The Ides of April

XIV

We sat on in the caupona.

Customers thinned out. Junillus mopped a cloth around, then sat by himself with some building plans. He was a bright boy. At various times my aunt had paid for him to have lessons, when she could root out an understanding teacher. He had studied geography and, I seemed to remember, mathematics. He particularly shone at geometry. Wrestling had preserved him from being bullied.

Recently his parents had downsized to a new home after his father retired from government service; Junillus had grabbed the floorplans to put a stop to the kind of ghastly remodelling Junia and Gaius had imposed on their previous apartment. Gaius Baebius was a man who could not tell which end of a nail should be banged in. Nevertheless, he was always attempting to create a sophisticated sun terrace. His projects usually came to a standstill when he fell off a ladder and hurt his back.

Andronicus and I talked, or sometimes did not talk. He seemed to have no need to return to the aediles' office that afternoon. I could tell he had a maverick attitude; he came and went as he chose. This might displease a pernickety master.

The weather was sunny, but not yet hot. April is one of the most pleasant months in many countries. I felt myself sliding into a dreamy state, not all of it caused by wine.

The rest of the day passed easily. After a time, Andronicus and I, and my cousin, were the only people there. My dear cousin saw no reason to disappear and leave us in private. Despite being adopted, he possessed all the most annoying traits that ran in our family. It was interesting that he had absorbed the others' bad points, whereas I remained so unquarrelsome and discreet.

When people started dropping in on their way from work, Junillus stood up and began making pork nuggets to grill on skewers.

I glanced at Andronicus. Meat dishes were banned in bars. His master, the aedile, would punish my aunt if this crime ever caught his eye. Andronicus grinned; he held no brief for Faustus in his official role. Junillus signalled forcefully that he would give us takeaway nuggets gratis, if we would just stop hogging his best table. (There were only two tables in the tiny indoor space: the best and the one on the way to the latrine.) Most customers leant on the counter during daylight hours, but in the evening there was more demand for seating. Men who dropped in then were more likely to relax for longer; they liked to play dice and board games too. If they were sitting down with a table between them, there was a split second longer for intervention when they fell out over the game and tried to kill each pther.

So, we accepted a long kebab skewer and, you guessed it, took the nuggets home to mine.

As we walked, the level of excitement between Andronicus and me rose significantly.

I looked in on Rodan in case there were messages. The useless bundle was not there.

Andronicus bounded ahead, going straight upstairs towards the office. Had he been slower, I was seriously intending to take him to my private apartment. By the time I caught up, my over-keen admirer had lost his chance. That did not mean he had lost altogether. He and I were extremely happy together by this stage. On one of the landings, Andronicus pulled me to him and we kissed. His kissing was light and fluttery, compared with how I really liked it, but naturally he was just making overtures for more serious work later…

Up in the office, I ignored the armed chair and we settled side by side on the couch. It seemed the natural place to be. When Andronicus relaxed, with one arm along the back of the furniture, it seemed natural, too, that in due course the arm should slide down around my shoulders. I pretended not to regard it as significant. He pretended not to know he was doing it.

Like anyone who has ever spent a long period as an unloved starveling, I ate my full share. I never waste food. Like any freed-man from a privileged home, the archivist had been spoiled all his life. Whatever the miseries of slavery and of patronage after formal manumission, he had never had to earn his keep. Rome was full of people like him, who knew there would always be free food at home and who gave no thought to waste. He snatched at enough of the pork nuggets to keep him going, then concerned himself with other things.

This meant, first the sliding of the arm. Then, stroking the back of my neck. Then, engaging more closely. He had one hand moving up my left arm, with his fingers encroaching well under my tunic; he had one hand cupping my chin for a kiss. Although my real concentration was elsewhere, I was fumbling with fasteners, to assist him. He was preparing to fondle where I was desperate to be fondled…

I became reacquainted with that thrilling but slightly awkward moment when you adjust to a brand new lover. You are wondering what he will be like. Not quite in tune yet. Not absolutely certain that you have an understanding. Not wanting to admit your own desperate interest, in case you have misjudged his, and end up looking foolish…

Of course I knew. Andronicus was my kind of hero: attractive, amusing, nice-looking, around my own age, of low-class origins and hungry for self-improvement. He made me laugh; how badly I had been missing that. He seemed devoted. We discussed my work, we ate and enjoyed wine together, we were plainly soulmates. I had fallen for him just about as hard as it is possible to fall. The fact that all my family would cluck that I had not known him long enough, and would warn me to be careful, only made the situation swooningly attractive.

As we approached the final moment of full commitment, we were completely wrapped up in each other-yet not too much to be unaware of our surroundings. At exactly the same instant we both heard somebody coming. We pulled apart and tried to look nonchalant.

Normally I heard visitors. Shoes or boots are noticeable if you are an alert person, and after six flights, most people arrived breathless and stumbling noisily. Someone who had managed not to do that was now outside, at the top of the stairs. This person had approached so quietly it could only be on purpose. They had crept up on us and were right outside my door, shamelessly fiddling with the latch.