The Facts of Life and Death

28

RUBY WATCHED THE sea a hundred feet below. The tide was on the turn and the deep green water slid quietly up against the cliffs and then just hung around with nothing to do until the next swell came along.

She hadn’t been to the haunted house since that last time with Adam. She’d been nervous of the flagstone in the hearth. But now the thought of the swing and the stile and the dark woods that hemmed the Clovelly pathway made her more nervous.

Her nose was pressed against the floorboard. It smelled of rot. Now and then she moved her eye and put her nose to the hole instead, to breathe the sea air. Now and then she got a whiff of kelp and dankness that reminded her of the muddy paddock, devoid of horses.

She thought of the horseshoe on Miss Sharpe’s charm bracelet tinkling as she tapped her finger on the page of her diary.

Where did you hear that word, Ruby?

I don’t know, Miss. On the bus, I think.

Do you know what it means?

No, Miss.

Well, it’s not a nice word, Ruby. Don’t use it, OK?

I wasn’t going to, Miss.

Good.

Ruby was a bit confused. She’d heard Daddy use that word, and it couldn’t be that bad because then she’d been asked to wait after class, and then Miss Sharpe hadn’t been angry with her at all. She had asked her about the swing and the paddock and Adam, and if everything was all right at home. Ruby had said, Yes, Miss because the house was fine apart from the damp patches and the bathroom window. She hadn’t got a clue why Miss Sharpe wanted to know about their home. Grown-ups often said confusing stuff.

Then Miss Sharpe had said, You know you can always come and tell me things, Ruby.

Yes, Miss.

Even secret things.

Yes, Miss.

Miss Sharpe had put her head on one side as if she was waiting for something. Ruby didn’t know what.

I have a secret. Do you want to hear it?

OK, Miss.

Well… I have a pet rabbit called Harvey, and sometimes I talk to him just like he’s another person!

Ruby had smiled because Miss Sharpe had smiled, but she didn’t see why talking to a rabbit like a person was such a big deal. She talked to Lucky all the time and he was made of plastic. It was like some grown-ups didn’t know the difference between games and reality.

Do you have any secrets, Ruby?

No, Miss.

That was a lie, too. But what was the point of having secrets if you were going to tell them to the first person who asked? Then they weren’t secrets any more.

She did wish she had a rabbit though.

A sharp crack close to her ear made Ruby jump.

‘Shit,’ said Adam. ‘I was trying to creep up on you.’ He lifted his foot carefully and the floor creaked back into place.

They both made the same alarmed face, and then laughed.

Adam sat cross-legged beside his own hole, like an Eskimo going fishing.

‘You OK?’ he said.

He meant after yesterday, Ruby knew, but for some reason she didn’t feel embarrassed, even though he’d seen her cry.

‘Yeah,’ she said.

‘It didn’t bite you, did it?’

‘No.’

‘They’re trained not to bite,’ he said. ‘Not until the policeman says so. We had a demonstration at school.’

‘Yeah?’ Ruby was surprised. The only demonstration her school ever had was a policewoman with ladders in her tights showing them how to ride a bicycle.

‘Yeah, this bloke had a big padded suit on and when the policeman told the dog to bite his arm, he bit his arm, and when he said to bite his leg, he bit his leg. But the dog only did that when he was told. Otherwise he just barked. Those dogs are so well trained.’

‘I hate them,’ said Ruby.

Adam nodded. ‘Yeah, I’d hate them too if one trapped me in the Bear Den.’

He leaned sideways on to his elbow, and then rolled on to his tummy beside Ruby and put his eye to the hole.

There were hardly waves, and no foam at all.

‘It’s rubbish today,’ said Adam against the wood.

‘I know.’

But they watched it anyway.

‘How’s Lucky?’ said Adam.

‘He’s fine,’ said Ruby.

‘Did you get carrots?’

‘No, a potato.’

‘A potato?’

‘Mmm.’ Ruby was sorry she hadn’t got carrots now. Adam had told her to and it would have been funny. ‘It’s like a boulder,’ she explained.

‘That’s funny too,’ said Adam.

Their feet touched.

‘Sorry,’ said Adam.

‘’S OK,’ said Ruby. Then she giggled and nudged him back.

‘Hey!’

They wrestled gently with their ankles for a bit, never taking their eyes from the holes in the planking. Then Adam leaned over and nudged her shoulder with his.

‘Ow!’

He looked up. ‘Did I hurt you?’

She looked up too. ‘No.’

They laughed.

When they put their eyes back to the floor, their shoulders remained touching. Ruby’s eyes were on the sea but her whole mind seemed to be thinking about Adam’s shoulder touching hers. She could feel his warmth right through their T-shirts.

The sea was dead dull but they kept looking at it anyway.

Ruby wanted to thank Adam. She wasn’t sure why. For Lucky, or for saying he’d have been afraid of the dog too, or just for lying beside her so they could watch the sea together.

But talking would have been too loud, so she didn’t.

Her elbows started to hurt. She should get up and give them a rest. But she lay there instead, pressing Adam’s shoulder with hers.

‘My dad’s got a girlfriend,’ said Adam.

Ruby looked over at him. ‘What?’

Adam didn’t take his eye from the hole in the floor. ‘My dad’s got a girlfriend. I heard my mum telling my gran on the phone.’

Ruby stared at Adam’s ear. The outer edge of it was very red. Was it always so red? She wasn’t sure.

‘Who’s his girlfriend?’ she said, dreading the answer.

Adam rolled on to his side so they were facing each other, but he stared at the floor between them, picking at it with his fingernail. There was a crack there where he’d trodden just now, and a jagged edge. ‘Somebody in London, I think. He’s always there.’

Ruby wasn’t sure what to say. She was relieved to hear that it wasn’t Mummy, but she felt sorry for Adam.

‘That’s horrible,’ she said.

‘Yeah,’ nodded Adam. ‘He’s a bastard.’

Ruby was shocked to hear Adam use that word about his own father. He must really hate him.

‘Is he going to leave you?’

‘I don’t know,’ sighed Adam. ‘I’m not even supposed to know about it. Nobody knows I know.’

‘Does Chris know?’

‘I don’t think so.’

Ruby picked at the crack too, so they were doing it together. The wood was so rotten it was easy to pull bits off, even with their fingers.

‘Who will you live with if they get a divorce?’

‘I don’t know.’ Adam shrugged. ‘With my mum, probably.’

‘Yes, mostly the kids stay with the mummies,’ said Ruby with some authority. ‘That’s what all the kids at school do.’

Adam nodded and said, ‘Yeah.’

He worried the wood angrily with his fingernail until Ruby touched his hand.

He looked up at her.

Then he kissed her.

It took her by surprise, but she only drew back a little tiny bit. She kept her eyes open and so did Adam as his mouth touched hers like electricity. For a second she saw herself reflected in his pupils.

Then they heard Chris banging into the haunted house, crunching something underfoot and saying, ‘Shitting bollocks to that,’ and Adam rolled over and put his eye to the floor once again.

‘Adam!’

‘What?’

‘Tea.’

‘OK.’

He sighed and knelt up and said, ‘Bye, Ruby.’

Ruby got up and went to the window and watched Adam and Chris and the dogs all the way down the hill to their house.