The Hawk Is Dead

5

Monday 20 November 2023

The King was supportive of the Royal Train on environmental grounds, and Queen Camilla was even more enthusiastic — particularly as she was never happy in a helicopter.

The back-room bean-counters of the Royal Household had long been advocating scrapping the train. They pointed out the cost of maintaining the three dedicated locomotives and nine carriages, for the very limited occasions the Royal Train was used, was too high compared to air and road travel. They, disdainfully, nicknamed it the Palace on Wheels.

But the current train was very far from anyone’s definition of a palace. In Edwardian times — then decked out with sumptuous velour upholstery and gold inlay — it had rivalled anything the heyday of the Raj had to offer. But after a major refit for the late Queen’s Jubilee in 1977 the interior was far more basic. If in former times the train might have been awarded five stars in any hotel guide, the refurbished one, forty-five years on — with its Formica work surfaces and avocado bathroom suite that wasn’t retro cool but just plain old-fashioned — would have struggled to get even three stars on TripAdvisor. Not that any members of the Royal Family who made occasional use of it were in the habit of posting about their accommodation on social media. But at least the actual Royal Carriage itself, with air suspension, a full-width sofa, and beds facing lengthways rather than across the rails, for maximum comfort, gave its passengers a far smoother ride than any commuter train.

For Queen Camilla, its real value was that it enabled her, travelling around the country for two or more days of public engagements, to stay over in comfort, in total privacy, without having to resort to hotels or return to London. And, parked in a siding, they were secure inside a police cordon.

For Quentin Haig, the Royal Train Officer and Manager of the Royal Train for more than twenty years, this train was his beloved universe, and he was immensely proud of just how immaculate it always was, in advance of any journey. He was particularly happy that it was a favoured method of transport for the current Prince and Princess of Wales, and even more so that Queen Camilla was keen on using it.

A perfectionist, Quentin Haig had arrived at the siding near Milton Keynes at 6 a.m. this morning, as he always did on days the train would be in service. He’d checked that the exteriors of both locomotives, and all the Royal Claret-coloured carriages in which Queen Camilla and her royal party would be travelling, were immaculate. Today they would be using seven carriages. If The King had been accompanying her, with his additional entourage, they would have had eight or, more likely, all nine carriages in use.

Then he had walked along the corridors, through the interior of each carriage. The first behind the front locomotive was the staff sleeper, where he slept, along with three engineers, who looked after the electronics, plumbing and physical hardware, as well as a representative from Network Rail. Then through into the Household Diner, which was effectively the staff canteen. The next carriage was the marginally more ornate and comfortable Royal Diner, followed by The Principals’ bedroom carriage with its bathroom suite.

This connected through to the royal sitting room, followed by an office carriage complete with desk. The final two carriages were the sleeping quarters for the Royal Household staff, which on today’s journey, along with Peregrine Greaves, The Queen’s Private Secretary, comprised: her two Queen’s Companions; her dresser; Director of Communications; Equerry to The Queen; the royal doctor; Director of Royal Travel; a valet; a footman; her hairdresser; and a team of Protection Officers.

As he went through the carriages that would be occupied by The Queen herself, he checked every detail, switching on and off the table lamps to ensure the bulbs were working. He ran the taps of Their Majesties’ bath, to check the water ran clear and warm, and flushed each of the seven loos.

Finally, at 8 a.m., the train crossed the Thames and then reversed back over it and onto the reserved and heavily guarded Platform 9 at Victoria Station.

The royal party would be arriving at 9.15 for the scheduled departure at exactly 9.30 a.m. Quentin prided himself that not once, in all the years under his watch, had the Royal Train ever arrived at a destination more than fourteen minutes either side of the scheduled time. Today’s driver for this leg of the journey, Stanley Briggs, had been made well aware of this. He would nail it, he assured Quentin Haig.