The Lost

Chapter Twenty-three: Home

John headed for the infirmary, every step seeming to take forever. His feet felt like wood. He’d been a little hard on Zelenka. Yes, ok, he hadn’t wanted Zelenka on the gate team for all of the rational reasons Zelenka had said. He knew perfectly well Radek wasn’t a soldier. And he knew perfectly well that somebody was going to have to look after him when they ran into a firefight. No two ways about that.

But he was brave. When the chips were down he always came through. John had seen that more than two years ago on a spacewalk that had nearly turned deadly. They’d been engaged in a repair that everyone’s lives depended on when micrometeorite had gone through Radek’s leg like a bullet, a serious enough wound in the field even if it hadn’t left him bleeding in vacuum. Radek had kept going and finished the repair. John figured he had what it took when it really mattered.

Yeah, Radek would rather not go offworld. They all had things they’d rather not do. He’d rather not deal with the Genii. But he had to. It was just that everyone was going to have to stretch a little bit, get outside their comfort zone.

The infirmary was pretty quiet. John glanced around. There were lights on and voices from one of the operating theaters in the back, so he ducked around the screen.

Teyla lay in the far bed, her dirty hair spread on the pillow. Sound asleep.

“Colonel Sheppard.” Marie Wu, the Australian nurse who had been with them from the beginning, came around the corner.

“Just wanted to check on my folks, Marie,” John said. “How are Carson and Teyla?’

“Dr. Beckett’s back in surgery right now,” she replied. “His arm is fairly torn up. He’s going to need the wound completely cleaned and then the muscle lined up and sutured with self-absorbing sutures, then the subdermal layers realigned and sutured the same way, then the wound closed with staples.” Marie’s eyes smiled. “Dr. Bauer knocked him out so he’d stop telling him how to do it. Dr. Beckett is the worst patient on the base!”

“I guess he is,” John said. “How’s Teyla?”

Marie glanced back toward her bed. “Her hip’s not broken. It’s a pretty serious bone bruise, but there’s no fracture. I’m sure it’s very painful. She’ll need to take it easy for a few weeks, but there’s not anything we can do for it except let it heal and give her ibuprofen to reduce pain. She doesn’t actually need to stay overnight, but we gave her a shot of Demerol to take the edge off while we did the MRI, and she was out like a light.”

“Yeah, she hasn’t had much rest in a few days.” He looked around Marie at Teyla, who looked very small in the white bed, her face relaxed in sleep.

“She can go when she wakes up,” Marie said, “But she’s going to need to be careful and ease back into activities. I’m not sure if Dr. Bauer will clear her for offworld missions yet.”

John nodded. “Well, the next thing is taking this Ancient warship to the Genii homeworld, so she could sit this one out. That’s probably the best thing. She could get some rest and have some down time.”

“Da!”

John spun around. Dr. Kusanagi was in the doorway holding on to Torren, who was appropriately wearing a t-shirt with a wrecking ball on it. Dr. Kusanagi certainly looked wrecked.

“Colonel Sheppard,” she said, her hair coming out of its long black ponytail in disorderly clumps, “Can you please take Torren? I have had him for several hours, but Dr. Zelenka is shouting at me that I must get out there with a team and start repairing the Ancient warship, and Torren wants his mother and he has destroyed the lab and…”

John reached down and scooped up Torren, who grabbed his ear as an easy handle and threw his other arm around his neck. “Sure. How’re you doing, buddy?”

“Momma!”

John held him so that he could see around the screen. “Your mom’s asleep right now. She got very, very tired on the mission, so let’s let her sleep.”

“He’s been changed, not that it did much good as he had an accident in the lab and…” Dr. Kusanagi was still running on harriedly.

Torren turned big brown eyes to him. “Momma hurt?” he asked. He’d probably already heard that she was.

“Your mom fell and hurt her leg. You know how we always tell you to be careful and not fall because you might get hurt?” John asked. “She’s going to be ok, but her leg hurts where she fell on it and she needs to rest.”

“She ok?”

“Yes, she’ll be just fine,” John said. “She was very brave, and she walked a long way after she got hurt, until she couldn’t walk anymore.”

Torren regarded him solemnly. “Then what?”

The simple answer was the truthful one. “I carried her.”

Torren nodded. “Ok.”

“He hasn’t had his dinner, and Dr. Zelenka is yelling at me on the radio every three minutes…” Dr. Kusanagi was still going. Obviously Radek was passing on his bad day too.

“It’s ok,” John said. “I’ll take Torren. Thank you for watching him. I know Teyla appreciates it a bunch.”

“You are very welcome.” She essayed a smile, unclipping her hair clip and trying to smooth her hair back into some semblance of order. “I do not mind watching Torren some. It is just that today…”

“I know. It got busy. Thank you.” Torren grabbed his hair for balance. “Have fun with the warship. She’s a sweet ship!”

“I will enjoy it a lot,” Kusanagi said, retying her hair. “I like the Ancient systems better than many things. And they like me.”

“Yeah, that gene thing comes in handy,” John said. “The Avenger’s pretty friendly, if you know what I mean. I think she’s kind of glad to be salvaged. She’s a mess, but you know, glad to be back.”

“I do indeed know what you mean,” Kusanagi said with a smile. “They have personality, the Ancient things. They know what they like.”

He wouldn’t normally talk this way, not like things were people, but Miko got it. He thought the city talked to her too. Not really talking, of course. But almost.

She leaned forward and planted a kiss on Torren’s brow, looking considerably more cheerful. “Have a good dinner and good night, sweet boy. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye bye,” Torren said cooperatively, looking as though he’d been a little angel all along.

There was nothing in the world John wanted as much as his own bed, except maybe a shower, but Torren hadn’t had his dinner. “Ok, buddy. Let’s go to the mess and find some food.” He looked at Marie. “When Teyla wakes up, would you tell her I’ve got Torren, and I’m going to get him some dinner and put him to bed?’

“Of course,” Marie said. He wondered why she and Kusanagi were smirking at each other like that, except maybe that Torren was very cute.

Dinner.

One hot dog, plain, hot dog and bun clearly separated on the tray so that they didn’t touch each other. One fruit cup. One carton of 2 per cent milk. One plate of spaghetti with…tava bean sauce? John regarded the sauce curiously. Yep. Those were tava beans. Kind of like a puttanesca sauce, only with tava beans instead of olives. Ok. Why not? Sometimes Sergeant Pollard got creative with local ingredients with disastrous results, but this actually worked pretty well.

John ate one handed, the other one trying to keep a slithering toddler from sliding off his lap and running through the mess hall with hot dog in hand. The world was all getting a little blurry, but food would help. Food, shower, sleep.

“You know,” John said contemplatively, “You could try sitting in a chair and being still. Some people do that while they eat?”

“Why?”

At the moment John couldn’t think of a single good reason. “I dunno.”

“Ok then,” Torren said in exactly Teyla’s tone of voice.

Torren’s elaborate Athosian cradle was long since outgrown and returned to New Athos for some other baby to sleep in. Now he slept in what John couldn’t help but think of as a playpen, a framework full of blankets and stuffed toys on the floor in the front room of Teyla’s quarters. Teyla said the framework was to keep Athosian children from straying, which pretty much made it a playpen.

Diaper. Footy pyjamas. Giant stuffed frog. John turned the lights down. “Now get some sleep, buddy. Ok?”

Torren sat watching him like he had every intention of wreaking havoc the moment John was out of sight.

“I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be in here.” Where presumably he’d hear bloodcurdling screams.

Teyla had a nice bathroom. He’d always thought so, even when he wasn’t quite so loopy. The lights were starting to get coronas around them. At this rate they were going to start getting the wedge of lime too.

But the city made the water just the right temperature, and he stood under it for a long time, letting the sand and the mission wash off. Ok, it was a little weird to smell like Teyla’s jasmine shampoo, but that’s what there was. And she’d probably kill him for messing up her razor, but he had to shave if he was ever going on duty again. Which he was. Sooner than he’d like. Though mercifully Woolsey hadn’t called him to the gateroom for Dahlia to dial out to the Genii homeworld and talk to her brother. Or maybe Dahlia actually wanted some sleep too.

When he got out of the shower Torren was asleep, curled up with his big stuffed frog. John tucked the blanket around him and put on a clean t shirt and sweat pants. Bed. Teyla wouldn’t mind. He’d be up and out of here long before she was awake, with a shot of Demerol. And she wouldn’t care if he slept in her quarters when he was keeping an eye on Torren.

He left the door open to the outer room and fell onto her bed, still present enough to tug the coverlet up before his eyes closed on sheets that smelled like her.

Once back in Atlantis, the debriefing felt to Jennifer like it took nearly as long as the mission itself had taken, but when Jennifer finished telling him what they’d said and done, she thought Woolsey was at least cautiously pleased with their results.

“I sincerely hope Todd actually can provide us with information about the location of Queen Death’s ship,” Woolsey said.

“He said he’d contact us when he knew something. But even if he doesn’t actually come through with anything, at least now we know which hive ship we’re looking for,” Jennifer said. “If this Queen Death is the leader of a big alliance, there have to be people out there who know where she is.”

“Unless he’s lying about who’s got McKay,” Ronon put in. “I don’t think he’d be very sorry if we could take Queen Death out of the picture for him.”

“That may be, but if he were trying to encourage us to launch a full-scale attack against her hive ship, this isn’t the best way,” Woolsey said. “We can’t just go in guns blazing and have any chance of pulling off a rescue. I’m going to ask Colonel Sheppard for his recommendations for getting a small strike team aboard a hive, once we’re actually in a position to find it.”

“Is Sheppard back?” Ronon asked.

“He is,” Woolsey said. He didn’t look particularly pleased. “I suppose you haven’t had a chance to see the Ancient warship parked out on the pier.”

“Is everyone all right?” Jennifer asked.

“Actually, no,” Woolsey said. “Dr. Beckett sustained a fairly serious injury to his arm, and Teyla is also in the infirmary, although I’m told she mainly needs rest. We’ve also been given twenty-four hours to return the warship to Ladon Radim, and not incidentally return Radim’s sister along with it, or face unspecified unpleasant consequences.”

“Well, okay,” Jennifer said. “It sounds like everybody’s been busy.”

Woolsey smiled tightly. “Very.”

“I should go down and check on Carson and Teyla,” she said.

“And then you ought to get some rest,” Woolsey said, with a more genuine smile. “This is the best lead we have so far, and we’re definitely going to pursue it.”

Jennifer couldn’t help wishing their return had been just a little more triumphant than that. On the other hand, they had returned in one piece, which had seemed like a close question for a while. Ronon followed her out of Woolsey’s office, and there was a moment as they walked toward the transport chambers when neither of them seemed sure what to say.

“Are we good?” Ronon said finally once they’d stopped to wait for the transport chamber to be free.

“We’re good,” Jennifer said, with as much of a smile as she could manage at that point.

Ronon nodded. “I’m going to go get some sleep,” he said, and stepped into the transport chamber. “You headed the same way?”

“I’m actually going down to the infirmary, so…” she said, trailing off a little awkwardly and letting him go on without her. It was actually tempting to head straight for her quarters; it was early morning now Atlantis time, and she’d have to be up again later in the day. But patients came first. She waited until the transport chamber was empty again and took it down to the infirmary.

Carson was more than happy to tell her the whole gory story of his injuries, giant carnivorous reptiles and all; he made a restless patient, and it probably didn’t help that he knew full well he was going to be staying put for a while. She rummaged around while he talked until she found an energy bar and an abandoned fruit cup that she could consider dinner. Or maybe one was lunch and the other was dinner.

“You should be off to your own bed,” Carson said finally. She didn’t say that she would have been happily in it by now if he hadn’t been so eager to tell her his war stories. She’d learned by now that listening to everyone’s war stories was part of her job.

“Try and get some more sleep yourself,” she said.

Carson leaned back discontentedly. “Well, I haven’t got much else to do, have I? I should have let my mum teach me how to knit. She always says it helps her pass the time.”

“I can sort of knit,” Jennifer said. “Maybe we could get some craft supplies in here to improve patient morale.”

“I can just see Colonel Sheppard doing a nice bit of crochet,” Carson said. “Perhaps a sort of a gun cozy.”

“I don’t think they make knitting patterns for holsters,” Jennifer said. “I could ask around.”