The Gentlemen's Hour

88

Yeah, but he has one of the all-time great excuses, right?

“Honey, I was detained on suspicion of murder.” Has

to be good for a hall pass, doesn’t it? Has to be, Boone thinks, if I can get her to listen to it.

He debates with himself what to do next. Part of him says to let it slide until morning—he looks at his watch, okay,

later

in the morning—and let her cool down. Another part of him says he should drive over there right now and ring her doorbell.

What to do, what to do?

He calls Dave.

Who is, after all, the Love God.

“Oh, this better be

prime

,” Dave says when he answers the phone.

“You busy?”

“I was getting busy,” Dave answers. “What is it, you forgot the lyrics to

The Jetsons

? For the last time, it’s ‘His boy, Elroy. Jane, his wife.’”

Boone explains his situation, without specific reference to the Nicholses. Dave just lets it slide that Boone was picked up on suspicion of homicide and that Johnny B was the picker-upper. He gets right to the problem at hand.

“Go over there.”

“Really?”

“

Hell

, yes,” Dave says. “Dude, do you have any idea how pissed she is? Chick sets up a booty call and you don’t get your booty over there?”

“Uhh, murder charge?”

“Doesn’t matter to a woman,” Dave says.

“Has to. Come on.”

“Hold on,” Dave says. Boone hears him talking softly to someone, then Dave gets back on and says, “No. Doesn’t matter.”

“Shit.”

“Shit indeed,” Dave says. “Listen to your Uncle Dave, who has himself been in this same doleful situation. . . . I just said that to make him feel like a little less of an idiot, babe. . . . What you do is, you go over there, ring her bell, and beg forgiveness over the intercom. She won’t let you in, but she’ll feel better that you made the effort.”

“Then flowers . . . candy?”

“A little cliché,” Dave says, “and knowing the woman in question, she’d be happier with a DVD of your ritual disembowelment. No, this goes to Defcon four—you might be looking at jewelry.”

“Yikes.”

“You fucked up, bro.”

“I was detained for—”

“Again . . .”

“Doesn’t matter?”

“The beginning of wisdom, Boone.”

Dave hangs up.

Boone drives over to Petra’s building.