The Burglar on the Prowl

Twelve

The first time I met Wally Hemphill, I'd just been arrested, which is when I have the most urgent need for an attorney. I'd called Klein, who'd served me in that capacity for many years, only to learn that, in the time since I'd last had the need for him, the man had died. You don't figure your lawyer's going to do that, and it threw me, but I wound up with Wally, who was training for the New York marathon. And I have to say I was glad of that, because I figured it would keep the weight off and the cardiovascular system in tiptop shape. It takes a while for an habitual felon to bond with his lawyer, so you want to pick a guy who's going to be around for the long haul.

Wally went on training for marathons, and running them, until he blew out a knee. Then he met a nice girl and got married, and they had a kid, and then either he found out she wasn't so nice after all, or she found out he wasn't, or the discovery was mutual. They got a divorce and she packed up the kid and moved to Arizona, where she'd apprenticed herself to a potter. "She's throwing clay pots," Wally said, "and as long as she's not throwing them at me, I say the best of luck to her."

After the divorce he'd taken up martial arts, and you can make of that what you will. It didn't stress his bum knee, and the skills he developed gave him increased self-confidence when dealing with some of his less savory clients, but the chief benefit, he assured me, was spiritual. "You've got to try it," he told me. "It'll change your life."

I'd tried running, though I never got to the marathon level, and I have to say it had changed my life. It made me feel better, and I stuck with it for a few years, and then I stopped, and that made me feel better all over again. When I've got more time, I told Wally, and he gave me the knowing smile of the spiritually advanced human being. "When you're ready, Bernie," he said gently. "You just let me know."

He showed up downtown at One Police Plaza, which is where Ray had taken me, and by late afternoon he had me out of there, and took me around the corner to a teahouse one flight up from a store that sold lacquered Chinese furniture. We sat at one of those low tables with a recess in the floor for your feet, and a little slip of a girl came over and taught us how to make tea. I'd never needed instructions in the past, I just dropped the tea bag in the cup and poured hot water on top of it, but this was a more elaborate procedure involving a pot full of water with a can of Sterno under it to keep it at the boiling point, and a whole system for making the tea in small batches which we were supposed to drink from these tiny china eyecups.

"This is the real stuff," Wally said, knocking back a quarter of an ounce of liquid the approximate color of tears. "Drink up, Bernie."

I did, and noted the extreme subtlety of the flavor. It tasted, I have to say, an awful lot like water.

"Amazing, right? And there's no place like it this side of Hong Kong."

"Really? You'd think there'd be a line halfway around the block."

"That's the thing," he said. "Nobody knows about it. Bernie, they've got nothing. That's why they cut you loose without putting up much of a fight. I mean, what have they got? They can prove you were within a few blocks of the place around the time those people were being robbed and murdered. Well, so were several thousand other people. They can't establish that you were in the building, let alone the penthouse apartment where the crime took place. I've got to wonder what Kirschmann was thinking of, hauling you in when he knew they couldn't hold you. Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"Well, unless they turn something up searching your apartment."

"They're searching my apartment?"

"'Fraid so, Bernie. The fact that they had you in custody persuaded some tame judge they had grounds for a warrant, and they're over there right now. You don't look happy. Want to tell me what they're likely to find?"

"Nothing illegal," I said. There's a Mondrian on the wall, and it happens to be an original, but everyone assumes it's a copy, and it's been hanging there for years.*My burglar tools were back in my hiding place, along with both passports, and they could make a little trouble for me if they found them, but I didn't think they would. They never have in the past.

"Nothing from the break-in last night," Wally said.

"I wasn't there, Wally."

"Just making sure. Nothing from, uh, any other place you might have been?"

He hadn't asked what I'd been doing in Murray Hill, but that didn't mean he didn't have a good idea. Not a thing, I told him, and he seemed satisfied.

"More tea, Bernie?"

"Uh, sure."

"When I think of all the coffee I used to drink," he said, "it's enough to give me the jitters. Tea's better for you, you know."

"It must be."

"It's got these compounds in it, I forget what they're called, but every day it seems they're finding something new that they do, and that's good for you. All I know is I find it invigorating. How about you, Bernie?"

"I'm invigorated," I said.

"Me too. You been seeing anybody new, Bernie? Getting anywhere in the love life department?"

I shook my head. "How about you?"

"Zilch. Between my practice and my workouts in the dojo, I don't have a hell of a lot of time on my hands. Still, the old urge is always there, you know what I mean?"

"I know what you mean."

"What I'd really like to do," he said, "is get something going with our waitress. You happen to notice her?"

"I wasn't paying too much attention."

"I think she's beautiful. The Mysterious East and all that, and those silk robes she wears drive me nuts. I think they call them cheongsams."

"Is that a fact."

"All I know for sure is I'd like to get into hers. I'd ask her out to dinner, but I can't."

"Why not?"

"She doesn't speak any English. I mean, even if I managed to make myself understood, and even if she was willing to sit across a table from a round-eyed foreign devil, what would dinner be like?"

"I don't know. How are you with chopsticks?"

"I mean the conversation, Bernie. We couldn't even make small talk. I've been thinking of learning Mandarin."

"You're kidding."

"Well, it could come in handy. The Chinese population keeps growing, and some of them need lawyers. Don't you think they'd be more comfortable with an attorney who understood their language?"

"They'd probably be more comfortable with one who was Chinese to begin with."

"You're right, dammit. The only reason to learn the language is so I could talk to the waitress. The thing is, I think she likes me."

"Oh?"

"Every time I come here," he said, "she goes through the whole rigmarole, teaching me to make the tea. And I'm here three or four times a week, so it's obvious I know the drill by now. So why go through it each time? I figure she likes spending time with me."

"That's possible."

"Well, what other explanation could there be?"

"Maybe she doesn't remember you from one day to the next, because all Caucasian guys look alike to her."

"You think?"

"Or," I said, "maybe she figures you're not bright enough to retain the information from one tea-brewing session to the next."

"You really know how to make a guy feel good," he said. "I can't tell you how glad I am I brought up the subject in the first place. Bernie, I've got to ask you a question. I know you weren't on the scene last night, you're about the least likely person I can think of to be involved in something like that, but do you know anything about it?"

"Only what I heard from Ray."

"You were never approached? Like somebody invited you in on the job, and you said you'd pass, but you'd keep mum about it?"

"What makes you think that, Wally?"

"Well, it might explain what you were doing in the neighborhood, and why you couldn't tell Kirschmann. Maybe you hung around to see how the whole deal went down."

I shook my head. "Nothing like that. I'll tell you this much, I had a reason to be in Murray Hill, although I have to admit it wasn't a very good reason. And it was something I wasn't willing to share with Ray Kirschmann, and it's not something you need to know about."

"Got it."

"And it had no connection whatsoever with the Rogovin burglary, which incidentally I wish people would stop calling a burglary, because that's not what it was. It was a home invasion, and that's something I've never been involved in."

"First thing I told them. 'If you know anything about the man, you know it's not his style.' "

"And nobody tried to recruit me for it. The first I heard about it was when I got arrested for it. And if anybodyhad tried to enlist me, I'd have turned them down-"

"Just what I said a minute ago."

"-and the last place I'd have gone was Murray Hill, because I'd have wanted to be a long ways away when they pulled the job, preferably in the company of two judges and a cardinal."

"So you'd have a solid alibi. I get the point, Bernie, but let me put it this way. You know people. You hear things."

"I try not to associate with criminals, Wally."

"So do I," he said. "Present company excepted, of course. But much as I try, my line of work makes it difficult. And so does yours, so there's a chance you'll talk to someone who knows something, and if you do-"

"I could do myself some good by passing the word."

"A whole lot of good. Of course I realize that might go against your code of honor. Nobody wants to be a rat."

I shook my head. "Not where these clowns are concerned," I said. "I'd love to see the cops pick them up, and not just because they'd stop bothering me. They killed three people, for God's sake. It's jerks like that who give burglary a bad name."