The Book of Night Women

1

PEOPLE THINK BLOOD RED, BUT BLOOD Don’T GOT no colour. Not when blood wash the floor she lying on as she scream for that son of a bitch to come, the lone baby of 1785. Not when the baby wash in crimson and squealing like it just depart heaven to come to hell, another place of red. Not when the midwife know that the mother shed too much blood, and she who don’t reach fourteen birthday yet speak curse ’pon the chile and the papa, and then she drop down dead like old horse. Not when blood spurt from the skin, or spring from the axe, the cat-o’-nine, the whip, the cane and the blackjack and every day in slave life is a day that colour red. It soon come to pass when red no different from white or blue or black or nothing. Two black legs spread wide and a mother mouth screaming. A weak womb done kill one life to birth another. A black baby wiggling in blood on the floor with skin darker than midnight but the greenest eyes anybody ever done see. I goin’ call her Lilith. You can call her what they call her.

Two thing you should know if you want to know her. As soon as Lilith born the womens regard her with fear and trembling because of them green eyes that light up the room, but not like sunlight. Nobody did want the young’un and the overseer Jack Wilkins had to make special arrangement for a niggerwoman to take care of the child, for the mens and womens did content to just leave her in the bush and make the land take her back. Another thing. Girl like Lilith don’t born with green eye because God feel to be extra kind to nigger girl. This much was for sure, Lilith be the only girl to grow up in a hut calling a woman mother and a man father but she didn’t look like neither.

That woman. That girl. People recall when she was still a little pickney on the Montpelier Estate, them few years when a nigger not black, playing rounders with boys. She swing the club, clap the ball clear ’cross the field and make one run to all four base and beat the boys but couldn’t understand when the wet nurse slap her and say that a good girl was supposed to make manchild win. Lilith cuss and ask if manchild can’t win if girl don’t lose and she get another slap. Some take as sign when at seven Lilith tell them same boys that is ’cause they have worm between them legs why they can’t run fast like she and the girl get a swift kick from a passing niggerwoman who tell her that there be a grave already dug for the uppity. Lilith cuss under her tongue and say, Is you must go to grave since you already stink like dead puppy. Then there was the time when she get a well-deserved thumping for telling a white playmate from Coulibre Estate that she be a damn fool for saying that sky wet when everybody know it dry ’cept for when rain fall. White pickney and black pickney play all the time when they little, as if they be combolo, one and the same. But Lilith too spirited. Too spirited for a nigger girl black like pitch with legs too smooth for a slave and hair too woolly and lips too thick like fruit and eyes that seem robbed from white lady. A slave woman fate write before she born, but Lilith didn’t grow up regarding them things for she live with Circe, the only nigger at Montpelier Estate who didn’t work.

People say that Montpelier Estate was so huge that you could tell you’re there as soon as the wind start blowing to the east. In 1785, the year of many death but one birth, the overseer judge Circe too weak to do field labour. He give her a new hut that make from wood, not mud like what common nigger live in. He give her a man to live with in the Bible way. He also give her Lilith, which was just as well since plenty people knew that there was nothing Tantalus could do for a woman, much less breed niggerkin. Circe sleep in a bed while Tantalus and Lilith make do with the floor. Tantalus go near that bed only once and he have a scar below him left eye to show for it.

The hut door was to the north, the kitchen to the south, the red armchair that come from the overseer Jack Wilkins’ house to the east and the bed to the west. Circe shoulder thick and broad like man, her legs bow a little and her breasts strong and wide. But she short. All over her head, grey hair pop up like little flowers. A straw hat with a pink ribbon be on her head that she never take off, and when she go to sleep the hat cover her face. Circe didn’t take too kindly to mothering. Some say that this was on account of who Lilith papa be, but word loose like wind on Montpelier Estate.

By the time Lilith commence her fourteenth year, Circe grow tired of Tantalus the mad nigger. She come from church one Sunday afternoon and sit down in the armchair only to feel wetness soak through her dress. Piss, to be sure, for Tantalus didn’t got no cum. Circe go for her cast-iron pot and beat him out of the house. Since that time, nobody put clothes on that nigger and the overseer tie him to a breadfruit tree like an old dog. Lilith, after washing Circe good blue frock down by the river near the ratoon fields, come home to see Tantalus tie up under the tree and bawling and grunting and hissing and whinnying and grabbing him cocky in a indecent way and it make her feel like she was the most meanest thing in the world to have such a pappy.

Niggers already done make a song ’bout Tantalus the mad nigger. Lilith scared that soon the song was goin’ pick up a new verse ’bout her. Already she too tall and too loud and the other pickneys says she too big to play even though Lilith still feel like little girl. Lilith look around the dusty patch and it small now. You titty big like yam, a niggerboy tell her when they playing. And you balls little like cherry, she say to him. The little boy punch her and she jump ’pon him like wild dog and nobody could pull her off until they beat her hand to let go of him balls.

Commencing also be this — the white pickneys reach the age when they become white and nigger become black and they don’t play together no more. Lilith know one in particular, the girl from Coulibre who use to grab her hair and call her black sheep and always want to go on quest past the ratoon fields, which was forbidden. The same girl Lilith call donkey cause she laugh like a hee-haw. Plenty time Lilith say, Let we be the wickedest pirates! And the girl would say, Aye! and she lead the white girl astray to plunder the booty, cherry or plum or banana. They would tie cloth over one eye and be Henry Morgan and Black-beard. And they talk secret-like so the boys wouldn’t know. The white girl call her lank chicken and Lilith call her rank goat and they scream and laugh, and the girl take Lilith hand and neither think it uncanny. Then one day the girl come to the plantation dress up in bonnet like her mama and bawl out, Mama, pray tell why is that nigger addressing me? Lilith get a slap for that from a thin house niggerwoman who smell of mint and lemongrass. Lilith don’t go near the great house after that and the white girl stop coming to Montpelier altogether.

Lilith think she is still girl but even Circe tell her otherwise. This was an evening not long after she throw Tantalus out of the hut.

— Look ’pon you, Circe say as she lean back in her red armchair and fan ’way mosquito. — Worthless and good for nothing. Sake o’ you, man start hitch up round here like pee-pee cluck-cluck.

Outside cricket was chirping like they agree and inside the hotness wouldn’t leave the room.

— Word be that is you they come to, Mama.

— Wha’ you just say in me earshole? Word from who?

Lilith don’t answer.

— You soon start takin’ man, Circe say.

— Me not takin’ nothing but the word of God, Mama.

Two thing happen in Lilith fourteenth year. One day she was out in the yard romping when all of a sudden she feel wet, wet, wet. Blood slip from her like whisper and run down her leg. She scream and two boy laugh. Lilith run to the hut where Circe was dismissing a coloured gentleman who wasn’t from Montpelier Estate. As soon as she see Circe her mouth shut up and she couldn’t do nothing but mumble.

— Speak up! Damn girl, Circe say.

Lilith start cry. She couldn’t say her cho-cho be bleeding. Circe would think she done some nastiness for sure. Some nastiness with boy that Circe always saying that she born to do. Circe grab the girl.

— After nothing no do you. Why you trying me patience, pickney? Circe go to push her off but then see new blood running down Lilith leg. — Shithouse. You turn woman now, she say.

From then Lilith couldn’t go nowhere, nor talk to nobody, most of all boy.

— And don’t make me see you near any of them Johnny-jumper or I goin’ kill you for sure, Circe say.

Lilith look in the old silver tray that the great house throw away. Lilith look down the well and the dead part of the river. Lilith watching Lilith and trying to see which part of her turn woman. She watch her lips and bite down so that they look smaller. She look at her eyes and try to see them with nigger colour. She see her legs that too long, and hear her voice that cracky-cracky like old witch. Lilith did think that turning woman was going to make her smile but instead things was pushing out of her skin without permission. Things growing and won’t stop and pussy blood come and go when it feel like. Some woman did get possess by the Bosi, the spirit that take over people shape and have her do things that the Bible don’t like. The Bosi plump up a woman titty and arse and burn down her voice and tear her in two. Lilith grab herself. Lilith seeing how pickney is the only thing that not be a slave and start to wrap osnaburg cloth tight round her titty so they won’t grow. But her body turn enemy ’pon her. By evening the toughest cloth would ease into the shape of her breast like two clay pot. Not long after that one of the house womens say she should be breeding, just like her mama.

Lilith perplex, for she don’t know what breeding have to do with she. Lilith want to run and skip and jump and whinny like horse. She still want to do them things until she pass by the only nigger who was skipping and jumping and whinnying too. Tantalus the mad nigger. Lilith think that maybe the first thing a woman must learn to do is to stop smile.

One more thing happen in Lilith fourteenth year.

Circe tell the chile to stop call her mama. Lilith did flabbergast but then all of a sudden what Circe say make sense and that flabbergast her more. For Lilith remember the whispers from the womens who wash by the river. They talk ’bout how certain nigger lucky that she don’t work and how she never take to mothering but love the rutting, and about how certain woman barren and certain man nature cut. Lilith come to know the silence that happen when them same big people see that she was listening. Is not like Circe was one to hide anything though. Plenty time Lilith arriving when a man of colour leaving and one time she come home to see a mulatto from Kingston climb off Circe as her bow legs flap up in the air and she yell, Get out of the house you little bitch so big people can be private.

— What they mean when they say Tantalus nature cut? Lilith ask the same evening, as if sunset was going give her the answer.

— Who say that?

— Three womens. They was washing by the river.

— Three bitches they be. But that mad nigger business is everybody business.

— What be him business?

— Next time you pass that naked bastard take a good look for youself. You not too fool, so you must know what man supposed to have. Jack Wilkins slice it off himself long years ago. That mad son of a bitch used to play with himself and watch the old mistress when she take bath. Wilkins catch the nigger himself.

— No, Mama—

— Me warn you not to call me—

— No, Circe. Me don’t know them things.

— Eehi.

Circe resume to eating sweet potato and goat milk.

— So you not goin’ ask?

— Ask?

— You not goin’ inquire after her? Who you mama be?

— No.

— Humph. She was a stupid gal just like you.

— She dead?

— Of course she dead, girl like that born fi dead. You take after her, that is for sure. Couldn’t beat it out of you.

— And Tantalus not me papa?

— You better ask Tantalus. Couldn’t beat no decency into you, that for sure.

— Me goin’ be decent just like you, Mama.

— Circe.

— Me goin’ be like you. Me goin’ have plenty man come a-callin’ for tuppence.

Circe jump at her quick but Lilith dash through the door. — You better find someplace for you skinny backside, you hear me! Circe shout and slam the door. Lilith frighten and her heart beating but she also feel good. Wonderful good. One time Lilith try to clean the old armchair and Circe scream to not touch nothing and Lilith get frighten and run. Another time Lilith pick grape for Circe, and she eat a bunch, then throw ’way the rest and say, They spoil, you little wretch. Circe cook for herself and most time forget to cook for Lilith. She wait till the woman fall asleep to thief the last potato sticking in the pot. Lilith hear that white people get governess to hold they pickney and tell them story, but only Tantalus ever do that and he did mad one time, then get back sense and gone mad again. Lilith stomp her foot and sniff hard for her tears to behave.

— Time you go find man and come out of me house, Circe say.

Montpelier, like other estate on the east coast, have one white man for every thirty-three negro. White man couldn’t abide by they numbers alone, so they pick out a bunch of niggermens to put them in charge of other slaves. Johnny-jumpers they call them, five to ten in number and they work with whip and on some estate, knife and gun. When a field nigger not keeping up the quota of ground to plough or cane to cut they whip him in the back or punch him in the face or kick him in the balls and tell him work harder ’cause he not no prince regent here. The Johnny-jumpers raid the slave settlement at night like they be pirate, taking the supper that just cook, or if they hungering for a something else, grabbing the daughter or the mother even if her titty lanky and her pussy no good. They do as they please at night for Jack Wilkins the overseer didn’t care.

Is on a raid that a Johnny-jumper first set eye on Lilith. They shouting and gallivanting but stay wide of Circe hut as they run pass. People know to keep ’way from Circe ever since she tell a niggerman who thief her potato that the potato goin’ know what to do and the very next day a big chunk stick in him throat and choke him to death. But from far off the Johnny-jumpers see Circe house and her open fire and her little girl who was only getting bigger. This was the week before the field niggers was to start reaping the provision grounds while the sugarcane still grow.

— Soon and very soon you goin’ be taking man, Circe say as she look out the window as they pass, one of them sticking out he tongue at the hut.

— Taking man where? Lilith say, hearing they footsteps getting weaker and weaker.

— You go on playin’ fool to catch wise, Circe say.

But Lilith plenty scared of the Johnny-jumpers. Even as a little pickney she hear of what they do in the field and more than once when she was little they sack the playground and kick the little boys. Some nights, Lilith hear the screaming and crashing and cussing goin’ on in the slave settlement and wonder if one day they was goin’ get bold and come into Circe hut to slap her and squeeze her breast. One day, when she coming from washing by the river, a Johnny-jumper that she see before, who not even taller than her, shout from across the path that Europa pussy too loose after the young’un so he coming for her. Fear seize Lilith and she run back to the hut, where Circe was getting visit from the overseer Jack Wilkins himself.

Lilith stop. The man regard her but she couldn’t see him face since he didn’t take off him hat. He swallow some more lime and sugar-water and give Circe the glass. Him shirt open and him chest hair white and bushy. Him breeches cream and dirty and loose and he swing a little when he walk right past her, that old man swing. Lilith jump out of the way but the tobacco air reach her. That night Circe laughing when she recalling what he say.

— What a thing! Seem you free paper burn. And to think of all people, he be the one that burn it. You to report to the field tomorrow morning. Don’t make cock crow and you still in you bed.

Fear jump up and snatch the words out of Lilith mouth the whole night. Everybody know ’bout the life of a field nigger. Before sunrise she hear them — one, two, three hundred foot hitting the ground and rumbling like slow thunder. They used to wake her and scare her so much that she thought they was a militia marching to hell. The slave coffle. The field niggers. Before sunrise they in the field and by moonrise they still working. And when crop time, no nigger leave. Sun burn they black bodies blacker. Ants, mosquito, rat, snake and scorpion bite them in the bush. Womens screaming, No, massa, no whip me no more, and mens screaming as backra chop they two little toe off. She see the slaves when they come back in the evening, tired, crying, limping and bleeding and some that come back in a sack.

And she hear other things too. Of the time in 1785 when they burn a nigger girl alive right in the middle of the cane field and how every year, right before crop time, she scream. And when the overseer chop off another nigger head and stick it on a pole until it rot off. And when they send five slave to the treadmill where them niggers run themself to death. The word was that Jack Wilkins wield the whip and do as he please. He instruct him slave-drivers to do the same and since then a month don’t pass where they don’t kill a nigger and gone to Spanish Town to buy a fresh one. Montpelier have deep pockets and a new nigger always better than a lazy one, Jack Wilkins was known to say.

The field was where Jack Wilkins was sending her.

Lilith ’fraid of sleep ’cause tomorrow was goin’ come right after. She think that if she try her hardest to stay awake, then night would be force to stay and tomorrow would never come again. Lilith don’t care if that was little girl thinking and she supposed to be woman now. She hold on to the awakeness for a long time before sleep beat her. The next morning she sick.

Circe frown, tapping her foot. The girl lying flat on the mat.

— Me say what sick you?

— Me, me don’t know.

— You no know. Then how you know you sick? You belly hurtin’ you?

— Yes.

— And you head woozy-woozy?

— Yes.

— You feel fat like you goin’ burst?

— Yes.

— Then you either with child or you dead. Mayhaps you breeding. Me know you was taking man, you know, you at the time now.

— No! Is sick me sick. Me can’t feel nothing, and, and, me just weak. Weak bad.

Circe look at her hard.

— Well. Make me ask one fool-fool question. You think overseer care if you sick or you well? Answer me direct. You think he care a raas? Unless you sick until you deading, you still have to get you—

— Then me deading.

Circe not one for backtalk.

— That you goin’ be for sure once the overseer come here.

Circe step outside. The girl wait a while, then listen if she nearby. She move slow to the door. Circe gone. The fire still going, so she lean over it until her neck and chin well hot and some sweat start to rise out her skin. She raise her arm and let some of the heat work her armpit. But then she drop her left hand too low and near burn herself. Fire catch her skin hair and the room smell like burnin’ goat. She cuss and dip her hand in the bucket and rub it hard, trying to get the smell off. She hear people talking and run back to her mat. Then the abeng shell blow.

Circe come back. Right behind her was the thin woman who slap her once, the woman called Homer.

— See it deh she say she sick. Me no want no problem with slave-driver, you know, me no want no problem. You know how backra go on when nigger say she sick and is lazy she lazy. Me no—

— Quiet, Homer say.

Circe hiss and go outside.

Homer stoop down. The girl try to not look too ’fraid. Homer eyes thin and sharp and her cheekbone high. Her lip thin like white woman but dry and chappy. Homer have the longest neck she ever see and smell like mint one moment, lemongrass the next. None of the pickneys ever go near the big great house, not because they forbidden to play near the massa or mistress, but because they all scared of Homer. The girl feeling the same scaredness and shame and she angry that part of her still be little girl who easy to frighten. She want to be tough and hard like Circe or move slow and sure like nothing can bother her. Homer regarding her for long. The girl can’t hold her gazing so she look ’way. Then Homer touch her forehead and feel her neck. The girl hide her left hand but Homer still frown like she smell something foul. Homer touch Lilith neck again and mutter, then get up and go to the doorway.

— She have the marsh fever. Give her plenty cerasee, but don’t put no molasses in it, she say.

Circe make a big pot of cerasee tea and give Lilith to drink. Cerasee is the bitterest tea ever make and the girl cough and hack and cry but she didn’t dare spit. Circe regard her again, then say she going to town. She put on her green calico frock and shoes, one of the only negro anywhere with a pair and gone. As soon as she think Circe far away, Lilith go outside and blink at the high sun. She out there a good while, looking if she can see the negroes working from where she be. She step out further and see pickaxe and hoe swinging up in the sky, then down in the ground. Just then a cart come from round back and she jump out of the way. A niggerwoman was cursing and driving and whipping the horse hard.

Lilith go back inside to find a Johnny-jumper waiting for her.

— Word ’pon de field say you sick.

She couldn’t move. The man whip on the floor beside him cutlass. Every time the flame flicker the cutlass blink.

— Me come over, me meself fi give you de bettering.

— Me, me mother, she soon come back.

— You mama who me jus’ pass goin’ to town?

Lilith quiet. She think to run through the door but the thought of other Johnny-jumpers coming still her. She try to think like a woman.

— W. . what you want from little girl? she say.

— Who tell you say you little? Penelope have two young’un and she look younger than you. Anyway, since you make me come all the way over yah fi de cho-cho me nah run round no more.

The Johnny-jumper take off him shirt and pull down him pantaloons. She remember him now, the same boy who say the day before that he was coming for her. She try not to look at how he ready. Plenty man come to Circe hut with it already sticking through they breeches, but they keep them on when Circe tell her to get out. And though that madman Tantalus show him cocky all the time it swing low like lame dog. Lilith thinking ’bout her bush, and how nobody tell her that is man who must decide what happen to it.

— What you name? she say.

— Dem call me Paris. You know who Paris be?

She don’t answer.

— Big, big hero. Massa Jack say dat Paris stop the Trojan War.

— Circe say—

— Circe already get what she lookin’ for. Me no care ’bout she. Anyway, hear what. Pussy not doin’ me no favour all de way over deh, so get you black arse over yah.

She don’t know what to do. The Johnny-jumper on the floor with him hand waking up him cocky. She try to think that she is Circe who choose who she rut. She try to think she is Circe who don’t care when Lilith walk in on her and a free coloured from in town. If she just think ’bout that or anything else. The bat in the ackee tree, the pretty great house that just whitewash, mayhaps when she done think, he done rut. She make one step.

— Make haste, cow, he say.

He regarding her like he done fuck her already. He already grinning like man do when he leave Circe hut. The whip and cutlass on the floor. He was one of them man who didn’t even have to beat and thump and slap, him voice was enough. She feel the voice on top of her, grabbing her neck and scratching her breast. Better he jump at her like a wild beast than frighten her to come over and make her feel that she be the reason why he doin’ what he do. Better to get rip to pieces by the bush dog or wild boar in the hills than feel that she walk up to a man by herself and let him ravage her. By going to him, she rapin’ herself. The whip and cutlass on the floor. The girl move over to the man. He getting himself excited. Her heart punching a hole through her chest. The whip and the cutlass on the floor. She walk right up to him and as he hold him hand out to grab her, she dash past him and run to the fire. She grab the pot of cerasee tea and don’t care that it burnin’ her finger.

— Wha de — the man say but before him could even shift, she turn over the pot of tea on him face. The girl once hear pig scream with knife halfway ’cross it neck and she hear woman scream ’cause slave-driver take ’way her newborn young’un, but she never hear scream like that. The man bellow loud and shake the room. And didn’t stop. She scream too. He roll all over the ground and grab him face and scream more when skin and flesh coming off. The girl watching him face bubbling up and popping and the naked man spinning and bawling and jerking in the dirt. He screaming too loud. She cover her ear hard and shut her eye tight but she still hearing he scream and seeing him face. She screaming too, bawling for the noise to stop stop stop. Somebody was goin’ hear. Stop stop stop. And when they hear they would come. And then they would kill her because nobody that young must have so much wickedness. Stop stop stop. That was the first time she feel the darkness. True darkness and true womanness that make man scream. She shudder and she feel ’fraid and proud and wicked and she feel good. So good so that she get more ’fraid. The man jerking like he have fits and he still screaming. Stop stop stop stop. Somebody was goin’ hear.

Then the boy grab her foot and pull her down. The girl bawling and the boy bawling too. She turn ’way from him face. The pain too much for the boy and him fall over again and writhing and yelling. She go to run and he grab her foot again, him nails digging into her heel and she bawling like her heel just catch fire. The girl try to kick him off but him hand too strong, as if the screaming and the madness was making him stronger. Him bellowing now, like old dog or the darkest, evillest animal. The boy pull her ankle and the girl drop hard on her face. He pulling the girl towards him. She screaming. He pulling. She grab the cutlass.

Circe come right after dusk to see the floor ’wash in red. She follow the blood quick and stop at the naked Johnny-jumper foot. From foot up to thigh the black skin all chopped up with pink flesh peeking. From neck up be nothing but red. The blood didn’t stop there. The trail leave him body then turn left as if goin’ to the window. Under the window be the girl, crouching and hiding from the light. Her dress and her arms cover up in red. The cutlass at her foot, her eye wide open like dead owl and her breathing short and quick. Then she shoot a look at Circe and her two green eye make the big woman jump. Circe run out of the hut.

By nightfall she come back with Homer and two other womens. Homer walk right in but the other two womens stop when they see the body and look at the girl. Shit, one of the woman say. Lilith look straight at the three, her green eye flashing like wild animal.

— She is a mad raas, the other woman say.

Homer shush her. The woman frown. That woman short almost like a midget and her eye uncanny looking. She drive the carryall carriage that come to take the body. Homer walk over to the Johnny-jumper. Then she look at the girl. The womens, except Circe, wrap the body in black cloth. Homer shove the boy head in a sack. They put the body in the back of the carriage and the short woman ride off.

— Stupid bitch. The whole o’ we dead now, Circe say.

The girl start to cry.

— Save you bawling, pussyhole. Time soon come when you goin’ bawl till you bleed.

— Shut up, Circe, Homer say.

— You shut up, dry-up cow. Me look like you pickney?

Homer look at Circe and Circe hiss.

— Come chile, we have to make haste, Homer say to the girl. Homer hold out her hand. The girl don’t look Homer in the face.

— Too spirited. She too spirited, that damn girl, Circe say. He was just goin’ cut her down a notch. Get rid of that damn pride. She just a nigger girl.

Homer stop.

— What you just say?

— She too spirited. Think she be some nigger queen. She too spirited! She did need a man to fix her, damn girl.

The girl sob. Homer walk right over to Circe and slap her right cheek so hard that Circe stagger. Then she slap the left and Circe yell.

— You dead, you hear me? The two of you dead, Circe say. She bawling now. Homer grab Circe face by the cheek and squeeze hard.

— No nigger dead on this estate unless me say so, you hear me? And no nigger live either, Homer say and push Circe away.

Homer take the girl out of the hut. Circe still cussing. The girl can’t bear to look up in the sky or at Homer beside her so she stare at the ground as she walk. Even then she didn’t see the ground change from dirt to cut stone to wood floor until she feel the change under her foot. Homer open a door and they step into a dark kitchen that smell of ginger and pimento. Homer light a lamp in the dark. Orange light wash over the room but the girl still couldn’t make out anything other than a big counter in the center. Homer take her hand and lead her to another door.

Steps lead down to a cellar. The girl couldn’t see much more than the step in front of her, but smell something like that one stick of cinnamon that Circe have that she forbidden to touch. Homer lift up the candle and throw light all over the room.

— Over there, she say, pointing to a carpet on the floor.

— Over there you goin’ stay.

Homer go back up the stairs and each step she make leave the room darker and darker. When Homer reach the top of the stairs the room turn into pitch.

— Don’t come out until me tell you to, Homer say and shut the door.

2

JACK WILKINS STRUT SO FAR AND WIDE OVER MONTPELIER that some nigger forget that Montpelier done have a massa. But most never even seen Massa Patrick Wilson in the flesh. The law start and end with Jack Wilkins, that is what all nigger who born there or get stole from the Africa come to see. But as Wilkins start to get on in years him grip on the estate slip and plenty slave-driver and even Johnny-jumper start to do as they please. Montpelier was going to the dogs and every man with a whip or a gun mark out five hogshead for himself and every woman as he own wench. Johnny-jumper takin’ liberty too and one try to take Lilith. That error he wasn’t goin’ make twice.

Lilith wake up in a darkness that grip her throat. She try to scream, but the dark steal her voice. She trembling and the air smell old. Lilith can’t see her hand. This was not night darkness that show things once the eye get used to it. Lilith blink plenty time and swing out her hand thinking the air goin’ be thick like mud. She try to run, but trip over something and fall. The wood floor creak with old age. She fling around her hand like a madwoman and strike a shelf that let loose the smell of pimento. Lilith forget the pain in her knuckle and feel along the shelf, her hand touching bottle and bowl and sack until she come to the wall. She move along slow, her back to the wall until she reach a corner where the smell change to salt meat and the no-smell of flour and sugar. She move against the wall and trip again, over a sack. Lilith cuss and try to pretend that she not frighten. At first she think the scurrying was her mind gone aflutter in the dark. But then she hear scurrying again, on the floor and above. Rats. Lilith clutch herself ’cause she can’t see nothing. She run away from the sound and trip again. As she land on the floor, something jump on her back and jump off.

A light open up and flood the stairs and banister.

— Quit with you screaming, fool! she say. Lilith don’t know is who. The woman is only a shadow and not thin like Homer. She go to close the door and Lilith wish to scream out no, but then the woman leave the door ajar a little, enough for one thin blade of light to cut all the way down to the floor. That light show Lilith where she be, near the steps and surrounded by barrels, some upright and some flat. She set herself on a barrel and wait.

A long time, she reckon. Long enough that what she know happen, what she think happen and what she feel goin’ happen bend and stretch and break and mix back into each other so that she could no longer tell for sure which was which. The shadow on the floor dark and sharp but it then start to creep across the wood like blood. Lilith pull up her feet and squeeze herself in tight. In the dark she smell him, the field stink of the Johnny-jumper, the frowsy arm and raw crotch that bring back sweat and wood and blood. She hear him scream. She hear him skin crack and pop and think she goin’ vomit until she realise that something was frying upstairs in the kitchen.

The door open wide again and a figure come down, that she know for sure. The figure walk down the steps careful-like but with her back straight and her head high. She carrying a tray that she set down on a barrel next to Lilith.

— Don’t waste me food, Homer say. She turn to go back upstairs.

— Me. .

— Yes?

— Me. . Lilith say.

— Bucket in the corner. Piss and shit in that if you have to, Homer say and leave her.

Homer leave the door open a little wider and from there Lilith hear the kitchen come to life. Man voice and woman voice talking and laughing and cussing. And pot frying and hot water hissing and things chopping, and one smell after another floating down in the cellar to keep her company. White people food. Lilith think she was goin’ glut on just the smell alone, so much was coming. Then she smell the tray next to her and grab a johnnycake. She don’t swallow the first before she stuff another in. Her mouth can barely handle it, to chew down something that don’t taste like potato. She put something in her mouth that feel like meat but Lilith eat meat only once, so she not sure. This meat full of salt and have plenty little sharp bones that she have to spit out. Lilith rub her fingers in the oil and lick the bowl clean. Then she hear more laughing and more cussing and silence when Homer talk. Something about going into Kingston to get some herring and other fish to settle the Massa Patrick head.

— Like he got no head to settle, a woman say and everybody laugh again. Lilith did think the massa was Jack Wilkins and can’t remember seeing this other massa.

— Gorgon say only last week he open war ’pon de rose bush, a woman say. More laughing.

— Shithouse. First Tantalus, then the massa, and even Massa Jack not too righted in him old days. Damn estate cursed.

— You hush you mouth before mad backra hush it for good, another woman say.

— Nothing wrong with Massa Jack head, ’cept that is whiskey own it, a man say.

— And even that don’t tame him breeches none, a woman say.

More laughing again. Laughing was a strange sound to Lilith. Something that strike her as a house nigger thing ’cause no laughter happen in Circe hut. Lilith listen for the day to change. The noise of the kitchen as they make breakfast. The quiet when they gone to the dining room to serve the massa and mistress. The noise when they come back and the smell of lunch cooking. The quiet when they gone to serve and the mumbling, laughing and quiet cussing that come with them eating they own lunch upstairs. A man belch loud and a woman say thank merciful Jesus that is not you other hole, to which he fart loud. More laughing. Maybe house-slave life was everything Lilith think.

By Lilith own reckoning two day pass. She have only the talking and joking upstairs, the smell of breakfast, different from lunch and supper and the blade of light from the door that go from bright to weak to gone, to tell her how time pass. Sometimes she wish she could hear all of what they say so that she could laugh too. Lilith sit in the dark and think about how a real laugh would sound. She chuckle under her breath and cover her lips as if somebody was watching. Even with the little light she could feel the dark moving in close. And the rats. Most time Homer bring the food. Other time is one of the two other womens who help get rid of the Johnny-jumper body. Neither woman talk to her much other than to remind her to not go upstairs. Sometimes she hear whispering and wonder if is about her.

A morning come as laughter rise and bounce and then vanish all of a sudden. She hear big boots step hard through the quiet. Somebody get throw against a door. Move out of the way, sodomite, a voice say. A loud man voice that have the sound of the field. Not one house nigger saying nothing.

— Wheh de fookin’ gal deh?

— Hello? Is which wicked nigger curse they chile with a name like Fookingal? Homer say.

— Don’t cross youself wid me, woman. Me’d beat the piss out o’ you.

— Nobody beating nobody in this kitchen. Say you piece, then get out.

Lilith hearing Homer.

— Paris. Where him be? Four day gone and nobody no see him.

— Anybody here look like Paris keeper?

— Don’t smart you mouth wid me, dry-up pussyhole.

— Then make me stupid up me mouth, then. Johnny-jumper gone missing four day and you come to the great house for him whereabouts? You reckon he tired of the Johnny-jumpering and turn chambermaid?

— You think you mouth pretty, bitch? Me didn’t come to the great house just so, me go to Circe hut first.

— Now that even curiouser. And why you go to Circe hut, if you please? Circe no too old for the boy?

— Is not Circe, is — you go on. Circe tell me plenty thing.

— What Circe say?

— She say ask that bitch Homer.

— Oh. Me still want to know why when your boy gone missing you think to go to Circe, of all people. What is the meaning of that affair?

— If only you did as pretty as you talk.

— And if only you was as smart as you big. No boy name Paris in here.

— You can’t keep her forever, cow. Just watch when we get her. First we goin’ beat her face off. Then we goin’ fuck out her cunt. Then we goin’ kill her. Then we goin’ fuck her again. Or we just goin’ deal wid her the way massa and Maroon did deal with you. Me papa tell me ’bout you.

Homer don’t say nothing for a while.

— Devil take to talking to him young’uns nowadays? For me certain you ain’t got no pappy. Now get out before me tell the massa how you dare come in this house with you stink self. Get out!

A door slam. Lilith jump.

— Food can’t cook itself, Homer say.

Lilith soon lose track of night and day. She hear shadow whispers in what seem like daylight, but shouting in what feel like night. Sometimes she hear a voice, a tongue that roll like a white woman. She don’t know what be what when she hear them sounds coming down from the kitchen. The door did ajar, but just a little bit. Lilith expecting Homer mouth, with all the creaking her footsteps make, but the woman didn’t say nothing. Lilith see her through the door crack and gasp so hard that she sure Homer hear. But Homer keep on washing. Her dress was pull down from her shoulder and rest low on her hip. She washing herself by the drum of water and looking out the window. Homer back look like a washboard with big thick scars running across, from her neck and shoulder right down to the middle of her arse. Lilith think she seeing an animal. Homer carry herself so tall and proud that one would think she be the only unblemished nigger in Montpelier. Lilith can’t think of what a woman of Homer cunning could have do to make somebody whip her so bad. Homer wiping her shoulder with a rag. She lift up her shoulder and grab some leaves from off the counter and rub in her armpit. Mayhaps that be the mint and lemongrass people always smell on her. Then she turn round.

Lilith nearly stagger back and lose her balance. She figure Homer must hear her now for sure. Lilith look again and as stunned as when she look first. The scars continue from her back to her front, so much that she don’t have titty no more, just two stump that mark off in scar marks. Her belly have marks too but they be smaller. Mayhaps she was pregnant when they whip her. Lilith be thinking that she don’t ever want to be like Homer. She think of Homer and her own back itch. She wondering what kind of wickedness or uppityness Homer could have do to make them beat her so. So bad that she be the most obedient nigger ever since. Homer whiter than plenty white man, it seem. But nothing make a nigger more black than whip scars. Lilith don’t want none of it. She sad for Homer and she shame and she angry that this woman act like nothing above her. Lilith touch her breast and feel how they smooth. Homer washing. Then both woman hear another woman singing and the voice getting louder. Homer jump. She pull up her blouse but it stubborn. She pull and pull and cuss and look out and cuss again. Lilith think to help her but stay. The frock stubborn over her wet skin. The singing getting louder. Homer manage to pull up the frock halfway and Lilith see a look that she would never expect from Homer face. She wasn’t doing no hissing, she was sniffing and huffing like she frighten. She manage to slip in her sleeve and was pulling up the bosom when another woman, one of them who did help clean up the Johnny-jumper mess enter.

— Woman you too old to be playing with you titty.

— Older than even that, Pallas, older than even that, Homer say. — Tell that green-eyed gal to come upstairs.

Lilith step back. She try to step back quick but don’t want nobody to hear the step creak. But Pallas didn’t open the door, she only shout, Come upstairs, green-eyed gal.

— Lilith, this one name Pallas, Homer say when Lilith step into the kitchen. The other woman nod.

— What we goin’ do ’bout her? Pallas say. She tall as Homer but round, and not so far gone in age. Her hair plait in two at the side and run all they way past her breast. Her white apron hide her purple dress that look washed out.

— Devil if I know. Johnny-jumper out there and you know how them be. Them just starting they foolishness.

— Maybe we should turn her over and make God do the rest.

Lilith look up. Pallas’ eyes was waiting on her.

— No.

— What goin’ happen when Massa Jack hear?

— I don’t know.

— You supposed to know, Homer.

— I don’t know! Lilith, sit down and eat, Homer say. — She can work here.

— What you goin’ tell the others?

— Others? Since when me answer to no nigger round here? Me bring in new gal to do the work. That’s all any soul need to know.

— She not new. Everybody know you not sending down food to feed rat. Most reckon is she the jumper after. You goin’ have to tell him. He alone can sort this out. You have to tell him, Homer, Pallas say.

— He goin’ know soon enough, Homer say.

— But if he is the last to know, you goin’ be the one that feel it. Is not everybody ’fraid to touch you, Pallas say.

Lilith eating dasheen and pork. She look at the two womens talking and feel like is some other Lilith they speaking about. Neither talking to her. Circe used to do the same thing. Lilith wonder where the other slaves be. Mayhaps is Sunday, she think, and everybody gone to Sunday market.

— Anyway, things me have to say can wait till tonight, Pallas say and leave. Lilith and Homer in the kitchen, one eating and one drinking soup, neither saying nothing.

Most night as Lilith fall asleep, she fly up awake in fear that the Johnny-jumpers already in the cellar and ready to kill her. Is a week since and right in that instant between dreaming and waking she hear a whisper calling her the wickedest woman. A voice that trail off into the quiet. Paris didn’t beat her or try to kill her and he not even try to have him way with her, according to how the womens describe it. Maybe she could have run ’way. Maybe she be the one that evil. Something in the darkness smell new but known. Lilith looking for him in the dark, coming for her with no head on him shoulder. The door seem so far away at night. Lilith begin to wonder if field labour was so bad or if she did just make the Johnny-jumper do as he please then a new day would come after the old one and she would forget. Now she goin’ pay ’cause her life gone down a new trail and she can never get back to the old one. Lilith start to wonder if this new trail any worse than the old one. If a empty room better than a room with a woman who hate her, a man who mad.

The next afternoon, Homer give her a lamp and the task to swab the floor and sort out the shelves. They leave the door ajar and Lilith hear quick footsteps.

— Massa Jack coming! Massa Jack coming! The voice say. Lilith know the voice but couldn’t recollect the face.

— Gorgon, what you talking ’bout? Homer say.

— Me riding past de field and hear ’im shouting ’bout how two missin’.

— Damn. He did always have a sense ’bout them things. That backra could just look at a crowd of nigger and know one gone. Not even old age—

— Homer, he lef di field and go straight to Circe hut.

— Shithouse.

— Shit for true. Me no want dat man see me here, Gorgon say.

The first footstep didn’t stop the kitchen goings-on, but the second footstep stop everything cold. Lilith hear the footstep circle the kitchen one, two and three time.

— Homer, Homer, Homer, have you been losing step of late? Have you been slipping, you old cow?

— Me know me can still do a good day’s work, sah, Homer say.

— Bloody hell, ask Homer a question and God be damned, a Homer answer you shall receive. Are you getting forgetful in your old age, perhaps even a little mad, is what I ask.

— Not yet, sah, by the grace of God.

— Good for you. Because for some reason, unbeknownst to me, of course, everybody on this bloody estate seems to think I am.

— Oh no, massa—

— Oh, don’t oh-no-massa me. I knew you from when you still shat yourself. And so my newest Johnny-jumper and my newest field slave have both gone missing and yet not a soul has news on either. Uncanny, eh? Eloped, have they, Homer?

— No, sah. Me don’t know—

— Damn, Homer, don’t add tiresome to your list of flaws. Not now. You know of everything, I daresay even God gets his news from you. Are you saying you have no knowledge of their whereabouts?

— Me don’t have no knowledge of the boy, sir.

— And what of the girl? You know how I feel about being taken for a fool, Homer.

— She, she downstairs, sah.

Lilith jump. She hear strong footsteps stomp across the kitchen then stop. Then two hard slap and a yelp.

— Crossing me now, are you? Is that how you’ll have it? I give an order to send the girl to the field and you take it upon yourself to change it? Who for the sake of a fuck is the master here? Who?

— You, massa.

— Been far too long since you’ve met the cowskin, that’s what I think. Far too long.

— No, massa! Me never mean to cross you, massa!

Another slap.

— No, please, massa. Is the mistress! Is the mistress demand more things to be done and we did need another slave and me didn’t want to trouble you to go town to buy a new one so me just look at who be the newest and weakest, who if she leave won’t trouble the field much. That is all, massa, God truth. God truth.

— Really? And you know nothing of this Paris boy?

— No, please, massa.

— That’s not what I heard from Circe.

The room pause. Silent.

— Circe living with Tantalus a long time, massa, Homer say.

— Aye, indeed. Indeed. Maybe he did run away as the jumpers say. I shall send word to the constable today. Let him mount a search party and then we shall see what’s what. And to what use have you put the girl? I will see her now, Jack Wilkins say.

— Yes, Massa Jack.

The door swing open, wider than before and the whole cellar wash in dim daylight. Jack Wilkins march down the steps with Homer right behind him. Lilith think first to hide but then decide to stand still and take what coming to her.

— And what have you been doing here all in the dark?

— She make the place clean and pretty, massa. Clean and pretty can’t done. She—

— For fuck’s sake, Homer shut up. I’m sure God blessed her with a tongue.

Homer shut up and bow. Lilith don’t know who disturbing her more.

— Me working, massa, Lilith say and bow.

— You working. Working on what?

— Whatever need working in the cellar, massa.

— Whatever need working. Doesn’t seem like you’re very busy down here, Lilith.

— Oh, she plenty busy, massa. Is like she have three hand and—

Right then Massa Jack swing round and strike Homer hard in the face. She stagger back and fall against the step. — That’s enough out of you, he say. He turn back to Lilith.

— And tell me, Lilith, by chance have you heard of a boy called Paris? Tall boy, thin, your height almost, maybe a smidgen taller. A new Johnny-jumper.

— Me mama tell me to stay away from boy, massa.

— Clever. Clever. I’m surrounded by clever niggers.

Lilith look at the man. Tall with a slight hunch. Hair near white but eye green and bright. Massa Jack shirt open right to the waist, as be him custom. But he thin and muscular, mayhaps even strong, from all those years acting as the headman of Montpelier. Lilith can’t believe that this same man was driven to distraction sometimes as Homer say. He regard Lilith so long that she start to fidget.

— Can’t have any nigger thinking they’re too special, you know. That’s why you were sent to the field. But this is as good a place as any, I wager. You find the cellar agreeable?

— Is hard work, massa.

— Well, niggers aren’t here to have things easy, are they, he say and laugh. He turn around and go back upstairs, leaving Homer to rub her face. Homer sit on the step while Lilith rub her fingers. Lilith don’t dare look at her. Not long after Pallas run down and stop on the step above Homer.

— He run away? Why the Johnny-jumpers saying Paris run away when they know what happen? Homer? Homer, this don’t seem mighty peculiar to you? Why the Johnny-jumpers didn’t just say she kill him? Why they lie when we and them is not friend?

— You ever see what happen when puss catch bird, Pallas?

— Yes, but…

— When puss catch bird. Think ’bout that for a while, Homer say and go upstairs.

3

EVERY NEGRO WALK IN A CIRCLE. TAKE THAT AND MAKE OF it what you will. A circle like the sun, a circle like the moon, a circle like bad tidings that seem gone but always, always come back. Woman work round the sun and sleep round the moon and sometimes work round both, especially if it be crop time. Other times woman wait on the moon, especially if it fat with blood and rise low over the Blue Mountain. That be the season of the Sasa, the Asaase Yaa or the Ogun and the other forgotten gods.

Truth be told, slaves in Jamaica have more ranking among themself than massa. In this place two thing matter more than most, how dark a nigger you be and where the white man choose to put you. One have all to do with the other. From highest to lowest, this be how things go. The number one prime nigger who would never get sell is the head of the house slaves. That position so hoity-toity that in some house is a white woman who be that nigger. The head house nigger get charge with so much that she downright run the house, and everybody including the massa do what she say. Homer careful not to cross the line, though. Position can make a negro girl forget herself and there is always the cowhide, the cat-o’-nine and the buckshot to remind her of her place. After she, there be the house slaves who work the rooms and the grounds and the gardens. Sometimes is the prime pretty niggers or the mulatto, quadroon or mustee that work there. Then you have the cooks who the backra trust the most, because the cook know that if the mistress get sick after a meal there goin’ be a whipping or a hanging before the cock even crow. Other house slaves be cleaning and dusting and shining and manservanting and womanservanting and taking care of backra pickneys.

After the house slaves come the artisan niggermens, like the blacksmith, the bricklayer, the tanner, the silversmith, niggers who skilled with they hands, followed by the stable boys, coachmen and carters. Next is the field niggers, headed by the Johnny-jumpers who be the right hand and left hand of the slave-drivers. They do most of the whipping and kicking but when the estate running right they have nothing to do, so they whip and kick harder. After Johnny-jumper come the Great Slave Gang, the most expensive slaves, the one who they buy for the long years of hard work. The mens and the womens strapping and handsome like a prime horse. Most be Ashanti, what the white man call Coromantee, but they not easy to control so they get punish plenty for they spiritedness. But a dead Coromantee man can set an estate back up to three hundred pounds so they careful not to kill too much. After that is the Petit Gang, the makeup of plain common nigger. Some cost less than one hundred pounds and they work the other fields, like the ratoon or the tobacco that some planters grown on the side. Other nigger look down ’pon them mens as worthless and them womens as good for rutting, not breeding. On some estate even the pickneys work, mostly in the trash gang to pick up rubbish on the estate or to carry water for the field slaves to drink, or to get firewood. That be the negroes.

Now while the overseer Jack Wilkins plough through so much nigger bush that some start to wonder what exactly the estate sowing, the old massa Patrick Wilson forgo woman flesh from the day he come back from the war, when less than a fortnight after, house nigger make two breakfast tray for two different room. All people know is that in 1779, a year after he marry and come to Jamaica, old massa was still young and he get all caught up in rule Britannia! Because it seem the whole world was trying to take what England got. The day he hear that even Spain join France to help the rebellious thirteen colonies fight war ’gainst England he get into quite the conniption, as the mistress say, and declare that a gentleman must answer the clarion call to serve king and country. So he leave him wife at the estate that he just inherit and set out for glory all the way in Gibraltar. By the end of 1779, the mistress belly did big with a coming young’un. Massa Patrick Edward St. Michael Wilson go all the way ’cross the sea to fight war when Jamaica itself did needed defending when the French try to take the colony in early 1782 and the negroes try to rebel in St. Mary, not far from Montpelier Estate.

The massa didn’t return until June 1782 and all Jamaica was celebrating but he. Some of him planter friend joke that Massa Wilson go all the way to Gibraltar to fight the enemy when the enemy was tiptoeing to him own doorstep. But as the massa step through him own door and look around like he never see the estate before, people know that not all of him come back. Something happen, something that show in him limping, that trade part of him for a part of the war and that is the part he bring back to Montpelier. In 1782 he still young but him hair gallop down in age quick and was near full white. Massa Patrick was a tall man, but him body slump and turn him into question sign. There be no scar in him face but the few who see, say he have a long scar that go from him shoulder all the way to him navel and another one that run all the way down the back of him left thigh. Him eye circle with dark even in the day for the enemy shoot the daylights out of him. More night than less, Homer need two strong negro to catch the massa when he have night terrors and run naked right through the front door and down by the bird bath and screaming and bayoneting with him finger at the Frenchies and the Iberians and whoever running him down with four feather. Not even Homer tea could fix whatever wrong with the massa. The mistress have to make do with her own quarters after one night when the massa wake up, find him sword and start chop up the whole room to pieces, telling the chair, A cowpox on you, you goddamned Gallic bastard! The mistress get very melancholy and have nobody to tell her story to. From that time on nobody could speak anything ’bout the French or the Spanish in her house. For Montpelier become her house. The mistress take over with the estate running and the head butting with Jack Wilkins ’cause the massa did all but useless. As soon as the young son Massa Humphrey could read Mother Goose, the mistress ship him off to school in England.

Three year shy of a score, the night come when Massa Wilson put on him military fatigue and mount him white horse and charge down the cane piece. But the horse see the big cotton tree ahead even though the massa was charging same way and whipping for speed. Before he ram into the tree, the horse halt and fling the massa off. The old massa land headfirst in a branch and him neck snap like a twig. The branch hold him there while he swing like a nigger. The young son Massa Humphrey who was getting learning in England receive order to come back to the plantation directly to take up him station in life. When Humphrey Wilson reach Jamaica, the year was 1800 and he be twenty-one years of age.

The Montpelier Estate be the biggest in east Jamaica so niggers was expecting a big gathering of white people to pay them respects, but plenty didn’t come. So things go on a Tuesday afternoon that a swarm of slave and the backra gather at the family plot on a hill with no tree about a mile from the great house and watch as the fat preacherman talk. He say some word and the mistress, who standing regal in black dress and black veil, start to cry and shout until she keening. The overseer Jack Wilkins nod to a white slave-driver and the man take the mistress hand and hold her up. Homer in a black dress and veil that look near exact like the mistress except her dress wash out till it grey. Homer take Lilith with her even though she didn’t have no dress except the white one she always wear and her feet bare. Lilith stay close and look around for Johnny-jumpers. She didn’t see any, but she see Circe, scowling in a newer dress than Homer.

Some negroes wonder how come a man of the old massa’s standing and breeding and moneying have a funeral so empty of backra. They come to understand that this was nobody fault but the mistress, who didn’t want nobody see her making a spectacle of herself. Others mumble more than once that they can’t remember what the massa look like. When nigger think of the law on the estate they think of Jack Wilkins.

Jack Wilkins use the old massa death to push himself into the great house. The lanky man act like he be the massa from before the old massa come back from war, but now he and him wife start to invite themself to the table for supper like they be massa and mistress, even though the real mistress didn’t eat in the dining room no more. Soon the two have breakfast and supper sent to they quarters and they didn’t once ask if the mistress get fed.

Now, the time from when the old massa Wilson die till the young massa Humphrey come back to Jamaica was no quick thing. It be 1800 and they say the fastest ships, as soon as they done fight the Spanish and the French in West Indies, had to set sail to the Gold Coast to get more negro. So be that as it was, near four month pass between the old massa death and the new massa arrival.

The mistress prepare for her son arrival so often and get disappoint that she soon stop. She didn’t take to the old massa death well at all. Many time she be found talking to him like he still there, about him giving her problems and forcing her to ask questions that nobody can answer. Sometimes she walk up and down the house and talk ’bout snow which cold, cold, cold and colder than that. Or she would talk ’bout Bond Street and Regent Street and spring and summer and the season that is neither spring nor summer but the time when gentlemens and ladies go courting. The mistress bawl out, Why oh why did she forsake Mayfair for this penal colony, and what sort of gentleman takes his wife and moves her to a place with no foxes! She and the other wives was never friend. She cuss that they talk like negro folk and have poor breeding and smell bad. House niggers in the kitchen laugh ’cause they used to think only negro woman could smell bad.

Friday, February 7, 1800, at around the one o’clock hour a big black carriage with two door on each side, four big wheel and four black horse come to a halt at the great house step. Two house negro was outside and the four black horse frighten them something dreadful. Nobody ever see carriage like this before and even a few slave-driver and slave come up to look. A negro with a white wig and red blouson and white breeches sit up front with a long whip in hand. The road from Montpelier gate to the great house was over eight mile long and the house was on a hill, so Jack Wilkins had time to see the carriage coming. But he didn’t see no call to act all proper-like, so he sit there on the terrace getting drunk from lime and sugar-water and rum. By now more slave gather, including house slave who hear the commotion. Homer, coming from the great house, pass the kitchen and see Lilith watching from the window. Homer don’t say nothing but stare at Lilith long and hard. Lilith stay by the window and watch.

A slave-driver go up to the terrace and ask Jack Wilkins ’bout the carriage but he just nod and take another draw of the pipe. Another nigger with a white wig on jump down from the back of the carriage and open the door. The first to step out was a man. Him skin dark like a quadroon but him hair black and straight and so long that it flow right down him shoulder. He look ’bout five foot nine or ten and build strong, even though him belly was sticking out a little. Nobody know who this man be. He wearing white breeches and brown boots and him blue jacket have tails and tassels on the shoulder like an infantryman. A thick cravat wrap round him neck and he don’t waste no time to pull it off. He sigh like a thirsty man who get a drink of water, which he then ask for. Homer send one of the women back for a pitcher. As he step down and look around, Homer start to approach but then right behind him another man step out.

At first the man seem like him head on fire. But that be him hair, light and red and with curls flying all over in the breeze. The fire hair burn all over the top of him head that have a little bald spot and run down him sideburn and stop, leaving him chin and face clean-shaven.

This man tall like a tree. He have to bow him head low just to get out of the carriage. People so used to lazy colonial dress that the moment this man step out everybody know that he be foreigner traveling from far. The man in a long grey coat that look like wool, a white shirt and cravat, black breeches that hem below the knee and shiny black boots. The man was sweating so bad that he near melt. He wipe him face and neck with a kerchief. Then he look all over the estate and scowl. He turn to the other man who was wrapping up the cravat in him hand and the man smile. The tall man frown even more. Homer push past both slave-driver and negro until she right before him. Then she bow two time and curtsy.

— Nobody send word that you be coming today, nobody at all, Massa Humphrey, she say.

— I had grown rather fond of surprises, but it seems that the surprise is on me. And how are you. . Homer? You haven’t aged a day.

— As good as the lord allow, massa.

— Then God help you then, he say.

When Jack Wilkins see the man who dress most uncommon coming up the steps he jump up and nearly topple the pitcher and glass beside him. The slave-driver beside him jump up too.

— Good heavens! Master Humphrey! Good lord. This is a surprise. But a wonderful. . yes. . surprise. . Lookit you, young master.

— I’m hardly young, sir, whoever you are.

— Of course. ’Tis Jack Wilkins, my boy. I daresay you used to call me Uncle Jack when you were a wee lad. But you’re quite the gentleman now, anybody can see that.

— Can they, sir, can they indeed?

— Milord?

— Nobody seems to have seen a gentleman among you but Homer. I had sent word on Monday that we had docked in Kingston. Four days ago! Good heavens, man, I’ve had to charter that carriage myself.

— My apologies, good, good sir. Things have been a wee bit busy, lordship, what with crop time.

— Don’t take me for a fool, Wilkins. Crop time is not for another eight months.

The slave-driver grin but then Massa Humphrey scowl and he shut up real quick. Wilkins watch him step in the house and then regard the black-hair man following him.

— This gentleman, by the way, is Robert Quinn, Massa Humphrey say. — He’ll be replacing you.

— Don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure, gentlemen, Robert Quinn say as he step inside.

Homer watch Jack Wilkins cuss two word and stagger off to him house, to tell the wife. She run back to the kitchen as Robert Quinn and Massa Humphrey inspect the house. He don’t like much, not the paintings, furniture or drapery and the heat reach right into him England coat and make him outright cuss.

— Goddamn if I haven’t been banished to a penal colony, the massa say.

But Massa Humphrey heart break when he see he mother. She frail like ghost and mistake Massa Humphrey for he dead father three time before she see is her son. When she see is Massa Humphrey, the mistress fall in him arms and him eye open wide when he see how light she be, like feather and how she look skinny down to the bone. He step back and near push her ’way since the whole room did smell mouldy and sour and the smell was coming from her. Massa Humphrey face red and he huff and puff and race into the kitchen and slap Homer straight ’cross she face and push her chest in so hard that Homer stagger back on the stove and burn she hand. You bastards trying to starve my good mother to death? he say, him face red and him eye dark and he huffing and puffing. Homer take it on herself to be brave and say she try to feed the mistress every day with the food she always like, but she won’t take no food, only a little biscuit and tea and so Jack Wilkins say to stop feeding her.

Massa Humphrey storm round the back and soon we hear words that the Bible don’t like. Then we hear a crash and the overseer wife Missus Wilkins beg for her poor invalid husband. Massa Humphrey come back in huffing and puffing and go toward Homer, who jump, but then decide to stay still and take whatever he give. He go right up to Homer face and him blue eye lock with her brown eye and he say, Feed her. He walk away ’bout ten pace and stop, turn round to Homer and say, Please.

4

SOMEWHERE ’CROSS THE SEA BUT STILL IN THE WEST INDIES, in a land called Saint-Domingue, the negroes revolt. They take over the whole territory and kill the governor and burn down the main city. That was 1791. Now in 1800 a niggerman name L’Ouverture set to control the whole island. The British try to take the island for themself but this black republic drive them, the Spanish and the French, back! There be not a single white man in Jamaica who wasn’t fretting, ’cause Jamaica negro numbers here be huge indeed.

Sake of Saint-Domingue, more redcoats come to the country. Every now and then a bunch march past the estate fence, moving stiff like rigor mortis soon set in, burnin’ like meat and acting like they don’t notice. The white people seem to feel safer every time they see one, with they red coats bright like fresh blood. They wearing black hat that point out in the front and wide at the side, and have long hair that mix with flour and fat and tie back tight. Them neck get lost in a stiff collar and them hair blooming out from the side of the temples. They all sweat like pig and smell something horrid. One entire regiment get put twenty mile from Montpelier.

The Montpelier Great House build long before Britain seize Jamaica from them Spanish people in 1655. A Jew tobacco farmer was the first British owner. The Wilsons buy the property in 1721 and king sugar take over. Though many years pass since the Wilson ownership, Massa Humphrey be only the second of him kin to live here. Massa Humphrey talk ’bout how plenty friend think him take leave of him senses, but he be a gentleman after all and must make him own road in life. Massa Humphrey tell this story to the negroes who gather to receive him the next day but he don’t look at nobody, as if he don’t expect nigger to understand. Robert Quinn, who we come to know was an Irishman, take over as overseer, and live in the great house. Sake of Jack Wilkins getting on in years Massa Humphrey make he stay.

Montpelier Great House have a ground floor that make out of cut stone and two more on top that make out of wood and plaster. The first thing Massa Humphrey and Robert Quinn do was pull down all the blue and purple curtains and ask for white or yellow or no curtain at all. Sunlight run through the house along with the sound of big boys singing shanty that scandalous even to common folk. Massa Humphrey room as big as three bedroom put together and only he sleep in there. Sometimes when Homer come to wake him, he sprawl out on the floor and still asleep. Robert Quinn no better. The two sport together like arse and seat, always making joke, playing prank or going off, once Quinn tell the massa of it, to Spanish Town where the women prettier and safer than Kingston women. Sometimes they take the hussy back to Montpelier and the whole household can hear the goings-on. Especially from Robert Quinn room. Between the two it was enough to make a nigger wonder if white man didn’t know they born with cocky until they come to the colony.

Now Massa Humphrey different from him father who lose himself in war, or him mother who have to make do. Massa Humphrey learn to love Montpelier and that was no easy thing. For it take some time to get season by this weather. And some of the white people too hoity-toity, thinking that they can beat the West Indian sun and still wear wool when they feel like. But sooner or later this place burn the England out of an England man. Some people, like the redcoat soldiers, fight and fight and not even see that they lose from the day they dock in Montego Bay. That is England a man scratching out when him balls itch, that is England he spitting out whenever tobacco juice leave him mouth. Plenty week pass before Massa Humphrey even talk to anybody besides Robert Quinn, who then talk to everybody else. The slave-drivers didn’t like that at all. Sooner take Jesus for a sodomite than take me orders from a potato eater, one of the slave-driver say as he and a few put distance between themself and Montpelier.

But two and a half months of Homer cooking lead Massa Humphrey to start ask what feast she preparing tomorrow. Massa Humphrey don’t have to cross him leg when he sit out on the terrace. He light him pipe at any hour. The man break wind whenever he ready, scratch whichever part he choose and love how the heat always give him excuse to take off him clothes. Negro girls learn to blush like white woman and turn away, but truth be telling he never did too hard to look at. Him wild and curly hair get wilder and curlier. He taller than him father and him shoulders strapping and jaw strong. This massa eye did hide all sorts of mischief in sea blue and as said before, when he drop he breeches the sight never did too hard to look at.

The colony can change a man if he willing and there be things he can do here that he can’t do nowhere else. Regard this, coming to a land where a man can seduce, rape or sodomise any niggerwoman or boy or girl he wish and there be nothing that nobody goin’ do, for every other white man be doing the same. Picture the one place in the world where God don’t judge the quick and the dead and they free to do as they please. Some white man jaw drop with outrage but sooner or later a black apple pass by and they can’t resist. Negro get to understand that white man body in bondage in the mother country and when they come to the West Indies, the cocky be the first thing they set free. Negro take heed of the case of William Clarke, who rape and strangle five negro girl but nobody arrest until he kill Worthy Park Estate most expensive slave and get lock up for destroying property, not murder. But that don’t stop the white man. As for the white woman, she can only turn her eye and sip tea.

— I haven’t borne witness to so much sin since Venice, Massa Humphrey say to Robert Quinn one morning at the dining-room table when only he and Quinn taking breakfast and Homer serving tea.

— And you were raised in this Gomorrah, Robby?

— Aye. As ye were, stop with yer lying now.

— Robert, I left the colony at age eight, you left at what, seventeen? So I beg to differ. And what sort of mischief does a randy lad of seventeen get into?

Robert Quinn laugh, but see Homer looking at him and quiet down. As she leave the room, both man burst into a loud dirty laugh.

— I swear, the old hag thinks she runs this estate, Massa Humphrey say.

— She probably does, I’ll wager.

— You’d wager your poor mum’s arse if you could. I tell you this, though. Even back when I was a young pup, she was already old.

Soon June heat was ’pon Montpelier and Massa Humphrey mother ask ’bout the season and if he not going back to England to commence courting for a wife. He say no lady of good breeding would want a rogue like him, who been living far from the motherland nigh on half a year. Him mother make he swear to not even think about marrying a Creole woman. I’d see you with a Jewess first, she say.

Massa Humphrey soon displeased with how the negrowomens skinny. He don’t want nobody to think that Montpelier can’t afford to feed they slaves so he give instructions to fatten them up. That be the first time plenty negro ever taste meat. Robert Quinn say to him that everybody seem to think that it was nothing for Montpelier to replace a dead slave with a fresh one so nobody bothered much with keeping slaves healthy. Quinn take out two book and show Massa Humphrey how much money waste because Wilkins and the slave-drivers was just plain wicked to nigger. So Massa Humphrey order new kind of food to fatten the niggers up.

A few months after Homer put her there Lilith forget how she get to the great house and say, I be different from them nigger bitches. Me smarter and prettier and me tired of the damn cellar.

— What a mouth ’pon you, you think it goin’ save you from the Johnny-jumpers? Homer say.

After that Lilith shut her mouth and she still. She stop puff her chest out and turn her eye away. Lilith quiet herself and don’t give no trouble when Homer tell her to sort out the cellar and not come up unless told to. Homer remind her that thanks to her no negro safe when they leave the house for the Johnny-jumper taking set on anybody. Lilith know the other niggers don’t like her. They know she have something to do with the missing Paris and that the Johnny-jumpers lay waiting any of them. War broke out between Johnny-jumper and house slave unawares to everybody but them. Whenever a house slave have to go further than the flower house, they always travel in two or three and one of the three was either Homer or Pallas. The Johnny-jumper when they see them would raise alarm but they wasn’t goin’ cross Homer or Pallas, since rumour be that Pallas was allow to carry musket and Homer was capable of any mischief. Johnny-jumper wasn’t safe neither. One day a young one not much older than Paris grab Homer by the hair when she walk past. She point two finger at him eye and by nightfall he got the consumption. Robert Quinn find him so useless that he put him in the boiling house. The Johnny-jumpers wasn’t going stop until Homer hand Lilith over and Homer was not one for people telling her what to do. Lilith suspect that this was not because of her but because of who Homer be. But she know the other house slaves hate her. They have to. For she was thinking that if she wasn’t Lilith she would hate Lilith too.

Lilith was not allow in the other part of the great house so is a long time pass before she even see the mistress. Lilith come upstairs only when Homer need one more hand in the kitchen and had to go back down before supper. Nobody talk to Lilith. She didn’t mind much since nobody used to talk to her when she live at Circe either. But sometimes when it get pitch dark the cellar wall start to close in on her and the kitchen wall and all other wall, but then she would look outside and think of seven man in the dark hunting her like wild pig and then raping her seven time and shooting her seven time and leaving her to rot. She scared till she sick and stay awake all night and only fall asleep at dawn. But with dawn Lilith come up from the cellar, her head held high like she studying Homer.

— Pussy-eye gal git you arse back down for de flour, a woman say.

— You foot sick? Go get it youself, Lilith say. The woman hiss. This woman they call Andromeda and she huff and puff and snort like bull. She always smell of the stinkin’ toe fruit and nobody like her.

— No baba, down deh too dawk. Need you pussy eye to light de way.

— Not when you block the light with you stinkin’ black arse.

Even woman who never care much for Lilith throw down they knife to burst out laughing. Pallas lose her spoon in the pot of soup and clutch her sides. Even Homer turn away and cover her mouth. The two mens whoop and holler and rub they backside to see if it big like Andromeda. Andromeda mood get dark. Her arse broad like two woman but she move fast and slap Lilith so hard that she nearly fall back down the cellar steps. Homer shout to Andromeda to step away from the girl. The house niggers still laughing. Andromeda turn to go back to her counter when the girl snarl and leap on to the woman like wild puss. She grab Andromeda hair and pull out clump after clump after clump. Andromeda scream and try to shake her off but the girl hold on, scratching her face and clawing into her nose and biting into her shoulder until her teeth come away with blood. They falling to the ground and the girl push Andromeda hard enough that she land face first and break a tooth. Andromeda screaming and trying to rock the girl off but the girl clutch on tight and claw Andromeda face. Two mens it take to pull her off and then only by clubbing her in the back of the head with a rolling pin. The girl roll off the woman, look at the two mens with her green eye and pass out.

5

WHITE MAN IS WHITE MAN IS WHITE MAN, BUT NOT EVERY nigger be the same nigger. And if she just come from the ship, more so be the difference. If the negro is a Igbo or she born to a Igbo, sooner or later she goin’ kill herself. If she come from or born to an Angolan, then she goin’ be lazy till her dying day. If she come from or born to a Popo or Ibibio, then she goin’ work hard and laugh and merry and thank God for the massa. If she be Akan, her hand working as hard as her mind plotting. But lord help you if you get an Ashanti, what the white people call Coromantee. Not even massa whip can tame she. Coromantee blood that never know slavery mix with white blood that always know freedom and race through Lilith body like brush fire. Her titty turn into young pumpkin, her hip start get broad, her leg thick and tight and she look ready to drop plenty niggerkin. She turn fifteen, unbeknownst to her, but known to Homer and a few others.

One day later the most hellish noise wake Lilith up. One of the house slaves, an old niggerwoman who couldn’t do much sake of her lumbago, start screaming and pointing at Lilith, only her voice did old and almost gone so the scream sound like a dying man breath. Lilith jump when she see the old woman and clutch herself, looking all over her person for blood or something worse. Beside her mat was a bunch of twig wrap tight and bind with straw. Lilith go to touch it but the woman scream again and flee. Not long after that, Homer come, with the woman hiding behind her frock tail.

— Sasabonsam, she whisper. — Sasabonsam!

— Shush you mouth, worthless nigger. And carry up the flour me send you down here for.

— Sasabonsam!

— Shush you mouth before me give you something to talk ’bout!

Homer look at Lilith and at the bundle like it be something accursed that just come out of her. She circle it quiet-like, like a puss, and Lilith get to thinking that the bundle was goin’ run or strike. She frighten. She whisper Homer name so weak that it vanish in the air. Like plenty colony-born nigger, Lilith didn’t know ’bout the Sasabonsam, but Homer know.

Sasabonsam come straight from the Africa, not in chains but by it own free will, and make him home wherever there be the most misery. Sasabonsam live in the cotton tree and give any man him time if he have a guinea. People go to this spirit at night and tie twig together in a bundle or fish a smooth stone out of the river for the Sasabonsam to enter it with all him malcontent. The shuman, they call it. A shuman at your bed mean somebody setting evil on you, mayhaps death. Sasabonsam be the wickedest Obeah, worse than poison. Only one thing can fight it and nothing that the white man brew.

— Sasabonsam take her spirit!

— Quiet you damn mouth, old woman.

— Homer? Lilith whimper.

— Silence! The two of you. And you, woman, don’t make me talk to you again. Homer take off her apron and circle the bundle. Then she throw the apron on the bundle and grab it up like is an animal that going claw it way out.

— Homer? Homer?

— The Sasabonsam ’pon you, me chile. ’Pon you it surely be.

There be a girl name Clytemnestra who the master-at-arms, a slave-driver, fuck as be him regular custom. Homer send her to the man lodging to rob a spoonful of gunpowder. Then Homer send Gorgon up to the hill with no tree and she come back with a cup of dirt from Massa Patrick Wilson grave. Homer mix the two in a glass and fill the glass with rum. All this she do in front of Lilith, her back to the girl. When she turn round, Homer holding a knife. Homer hold out for Lilith hand but the girl flinch. She step back but Homer grab her. Come chile, me don’t have no time to waste, she say. Lilith struggling but Homer grab her left thumb and squeeze.

— No Homer, no.

— Better this than to be dead by Tuesday.

Lilith try to push this out of her head as soon as she hear it. She used to think that she be a young’un from the colonies who born near white people with good breeding and not no stinking Africa woman who only know the bush. But even white people whisper when they say Obeah. The blackest black magic for which there be only one cure. For if Obeah be the black, Myal be the white even though the two still black. Lilith try to pull ’way her hand and Homer slap her.

— Behave! she say.

Her hand stay on Lilith face and Lilith think to ask her right there if she be a Myal woman. Homer prick Lilith thumb and she wince. Homer stick Lilith thumb in the glass until the potion start to turn red. She pull open Lilith dress and her two titty plop out. Lilith quick to cover herself but Homer slap away the hands and mark an X on her chest with the potion. Homer turn her around and Lilith jump when the cold potion drip down her back. Homer hand Lilith the glass.

— Make haste, chile, if you ever want to get it back.

— You want me to drink this? To get back what, Homer? Get back wh. ., Lilith couldn’t finish, didn’t want to know.

— You soul, girl pickney.

Nothing more could be done until late night. Homer bring Gorgon and Callisto down to the cellar. Gorgon scowl when she see Lilith and hiss when Homer hand her the bundle.

— Bury it by the cotton tree four miles yonder. Turn east once you pass the ratoon fields, Homer say. Gorgon and Callisto turn to go.

That same night a niggerwoman go to sleep and didn’t wake up. Her entire lifeblood bleed out of her pussyhole, arsehole, earhole and nosehole. They didn’t find out who till four day later, when the stink lead Massa Humphrey hounds to her door. Lilith did think the woman would be one of them house slave who don’t mean her no good, but she fall down on her mat and wail when the news reach her. Homer go to shush her.

— Hush up now, me chile. Don’t make backra find reason to make you cry more.

— But she was me mama. She raise me like me mama.

— Mama who send Johnny-jumper over to rape you. No, chile, you and she was never flesh, not even combolo, you know that. All the same. That bitch never take to you from the day she hold you as a baby. One big mistake to make her take you, from that very day me say it, but nobody listen to old Homer.

— Me know, me kn. . me know she never like me but she was me mama.

— Circe couldn’t mama nothing, chile. Inside that womb deader than doorpost. How she to raise life?

Lilith curl up on the mat. Homer move to go over to her, then stop, then move again. She sit on the floor and Lilith push her head in her lap while she bawl again. Homer move to touch her hair but stop. Lilith face squeeze up with bawling and she grab Homer knee.

— Hush now, me chile, hush now, Homer say.

— She say me was just a stupid nigger girl, who couldn’t do nothing right. She never say a nice thing to me ever. What me do to her?

— Circe be the only nigger me know who ever try to breed. She try real hard. Hard, hard, hard, but she barren like wilderness. Mayhaps ’cause you not her blood, she sow bitterness for you. Anyhow, since you leave her hut Jack Wilkins send her back to the field. Can you imagine? After fourteen year living like free coloured and showing off ’pon nigger she end up right back among they number. She blame you for that too. Who know? But the trap she set catch her back.

— I hope she did bawl. I hope she did bawl blood.

— All right, shush now. You taking things too hard, me chile.

— She try to kill me! How the raas me must take it?

— Just shush, chile.

— Me don’t need shushing! Me. . Lilith start bawling again. After a good while of sniffling and weeping and bawling, Lilith fall asleep in Homer lap. By the time Homer leave her in the cellar, word already spread through the house and the field that Circe set Obeah on Lilith but Homer attack with Myal and make Circe own lifeblood kill her. Homer go to the door and say this to the kitchen:

— No way that Circe woman could have come all by her lonesome to this great house and go down the cellar, so somebody in this kitchen was in league with her. Same grave Circe dig she fall into and worse goin’ happen if that other nigger don’t set herself right. Me done talk.

Homer go back her table in the kitchen and count off banana for supper.

Nobody think to mess with Lilith after that, but that was correspondence among house nigger and didn’t reach the ear of any soul outside, not even the Johnny-jumpers. A doctor come up from Spanish Town and say that Circe be the worst case of the bloody flux he ever encounter, like the devil possess her body and was trying any hole possible to burst out. Quinn didn’t want her disease to spread and Homer didn’t want white man to know of war between the spirits so they both get what they want, unbeknownst to Quinn. The overseer order the jumpers, who order three field negro to bury Circe under a cotton tree four mile from the estate.

After that Lilith don’t trust nobody. But when night come she feel a heaviness ’pon her and she wonder if the dark was making her blacker. She find herself forgetting the Johnny-jumper face. She wonder how Homer make do with all that lonesomeness, ’cause her lonesomeness make her want to scream. Sometime she think to run outside where Johnny-jumpers may be waiting and let them do what they want, just to feel somebody wanting her for something. She wish she was a field negro for they too busy to feel lonesomeness. She come to realise that Homer be her only protector and sometimes that make her want to call her name, just to make sure she upstairs, but other time she wish she could call and nobody answer. Time come when the name Homer please and sick her. Every time she steal a glance at the skinny woman, she see Homer already looking at her. Even when Homer back turn to her Lilith still feel her looking.

Lilith hiss.

Lilith get tired of coming through the back door. She grab the mop and bucket to swab the cellar floor and fling them in a corner. Lilith throw down the petticoat that the mistress always tearing and Homer always giving her to fix. She hate sewing. She hate that Homer keep telling her to clean the cellar and the shelves that never get dust. Lilith ask Homer when she goin’ be a proper house negro and clean upstairs and how come she can’t serve food like the other negrowomens in the house, since none pretty or have clean fingernail like she. Homer say, Pretty gal go a river and see herself in water. Pretty gal drown when she go down to kiss herself. Lilith hiss at what Homer say, but she mark that Homer say it.

October come. This be crop time on the estate, when no field nigger sleep. Even in the cellar, Lilith hear the marching of two hundred feet in the morning and in the evening. The songs they be singing so far off that all she hear is the uh-huh! when they all chop at once. The crackle and crunch of the mill that run day and night and keep every light sleeper awake. Lilith was glad for the first time that she was a house slave.

One day when Homer gone to Kingston with the massa, one of the cooks say that when Homer ready, she used to go out to the goat pen and cover herself with nanny goat piss so that a ram goat would back her into a corner and rut her. Other nigger say that Homer pussy no got no hole and she buy all her pickneys. Other nigger say that Homer cho-cho tougher than wood chip. Homer used to say that the man no born yet that could handle her, so the only answer was to have no man, except when Jack Wilkins set niggermens ’pon her before she pass child breeding age and she beget a boy and a girl. The boy get sell to salt farm in Bermuda and the girl get sell to a estate in the Cockpit Country to the west.

Homer go down the cellar one night and wake Lilith up. Homer by her close and Lilith don’t like it. Homer pull out something from her apron.

— You know what this be, chile?

— Me didn’t born behind cow. Is book, they call it.

— You don’t say. Is when since you lay eye ’pon book?

— Tantalus did… but not to touch.

— Touch it, then.

Homer hand the book to Lilith and she take it in her fingers. Lilith expecting something like a dress or a jewel box that easy to break like any other backra thing. The book hard and soft at once, the cover when she run her fingers over it feel like linen or osnaburg, but the book also hard like wood and thick. The book red like wine or blood. She never feel or smell anything like that ever. A scent like oil, or mayhaps white man armpit, or dust and something else, all of them smelling something awful apart but together make the most wonderfullest thing. Lilith close her eye and breathe in the smell like tobacco.

— Even better when you open it, Homer say.

Lilith open the book. The leaves white in the center but get browner to the edge. She shut it back quick.

— Why you bring this down here? Me not fool, you know. Me know that Robert Quinn would kill we if he see we.

— You have more sense than me did think. Why you think that be so, me chile?

— Because is white people things. Nigger not to care ’bout them things.

Homer laugh.

— Then you is a real nigger for sure. Make me tell you something and you listen good. You see this? This book? As long as you can’t read this white man will have all sort of power over you.

— So when me can read chain goin’ break? You is one perplexing nigger, Homer, anybody ever tell you?

— Me not nobody nigger. Learn this, when you can make out word, nothing the massa can do will surprise you. A nigger, he no got nothing. He got nothing. But when you can make out a word, that is something indeed. You know how long me know that Massa Humphrey was coming? You think ’bout that. When a nigger can read, she can plan, if is even for just a minute. Make me tell you something else ’bout reading. You see this? Every time you open this you get free. Freeness up in here and nobody even have to know you get free but you.

— If the massa find out, you dead.

— If the massa supper spoil, you dead, what be the difference?

— Me suppose to answer that?

— It name question, me chile. White man is beast either way. Nothing you can change ’bout him. But you can change plenty ’bout you. Regard that a while. You not no fool and you not common. You remember that. One of these days you goin’ know what me talking ’bout.

Lilith quiet for a while. The darkness telling her nothing.

— What that book name?

— Joseph Andrews. Henry Fielding write it. British man.

— That don’t sound like nothing.

— You just wait.

So Homer commence teaching Lilith how to read. Lilith don’t know why her, but glad to have the new feeling rise in her when she see a letter shape into something when they in front of her. A cup was something that she could hold and pour tea into, but a cup was also a c-u-p and when she hold her hand steady she could write it plain for Homer to see. Homer nod her head and then show her s-a-u-c-e-r. Lilith begin to see how reading and writing work and how you can write a thing and give it to a nigger and nobody can hear what she say even if she could only write that t-h-e b-l-a-c-k c-a-t s-i-t o-n t-h-e m-a-t. Writing be silent talking and Lilith like to have something that nosy nigger can’t overhear. But more so every time Lilith learn a word the cellar seem not so dark. Or mayhaps it was she who didn’t seem so dark. Lilith don’t know, but she feel like she enter something or she goin’ somewhere that most other nigger couldn’t follow.

And that Joseph Andrews. That rascal. Seems all that white man have to do is bide him time and keep him place and everywhere he trip he goin’ land right between white woman legs. Black woman hard to laugh, for she must keep it secret and quiet-like for all white man suspicious of negro mirth. Homer read the book and Lilith clutch her side and try to laugh quiet and get a pain that would make her cry if she still wasn’t laughing.

‘I am afraid,’ said Lady Booby, ‘he is a wild young Fellow.’ ‘That he is,’ said Slipslop, ‘and a wicked one too. To my knowledge he games, drinks, swears and fights eternally: besides, he is horribly indicted to Wenching.’ ‘Ay!’ said the Lady, ‘I never heard that of him.’ ‘O Madam!’ answered the other, ‘he is so lewd a Rascal, that if your Ladyship keeps him much longer, you will not have one Virgin in your House except myself. And yet I can’t conceive what the Wenches see in him, to be so foolishly fond as they are; in my Eyes, he is as ugly a Scarecrow as I ever upheld.’

— That wild fellow sound like Robert Quinn, Lilith say.

— Eehi? What news you have ’bout Robert Quinn?

— My ears as good at night as yours, Homer.

They both laugh.

— How you come by book learning? You is just common nigger.

— Nothing common ’bout me, chile. Or you neither.

— How you come by book learning?

— Jack Wilkins’ sister, she teach me. Lord God, that be a long time ago. Every time her governess teach her two word, she find me working the house and drag me away to teach me. She even beat me like how governess beat her. But she show me how word read and how word write and me soon start teach meself.

— And the massa never know?

— No massa live here them time. Only the overseer, Jack Wilkins’ papa. Him never care ’bout what him daughter do. You could have call him a good man, even. Good for a white man anyway. That girl was a wicked little bitch. But she teach me how perfume read, then how it write. P-e-r-f-u-m-e. And how one letter put next to another letter change how they sound like.

— What happen to she?

— Dead from consumption at her fifteen year. She always did sickly. Massa Jack take the death hard. He wicked like the devil after that.

Lilith still wondering why is it that Homer helping her so. Maybe she feel sorry over that matter with Circe but that was a long time ago. Homer come in the dark to teach her to read but she look at her too long. And she keep wiping things off Lilith face, even sweat. And touching her face and giving her extra osnaburg cloth for monthly blood and tea for when them days get heavy. And talking to her ’bout how she must take care of herself because she busting out of her dress. And talking to her like she be a young’un. Lilith start to wonder what Homer desire.

One day right before evening start creep up, Lilith in the open kitchen stirring the pumpkin soup. Every house negro in the kitchen, ’cause the mother still have little sense about her and she begin to send out invitation to the Montpelier Estate New Year’s Eve ball. The mother head not so bad when she have something to do. Is when she idle that the devil fly up in her. Two day before, she and Homer gone to Kingston to buy pretty things to string up in the ballroom. Plenty green ribbon and bow string up on the ceiling and hang down so low that they brush the head. On the walls more candle alight and plenty angel that make out of paper hang up in between the paintings of dead people. The mother excited.

So everybody in the kitchen wondering what they goin’ be called to do when Homer rush in.

— Lilith, go downstairs, she say.

— To go do what? Everybody else up here cooking.

— Me say to go downstairs. We need more potato.

— One whole sack full right there in the corner.

— Don’t backtalk me, negro girl.

— Me will backtalk and front talk you, negro. Every minute you send me go downstairs, what me look like, house rat?

— With them eye, more like a house puss, say one of the man.

— Must be combolo you be looking, pussyhole, Lilith said.

— Lilith! Go downstairs! Now!

— No.

— Me say—

— And me say no. What part of no you not be understanding, the n or the o?

— Jesus Christ, negro girl!

— Is what you talking ’bout, pussy-eye, what is En and what is Oh?

— Everybody shut up you goddamn mouth! say Homer. — Lilith, don’t make me tell you again.

Homer push Lilith and she nearly stumble down the stairs. Lilith stay on the third step and look out. The mistress come in the kitchen before anybody could say anything. Her wig didn’t fix right.

— Homer, I’m sure you’re aware what season it is. Why have I not seen your sorry lot? There are fittings to be done, surely, the way I’ve been fattening the lot of you.

Homer look at the niggers in the kitchen and shout, Stand up, stand up, make the mistress see you! Everybody stand up and line up in front of the mistress, who walk from first to last and back again. The scowl never leave her face.

— I don’t like the look of any, I’ll tell you that much. The women in particular get lankier by the year. Good-bye to good china, I’ll be saying after this. Homer, I could have sworn you had a new girl in the cellar these past months.

— A new girl, mistress?

— Yes, Homer. Contrary to popular belief, I do know all that goes on in my own house, I daresay this entire plantation. You’ve made this mistake before, Homer, do you recall?

— Me recall it plenty fine, ma’am.

— Wonderful. I’m sure your back recalls it quite vividly. Now, where is this new girl?

Lilith leap in front of the two womens with no help from Homer. — Why, yes. Yes. She’ll have to do, the mistress say without looking at her.

— She clumsy, mistress. She goin’ break the china.

— Me not clumsy. Me young.

— And spirited. Perhaps too spirited. Homer, make sure she is cleaned up. I’ll have none of those horrid niggerwoman stenches. I want her hair combed, her back scrubbed, her fingernails cleaned and her uniform fitted. Any hint of lice and I’ll have both of you flogged within inches of your lives.

— Yes, mistress. I be doing it, mistress.

— That settles that, the mistress say and leave.

— Yes, mistress, I be doing it, mistress, Lilith say and curtsy and laugh at Homer. Homer go over and slap her cheek so hard that the little girl stagger and nearly drop. The girl get up to jump her but Homer look at her dead straight and say, Try it, you little bitch, just you try it. Lilith run downstairs crying. Everybody watching Homer as her straighten her frock, raise her chin high and go to her room.

6

LILITH HATING THE DARKNESS BECAUSE IT NOT DARK NO more. In the dark she seeing things, like a swinging noose or a head exploding like a drop pumpkin. Lilith down in the cellar half asleep. But she can’t remember the Johnny-jumper face. She can’t remember if a black pot had green tea boiling or a green pot had black tea boiling. She can’t remember if he scream once or plenty or if that scream different from any other scream she hear on a sugar plantation. But she seeing things.

She running wild in the ratoon fields. She can feel every footstep and her titty not so big that they jerk and hurt her. She running too far. Ratoon field be nothing but last year chopped cane that leave to grow back by it lonesome. Lilith run to the end and pull two stalk apart to see the new fields. A niggerwoman on her knees, shaking and blubbering. Her face swell and cut up and wash with so much blood that she drip red. She begging with a cry for the woman got no words. One of her eye shut. The white man standing with him legs apart, hip thrust forward, shoulder hunch and neck stuck out. He put the bottle to him head and drink again, him long yellow hair blocking him eyes. He rub the bottle ’gainst the nigger cheek and nudge her hard. The nigger put the white man cocky back in her mouth. The white man swig the bottle again as the nigger suck him. Lilith watchin’ the white man thrust himself in the nigger mouth as the nigger suck in her cheeks. Then the white man start groan and make a big fuss and grab the nigger by the head before she can spit him out. Lilith can smell the struggle. The white man make one last groan and release the nigger, who grab her throat and spit and spit and spit. The overseer clobber that nigger and she fall back flat in the dirt. Then he whip out a musket. Lilith jump when he fire and the sudden gunpowder make her cough. The white man look around sudden, but the liquor almost make him drop. Lilith push back quick into the bush but look at the white man drunkenness and feel the sun on her skin and wonder about a man that can drink or carry on as he please. The man shove him cocky back in him breeches.

— What the blazes are ye up to, McClusky? a white voice say some distance away.

— Found meself a runaway, yes I did, the man say.

— Oh, for fook’s sake, ye didn’t shoot ’er, did ye? the voice say.

— Well, the bitch shouldn’ ’ave tried ta run again, innit? the man say.

Lilith look at the dead nigger once and shudder, but beyond that nothing. She don’t have green eye. She not no sister and she not no mother. Lilith say that over and over until her mouth whisper it. She watch the woman turn into nigger, then animal, then dirt, then nothing. Crow food. She look up and follow the sway of the white man, him hair flowing and him loose shirt lapping and her head swinging as him body swinging until he disappear in the field. She cock her finger and aim at the dirt.

— Pow. Pow, she say.

— Is nigger you shooting or whitey? Homer say and Lilith jump.

— Me didn’t see you coming.

— Not much anybody can see in the dark. Other than what they either fearin’ or wanting. Which be you?

— What you want?

— Follow me directly, Homer say.

Lilith not listening to her, and answer with a loud hiss.

— Come chile, make haste. We don’t have much time, Homer say.

— Time for what? the girl bawl out, knowing where Homer is in the dark and looking elsewhere.

Homer say time to make the difference between smart and fool, strong or weak, living or dead. Lilith not understanding.

— Which one you want to be, girl chile? Dead or living? Homer ask.

Lilith say she not ready to dead yet ’cause she don’t know where dead people go. Same place they was goin’ when them living, Homer say. Homer climb up the stairs. Lilith wait like she pondering and decide to follow.

The sky wearing black.

— Stop the dilly-dallying, negro girl, Homer say and Lilith have to run to catch up to Homer as she disappear in the cane field. Homer didn’t have no lamp but move through the cane field like is daylight. Lilith ’fraid that she will step on a rat or yellow snake.

Homer gone ahead of her. Lilith running soft like a goat thief, she barely seeing Homer ahead and could swear that Homer legs not stepping, but she gliding over the ground like a duppy. This would be just what she was expecting from a Myal woman and Homer did scowl when Lilith ask if she be one. She wondering if the black witch cooking up a new trick. Lilith walking and walking faster and faster until she realise that she running to keep up. Homer and the night is friend, Lilith know. She near out of breath now, but Homer still moving quick through the cane field. Lilith wondering how the hell a old woman can run so fast. The cane stalks lookin’ like they bend out of the way before she pass. Lilith ’fraid. She run harder.

Then Homer disappear. Lilith think to scream, but know that if a white man hear a negro this time of night is a full day’s whipping coming for sure, if they don’t shoot her first. And even that not as awful as the Johnny-jumpers. Lilith shudder and cuss and shudder and cuss and cuss some more. Johnny-jumpers. Homer leave her loose in the field for a Johnny to jump her. She cuss herself that she didn’t see this coming. If she was Homer she would turn her over too. This wild girl who take to attacking house nigger, this bad nigger who kill Johnny-jumper who did just want what all man want and will get one way or the other. Because of her there be war between Johnny-jumper and house nigger. Now it look like Homer turn her over and maybe that is best for everybody. But not she. Damn that bitch. Damn that lemongrass-smelling cunt all the way to hell. She wish she could remember what that Johnny-jumper boy look like.

Lilith crouch down in the cane piece, thinking that if she can bide her time till the morning hour at least she will know where to run. Then she look around. Just about every nigger know that sometimes the most wretched thing about being a field slave is the field itself. In the field a rat would bite you toe and in a fortnight the whole leg have to go. In the night a leaf is a blade, a stalk will whip you in the face and who knows what kind of man hide in the bush. And that was only the half. There was other things nigger fear in the field that have nothing to do with flesh. Rolling calf that come up from hellfire to take people back and Imilozi bush spirits that run ten pace behind a nigger, waiting for he to err and look back. Duppy, especially of that girl they burn in 1785. Lilith hear a creak and think of snakes crawling all over her body and strangling her like a rat. She would have to bear till morning. Lilith run back where she think she come from. She run back to the left and the bush swallow her up. Lilith see nothing but dark, not a darkness like sky or like the cellar, but a dark with prickly thing to scratch her. She run further, not knowing where she going but running until that be the only thing she could think of. Then she see a light. A little twinkle far off lead her to the cave.

The cave was just a hole in a hill that she barely climb through, but once inside it wide like a white woman closet. Lilith think maybe she under the same hill where they bury the old massa, but couldn’t tell for sure. Plus there was no way she did run so far, that would be near seven mile. There be nothing to see, so she go by hearing and touching. The cold rock inside, the soft bush underfoot, the branch sticking out, then the sticky mud, then the sharp stones. She follow a smell that unlike the others, not musty or old or sour. Mint and lemongrass.

— Lookee here now. Girly sniff out the house for sheself. What more proof you need, the lot o’ you? somebody say. Lilith hear the voice coming from further and it frighten her a little, but that was where the light be. Lilith foot start scratch her and she brush away the ants and cuss.

— You think you on excursion, chile? Get you backside in here, say a voice coming from the light. Homer.

— Why yuh bring ’er yah me want to know, say another voice, hoarse and scratchy like is an old tree whispering. The voice belong to a woman that Lilith hear before. Up in the kitchen warning Homer about Jack Wilkins, but before that in Circe hut. She almost a midget but without the big head. In the night her skin blacker but her eyes almost glow in the dark. Green like her own. Gorgon, the woman with the cart who ride off with the dead Johnny-jumper who face Lilith couldn’t remember. Lilith step in to where the womens be.

— Nobody bring her here. Girly find the way herself, don’t it? Pallas say.

Lilith see Pallas smile but look away quick when she see one of the women back away into the shadow of the cave, a tall, skinny one who swing like willow tree. She plait her long stiff hair in five and they stick out like branch from her head.

— Ah, de devil bring her ’ere, dat me know, Pallas.

— Devil is white man business, Gorgon. The girl would never find this place if she didn’t have special eye to look. Don’t it, Homer?

Homer come of a dark corner.

— Almost. Nothing special in the eye, but in the woman herself. Nothing but good common sense. Something lost to most nigger, Homer say.

As soon as she see Homer she see all the womens. The cave they treat like a room, with a table in the middle and a candle on top. Three chairs be round the table, all different, including the red armchair she remember from Circe hut. The other womens sit on a rock or stand. Lilith couldn’t make out the light, that brighten what it want to brighten and darken what it want to darken and she wonder if that too be Homer doing. When Lilith look up she see six womens all looking at her. Bantam-size Gorgon, who scratch her hair and frown; Hippolyta with the tree-branch hair, the tallest and skinniest, who remain standing in a dark corner; Iphigenia, who Lilith remember cursing Circe for taking her man once. Lilith smile but Iphigenia didn’t smile back. Iphigenia face wide like crocodile and lips thick like molasses and she wearing a neck scarf and red dress long in the sleeve, like she expectin’ cold air. Pallas in the cave without her headwrap and her hair straight and red like white woman. Beside her be Callisto, whose hair pull back and tie in one and who have a patch over her right eye like a pirate. Moving in and out of the dark but not sitting down was Homer.

— The chile find the way with her own inside map. That settle the matter, Homer say and press her two thin lip together like that is the final thing to say.

— Unu bloodcloth! Dat don’t settle nothing! Gorgon say. — Me surer ’bout de devil dan me sure ’bout she.

Homer stop moving and look straight at Gorgon. Gorgon look straight back but then turn away. Homer look at Lilith. She seem to smile but Lilith couldn’t tell for sure.

— Not even massa dog can find this place, but she find it, Homer say.

— Fuckery. You lead her half de way, knowing you, say Gorgon.

Homer look at Lilith. — Olokun give her new sight, she say.

In the candlelight Homer pick up a darkness that make her look different from before. Lilith think right there that if she cut Homer, black oil would pour out, not blood.

— Johnny-jumper, they after me.

— Johnny-jumper too busy right now taking woman without permission. They don’t know these parts, chile, Homer say.

— Me know what me hear.

— Den go back out dere and look see, Gorgon say.

— Lord God, Gorgon, shut up, Callisto say. Callisto more interested in the knife in her hand. She put the point on her finger and it stay up straight.

— She find the place herself. That fine enough for me. Now stop wasting me time, Callisto say. Callisto have the kind of face that look like it chop out of wood, sharp with plenty corner. Gorgon gulp every time Callisto say anything to her.

Nobody look like no slave. Nobody slouch, nobody looking down at the ground, nobody wrapping her arms up to make themself smaller, and nobody hiding save for Hippolyta. Lilith feel herself straightening up. She try to look at the woman in front of her but that was Callisto so she look away.

— The opening not suffering from lonesomeness, Lilith, you can leave it be, Homer say.

Lilith step inside some more. Is then she see something that she didn’t see before, something the light was hiding, not showing. All the womens, everybody from short, fat Gorgon to tall, meager Hippolyta have something in common but not quite. One or two have hair that not kinky, and one or two have hair like wool. Two or three have light mulatto skin, but one or two have the same wide lip. One or two tall like a tree but all sit and walk the same way. And the one called Hippolyta, when she finally step out of the dark, have green eye, just like Lilith and Gorgon. Lilith feel trembling come over her like they just dip her in a night stream.

— These womens be your sister, chile, Homer say.

Lilith regard them for a long time. Then she burst out a laugh.

— You all mad, she say.

Iphigenia and Gorgon laugh. — Circe? She think that dead cunt woman is her mammy? Iphigenia say, laughing so hard that she grab her scarf quick and push it up on her neck. Her voice and her laugh seem to come out of some dark hole, Lilith think. Iphigenia smile so wide that is like a sword slice her face halfway. It frighten her little bit, like Callisto eye patch and Hippolyta face in the shadow.

— She already know ’bout Circe, Homer say.

— And she still think Tantalus be her pappy? Eh-eh! That mad nigger can’t even fuck off, much less fuck pussy, Iphigenia say.

— You and you mouth! But is true, Lilith. There be no field that Tantalus can water, Homer say. Lilith squeeze her knuckles tight. Gorgon laugh harder.

— Me give you joke, midget?

— Who de bloodcloth yuh a-call midget! No make me—

— Gorgon! Callisto say. — And you, shut you ass before me shut it good and proper. Go on, Homer, Callisto say. Homer still in the back with lightness and darkness flowing over her face. Lilith look around for the candle just to make sure.

— Tantalus balls cut off ever since they catch him playing with himself while peeping at the mistress. Long before you born. No way that nigger be your daddy.

— Lying witch, you out to cross me from me did born.

— But coo yah! Look ’pon you too. What little mouse have that big rat want? If you want, we can go out to where they tie him up and spread him legs apart, right now we can go. He old and nothing goin’ wake him. Well? Come make we go, chile. You say you don’t believe me. Uh-huh. You must listen when me talking to you. You didn’t think it queer-like that you eye green? You who love look in silver tray at youself — oh yes, you think me never see you loving how you think you look. Where you think them green eye come from?

— Tell me.

— What you seeing should have tell you by now. Jack Wilkins, chile. He be you father. Jack Wilkins the overseer.

— You stink like shit.

— Me say Jack Wilkins be you papa. Don’t go on like you never think so yourself. Jack Wilkins take you mama, as be the custom, just like he do the mama of every woman here. Every woman you see in this room come from Jack Wilkins seed. Every woman and you.

— You don’t have green eye.

— Me from before that time. Plus no man can handle me, not even white man.

— Is not that people say.

— And how you would know? Who talk to you?

Lilith silent. Homer go to say something but stop.

— You want me to believe—

— Chile, you don’t have nothing that me want.

— But Homer, don’t we. . Pallas whisper.

— We don’t want nothing from you. We be here to give you something. The first be the truth. Tantalus not your daddy, ’cause Tantalus can’t be nobody daddy. That be Jack Wilkins. And that woman who suckle you was not your mama neither.

— Why you hate me so? Me never do nothing to you.

— Is so negro life easy that me have time to hate gal like you? Cut the damn foolishness, chile, we don’t have much time left.

— Time for what?

— Me already tell you. Time to know what true and what lie, time to decide if you want to be slave or—

— Free? Oh. Me see now.

Lilith start to walk among the women. Looking at some, but not Callisto. — First me did think unu was just some Myal woman fighting ’gainst Obeah. But the whole of you is some madwoman looking for young girl. All of you mad.

— Make she galang, Homer. Even if dat bitch Circe didn’t breed her, she be more like her now, say Gorgon.

— Me not nothing like she, Lilith say.

— Eehi, Gorgon say and hiss.

Gorgon waiting for Homer to send her away. Lilith thinking now that she want to stay just to spite Gorgon, who too short to be ’fraid of, unlike Callisto. But she don’t like how Homer talking and how she looking dark one blink, light the next.

— Freedom comin’ before next Easter, Homer say.

— What?

— You hear what me say.

— Obeah woman tell you that?

— True is a true be.

— You either lie or you fool. Massa not ’bout to give no nigger free paper.

— Who say nothing ’bout the massa, chile? We not getting free, we taking free, Homer say.

Pallas, looking at Lilith, say, Homer, you sure ’bout telli—

— What she goin’ do? Tell her new friendy the mistress? Mistress know you kill Johnny-jumper too? If it was up to she, that mistress would make all of them rape you and sell the young’un.

— You, you jus’ wicked ’cause me be sixteen and the mistress favourite.

— Oh. Is that you making arrangement for, Homer say and Pallas and Callisto laugh while Gorgon hiss. — You the only one who don’t know say the mistress head take her all the time? You think ’cause she throwing party the devil don’t gone with her good sense?

— She look plenty sensible to me.

— Girly if you don’t know that not everything be how it look, then you not ready, Pallas say.

— Homer, is long time Circe be poisonin’ de bitch mind, you can’t trust—

— Me have as much sense as you, nigger. Me find you cave and me can show the mistress where all of you plotting.

All of a sudden, the only sound in the room was the candle flicking. Every woman in the room look ’pon Lilith. Gorgon get up. Callisto hold up her knife by the blade and look at Lilith. Even Hippolyta come out of the shadow. Lilith gasp.

— Me can fling this knife between a wild boar eye at seventy pace, Callisto say.

— I, I, I can run.

— You, you, you can try.

Lilith smart mouth run out of smart.

— Ju-just ’cause all of we come from Massa Jack don’t mean me and you be combolo.

— Listen to youself, you stupid chile, Homer say. — You think you and white woman goin’ be friend? You think she goin’ make tea and cucumber sandwich and invite you to sit? Don’t tell me say me make big mistake and think you have sense. And you is fifteen, not sixteen.

Homer move towards Lilith. Lilith step back. Callisto get up too, still holding her knife by the blade. Lilith grab her neck and step backways slow.

— We goin’ have to deal with her like Circe, Callisto say.

— Everybody quiet! Homer say.

— Callisto, the girly don’t know no better. Leave her be, Pallas say.

— Me, me don’t need nobody lookin’ after me, Lilith say, stepping backways still.

— Not you I was looking after, Pallas say.

— Enough! Homer say. — We losing the night. Now listen to me, chile, listen to me good now. Things not be as they be, not as you see. And soon things goin’ be hellfire worse, ’specially for the backra. There be things you must know, things that will put you over other negro and even the backra themself. You can feel it already. That thing in here. Homer point to her chest and almost touch Lilith nipple. Lilith step back.

— That thing make you spirited, even the mistress call you that. But spirit can’t work when you no have no sense—

— Me have plenty sen—

— Quiet when me talking! Is this same spirit you not checking that make you backtalk you betters. Me be here long, chile, and trust me, you not the first nigger who couldn’t control her mouth. Some gal think that whatever mouth throw, pussy was goin’ catch. Then they get shoot like old horse. Watch youself.

— Why bother watch meself? You watch me plenty already. Morning, noon and night you in me business. Now you all coming down to the cellar, ’bout you teaching me to read. You must really be a sodomite.

Homer look at her hard. The other womens look at Homer.

— You hate me, you hate me just ’cause me soon be mistress favourite, Lilith say. — She pick me, even when you try to frig it up, she pick me. The mistress think me better to show off than you, so me no want to turn into you is if that you offering. Me hear you piss through you ears now that way down there shrivel up.

Callisto hold up the knife, but Homer wave her down.

— Yeah, yeah, calm down the dog, say Lilith.

— What you think this is, stupid negro chile, play-play? say Homer. — You think you is the mistress favourite new dolly? Me see prettier than you get kill ’cause the tea too hot, one more dumb bitch who think she and mistress be combolo.

— Y’all hate me because she think me pretty. You is just like Circe and me done with nigger like you. Me step me way out of Circe hut and me no done step.

— Step you way? Don’t you mean chop you way? Pallas say.

— Go suck you mama, Lilith say.

Pallas dress fly up quick like a big black sun. When the dress fall back down there be the woman with a musket pointing straight at Lilith face. She nearly scream.

— Girly, certain talk I don’t take from nigger, Pallas say and the musket click.

— Pallas, Homer say.

Pallas stick the gun on Lilith forehead. Lilith push herself straight into the rock.

— We only need six, Homer. That is what you same one tell me. Six tell six tell six. Seven just goin’ curse we.

— Bloodcloth true. You same one say so, Homer, Iphigenia say. — Six nigger tell six nigger tell six nigger. Seven nigger? That is like six finger, or three nipple or two cocky. One alone bad enough.

Everybody laugh but Pallas, who eye and musket still on Lilith.

— Massa Jack give me this. Believe it? Then the sum’bitch only give me one bullet, Pallas say. She right in front of Lilith face. Lilith turn away.

— Pallas.

— But methinks that only mean that whoever me shoot, me better don’t miss.

— Pallas!

— What! What, Homer? We did deal with that last bitch for less than what this one just say.

— She young and she fool.

— Me not—

— Me’d watch it before this musket fuck up me mouth if me was you. See it there now, she have me talking like Iphigenia.

The womens laugh. Callisto say, Pallas, you know if you fire you goin’ have to tell why.

Pallas shove the gun back in her stocking. Lilith hope they think is sweat running down her cheek.

— Me gone, Lilith say.

Iphigenia laugh and say, Then Pallas right. You too fool. You better go practise you pussy with some plantain tonight for Johnny-jumper goin’ fuck you till you fool.

— The mistress pick me, so me not going back to the field.

— The mistress do what me tell her, Homer say.

— She be the nigger and you be the backra. Me gone.

— And where you going? Homer ask.

— Me no have to tell you nothing, say Lilith. So keep you woman secret and you woman loving to youself. Me no forget how you slap me, she say to Homer.

— God strike me down dead if worse don’t happen to you sake of that mouth. Now get out. Get out!

The cave tremble. The womens all stand and they don’t look like womens no more. Lilith back away through the cave and stumble. Then she run.

7

TANTALUS THE MAD NIGGER RUN AWAY. NOBODY KNOW HOW that sore foot, bad back, mad-as-hell bastard free himself from the rope, considering Robert Quinn retie it himself with a knot he learn while sailing for His Majesty. Tantalus’ hair near totally white and years of bad living throw a hump in him back that stay there. Everybody think he was goin’ mad again but he did have this thing that Robert Quinn call method to it.

Lilith say out loud that she hope they catch him ’cause she don’t understand why anybody would want to run away from people as nice as the mistress. But as soon as she go down to the cellar, she be a different story. Truth be told, only Tantalus ever pay her any mind. He used to show her him most precious thing, a page tear out from a white girl storybook with picture and word. The page had a girl who mayhaps be a queen or princess sleeping in a big bed and a white boy standing over her who mayhaps be a king or prince or duke or any hoity-toity white man. The white boy look at the white girl like she be the beautifullest, preciousest thing. Almost every night, Tantalus would take out the picture and make up a fresh story about it, a new one every night. And when Lilith finally thief the picture so that she can make up story in the daytime, Tantalus never say nothing. Lilith tell herself these days that word is wind that passeth by, and he get what he deserve. That mad nigger was not her father. Not at all. Jack Wilkins be her daddy now.

— Ah goin’ ask Massa Wilkins if you talking true, Lilith say couple morning later in the kitchen when only she and Homer up.

— Suit yourself. If you feel you must ask the sky why she blue, me not goin’ stop you.

— Talk straight, woman.

— You seem to be thinking lately that me and you is same size. You don’t think it uncanny that in slave life you be the only nigger who live in house with mama and papa? Even man and woman who soft for each other can’t live together, for they know how things go.

— How you mean?

— Look beyond you mirror, chile. This be Montpelier. It no matter who you be, nigger is nigger and any day you could get whip, kill or sell. Just like that. Only thing sure in nigger life is that nothing sure. Nothing but you. Which other pickney you know did have mama and papa in they house? When you ever see Circe or Tantalus work?

— Why that be?

— Now you be the one who want to chat with you papa? Go ask him.

Massa Humphrey did bring him hunting ways to Jamaica but couldn’t find nothing smelling of that mad nigger since Circe did done burn all of him clothes and him was naked most of the time. The hounds runs all over the estate and attack anybody who stink with cane work — plenty nigger and even a driver who say he couldn’t remember when last he take a bath. Robert Quinn say Tantalus be an old worthless nigger so let him go, but Massa Humphrey say an example must be made in Montpelier. He go to send for the militia but nobody need militia when you got the Maroons.

Every nigger done know of the Maroons. Before they sign treaty with the king to end all the warring ’gainst white man, they was the greatest scourge backra ever face. The first Maroons was slaves let loose by the Spanish back when the British invade and take the island over. Them niggers run all the way up into the mountains and deep in the bush and no white man could reach them, but they could reach any backra they choose. Word was that they was four Maroon town in the colony, including one run by a niggerwoman ugly as Ol’ Hige herself. At night they raid any estate, even Montpelier back in them early days before Homer born. They take pig, goat, corn and woman, but many womens leave by they own free will and plenty mens too. Soon it be the wisdom that any nigger who want to be free should wait for the night and set for the hills.

White man couldn’t beat no Maroon. They fight and they war but Maroon could become ground, air or bush if he wish. Green as leaf or black like midnight. One hundred militia go into the hills, less than thirty was coming back. The Maroon trick be to get the infantry to pass through a passage so narrow that they can only go one by one. Then they pick them off. Who know why then in 1738, Cudjoe, the big leader, who did really small and hunchback, sign treaty with the king. Word was that some Maroon village was starving after white man burn down they provision grounds but nobody know for sure. What every nigger done know was that after the treaty, the Maroon, the slave sworn friend, become him sworn enemy. The backra pay two pounds for every captured nigger but most time Maroon done hunt and send back niggers even for free. A nigger who choose to run ’way to freedom now face a new enemy who breathe like he breathe and look like he look. One slave who run from Montpelier back in the days of Jack Wilkins talk ’bout how they fly through the bush and crawl ’pon the ground and lock him neck in chains before he make it to the river. They talk like they still in the Africa, like nigger who come from ship, and they knock him out when he beg and plead and bawl for them to not send him back. Maroon even side with whitey when estate explode in rebellion, taking they guns to catch and shoot nigger.

Tantalus get as far as the coconut fields seven mile from Montpelier when three Maroon catch him. Everybody in fear and trembling at the sight of them three strapping nigger from the bush, two with gun, one with machete, as they drag Tantalus with a rope tie round him hands and neck. One Maroon with hair down him shoulder was wearing breeches, the other pantaloon that tear off at the knee and the third one didn’t wear no clothes at all. He have machete in one hand and spear in the other. Is like the whole estate stop when them Maroons come back with Tantalus and wouldn’t leave until a slave-driver tell Quinn that they waiting for they two pounds. Quinn cuss when he see the other two hold out they hands for two pounds each.

Tantalus old and at first we think they was goin’ show mercy. Three Johnny-jumper tie up Tantalus good and Tantalus start whimper and ask for Jesus to intervene. Everybody expecting Robert Quinn to come with a new whip, but the whole estate shudder when they see he come with an axe. Robert Quinn wave he hand and the niggers pull out Tantalus right foot and use plaster to draw a white line across all the toe. Two hold Tantalus foot while he scream and fight and one grip the axe with two hand and swing.

Homer see Lilith in the kitchen. She say, Worse thing him could ever do was run away. Better he kill another nigger than run away. You feel sorry for the man who raise you?

— No, me don’t feel sorry, and he weren’t no man, Lilith say.

But then something mighty peculiar happen.

As soon as they chop off Tantalus’ toe him madness leave. He still huff and puff and bawl in a fever, but people understand him this time and some chuckle while others tremble at what he say. But the mistress’ madness come back. Or maybe it was just old womanness, people start to reckon. Nobody live too long in the colonies and mayhaps that was not a bad thing. But nobody know what to do because is twelve weeks to the ball and the mistress take to talking to her husband in her bedroom. Mark this word: When the mistress head take her, she be something else. Most of the niggers in spite of the madness come to like that something else. When she mad she don’t have no sense but she also don’t have no care and do what she want. She do her business in a bonnet that a man she didn’t like give to her. And her mouth! When she mad she say what her unthinking mind think and plenty time it funny, like negro love.

— Why would I ever be caught dead at Coulibre with Mr. Roget and that slattern second wife of his? She’s a Frenchwoman in every base sense of the word, the mistress say one day when she get another invitation to a ball. — I swear the cur carries ahead and behind her a fishy fetor! The mistress say this about the father priest who come pray for her — Pray for your own damn soul, you eunuch! Face’s fatter than a pig’s arse.

Other times, the mistress say that good-for-nothing son of hers better get married soon or even she is goin’ to start pronouncing him a sodomite. White woman madness sound like black woman sense and the house slaves find her more agreeable to live with, even though the trouble was more than a handful. But the ball was goin’ to hell and Massa Humphrey huff and puff ’cause he didn’t want to take part in arranging nothing.

— And what in blazes are we supposed to do? Massa Humphrey say in the kitchen, couple days after the mistress’ head take her again. Is morning and he in the kitchen talking to Homer while Robert Quinn drinking tea. Homer dismiss the other negroes for a spell, for she don’t want nobody hearing white people affairs. But Lilith, who was down in the cellar, didn’t get the warning. She climb up the steps but stop when she hear a voice that she never hear up close. Massa Humphrey. She see him plenty time from far but never look at him before. She look at him hair blaze. She lick her bottom lip until it soft, and touch her hair. Lilith look at him as he pace from one end of the kitchen to the next and she rip the breeches off him legs and watch him pacing again. Lilith regarding the massa like she never regard a man before. She don’t know what be the different, if he suddenly get new looks or she suddenly get new eye. She looking at a man who might be a prince or a king, not just a massa. She watch him turn again and stomp up the kitchen like bull. She listen how he voice rise and fall and laugh at Robert Quinn and cuss at Homer. She watch him and try to match them words with them pink lips.

There be two things that a white man can do at once. A white man can save her from the Johnny-jumpers and put her above other negrowomens. A white man like Massa Humphrey can also take her and hold her with the gentle hand that niggerman don’t got and bury him head in her bosom and make him man sound and it wouldn’t be like what she hear coming from Circe hut. Whatever Circe do for tuppence she would be doing something as different as dawn be from dusk. A white man can be a prince or a lord, and whether in the bed or by the pen can free a niggerwoman. This she know because she be a woman now. But there be what she don’t know and would never say, why she need him to look at her but feel to run when he do, why she need him to say something but not to her, and why when Robert Quinn interrupting him, that bastard don’t know him place. Why when breeze blow through him hair she feel hot and why when he smile at a good working nigger she feel hate for that one so bad she could scratch her eyes out. She don’t understand why big woman sense also mix with folly and can’t ask Homer. She watch the massa shiny boots and him breeches and the green waistcoat with flower trim. After that Lilith make every effort to see him, and that was not difficult.

Lilith catch glimpse of Massa Humphrey in the evening as he ride out to see the sunset. Sometimes he and Robert Quinn would come home at dawn, before even Homer wake up, and both mens reeking of rum and whiskey and tobacco and man-stink. Lilith would run between the two as they ignore her and put a kettle on the stove and make tea.

— Toss it all, my memory is as bad as my mum’s, lately. Have I fucked this one? Massa Humphrey say one morning.

— Nay, I can’t say ye have, Quinn say, and both think it so funny that they laugh till they cough. Massa Humphrey push back the chair and lose him balance and fall back to a crash on the floor and both mens laugh even harder. But that same day he back to him surly self, cussing Homer over the ball plans and wondering why he making a nigger plan his ball and not even once looking in Lilith direction. She bite her bottom lip and swing her hip and walk but when Lilith look up he not looking. That make her want to cease but it also make her want to go on. If only she could say something un-niggerlike. Uncommon. Like a lady of good breeding and learning. A woman who have quality that a dirty hussy like Circe never have. Something Homer would know if her bosom was of any use to a man.

Lilith tell herself that she not no foolish nigger. She know what being the massa favourite mean in real speak. She know that a nigger who not uncommon should think and plot. But she also see him hair blaze afire and she remember a white boy on a page tear from a book and everything come together and make her mind burn. Lilith hoping every day that just once he recognise her as the slave who make him tea whichever morning he come in from carousing. One afternoon Massa Humphrey make a trip to the kitchen huffing and puffing. Everything stop. Right behind him was Robert Quinn eating a banana.

— Goddamn if I won’t see some British decency in this house, even if it’s only tea at four, Massa Humphrey say.

— Then I’s best be about fixing it, massa, Homer say.

— No, let her do it. The girl in the cellar. Her teas are particularly robust, if I remember. Not so, Quinn?

— Robust indeed, Robert Quinn say.

Lilith didn’t look at the face she know Homer giving her.

8

The NEXT MORNING, LILITH WAS In The CELLAR BRUSHING cobweb from a silver tray. The kitchen still dark as if no sun was coming. She look at herself and know that she never come ’cross no other woman with her colour eye save for Gorgon and Hippolyta, and they both ugly. She start to believe that Jack Wilkins really be her daddy and the road set before her was going to wind a different way than most nigger. That make her walk straighter. Three time she ask Homer ’bout her real mother and three time Homer go quiet. She wonder if her mother be like her, but without the green eye, of course. She wonder if she was short or tall or fat, or if she get kilt ’cause her spirit wouldn’t dim like lamp. All she learn from Homer is that her mama dead the same time she born and that make Lilith feel bad. Mayhaps she was Jack Wilkins’ chère amie and he did hold her soft while she dead.

Lilith have more question inside her heart, a dozen question all beginning with why, that she don’t ask nobody. Plus she too ’fraid to ask Jack Wilkins and word was that him mind not be the same since he lose the overseer work. The only other soul who might know a thing or two be Tantalus the mad nigger, who was part of this arrangement too. She try to arrange her thinking. Jack Wilkins fuck her mother, her mother get heavy with niggerkin and dead giving birth. Jack Wilkins pass the baby on to Circe for mothering and put her to live with Tantalus for fathering. That don’t make no sense and Lilith cuss. From down in the cellar Lilith hear something smash from upstairs, most likely the mistress’ room. She smashing her Wedgwood china again. Mayhaps old age drive everybody mad at Montpelier. Mayhaps madness be the only thing that afflict white man and nigger alike.

— Lilith, potato waiting on you, Homer shout from the kitchen.

— Hoity-toity nigger deh ’pon the evening shift, say Andromeda. Lilith don’t have nothing to say. Even Homer did turn around, waiting for Lilith smart mouth. But Lilith go over to her corner and sit down and peel potato with her back to everybody. That be near enough to throw the kitchen into ’ruption. Lilith smart mouth for all her rudeness did now become part of the house nigger morning rhythm and slave need a rhythm to carry through the day.

— Jesus Christ, is who break wind in here? Pallas say and look straight at Chiron.

— Me can’t even break egg, he say.

— Smell like you just crack a rotten one with you arse, Pallas say and everybody laugh except Lilith. The laughing bring back the morning and lock Lilith out.

Lilith spirited from the day she first play with the other pickneys and call herself princess. This was Tantalus’ fault for he used to show her the page from the backra storybook whenever she behave like a good little girl. She didn’t know her head was high until other womens say so. But now her head hang low and the only thing that lift her up is the early, early morning when owl going home and nobody awake. That be the time she up and waiting for two riders to come back to Montpelier. And when Massa Humphrey ride up to the kitchen and fling himself into a chair and he and Robert Quinn ask for tea she ready already. She like even more when Robert Quinn not with him and he make conversation with her, even if that be about the damn sun that rise too fast or why Don Juan is lost on a whore and other things that she can only say yes massa to and wish she didn’t have a slow nigger mind. When he laugh, she giggle like an agreeable girl even if she don’t know what she laughing for. Lilith want him to take her up in the house and out of common negro life. Lilith hear about massas and they chère amie and she know she prettier than any other negro in the field or in the house. But she wish there was a nigger to teach her woman things.

Lilith peeling potato and pondering in a way that negro girl not supposed to ponder. She set her sight for the mistress at first but then her behaviour get uncanny and she call Lilith a big piece of black poo. But when the massa drunk and sprawl out and laughing to himself in the kitchen, Lilith start to see him in a new way. Just a drop more sugar, darling, is all he need to say and she carry that one last word for the whole morning, never mind that he call her a backward nigger cunt when she take too long and the tea too hot.

Lilith watch him from the kitchen window as he rein him black horse (white horse on a Sunday) and get dirt on him breeches when he lie down under the tree to the side of the conservatory, talking white people affairs with Robert Quinn. Lilith watch him taking him shirt off all the time. Him chest rise and fall when he laugh and him nipples surround by delicious pink the way a nigger own surround by nasty black. Lilith see him smile and think nothing evil could come out of that mouth. Lilith don’t see that while he and Robert Quinn talking they have a negro whipping a slave girl hard for thieving out sugar to sell in Sunday market. The girl gagged so that she wouldn’t disturb nobody with her screaming. Lilith see the road that goin’ take her out of hard life but not sure what to do. Circe in the past would read her face and slap that stray thinking out but that woman dead. Lilith close her eye, shutting out the cellar darkness for her own and breathe in deep and try to remember what Massa Humphrey smell like. Then a quick thought run past her head. It run again and again until her heart beat fast and her temple kicking her ears. A nigger smart enough to know that any yes must be follow quick with a no. But this morning no gone on trip and not coming back. She thinking crazy-like and the crazy run through her. She wait for when Homer not looking and dash off to the hallway. Three doors down on the left be the linen closet.

The New Year’s Eve ball was coming in ten weeks. Lilith not suppose to be upstairs but she grab bed linen from the closet. Lilith make it all the way upstairs to where the massa bedroom be, only to hear the dogs outside barking like they never bark before. Lilith keep on she gait and see a room door open and look in just as Massa Humphrey jump out of bed and dash to the window. Him body lean and dark on the limbs but white like porcelain in the chest, waist and hips. He turn and grab for him breeches and him penis swing and swing like it want to go back to the window. Massa member swing low like it hanging from a red tree that burst into flame like the red hair on him head. He pull the breeches over him bare arse.

— Hand me those, he say to her and point to the boots.

The dogs barking louder. Lilith drop her bundle to pick up the boots and forget that she did fix her dress so that her titties push like fruit that sell in the market. Though her own come first, she feel right there that other woman titty grown fast past her. She wish she did have some beet to rub on her lip and her cheek. Massa Humphrey grab the boots away from her and pull them on. The dogs getting more louder. Lilith looking round the room for him shirt and get lost in the big bed that command the middle, with four post make out of dark wood that raise all the way up into the ceiling that swirl round and round with naked baby angel. By the time she look back down to the floor, Massa Humphrey brush past her and gone. Lilith still. She grab the bed linen and almost give herself a start. She just stand there in the room waiting for the bed to give her something. She didn’t hear when the dogs stop bark, but she hear the new sound. Sound that never come from the great house yet, that of a laughing woman in Montpelier. The woman laugh again. Lilith leave the massa bedroom and go to the stairs so she could see the door. Homer at the doorway.

Out in the courtyard be a black brougham carriage, big enough to seat four, with a negro at the reins dress up in a green suit and two white horse that get frighten by the dogs. Massa Humphrey run down the steps, and shoo away the dogs. Then he quiet the horse.

— Oh thank heavens, a voice say. A voice that belong to a young white woman. The massa surprise plenty ’cause nobody ever visit Montpelier just so.

— I thought hell’s very hounds were about to make short work of me, she say. — And to think I’ve been such a good girl.

Massa Humphrey perplex. Lilith could see next to nothing. Homer go upstairs to Massa Humphrey room. Lilith watching the doorway and didn’t see her. Then the woman in carriage yell out, Master Wilson! When she see him naked hand waiting to help.

— I daresay, Lord Wilson, that I shall not be seen speaking to a man in such scandalous undress! she say. Massa Humphrey look round himself ’cause he don’t know what she mean.

— Madam? he say, looking down on him breeches that button right and tuck in him boots that did shine only last night.

— I repeat, the lady Roget shall not be manhandled by a man with no shirt on, sir, even if he is a gentleman, or claims as much, she say and sit back down in the carriage.

Lilith see Homer going back down the stairs and wonder when she come up. Massa Humphrey huff and puff and get red. Then he hear giggling in the carriage and smile. Homer, a shirt if you please, and a waistcoat, he say but Homer already at the door with white shirt, cravat, a shiny green waistcoat with a yellow flower pattern and Massa Humphrey favourite banyan that dark blue and shiny and flow all the way down to the ground and spread wide like wings when he walk. Massa Humphrey dress himself right in front of the carriage while the woman inside giggle.

— A thousand pardons, ma’am, I trust I’m far more presentable now, he say and bow low and grin like little boy.

— A little, the voice say and push out her hand.

The lady wearing a wide blue bonnet with a cream bow tie under her chin. Some of her hair tumble out and it curly and yellow. Her dress match her hat, blue with short sleeve and cut low in the front to show her bosom. The dress tie right above her waist with a cream ribbon and spread loose like brandy bottle. Montpelier never see nothing looking so lovely since Jack Wilkins’ daddy come back from a trip with three peacock. She fanning her face. A small face, like a teacup that round like a heart with cheeks higher than the mistress’ own. Two red lip and eyes an ashy colour. Massa Humphrey escorting her away when everybody hear a coughing from the carriage. An old woman hobble to the step wearing nothing but black.

— You’re a cruel one, Master Wilson, to pay no heed to my chaperone, the woman say.

— Chaperone? Massa Humphrey say.

— Well, surely you would not expect a lady to come to a gentleman’s abode all by her lonesome, would you? That would be irredeemingly improper, she say. Massa Humphrey instruct one of the manservant to help the chaperone, who didn’t look too happy that niggerman was touching her.

The lady who come to Montpelier before breakfast name Miss Isobel Roget. She say her sorry for coming so early and blame the ninny nigger coachman who guess wrong the distance from Coulibre to here. Miss Isobel say she come on account of him distress. Seems everybody did know ’bout the legendary Wilson New Year’s Eve ball and everybody also know that Mistress Wilson under the weather lately. Why, it’s my duty as a lady to help, Miss Isobel say. Rumour was that the new governor, Sir George Nugent, would expect an invitation and him wife, Lady Nugent, never satisfied with anything. Miss Isobel repeat that it was her duty as a lady and a neighbour and as a friend to help in any way she can. Massa Humphrey perplex, but he didn’t have nothing to say ’gainst woman reasoning.

— So we are agreed, Miss Isobel say.

Lilith get plenty time to see Miss Isobel, she the daughter of the massa of Coulibre. Massa Humphrey grateful for her, but is long time he living the island way and working himself back into a gentleman was a hard thing.

Since then Miss Isobel be coming to Montpelier every day of the week. The ball was coming and there be plenty thing to do. Lilith hatred turning to fever. She try to fix her dress to show even more bosom but since Miss Isobel come, Massa Humphrey cut down on the night carousing. Not long after, he stop coming at all, leaving Lilith in the morning to see how much she hate her own company. One morning she hear a sound in the kitchen and run up to see only Robert Quinn sitting by the table and looking out at the morning sky, waiting mayhaps.

She spend one whole night with a comb to straighten her hair, but the hair stay negro and curl back ’pon itself. Lilith go back to spending much time looking at herself in the silver tray in the kitchen. She grab the bed linen, which she not supposed to do, and run upstairs and go in the massa room extra early when he just about to wake up. She know he be sleeping naked like how he born. She know how some white woman think that be scandalous. Lilith come in just as he wake up with the bed linen in her hand and her bosom push up like she selling them. The massa walk right past her and go to the privy. She watch him not watching her. Lilith watch him shake it, then go back in him room and pull on him breeches, then stop, pull them back off and shout to Homer to fetch him clean clothes that gentleman receiving company should wear. Homer come in and step right pass Lilith like she don’t see Lilith either. Homer go over to the closet that bigger than slave quarters and come out with dark green breeches and shiny brown boot that pull all the way up to the knee. She help him put on white shirt and cravat. Then him waistcoat.

— Will this please the lady Isobel? he ask Homer.

Homer look straight at Lilith.

— Me think it going please her plenty, massa, she say.

The massa rub him belly and growl like animal and Homer say, Miss Isobel be here already, so remember to act like a proper gentleman. Massa Humphrey laugh at Homer and step through the door, him banyan flowing like huge blue wings. Homer look at Lilith. Lilith place the bed linen in a red armchair by the door and leave.

Lilith stay up every night after that waiting for the full moon. The special full moon that big and gold and heavy and rise low over the Blue Mountain. When the moon finally come she sneak out for the cane piece. Then she remember that is crop time and plenty nigger would still be labouring. She head for the ratoon fields but the canes didn’t grow very high. At some parts only shadow was hiding her. Lilith try not to think of the Johnny-jumpers. A white owl hoot-hoot and fly over her and give her a start so bad that she throw herself to the ground that damp from dew. Lilith go to cry but then stop herself. She look in herself and think about the sound of the cave, that nobody can find in the day. She think about the Blue Mountain that start at the edge of the estate. She think like how Homer would think if she have Homer mind. Homer run through the wild bush in the dark like a negro who don’t need no eye. Lilith think of the dark and she think of the blindness. She think of how blind woman see.

Bufu-bufu

Backra riding through the bush

Lilith run in what she think be the right way. She run faster and faster and think what beating in her chest is her own drum. But her heart going one way and this beat going another. Double her time and beating like a clatter. She feel the beat under her feet and the sound getting louder. A beat and a clang. Then out of nowhere, a whinny. Lilith run faster and try to scream. The hoofs getting louder and closer no matter how fast she run. She try to make a turn to go deep in the cane piece but the loud, galloping hoofs come upon her. The last thing she remember is a blow, sharp and hard, clapping her in the back of her head and her eyes gone dark.

Bufu-bufu

Backra riding through the bush

The bird in the bush bawl qua qua qua and wake her up. Every time she blink, what she see get stranger and stranger. A shadow dance on the walk and frighten her so bad that she jump up and go to run, but stumble on the wood floor.

— And where do ye think yer goin’, lassie? he say and the voice sound to her like is God or the devil.

Lilith eye don’t wake up yet. Her hand start shake and she ’bout to cry. She spin round but can’t see nothing that she remember. Lilith see two red velvet armchair like in the massa conservatory but is not Massa Humphrey house. The room smaller and every corner have a chair. Lilith see a wild animal head burst through the wall and she scream.

— It’s quite dead, I assure you. Clipped that one myself, not far from the Cape of Good Hope, he say and throw a nut that bounce off the lion head and land ’pon the floor.

Lilith stop herself. She hear him chewing. Lilith spin around, past the painting on the wall of a white man and woman and two boy with a dog. Past the other painting of another man that look like Jack Wilkins, past the window that tall as the room and curve up top like the moon that waiting outside, past and going round like a circle, past the two armchair, past the old clock to the table that too big for the room, the table that Robert Quinn be sitting on, him legs up.

— And just what do ye think yer doing gallivanting all by yerself in the darkness? Not even the devil moves about at this hour, Robert Quinn say.

Lilith know when a answer worse than silence, especially to white people. The back of her head throbbing in pain and she wince. Robert Quinn watching her. Not like when the massa be watching a negro girl, but with him left eyebrow raise and head tilt like when dog want to know something. Robert Quinn black boots crust up with mud, but he have two foot up on the table with hands wrap round him knee, the left hand grabbing the right wrist, the right hand holding nuts. Robert Quinn hair black like night and long but him eyes lighter than the massa, so light that it look like he don’t got no eyeball sometimes. This make Lilith more frighten.

— And what’s yer name, luv? Speak up now, Robert Quinn say. Lilith think this mighty uncanny, considering that he see her so often in the kitchen when he and Massa Humphrey used to come back from carousing. Every nigger is the same nigger to them sometimes, she remember Homer say.

— Lilith, sah. They call me Lilith.

— Who calls ye by that name?

— Everybody, sah. Me born to with the name waiting on me.

— Queer name for a place such as this.

— Yes, massa.

— I mean strange. Strange? Ye understand me, do ye not?

— Yes, massa.

— No, you don’t. Too afraid to cross me, ye are.

— Yes, ma—

— Enough, I’m not yer massa.

Robert Quinn living in new quarters, a cottage smaller than Jack Wilkins’ own, not even five chains from the great house. Plenty time house negro hear he and Massa Humphrey cuss ’bout slave punishment, with Massa Humphrey saying Quinn weak now and Robert Quinn saying fine words from a man who can’t watch the whipping he love to order. But Massa Humphrey and Robert Quinn too tight like thief to make cuss-out ’bout negro whipping split them up. Yet distance now between the two, and only one thing different in they affairs.

Miss Isobel Roget.

One of the house negro hear her telling the massa that it might seem a little improper, two unmarried men so close.

— I thought every negro had a Greek name, Robert Quinn say to Lilith. — I heard Jack Wilkins’ father had a certain predilection for tragedy, he say.

— Massa?

— Ye must be something special. Or maybe Jack Wilkins named you. Is yer mum still alive?

— Me no know, sah.

— What do ye mean? How could ye not know? Was she sold? Speak up.

— Me no know, massa, me no know who me mama be.

— And yer father, yer papa?

— Me no know him neither, massa.

— Stop calling me massa. Mr. Quinn is satisfactory. Even Quinn. Could ye call me that?

— No please, massa.

Robert Quinn sigh. Lilith thinking that she goin’ get whip for running around in the night after curfew. She start to wonder what a whipping feel like and if any man was goin’ want her with scar ’cross her back. Robert Quinn lookin’ at her like is the first time he seeing negro flesh.

— With those eyes of yers, only two men on this estate could’ve been your papa, now isn’t that true?

— Me no—

— You no know. Confound it if you niggers know anything at all, save for Homer. Now remind me, where were ye heading this late, running through the cane piece? Weren’t running away, were ye?

— No please, massa, no! Lilith shout. She look down and see her toes chopped off with blood spitting from her foot. She blink and they come back.

— Then where were ye heading?

Lilith don’t know what to say. But she know she better say something or he goin’ do her something. Chop off her toe if he think she running away. A whipping for sure. She look at him lookin’ at her. Lilith is a girl who think like a girl. She wonder if she should push up her bodice and let her titties flop out. She wonder if he goin’ whip her right there. Or if he goin’ wait till daylight and call up the whole estate to see. Lilith think ’bout why she running through the bush.

— I was looking for Homer, she say.

— Homer? Flabbergasted I am, absolutely flabbergasted! Is every negro gallivanting in the dark? Had I known ye were all such night farers, I’d have put house slaves on field duty, Robert Quinn say and laugh.

— What makes ye think Homer was in the cane piece? The last time I saw about such things, she still worked in the great house, he say.

— Yes, massa.

— And what business do ye have with her?

— Massa?

— Why were you looking for her?

— I. .

— You. .

— Me, ah. .

— Aye, if yer trying to save yerself from the lash, yer failing miserably.

— Ah beg you, massa, me no be doing it again.

— Oh, I’m sure ye won’t, but this matter of negro running around at night and meeting disturbs me, disturbs me greatly. Plotting something, the two of you?

— No, please, massa! Lilith say. Robert Quinn jump off the table. Lilith heart jump. Robert Quinn coming toward her. Lilith step back until she couldn’t step back no more. Her back run into the door. Robert Quinn come right up to her face, right up till she can feel him breath on her nose.

— What’re the house niggers of Montpelier up to? he say.

Lilith thinking about what fire feel like. Her back start scratch her as if crying out from the beating already. Robert Quinn raise him hand ’gainst her face and Lilith try to scream but the scream vanish right as it about to leave her mouth. Robert Quinn touch her forehead.

— Yer forehead’s bleeding, he say. Must’ve bruised it when ye fell. Sorry about that, but how was I to know who or what was running around in the dark. Him eyes light, light grey. Lilith try not to look shock that white man just tell nigger sorry.

— Should be thanking the lord for his blessing, that’s what ye should be doing, he say. Lilith look ’pon him all perplex. Her head still throbbing.

— Yes, ye should be on your knees thanking God that the white man that found ye was I. And lately I’ve lost the taste for hurting negro women. As for yer secret, why don’t ye keep it to yerself? Far more interesting anyways. Leave now.

Lilith grab ahold of herself and run to the door.

— Lilith, he say and she stop.

— I’ll have my eyes on ye from now on, just so we understand each other.

Lilith run back to the house. The next morning she up working hard in the kitchen, so hard that Homer take notice. What a thing, me must did sleep and wake up white for you to be impressing me so, Homer say and chuckle. The other negroes in the kitchen chuckle too as they make the breakfast. Lilith laugh with them, but then turn back quick and continue working. Homer tell Lilith to go get some eggs from the hen house. As Lilith go through the door, Homer whisper something to her.

— Next time listen when people warning you, she say but Lilith look ’pon her perplex.

Lilith step outside but a carriage swing from round the bend with a bangarang and she jump out of the way. The cart full with red, green, blue and violet flowers. The cart stop and the negro driving turn round and look at Lilith.

Gorgon.

Gorgon smile like the devil. She say something without talking but Lilith hear it loud like a church bell.

Bufu-bufu

Backra riding through the bush.

9

TANTALUS THE MAD NIGGER DEAD. HE MAKE HIM OWN FOOT kill him. Tantalus refuse to make anybody touch the chopped foot even though pus did pack it up and wherever he go, he stink up the place like a dead man. So Tantalus lock up in the hut. The man senses burnin’ sake of fever. Tantalus’ fever so high that the madness come back and he say things that would cause the massa to hang him in a flash. Even nigger start to complain so Robert Quinn go to Tantalus’ bed one night, dress up in blue coat with shiny stripe that make him seem ready for the sea. Every time Tantalus fall sleep, the rotten foot wake him. Tantalus see Robert Quinn.

— Satan! Satan! Get behind me, Satan!

— Confound it! I’m a man, sir! Robert Quinn shout out but Tantalus keep calling him devil.

Tantalus say, White man, white man, ye be of your father the devil and the lusts of your father ye will do.

Robert Quinn raise him cane to strike Tantalus. Tantalus wail and pull off the sheet and when Robert Quinn see the foot he stagger back and nearly fall down. Robert Quinn see Tantalus cut foot moving and what moving be maggot. Robert Quinn call himself a hard Irish bastard who was never handed nothing in life but he grab him belly and vomit and when he couldn’t vomit, he bowl over and hack like more soon come.

Soon Robert Quinn take to walking from him quarters to the kitchen at night like he haunted. Seeing Tantalus’ foot make he sick to him stomach. Not many day pass before he sick for real. First he coughing then he wheezing then he shivering, even though the night hot like fire. One night he walk up to the kitchen in him nightshirt and see the moonlight shine through the window on a drum full of water by the counter. Robert Quinn dip him whole head in it. He look up with water running down him face and see a shadow lookin’. Quinn go to grab for a pot when he see the shadow be woman shape.

— Fer fuck’s sake, does any negro sleep at Montpelier? What business have ye at this ungodly hour, Homer?

The next night he come through the door Homer ready for him. She sitting on a stool by the table. Drink this, she say and push a teacup across the table. Robert Quinn ponder a little but then grab the cup and drink. He spit out the whole thing and scream that she be witch trying to kill him with poison. He go to grab her but something ’bout Homer sitting up straight and not raising her voice make him stop. Homer go over to the stove and pour more in the cup. That tea not easy to make, she say. No more leave if you waste this cup, she say. He look at her for a long time.

— It not any good cold, she say.

Robert Quinn drink, rubbing him throat.

— God curse you if… he say to Homer and go back to him quarters.

He didn’t come back for a while. But from the day he see Tantalus’ foot, something come over Robert Quinn that make him eye darker and him voice quieter. Massa Humphrey don’t like it. He ask if the man go take too much fancy for a negro wench, and who is the unlucky miss. But Robert Quinn not fancying no negro girl. Nigger see this in white man before, when he realise that he don’t like how blood taste. They catch a boy in the boiling house stuffing sugar in him breeches, but Robert Quinn don’t whip the boy, not even one little lash. Robert Quinn threaten to kill the boy next time but he don’t whip the nigger. People too young to remember the last time that an overseer never wicked. Everybody but Homer. Robert Quinn eat in the kitchen with Homer sometimes and everybody but he find that mighty uncanny.

Then one morning Tantalus dead. Tantalus dead to everybody but one. Homer know who. Night come secret like witch and there be no moon to light up the kitchen. But he know the way by now. Homer at the table waiting for Robert Quinn, the goat weed tea steaming.

Massa Humphrey mother come out of her room when she think it be her birthday. Homer tell her that that day gone six months before and carry her back upstairs. Miss Isobel tell Massa Humphrey that there be places the mistress can go where she will be at peace. Now that she get the massa to buy all new decoration, she call for a seamstress to make all of the house slave new uniform with blue trimming. Miss Isobel choose a new set of slaves to serve at the ball and don’t pick Lilith. Lilith fling some potatoes ’gainst the wall.

— But what the hell, Homer say.

— Is what? Is blind white woman blind?

— You must be the blind one to think you can lose temper in the massa house, Homer say.

— Me have wart in the middle of me face? Me eye them cross? Me fat like sea cow? After nobody can talk to white people like me, Lilith say.

The other nigger in the kitchen look ’pon her. Some laugh and Lilith see.

— Me give any of you stinking nigger joke? Lilith say.

— Stink me could be, but me still get pick and not you, Andromeda say. — Mayhaps is you who should smell under you arm again, she say and laugh.

— Go smell under you cunt!

— Lilith! Enough out o’ you. You think the mistress owe you something?

— She not the mistress.

— Neither be you. Now go peel two potato and settle youself.

— She goin’—

— Me say go settle youself, damn girl. You must still be a pickney.

— Why you don’t go breed another one and stop call me pickney. But that can’t happen since you damn pussy dry up.

Homer silent. She open her mouth slow. — You sure you can handle big woman chat, pickney? You sure you ready for that journey? You think good before you answer. Because some people about to forget that me be the head bloodcloth nigger in here. Now, go peel two potato and don’t draw me tongue out in this place.

— It not fair.

— Nothing fair, you dumb girl. Is nigger you be, Homer say.

Lilith think this was Homer idea to cut her down to size. Homer don’t want to see anybody rise up from they station in negro life. She say if Homer have her way, she would be back in the field cutting cane and running from field negro who get tired of fuckin’ cow. Homer say nothing. Lilith wait a little to go over to Homer and tell her that she want to come to the meeting tonight.

— You and me be combolo? Homer ask. — Why me must be going anywhere with you?

— Me want to come with you. Me want to meet you and the other womens. Me want to learn, Lilith say.

— Learn? Me did think you know enough already. What learning you want to be learning? Homer say.

— The things you say me must learn to put me over other woman, Lilith say.

— You didn’t hear? There be three thing that don’t come back. One is spoken word.

— Me not goin’ beg you if is that you lookin’.

— Me not lookin’ for a thing from you. They bury Tantalus yesterday. Right near where they bury Circe.

— So?

— Not a tear for Tantalus, eh? Not even a little sniff?

— Me don’t care a damn ’bout that damn mad nigger.

— That be the pity. ’Cause he be the only nigger round here who did care for you.

Homer leave her.

Now the ball coming and Lilith mouth can’t shut. Homer see what happening and let her stew. Every day Lilith saying how that clumsy idiot Andromeda can’t handle china, and how Dido can’t boil water and how Pallas can’t be around backra company smelling the way she smell. She point out which female slave have too much wart, who too fat, who too skinny, who walk like duck, who lip too big, who smell like she don’t wash her cho-cho and who just look like any common nigger. Lilith say she be better butler than Apollo and Chiron, even though Homer tell her that the mistress train them two herself. Homer tell her that if the matter burnin’ her so bad, she should take the matter up with the new mistress.

— Montpelier done have a mistress, Lilith say.

— And lo and behold, she not you. Second time me telling you that, Homer say and look straight at Lilith until Lilith look away. Lilith go down to the cellar.

Homer used to teach Lilith how to read but stop when she turn her back to the womens who meet in the cave. Lilith hiss and say she don’t need nobody but lonely feel worse than a night in Circe hut. Everybody hate her, and if everybody hate her, she goin’ hate them back. Lilith was goin’ to get the love she want. Lilith know from the day she see the page with the sleeping princess. Back then, she believe that one day she would wake up with gold hair. Lilith don’t remember when she get green eye so she used to think it be true. Magic was goin’ happen when she sleep. But negro girl can’t sleep too long. Lilith see the new massa in him jacket, breeches and boots and go to sleep waiting for him to wake her up. Lilith don’t tell nobody so nobody could warn her that she thinking crazy. Lilith don’t want to accept things as them be, like a good negro.

Few days before Christmas, Lilith walking round the back of the house despite Homer warning ’bout Johnny-jumpers. Robert Quinn see her but he make her pass. She feel him watch her all the way till she reach the little dirt hill and turn around the corner out of him sight. Lilith walk until she come up to a row and row of pretty flowers and little trees all waiting to plant in the massa garden. The plants under a big shed that make out of a thatch roof and four post. A woman be watering the plant in the back, where the flowers and trees almost hide her.

— Uppity nigger bitch, I can smell you fishy from here, the woman say before she turn round and face Lilith, who clutch her dress and try not to look frighten. The woman study her from head to foot and hiss. How de mistress favourite nigger? She find special work give you yet?

Gorgon get up from the ground and go over to three clay flowerpot that just get water.

— Rose, Gorgon say. — My plant dat. Pretty like frock but will stab the shit out o’ you. Like woman be sometime.

— Me never come—

— Den what you come for? Fi make friend, sister? Me no keep friend. See dem flowers? Dem be the only thing in the world that need soft hand to touch it. Hand that can’t kill nothing. Dats why white man can’t grow flowers, them kill everything dem touch. Even Papa Jack.

— Papa Jack? You call the man Papa Ja—

— What you want, nigger? Gorgon say.

Lilith go back to the cellar after she talk to Gorgon and look through her second dress that wrap in a bundle to use as pillow. She find two earring that Jack Wilkins give Circe, earring that she thief. Lilith go up to the kitchen and join the womens getting the lunch ready because Miss Isobel complain about saltiness two day before and Massa Humphrey slap Pallas and some other negro. Lilith see Andromeda over by the counter shelling gungo peas. Make youself busy, Homer say to Lilith. She grab a pot full of water and walk over to where Andromeda be. Just when she get near, Lilith trip and pot and water fly and slam into Andromeda back. Andromeda scream and slip and fall. Lilith scream she sorry, she sorry and grab Andromeda to pull her back up.

— Bafan! Fool-fool pussy-eye bitch! You ruin me frock, Andromeda shout.

— At least now it finally get a good washing, one of the mens shout out and everybody in the kitchen laugh except for Homer.

— Pallas, mop up this mess, and you, clumsy nigger, go fetch more water. Backra not here to wait on negro, Homer say.

Lilith go outside but leave the bucket at the well. She look around for Robert Quinn but he gone. She turn round the hill again and go back to the garden house. Gorgon waiting. Lilith pull the two earring out of her left pocket and a clump of Andromeda hair out of the right.

People think you light like you eye, but you blacker dan midnight, Gorgon say, then laugh. Lilith don’t look at her for a while. Then she look up and green eye meet green eye.

Tomorrow, Gorgon say.

Next morning, Lilith wake up with fever and think Gorgon trick her. She go upstairs to see the sun come through the window and hit her in the face. Lilith know right away what a bitch this Gorgon be and regret that she go mess with her. Then she hear screaming. The screaming wake up everybody, but Lilith reach the slave quarters first. Lilith jaw drop and she grab her mouth. Andromeda little girl screaming as she watch her mother on her mat. Andromeda mouth coughing up blood. Her eyes crying blood. Andromeda nose breathing blood. Andromeda dress hitch up over her waist and between her legs spitting blood. Andromeda cough up more blood and fall back on the mat. She jerk like she having fits, then stop. She dead. Andromeda little girl run out the room screaming until Homer catch her. Homer don’t come in the room. Lilith turn round to see Homer looking straight at her.

10

WORLD SPREAD THAT ANDROMEDA DAUGHTER RUN ALL OVER the estate, screaming and cawing and dropping and rolling round in the dirt like mad goose. Homer try to hold on to her, but when she see Andromeda, death rattle in her throat already and Lilith looking over her, the girl pull away and run off, screaming down the passage and waking everybody up. Andromeda dead less than an hour, but her body already dark and bluish, as if she lying there for a day. Homer look at Lilith. Lilith know she looking and don’t dare look back. The room still until Andromeda body jerk again and Lilith scream. Homer move in closer but not right up to the body and Lilith turn and leave so that Homer couldn’t grab her.

Andromeda daughter running round in front of the great house making big commotion. Robert Quinn, who did very upset that he get drag out of him slumber, didn’t even stuff him night shirt into him breeches before he step towards her with him musket. She flapping and bawling and when she see him turn to run. He chase after her and strike the back of her head with the musket. She drop flat on her face. Quinn grab her by the leg and start to drag her away, but then coming riding up be Miss Isobel, who frown at him. — I see the courting methods of the overseer have not changed in fifty years, she say but Robert Quinn don’t pay her no mind. Then Massa Humphrey come out on the terrace and say, Robby, what is that God-awful commotion.

— One of yer young slaves, Master Humphrey. Her senses have all but taken leave, I fear.

— Really? What could have caused such a thing?

Quinn look below the terrace and see Lilith running to the front door.

— I think I’m about to find out meself, Quinn say.

— Confound it, has it happened again?

— Massa Quinn?

Robert Quinn circle the body like Homer do before but don’t move in close. One could never trust the bloody flux; even a dead body was — as some people think — more deadly than a live one. It don’t take no time for a body to bloat up with gas and for the earhole, nosehole or pussyhole to spit blood at you. Word was that sometime the whole body explode and cover the room with blood and pus. Quinn make a step closer, then think better of it and step back. He look at the body again, then look at Homer. Sun was just getting up and orange light sneak in through the window. That’s when Quinn see that he was stepping in blood.

— Oh, fer fuck ’s sake! he say and scrape him boots on the floor, cussing still.

— God be damned should we have the bloody flux upon us, he say. — ’Tis the second one, I said. Is it not?

— Massa?

— After the other one, Circe was her name, am I correct? Same thing, blood bursting from her insides. Upon me word, I’ve never seen such nasty, brutish business. And what’s Lilith’s stake in all this?

— Massa?

— Come now, Homer, I saw her running out as if to catch that poor child. This woman was the child’s mother, yes?

— Yes.

— Horrible, of course, seeing one’s mother die of the flux.

— Or perhaps something more nefarious.

Both Homer and Robert Quinn look round, like they both get stun by the same blow. Coming in the room be Miss Isobel with Massa Humphey running behind, like a papa trying to catch him young’un. Miss Isobel fan him away.

— Surely, Miss Isobel, this isn’t the place fer the likes such as yerself.

— I’m well aware of my place, Mr. Quinn. Be so good as to remember yours.

Miss Isobel step in the room and when everybody see how far she be from upset, it upset everybody. She step closer to the body than everybody else, holding up her hand when Massa Humphrey step to her. She cover her nose with her fan and kick at Andromeda foot. Lilith in the hallway, not far from the door, but afraid to come in after Robert Quinn ask what she have to do with all this. She hate how him seem to know her, and scared too. From where she be, she see Homer standing still and both Quinn and Massa Humphrey protest every time Miss Isobel get closer and kick the body.

— Really, gentlemen, I hardly think she’s in a state to make much protest, she say.

— Ma’am, I must insist that ye leave at once. Ye never can tell with the bloody flux—

— Bloody flux? she say very loud. — Surely you’re not so ignorant of the island ways, Mr. Quinn. Were you not born in Barbados, then?

— I think I damn well know the flux when I see it, ma’am.

— Robby, Massa Humphrey say.

— If you think this is the bloody flux, then you’re a bloody fool.

— Really, now, Miss Isobel, Massa Humphrey say. Both him and Robert Quinn getting redder because of her but mayhaps not for the same thing. Quinn getting redder like he about to stomp into the floor.

— How little of the island ways you know, especially for a man who all but grew up nigger.

— Then let us be friends, ma’am, seeing how identical our backgrounds be.

Miss Isobel quick to cover her mouth with the fan. She look at Massa Humphrey but he looking at Andromeda body.

— And you’re convinced ’tis the flux, Robby?

Lilith look at Robert Quinn, who look at Massa Humphrey like he know the massa don’t know the first thing ’bout the flux.

— Aye.

— And I maintain that it’s not. This is not connected to any malady. Certainly none known by people with little understanding of island ways. Is that not so, Homer?

Is not every day that Homer jump. She look away from the three of them and clear her throat. Lilith look at Homer trying to not look at them looking at her. Lilith know she should leave. Right now, right then before they see her or before something evil happen. Andromeda body rising to spit blood in Lilith direction and mark her out. She start to tremble again. Her heart threaten to beat it way right through her breast. Miss Isobel say something twice, as if she know Lilith didn’t hear it the first time.

— This is not flux, this is Obeah. Homer looks like the sort of nigger that can tell you all that you wish to know, and much that you wish not.

Quinn tell Homer to cover the body in a sheet and and have two mens take it away through the back door. He still saying to Massa Humphrey that it be the flux but Massa Humphrey see Homer face when Miss Isobel say Obeah. Lilith watch him watching the two womens talk without saying a word. Man not fool. They know when woman, even a white woman and a negro woman, go off into their secret talking.

In the kitchen all hell about to break loose. Nobody did like Andromeda, but word spread ’bout how she dead and one woman already run outside the house screaming that Obeah deh ’pon di Montpelier Estate. Homer send one of the mens after her and tell the womens in the kitchen to shut they mouth. But whisper rise up and down and up again, and they look at Homer and Lilith and another woman lose her head. She grab a knife and point it at everybody and scream that she sooner kill whoever try to work Obeah on her. Pallas approach her for the knife but the woman try to jab her, saying that Pallas always smell like wild bush. Pallas duck and shift and clobber the woman in the head with a pot and she fall to the floor. Another woman say is not Pallas who smell like wild bush, and the kitchen go quiet around Homer. Lilith think to go back down in the cellar but don’t want nobody suspect her of nothing. Lilith be thinking that Gorgon is who do this with her wickedness and malice. Gorgon who take her earring and give her what she didn’t enter no bargain for. Gorgon who probably goin’ make it look like this be Lilith own doing.

— Chiron, get me a big sheet of osnaburg, Homer say.

Lilith can’t deal with her mind talking to her. She try to be the busiest in the kitchen but start to wonder if everybody watching her since she be the only one who can work when somebody marking off the Montpelier house niggers. Chiron then shout out that it must be a field nigger trick for they always be hating us, the uncommon niggerfolk. Couple nigger nod and agree, even Pallas. Or is the Johnny-jumper them trying a new thing, another one say and the room go silent again. Not a moment pass before Lilith notice that silence mean they all looking at her. She look up quick at Pallas and see her looking away.

— Lunch not goin’ cook itself, Lilith say to nobody.

Outside her window a slave-driver ride past the kitchen on the way to the great house. The driver ride past again, heading back to the fields, this time with Robert Quinn in tow on him own horse. Homer enter the kitchen and go over to Lilith.

— Where them going? Lilith say.

— To the field, the first gang having trouble.

— Not ’bout this?

— Me not no town crier, Lilith.

Lilith go to say something but then Gorgon burst into the kitchen, out of breath even though she come by her carriage.

— Homer, ah yuh go tell dem fi make me carry Andromeda? Why yuh go set dis fuckery ’pon me?

— Next time, make sure you not the only nigger round here who ride carriage, then. Besides, this need to take care of quick before it spread to the field.

— Eehi. Of course. Wouldn’t want no bloody flux to spread to the field, Gorgon say, but she look at Lilith. Lilith try to glare at her but look away first.

— Well, yuh too late. Yuh never see the overseer gallop gone? Two field nigger say dey see black coffin wid three wheel and two john crow on top rolling through de bush.

Somebody in the kitchen lose they breath. A girl younger than Lilith start to whimper then bawl then scream ’bout Obeah coming for them and why Obeahman choose to mark her when she be a good little nigger. She dart from left to right to left and start to see Obeah in everything, the bunch of herb on the windowsill, the pot that black from boiling green tea. Then she say last week she see lizard bones in the cupboard and start to bawl louder and louder. Homer march right up to the girl and give her one hard slap on her left cheek.

— Sort out youself, idiot!

The girl sink to the ground and whimper.

— Any more imbecile in here me need to deal with? ’Cause is the field all fool-fool niggers belong, so whoever want me to send them there, just show you hand. Nobody? Good, then get you lazy arse back to work!

Lilith look at Gorgon. Gorgon look back, her lip moving like she telling Lilith something. Lilith want to call her a murderous bitch but Gorgon face look like she saying the same thing. She don’t know. Gorgon scratch her face but then, real quick, cover her lips with one finger and look at Lilith.

— Lilith. Lilith! Go set the table, Homer say.

At the table, Lilith hear them in the drawing room. Miss Isobel and Massa Humphrey, waiting on Robert Quinn to come back.

— Confound it that the age of reason should visit everywhere but the goddamn colonies, Massa Humphrey say. Lilith try to peep in the doorway and see Massa Humphrey walking up and down, Miss Isobel sitting by the window with her pink fan out.

— Age and reason have nothing to do with the colonies, Master Wilson—

— Humphrey, please, Miss Isobel. I despise formality almost as much as I do superstition. Goddamn it! Goddamn it all! Are there no ministers here, no priests? How in an age of Christ could so many be swayed by this. . this darkness?

— It flows in them like blood, Master. . Humphrey. I daresay it comes as natural to them as our lord and saviour is to us. I find the whole thing ungodly, but a wise master would do well to understand their ways. Even use them.

— Whatever on earth are you saying?

Miss Isobel look away. — Pardon me, my folly. This is not a matter as such that a feeble woman can solve.

— Oh, posh, Miss Isobel, I am an enlightened man of the age. I insist on your counsel.

Lilith hear footsteps. Robert Quinn stomping to the room, him hat in him hand. He change shirt but it so white and loose that it look like another nightshirt and he tuck in only the front. Quinn walk past Lilith, not looking at her. Then he stop and turn around. Lilith quick to look away.

— What news, Robert?

— Like a herd of cattle they are, he say and step inside. — One says he saw this black coffin dashing down a path — with wheels, mind ye, like a carriage and driven by three vultures, then glory! ’Tis as if all have seen it. There was simply no talking to the fellow. ’Twere as if he’d seen the devil himself. Had to whip a few within an inch of their lives just to get them back to work.

— Damn! What is this then — Obeeyah, you call it? Is it like voodoo, Robby? Is it like that gypsy business we saw in Venice?

— Looks like stupid nigger superstition to me, that’s all it is.

— This is not some nigger All Hallows’ Eve, sir, Miss Isobel say. — It’s a tad more serious than that. I’ve seen an entire estate go to a standstill over their superstitions. They took it with them from the dark continent, you know.

— Well, all I need is me trusty whip to flog some light back into their thick skulls, Quinn say.

Lilith watching. Massa Humphrey still walking up and down and don’t see Robert Quinn getting redder and Miss Isobel almost smiling when neither man looking at her. Lilith can’t bear to think ’bout herself so she think about Miss Isobel and why she smiling and hiding it. Robert Quinn say something about setting an example before it gets out of control and that’s only way to eradicate it.

Lilith looking in on them with all her eyes and hearing them with all her ears so she didn’t hear him until he clear him throat behind her. Lilith jump. She turn around and see him green eyes first. Lilith drop the fork. Him still tall but thinner than she remember in the cellar and he didn’t bother to take him hat off. Him head bobbing and him neck loose and he seem weaker. But Jack Wilkins was like them animal who just because him weak don’t mean him not vicious. This be the first time Lilith see Jack Wilkins since she hear that he be her papa. He look at her like he didn’t know. Or mayhaps she think he look at her like that. Mayhaps she did want to see something else in the green eyes, something that say she was more than just a slave and him was more than just the man who fuck her mammy. For sure he must know who she be, even if he didn’t see her in the cellar. He looking down on her, she can feel it.

— You can never eradicate Obeah; you might as well eradicate the niggers themselves. But you can make your own Obeah seem greater, Miss Isobel say. Robert Quinn snort. Massa Humphrey looking outside the window, him hands behind him back.

— Are ye suggesting, ma’am, that we fight witchcraft with withcraft? Is that what yer suggesting? Quinn say.

— And she would be right, Jack Wilkins say as he step past Lilith.

— Nobody asked for yer presence or yer opinion, sir.

— And when I need the permission of an Irishman, rest assured I shall ask for it.

— Enough, both of you, Massa Humphrey say. — What are you saying, Miss Isobel?

— This Obeah, it may seem to be about spells and witchcraft but it’s really about their religion, potions and poisons. Even if these dim blackies believe that it’s more than that.

— And how do ye know so much of their ways? Quinn say.

— The real question is how do you know so little, sir.

Robert Quinn stomp over to Massa Humphrey, saying, Humphrey! Then whisper the rest. Massa Humphrey nod him head over and over until he say no loud enough that everybody hear. — I shall hear what else Miss Isobel has to say, Massa Humphrey say, but he look at Jack Wilkins, who was looking around the room and smiling like he seeing a whole bunch of things he know too well.

— But Humphrey, this is laughable. We’re men of science, men of reason. Might as well be gypsies if this is to be.

— Used to have your kind in chains before we switched to niggers, Jack Wilkins say.

— I would like to see ye try it, ye son of a bitch!

— Enough, Quinn! Massa Humphrey say.

— And how do you suppose we deal with it? Book learning? Science? That’s lost to the negro. Might as well be the Dark Ages in the colonies, and you’d do well to think as such! Miss Isobel say.

Quinn look like he about to slap her. Instead he turn and leave.

— Oh, Robert, don’t be unreasonable, Massa Humphrey say.

— Reason? Reason left this room a long time ago. Me, I shall trust to a good head and a better whip. Now I’ll take leave of ye and yers, Quinn say and walk out. Lilith dash over to the table and rub a fork with her apron. Quinn see her and stop. He look at her for a while but then storm out.

— Let him go, Jack Wilkins say.

— Far be it from me to take orders from you, Jack Wilkins, Massa Humphrey say. — Miss Isobel?

— Yes, I know, I know, I’m too wise to their ways, but to be master over the niggers means having an intimate knowledge of their every move. You cannot sleep for a second, is that not so Mister. . Wilkins, is it not?

— Quite indeed, ma’am. Quite indeed and yes.

— Now. Have you heard of the French Obi?

— No, can’t say I have, Massa Humphrey say.

— This is the West Indies, Master Humphrey. We do things differently here.

Before the noon hour, three niggermens see a woman with some stick shove in her hair and shout that she goin’ home to work Obeah. They grab her, was about to beat her when one of the men’s calf explode. The slave-drivers look and whoop and holler when they see that it be Jack Wilkins. They run to him, one of them even kiss him on the cheek and say, Wilkins, ya goatfucker! As me lives and breathes, to which Wilkins say, And you won’t be doing the likes of both much longer if you don’t git you goddamn paws off me, McClusky, ye sodomite! He then turn to the field niggers, including the man who just lost half of him foot and bawling like a little girl.

— Cursed hypocrites, the lot of you. Scared y’all are of the Obeah when it’s set against you, but mark my words — you still goes to Obeah woman to work some shit against each other, yes you do, Wilkins say. Then he gather the drivers and tell them what to do.

Two hours pass before all over the estate slave-drivers whip out tallow candle from the great house and stick it on a fence, or stump, or table or ground or anywhere in the field that every slave could see it. Halfway down the candle they push a nail right through. The drivers light the candles. The cane field couldn’t be more quiet if everybody was dead. Driver try to whip the slaves back to work but it be of no use. The candles burning for a good while and soon burn down to the nail. — Miss Isobel? She tell them ’bout that? Homer ask Lilith twice. Two time she nod yes. — Light a candle on them, she did say. Light a candle on them.

One candle did set in the kitchen by Miss Isobel herself. Robert Quinn see it and hiss. Lilith wonder if something was goin’ happen to her, if Andromeda spirit was going come back and pick up the candle and fling it at her and catch her dress afire and burn her to ash. Pallas drop a pot and Lilith jump. Lilith look at Homer, who look at the candle. Lilith don’t know much ’bout the spirits but know that Homer practice Myal, the blood enemy of Obeah. But both Myal and Obeah deal with so much darkness that even nigger from the Africa sometimes don’t know which is which. Lilith wonder if they would catch Gorgon. Lilith wonder how much lash it would take to loose up Gorgon mouth. Lilith wonder if she thinking too much ’bout herself and not Andromeda pickney and what it mean that she do.

Out in the field the candles burn. Field niggers gone back to work but they quiet and the breeze whispering around them. Then a woman drop to the ground like she having fit. Another one, stumpy and fat, start to run, chattering balderdash that nobody can understand. In another field a niggerman start to bawl out and rush to the candle to put it out. Another man grab the candle and fling it in the field. Dry bush catch fire and the drivers had to be quick to whip niggers put it out with water from the pump. The man try to run into the bush but a driver take him time and aim, then fire. The man drop flat in the dirt. Before any candle burn down to the nail, seven womens and five mens all get catch doing one thing or the other to put out the flame. Massa Humphrey don’t spare none of them the whip. But he leave such matters to Jack Wilkins and niggers did done forget how he wicked and nasty. Wilkins have the driver tie them down to the ground instead of hanging them up and he drip pig fat on them. Then he set fire to they pussy and cocky hair, all the time chatting judgement which he say come from the good book of Leviticus. Then he have the drivers whip them chest and belly and back and face till they can’t scream no more. Wilkins then shoot one of the mens in the head as example to the others. Miss Isobel watch the whole thing from the terrace even after Massa Humphrey say he had seen enough.

Wilkins lead some drivers to one of the womens house. The Johnny-jumpers take one look and run outside and not even the threat of a whipping could get them to go back. The hut dark and clammy and smell like an arse. In every crack or corner or section of the roof the woman have rags hanging. Old rag, new rag, torn rag, some of them be osnaburg but some be other material from dress that white woman wear. She also have hanging bunch of feather, bone and things that nobody could say. One of the drivers kick open a clay pot and a stink rise up so gruesome that one say that is stillborn babies she keeping in there. No wonder I’s never seen a puss in these lands, one of them say when they fish out a rotten one. In another clay pot be all sort of ball that make out of dirt, some rolled up with teeth and bone and feather and rags. In every corner of the hut she have brown and green jars. Wilkins shake one and see dead lizards spin around. A driver find an old jewel box and give it to Wilkins. Under a table by the window there be a small chest and inside be plenty eggs, too small to come from fowl. Wilkins tell the drivers to burn the hut to the ground. With the niggerwoman in it. They bound and gag her so that nobody would hear her screaming. Later on Wilkins stomp through the house to where the massa and Miss Isobel be. He say that you can bet that everybody knew who were Obeahmen and women and this was just the beginning. Jack Wilkins start to lay down what Massa Humphrey ought to do. Miss Isobel quiet. Massa Humphrey look at Jack Wilkins and say, Good sir, you are quite mistaken. I’d sooner vouchsafe my soul to the devil than have you back as my overseer.

Jack Wilkins stomp into the kitchen but stop when he see Homer.

— Homer, I would keep it for myself just to spite the son of a bitch, but it isn’t his for me to take, is it?

— Massa?

— This, he say and show Homer the jewel box. — The mistress’s isn’t it now? I’m sure of it. That damn witch must have stolen it somehow.

— It don’t look like the mistress own, massa. This look cheap, like what whore keep.

— And how would you know? And what’s this inside, these earrings, could she have stolen them from the mistress?

— How would a field nigger get into this house, sah?

— Sod if I know, Homer, maybe she’s in league with one of you. I would press further, and you know my ways, I’d get what I was looking for, but lucky for you, for all of you, that I couldn’t care less if the Wilsons live or die. Pox on the whole fucking lot.

Jack Wilkins leave the box on the counter beside Homer. Homer open it and take out some single pearls, a ring and two earrings. Poor chile was trying to save up for freedom, it look like, she say, but Lilith grab her throat and cough and go straight down to the cellar. The earrings shine and wink and call out Lilith name. The same earring she give Gorgon two days ago.

11

EVERY NEGRO WALK IN A CIRCLE. TAKE THAT AND MAKE OF it what you will. A road set before every negro, from he slip through the slave ship or him mother pussy, that be just as dark. Black and long and wide like a thousand year. And when a negro walk, light get take away from him so he never know when he hit a curve or a bend. Worse, he never see that he walking round and round and always come back to where he leave first. That be why the negro not free. He can’t walk like freeman and no matter where he walk, the road take he right back to the chain, the branding iron, the cat-o’-nine or the noose that be the blessing that no niggerwoman can curse.

Blood spurt on her face and wake her up. Lilith gasp and clutch her cheek. She scream in her hand when she feel the wetness and can’t see nothing. She look around blind and whimper until she remember darkness. The wetness, sweat mayhaps. She run upstairs to wash yesterday off, wash off the blood that she can’t see but know is ’pon her in some way, but gather herself as soon as she in the kitchen. Sun don’t rise yet, nor the house with it. Lilith slip through the kitchen and disappear round the little hill. She come up to the garden house but don’t see Gorgon. She look left, then look behind her and step before looking in front. Lilith walk right into Robert Quinn chest.

— Holy Jesus Christ, she say to herself.

— Good heavens, our resemblance is uncanny, Robert Quinn say. Robert Quinn grab her two hands and study her. Not hard, but firm. Lilith try to look at him but him eye open too wide and they too grey, him hair too long, him nose breathing down on her too hard. Lilith look away and him look at her. He hold her for a long time.

— Homer’s in the kitchen, if you’ve forgotten where to look, he say.

— Yes, massa, Lilith say. He still holding her two hand.

— Unless yer looking fer somebody else, he say.

— No, massa!

— Have a hankering to do as ye please, do ye? Disobey yer masters and treat a day as you see fit? Who waits fer ye? This is the second time I’m running into you.

Lilith in fear and trembling ’cause the Irishman be watching her. Lilith about to say, No! Me didn’t want to kill her! Me only did want her too sick to work! But she couldn’t say nothing. She look out into the sky and see the moon threatening to come and expose her.

— You enjoy being a house slave, do ye? Robert Quinn ask.

— Yes, yes, massa, Lilith say.

— And do ye think you’d enjoy the field?

— No, massa.

Then he grab her. By the chest right in the scoop of her bosom. He grab her hard with some of him fingers in between her breast and make a fist in her dress. Lilith shriek. Robert Quinn start to walk and pulling her behind him. He stride so wide that Lilith have to skip to keep up. Lilith start to cry. She look at him black hair blowing and him shirt hold tight under him vest and see the whip hanging from him belt. He dragging her and she buck her toe against a rock. She cry out but he don’t stop. He take her back to the same flower shed but Gorgon still not there. Lilith want to bawl out No, massa! No, massa! But words failing to leave her lips. He yank her in the middle of the shed and she stumble.

— I’ve told ye how much I dislike the idea of niggers gallivanting as they please. Shall I send you to the field, then? Perhaps a spell in the boiling house?

Quinn pull the whip from him belt. It long and black like a thin dead snake.

— I sense something about ye, an insolence, an insolence, damn it, and I’ll not have it. I’ll not have it at all. Pull down your dress.

Lilith looking down on the ground.

— Pull down that feckin’ frock or I’ll rip it off! And God be damned if ye get another!

She pull down her dress and her two breast pop out. The dress fall to her waist and eventide blow a cold breeze on her back. She hide her breast with her hand and look at the ground. Robert Quinn look at her. Lilith don’t say nothing. Robert Quinn look at her like he expecting something but Lilith look at the ground, her cheeks wet. Tears escaping, but she not sobbing or bawling.

— Yer just a child, Robert Quinn say.

In the kitchen everybody quiet and working. Massa Humphrey and Miss Isobel taking a late luncheon today so everybody moving slow. Lilith race down to the cellar before she could run into Homer. But as she reach the final step she smell mint and lemongrass.

— Can never find what I looking for in this cellar, Homer say. Homer back to Lilith as she search the shelf.

— Sugar jar empty upstairs, Homer say.

— A sack in the side room, Lilith say. Ants get in when it put on the shelf.

— Good thing you using you head, one ants in Miss Isobel tea and is a whipping for sure. Homer turn to go in the room.

— What other use you puttin’ you head to? Homer ask.

— Me don’t know—

— You don’t know what you own head be doing? Maybe it gone free while you still slave. Anyway, make me find the brown sugar that Miss Isobel like. Uncanny, eh? You think she’d like white sugar the best. But she be white woman so she get what she want. Not like black woman, eh?

Lilith don’t say nothing. She check if her cheek wet.

— Maybe is ’cause you part white, that why you not understanding black talk. Or maybe ’cause you part white you think you must always get what you want too.

Homer go in the room and say something else, but Lilith couldn’t hear.

— What? Lilith say.

Homer come back out with the sugar.

— Me say, the thing with black woman, though, is that we don’t get what we want and we never get what we need, but every nigger, I mean every nigger, get what she deserve.

Homer leave her downstairs.

— Potato not goin’ peel itself, she say.

Lilith look down at her feet and see blood pooling. She have to blink it out of her vision. She hear Andromeda daughter screaming and turn around, lookin’ to see where she be. Nothing but darkness. Lilith go over to her mat on the floor and stoop down, her head heavy and not together. Slave death is nothing new and a strong nigger learn to walk past it but Lilith look down on her own hands and keep seeing blood. Lilith wishing and begging that she can call up the white part of her, the part that can bear with killing a nigger like is nothing. She still hoping that her white half, her green eyes, can save her from her own looking glass that don’t hang on no wall. To kill a nigger is like to kill a horse, she think. She invoking the white skin to come up and bury the black. She toil in the kitchen the whole day not seeing how all the niggers excited. It be Christmas Eve.

So much fussing go into New Year’s ball that everybody near done forget Christmas. Nobody goin’ take ’way Christmas from the field negroes, though. While the massa and the mistress and her friend in the house eating at table, the field negroes be putting on them good trousers and good dresses that only wear couple time a year. And they cook banana and yam and pork that is present from the massa. And they boil the cornmeal in banana leaf till it thick like pudding, and cook down the chopped coconut with plenty sugar and molasses until it dark, thick and sweet. All them things they lay out on a big table not far from the great house ’cause is the one time o’ year when field negro can step anywhere near where backra live. Negroes eating and talking and playing and gallivanting ’cause this one day negro can forget that he be negro.

The banjo playing and the women commence to singing.

Moonshine tonight

Come make we dance and sing

Moonshine tonight

Come make we dance and sing

Me deh rock so, you deh rock so

Under banyan tree

Me deh rock so, you deh rock so

Under banyan tree

Then the mens and the womens commence to dance like white people at the ball. The mens in one line and the womens in one line. The mens rock then the womens rock. The mens spin then the womens spin. The mens tap one foot then the womens tap they foot. The womens stick out they hand and the mens take it. Then they spin. Woman and man at the back of the line join hand and skip to the front of the line.

Lady may curtsy

Gentleman may bow

Lady may curtsy

Gentleman may bow

Me deh rock so, you deh rock so

Under banyan tree

Me deh rock so, you deh rock so

Under banyan tree

Then the next woman and man move to the front and so on. Massa Humphrey love the excitement, he run down the verandah and join with a niggerwoman and dance. Then he see Miss Isobel fanning herself and go back to the verandah. New Year’s be white people time but Christmas belong to the negro.

Then the drum thunder. John Canoe be coming. The pickneys jumping in excitement. The drums beat louder and a man and three woman start sing, I want to go-oh, I want to go-oh-oh. Then the negroes be dancing, but this not be no white people dance. Womens make ulelele and click-clack sounds with they mouth. Man grab a woman from the back and waltz her. Then John Canoe appear. He be wearing a red and white jacket with tails all the way down the ground. He be wearing white breeches, pink stockings and he face paint white like white girl dolly. On him head is a great house so big that he have to hold it with one hand. But him legs free. John Canoe dance and spin and then he sing, I want to go-oh, I want to go-oh-oh! and the negroes sing it too and the drummer beat the drum and player pluck the banjo.

Behind John Canoe come all sort of people in costume. Two horse head with petticoat body that look like rainbow. Two mens dress up like pregnant womens, in pink dress with no petticoat and wearing white mask. Man that cover from head to toe with strips of cloth put together so tight that they look like man who wake up one morning and all him hair grow to the ground. Then come the king, the little boy with a big crown who carrying him sword to kill all in the dance. Miss Isobel and Massa Humphrey and Robert Quinn and the chaperone clapping. Homer singing to herself. Lilith behind them doing nothing. Every now and then she look at Massa Humphrey. Every now and then she would look up and see Robert Quinn lookin’ at her. Lilith turn to go back to the kitchen and see Gorgon going round the back of the house. Gorgon see her and run.

— Gorgon!

Gorgon try to run, but she short and couldn’t get far.

— Leggo me hair, dutty bitch! Gorgon scream.

— You is a wicked, wicked dog. Me never tell you say me want the woman dead, me say me want her gone, Lilith say.

Gorgon laugh. — Me no tell Obeah woman how fi work. What yuh think? Me was goin’ do it meself? Yuh drinkin’ mad puss piss?

— You tell that, that damn woman say me want Andromeda dead.

— Me no tell her a damn thing. Woman never even know who yuh be, or Andromeda. All she do is call the Omolu. Is fi you heart it listen to, not fi me or fi she.

— What you saying, bitch? Lilith say.

— Dis bitch saying dat if yuh never want Andromeda dead, she’d be living right now. Omolu give you what you want in you heart, not what you say to me face, Gorgon say.

— Me never want her dead.

— Say dat over and over till it turn into sankey and yuh soon start believe it. Now leggo me fuckin’ hair before you start spit pussy blood too!

Lilith let her go and watch Gorgon run off down the little road at the back of the house and disappear in the Christmas colour. Lilith trying to not ponder. She did come with guilt pack tight like a bundle of clothes to throw on Gorgon, but Gorgon throw it back on her. She turn round to go and there, waiting behind her be the Johnny-jumpers. Lilith try to run but everywhere she turn, she run into a Johnny-jumper chest that heave from shouting and cussing. Every turn she make, a hand grabbing for her hair or her neck or her titties. And they shouting and cussing. Lilith too frighten to look at any face. She just want to get away from the bare chest and nasty hands. And they cussing. They calling her murderess and witch and pussy-eye and they chests and they hands get closer and closer until one hand round her neck. Lilith hear a woman cackle but no womens be in they number.

— You’s thinks you was goin’ gets ’way after you kills me brotha, you cow? he say.

He shorter and fatter than the others. Him hair plait in two and curl under him ear like ram goat horn. Niggers still making up ruckus and the Christmas celebrating take up all the air so no room left for a scream. Lilith thinking that mayhaps if she imagine that she is Circe and if they don’t beat her too much she can make the sounds that Circe make and do what she hear Circe doing. Mayhaps the first punch would knock her out and she wouldn’t have to feel anything and she would wake when they done or when the last one pull out. Or mayhaps she would wake up and they would be long gone and Homer would clean her and tell what to do with her pussy now that man force her to become woman. Mayhaps after this they would leave her alone and then she can walk without looking behind her and maybe Homer won’t leave her in the cellar no more and maybe the massa would see her and maybe she would know what freedom be for the niggerwoman. Mayhaps the way to go from this very day to the next wasn’t around, nor above or behind, but through. Through this. Lilith close her eye to take what God goin’ give her. The hand still round her neck and the Johnny-jumpers still laughing. Lilith thinking that if she be an agreeable niggerwoman things might end up better for her. She think that she thinking the way big woman supposed to think. Big woman who get wise about what every niggerman want. Not looking at any of the mens, Lilith pull down her dress so that her bosom pop out. The goat-horn nigger slap her.

— Whats you’s doin? We no comes to fuck you. We comes to kills you.

The goat-horn nigger grab Lilith by the wrist and start to drag her away from the sound of Christmas. Lilith trip and fall and the man drag her same way. Lilith feel the dirt scraping her skin and every stone cutting through her dress. Every time she scream it vanish into the Christmas. She claw the man with her nails and he turn around and slap her ’cross her face. Lilith bawling. Her foot kicking up dust. Round behind a tree he stop and pull her up. The goat-horn nigger pull out a dagger that sharp till it pointed. — Ah goin’ tek you titty shove in you mouth and you tongue shove in you arse, he say and scrape Lilith chest. The other niggers follow but then the goat-horn nigger stop. He buckle over, taking Lilith with him, and start hack and cough. He let go of Lilith and she can’t move even though she crying. Then he clutch him belly and vomit burst like waterfall from him mouth. He stumble and roll in the dirt.

— Lef me alone! Lef — L–Lef me alone!

Lilith frighten as she watch the man rolling ’bout in the dirt like he getting kick by the devil.

— Lef me alone! Lef me alone! he say.

The other Johnny-jumpers step back slow from Lilith, then when they a good distance, run off. The goat-horn man stop coughing and get up. He look at Lilith and spit. He cough again and stagger off, tripping two time before he can run. Lilith look round for her, but see nobody. She run back to the house and hide in the cellar.

Six day till the New Year’s ball. Robert Quinn don’t feel like goin’ in to town to rouse the slave trader for new negro and Miss Isobel don’t have time to train any new negro on how to wait on people of refined social graces like the governor and Lady Nugent. One morning Lilith wake up to find a blue uniform beside her mat. Homer be waiting on her to wake up. — Andromeda bigger than you, so you better beg Pallas to take in the waist and hem the foot, she say and leave Lilith alone. Lilith look around the cellar, then she grab the dress like is her own pickney. Lilith jump up and put the dress to her chest and hold out the sleeve like a woman hand and commence to waltz. Not until she spin the third time that she see Robert Quinn watching her from the top of the stairs that lead down to the cellar.

— Pleased the dress meets yer approval, he say, then turn away.

12

SINCE MISS ISOBEL START COME EVERY DAY TO ARRANGE THE ball, Lilith don’t see Massa Humphrey much. She get up early in the dawn and brew the tea and sit and wait for the sound of him boots staggering through the kitchen. Homer and Pallas keep telling Lilith that she be woman now and Lilith try hard to understand woman things. One time Pallas was talking ’bout a field nigger name Bellerophon and she talk ’bout how her own face flush and her heart beat fast and heavy and how plenty people just look at the two of them and know that something sweet be burnin’. You just know when you see some people, she say. Something that make you know that two body be of one head or spirit, even. When a man sweet for a woman and a woman sweet for a man, even slavery don’t seem so bitter. Lilith look for sweetness every time she see Massa Humphrey and Miss Isobel together.

It come to pass one morning that Massa Humphrey walk through the kitchen door. The horse whinny and the door open but is the shouting that wake her. Lilith jump when she hear him stomp into the kitchen asking for that bewitching tea and the negress who make it. She go up the stairs to see him staggering round the kitchen, grabbing the counter to steady himself.

— Damn it, an utter mess I am! A man of the most worthless sort, he say. He steady himself by the table and throw himself into a chair.

— Quinn! Where the blazes. . where’s Quinn? Only Quinn knows… he knows what to do.

The massa ask two more time before Lilith realise that he was talking to her.

— Good lord, I can barely stand…. What hour is this, I wonder? Homer? Where’s Homer? I. . I can’t have her see me like. . Homer?

Lilith get into action. She work up a fire while the massa try not to fall back over in him chair. She listen to him talking about how he should not have gone carousing without Quinn. How Quinn is him conscience and him better man and the man who God has placed to save him from himself.

— Damn that man, he say out loud.

Lilith put the kettle on the stove and reach in Homer cupboard, the one that nobody go into, and grab the little brown sack that she think have comfrey tea. But she don’t know. Lilith perplex. A woman like Homer could have any kind of bush. Bush to make you happy or sad, sick or well. Lilith don’t know. Maybe brown be a good colour, and maybe she wouldn’t keep the evil bush right in front. Maybe she put it in front just to spite whoever come to rob her. Maybe she should just mix him regular green tea. But he slump in the chair and don’t know what to do with himself and the usual company coming for breakfast. Maybe if she help him, save him, he would look at her different. Not special, only different. Lilith thinking that she must think clearer.

— I’s gone fix you up, massa, she say, but quiet and not to him. Lilith can’t think of addressing the massa directly, certainly not without he asking first and even then the word slip out like little gasps. Massa Humphrey hair too fiery, him eye too blue, him shoulder too strong and him close-cut breeches hiding nothing. Lilith look away and listen to him breathing slow. She put back the brown sack and pull out a burlap bag. It smell of fever grass, the tea that bring peace to a troubled mind or belly. Or ginger. She hope. She put the bag back. Massa Humphrey nodding. She find tea in a purple bag next to a bottle full with white sugar. The kettle start to whistle.

Then a spirit fly up in her head and she don’t know where it come from. The spirit dance in a drumbeat like it come from the Africa. Or mayhaps it be something she remember. Or mayhaps it be something Homer say to Pallas or Pallas say to Gorgon or one house nigger say to the other. A woman get whipped or killed if they even suspect her of Obeah. But the voice was a beat that match her heart. Collect it, collect it quick, she say. When that hour come, that hour in the month, the time of womanness. Collect it in a jar and when nobody looking, mix it in him dark tea or peas soup. As soon as he drink it, he bound to love you and forsake all other. He goin’ love you till love turn him into fool.

— For the massa to drink, she say, but him already get up to leave. Lilith feel to slap herself for thinking what she not to think, but then he stagger again and grab the door before he fall. She run and put him arm over her shoulder. He heavier than she thought and they both nearly tumble over. But then she steady him by bracing her feet and they hobble upstairs. Midway they almost crash in the banister. He grind her toe with him boot and Lilith gnash her teeth to kill the yell. The next step nearly throw both of them to the ground, but she grab the banister in time. All the time he mumbling. They go, one tricky step at a time, up the stairs and Lilith wishing that Homer don’t wake up. Him arm over her shoulder and she smelling him new, smelling the massa in a way that most nigger will never get to smell. She smelling old sweat and perfume and what must be liquor after the sweetness start to sour the breath. In the room Massa Humphrey throw himself on the bed, taking Lilith with him. Lilith feel herself sink into the sheet and into him. She thinking to stay but get up when she realise he mumbling again. As she rise him hand slide off her shoulder.

— Gifted as my clothes may be, they can’t undress themsel. . he say. Lilith hesitate. Then she step closer to the bed, but hesitate again.

— Get on with it, he say louder and lift up him right leg.

Lilith not used to no boot shucking and take a long time just to get the boot past the ankle. Massa Humphrey curse and say, Turn the other w. . way, and twirl him arms until him eye start to swirl and he fall back on the bed. Lilith climb over him leg like she straddling a goat. When she finally shuck the boots off, he sit up again and take him coat off. He point to the cravat and she pull the bow and unwrap, trying not to look at him and thinking he must be looking at her when all of a sudden he lean and bury him face in her belly. Lilith don’t move. Him breath was warming up her dress. Him forehead was right under her breasts. She look down at him wild hair that tempting, begging, commanding her to touch. He go to fall back in the bed and she catch him by the collar. She pull the blouson over him head and try to not look at him chest. Lilith wondering what a woman to do with a man right in front of her. He lean back down on the bed and pull down him breeches himself. Like many a young white man who get season in the colonies, Massa Humphrey don’t fuss with underpants. Massa Humphrey climb on the bed and fling himself between a mountain of pillow.

— Good night, Lilith, is it not? Lilith? the massa say underneath the pillow.

— Y-yes, massa. Lilith them call me.

— Lilith. Liiiilith. Liliiiiiiith. Good ni. .

— Good night, massa, Lilith say and leave the room.

Lilith try not to think too fast, too fast for the negro head. Lilith-Lilith-Lilith he say. He take her name, make song. He know her now. He say her name under the pillow. A whisper before sleep like her name be what come before peace. He call Lilith by her name three time. And he knew who she was in the kitchen and ask for her. And he look at her different, like he regarding a fine bird. And he look longer, so longer that she have to look away first. And he don’t talk to her like he talk to the niggers in the day, but perhaps that just be him dawn voice. He know her name. Lilith slip down the stairs back to the kitchen, drunk on something else. Opapala in you, the goddess of hunger, she hear a voice say and look round for Homer.

Nothing.

Now for this whole day Massa Humphrey mother get back sense. And the woman angry like God at Sodom! Is three day before the New Year’s Eve ball and Lilith hoping Miss Isobel arrive soon to get some of the wrath. Miss Isobel and her chaperone coming late for breakfast. Massa Humphrey, who she put to bed mere hours ago, still sleeping. The mistress up and running round the house wondering who put up these wretched green grotesqueries all over her house. Her voice spitting sense and anger but her near-white hair wild and her dress musty from never been taken off in weeks. She shout to Homer that there was no way a slave could have dared without permission and that she will flog the insolence out of the slave herself, even if it is Homer. Homer fan away her smell and tell her that it be Miss Isobel Roget from Coulibre who come over and change everything on account of the mistress being sick.

— That slattern Laeticia Roget dispatched her daughter here? To do as she chooses in my house? In my house? the mistress say. She furious now.

— We shall see about that! We shall see about that! the mistress shout. The mistress walk ’cross to Massa Humphrey room and don’t bother knock.

— Humphrey! Humphrey! Get up this instant, she say. Plenty negro be near the door to hear the hataclaps.

— Humphrey! Humphrey!

— Mama? Oh sweet heavens, Mama, are you well?

— Clearly not! If this is still my house!

— Have a care, I beg you. Not so much noise.

— I shall be a shrieking harpy if I choose. How dare that hussy’s daughter, that Frenchwoman, come into my house and change my things. Is she the mistress of this estate now, is that how you will have it?

— Good heavens no, Mama. How could you even ask such a thing of your son? You were ill and indisposed and rather than cancel the event, I—

— You had her come and change away as she saw fit.

— We haven’t changed everything, dear Mama.

— Then pray tell me, why is there such an insipid green all over my ballroom?

Massa Humphrey sigh.

— Forgive me, Mama, I have been truly remiss. But we had it on good authority that the governor’s wife absolutely despises blue. Surely you would expect us to be rid of it? I know you would take no pleasure in offending her ladyship.

The mistress stop huff and puff.

— I shall not bring any French flavour to my ball, Humphrey. I suppose next you will be marrying the Creole.

— Mother. I beg you, Massa Humphrey say and climb out of the bed.

— Good heavens! I see you sleep in the French fashion nowadays. And your poor mama!

She turn away from her son, but look a little.

— Oh, Mother, I daresay I didn’t leave your womb in tails or breeches, he say. She don’t say nothing but watch him go to privy.

— Now if you’ll excuse me, I have matters of a natural function to take care of. You will join us for breakfast, won’t you, Mama?

— Why, yes, thank you. Such a wonderful son have I, to invite me to breakfast in my own house. Next thing I know, I’ll be getting an invitation to tea as well. I shall endeavour my very best to attend then, shan’t I? the mistress say.

— That is all your loving, undressed son asks, Mama, Massa Humphrey say and close the door to the privy. The mistress huff and puff all the way down into the kitchen.

— I suppose soon you’ll be marrying the Creole! she say in that whisper when people really want you to hear what they say.

Lilith and Homer setting knife and fork on the table for breakfast. As she set down a fork at the head of the table, Lilith look at Homer.

— You set Obeah ’pon the Johnny-jumpers? she say.

— What?

— Me say if you work Obeah ’pon the Johnny-jumpers.

— Listen, chile, I don’t practise no black magic on this premises and anybody who say different goin’ deal with me.

— You forget what you do with Circe? Me don’t believe you.

— Well, me chile, me never care what you believe yesterday, and me don’t care today, but who’s to say how me goin’ feel tomorrow, eh?

Now that Andromeda dead, Lilith take over her place in the dining room when the massa family eat. These days, Miss Isobel at every breakfast because the best work get done in the early hours, she say. Every now and then, Massa Humphrey will lose sight of the Miss and just call her Isobel, but nobody notice except Lilith.

Everything ’bout white people circle round bedroom, ballroom and dining table. The dining table near as long as two carriage and the wood dark like night. The edge curve around like circle and carve up with leaf and flowers in the wood. There be twelve chairs round the table, fourteen when extra company come calling. Homer say the cup, saucer and plate come from England. The last time anybody broke a dish was a slave girl back in 1784 and she get whip so hard she couldn’t lift butter after that. Homer stand behind the chair at the foot of the table. Lilith and the other kitchen negroes stand beside each other on the left and right side. Supper can sometimes take up to ten course plus coffee, cake and nuts, but most times breakfast much simpler, with just one course of everything served at once. When the massa and family come in the room, the negroes pull out the chairs for them to sit and put the napkin in them lap. The negroes commence to serve. Lilith on the left side near the head of the table where the massa sit. But one of the mens pull out the chair for him. The chaperone grunt. Lilith remember her.

At the breakfast, the mistress chatting up plenty. She don’t even eat much.

— I’m afraid we’ve not had the pleasure, Mr. Quinn, and my son seems to have taken leave of his manners, if not senses, she say.

— The pleasure is mine, Robert Quinn say and kiss the mistress’ hand like he didn’t meet her four time before.

— I’ve always had a soft spot for the Irish, even after that sorry business when you joined forces with the ghastly French in that ridiculous insurgency.

Robert Quinn look like he ’bout to choke. Miss Isobel put her fan to her mouth.

— A tiny fraction of me countrymen in County Mayo as it was, ma’am, and dealt with they were, he say.

— And how pleased I am to hear it. And you, young Miss Isobel, tell me how is your dear mother, Ludmilla?

— My mother has long been dead, ma’am. My stepmother, Laeticia, is quite well.

— Laeticia, Ludmilla, posh. At my age one loses track of the many merry wives of your father.

Then the mistress ask Massa Humphrey why he not in London for the season.

— Nowadays nobody takes the season seriously until March, Mama, he say. — Besides, with all that’s to be done here I would not have much time indeed.

— Such a tragedy for you, for you’re still young. In mind, at the very least. Ah, the season, I’m too old for such thoughts now, but when I was a young lady of betrothal age, I daresay I managed to win a husband after only one season. Ah, the times, the balls, the suppers, how other women were envious! And a West Indian planter, said my mama. I insist that you go back to London at once, Humphrey!

— But Mama, my place is here, with you.

— A young gentleman has no place with a West Indian woman. That is all I am now, I’m afraid.

— I shall never leave you alone, Mama.

— Please. To be a woman in the West Indies is to be alone. Isn’t that so, young Elizabeth?

— Isobel, ma’am.

— I’m too old to remember or care, unfortunately. Anyway Humphrey, the season is the only chance you’ll have for an ideal wife, of some decent breeding. I insist that you ship yourself off at once. And you, Mr. Quinn, are you married?

— No lady has blessed me with her hand yet, ma’am.

— Really? Has my house become a haven for young bachelors? Surely there must be a maid or serving girl somewhere who seeks to be made into a decent woman.

Robert Quinn don’t say nothing, but look at Massa Humphrey, who sigh and nod. Everybody perplex. The mistress will remember which woman was wearing dress with pink lace trim and how it cause scandal back in 1779, but she will forget that her husband dead. She still talk to him. The mistress will know ’bout man things like war and how much slave must cost, but will forget that she must go to the commode to piss. And Homer used to think that the mistress be in her room writing letter until one day she pick up a page and see that she writing list. Nothing but list. List of name, list of animal, list of number, list of Bible chapter, list of list. And more list. Something of the mistress’ mind lost in her room.

Soon everybody talking ’bout Saint-Domingue. Miss Isobel say it be a colossal, bloody tragedy on account that she still be having some sort of cousin over there.

— My family is at least half French, you know, she say.

— I think that makes you the enemy, Miss Isobel. Now speak true, are you a spy? Massa Humphrey say. They laugh like two little pickney up to mischief. The chaperone grunt like she be the mama. Robert Quinn don’t say nothing.

— Serves those bloody Frenchies right, the mistress say. Too slack, that Code Noir. Way too permissive with those negroes. I swear, give a negro a free hand and he’ll rub it all over you.

Massa Humphrey look at him mother hard. — What do you know about Code Noir, Mama? he say.

— More than you know about French-British relations, she say and look at Miss Isobel.

— Either way, it’s a calamitous business, Robert Quinn say. — If we’re not careful we’ll be heading the same way.

— Whatever do you mean, Robert?

— Come now, Humphrey, he say and see the mistress and Miss Isobel glare at him. — Really, Master Wilson, Jamaica is about as stable as gunpowder in a kitchen.

— Quinn, I’ll not have you scare the ladies needlessly. Surely it’s not as bad as all that, Massa Humphrey say.

— Not as bad as all that? Are ye blind or stupid?

— Mr. Quinn! I’d thank you to remember your place, Miss Isobel say.

— Oh I’m well aware of it, ma’am. It has been made quite plain to me.

— Quinn, enough. As I said, I will not have you frighten the ladies, Massa Humphrey say.

— I’m not as easily scared as all that, Miss Isobel say.

— Master Humphrey, there has been a major uprising every year in this colony for the past five years. Montego Bay is still in ruins after being burnt down five years ago. I say, every month there’s one conspiracy or another.

— Indeed, and the regiment always rises to the occasion. They dealt with those sorry niggers in Trelawney only a fortnight ago.

— Regiment indeed. Pansies, the lot o’ them.

— Gentlemen! Surely there’s another forum for this kind of talk? Miss Isobel say and nod in the direction of the negroes. — And you, Mr. Quinn, show some decorum if you’re capable.

Quinn face get red.

— We’re the envy of the colonies, Montpelier is, Massa Humphrey say.

— Besides, Mr. Quinn has not even been living in Jamaica a year, certainly not long enough to judge these things, Miss Isobel say.

— Trelawney damn near—

— Quinn, Massa Humphrey say.

— Pardon me. Trelawney almost became an African state in seventeen ninety-eight.

— What has gotten into you, Quinn? Is it some Irish propensity to exaggerate?

— Goes along with the British tendency to disregard the obvious, I’ll wager.

— One is either British or brutish, as far as I can see, Massa Humphrey say. Quinn, him face still red, don’t say nothing.

Everybody watching the two. Lilith watch the two man as both they skin get red. She watch the two man as they grip the knife and fork harder and talk lower and lower through grit teeth. Lilith watching man acting like how man act when chain not round him neck or scar on him back. Lilith think soon one goin’ leap after the other and they goin’ fight like wild animal on the floor. Lilith smelling expectation and it smelling like sweat. Lilith look at what she not to look at in way she not to look. Homer hiss and jolt Lilith. The chaperone not messing with man argument, she want more chocolate cake. Her third slice. Lilith nearly miss the plate because Massa Humphrey slam him hand on the table. The chaperone grab the plate. Robert Quinn hold him two hand up in the air.

—’Tis a fact, it is. As plain as day. The ratio of whites to negroes here is the same as Saint-Domingue, Humphrey, Robert Quinn say.

— And we have far greater control over them than Saint-Domingue, Massa Humphrey say.

— I hear the streets are covered in blood over there, Miss Isobel say.

— French blood, Robert Quinn say, and she look at him in a way that would shrivel the fountain statue.

— Well, I suppose now that you will have nothing to do with all things French, you have clearly resolved to a life of no French kisses, sir, Miss Isobel say.

Massa Humphrey blush. Then he laugh. Robert Quinn smile a little. The chaperone say, It must have been the wet nurse who taught you such vulgarity, dear, and everybody laugh some more. Everybody laughing so much that nobody see that the mistress did gone far back into herself. Not until she scream.

— One hundred pounds, not fifty! One hundred pounds, not fifty! One hundred pounds, not fifty! the mistress say.

Homer and Lilith hear her first. The others still rocking back and forth from what the chaperone never mean to be joke.

— How many times must you be told! say the mistress. This time everybody quiet.

— Tell us what, Mama? Massa Humphrey say.

— One hundred pounds, not fifty, one hundred pounds, not godforsaken fifty, the mistress say and throw away her fork.

— What hundred pounds, Mam—

— Oh, to hell with it all, you were never really cut out for slave affairs, selling a healthy buck for fifty pounds. I truly wish you were a man, Patrick! Sometimes I truly do!

Massa Humphrey shut him eye and grab the edge of the table hard. Robert Quinn and Miss Isobel look away. Only the chaperone didn’t know what the story was.

— Who’s Patrick, madam? she ask.

— And what business have you to be inquiring about my husband? the mistress shout. The chaperone shrink. Massa Humphrey look at Homer.

— Patrick! Get down here this instant! Patrick! Patrick! the mistress say.

Massa Humphrey face bury in him hand. The mistress quiet for a little bit, so quiet that the wind start whisper in the window. But then she scream. And scream and scream again. Robert Quinn leap from him seat, but Massa Humphrey head still hiding in him hand. The mistress start flap her hands like they be wings that can’t fly and tip back with the chair. Lilith rush first and catch the chair, but the mistress coming down so hard that they fall to the floor anyway. Homer rush to the mistress to pull her up but the woman in hysterics, screaming to butcher the horse that kill her husband. Miss Isobel hand in her lap and she staring at the tablecloth. The chaperone too. Robert Quinn throw down him napkin and go over to the mistress, Homer and Lilith. Robert Quinn reach down to help but Homer shout out to give her air and him pull back. The mistress’ head fall back in Lilith lap and she still like a corpse.

— Take her away, Massa Humphrey say.

The mistress room look like evening even when is noon. Lilith go to pull back a drape but Homer shake her head no. Robert Quinn and Homer put the mistress to bed, but as soon as she hit the sheet she wake up. She weak. She saying word that don’t sound like no word. Then she look over and see Lilith.

— Who are you, one of Jack Wilkins’ bastards? she say. Lilith don’t know what to say. She look up and see Robert Quinn looking at her. The mistress nod off. Then her eye open again.

— I will not see my son betrothed to a Creole half-Frenchie costermonger’s daughter, she say. Not on my life, such as it is. . Patrick! Is that you, Patrick! Put a stop to this childish nonsense and come out of the closet! Patrick! Patrick!

Homer tell Lilith and Robert Quinn to go, for she will deal with it and it not right for a lady to be seen like this. Quinn open the door for Lilith and she step through queer-like, her hands touching her shoulders. Outside the door be Massa Humphrey.

Robert Quinn say Homer is taking care of her but Massa Humphrey cut him off by raising him hand.

— I will not hear you speak ill of the French when Miss Isobel is around, Quinn, Massa Humphrey say.

— Maybe you’ve forgotten, Master Wilson, that we’re at war with the French, Robert Quinn say. Massa Humphrey walk away. Lilith watch him leave, following the creak in the new boot, the colour of the new breeches, to the waistcoat that shine, to the hair. She turn and see Robert Quinn looking at her.

13

THE BALL COME. LILITH READY. BY HER LONESOME LILITH hem her dress, since Andromeda was taller, and take in the waist, since Andromeda was fatter. The needle and thread she thief from Homer. Lilith don’t have no real sewing skill, not even after fixing the mistress’ petticoats on several occasion, so the hem uneven and the waist too narrow. Homer watching Lilith and not saying nothing. Sometime Lilith see Homer watching her and cut her eye. Lilith ’fraid of what Homer itching to say, but Homer don’t say a peep. Andromeda daughter now so crazy since her mama dead that Massa Humphrey sell her to a white man from Kingston who judge how plump her pussy be before he judge her face.

Two night in a row, Lilith wake up and see a woman watching her. The first night she go to scream but catch her mouth. She first think it be Andromeda in the shadow but this woman thin. Her hair wild and natty and her skirt spread wide like bat wing. Lilith can’t make out the face. She don’t see no eye, only the blackest black. When she leave something visit Lilith mind and don’t leave for the rest of the day. Six tell six tell six, she remember the cave and the words like a chant.

— Stop come near me bed, she say to Homer the next day.

Homer hiss.

— And you funeral frock don’t scare me neither, Lilith say.

— And why me would a-come to a mix-up nigger bed, girl chile? she say. Lilith hiss too, like she don’t believe but she know that Homer too proud to lie to any negro girl who beneath her.

The following night Lilith didn’t sleep, thinking that the woman was some sort of dream witch that wouldn’t come if she stay awake. Lilith pace round the cellar and count wine bottles and stomp the dust out of her mat and search the cellar for rats with the tallow candle. She listen as the great house go to sleep. She try to stand up but her blinking getting longer and heavier. Lilith go upstairs to the kitchen to wash her face and look around. She lift her dress to wipe her face and the night breeze make her legs shiver. Lilith cover herself and turn to leave but at the doorway be the dark woman. Lilith jump back and her head clap a pot hanging over the counter and that pot hit another pot, that hit another pot and set off a ringing like Sunday church bells. Lilith grab after the pots, her heart beating hard as she wait for somebody to wake up. She fearing and hoping somebody wake up. Nobody. At the cellar doorway, the dark woman gone. Lilith stoop down to the kitchen floor, watching the doorway. Tiredness and fear fight for so long that as soon as she close her eyes she would jump up, giving herself a fright. Tiredness soon win. Lilith fall asleep on the kitchen floor.

Morning come and Lilith realise that she wish she had somebody to talk to. Certainly not them six woman who did want her to join them. Some she don’t see since that night, but others when they see her act like they don’t know her, even Gorgon, who only nod when nobody else looking. Even Pallas, who work right beside her in the kitchen and sometimes had a good word, don’t say nothing no more. One time Lilith go outside to throw away water and see Iphigenia passing by in a coffle of artisan slave that Massa Humphrey rent out to the Worthy Park Estate. Even on the way to the hot sun, Iphigenia still cover up in long sleeve dress, still wearing neck scarf. Iphigenia look right through Lilith like she make out of breeze. Lilith tell herself that she don’t care, she goin’ change her heart to wood. But she perplex. Is hard work after all, hardening heart for nigger and then softening it every time Massa Humphrey pass by.

Cooking commence from early in the morning. There be mutton and pork to roast, ham to bake, beef and fish to stew, chicken, duck and goose to fry, and crabs to pickle. There be bread yam to sear, plantains to boil, pawpaw sauce to stir, potatoes to steam, carrots and cabbage to chop. There be chocolate batter for cake, flour and corn for pudding, cheese to slice and wine bottle to wash off from the cellar dust and rum and whiskey to get from the liquor merchant. Pallas boiling the soup. All of a sudden the kitchen go off in silence, one negro then another, except for one of the mens who ears hard. Homer slap him shoulder and the man look up and shut up. Miss Isobel in the kitchen. Lilith look behind her for Massa Humphrey, but she come by her lonesome. She walk round the kitchen looking over what cooking. She nod and smile when she see the cakes cooling and put her fan to her mouth when she see the chicken get pluck.

— Mornin’, mistress, one of the mens say and bow down real low. She nod.

She check the lamb shoulder and the pork loin and she check the greens, touching things light, then wiping her hand on a kerchief. Miss Isobel ask for a spoon and go over to where Pallas cooking. She dip in the pot and blow over the spoon, then she sip a little. Pallas in fear and trembling. Miss Isobel face screw up and she spit in the pot.

— Ghastly! Positively ghastly! More salt than in the Dead Sea, she say. You’ll have to begin again, surely, she say and leave. Pallas perplex. She cook the same soup the same way, two time a week for the past three year. Homer raise one eyebrow.

— Do what your, I mean the mistress tell you, Homer say. Pallas go to pull off the pot but Homer nod no.

— Put in three potato to suck up the salt, chile, and add two spoon of sugar, she say. Everybody look ’pon Homer, but Homer just go on with what she doing.

Lilith like how her dress fit even if she can’t breathe right. Christmas is for nigger and New Year’s Eve is for backra, but Lilith not hearing that. Because of the night before, Lilith doze off to sleep in the kitchen. She peeling potatoes and almost cut her finger, for her head elsewhere. She want to go to the ball and that be white people affairs and she not white but mulatto, yet at Montpelier mulatto no different from nigger. Lilith want to go to the ball and impress Massa Humphrey but she not sure what that mean exactly. Perhaps she too young and not ready for woman things and Massa Humphrey don’t take too kindly to young flesh. Lilith tell herself that she want to see what the white womens goin’ wear and see how the white womens goin’ look and hear how white womens laugh in the colonies. She think of white flesh and black flesh, that really be brown flesh by blood and the two flesh melt into one flesh that don’t know colour. Then Lilith wonder if she dreaming because dreaming is one thing God never allow negro to do. For that she blame Circe for living like a free nigger only to have the Johnny-jumper take that away. She start to blame Circe for giving her white woman expectation and hatred for negro life. Putting the blame on Circe make her feel righter ’bout Massa Humphrey. She wonder ’bout what Pallas say ’bout feeling sweet for a man. That be what she born for.

Before the evening ball come the morning church service. The negroes gather near a clearing by the field. The preacher ’fraid to go any further ’cause he not too long off the ship from Liverpool (and him heart went out for the hell-bent negroes that be on the ship) and the massa tell him that snake and leopard live in the bush. The preacher red and fat like a choking pig, but him pocket fatter from the guinea and shillings that he just get from Massa Humphrey. The preacher wearing a black hat that wide at the brim and hide him face until he look up. Him eye little and squinty and lip puck together like a dainty woman. Him jacket black and breeches grey and too tight and him crotches wouldn’t behave. The preacher burnin’ in the sun so much that him pick up that one-day-old hog smell that only white people pick up.

The negroes get preaching ten times a year. The last time was All Saints’ Day. Although they preach the same thing every Christmas and New Year’s, niggers don’t understand what a baby in the bush can do. Seem that if baby get left in manger he would scratch up, bite up and dead by the third day. But white people think this be the greatest thing. The baby grow up and they kill him, and white people think that be even greater. It make plenty sense that white people would get so much mirth and joy out of this ’cause nobody kill for fun like backra. Preacher tell nigger that God is man and baby. Then he say that God is baby in December but man only four month later. But then he say God is father and he is son and he is spirit. That sound like he breed himself to get himself, then kill himself. White man God perplexing like the white man. Then when it be Easter, they say that people kill him and then he rise up from the dead and he in heaven now. We still don’t know what all that have to do with a God. God supposed to be God of things people can be or use or be ’fraid of, like Asaase Yaa or the terrible Ogun or the Imilozi bush spirits. Preacher say there be only one God right after he explain that there be three God and look up in the sky when he say so. Some people wondering what God doing up there so long and how come he no fall down yet.

Other people pleased like puss over white man God. They not fidgeting and scratching in the heat. They not hissing or leaning on right foot, then left. Preacher say they’s goin’ get reward in heaven and they screaming and wailing and falling down on they knees saying, Thank you, Jesus! Preacher man tell them that the Bible say them to stand firm in they suffering ’cause that is they lot for being the cursed son of Noah. That Jesus don’t care for slavery but for the heart of the slave. That Jesus goin’ reward them in heaven for being a good nigger. The preacher look at Massa Humphrey as he ride pass and start sing “All Glory Be to God on High,” and start to pick up him belongings. Even as he leave and the negroes scatter some still be singing the hymn.

Lilith couldn’t wait for the preacherman to leave. Everybody have to resume the cooking and the cleaning and the preparing ’cause the ball start at seven o’ clock. Lilith go in the kitchen and see it empty, save for Homer. Lilith try to walk past her to go down to the cellar.

— What a thing, eh? Some people pleased like puss, Homer say. Lilith don’t say nothing.

— Some people in happiness and rejoicing when they should be in fear and in trembling, Homer say.

— That must be old people talk, ’cause me don’t understand you, say Lilith.

— So it go, he who don’t hear must feel after all. Lord knows what happen when a nigger girl not satisfied with her lot, Homer say and walk away.

Lilith still for a little bit. Then she hiss and go downstairs. Lilith say that she is big woman, but when she put on the dress she feel the most girlish. She don’t have no looking glass, but in the silver tray she lookin’ just fine.

Five o’clock. All the negroes have to assemble except the cooks, who getting everything hot and ready. Homer standing by the soup that Miss Isobel spit in. She have all the negroes line up for Miss Isobel to inspect. Four fat negro woman in the line, follow by Pallas, another woman, Lilith, then three mens. The women in white frock with black skirts that spread out ’cause for the first time they wearing petticoat underneath. Everybody hair push back in a cap that Miss Isobel sketch herself. Only Lilith dress showing bosom, which make some people look twice. Miss Isobel step in to look over the negroes. She don’t say nothing, but she nod to Homer and leave. They soon hear a horse whinny. Miss Isobel gone back to Coulibre to dress in what Homer call her finery.

About an hour later Massa Humphrey and Robert Quinn come back home from horse riding. Homer at the door to tell both that they so late that they must be going to some other New Year’s Eve ball. Massa Humphrey remind her that that kind of talk begging for a whipping, but Homer say nothing. Robert Quinn whisper sorry to Homer when Massa Humphrey gone off too far to hear it.

— Send one of them to prepare my bath, Homer, Massa Humphrey shout.

— A female this time, Homer.

Lilith make a small step.

— Not you, Homer say.

Homer point to Pallas, who frown. Lilith remember that Pallas be her sister and never show any malice towards her, but that don’t stop the disliking. — Some people think 1801 goin’ be different from 1800, Homer say, to nobody.

Miss Isobel come back looking like is heaven she just come from. She float down her brougham carriage all covered in white. She take off her mob cap and her yellow hair part in the middle and pull back from her face except for two curls that spin up her cheek. Nobody ever wear a dress like this in the colony for sure. It white but white like milk, a deep colour that look like you could drink it. Right on her bosom wrap a cloth that hide and show at the same time. Look one way it white, look another way it clear to see through, look another way it shiny. The cloth go all the way around her shoulder and back. Right below her bosom there be a green ribbon that shiny like the silver. Her sleeves big and puffy and cover all the way to above her elbow. From her elbow down cover in glove that stop at her palm and show off her pretty fingers. Massa Humphrey take aback when he see her step in through the front door. The negroes take aback when they see him.

The last time anybody ever see the massa dress so gentleman-like was when he come here from England. The massa in a black coat with tails that brush the back of him knee and him white cravat cover him neck all the way up to the ears. Him breeches and stockings white and shiny but not as shiny as the black shoes he wearing, a first for him.

— Good evening, ma’am, Massa Humphrey say to Miss Isobel.

— And a good evening it is, but we’ve had this discussion before, Master Wilson. Ma’am refers to my mother, Miss Isobel say.

Three hundred guests of the most proper class and breeding expected. Confirmation come from the Earl of Warwick and Lord Cheltenham and Dowager Baroness Essex. Massa Humphrey and Miss Isobel in the hallway to greet the guests after one of the speaky-spokey negroes announce them. Some of the white people think it peculiar, but they say how much they admire a planter who could manage to get so much refinement out of a negro. Miss Isobel mother and father come. Is years since they come calling to Montpelier. Massa Roget come in black like he in magistrate clothes with long white curly hair running down him shoulders like woman who ready for bed. The mistress in white looking near like her daughter. Governor Nugent and her ladyship late. Robert Quinn come to the ball dress up in him old navy uniform. The gold button shine ’gainst the dark blue and gold fringe cover both shoulder. Him breeches light grey and him boots black. Quinn come alone.

Andromeda was the one who get the training so it hard for Lilith to keep up. She moving too slow with the dishes, walking from right to left instead of left to right when crossing the room, and bouncing into two negro already. Watch where you goin’, fool! one of the womens say when they go back into the kitchen. By now, the ballroom full with people. The governor and Lady Nugent come and every white man and woman try to meet and make friend. The governor look like he just come to the island, which mean to say he whiter than everybody else, and redder too from mosquito bite and sunburn. Him eye so blue that it look like they come from water. The governor dress like Massa Humphrey except that him breeches blue, stockings white and him shoes little and shiny like woman shoe. Him brown hair cut short with curls all over him face, as is the latest fashion. The governor smile with everybody, but Lady Nugent look around mostly at the negroes. She didn’t stop looking at negroes the whole night, especially the mens every time they talk. The womens all gather near Lady Nugent to see what a woman of peerage wearing for the London season. Her dress white like Miss Isobel, but the sleeve and the sash blue. Lady Nugent nose so straight that when she raise her head to look down on people, all you see is two nose hole. She talk only one time to ask some of the womens who gather what is a chère amie. One woman cough and two womens blush, but Miss Isobel say, I think she is nothing more than a consort, in the biblical sense, of course.

— A mistress, you mean, say Lady Nugent. — I see the British appetite for the common law is quite pronounced in the colonies. Permit me to say, in the few months I’ve been here I’ve seen so many bastards and so many regarding this as a natural state of affairs that I have begun to doubt the legitimacy of my own children! Lady Nugent laugh, but only Miss Isobel laugh with her.

Massa Humphrey ask Governor Nugent, How was your first Jamaican Christmas? The governor look like he just smell fresh shit.

— I’d fain forget this infernal island sooner than later. That much I will offer, he say. — This was my first Christmas without sleigh bells. But, dare I ask, is it true that wedding bells may be in the offing? Surely I will not be denied some entertainment soon?

Massa Humphrey face turn red and he say that he would have thought Spanish Town so exciting that nobody would have time to concoct rumour.

— Exciting? If there is only one thing I’ve come to understand about the colonies, my dear man, it is that one does nothing here but wait. That is all.

The governor go on to say how he grow up hearing about the exciting exploits of Jamaica but he was disappointed that he didn’t run into a single buccaneer yet. Massa Humphrey laugh and say that when he come here he was hoping to see a mermaid. The governor laugh. Lilith watching from the hole in the kitchen door. Lilith wondering what to do to get the massa attention.

— Move along, girly, Pallas whisper behind her and push. Lilith almost trip inside the kitchen. Pallas grab a tray and go back through the door. Lilith decide to rest her feet.

— The ball pleasing you? somebody say. Lilith jump. Homer. She standing by the table pouring soup into little bowls all on a silver tray.

— Some people come late, yet they still want all nine course, she say. — Everything so pretty, me never see nothing like that yet, Lilith say.

— Yes, yes, outside nigger only see a little. Then sometimes they see too much, Homer say.

— Me not no field nigger, Lilith say.

— Must be my mistake. Forget say is in midwifery you born, not bush. That be your mama, Homer say.

— What you playing? Why you talking so now? Me hear enough ’bout mother and father fi know me no care for either.

— Me not playing nothing. Me just saying that some people born under curse. Curse to do exactly what people before them do.

Lilith stand there fidgeting, she look down at her bosom and feel like covering it up.

— The massa say anything to you yet? Homer say and Lilith look up, surprised.

— W-why him goin’ say nothing to me? Lilith say.

— Look like you be waiting for somebody to say something, Homer say.

— Me don’t know what you labba-labbaing ’bout, Lilith say.

— Eh-eh, you using word from the slave ship? Then so it must go, everybody using mouth more and more and ear less and less, Homer say. They quiet again. Homer pour soup in the bowls.

— We meeting tonight, she say. — ’Bout serious, serious things. You can come if you want to. The backra goin’ be so tired that we can meet till morning. We can help you with more reading. You remember reading? You remember the little that me teach you? Remember Joseph Andrews? Him in all sorta mix-up now, that be a fact. When we done you can even scratch out you name.

— Me already have two mama and two daddy and neither serve no damn use.

— Me never say me want to be you mother, chile.

— You finger be the last thing me want in me pussy.

Homer eye shock open and her mouth quiver. Lilith think is the first time she ever see Homer shake.

— H-h-how about, how about a fist in you mouth, then? she say, but her eyes didn’t mean it. Lilith look down like she shame. But then she raise her chin high like white woman.

— Carry these to the grand table outside, Homer say and point to the tray. Lilith stand up like she don’t want to carry it. — Make sure the governor get serve pumpkin soup, not pepper pot, Homer say and Lilith hurry up and grab the tray.

— Careful! Homer say, remember you never get Andromeda training.

— Me not no fool, me can carry a tray, Lilith say. Lilith pick up the tray and it wobble a little, but she settle it. She go to the kitchen door and one of the mens open it. — You welcome, he say and frown. Lilith sail through the door.

— And remember to offer Rogets first, Homer shout. Lilith look back and hiss.

Then she turn round.

Too late.

Too late see that Miss Isobel’s chaperone was licking her lips for more soup right in front of her. Too late. Lilith walk right into the woman and the whole ballroom hear the crash. The silver tray ram into the chaperone like a bull. The bowls shatter and porcelain cut through the chaperone dress. The soup, boiling hot, splash all over her dress. The soup spread over the chaperone neck, bosom and belly like fire. She scream. She scream again and again, like an animal, like something burnin’ in hell. She scream and fall back on the ground. Five white man rush to her. One grab a pitcher of water and try to wet her with it. Some of the white womens screaming and some look away. The mens try to hold the chaperone, but she screaming and bawling and soup and porcelain on the floor. Massa Humphrey run over and Miss Isobel rush to the woman, who jerking like she having fits. Massa Humphrey face red like God at Judgement.

Lilith couldn’t move.

Lilith tremble and she couldn’t move.

Homer run to the chaperone. — The conservatory! Quick! Quick! She say to the white mens.

Lilith couldn’t move. She looking but she not seeing, she listening but she not hearing, all the sounds come like one sound and she can’t hear nothing. She don’t even see it, when Massa Humphrey take all the rage of the lord and slam him knuckles in her face. Lilith stagger back, but she didn’t fall. Before she can even think, he punch her in the chest, then straight in the mouth and she fall and spit blood. He about to pounce ’pon her like animal, but Robert Quinn jump in and catch him first. The force of Massa Humphrey so mighty that he nearly throw Quinn to the ground.

— Humphrey! Fer the love of God, man, not in front of yer guests! Quinn say.

The girl head jerking and blood running from her nose. She bawling and coughing. She on the floor trying to get up. Massa Humphrey look around at guests all looking away. The pianist stop play. The governor whispering something to her ladyship, who hide her face with her fan. Massa Humphrey look around again, step back and leave the ballroom to go upstairs. Robert Quinn look down at the girl. Deal with her! he say to a slave-driver who dressed up, and that driver nod to three of him cohorts. The girl try to run but she weak and pain overpowering her. And she can’t see good. A slave-driver grab her by the hair and drag her outside round the back. Quinn point to the pianist and the violinist to commence playing. People talking and whispering and mumbling, but nobody leaving. Quinn go join Homer in the conservatory.

Outside, the girl spin round two times and laughter rush in one ear and outside the other. The darkness giving her nothing. She can’t make out shapes. Her left eye swell and her cheek wet from either sweat or blood. A driver they call McClusky grab her and she stop spinning. He set her good. The girl standing now but she teetering. She didn’t see it coming. McClusky punch her straight in the face, between eye and nose. The girl fall back flat on the ground and near knocked out. She bite her tongue.

— Jaysis, Charlie! Y’were s’pposed ta catch tha pussycat, y’were, McClusky say. The other drivers laugh. The girl only seeing a blur of white hands and faces and the faces have no eyes or nose or mouth. A hand grab her by the foot and drag her for a bit. Dirt scrape under her skin and rock cut up her legs. A hand grab her wrists and pull her up again.

— Shall we play us a nigger game, mateys? A right spot of ketchy-shooby? McClusky say.

— Wot says you, pussycat? he say to the girl.

— Always up for a fair sport, ye is, McClusky, say another.

— Well, mateys, why waste me time with something that me dingus can put to better use, eh?

The girl hear laughter running in and out of her ears again. Two hands grab two ankles and she try to scream through all the blood in her throat choking her. More laughter and singing, Oh, she is a gal down in our alley, now, she is the gal that I spliced nearly, way, hey, bully in the alley, down cock alley, the wench fair sally. Two hands drag her to what look like the stable. They pull her up to her feet again and start to push her from one set of hands to the other, and again and again and up and down until she lose balance with the ground and fall again. Two hand catch her. More laughter. The girl feel her dress rip off her body and cold air rush into her bruises. More laughter. McClusky say something about first and another voice say something violent. The girl hear a scuffle and a shout.

— Mince her up, a voice say.

One hand grab the girl left leg and the other grab her right and pull them as far apart from each other as sun and moon. She feel the air crawl between her. More laughter. A man pull down him pantaloon and slap him cocky till he ready. He throw himself on top of her to more laughing and shouting. The girl feel the whole weight of the man crushing her chest and forcing between her legs. A man with yellow hair, straight and sour. He grab her neck and her eyes go black.

The ball still going and people still eating, drinking and merrymaking. Robert Quinn leave Homer to overseer things but Miss Isobel take over, even making Lady Nugent laugh with a comment about chère amies. Quinn gone with the chaperone to a doctor in Spanish Town. Massa Humphrey lock himself in the bedchamber and don’t come out. The girl on the ground in the stable not moving, the dust making more sound than her.

14

HOMER SQUEEZE BLOOD OUT OF THE RAG AND DIP HER HAND in the bucket. She squeeze some of the warm water out and rub Lilith face careful. She touch Lilith neck, then forehead. She wipe the dirt and dry blood from Lilith mouth. Lilith between asleep and awake. She sputter little bit, then cough. Homer look up and search round her quarters. One candle burnin’ in the room with a dim orange glow. The light make the shadows jump. Lilith on Homer bed, which used to belong to Massa Humphrey when he be a little boy, but he never did come to the estate to sleep on it. Now Lilith on the bed as Homer washing her. Lilith eye open. The right one. The left eye swell and shut. She start bawl.

— Hush now, girl chile, hush, Homer say. Don’t make them give you reason to cry more.

Lilith see shadows on the wall moving. There be more womens in the room. Somebody fussing with her foot but she too weak to move. Bitch too heavy, Gorgon say. Lilith feel Gorgon touch her and jerk.

— Her body have seven or eight bruise but nothing broke. But is like dey was tryin’ skin de gal neck, Gorgon say.

Homer cut some sinkle-bible plant stalk and scrape the clear jelly out of the middle. It cool and tingle like mint. First she rub some on Lilith face, then neck. Gorgon rub down her breast and Lilith flinch. Gorgon scrape some jelly out of a stalk and rub her belly. They roll her over and Lilith bawl out. Homer and Gorgon rub her. Pallas and Iphigenia on the lookout.

Miss Isobel is the last guest to leave. Quinn come back that night cursing, since the hotel in Spanish Town didn’t take too kindly to mens of Irish descent.

— Ye’d think I was a bloody Jew, Robert Quinn say to nobody, although Homer be in him quarters.

— What news ’bout milady, massa?

— I have no knowledge, unfortunately. Doctor Willhew would have her stay the night. He may move her to Kingston tomorrow.

— Lord have mercy.

— How does the lass? he ask Homer.

— She do as well as the lord allow, she say.

— Maybe that’s not as good a thing as ye think.

— Sah?

— I’ve witnessed this in him before, that Humphrey Wilson. More than once and ’twas not a pretty sight. Not at all, but I’ve said too much.

— Lawd Jesus.

— Vicious thing, that temper of his. Quite mean. I’ve seen him unleash it on many in Europe, even those of the fairer. . There was this time… Good God! I am remiss. Go now; I shall not discuss this with the likes of ye.

— She deserve it, massa, Homer say.

— Aye, ye’ll get no argument from me there. Couple estates in this very colony she would have been shot for what she had done. I hope the lass is made of strong stuff.

— Pardon me asking, Massa Quinn, but strong for what? Homer say.

— Because of this, this episode, woman. She brought out the absolute devil in Master Wilson and he’ll never forgive her for letting him show it. Alas, she has been whipped and disciplined by the driver and that should be enough.

— Whipped, massa?

— Well, what was the lass expecting, a wee spank on her little arse? A firm fifteen lashes she had coming for starters, maybe twenty.

— No, massa. They…

— What did they. .?

— Massa. .

— Speak up, woman, what’s holding yer tongue?

Silence come between the two. Quinn jaw drop.

— Good God, certainly they did not…

— They do what one expect from a man, massa.

Robert Quinn jump up and march to Homer quarters. Homer rush behind, almost having to skip to catch up. Quinn march right up to Homer room and push in the door. Gorgon jump up and Callisto leap through the window. On the bed, blubbering, was Lilith.

— Jesus Christ, Robert Quinn say.

Morning sun come and wake Lilith up. One eye open wide and the other just a little. Lilith not knowing where she be and start cry again. Nobody not there, so she make the breeze hush her. Lilith hear a screaming but see nobody in the room. Lilith hear again and see herself seeing the chaperone. Lilith shift in the bed and yelp as her shoulder burn. She start to cry again and see the dark woman in the corner of the room. Homer? Lilith whimper, but the dark woman don’t move. Lilith close her eye tight, then open them again. The dark woman gone.

Lilith see moonlight and think the day silver. She see sunlight and think the night yellow. Some morning she see Homer touching her face, some time she see Gorgon or Pallas or Iphigenia and flinch. The room close up and in the dark she think she see the dark woman but is only Callisto, looking up to the ceiling and whittling with her knife. She close her eye again and wake up to see Pallas.

— Is, is morning? Lilith say.

— Still night, Pallas say.

Lilith don’t say nothing.

— Is me did find you, Pallas say. — You lucky too, ’cause dem cum was all over you. Me clean you off and wash out you pussy before me call Homer. You remember that, Pallas say. She pull a green pawpaw out of her apron and cut four slice with a knife.

— Now eat this, she say.

Lilith don’t want to eat or talk or do nothing with she mouth.

— Eat it!

Lilith eat one slice and go to spit. She put back the rest.

— Listen to me. Plenty man rape you tonight. One of them seed must did get in you. So you goin’ eat the green pawpaw until up in that womb clean out, you hear me? Don’t have no dutty stinking white pickney.

Lilith eat the rest.

— You eat. And you goin’ eat for the next couple day. Week and month if you have to. And if anything leave you pussy, just catch it in a cloth and tie it up and hide it. Don’t look, girl, me talking to you! Don’t look at it, you hear me? Don’t look at it.

Lilith don’t say nothing. Pallas open her mouth then, like she ’bout to say something, then don’t. She turn away from Lilith.

— Fuckin’ backra bastard sons of bitches. Sometimes me think the only reason they give me this goddamn one-bullet musket is because so much of them deserve kill that me could never make up me mind.

Lilith try to look at her.

— Enough goin’ soon be goddamn enough, she say and gone in the dark before Lilith notice she stop talk.

Homer upstairs by Massa Humphrey door, hearing Robert Quinn tell Massa Humphrey that most of the broke-up porcelain did stick through the chaperone clothes but never cut her flesh. But the soup did burn her skin raw, her neck and bosom something awful.

— And good show, Master Humphrey, how gentlemanly of you to act like a wild beast in front of your guests, Robert Quinn say.

— Oh, don’t you get all British with me, sir, Massa Humphrey say.

— I fear ye’ve driven them all away. I’m as British as ye’ve got left, Quinn say.

— Lord in heaven, I thought this sickness was gone. I swore t’was the result of some malodorous European air, Robert. I’ve been doing so well these few years, haven’t I? Haven’t I? Massa Humphrey say. Quinn nod.

— Goddamn!

— Humphrey.

— Robert Quinn, you’re here to save me from myself, he say. — I haven’t forgotten Venice, and that woman. This is why I have never whipped slaves, Robert. I swear to good graces, I don’t know what malcontent comes over me, he say.

— Nor I, Quinn say.

— Is my standing in society quite ruined?

— Oh please, sir, yer a rogue quite like meself and that ye shall always be. Yer no better, no worse than the Prince Regent himself. I daresay yer standing was quite awful to begin with.

Massa Humphrey look stern at Robert Quinn for a good while, then laugh a little.

— Goddamn, Robert, I feel this thorn is in my side for good.

— Well, thank heavens for virtuous women whom ye shall drive yer thorn into. And Miss Isobel? Robert Quinn say.

— Isobel! Isobel! Dear Isobel! She is furious, quite furious. At the slave and at me. Curious, she wants me to apologise for my. . explosion but she also thinks the slave has not been disciplined enough. I shall endeavor to satisfy her as is in my power, Massa Humphrey say.

— There is another matter, Humphrey, Quinn say. Yer man McClusky figures into it. He figures into it very badly. Seems he and the others had a fair bit of sport with the lass. She’s near half-dead now from look of things.

Massa Humphrey don’t say nothing for a while. Then he look straight at Quinn.

— Her misfortune then, is it not? he say. Quinn stunned but he say nothing. Homer listening.

— She’d have wished herself dead had I gotten to her.

— Good heavens, man, hasn’t she had… a saving grace, I reckon then, that she’s not from Venice.

— You’d do well to remember who issues the bank notes around here, Robert Quinn, Massa Humphrey say.

Homer burst through her door and light explode in the room. Ache fly up in Lilith head and she shut her eye tight. Lord have mercy, lord have mercy, Homer say. Homer run to the back of her room and pull open a trunk. She dig in and pull out a piece of red cloth wrap tight. She tear it open and coins fall out.

— Lilith, get up! She say. Lilith awake but she asleep.

— Lilith! Listen to me when me talking to you, chile, now get up, the devil waiting.

— Lilith!

Homer go over to the bed and pull Lilith. She bawl out little bit, but get up. She wobble. Homer hold her up by the door. Homer wrap the coins in the red cloth and shove it down between Lilith bosom.

— Now listen to me, chile, Homer say. Lilith start to blubber and Homer slap her. Lilith bawl out again.

— Shut you mouth and listen! Round the back of the mill be a passage, it don’t look like no passage sake of no carriage pass round there no more, but look good and you can still make it out. Go down that trail and turn at the river, you have to run through the river so that you lose you smell, so the dogs, Lilith listen! So the dogs can’t follow you. Then come back from the river, don’t cross it, come back and go south. Continue south and you’d soon see a hut. Stay there till nightfall when me send for you. You hearing me? Stay there! Stay there till we fix some other—

The door swing open and slam against the wall. Robert Quinn step in. Homer quiet herself and step back.

— Take those off, he say.

Lilith don’t know what he mean.

— Take those off at once! Robert Quinn say. Homer and Lilith never hear this voice before. Robert Quinn don’t wait. He go over to Lilith, grab the dress by the bosom and pull. The dress rip and Lilith two breast tumble out and coins sprinkle ’pon the floor.

— Lawd o’ massy, have mercy ’pon the chile, Massa Quinn. Have mercy, Homer say and run toward him. She touch Robert Quinn shoulder and Quinn strike her hard, so hard that she stagger back.

— Don’t assume familiarity with me, woman, Robert Quinn say. Homer touch her chin, her eye wide open.

Lilith pull down the rest of her dress. Her waist wrap with white cloth. Her neck have so much bruise that it look like a quilt. Lilith did turn into a full woman and nobody knew. Her body beat down and her eye still swell, but her breasts strong and pointed. The two stand up where her eye would have. Robert Quinn see. Robert Quinn get to see that nigger flesh will find even the slightest thing to stand up, even a maggot-full, rotten chop-off foot. Robert Quinn grab Lilith by the hand and push her out the door. He go to the doorway but swing around quick.

— Do not follow, Quinn say.

— Me remember where me place be, massa. Me and the tea, Homer say. Robert Quinn pause for a little, then step out.

Outside, three Johnny-jumper grab Lilith. One grab her two arms and the other grab for her foot. A third negro, short, fat and squat, move past her foot and grab Lilith pussy. Lilith kick him with her free foot. The squat negro go to thump her but a whip crack across him back and put a stop to that quick.

— Shall I be whipping one nigger this day or two? Robert Quinn say.

To the right of the great house be a cotton tree where all the negroes gather. This was three days after New Year’s Day, and white folk and nigger folk have different expectation. Massa Humphrey sitting on the terrace with Miss Isobel. The two negroes carry Lilith to the cotton tree. She struggling and she bawling and she screaming. Work stop and all the negroes gather to watch. Some of the womens don’t look. They bind Lilith hand tight with a long piece of rope. A Johnny-jumper throw the long end over a high branch and the other two pull her up. Lilith scream again. Homer don’t leave her room. Lilith muttering and chattering. Some of the negroes look at her like somebody they just remember to forget. Robert Quinn nod.

— This be for the uppity nigger who be thinking he or she can be hurting the massa and him folks. This be proper disciplining right here so, the fat squat negro say. Robert Quinn nod again. The taller negro curl out the whip like a long animal tongue. Bullwhip. Negro rather burn from the breath of Satan than get that. Miss Isobel looking. One or two nigger smile when they see Lilith back smooth for the last time. The tall negro swing and the whip lash Lilith straight cross her back. Lilith scream so hard that she cough. The negro lash her again. Lilith struggling ’gainst the rope and her legs swing wild like hanging man. Some people watch her face, some watch her breast, and some watch her arse and pussy. The negro lash Lilith again and her eye start to go back into her head. The new pain wake up the old pain that the massa done give her. She bawling like a girl, not a woman, and she screaming. The negro swinging the whip wide and it curl round her back and slice her breast. Robert Quinn go up to the tall negro and slap him head with the thick end of the whip.

— The back only, ye stupid coon, Quinn say. Some laugh as the negro thank Quinn for the lick. Lilith close her eye. Seven more lash and she stop scream. Lilith swing and the rope creaking. Thirty lash and they cut her down. She fall in the dirt and stain the ground with blood.

Lilith get ten lash every day Miss Isobel come calling, which be twice that week. Now that the ball be over, it didn’t seem proper for a lady to come too often to a gentleman house, not even a lady from the colonies. But as be the way of other things in the colony, some rules of Mother England get toss away like crinoline. Plus, she didn’t have no chaperoning as that woman take to bed even after the injury heal. She bawl ’bout her injury all the time as reason not to leave bed and Miss Isobel confess to Massa Humphrey that she was not a even a little sad to be rid of her.

Lilith know that each day getting darker and darker for her. After a week, negroes stop come to her whipping, even them that glad she get what was coming to her. Everybody just know the scream. The frighten wild beast scream that ring throughout the estate and the field and the boiling house and the kitchen, twice a week at around the two o’ clock hour. The negro scream that white people don’t hear because it never stop late lunch or early afternoon tea. A negro scream be like a pig scream. A negro scream be like a dog whistle. A negro scream be like wind. Soon she stop scream. When the time come for the whipping she don’t even need nobody to get her. She go to the tree early and raise her hands up. She stop cry and only wince when the lash too hard. She used to look in the sky, but by the third week she look straight at Robert Quinn and watch him look away. When they cut the rope, she drop to the ground and pick herself up. She stand and stagger a little, but still stand. Lilith raise her chin and walk over to her bundle of clothes. She put them on herself and Robert Quinn see fresh blood press through the old blood on the dress. Lilith don’t say nothing and go back to the cellar. Every three of four step she limp, and one time she nearly drop, but her chin still raise.

Two nights a week, six black womens go to Homer room and mix brine, comfrey and sinkle-bible to rub into Lilith back. Even Callisto. Homer and Pallas sing a song in a tongue that be known only to them. Then they sing like negro.

Fi me love have lion heart

Fi me love have lion heart

Fi me love have lion heart

Only fi you

And the other womens come in on the back of the song.

Fi we love will never die

Fi we love will never die

Fi we love will never die

Only fi you

Lilith will hear the song and feel the drum click on they tongue and heal her back. The womens light a secret fire and spirits dance on the wall. Olokun, owner of the seas and god of water healing, and even Anansi, the spider god and trickster. The womens call on Oya, the river goddess of the Niger and wife of Shango. They call on the river mama to plead to the god of thunder and lightning to cast a thunder-stone from the sky to the field and give them powers. The womens go to the river where Oshún be waiting. The time be the night, but the moon big and bright and the river and the trees dress up in silver. The womens down by the river with Homer, all who come from slave that lay with Jack Wilkins. The womens who all have white and black in they blood with the power of two.

Then later than that, Homer read to the womens and teach the womens how to read. Homer take out the book that she steal from Massa Humphrey library, Joseph Andrews. Right where the Lady Booby first try to get him to see ’bout her cho-cho, but Joseph blind to her intentions — or so it seem. But there always be a time, some time winding before daybreak when the talking slip past Lilith. When though she be amongst them, she not with them at all. Six tell six tell six. When they talking get inside every woman but she and they be conversing ’bout deeper things. She listening but she can’t hear. Homer do most of the talking while the other womens nod or say yes, but is not schooling or church. Six tell six tell six. Sometimes a word or a bunch of words would slip through like a night snake and gone as soon as it come.

— Word from Worthy Park?

— Word be dem rising but dey did have to tell couple man.

— Man. Shit. Me can’t abide manfolk, y’know. Me don’t like it.

— Dem don’t have womenfolk like we. Most of dem fool-fool or breedin’.

— You can’t trust a man.

— Homer, you worried ’bout Worthy Park? Jackson Lands worried ’bout we.

— They say that?

— Me hear it. Ever since Circe dead.

— Tell Jackson to worry ’bout Jackson and mind they bloodclaat business.

Lilith perplex. She know she seeing Homer but not sure she hearing Homer. Her eyes red like fire and her mouth too. Homer don’t cuss. Homer is Homer because she don’t cuss like common nigger. They talking ’bout other estate and she don’t understand it.

One morning Lilith feel roughness on her skin and wake up. She scream. Four or five white man with whip round they neck and no clothes all over her, biting into her skin. The whips turn into snakes. They all have straight hair, one brown, one yellow and one red, but nobody got eye or nose or mouth. Two spread her legs and jump between her. Him skin cold and scaly and the snake slither off him neck. As the snake set to bite, Lilith wake up for real.

People come to know Lilith as the woman with the quilt on her back. One day, soon before whipping time, Lilith look out the kitchen window and see two people stirring up dust as they march toward the house. Wilkins got no call to talk to nobody since the Obeah business, so most people look twice when they see him. Homer go outside to look and Lilith follow her. As they pass the kitchen, Lilith see Jack Wilkins wearing a wide straw hat followed by Mrs. Wilkins, who protesting he should not be moving about in this weather or fussing about the massa business.

Jack Wilkins limping. Him face red like beet and he lookin’ both skinny and apoplectic. Jack Wilkins don’t look at Lilith, but Mrs. Wilkins, once she see her, didn’t take her eyes off her, not until she walk right into her husband back when he stop. Lilith not sure what Mrs. Wilkins’ eyes telling her. Perhaps something that be woman things, perhaps shame or anger or jealousy or something she don’t grow into yet. The two go up the great house steps, where Jack Wilkins demand that he see Massa Humphrey.

— On what business? Robert Quinn ask, since he be on the terrace.

— Nothing that concerns the likes of an Irishman, Jack Wilkins say. Neither Lilith nor Homer see Robert Quinn face after that remark. The two go up the stairs and step inside. Nobody know what correspond between Jack Wilkins and Massa Humphrey, but they know this. After the two meet, nobody ever whip Lilith again.

Soon Lilith take to wearing clothes that look like Homer hand-me-down. Lilith look at Massa Humphrey and Robert Quinn and see the same thing. Robert Quinn see her looking at him different and don’t say nothing to her no more. One time when Lilith was passing by with rubbish from the kitchen, the same Johnny-jumpers who whip her start to mock her. Lilith say to nobody in particular that scar only make the skin stronger but there be no whip, in hand or in a pants, that goin’ knock her down again.

The fat, squat Johnny-jumper don’t know what she mean but he don’t like how Lilith get uppity as if she better than he. He ask her them same words, you think you better than me, cow?

— Me don’t know what call you have to use word like think, Lilith say. — After all, dog like you never think once.

The man jump up from him stump and the other mens stop laugh. He stomp toward Lilith but as he go to grab her, the fat squat man stop and stagger back. Him eye blaze white and he start tremble something awful. He yelp like a sick dog and run away, still yelping as he drop two time in the dirt.

Lilith foot thinking before her head. This be the early morning hour but the sun already hot and burning down a nigger back. For a long time Lilith try to not take stock of what she know, what Homer and the other womens tell her. But for the longest time, even before white man whip a quilt on her back, she feel something missing, something she don’t know if she to look for. Mayhaps a man. Whether that man be a pappy, massa or lover, she start to wonder. Maybe she just want any white man to be close. Maybe she just want something that make her eyes make sense. Lilith wasn’t expecting no more deep thinking. Her life did boil down to two things, workin’ and whippin’. But Jack Wilkins make himself present one day like he just appear out of the dust and the whipping stop. Surely, she say to herself, sure even now you know to stop read anything in the action of white people. Surely. But there her two foots be, making up they mind when her own mind not doing nothing. The foots stop. She tell herself that as for she, she would never come to this place, what with every white man having the hankering to whip her, but there she be.

Jack Wilkins’ house.

— Took your own goddamn nigger time, he say. — Neither whip nor cat’ll teach you monkeys anything about haste, that’s your tragedy.

He seated out on the porch like he be waiting for her all this time. But that be him custom from the days when he reign over the estate. Lilith look at him looking at her. Now he have no control over Montpelier, but he still out on the porch every morning, looking out and waiting for him pitcher of lemonade mix with rum, and cuss ’cause the wife can’t make it as good as Homer. Wilkins’ hat off and the top of him head bald. Him shirt open right down to the waist but him white chest hair so bushy it look like he got another shirt underneath. He leaning back in the chair with him foots up on the balustrade. Wilkins look like everybody know he old save he.

Lilith still. She at the foot of the step and can feel the dirt under her foot. The shadow from the step cool. She can’t think to say nothing so she just still. Lilith force herself to look up but he not looking at her.

— Only the almighty knows why he set me up with a woman more barren than Jesus’ wilderness, he say. — Instead, he gave me a litter of niggers. Guess it’s my fault for not keeping me sticker in me breeches, eh?

Lilith don’t say nothing.

— I remember your mother, yes I do.

Lilith look up at the man. He not smiling.

— She. . Like the bloody second plague. Never knew I could go sick from the sight of blood. ’Tis a wonder that you’re not red yourself. Why have you come?

— Me. . me. . me don’t know, massa.

— I hope ’tis not looking for a pappy to buy you gifts and marry you off to a gentleman. For if that’s what you seek, then you’re an even darker nigger than you look.

Lilith don’t say nothing. He look at her for a long time. She don’t know for sure, for she not looking at him, but she can feel him on her. Not like a pappy, though; only Tantalus did do that for a little while. He all over her like a man and she feel naked. She feel him testing her skin and prying apart her arse and grabbing to check how plump her pussy be. She feel him looking on her like a massa.

— Ever heard about me father? he say. — He would have been stunned by the likes of you, he would have. Didn’t take very kindly to the abuse of niggers, as I recall. No, an upstanding gentleman he was, given to calling niggers Africa men, if me memory serves me right. Mind you, memory doesn’t serve me naught these days.

— Weak. The son of a bitch was weak.

Lilith don’t say nothing. Her mind waiting, for what she don’t know. Her mind a-taken, like it be when she first start think ’bout Massa Humphrey.

— Lilith. Named you meself. Did you know Adam had a first wife before Eve? Called her Lilith, but the bitch was too headstrong so got rid of her, he did. Headstrong, another word for uppity. You uppity?

Lilith don’t say nothing.

— Speak up! Damn you.

— No. No, massa.

— Then why in all fuckery do you think you can come to me house unsummoned? Do you think I owe you something then, is that what you’re thinkin’?

— No, massa.

— A wicked son of a bitch, that’s what the lord will call me. Not even the devil ever met the likes of me, I’ll tell you that much. But God, there’s a sum’bitch if there ever was. Saddle me with a barren bitch of a wife and nothing but niggers calling me pappy. Your mammy didn’t want nothing in this world but for men like me to leave her be. Now I. . I couldn’t get the blood off. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get her blood off. I couldn’t get her…

Lilith look up again and see him, it seem like for the first time. He take him legs off the balustrade and try to stand up, but either he weak or he drunk or he both. He lookin’ like a man who need help. Lilith don’t know what to do. Her mind still waiting for something from him but she don’t know what.

— Begone! he say.

Lilith don’t tell nobody where she go. Not even Homer.

A morning come whereby Homer rush in the room all fussing and Lilith, who just wake and heading to the kitchen, don’t know why Homer acting the way she act. Homer head usually high and her chin straight and her voice even. But this be the second time she flutter high and low like a girl who don’t know the wise ways of woman yet. Like she ’fraid.

— What is to be done? she say. What is to be done?

Lilith don’t like when she talking that way. Like a fussy white woman.

— It must be according to your strength, Homer say.

— All they goin’ do is open up a old scar when they whip me, Lilith say.

— They not goin’ whip you, girl chile, Homer say.

— Oh, so they goin’ kill me now for sure. Me good as dead anyway, Lilith say. I know I wasn’t goin’ be too long for this world. Watch me if I don’t curse every single one them backra bastard for—

— Hush you mouth, chile. They not goin’ whip or sell you, Homer say. They sending you to Coulibre.