Take a Chance On Me

Chapter 15 Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?

Emma knew that Thomas had been out all night for work and, with any luck, would still be asleep. She tucked Hairy under her arm, inserted the key into his townhouse door, and quietly stepped inside.

Emma intended to put Hairy in his crate and leave. She didn't want to see Thomas. In addition to being ashamed about her public out-of-body experience last night, she was thoroughly pissed off.

Because he'd lied to her. Because as much as she wanted to pay him back every dime he'd given her, it was already gone. The money now belonged to Baltimore Gas amp; Electric, Allstate Insurance, Charm City Mortgage, and American Veterinary Supply, and she'd have to borrow yet more cash from Beckett to repay Thomas. What a mess.

Emma entered the room and let her eyes adjust. It was dim except for a narrow sliver of light that shot through a gap in the drapes. The low hum of music wrapped around her, and she recognized the sultry groan of Tom Waits-a piano man whose music should be banned everywhere but in seedy bars in the middle of the night, for the listening enjoyment of only the most severely drunk and depressed patrons.

It certainly wasn't suited to a sunny Saturday morning like this one.

Emma cocked her head and listened closely, now hearing more than just raspy lyrics and the tinkling of piano keys. She also heard the saw of deep breathing. Hairy squirmed out of Emma's arms and ran toward the couch-and her gaze followed.

She could just make out what lay on that couch, all stretched out and almost naked. Thomas's face was turned away toward the cushions, one burly arm bent across his bare chest, the fist closed in sleep. The other hand lay open, palm up, along the top of his right thigh.

He wore nothing but a thin pair of athletic shorts that looked gray in the muted light, the drawstring tied loose and low on narrow hips, his long legs stretched across the cushions.

Even in the poor light, Emma saw that he was golden, sculpted, perfect-the most exquisite male animal she'd ever laid eyes on. Too bad she'd never trust him again.

Then she wondered how many seconds it would take her to strip naked and start rubbing her flesh all over his.

"No, Hairy!" she hissed. "Damn!" She wasn't fast enough. Hairy hopped right on top of Thomas. The dog nosed his arm until it flopped over the edge of the couch, and began circling to find the sweet spot on his chest. Emma held her breath, expecting to see the poor thing hurled through the air.

Then she smiled-this ritual was nothing new to Thomas, apparently. He acknowledged the dog's presence with a clumsy pat to the head and a garbled greeting of "Hey, pal." Still asleep, he adjusted his body and turned his face toward Emma.

She stood completely still, unable to move even if she'd wanted to. She simply watched the dog ride the rise and fall of Thomas's chest as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

She was crying? What a lame-o thing to do, as Leelee would say. She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand, amazed and horrified by the tight sensation in her chest, the trembling in her limbs.

She didn't want to feel anything for him! He'd misled her, even if his motive was a nice one. A real nice one. Oh, hell-the man had paid eight thousand dollars just to have her near him!

Emma watched him sleep, trying to hate him and failing, seeing only how sweet he looked, how sexy-how lovable. Thomas Tobin, the surly, sneaky, undercover hit man, was so lovable.

Hairy had just nibbled his master's jawline, little flea-bites that made Thomas chuckle in his sleep and wave his hand to shoo away the dog. Hairy persevered, nipping a cheek and then an upper lip until Thomas began to groan and mumble.

Emma leaned closer and tried not to laugh. It seemed that a real friendship had blossomed between this man and this dog, and she was feeling quite proud of her role in the transformation when Thomas whispered something, and she tensed. Had she heard correctly? Had he just said her name?

Emma was studying Thomas's moving lips when a devilish smile spread over his face and he moaned, "Oh, yeah, Emma. Put your mouth on me."

Her hand flew up to stifle a gasp. Hairy skittered down Thomas's body as if to get out of the way, and Emma watched the dog jump down, race across the room, and curl up in a ball in the recliner.

Thomas mumbled something else and Emma turned back-to find that his eyes were halfway open and he was gazing at her behind heavy lids. Before she could escape, he grabbed her, crushed her against the front of his body, gripped the back of her head, and forced her mouth down onto his.

The top of Emma's skull nearly blew off. His lips were hot and impatient, and he was mumbling to her even as his tongue entered her mouth, flicked inside her. His other hand clamped down on her butt, grinding her crotch against his, and there was no escaping the man's outstanding attributes.

"Oh, yeah," he groaned against her lips. He dragged his hands to the back of her thighs and pulled until she was spread wide across him. "Ride me, Emma."

A strangled cry flew from her throat as she tried to end the crush of his embrace, the attack of his mouth, the spreading of her legs. She got a hand loose enough to smack his cheek.

Thomas went completely still beneath her. He released his death hold on her body, relaxed the lip-lock. And Emma pushed herself up from his chest, panting.

"Jesus!" Thomas sprang to life, throwing her off balance and sending her backward to the end of the couch, where she landed with a thud on his insteps. "Ow!" he screamed.

When he yanked his feet out from under her, Emma's rump hit the sofa arm.

"What the hell-" Thomas was fumbling behind his head for the lamp and Emma shielded her eyes from the abrupt glare.

She listened to him mumble swear words for a moment or two, then peeked out from between her fingers. Thomas's short curls were crushed to the side of his head. He was unshaven. His eyes were wild and rimmed with red.

And he was tugging on the drawstring of his shorts, now tented with the Big Daddy of all erections. She let her hands fall from her face so that she could ogle.

Then their eyes met. Thomas blinked at her several times and opened his mouth to speak. "I'm not sure what-"

Emma cut him off. "You!" she screamed, pointing like she was identifying a pickpocket on the street. "You lied to me again!"

"I did. A huge mistake."

She glared at him, catching her breath. "You will never lie to me again, Thomas."

"That's absolutely true."

"And what about… well… the other thing you did to me last night?" She crossed her arms under her breasts with a loud harrumph.

He blinked some more.

"Would you mind telling me how I had an actual… " Emma stopped and shot a glance toward Hairy-who was watching them intently. She continued in a whisper. "Look, Thomas. I had an orgasm on a picnic bench last night, surrounded by crab parts, without you even touching me. Would you please explain how that happened?"

Thomas waited a beat, not sure if she was through with her question, or even if it was a question, or if it might possibly be a redundant one. She seemed to want an answer, but he had no idea what to say-he was still half-asleep. Besides, all the blood that used to be in his brain was now in his shorts.

"I'm…"-he fumbled for the correct words-"… sorry about that, too?"

She snorted and tossed her loose hair from her shoulder. "I'm so angry with you!" Emma was desperately trying to keep her emotions in control, but there were too many to get a handle on-hurt, surprise, lust, and fear were right up there at the top of the list. "You're making me crazy," she said with a shaky voice.

"Emma-"

"How? How the hell did you get to me without laying a finger on me?"

Thomas smiled and the dimples popped to life even as his right eye narrowed. She hated when all those things happened at once-it made him so adorable she couldn't concentrate.

"Indirect communication, Miss Marple."

"Oh." After a sigh, she went right back to being indignant. "And what was this all about?" She pointed to his mostly naked body. "Were you dreaming about me just now?"

"Wouldn't be the first time." Thomas straightened up and rubbed his hands through his hair and over his face, nearly slapping himself awake. He stared at her.

She stared back.

Neither moved.

"Um, you're the expert, Emma, but I think we're having one of those 'four F' moments here, wouldn't you agree?"

She laughed at that. Thomas was actually quite funny-for a compulsive liar. With a sigh, she sat farther back on her heels and took a leisurely look at the man stretched out before her. His eyes were sleepy and dangerous. His body was long and brawny and nothing but glowing muscle covered in downy blond curls. The shorts were now tugged lower on his rippled abdomen, pulled by an erection so obvious that it should have been spotting a festive pink bow and a gift tag that read "For Emma."

She cleared her throat. "And which one of the F's are you leaning toward right now, do you suppose?"

"Mmmm." He draped a chiseled arm over the back of the couch and crooked a knee provocatively, shifting his weight. Emma checked out the Big One again and felt her mouth go dry.

"Well, you certainly don't frighten me." His voice was low and thoughtful. "And I don't particularly feel like fighting anymore. So I guess that leaves flight or-"

"Fucking me."

Silence.

Emma could not believe she'd said that! She clenched her eyelids shut in a reflex of utter mortification, tight enough, she prayed, to put an end to her very existence.

"Yep-that would be my first choice," he said in a hoarse whisper.

Did she dare look at him? With a wince, Emma opened her eyes. The muscles along Thomas's jaw were clenched tight and the tendons strained in his neck. He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple sliding along the length of his throat. His right eye was now just a slit.

"In fact," he continued, "since it's going to be nothing but the truth from here on out, here's the truth, sweet-cheeks-I've wanted to fuck you since the instant you walked into the exam room and that shiny braid of yours flew over your shoulder. And I've felt like fucking you every damn time I've had the pleasure of being in your company since then-the emergency clinic, the diner, the diner parking lot, your basement, your porch, Slick's apartment, my car, the-"

"Fine. I get your-"

"And right now. Let's go."

"-point."

He was already on his feet and hovering over Emma, his hand outstretched to her, his groin level with her face. She thought she might cry again.

"Move it, Miss Marple. We're going upstairs."

"But what about our working relationship?" Oh-now was a swell time to get all prim and proper, but Emma figured she should at least pretend to be the voice of reason, even if that voice just came out in a pitiful squeak.

"It's Saturday. I try not to work on Saturdays if I can help it."

"That's not what-"

He grabbed her hand and pressed it to the front of his shorts. She knew this was going to be a huge mistake, but Thomas Tobin was proving hard to resist.

Real huge. Real hard.

Emma's lips went numb. All she could do was nod her head real slow because who was she kidding? This was where they'd been going since the moment they'd met, whether she wanted to admit it or not.

She was simply the product of thousands of years of human evolution-a process that had fine-tuned Homo sapiens into the most sexual primates on earth. And she was just a healthy female of breeding age, one who'd gone more than a year without sex. Which wasn't natural. Not natural at all.

He pulled her to her feet, and before she knew what was happening, Thomas put his shoulder to her belly, tipped her off the ground, and flung her over his shoulder.

The air whooshed from Emma's lungs as they headed for the stairs. Then Thomas slapped a big hand down on her ass like he owned it, and she gasped. His other steely arm clamped around the back of her knees.

How was she supposed to respond to this kind of manhandling? No one had ever picked her up like this-outside of that Conan the Barbarian fantasy, to which this bore a striking resemblance, she realized.

Emma felt helpless, breathless, and a tiny bit petrified. But all she could do was stare at the receding steps and the upside-down view of the bulging muscles along the back of Thomas's thighs and calves, thinking the whole time that she was surely giving the man a herniated disc.

"Thomas, put me down. I'm too heavy."

"You're not too heavy."

"I am. Put me down."

"I plan to-on my bed."

The last thing Emma saw before they turned the corner of the upstairs hallway was Hairy, sitting near the bottom of the steps, his head tipped to the side and his lips pulled back in what she once again swore was a smile.

Are those monkeys I see flying out of your butt, Big Alpha?

Once inside the bedroom, pure panic hit.

His hand was on her butt-her butt!-which she knew he wouldn't find very appealing once they got to the down and dirty. How had she let it get this far? Pretty soon he'd be seeing the whole enchilada, right there in broad daylight, and he was bound to lose his appetite for Mexican.

The derriere in question hit the mattress and Emma bounced a few times, long enough for her to watch Thomas straighten up, put a hand to the small of his back, and stretch.

"Told you I was too heavy."

His eyes swept down to where she sat on the corner of the bed, gripping the mattress like it would keep her from falling off the edge of the earth.

She wasn't too heavy-she was perfect-the juiciest, most delectable collection of womanly parts he'd ever had the pleasure to put his hands on. He wanted to eat her alive. He wanted to make love to her in ways never before attempted in the history of their species.

Emma felt his stare work its way all along her body, from her feet on up. She started to squirm when his eyes returned to her hips and thighs. His expression turned serious, angry even. Emma knew the end was near. She wished he'd just say it!

"Let's get naked," he said.

Her pulse shot through the roof. Why was he doing this to her? He'd just glared at her in disapproval. He hadn't said anything about the blue dress, so he couldn't feel real affection for her. Could he feel sorry for her, was that what this was? A charity bopping?

Emma sucked in air at the sight of Thomas peeling off his shorts. He was nude underneath-completely, gloriously, mouth-droppingly nude.

And if this was the man's charity hard-on, she'd hate to see him in the throes of real lust.

Then, as if magically summoned, all the lovely ladies appeared in Emma's imagination, shoulder to shoulder like a police lineup-every woman Thomas Tobin had ever taken to bed. There they were, glamorous and disgustingly thin, a parade of lingerie models, flight attendants, Entertainment Tonight correspondents, and each had perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect makeup, and perfect little tushies.

She suddenly felt sick with dread.

"Emma?"

She realized she hadn't moved, hadn't even started to remove a single item of clothing. She simply stared at the deluxe model of manhood in front of her, jutting hard, thick, and already decorated with a single, crystalline drop of fluid.

She wanted to decorate him with her lips, her tongue. She wanted to embrace him, pull him inside her body, ride him, let him split her in half.

Drunk with lust-drowning in it-Emma began to unbutton her jeans, still staring, telling herself if she didn't do this, take advantage of this limited-time offer, she'd kick her own ass from here to eternity.

Her own big ass.

It hit Thomas like a metric ton of rock.

She was staring at him, grim-faced and silent.

She could tell!

He hadn't dared get this close to anyone since Nina. On the night he was injured, she'd touched him and told him he seemed swollen. Then, in a voice full of more accusation than concern, she'd told him that something was definitely wrong with him.

Since then, Rollo had assured him that his appearance was normal, but Emma was a scientist-a doctor, for God's sake! A person who knew how to neuter dogs! And she was staring at his package like someone who'd just taken a bite of Mrs. Q's tuna casserole.

His hand froze inside the bedside table drawer.

He must be crazy.

Why had he just dragged this woman up the stairs to his bedroom? He had absolutely no business bringing a woman into his life-his home, his heart-especially this extremely beautiful, kind, good woman.

But it was too late-because she'd taken off her clothes. His throat tightened. His cock jumped. She was nothing but soft, supple woman flesh-rich burgundy nipples that puckered into long peaks, creamy and succulent thighs and hips-and dear God, she deserved so much more than a pessimist with a bum nut and not enough sperm for a pickup basketball game.

Emma Jenkins deserved a whole man. A real man and a real relationship. A few kids someday. She was the world's most natural mother, and all those kids were going to be lucky little bastards.

But it was too late to stop, and with robotlike movements, he tore open the little foil packet that was all for show, slid on the condom and walked toward the bed. She was naked, staring up at him with huge blue eyes filled with… what? Disgust? Pity?

He came closer, put his hands on her shoulders and pressed her on her hack. He let his eyes sweep down her body-ripe and willing and opening beneath him-and he knew he couldn't go through with it.

He couldn't do this to her-he would not lie to her or mess with her head-ever again.

And if that was pity he'd just seen in her eyes, he sure as hell didn't want it!

Thomas heard Emma sniffle, felt her sob, and he pushed himself off the bed and away from her, his gut in turmoil, his heart ripped to shreds.

"Goddammit," he muttered, turning his back to her, lost to her, to reason, aware of nothing but how defective he was, how damaged and unworthy.

He nearly laughed aloud. The most alluring woman he'd ever laid eyes on was naked on his bed, crying. What a total disaster-a total disaster when all he wanted was total oblivion, total immersion in her, a moment to wallow inthe comfort and female softness of her and lose himself in her love.

All he wanted was her love.

It took every bit of strength Emma had to pull herself up to a sitting position. She folded her arms across her chest as if it would stop the shaking, staunch the bleeding.

That sure hadn't taken long. All she had to do was strip and all the fire and magic from downstairs was doused-gone-and nothing was left but a man with issues and a woman looking at rejection. Again.

Rejection.

Issues.

Baggage.

Emma wanted to scream!

Why did sex and love have to be so unbelievably complicated?

Thomas started to move. She watched him stalk toward the bathroom, providing her with a nice view of the high, muscular, man-ass that under any other circumstance would have made her punch-drunk with the pure wonder of it. She saw how the muscles rippled in his back as he reached infront of him to rip off the condom. She heard the soft ping as latex hit the inside of the wastebasket.

Right then would have been a good time to put her clothes on, but Thomas chose that moment to return to the bedroom, and Emma froze. He was still ferociously aroused, but his eyes were cold, as cold as she'd ever seen them, and his wide, sensual mouth was pulled in a thin line of despair.

"I have something to tell you," he said.

Thomas had reached a decision in the bathroom. The way he figured, he could make some bogus excuse and ask her to leave and lose her forever, which would probably be to her benefit, or he could tell her the truth-all of it-and hope beyond hope that she'd still want him.

What was the worst that could happen? He'd lose what he would have lost anyway, but at least he would have tried. At least he would have been a man about it.

"You deserve the truth," he said.

Emma gathered in her legs and wrapped her arms around her shins, compressing herself into a ball to stop the trembling. She didn't want him to see her shaking-from shame, from need. She didn't want him to see her naked.

"Spare me, Thomas." She looked at the wall. "I know perfectly well what you're going to say, and I can tell you from experience that I don't want to hear it." She took a steadying breath. "Give me a second and I'll get out of here, all right?"

She knew what? he wondered. That he was infertile? That he was dying from wanting her so much? That she looked amazing sitting like that, the lips of her little swollen sex peeking out from behind those tapered ankles?

Did she know he wanted to get down on his knees and worship her with his tongue? Did she know he wanted to pull those soft thighs of hers wide open and push his cock up inside her, disappear in her, die in the heat and relief and bliss of her? Did she know he wanted to give her everything, take away all the bad stuff that had ever happened to her and give her nothing but pleasure in return? Did she know all this?

"What do you think you know, Emma?"

She looked up at him, and the shock slammed through her entire body. His cold expression had been replaced by something hungry and desolate. And his erection! It was huge-more impressive than only a moment ago-and she simply didn't understand! If he didn't find her attractive, then why was he so… large? Why did she see desire in his eyes? What was going on?

"I think it's time for some direct communication." Thomas took a step closer. "You tell me what you know, Emma. Then I'll tell you what I know."

She exhaled sharply and launched off the bed, grabbing for her clothes. "I don't want to play this game anymore, Thomas," she snapped.

"This is no game. Tell me what you know."

She grabbed a shoe off the floor. "You want to know what I know? Well, listen up, Studly-I know I've had enough! You lie to me, seduce me, and then back off, then lie again, seduce me again, and back off again! You're killing me!"

She pointed the toe of a clog in his face. "You're a nut job, that's what I know! A whacko! And I don't understand why it's so damn hard to find a decent man in this town!"

Thomas felt his mouth fall open.

Emma tried to jam a foot into the leg opening of her underwear but missed, and her toe got caught on the crotch panel. As she hopped on one foot and cussed under her breath, Thomas watched those fabulous breasts jiggle and sway, all high and full and tipped with the most exquisitely formed, seriously suckable nipples he'd ever hoped to see as long as he lived.

She pulled the little strip of beige lace up over her mound. The panties clung tight and low on her luscious hips. And then it hit him.

Oh, fuck everything-he loved this woman and there was no turning back. He wanted to ravage that body. He wanted to soothe that spirit. He wanted to hold her, make her forget everything in the world but the fact that he loved her. He started to tell her that, but he wasn't fast enough.

"And here's what I'd really like to know-why is it that no one has ever fallen madly in love with me? What's wrong with me?" Her face was flushing and her eyes glittered with unshed tears. "Why hasn't someone ever swept me off my feet? Ravaged me? Made me forget everything else in the world but hot, wild passion? Just once, dammit?"

She shook her bra in his face to make her point. "You made me think that it was going to be you, damn you, and then you just reject me! That's the meanest thing anybody's ever done to me, and I let you do it twice! Go figure! I must be a complete idiot!"

She was waving the bra around like a semaphore, her eyes and hair wild. "And you… you bastard! If you didn't think I was sexy enough for you, why didn't you just tell me before I threw myself at you?"

Thomas found his voice long enough to say, "Huh?" Then his tongue nearly hit the floor.

She'd managed to shove her arms through the straps of her bra, but in her fury, forgot to clasp it. Two useless lace cups just hung there, separated in the front, skimming above the jut of her nipples, accentuating the round curve of the underside of each breast. With every ragged breath she took, the lace caressed the pale, creamy mounds of skin.

His whole body began to tremble, like a cat sprung tight before the kill.

"You obviously didn't think I looked good last night or you would have said something! I kept waiting for you to say something! But you didn't, you big jerk!" She gulped in a mouth of air. "I'm so sick of jerks I could scream!"

His eyes locked on hers.

"Stop staring at me!" The tears slipped down her face. "I hate it when you squint like that-it feels like you're looking at me through the cross hairs!"

"Stop, Emma."

"And I'm terribly sorry if you didn't think I looked nice in that dress, because listen up, big guy-that was as good as it's ever going to get with me, so if I didn't do it for you, then we've definitely hit the wall!" She began to wrestle with her jeans.

Thomas felt the rumble of a laugh begin deep in his chest, but knew he'd screw himself but good if he let it out. Emma needed tenderness right now, not laughter.

He took a deep breath. Obviously, the dress was the test and he'd failed miserably, just as he knew he would. It was time to beg for a makeup exam.

Thomas dived to his knees before her, his big hands ripping the jeans from her calves, then forcing her hips to the edge of the bed. Once she was seated, he grabbed her face, cradled it in his palms, and watched her eyes go wide with confusion. She began to shake beneath his touch, his gaze.

"What are you-"

His lips captured hers, hot and demanding, and the fire Emma had felt downstairs was back, but burning higher. His kiss was a slam of raw energy, raw need, and okay-so he did want her, but what about five minutes from now? Emma tried to wrestle free of his mouth, but he tightened the grip on her hips.

His lips traveled down the side of her neck. Using just his teeth, he dragged a bra strap down one arm and then the other until the bra fell on the bed behind her. His big fingers moved from her hips to brush up along the tender inside of her legs, stroking, coaxing.

Emma heard herself draw in a shuddering breath as she helplessly opened her legs for him. The unmistakable scent of her arousal slammed into her nostrils, and she nearly died from shame.

Oh, God! Why was she letting this happen? How stupid could one woman be? What was wrong with her? She needed to get him off her somehow-claw him, kick him, bite him if she had to-and run for her life. It was what any woman with a shred of self-respect would do.

But every cell of her body called out in ecstasy at the way he touched her. She was lost-it was too late-and she decided she'd worry about her utter destruction later.

After the pleasure.

When he was finished with her.