The Dark Side of the Road

Four

I went tripping back down the stairs, making more noise than was strictly necessary and pulling faces at the family portraits. And then I came to a sudden halt at the foot of the stairs, where Alexander Khan had set himself to block my way. He stood his ground firmly, with a very serious face, so I stopped on the step above him and raised a single eyebrow. The best kinds of insult and arrogance are the ones your target can’t legitimately take offence at.

Khan fixed me with his fiercest scowl. ‘I want to talk to you, Mister Jones.’

‘Well,’ I said cheerfully. ‘It’s nice to want things.’

‘What?’

‘What do you want, Khan? Speak!’

‘Are you following me?’ Khan said abruptly. ‘Have you come all the way down here, in this abysmal weather, just to pursue me? Won’t you people ever leave me alone?’

I gave the matter some thought. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘I look at you and I see a face from my past,’ said Khan. ‘A man I worked beside for the best part of five years. But that was some thirty years ago … so you can’t be him. Who are you, really?’

‘You have me confused with my father,’ I said firmly. ‘A man I never knew. I have, however, heard of Black Heir through my work for the Colonel. I know who they are and what they do … And I know that the first rule of Black Heir is: you do not talk about Black Heir.’

‘I’ve been out for far longer than I was in,’ said Khan. ‘But once they’ve got their hooks into you, you’re never really free of them. I left the organization under something of a cloud. And seeing your face, so familiar … it brings back bad memories. The likeness is uncanny.’

‘So I’m told,’ I said. ‘I wouldn’t know. Take it from me, Khan: I didn’t come here for you.’

Khan looked like he would have liked to say more, but a movement further down the gloomy hall caught his eye. He saw who it was and raised a hand in something like a wave. It was Melanie, standing at the far end of the hall. She didn’t see me. She only had eyes for Khan. He looked quickly back at me.

‘You’ll have to excuse me, Ishmael. I must have a word with our hostess …’

He didn’t look in the least bit furtive as he hurried down the hall to where Melanie was waiting. Not furtive at all. I was just getting ready to wander casually down the hall myself, to find out what it was those two needed to talk about so urgently, when I saw Walter and Jeeves standing together in an open doorway, some distance down the hall. They didn’t even glance at Khan as he hurried past. They were far too wrapped up in their own business. What particularly interested me was that they didn’t look in the least like master and servant. Jeeves looked a lot more like a soldier making a report to his superior officer. Which was … interesting. So I stayed where I was and listened.

They thought they were safe, far away from anyone who might overhear their quiet words, but I can hear things at a far greater distance than most people. And no one notices me, unless I want them to.

‘The house is secure,’ said Jeeves. ‘I’ve been up and down and back and forth till my feet ache, and the whole place is closed up tighter than a fly’s arse. There’s no sign of James anywhere. His belongings are still in his room, but his bed hasn’t been slept in.’

‘I’m worried about James,’ said Walter. He was scowling so hard that it must have hurt his face, and he was wringing his bony hands together so tightly that the knuckles showed white. ‘He can’t just have disappeared! He has to be somewhere!’

‘Not in the house,’ Jeeves said flatly.

‘He can’t just have left!’ said Walter. ‘Not after making such a fuss about turning up here this Christmas, after so many years away.’

‘His clothes are still here,’ said Jeeves.

‘And then there’s his man, Ishmael, turning up out of nowhere … What do you make of him?’

‘I took the opportunity to search through his belongings very thoroughly,’ said Jeeves. ‘Almost turned his suitcase inside out looking for hidden compartments … His clothes are cheap and nasty, and his bits and pieces are distinctly downmarket — so bland as to be utterly characterless. No weapons, no interesting devices, no surprises at all. Nothing to suggest he’s anything other than what he appears. But given that he always refers to James as the Colonel, and the practised way he answers every question without ever giving anything away …’

‘Yes,’ said Walter. ‘I know. He’s too ordinary to be true. And no ordinary man could have made it all the way here from London, through this atrocious weather.’

‘Not in that piece of shit he was driving,’ said Jeeves.

‘My son would never have ordinary people working for him. Why is he here, Jeeves? Why did my son want him here, so urgently?’

‘We don’t know for sure that this Ishmael Jones really is who he says he is,’ said Jeeves. ‘We only have his word for it. Surely your son would have told you that one of his people was on his way?’

‘Perhaps he intended to,’ said Walter. ‘Before he disappeared. Ishmael is the sort of man I’d expect to find working for my son.’

‘I could always take him to one side,’ said Jeeves. ‘Beat some answers out of him.’

‘No!’ Walter said sharply. ‘No. Just … keep an eye on him.’

‘What do you want me to do — about James?’

‘You’ve done all you can.’ Walter looked down at his hands and seemed surprised to find them wrung so tightly together. He pulled them apart with an effort. He looked older, frailer. ‘We’ll just have to hope James turns up. Eh? Yes … And he’d better have a bloody good explanation when he does!’

They both went their separate ways, disappearing into the depths of the great old house. I looked quickly around for Khan and Melanie, but they were gone. Either their little chat was already at an end, or they’d decided to continue it somewhere more private. Pity … But I did spy Diana and Sylvia, standing before the front door. Diana hauled it open, straining hard with both hands to get the heavy weight moving, and then the two women stood side by side, staring out the open doorway at the thick falling snow. Diana hugged herself tightly and shivered. They thought themselves alone and unobserved, and free to speak freely; so again I took the opportunity to listen in.

‘I had hoped the storm would have died down by now,’ said Diana, ‘so we could leave. But look at it! Awful weather … Worse, if anything. I can’t even tell which of those snowy burial mounds is our car.’

‘Why do you want to leave?’ said Sylvia. ‘Aren’t you having a good time? Dropping a barbed bon mot here and a home truth there; sticking it to Walter and making little Mel squirm?’

‘I don’t seem to have the stomach for it, this year,’ said Diana. ‘Sometimes reliving the past feels more like picking at a scab. Makes me feel old … And I hate that. You know what, Sylvia? It isn’t that, not really … It was seeing that delightful young boy, Ishmael. He reminds me so much of my dear Adam, sweet folly of my misspent youth. I never thought to see his face again … I wonder where Adam is, now …’

Sylvia closed the door firmly and turned to Diana. ‘You need a nice lie down, dear, before dinner. Get some rest, get your strength back, and work on some really catty comments to throw at Mel over dessert. Come along. I’ll see you to your room.’

‘I wish James was here,’ Diana said fretfully as the two women came back down the hall, heading for the stairs. ‘I was so looking forward to seeing my son again, after all these years …’

‘I know, dear,’ said Sylvia. ‘I know.’

She helped Diana up the stairs like a nurse supporting an invalid charge. They didn’t see me at the foot of the stairs, standing in the shadows. I stayed put, leaning back against the wall, thinking. The damage I do to people’s lives, without even trying.

Finally, I headed for the drawing room. I pushed open the door and then stopped abruptly in the doorway, as I realized I’d just walked in on a blazing row. Penny and Roger were standing face to face in the middle of the room, hands clenched into fists, so caught up in their quarrel that they didn’t even know I was there. So of course I remained where I was, and watched and listened with great interest.

‘Stop shouting at me!’ said Penny.

‘I have to!’ said Roger. ‘It’s the only way I can get you to listen to me!’

Penny made an exasperated sound and made to leave the drawing room. Roger immediately moved to block her way. Penny looked at him dangerously. ‘Roger, darling; get the hell out of my way right now, or I swear to God I will kick you so hard in the groinal area that your balls will eventually come down somewhere in Scotland!’

‘What balls?’ Roger said bitterly. ‘You cut them off when you threw me over, for no good reason.’

‘Don’t be dramatic, Roger. It doesn’t suit you.’

‘You’re not going anywhere till we’ve talked this out!’ said Roger. ‘You think I want this? You think this is the way I want it to be between us? I hate this! We used to be so happy together … You don’t know how miserable I’ve been since you walked out on me …’

‘You don’t have to be miserable,’ said Penny, her voice softening despite herself. ‘Just admit it’s over. Let it go, and move on. Find someone else.’

‘Like you have?’ said Roger.

‘What are you talking about?’ said Penny.

‘I saw you; I saw you staring at that Ishmael character …’

‘Oh, for God’s sake!’

‘You never did explain why you broke off our engagement. Or why you won’t give me another chance! I can change, I know I can! You know I still love you, Penny …’

‘No, you don’t, Roger,’ Penny said firmly. ‘You want me. That’s different.’

‘I can be whatever you want me to be,’ said Roger, not even trying to hide the desperation in his voice. ‘Just tell me what you want …’

‘I will not discuss this any further,’ said Penny. ‘I have said all I’m going to say. And if you’re wise, you’ll leave it at that.’

‘I could make you want me again,’ said Roger, drawing himself up to his full height and doing his best to look commanding. ‘There are things I could do, people I know … You have no idea of what I’m capable of. No idea at all of how the real world works.’

‘And you have no idea of how a real woman works,’ said Penny. ‘Or you wouldn’t be wasting my time and yours with this nonsense. I am not the kind of woman you’re used to; the kind you can buy, or intimidate. Now get out of my sight, Roger! Before I forget the few things I still like about you.’

Roger turned abruptly and started away from her. He almost bumped into me, still standing in the doorway. He started to apologize, and then recognized who I was. His face reddened as he realized I must have heard everything.

‘Eavesdropping?’ he snarled. ‘About what I’d expect from your sort. Hear anything good? You’d better be careful, Jones. The mood I’m in, I could easily punch your head in.’

‘No,’ I said. ‘You couldn’t.’

And there must have been something in my voice, or my eyes, because Roger hesitated, and then barged right past me. And kept going. I heard him stomping up the stairs, heading back to his room, slamming his feet down like a child in a tantrum who wants everyone to know how upset he is.

I carefully closed the door behind me. Penny was standing with her back to the fire, her arms tightly folded, glaring angrily at nothing in particular. Her face was pale, apart from two angry red blotches on her cheeks. She looked at me suddenly, almost defiantly.

‘You mustn’t mind Roger. He’s finally found something he really wants that he can’t have, and he isn’t used to that. He doesn’t know how to deal with it.’

‘Some things are worth fighting for,’ I said.

‘He wouldn’t know how,’ said Penny. She looked at me, consideringly. ‘You look like you might know how to fight for someone you wanted.’

‘I don’t do that any more,’ I said. ‘I am a man alone. I live for my job.’

‘Yes …’ said Penny. ‘Working for the Colonel; dear missing stepbrother James.’

‘Yes,’ I said.

Our eyes met, and I felt a definite spark in the air. And all I could think was: No. I can’t. This is no time to be making an old mistake.

Penny moved slowly forward to stand before me. ‘James is Daddy’s only son, by his first marriage to Diana. I am Daddy’s only daughter, from his second marriage to Melanie, Mummy dearest. I inherit everything; James gets nothing. Mummy insisted, right after I was born. She made ever such a fuss until Daddy agreed to change his will in my favour. I have never been consulted in the matter. But that’s Mummy for you; she’s spent most of her life doing good for me, from a distance. And that, right there, is all you need to know about this family.’

‘How did the Colonel feel about all this?’ I said.

‘Didn’t give a damn, as I understand it,’ said Penny. ‘You see, I’ve never met my mysterious stepbrother. James left home years before I came along. Left, and never came back. He’s always maintained a strict distance between his life and that of his family. You must know him better than us … Do you know why he left, Ishmael?’

‘I only work for the Colonel,’ I said. ‘He sends me places, and I do things. Good things, mostly. Things that need doing. I’ve been with him fifteen years, and he never mentioned his family once.’

‘Is he a good man?’ said Penny. She seemed honestly curious.

‘I would say so, yes.’

‘But you’re not going to tell me what you do, or what he does?’

‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘It’s more than your life’s worth.’

‘A man of many secrets,’ said Penny, admiringly. ‘Do you work for Intelligence?’

‘Not as far as I know,’ I said.

We shared a smile and, without either of us having to say anything, tacitly agreed to change the subject.

‘There was so much excitement when James announced he’d be coming home for Christmas,’ said Penny. ‘For the first time in God knows how many years. No warning. Just a telephone call out of the blue, yesterday morning. I’d never seen Daddy so animated … Stomping up and down, waving his arms around, so happy and so full of life … And all I could think was: he never gets that happy about me coming home. But then, James has always meant more to him than I ever could. I may be Daddy’s little girl, but you know how it is, with fathers and sons.’

‘Not really,’ I said, but she wasn’t listening.

‘It’s hard to compete with the perfect memory of an absent brother. Mummy … wasn’t nearly so happy at the news. But she knew better than to try and talk Daddy out of it. Some things Daddy just won’t be moved on.’

‘How about the others?’ I said as she paused for breath. ‘How did they feel about the Colonel joining the gathering this year?’

‘Mostly curious,’ said Penny. ‘Quite keen to see this mysterious long-lost prodigal son for themselves. Diana, on the other hand … I have to say, I may be wrong, but she didn’t seem nearly as happy at the thought of seeing her long missing son again. Anyway, James arrived here late last night. After we’d all got tired of waiting up and gone to bed. Daddy stayed up, of course. So he was there to greet James. Apparently they talked for ages, and then James retired to his room. Tired out after his long drive, I suppose.’

‘So no one here has seen the Colonel, except for your father?’ I said. ‘And that was late last night.’

‘You’re worried about him, aren’t you?’ said Penny.

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Something’s not right. I can feel it. The Colonel can take care of himself against most things, but … Do you have any idea why he stayed away for so long? Was there a row?’

‘No one knows,’ said Penny. ‘Except Daddy, and he won’t talk about it. But there was no disguising how pleased he was, just at the thought of James coming home at last. Mummy wasn’t pleased. She’s always been worried Daddy might change his mind and disinherit me in favour of his firstborn, James.’

‘But you’re not worried,’ I said.

‘No … I’m not. How can you tell?’

‘I see many things,’ I said. ‘I can also tell … you don’t give a damn about your father’s money.’

‘Well, no,’ said Penny. ‘I have my own life. And my own money. I work in London, in publishing. And I’m very happy there, thank you. Mummy shouldn’t worry so much … Daddy would make sure she was looked after, whatever happened. Just like he did with Diana. But Mummy wants all this … The Manor and the grounds and everything. Being Lady of the Manor and queen of the local scene. She just loves all that.’

‘And you don’t.’

‘Frankly, darling, I couldn’t give a rat’s arse for all … this.’

I wouldn’t have thought it possible to get so much contempt into one word. Penny’s face cleared, and she smiled brightly at me.

‘I was looking forward to meeting James. My invisible half-brother. You know, he always sent me a birthday card and a Christmas card. Every year without fail, since I was a little girl. Never missed once. That was nice of him. He didn’t have to do that, for a little stepsister he never even met.’

‘You said the Colonel only spoke to your father,’ I said. ‘But Jeeves said he spoke to him.’

‘I didn’t know that,’ said Penny. ‘Why? Does it matter?’

‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘Is Jeeves your usual butler?’

‘Hell, no!’ Penny said immediately. ‘He creeps the hell out of me! I have to fight down the urge to run every time I see him coming. Daddy couldn’t get any of the usual servants to stay over this Christmas. Had to go to some agency. For a while it looked like we were going to have to fend for ourselves. I was quite looking forward to seeing that … And then Jeeves turned up at the very last minute, with Cook in tow, and saved the day. He is … very efficient.’

‘So you’ve never met Jeeves before.’

‘No. Is that significant?’

‘Beats me,’ I said. ‘I’m still getting the feel for this place and this family.’

‘And how do you feel?’ said Penny. ‘About … us?’

‘I’m worried that the Colonel has disappeared so completely,’ I said. ‘Jeeves seems very certain he isn’t anywhere in the house.’

‘Then let’s go outside and look for him!’ Penny said brightly. ‘We can take a walk through the grounds, see if he’s hiding anywhere.’

‘In this weather?’ I said.

‘Oh, we’ll be fine!’ said Penny. ‘Long as we bundle up properly. Come on; it’ll be an adventure!’

‘I have had enough of those, in my time,’ I said.

‘I could always ask Roger,’ said Penny.

I sighed, quietly. ‘I cannot allow you to inflict such a penance on yourself. All right; let us go for a stroll and brave the sub-zero temperatures together. Who knows; maybe we’ll bump into a penguin.’

‘You only get penguins in the Antarctic,’ Penny said crushingly. ‘Though I did hear something rather interesting about polar bears, on some documentary, just the other day. Apparently, when they’re sneaking up on someone, across the snowy wastes, the polar bear always raises one arm up across his face. Because his nose is jet black and would stand out against the white background!’

‘Something to bear in mind, while we’re out in the snow,’ I said solemnly. ‘Though actually, that’s not why they do it. Polar bears always raise one arm across their face because they’re pretending to be Batman. Great fans of Adam West, the polar bears.’

Penny giggled, despite herself. ‘Oh, you! Come on, let’s get you properly attired for the great outdoors.’

‘Very well,’ I said. ‘But I reserve the right to head back to the house, at speed, if certain important parts of me start dropping off.’

Penny led me all the way down the hall, to an intimidatingly large cupboard by the front door. Big enough to hold a political gathering in, while swinging a whole bunch of endangered species in an entirely uninhibited manner, and absolutely stuffed full of dozens of fur coats, along with a huge and varied selection of fur hats, gloves, and really heavy boots. No skis or snowshoes, but then, you can’t have everything.

‘Who do all these belong to?’ I said. ‘Can we really just take what we want?’

‘That’s what they’re for,’ Penny said patiently. ‘For Daddy’s guests; as required. You’ve never been to a country house before, have you? Try this one on. It looks your size.’

‘It looks like someone skinned a polar bear,’ I said. ‘And a big one, at that. Does Greenpeace know about this cupboard?’

‘This cupboard probably pre-dates Greenpeace,’ said Penny.

I took off my jacket, hung it carefully on a nearby hanger, and tried on a few fur coats for size.

Penny looked me over, with a considering eye. ‘Nice body …’

‘I can’t take any credit for it,’ I said. ‘It’s what I was given.’

‘At least you’ve looked after it,’ said Penny.

‘Clean living and a vegetable diet … are two things I’ve always avoided,’ I said solemnly. ‘Can’t help feeling there’s a connection.’

It took a while, but we both finally found something we liked; and, half-buried under fur coats, hats, gloves and really heavy boots, we looked each other over critically. Penny took in the tentative way I’d set a Russian fur hat on my head and shook her own head, more in sorrow than anger. She took a firm hold on the hat with both hands and pulled it down hard, until it settled just above my eyes.

‘There,’ she said, stepping back. ‘That’s better.’

‘Shoot me now,’ I said. ‘Before anyone sees me.’

‘You look very stylish!’

‘I do not do the style thing.’

‘You do now; unless you want your brains to freeze inside your head. It’s cold out there!’

‘I had noticed.’

We left the cupboard and approached the front door. Weighed down by our big furs, we didn’t so much walk, as waddle. I pulled the door open, and we stood together in the doorway, looking out on a pristine white world. The harsh cold hit my face like a slap. Penny squeaked loudly and shuddered, despite her many layers of clothing. I didn’t.

A light fog had descended since I arrived, pearly grey mists hanging heavily on the air, cutting off the long view. But the snow had stopped falling, and the wind had quietened down. The outside scene was all peace and quiet, and eerily serene, as though the whole world was waiting for something to begin. I stepped carefully forward, and my heavy boots sank deep into the snow. Penny followed quickly after me, slamming the front door shut behind her.

I took my time, looking around. Snow-covered lawns stretched away in every direction, entirely clean and unmarked, until they disappeared into the flat grey mists. White shapes of covered cars crouched in front of us, while indistinct buildings stretched away to either side of the Manor. Certain vague shapes further away might have been trees or hedges. Winter had laid her hand heavily across Belcourt land, as though trying to wipe out every mark Humanity had made on the landscape. The air was savagely cold, searing my lungs every time I took a breath. Penny huddled in beside me, making quiet noises of distress with every breath, looking around her with wide startled eyes, like a child taken to see Santa Claus’s grotto for the first time.

And then she grinned at me, delighted with her winter wonderland, and I couldn’t help but grin back.

‘If you see a sleigh with reindeer, grab the presents and run,’ I said.

‘The elves would take you down before you managed ten paces,’ said Penny. ‘This way …’

She led the way forward, stomping clumsily through the deep snow, and I strode easily along beside her, kicking the snow out of my way. The grey wall of fog receded before us, reluctantly revealing more and more of the snow-covered grounds. It was getting to be late in the afternoon, and an ominous twilight was descending. There wasn’t a sound anywhere, apart from the crisp crunching of our boots in the snow. Penny looked this way and that, sometimes grabbing on to my arm for support. I let her.

‘I grew up in these gardens,’ she said breathlessly, and just a bit giddily from all the effort. ‘I remember running wild in the gardens, as a small child. I used to make a real mess of the ceremonial flower beds, convinced I was helping. No one ever said anything. I was an indulged child, then. See those great shapes, there, just looming out of the fog? Topiary creatures, cut out of hedges. Looking at them now, buried under the snow, you’d never know what they were supposed to be. I can only tell because I recognize the locations. That one is a giant bunny; that is a lion and a unicorn; and that’s a giant cock. Well done; you didn’t go for the obvious comment.’

‘I wouldn’t dare,’ I said.

And then I stopped abruptly and looked back at the Manor. I could still make the whole thing out, even through the mists. I stared at the house steadily, for a long moment.

Penny looked at the house, and then at me. ‘What? What is it?’

‘I thought … I saw a light,’ I said. ‘Shining out of one of the windows on the top floor. Just for a moment. As though someone inside had opened the shutters, to look out.’

Penny stared dubiously at the top floor. ‘There’s no one up there, Ishmael. All those rooms are locked up and sealed off.’

‘I know,’ I said. ‘But I’m sure I saw the same thing when I first arrived here. As though someone was taking a look at me. Taking a specific interest in me.’

‘You think someone in the house is watching you?’ said Penny.

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I wonder why.’

Penny sniffed loudly. ‘If you ask me, it’s probably Roger. Spying on us. Let’s give him something to look at!’

She grabbed me by the shoulders and kissed me hard. I stood very still. Her mouth was warm and kind on mine, and her body was a comfort and a promise. Penny stepped back, looked at me for a moment, and then turned and waved cheerfully at the manor house.

‘Get a good eyeful, Roger?’

There was no light at any of the windows, not the slightest movement at any of the shutters.

Penny turned back to me. ‘I don’t normally throw myself at people, Ishmael. It’s just … there’s something different about you.’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘There is.’

‘I have to say, I usually expect more reaction from a man when I stick my tongue half way down his throat.’

‘I hardly know you,’ I said steadily. ‘And I will be leaving here, once I’ve finished my business with the Colonel.’

‘So?’ said Penny. ‘Carp that diem, that’s what I always say. Don’t you like me?’

‘I haven’t decided yet,’ I said.

She looked at me. I don’t think she was used to such plain speaking. ‘Is there … somebody else?’ she said, finally.

‘No,’ I said. ‘There hasn’t been anyone else for a long time now. Love … is for other people.’

‘You know,’ said Penny, ‘for someone who’s only a few years older than me, you do talk like an old man, some-times.’

‘I get that a lot,’ I said. ‘As a wise man once said: it’s not the years, it’s the mileage. Now, tell me about the other buildings.’

‘You’re sure that’s what you want to talk about?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re a mystery, Ishmael Jones,’ said Penny.

‘I get that a lot too,’ I said.

We walked on. Penny didn’t try to hold my arm any longer. She pointed out the terraced row of Victorian cottages, set out on one side of the manor house, and the medieval tithe barn on the other. Just great dark shapes now, looming out of the thickening fog. Again, no lights anywhere, and not a sound to be heard.

‘All the cottages are locked and boarded up for the winter,’ said Penny.

‘No signs of habitation,’ I said.

‘Daddy rents them out as guest cottages, from spring to autumn,’ said Penny. ‘The weather’s always too harsh, come winter.’

‘And the tithe barn?’ I said.

‘Oh, that goes way back. Fourteenth century, if I remember right. Certainly it was here long before the manor house. Just a big old barn, originally, for storing the village’s grain. And then, more recently, for storing heavy farm machinery. If you’re thinking James could be hiding out in there, forget it. No doors, you see; just two great openings, front and back. Open to the elements … He’d be frozen solid, if he was in there.’

‘Think I’ll take a look anyway,’ I said.

Penny shrugged, making a good show of indifference. I led the way, slamming my boots through the thick snow. Penny had to struggle to keep up. Our boots sank in deep, making loud crunching noises, as though warning the barn we were on our way. The front opening turned out to be an arch ten feet high and almost as wide. Great drifts of snow had blown through, covering large areas of the heavily ridged stone floor. I had to climb up and over the main drift to get inside. Penny made hard going of it, so I reached back, grabbed one arm, and hauled her up and over. She let out a loud squeak of surprise at how strong I was, and hung on to me with both hands till she got her breath back. I let her. I knew it wasn’t fair to encourage her, but I’m not always as strong as I should be.

Inside, the tithe barn was just a huge open space, deep and dark and gloomy, with long shafts of grim grey light falling through slit windows high up on the bare stone walls. Rough stone, thick and solid, rising up to a high-raftered wooden ceiling. Just a place to store things. The only way the Colonel could have survived any time in here would have been to build an igloo, and I didn’t see one anywhere. I looked carefully into the shadows, but nothing looked back. Great hulking shapes took up most of one end of the barn: ancient farm machinery, under drooping tarpaulins.

‘Ugly old place, isn’t it?’ said Penny. ‘Daddy would love to tear it all down and improve the view, but officially this is a listed building. Part of our great English architectural heritage. So we can’t touch it. Even if it is butt ugly and half as useful. Even though one good fire would do millions of pounds of improvement. Honestly, darling; just because a thing’s stood around for a few years doesn’t automatically make it a thing of beauty and a joy forever.’

I went back to the front opening to stare out over the still and silent world. Cold and white and pearly grey. Penny came to stand beside me.

‘How very peaceful,’ she said, after a while. ‘Such a shame it won’t last.’

‘No,’ I said. ‘It won’t. I can feel the storm building, all around us. Piling on the pressure till it breaks; and then the wind will hit us like a battering ram, and the snow will come down like the wrath of God.’

‘You’re not the most cheerful person I’ve ever met,’ said Penny. She put her head right back, to stare up at the iron grey sky past the rim of her fur hat, and then she looked at me. ‘Can you really feel a storm coming?’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘It’s a gift. But we’ve still got some time. Tell me about your family, Penny. The Colonel’s family. He never told me anything about you.’

‘If you like,’ said Penny. ‘I don’t mind. If you’re hoping for dirt, I’m afraid there isn’t any. Or, at least, nothing interesting. The Belcourts have lived in the manor house for generations, though Daddy will probably be the last to live here. He’s going to have to sell off the Manor soon, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. I don’t think he’ll really care all that much. He’s only hanging on now out of a sense of family duty. Mummy’s the one who’s desperate to stay on. If it hadn’t been for her, Daddy would have sold up and moved on long ago. To somewhere cheaper, and warmer. Daddy could use the money to prop up his business. That’s why Alex is here.’

‘What about you?’ I said. ‘This is supposed to be your inheritance. How do you feel about selling Belcourt Manor?’

‘I can’t honestly say I’ve any real fondness for the old place,’ said Penny. She stood staring out into the mists, her hands thrust deep into her pockets, her eyes far away. ‘And I’d hate to have the expense of running all this. The Manor’s upper floors were abandoned when I was a kid. I used to go exploring up there, even though it was strictly forbidden. Well, probably because it was strictly forbidden. I was always a wilful child. I used to steal the keys and unlock rooms at random, just to see what was in there. Searching for treasure and enjoying jumping at shadows. Pulling open drawers and peeking under the dust-sheets, making a mess … Eventually Mummy got tired of that, and all the other wilful things I did; and when shouting at me didn’t work, I was sent away.

‘I spent the rest of my childhood at boarding school and my adolescence at a very proper finishing school in Grenoble, Switzerland. From which I gained a first-class education, a posh accent, and a deep and abiding hatred for all forms of authority. I only ever got to come home for the holidays. Like being sent down to Hell, and then allowed brief trips back to Heaven. Just so you could appreciate how bad Hell was.’

She turned her head, to look at me. ‘You’re really very easy to talk to, Ishmael. You know that?’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Was school really that bad?’

‘No … But it’s the principle that counts!’ She looked back at the snowy expanse. ‘I loved the grounds here, and the luxury of the house, but I would have loved anywhere that wasn’t school. With all its petty rules, and regulations … What were we talking about? Oh yes … The family. The Colonel’s family …’

‘Yes,’ I said.

‘Daddy mostly gives in to Mummy, to keep the peace. He divorced Diana because she started looking her age, and he wanted a beautiful wife at his side. He met Mummy at a sales conference, where she was tottering around on high heels, handing out gourmet nibbles from a tray, while wearing hardly anything at all. Really; I’ve seen the photos. It’s a wonder she didn’t catch a chill. Daddy took a shine to her and brought her home with him. And just like that, Diana was on her way. Replaced by a newer model. With a good enough settlement that she wouldn’t fight it. She’s always invited back for Christmas, and she always turns up. Daddy seems happy enough to see her. Mummy, less so, though she’s always polite. Mummy is still very wary of Diana, even though she won Daddy away from her. Heavy lies the head that bears the tiara …

‘Mummy’s never felt secure here. You see, she married into wealth and position. Never had any of her own. That’s why she was so keen for me to go away to boarding school, and then finishing school. So I could have all the advantages Mummy never had. No one ever asked me what I wanted. I think I would rather have had a mother. And a father.’ She paused there, as though waiting for a comment. But I didn’t have one.

‘What about the guests?’ I said, finally.

‘Roger is a bore,’ Penny said flatly. ‘Don’t know what I ever saw in him. I think perhaps … He was just my way out of the family. Cut my links, once and for all, by marrying someone I knew they couldn’t stand. If I had any conscience I’d do something absolutely beastly to the poor boy, so he’d go away and not want me any more. But it’s so hard to be rotten to him. Like kicking a puppy.

‘Alexander Khan … gets on my nerves, big time. Always has … on all the occasions he’s invited himself here to discuss business with Daddy. Which usually seems to consist of shouting sessions in private. Alex has always cared more about the business than Daddy has. He only ever turns up here when he wants more money for this great new scheme or that. I don’t like the way he looks at me or Mummy. I keep my distance. He’s been hovering around Roger all this weekend. Don’t ask me why.

‘And then, there’s dear little Sylvia. Seems a decent enough sort. Diana collects good-looking companions to remind herself of what she used to look like before her face wrinkled up into a road map. She says having bright young things around her helps her feel young again. I say she leeches off their youth and energy … Sylvia’s just the latest in a long line, and she won’t be the last, even if Sylvia hasn’t realized that yet. She’s more fun than some I’ve known, from previous Christmas gatherings. And fun’s always in short supply, this time of year.’

‘You don’t care for Christmas?’

‘Christmas is fine; it’s the family gatherings that get on my tits. Trapped here for days on end, with people I hardly know or care about. For me, Christmas is just something to get through. Though it’s not as if I’ve anywhere else to go. Or anyone else to be with …’

‘Why do you keep coming back?’ I said.

‘Because it’s family,’ Penny said tiredly. ‘Family obligations, and all that. The blood that calls, and the ties that bind. You know how it is …’

‘No,’ I said. ‘Not really. I have no family. There’s only ever been me.’

Penny looked quickly at me. ‘Oh Ishmael; I’m so sorry. And I’ve just been prattling on … Are you an orphan?’

‘Something like that,’ I said. ‘The Colonel … James … is the closest I’ve ever had.’

‘To a family?’

‘To a father,’ I said.

I hadn’t realized I was going to say that, until I heard myself saying it. I stopped short, thinking. Trying to work out what I felt. Penny smiled, slipped her arm through mine, and cuddled up against me. I should have pushed her away. I knew it wasn’t fair, to her or to me, to give her any encouragement. As soon as I found the Colonel, and dealt with whatever business he had for me here, I would be on my way again. I’m always leaving. It’s easier on everyone else that way. Because they’re going to get old, and I won’t. Because I can never tell anyone the truth about me. Because they wouldn’t love me, if they knew I wasn’t human. And because … I’m afraid. Afraid I might not be what I think I am. That my memories, or flashbacks, might be just a cover, to hide something awful. I made a firm decision long ago to walk alone, and live alone, because that was safer for everyone. I don’t want to hurt anyone.

I walk on the dark side of the road.

I quietly disengaged my arm from hers, kicked my way through the piled-up snow drift, and strode out of the tithe barn and into the unnaturally still air. I headed past the Manor, towards the row of Victorian cottages on the other side. Penny came hurrying after me, muttering baby swear words under her breath as she trudged through the deep snow as quickly as she could. She stumbled along at my side, glancing at me from time to time in a puzzled sort of way, but said nothing. Perhaps she sensed my mood, even if she didn’t understand it. She moved forward to take the lead, and I let her. This was her home, after all. The sound of our footsteps, punching through the snow, seemed very small in the face of such a great open snowscape. Gleaming white expanses stretched away before us, heading off into the distance beyond the cottages, until they disappeared into the iron grey fog.

‘OK,’ said Penny, after a while. ‘This is just a bit odd, and not a little freaky …’

‘What is?’ I said, looking quickly about me.

‘Look at the snow behind us. What do you see? Our footsteps. A long line, from the Manor’s front door to the tithe barn, and then more, coming back. Now what do you see ahead of us? Nothing! The snow ahead is perfect, unmarked, for as far as I can see. You’d expect something … bird tracks, animal tracks … fox, stoat, badger. But there’s nothing. That’s not right, Ishmael. Unless, maybe it’s just too cold for anything to be out and about …’

‘Could be,’ I said. ‘I’ve been places where the air gets so cold, birds just freeze on the wing and drop dead out of the sky.’

Penny looked at me. ‘You’ve lived, haven’t you?’

I smiled. ‘You have no idea.’

We came at last to the long terraced row of Victorian cottages. Squat and square buildings, built from a creamy stone, with bay windows and neatly-slanting roofs. Probably tiled, under the snow. All of them dark and still and silent, as though huddling together for warmth and support against the cold. Penny looked them up and down, and sniffed loudly.

‘Pleasant enough, I suppose. Even charming, if your tastes run that way. They always look to me like they should be on the cover of some really twee jigsaw puzzle. Nothing too demanding. That big one standing on its own: that’s GravelStone Cottage. Originally intended for the Manor’s head gardener and his family. The others were for the extensive gardening staff. Took a lot of people to look after these grounds, in the days before the ride-on mower. The other servants lived in the manor house itself, so they could always be on call … But, these days, the gardening people are supplied by an outside agency, and the few house staff prefer to come in from outside. So Daddy rents the cottages out.’

She paused, so she could lean in confidentially. ‘Daddy needs the money. The family fortunes aren’t what they were. Daddy used to run the family business, and well enough from what I hear … but as he got older, he just found it all too much of a chore. He backed off and let the Board make all the decisions. They haven’t done as well. Particularly since they started listening to Alexander Khan. He speaks for the Board now. And I’m pretty sure he’s only here now because he’s trying to talk Daddy into selling off some of our land, to provide liquid cash for the company. I mean, I don’t mind! It’s not like we use it for anything. But Daddy won’t want to. Like the house, the land has been in Belcourt hands for generations. Alex is trying to get to Daddy through Mummy. They think I haven’t noticed. Hah!’

That last word came out harshly, with real anger behind it. I didn’t say anything. I did wonder why Roger hadn’t spoken to Penny about the money Khan wanted him to put into the company. It seemed like the kind of thing Roger would enjoy holding over her. To put pressure on her … Maybe the young man had principles, after all. People can always surprise you.

Penny led me on, past the row of cottages and round the end, so we could move out into the great white wilderness of the open grounds. There were a few dark stick-figure trees, too thin for the snow to cling to … and great lumps and mounds, here and there. Buried flower gardens; old moss-flecked statues buried up to their waists; pagodas and gazebos; and snow, snow, everywhere.

Penny stopped suddenly and looked about her. ‘We have to be careful, Ishmael. There’s a big pond here somewhere. Covered with thick ice, I’m sure, with snow on top; but even so, I don’t think we want to go walking across it. Come around this way, and we should be safe enough.’

‘You have your own pond?’ I said as we circled around.

‘Full of trout, in the summer,’ said Penny. ‘And of course there’s a swimming pool, just up beyond the orange grove.’

‘Oh, well,’ I said. ‘If I had an orange grove, that’s where I’d put a swimming pool.’

Penny laughed. ‘It’s another world, isn’t it?’

We ended up walking between two great rows of louring snow-covered topiary shapes. I found them disturbing; their very vagueness suggested all sorts of unpleasant possibilities. Sometimes great clumps of snow would fall away from them as we passed, plunging to the ground, shaken off by the vibrations of our heavy footsteps. Penny would always jump. I didn’t.

‘I used to love these topiary animals, as a child,’ said Penny, glancing quickly about her. ‘Not so much, now. It’s like there could be a whole new shape, hidden under the snow. Monsters, hiding in plain sight.’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I know what you mean.’

Penny stopped and scowled about her, into the thickening mists. ‘The main flower gardens should be around here somewhere, but I’m damned if I could show you where. They’re just … gone. Vanished into the snow. I really don’t like this, Ishmael … feeling lost, in familiar surroundings. Like you can’t trust anything.’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I know what you mean.’

Penny shuddered suddenly, even inside her heavy fur coat. ‘Dear God, I’m freezing! Aren’t you freezing? Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea, after all.’

‘Then let’s go back,’ I said.

‘Oh, bless you! I’ve been dying to say that for ages, but didn’t know how to without sounding like a complete wuss.’

‘The Colonel definitely isn’t in any of the outbuildings,’ I said. ‘And there’s nowhere else he could be, out here; so we might as well go back.’

‘Let’s go,’ said Penny. ‘Somewhere back at the Manor, a nice hot drink is calling my name, in a loud and compelling voice.’

She stomped back through the snow, heading for home, and I strode along beside her.

I could feel the storm building. Growing, gathering its strength. I would have preferred to hurry, to get safe inside the house before the storm hit, but I couldn’t leave Penny behind. So I allowed her to set the pace and filled the time looking about me. And it was only by chance I saw the snowman, hidden behind one of the great topiary shapes. I stopped and pointed it out to Penny, and she squealed with delight like a child, clapping her gloved hands together. So of course we had to go over and take a look. It was just a rough shape — man-sized, though something less than a man’s height — but with no pieces of coal or carrot to make a face, and no scarf wrapped around the thick neck.

‘I wonder who made it?’ said Penny. ‘I mean; why come all the way out here, in this awful cold, and then make such a half-assed job of it?’

I stood very still, looking steadily at the rough snow shape. ‘Penny; I smell blood.’

She looked at me, not sure how to take that. ‘Really?’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Blood. Something bad has happened here.’

I gouged great chunks out of the snowman’s side, throwing them away. And a human arm fell out, hanging stiffly from the snowman. The hand was frozen solid, perfectly colourless. Penny didn’t scream, but her eyes were very wide. I pulled the snowman apart with savage speed, ripping great handfuls of snow away. It took more than human strength, but Penny didn’t notice.

Inside the snowman was the body of James Belcourt. My Colonel. Dead, for some time. He’d been left sitting cross-legged on the ground, and then covered with snow, shaped to look like a snowman. So no one would suspect. I stood back, not even breathing hard, brushing snow from my gloves. Looking at what someone had done to my Colonel. And right then my heart was colder than anything in that winter garden.

‘Not a bad idea,’ I said. ‘The body wouldn’t have reappeared until the snow melted, and by then the killer expected to be long gone. But the storm set in, sealing off the Manor from the rest of the world. And the killer was trapped here.’

‘You mean … you think one of the people staying at the Manor is the killer?’ said Penny. Her voice was steady enough, but here eyes were still very wide.

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘That’s what I think. Don’t you?’

She didn’t know what to say. I knelt down before the body, to stare into the Colonel’s unblinking eyes.

‘All the time I was looking for you, here you were, waiting for me to find you. Came really close to missing you, Colonel. Sorry. This probably would have worked, if I hadn’t smelled the blood.’ And then I stopped and looked the body over carefully. ‘No obvious wounds. No damage to the body, apart from what looks like a ring of dried blood round the throat. Strangled? Garrotted? And no blood underneath you … So you weren’t killed here, Colonel. You were killed somewhere else and dumped here.’

‘I’m really very sorry, Ishmael,’ said Penny, tentatively. ‘You came all this way, just to find him dead. What will you do now?’

‘Avenge him,’ I said.

I took the Colonel’s body in my arms and hugged him tightly. The body was hard and unyielding in my arms. I never once held him when he was alive. But he had been closer to me than anyone, in his own way.

After a while Penny knelt down beside me and put a hand on my shoulder, saying something, trying to comfort me, but I didn’t hear what she said. I wasn’t listening. The Colonel had been taken away from me, and I was alone again. I’d never felt so cold.

Someone would pay for this. Pay in blood and horror.

I took a firm grip on the body and started to lift it up. It came free from the frozen ground with a lurch, and the Colonel’s head fell off. Penny made a brief sound and fell back a few paces. I put the body back down and looked at the head. Someone had taken the head clean off, leaving a ragged wound at the neck stump. And then, they had replaced the head, quite neatly. I studied the pale pink and grey neck wound carefully. It was a savage, ragged tear. Far worse than you’d expect from a sword, or an axe. This looked more as though the head had been sawed off. I reached down and picked up the Colonel’s head. The face seemed to stare reproachfully up at me.

You got here too late, Ishmael.