something not quite human. He was like that for a good several minutes.

'Why am I wasting my time with you,' he finally said.

'We're playing a waiting game now with Manny,' I tried to explain. 'If we can buy enough time this problem is going to resolve itself and-'

"There is no problem if you take care of either Manny or Coakley. That's all that has to be done. It's so damn simple, but you want to make it into some big complicated mess. I really think you have gone soft in the head, Joe. I'm serious about that.'

He got out of his chair and took several angry paces before turning back to me. 'Quit trying to be so fucking smart,' he forced out. His skin color had dropped to a sickly white. He was breathing hard and I could tell he was making an effort to control his emotions. 'You think you're so goddam brilliant, and maybe in some ways you are, but in other ways you're the stupidest motherfucker I know. This is simple. So very fucking simple. Just take care of it and get it done before Tuesday. This is the last time I'm going to tell you that.'

'Dan, why don't you think about what I said-'

'Shut the fuck up.' He pointed a finger at me. 'Just shut your mouth and think. Quit acting like a goddam moron.'

He started towards the door, but stopped to face me.

I'm pissed off right now,' he said. 'So don't get too offended, okay? Just fucking think and do what needs to be done. And when Morris comes back, tell him I'll pick up his inventory later in the week.'

After Dan left, I sat alone and generally felt lousy. It just seemed like such a rotten thing to do, telling Dan about what Phil was doing. If I hadn't maimed him, he wouldn't be seeing a prostitute. And here I was trying to expose him even further. I felt some relief that Dan wasn't going to use what I told him, but it still made me sick to my stomach thinking about it. At that point I made a decision. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen, but Phil was going to be left out of it. I wasn't going to cause him any more damage. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do, but I knew that much.

When Morris came back with his inventory, I gave him Dan's message. It left him in a foul mood. I let him beat me a few more times and it mollified him somewhat. A little before twelve thirty I stood up and offered him my hand.

'I've got to get out of here while I still have a little dignity intact,' I told him.

'Well, young fellow, thanks for stopping by to see me,' he said, his eyelids half raised. 'At least, I think so.'

I wasn't quite sure what he meant by that. I murmured something about seeing him around.

'Funny about Dan showing up for that inventory,' he noted.

'Yeah, that did seem kind of odd to me also. Well, so long.'

Morris let his eyelids droop a bit more. 'As far as seeing me around,' he said, I certainly hope not. At least not here in Bradley. I hope by this time tomorrow you're walking along the sunny beaches of the west coast of Florida.'

'It's a nice thought, Morris, but I got a meeting with my parole officer tomorrow. But I'll be thinking about it.'

'I hope you do more than think about it. I'd hate to see you back here.'

'Don't worry, you won't.'

Morris walked me out of the building and we shook hands again before parting. I walked over to my car and sat inside, not sure what to do next. There had to be a way out, I knew there had to be, but I couldn't come up with it. If only it could be as simple as driving to Florida.

I tried picturing what it would be like living in Florida. Having white sand beaches and the ocean and hot weather. Drinking nothing but margaritas and daiquiris, and eating fresh key lime pie, stone crabs, and shrimp the size of my fist. I tried to imagine what it would be like living somewhere where nobody knew me and where nobody had any vendettas against me. The idea of it sounded so damn nice. If I took off I'd probably have six months, maybe as much as a year, before they caught up to me. I thought about it. It was tempting, but then it hit me how useless my life would end up being. And then I started thinking about my daughters. After a while they were all I could think about. More than anything I needed to hear their voices. Five minutes, that would be all I needed. It just didn't seem too much to ask for. I sat for a while longer and then drove to downtown Bradley, parked in front of the drugstore, and got five dollars' worth of change.

When I had gotten Elaine's address I had also gotten her phone number. There was a payphone outside the drugstore. I walked over to it, took out Elaine's phone number from my wallet, and stared at the jagged scrap of paper until I made up my mind. I felt jumpy inside as I dialed the number. While the phone rang I felt as if my heart was going to bust out of my chest.

A girl's voice answered, 'Hello?'

I tried to ask if she was Melissa but my voice cracked.

She asked again, 'Hello, who's calling?'

This time I was able to get my question out. My voice sounded odd to me. I realized I was trembling.

In a guarded voice, she said, 'No, I'm Courtney. Who's this?'

'I'm your dad.’

‘Who?'

I cleared my throat and tried to talk louder. 'I'm your dad, sweetheart,' I said, my words sounding hollow as they echoed through my head. I know it's been a long time. And I know you probably don't remember me, but I wanted to call to tell you that I've always been thinking of you and that I love you.'

She must've put down the phone. I don't think she heard most of what I said. I heard her yelling, 'Mom, there's a strange man on the phone who says he's my dad.'

I heard a more distant yelling, probably from Elaine. I couldn't make out what she was saying. Only that her voice sounded frantic. Then I heard a rumbling noise, probably somebody running.

Elaine had picked up the receiver. I don't want you calling again,' she said.

'Elaine, all I want to do is talk to my daughters-'

'You're not going to.' Her voice had become deadly calm. It kind of surprised me how calm it was. 'Tomorrow I'm going to get an unlisted phone number. I'm not going to let the girls answer the phone until we have the new number, so don't bother wasting your time.'

I heard a click as she hung up.

I stood there feeling as if I barely had the strength to move. Somehow I hung up the receiver and got back into my car. It hadn't fully hit me how important my girls were to me until I tried talking to Courtney. I had to find a way to live for my two girls. I had to give my life meaning for them. Otherwise, what the hell was the point of anything? The thought of that overwhelmed me. I sat still and forced myself to concentrate. Eventually I came up with a plan. It was a long shot, but given that Phil was off limits, it was the best I could come up with.