The Bitterest Pill

Six

Fifty-five, balding, and seemingly reticent, Harvey Spiegel had been Heather Mackey’s math teacher. Jesse thought Spiegel wouldn’t be as in tune with his students as Heather’s other instructors, maybe because he was older and a math teacher. But he was the one with the available free period, so Jesse found himself in the teachers’ lounge, which at that hour was pretty busy, with a few late arrivals grabbing coffee and hurrying out to their classrooms. Some, the ones who probably hadn’t yet heard about Heather, gave Jesse curious looks as they left. What’s that all about?

“What can I do for you, Chief?”

Jesse had a lot of people to talk to and didn’t want to go through the whole “Call me Jesse” routine with everyone. Besides enjoying the informality of first names, Jesse often used the “Call me Jesse” thing to throw people off balance. He had no reason to believe he needed to throw Harvey Spiegel a curve.

“Heather Mackey,” Jesse said, leaving it at that.

“Lovely girl.” Spiegel wrinkled his nose, reminding Jesse of a rabbit. “A shame.”

“You had her last term for” — Jesse referred to the papers Freda had given him — “calc and this term for trig.”

He did that thing with his nose again, then he leaned forward and spoke in a whisper. “I did. Chief, I heard that drugs were involved. Is that the case?”

Jesse nodded.

“It wasn’t... suicide, was it?” The word stuck in his throat.

Jesse answered with a question of his own. “You’re the second person to ask me that. Why would you say that?” There was nothing accusatory in Jesse’s tone.

“Do you have children, Chief?”

“A son,” he said, still unused to the sound of his voice uttering those words.

“Well, then you know. I’ve got two of my own and I’ve worked with teenagers for thirty years now. Some of them look like adults, but I assure you they are not. They lack experience and are often ill-equipped to modulate the strength of their emotions. They’re also feeling things like romantic love and jealousy as they have never felt before, and sometimes they just aren’t able to make sense of what it is they are going through. Sometimes they make stupid choices, very stupid choices, from which there is no return.”

Jesse must have looked dumbfounded, and Spiegel laughed a sad laugh at him.

“Surprised by a math teacher’s expounding on the emotional lives of teenagers?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m a guidance counselor as well. I imagine I’ll have more kids coming to see me today than usual. Unfortunately, it’s the ones that don’t come who probably need my help more than the ones who do. The ones who come have a self-awareness of their feelings. The ones who don’t come worry me. But I’m going on. Sorry, Chief.”

“But about Heather, Mr. Spiegel, was there anything specific about her that caused you to mention suicide?”

Spiegel rubbed his chin as he considered the question. “Nothing I could put my finger on, no. Her grades were steadily declining.” He shrugged. “But that’s not always a sign of anything negative, per se. Maybe she was in love or having trouble at home. Some of these kids are very bright and have been able to navigate their way through school without working at it. That’s less easily done when it comes to subjects like calculus or trigonometry. It wasn’t as if she was in danger of failing.”

“How about her attendance?”

“I’d have to check on that, Chief. Is it important?”

“At this stage, I don’t know what’s important or what isn’t. Let me ask you, Mr. Spiegel, are you aware of a drug problem in the school?”

Jesse could see Spiegel was troubled by the question and working hard to formulate an answer.

“There have always been some problems with drugs,” the math teacher said. “I’m afraid drugs have become another one of the minefields these kids must navigate, along with all the emotional baggage that comes with near-adulthood. It’s been this way since I taught my first year. The drugs change, but their presence has not.”

“That was a very good, politically correct non-answer,” Jesse said.

Spiegel did the nose thing again and laughed. “I was afraid you were going to ask me to supply the names of specific students. I would be uncomfortable with that. It would ruin any credibility I have with the kids if word got out.”

“But there are kids with drug problems.”

Although Jesse and he were the only two people left in the lounge, Spiegel looked around him to make sure no one was watching or within earshot. He didn’t answer the question with words but nodded yes.

Jesse didn’t stop there. “Heroin?”

Spiegel nodded again, hesitated, then added, “Pills, too.”

Jesse thought about pushing some more but decided he might need Spiegel as an ally if the investigation turned anything up. He didn’t want to alienate him by making him any more ill at ease than he already was. Instead he tried a different tack.

“Do you know who Heather hung out with?”

“Sorry, Chief. Heather was my student, but she wasn’t assigned to me as her guidance counselor. You’d have to speak to her homeroom teacher and some of the others about that.”

Jesse stood, shook Spiegel’s hand. “Thank you. You’ve been helpful.”

“Have I? I don’t see how.”

Jesse winked. “It’s only important for me to know how.”