The Dark Side of the Road

Six

Walter and Melanie led the way down the hall, and we all just followed on behind. As though it was just another dinner, and just another day, and no one had died who mattered. Roger was still sticking close to Penny, who didn’t have the heart to brush him off. Khan was right behind them, trying to attract Roger’s attention so they could continue their conversation. To his credit, Roger was having none of it. Not as long as he thought Penny needed him. Everyone was all talking loudly and cheerfully, as though they could drive back the dark if they only made enough noise. Diana and Sylvia walked together, apparently inseparable, until Diana stopped abruptly and looked back at me, bringing up the rear. She gestured for me to wait, and then smiled apologetically at Sylvia.

‘You go on ahead, dear,’ said Diana. ‘I need to talk privately with this young man.’

Sylvia glowered at me, openly suspicious. ‘Are you sure, Diana? I could hang around, at a respectful distance, just so you’re not left alone with him …’

‘No; you go on, Sylvia,’ said Diana, and there was enough authority in her voice that Sylvia just shrugged quickly, turned, and walked on.

Diana came forward, to stand before me. She had to tilt her head back, to look up at me. And in her old face, I could see a young face I used to know. She stared at me with something like wonder. ‘You look just like the young man I used to know, back in Paris.’

‘But that was 1969,’ I said gently. ‘All those years ago. So it couldn’t have been me, could it? That would have to be my grandfather, Adam.’

‘Yes,’ said Diana. ‘That was his name. You look like him, sound like him, move like him. Every time I look at you, something you say or do brings back an old memory. Like the Ghost of Christmas Past; when the world and I were both so very much younger.’ She reached up to touch my face, with a trembling old hand. I stood still, and let her, doing my best to keep my smile nothing more than polite and respectful. Her fingertips trailed across my face, like the hand of a blind woman searching for truth.

‘My dear Adam,’ she said. ‘In Paris, in the spring. Such a time to be alive. But mostly what I remember now was how badly I treated him. I was young and foolish, and I thought I had the world at my feet. I told him to his face that my career had to come first. That I was one of the leading dancers of my generation, and I had a duty to pursue my art. And then I was surprised when he walked out on me. I never saw him again. So I could never tell him how wrong I’d been, and how sorry I was. Could I tell you, instead?’

‘I’m sure he knew, then,’ I said gently. ‘And I’m sure he knows now. But yes, you can tell me. If you like.’

‘I’m so sorry, Adam,’ she said, her voice cracking as old unshed tears glistened in her eyes.

‘It’s all right, Diana,’ I said. I took her in my arms and held her. And she clung to me like a drowning woman.

After a while, I gently pushed her away from me. ‘Take my arm,’ I said. ‘And I’ll lead you into dinner.’

‘Thank you, Ishmael,’ she said. ‘Sometimes, as you get older, you have to take your comforts where you can find them. My son is gone, my first love is gone, and all that’s left is some old woman whose face I don’t even recognize in the mirror. Getting old … is all about leaving things behind.’

‘That’s not getting old, girl,’ I said. ‘That’s just life.’

She laughed, briefly. ‘You sound just like him.’

She slipped an arm through mine, and I led her down the hallway. She was smiling.

Of course I remembered her, from Paris, in the spring, when we were both so very young. I’d only been human six years then, and I was still learning what that was. Diana taught me everything I needed to know about love; about joy and happiness and shared good times. About the importance of caring more for someone else than for yourself. I didn’t leave Diana because of her career. I left because I couldn’t be who and what she needed me to be. Because I couldn’t grow old alongside her.

I remembered Diana, dancing. Like the Goddess of Dance come down to blaze among mere mortals. I thought … She doesn’t need me. She needs a good man. I hoped she’d find one, after I was gone. Instead, she found Walter Belcourt, which didn’t last, and then apparently a succession of cheerful young women like Sylvia. Who were never meant to last. I wondered how long it had been since Diana last danced, throwing her body across a lit stage like the music itself come to life. And then curtsying deeply to an audience driven to its feet by wild appreciation.

Throwing flowers and cheering themselves hoarse, and pounding their hands together till they ached.

Of course I remembered Diana, in that wonderful year, with the best films and the best songs ever. Of course I remembered being young, and in love. But what would be the point of saying anything? What could I say that wouldn’t be cruel?

We came at last to the dining hall door, and there was Walter, waiting for us, with Sylvia at his side. He fixed me with a stern look.

‘Just need a quick word with you, Ishmael,’ he said briskly. ‘You go on in, Diana my dear. I kept Sylvia here with me to walk you in, so you wouldn’t have to be on your own, even for a moment.’

‘How very kind of you, Walter,’ said Diana, disengaging her arm from mine. ‘If you’d been this thoughtful when we were married, we might still be together. I was just talking to Ishmael about my old dancing days. You never did see me dance, did you, Walter?’

‘No,’ he said. ‘But I am told, you were a wonder to behold.’

She was. Oh, she was.

Walter pushed open the dining hall door, and Diana and Sylvia went in together. Walter shut the door, very firmly, shutting off a brief clamour of raised voices from within. And then he hesitated, not sure where to start.

‘What is it, Walter?’ I said, as kindly as I could.

‘We need to talk,’ said Walter, but still he hesitated.

‘Tell me,’ I said. ‘Why did you bring in Jeeves as a bodyguard for this particular weekend gathering? Were you expecting trouble?’

Walter nodded, slowly. ‘Not much gets past you, does it, boy? I’ve had bodyguards before, that neither Diana or Melanie needed to know about. But this is the first time I felt the need for an armed guard so close at hand. I hired Jeeves after Alex told me there had been a series of threats made against the company. More serious threats than usual. The company has been having cash flow problems, of late, and we had no choice but to lay off a whole bunch of people. The Board made the decision, of course, but I went along. These things happen … You do what you have to do, to keep the company going. We would have hired them all back, as soon as things improved … Or at least, I like to think we would.

‘Anyway, Alex brought these latest threats to my attention because they were death threats. You destroyed my life so I’ll destroy yours … Aimed not just at me, but my family as well. Nasty stuff … Alex turned them over to the police, of course, but they couldn’t offer much in the way of reassurance, or protection. So I felt it best to err on the side of caution.

‘Jeeves isn’t just here to look after me; he’s here to protect Melanie and Diana and Penny. I didn’t know James would be here too … I didn’t tell Melanie, because I knew she’d only be upset. I didn’t tell Diana, because I knew she wouldn’t take it seriously. And I didn’t tell Penny … because she would only have insisted she could take care of herself. I wanted them protected. It isn’t the first time I’ve lied to them, to keep them safe. And in the end, it turns out the threat wasn’t to any of them, after all. The bastard went after my son, James.’

‘You still think this is aimed primarily at you, rather than the Colonel?’ I said.

Walter reached into an inside pocket with an unsteady hand and brought out an envelope with familiar handwriting on the outside. He hefted the envelope in his hand, as though it was something precious that he didn’t want to give up.

‘James left a letter with me, to give to you as soon as you arrived. It was the very first thing he did, yesterday evening. Before he even said hello. I told him he could give it to you himself, but there was something in his eyes … He didn’t look scared; more, resigned. I should have pressed him for details … but there were so many things I wanted to say to him, so many things I needed to talk to him about. So we sat in my study, together, and we talked for hours and hours. Just the two of us. He couldn’t tell me anything about his work, of course, and I wasn’t really interested. This was all … father and son stuff. I wanted to be sure he was happy, content in his life. That he was living the kind of life he wanted. He said he was. I like to think we made our peace … I’m glad we had that chance, at least.’

‘He couldn’t tell you about his work,’ I said. ‘Who he was, what he did. But if he could have, you would have been proud of him.’

‘Of course I was proud of him!’ said Walter. ‘I was his father …’ His voice cracked on that last word, and he thrust the sealed envelope at me.

I took it from him and studied the inscription on the outside. Just my name, in the Colonel’s immaculate hand. I’d seen it before, on so many sealed orders. I looked up, to see Walter gazing at me expectantly.

I just looked back, until it became clear to him that I wasn’t going to open the envelope until I was alone.

‘Security,’ I said.

‘Of course,’ said Walter. ‘I understand.’

‘I will tell you what it says, later,’ I said. ‘If there’s anything in it you need to know. It’s probably just my instructions. Explaining why he called me here, and what I’m supposed to be doing.’

Walter nodded, reluctantly. He turned to the closed dining hall door, hesitated, looked back. ‘Will you be all right here, on your own?’

‘I’m always on my own,’ I said. ‘And I’m always all right.’

Walter nodded again, trying to look like he understood. He pushed the door open, and once more there was a brief uproar of raised voices from inside, before the door shut them off again. I put my back against the door, so I could keep an eye on the empty hallway, and then I opened the envelope.

It wasn’t a long letter. Just a hurried scrawl, rather than the Colonel’s usual perfect penmanship. Wouldn’t surprise me if he wrote it in his car, before he got out and entered Belcourt Manor. One last piece of insurance.

As I read it, I could hear the Colonel’s voice in my head. Calm and assured, even in the face of danger. Because he was the Colonel.

Ishmael; watch your back. I have returned to my old home to face a very real danger; because my family is at risk. I stayed away all these years, distanced myself from my family, so that my work wouldn’t endanger them. But now, everything has changed. A horror has come to Belcourt Manor. I don’t know if I can stop it, if I can protect my family. If it turns out I can’t, I must ask you to do it for me. I can’t even tell you what I think the danger is, because I have no proof; and I can’t risk pointing you in the wrong direction. It is possible that I am wrong. And if I am, then we’ll just have a jolly Christmas together. But that’s not the way I’d bet. Whatever happens, Ishmael, protect my family.

And that was it. Not even a signature. Just one last note, from a man who believed he was going to his death and went willingly. Because he had always been a man who believed in duty. And in one last act of love for his family. I read through the letter again, looking for some clue as to what kind of danger I’d been brought here to fight. A horror has come to Belcourt Manor …

That suggested a danger from my world, not from Walter and his business. From the hidden world, and the dark side of the road. I had to wonder: how bad was this danger that a man as experienced in dealing with bad things as the Colonel could fall to it so easily? A man who’d shut down many a monstrous trouble in his time? I’d worked with him in the field on several occasions, seen him in action. The Colonel always led the way, because he was the best of us.

I remembered the Murder Generals; the Dark Lady from Under the Hill; the Queen in Waiting and the Cathedral in Flames; and the High Orbit Ghosts. They all threatened the world, in their time, until the Colonel and I put them down.

But I’d seen nothing at Belcourt Manor to suggest the touch of Outside Forces. Could the Colonel’s death really be nothing more than a disgruntled ex-employee? Sawing off the Colonel’s head spoke to human cruelty, to making a vicious point … I couldn’t rule that out. But I couldn’t believe the Colonel would call me in for anything so straightforward. No; this had to be linked to the Colonel’s past. All the enemies he made, all across the world, doing the Organization’s business.

Except I would have sworn an oath they were all dead. The Colonel never did believe in leaving loose ends.

I slipped the letter carefully back in its envelope and tucked it securely away in an inside pocket. And then I pushed open the door and went in to dinner.

They were all sitting around one end of a really long table, in the grand old dining hall of Belcourt Manor. The room was huge, vast, overpowering. Big enough to play cricket in, with a high arched ceiling you couldn’t have reached with a stepladder. A great fire burned fiercely, in a massive stone fireplace. Two hanging chandeliers shed fierce electric light from one end of the dining hall to the other. The shutters covering the two huge windows at the far end were so heavy, I couldn’t hear even a murmur from the storm outside. The room was in a state of denial, like the people inside it.

Everyone at the table made a point of not looking up as I entered. They all seemed very preoccupied, though the plates set out in front of them were all conspicuously empty. I slammed the door, on general principles, and strolled forward.

Walter sat at the head of the table, with Melanie seated at his right hand and Diana at his left. The Lord of the Manor, with his Ladies. Sylvia sat next to Diana, and Khan sat next to Melanie. Roger next to Khan, and opposite him, Penny next to Sylvia. I pulled out a chair and sat down next to Penny. She shot me a quick, grateful smile, before going back to not listening to what Roger was saying to her.

I settled myself comfortably, removed the gleaming white napkin from its engraved silver ring, flipped the cloth out and dropped it into my lap. I don’t need napkins; I never drop anything. But it’s all part of fitting in.

The china set out before me was really quite impressive, and I’m not easily impressed. Old pieces, much used, probably going back generations. The layers of cutlery spreading out from my plate didn’t intimidate me in the least. I have travelled through every country in the world, doing good, or something very like it, and learned all their customs. All you had to do here was start at the outside and work your way in, course by course. At least no one at Belcourt Manor was going to object if I ate with my left hand.

The long dining table had obviously been intended to seat a much larger gathering, from the days when the Belcourts were a much larger family. Or perhaps they were just bigger people in those days. Walter’s Christmas gathering didn’t even fill up half the table. The tablecloth was gleaming white samite, with burning candelabra set at regular intervals. The candle-flames burned straight up, not bothered by even a breath of a draught. It was all very calm and dignified, and not a Christmas cracker was in sight. I’ve never cared for such things. I won’t read out stupid jokes, I won’t play with stupid toys, and I absolutely refuse to wear stupid paper hats. It’s not about dignity; it’s about self-respect.

Still no promise of any food, so I looked around the room.

The walls boasted yet more family portraits, more weapons on display, and the odd souvenir or relic from the Belcourt family’s military past. Flags and banners, handwritten proclamations preserved under glass, silver snuffboxes and bejewelled bits and bobs. The loot of history. I made a mental note to steal something small and valuable before I left the house, just on general principles. And without quite seeming to, I looked at everyone seated round the table, and watched their faces as I listened in on their conversations.

Penny sat back in her chair and stared at nothing, toying vaguely with her napkin ring, making vague noises of interest in response to Roger’s desperate attempts to make conversation.

‘Everything’s going to be all right, Penny,’ the young man said earnestly. ‘You’re not to worry. I’ll look after you. I know it must have been a hell of a shock … finding James like that.’ He paused, to look dubiously at me. I made sure I just happened to be looking somewhere else.

Roger sniffed loudly, possibly without even realizing he was doing it, and turned back to Penny. ‘I would never let anything happen to you, Penny. You do know that, don’t you?’

Penny smiled at Roger, giving him her full attention for the first time. ‘Yes; I know that, Roger. I never doubted it. Every now and again I remember what it was I saw in you. A crisis always brings out the best in you. Such a shame it takes so much to make you interesting. Tell me something, Roger …’

‘Of course, darling. Ask me anything.’

‘What’s going on, between you and Alexander? Come on; he’s been hanging around you all weekend, badgering you like a love-struck stalker. What does he want from you?’

Surprisingly, Roger grinned easily. ‘What does he always want? Money, of course. He thinks he can get it out of me. He thinks he can pressure me. He thinks he can get me something I want.’

‘What?’ said Penny.

‘You, of course! But alas, I know better. So, dear old Alex … can sit on it and rotate.’

I left the two young people to smile at each other and switched my attention to Alexander Khan, talking earnestly with Melanie. They were smiling into each other’s eyes and ignoring everyone else.

‘I’m sure you’re right, my dear,’ said Khan. ‘Whatever danger there might have been is quite definitely past. The killer is gone, and we are all perfectly safe. It’s always possible James brought the danger with him, as a result of whatever he was up to. But now the murderer’s got what he wanted, he’s undoubtedly long gone.’

‘Did you know James at all?’ said Melanie. ‘Only sometimes, the way you say his name, I get the distinct impression-’

‘I knew of him,’ Khan said quickly. ‘He had a reputation … in a field I was once involved in. But I never met the man.’

‘Or Ishmael?’ said Melanie.

‘No; that was his father. Daniel. Just one of those strange coincidences, I suppose, that the son of my old colleague should work for Walter’s son. But then, life is full of strange connections. Like us.’

‘Hush,’ said Melanie, still smiling. ‘Not in front of Walter.’

‘He’s not listening.’

‘You can never tell with Walter.’

‘But we will meet, later?’

‘Oh, of course. Later,’ said Melanie. And they went back to smiling into each other’s eyes.

I let my concentration move on, to Diana and Sylvia. Not surprisingly, Sylvia was doing most of the talking. Chattering cheerfully about previous Christmas parties she’d attended, at other great houses. Shamelessly name-dropping minor celebrities, past lovers and important business connections. Diana just nodded, here and there and not always in time, lost in her own memories.

Sylvia finally gave up. ‘Honestly, darling! Here I am, treating you to my very best gossip, and you’re miles away! Whatever is the matter, dear?’

‘My son is dead,’ said Diana. ‘My only child. I never wanted another, until it was far too late.’ She smiled sadly at Sylvia. ‘And so I make do, with my dear young companions. My substitute children. Don’t get too attached to me, dear. I’m a terrible mother.’

And all this time Walter sat alone at the head of his table, lord of all he surveyed; saying nothing, looking at no one. Except, perhaps, at his great family hall. Such a large room, with so few present to enjoy it. Walter was the end of his family history, and he knew it. He had grown old, in an old house. And soon, he wouldn’t even have that. Because he had done well, but not well enough. It’s a hard thing, to know that soon you will have no choice but to sell your family inheritance, for a few last years of comfort.

And then all the conversation broke off abruptly, and everyone looked around as the door slammed open and in came Cook, pushing a large and heavily-laden trolley ahead of her. There was a sudden marvellous smell of hot food, and everyone perked up. Jeeves followed Cook in.

‘Ah, Mrs Bridges!’ said Walter loudly. ‘Dinner, at last!’

‘You’re lucky to have it!’ snapped Cook. A small fierce blonde woman in her late twenties, in a stylized Victorian cook’s outfit, she scowled around the dining table, sparing no one. Her hair was short and spiky, her face red with sweat and exertion, and her gaze was full of an uncomplicated fury. She slammed to a halt, leaning on her trolley while she got her breath back, and looked very much like she would enjoy spitting in the food. Right in front of us.

‘Here’s your dinner!’ she said loudly. ‘On time! And it’s Ms Bridges, thank you very much. Leilah Bridges, and don’t you forget it! I have produced this entire dinner on my own, without any staff or support, under conditions I wouldn’t wish on a deceased dog! That nasty old shit-hole downstairs is the most old-fashioned and inefficient kitchen I have ever had the misfortune to work in. And I’ve been around!’

‘It’s true,’ murmured Jeeves. ‘She has.’

‘So here’s your dinner!’ said Cook. ‘Eat it while it’s hot! I’ll serve the soup, and then I’m out of here. You can help yourselves to the other courses from the trolley, because I’m not coming back. And yes, there is afters. Plum duff, on the bottom shelf. Hope you like your custard thick and lumpy, because that’s how I like it, so that’s how I make it. All right?’

No one dared answer. Cook prowled round the table, shoving the trolley in front of her with sudden bursts of ill-tempered strength, ladling generous amounts of soup into bowls and then slamming them down in front of people, most of whom were wise enough to just sit well back in their chairs and let her get on with it. Khan made the mistake of asking what kind of soup it was, and she slammed the bowl down in front of him so hard, the contents actually jumped up into the air for a moment.

Cook fixed Khan with an openly mutinous glare. ‘Can’t you smell it? That is Mulligatawny! Beef curry soup! Get it down you; it’s good for what ails you. Don’t poke at it like that! It’s supposed to have bits in it!’

She finished her rounds, abandoned the trolley and headed straight for the open door. She paused there, to glare back at us one last time. ‘I could have been at home with my family, safe and sound and stuffed full of good food, but no! I am trapped here in this decrepit old dump, with a murderer lurking in the shadows, and all hell breaking loose outside. I’m only here because I was tempted by the money. I should be getting a bonus! I should be getting danger money! Right; I am out of here. I am going straight back to my kitchen, where I want everyone to know I have a really big cleaver and a complete willingness to use it!’

‘It’s true,’ said Jeeves. ‘She has.’

‘Hold everything,’ I said.

All eyes turned to me. To my surprise, Cook calmed down immediately and studied me with cool, thoughtful eyes.

I nodded at the soup in front of me. ‘It looks fine,’ I said. ‘And it smells delicious. But given that one of us has already been murdered, almost certainly after being drugged … I can’t help wondering how much we can trust whatever is put in front of us.’

Everyone looked at their soup.

I smiled at Cook. ‘No offence to you, Ms Bridges, but anyone could have sneaked down to your kitchen and … interfered with the food. So I have to wonder; do we need a food taster?’

Jeeves moved in beside me, took up my soup spoon, stirred the soup thoroughly, and then raised a spoonful to his mouth. He knocked it back, without a single emotion crossing his face, licked his lips, and then dropped my spoon back into the bowl.

‘Delicious,’ he said.

I picked up the spoon, polished it carefully with my napkin, and then smiled around the table. ‘Well,’ I said. ‘Good enough for me! Bon appetit, everyone.’

Cook said, ‘Hah!’ in a loud and carrying voice, and stomped away. Jeeves went after her, shutting the door quietly but firmly behind them.

‘So,’ said Penny. ‘That’s Cook … Where on earth did you find her, Daddy?’

‘Same place that gave us Jeeves,’ said Walter. ‘Apparently they come as a package … Does anyone want me to say grace?’

He looked hopefully down the table, but he’d left it too late. We’d all had a long hard day, and we were all of us extremely hungry. In fact, most of us had started the soup before he’d finished his first sentence. Nothing stimulates the appetite like an unexpected proximity to death. So we all tucked in. The food was excellent, and everyone gave it their full attention. But even the best food couldn’t stop these people from talking for long; not when they all had so much they wanted to say. After a little surreptitious prompting from Khan, Melanie started the ball rolling.

‘Walter!’

‘Yes, dear?’ he said immediately. ‘Have I forgotten something?’

‘I demand to know why you felt the need to bring an armed bodyguard into our house, masquerading as a butler!’

Walter looked at Khan, who just shrugged. Walter patted Melanie’s hand comfortingly. ‘Just being cautious, my dear. Alex drew my attention to some rather worrying hate mail, aimed at me and the company, so I decided we would all be a lot safer with a professional security expert on hand. I think you’ll all agree; Jeeves has proved a first-class butler …’

‘The Colonel is still dead,’ I said, and Walter had no reply to that. I looked at Khan. ‘So; Alex. As head of the company these days, you must have known about Jeeves all along?’

‘No,’ said Khan. ‘I didn’t. Walter didn’t see fit to inform me.’

He glared at Walter, who met his gaze unflinchingly. ‘I don’t have to tell you everything, Alex. I am still capable of making my own decisions.’

‘Is that why my James is dead?’ Diana said loudly. ‘Was he killed because of these threats to you and your damned company? Are you responsible for our son’s death?’

Walter looked at her, helplessly, and then looked at me. I nodded, took the envelope out of my pocket, removed the letter, and read out the contents to the whole company. And then I passed the letter down the table, so everyone could look at it for themselves. To see I wasn’t exaggerating. So I could look at them, looking at the Colonel’s last words. Because I felt the need to stir things up a little. They were all clearly intrigued by the letter’s contents, but they also seemed equally surprised and equally baffled. The letter went up the table and down the other side, and ended up with Roger, who didn’t want to give it up until he’d had his say. Penny cut him off with a hard look and kept on glaring at him until he reluctantly handed the letter back to me. I put it away again.

‘I think the time for secrets is past,’ said Khan, not looking at anyone in particular. ‘We need to know, we have a right to know, just what the hell is going on here. And exactly what it is you and the Colonel do, Mister Jones, that has brought this … horror, here.’

‘Damn right!’ said Roger.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said, trying to sound like I was. ‘I could tell you, but then I’d have to nuke the house from orbit, just to be sure. You could say, I was the Colonel’s Jeeves. I solved problems for him. Protecting those who needed protecting from bad things, and putting the hard word on people who deserved it. Except, unlike Jeeves, I don’t carry a gun. Never have. Don’t believe in them. Now, I hate to rain on everyone’s parade, but I can’t let you hide behind a false sense of security any longer.’

I explained to them why the Colonel simply couldn’t have been killed where Penny and I found him. That the lack of blood made it clear it was a body dump. And that the murderer was almost certainly sitting right there at the table, hiding in plain sight, hoping to go unnoticed till the storm passed and they could make their escape.

‘Only, that isn’t going to happen,’ I said. ‘Because I will find the killer first.’

‘And put the hard word on him?’ said Penny.

‘He killed my Colonel,’ I said. And something in my voice made everyone at the table shiver, just for a moment.

‘Why didn’t you tell us all this before?’ said Khan.

‘Because you weren’t ready to hear it,’ I said.

People were looking back and forth around the table, staring into familiar faces, looking for something out of place. They all seemed to accept my logic, even if none of them were happy about it. Here and there, hands moved a little closer to the knives by their plates, as though feeling the need for something like a weapon. Everyone was eyeing up everyone else and wondering if they could take them. Or outrun them.

‘So,’ I said, and everyone’s eyes snapped back to me. I did my best to smile reassuringly. ‘It’s time to establish who has an alibi. See if we can rule anyone out. Where were you all, when the Colonel was murdered?’

‘But … we don’t know when James was killed, do we?’ said Melanie.

I looked at Walter. ‘You said the Colonel arrived here very late, last night. Can you remember what time it was when he finally retired to his room?’

‘Half-past two in the a.m.,’ said Walter, very firmly. ‘I remember, because James pointed out how long we’d been talking, and we both laughed. We would have gone on, but we were both tired out. If I’d known it was the last time I would ever talk with him … Anyway, I escorted him upstairs. I’d put him back in his old room; the Tiger Lily.’

‘We only have your word for it that that’s the right time,’ said Roger, bullishly.

‘Really, Roger!’ said Penny. ‘You can’t call Daddy a liar to his face! I won’t have it!’

‘Assume, for the moment, that Walter’s memory is correct,’ I said. ‘That means the Colonel had to be murdered some time after two thirty a.m., and before four thirty p.m., when Penny and I found the body. Which is a hell of a gap, complicated by the frozen state of the body. He had to have been there for some time before we found him, to have frozen so solidly. Everyone; think hard. Do any of you remember anyone here going missing, during that period? As in, unaccounted for? Not being where you would expect them to be?’

I looked up and down the table, where everyone was busy looking at everyone else. They would all have liked to accuse someone, either to pay off some old score, or just to make themselves feel better … but none of them felt justified in pointing the finger, just yet.

‘I was with Walter,’ Melanie said finally.

‘And I was with Sylvia,’ said Diana.

‘I’ve spent most of the day talking business with Walter, or Roger,’ said Khan.

‘And Roger’s been hanging around me pretty much non-stop,’ said Penny.

She didn’t sound particularly happy about that. Roger started to bristle, remembered where he was, and subsided again.

‘We have to be realistic,’ Walter said heavily. ‘Any one of us could have slipped away, for perfectly justifiable reasons … Disappeared for a while, without anyone noticing or thinking twice about it. How could we know what was going to be significant and what wasn’t? It’s a big house, and we’ve all been coming and going. None of us has an alibi that’s worth a damn.’

‘We’ve locked the killer inside the house with us,’ said Khan. And no one had anything else to say, after that.

I wished the Colonel was there. He was always so much better at this sort of thing than I ever was.

For want of anything better to do, we all started eating again. Course after course. Partly to keep us occupied; mainly because no one wanted to go anywhere. There might be a killer in the room, but there was still safety in numbers. We ate everything on the trolley, including the plum duff and custard, which was actually quite tasty, and drank a lot of tea and coffee. We talked of various things, in brittle artificial tones, looking for hidden meanings in everyone’s words. Circling around the subject no one wanted to discuss, but which we couldn’t stop thinking about. I was still thinking hard and getting nowhere, when Melanie suddenly stood up.

‘Walter needs his rest,’ she said firmly. ‘Look at him; nodding off in his chair. He needs to lie down properly, or he won’t be able to get up at all tomorrow.’

‘I’m too tired to argue with you,’ said Walter. He allowed Melanie to help him to his feet, leaning heavily on her for support. And then he stopped and looked at me. ‘You did say … you thought we should all stick together.’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘The company may be uncomfortable, but it’s still the safest way to go. If you really do need to lie down, we could always bring in a couch …’

‘Nonsense!’ said Melanie. ‘Walter and I have our bedroom here on the ground floor, these days. Just down the hall. You’ll have no trouble hearing me yell if we need you.’

‘When did you move downstairs, Daddy?’ said Penny, frowning. ‘You’ve had the same room on the first floor since you were a boy.’

‘The view’s better down here,’ growled Walter, avoiding her gaze.

‘He can’t handle the stairs any more,’ said Melanie. ‘Another good reason why you need to lie down and get your rest, dear.’

‘She’s right,’ said Walter. He smiled at her. ‘You always know what’s best for me. That is why I keep you around, isn’t it, dear?’

‘Of course, Walter. Because I’m always right. Now come along.’

They headed for the dining hall door, Walter leaning heavily on his walking stick and on Melanie. He was too tired now even to try and hide how tired he was. Everyone else started getting to their feet.

I stood up, to face them. ‘This really isn’t a good idea,’ I said.

‘No one else has been killed since James,’ said Sylvia, just a bit testily. ‘I don’t see any reason why we should see ourselves as targets. Murderers don’t kill for no reason. You need your rest too, Diana. You get some sleep, and I’ll stand guard over you. Well actually, I’ll sit guard over you. I’ve got some magazines.’

‘She’s right,’ Diana said to me. ‘We’ve all had a long hard day, and we can’t hope to defend ourselves or protect each other if we’re too tired to keep our eyes open. We’re only on the first floor, after all. And I can probably scream louder than Melanie, if I have to.’

‘Dear Diana,’ murmured Melanie, still guiding Walter to the door. ‘Always so competitive …’

‘I think I’ll feel safer in my own room, with the door locked and a chair jammed up against it,’ said Khan. ‘I suggest we all get what sleep we can, recharge our batteries, and then reconvene tomorrow morning in the drawing room.’

‘Someone should send word down to Jeeves, in the kitchen,’ said Penny. ‘He can stand guard in the hallway, with his gun.’

‘You trust the one man we know for sure isn’t who he said he was?’ I said. ‘The one man in the house with a weapon?’

‘The Colonel wasn’t shot,’ said Penny. ‘And right now, I don’t trust anyone.’

She just happened to be looking at me when she said that.

‘I’ll walk you to your room, darling,’ said Roger.

‘I can look after myself!’ she said, a little more sharply than was necessary.

And just like that, they were all heading for the door. There was nothing I could say or do to stop them separating, so I just shrugged mentally and went after them. Maybe if they did split up, someone would seize the opportunity to do something stupid, or revealing. Or incriminating.

At the last moment, Penny hung back at the doorway and gestured for me to come forward so we could speak quietly.

‘You can’t bully them into doing the sensible thing, Ishmael. They all need time to themselves, to talk and think in private. A chance to play the blame game and decide who they trust. It’s scary to be on your own, but it’s even scarier to be stuck in a room with a hidden killer. What do you think is really going on here, Ishmael? Was James the real target, or was he just a way to get at Daddy?’

‘The killer must have seen the Colonel as a threat, to kill him first,’ I said. ‘Beyond that, I have no idea. It could be anyone.’

‘Including me?’ said Penny.

‘Of course not,’ I lied.