The Boudoir No. 6

THE DOCTORS

You maidens, and wives, and young widows rejoice, Declare your thanksgiving with heart and with voice;

Since waters were waters, I boldly dare say, There ne'er was such cause for a thanksgiving day;

For from London town,

Are lately come down,

Four able physicians that never wore gown:

Their physic is pleasant, their dose it is large, And you may be cur'd without danger or charge.

No bolus or vomit, no potion or pill,

Which sometimes do cure, but oft'ner do kill,

Your taste or your stomach need never displease, If you'll be advised but by one of these;

They have a new drug,

Which is called the close-hug,

Which will mend your complexion, and make you look snug, A sovereign balsam, which once well applied Though griev'd at the heart, the patient ne'er died.

In the morning you need not be robb'd of your rest, For in your warm bed your physic works best;

And though in the taking some stirring's requir'd, The motion's so pleasant, you need not be tir'd;

On your back you must lie,

And raise yourself high,

And one of these Doctors must always be by;

Who still will be ready to cover you warm, For if you take cold all physic does harm.

Before they do venture to give their direction, They always consider the patient's complexion;

If she have a moist palm, or a red head of hair, She requires more physic than one man can spare;

If she have a long nose,

Scarce anyone knows,

How many large handfuls must go to the dose;

You Ladies that have such ill symptoms as these, In reason and conscience should pay double fees.