The Ajax Protocol

CHAPTER 25

Stephanie was waiting for them when they got back to Washington. Nick handed over the salvaged hard drive and logbook.

"Meeting tomorrow with Elizabeth at 0900," she said. "Ronnie, you come with me and we'll get those ribs checked out."

Nick turned to Selena. "Do you want to stay at my place tonight?"

"It's better if I go home. All I want is a hot bath and a good night's sleep."

He pushed his disappointment away.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said.

Back at his apartment, Nick poured himself a whiskey. He thought about Selena. What was it between them, anyway? Sometimes it seemed like they were on the same wavelength, as close to each other as a person could get to someone else. Other times, it was as if they lived on two different planets.

The whiskey warmed his stomach. He poured another. What did he really want from her? He realized he had never thought it through. He loved her, but did he want to marry her? What did people usually want from a marriage? He knew what he didn't want, he didn't want all the complications that went with having children. As far as he knew, that wasn't an issue for Selena. She had never given any indication that she wanted kids. So what was it?

He knew that most men would envy a situation like his. He had his own place and she had hers. They could get away from each other when they needed to. The sex was great. They worked well together. She could hold her own in the unusual and dangerous world they shared and he could rely on her when the chips were down. What more could anyone want?

Nick thought about Megan, the fiancée he'd lost years ago, the only woman he'd ever loved before Selena walked into his life. It was getting hard to remember how she'd looked. He used to dream about her but there had been a dream where she said goodbye and she hadn't appeared since.

Megan had been so different from Selena. He'd wanted different things with her and he'd been a lot younger then. With Megan, Nick had looked forward to a life pretty much like other people had. A civilian life with a couple of kids, a house somewhere, a job doing something where nobody was shooting at him.

Then all that disappeared in a fireball of burning jet fuel and twisted metal. The image of her plane arcing into the ground as he watched was seared into his memory.

The hell with it, he thought.

Nick finished his whiskey and went to bed.