The Lost

Chapter 16

The kitchen was open-plan, with a double-size range cooker and gleaming appliances. There were no pictures fixed to the door of the huge fridge, but on one wall was a large, framed photo montage of the two children laughing and smiling. On beaches, in the garden, blowing out birthday candles: a compendium of happy memories. With a pang, Jonah looked away.

A young woman with dark hair was by a vast granite-topped island. She gave a professionally polite smile as they entered, a flicker of surprise registering when she saw Jonah.

‘Harry and Abigail said it was OK for them to have an hour on PlayStation,’ she said to Chrissie, opting to pretend he wasn’t there. Jonah recognised the voice and accent as the woman he’d spoken to earlier.

‘They can have half an hour before homework,’ Chrissie told her, hanging her handbag over the back of a bar stool at the island. The young woman allowed herself another glance at Jonah, unsuccessfully trying to hide her curiosity.

‘Would you like me to make a coffee...?’

‘No, thank you, Rosa. You’d better go and see what the twins are doing.’

The young woman bobbed her head and left. Jonah watched her go.

‘Before you start, she just helps out,’ Chrissie snapped. ‘Loads of people have nannies these days.’

‘I wasn’t going to say anything.’ Jonah had more sense than to pass comment. ‘So how old are the twins?’

Chrissie’s smile was reflexive, softening her face. ‘Six. Abigail’s the oldest. Only by two minutes, but you’d think it was two years.’

‘Congratulations.’

‘You wouldn’t say that if they were yours,’ she said, but her smile vanished as she realised what she’d said. ‘I didn’t mean—’

‘I know.’ He found himself feeling sorry for her. He nodded at the framed family montage on the wall. ‘They look like great kids.’

‘Thanks.’ The strain was back. Turning away, she took a jar of ground coffee from a cupboard. ‘You might as well sit down.’

Jonah took one of the bar stools at the granite island. He noticed that she hadn’t asked what he wanted. Old habits.

‘I’m sorry about Gavin,’ she said, without looking at him. ‘Have they caught who did it?’

‘Not yet.’

She began spooning coffee into a cafetière. ‘How’s Marie?’

‘About as you’d expect. It was the memorial service yesterday.’

‘I heard. I thought about going, but after all this time... You know.’

He did. He doubted Marie knew what had happened between her friend and her husband, but it would still be difficult for Chrissie to face her again.

‘I hadn’t realised you’d kept in contact.’

She didn’t add with Gavin but she didn’t need to.

‘Actually, that’s sort of why I’m here. The police might want to talk to you.’

‘To me?’

He took a breath. ‘I had to tell them about you and Gavin.’

She stopped and stared at him. ‘Why the fuck would you do that?’

‘They wanted to know why I stopped talking to him.’

‘Jesus Christ! That’s just fucking great!’

‘Look, it wasn’t much fun for me either, but I didn’t have any choice. They just want you to corroborate what happened.’

‘Oh, is that all? And what if I don’t want to corroborate anything?’

‘Then they’ll keep coming back until you do.’

‘God, I don’t believe this! It was years ago, why does it even matter anymore?’

‘Oh, I don’t know, maybe because Gavin was murdered? Someone beat him to death and took away his body, so I’m sorry if any of this inconveniences you!’

Silence. They were both red in the face, breathing heavily. A movement in the doorway caught his eye. The young nanny was looking at them anxiously from the hallway.

‘Is everything OK, Mrs Waverly?’

Chrissie composed herself. ‘Everything’s fine, thank you, Rosa.’

Chrissie closed the door behind her.

‘That’s going to be all around the snobby mummy brigade this time tomorrow.’

Jonah rubbed the back of his neck, where the muscles had started to knot. ‘Sorry.’

‘That makes two of us.’ She put her head back and closed her eyes. ‘I knew, I knew I shouldn’t have let you in.’

But there was no heat in the statement, or any hostility in her face now. Only weariness. Chrissie seemed to have aged ten years from the confident woman he’d seen outside.

‘There’s more,’ he told her.

‘Of course there is. No, just wait,’ she said, before he could go on. ‘I want to be sitting down before I hear it.’

Jonah remained silent while she poured two coffees into bone china mugs. ‘Still no milk or sugar?’

‘No thanks.’

She set the mug in front of him and sat down across the island. ‘All right, let’s hear it.’

‘There’s a suspect. It’s Owen Stokes.’

He watched her face change. ‘You mean the man they thought took Theo? I don’t understand...’

She wasn’t alone in that. Sparingly, leaving out anything that wasn’t strictly relevant, Jonah told her what he knew. It felt strange. He’d never discussed cases with Chrissie when they’d been married. Even if he’d wanted to take his work home with him, she wouldn’t have wanted to hear about it.

Chrissie’s expression grew more strained as she listened. She crossed her arms even tighter, as though to ward off what he was saying.

‘Nobody’s mentioned this before. How come this is the first I’ve heard about it?’

‘They didn’t know it was Stokes until they got the DNA results. And now I think a lot of people are worried how it looks. No one is clear about what happened, so now it’s about damage limitation until they’ve a better idea what they’re dealing with.’

‘But why was Gavin even at the warehouse unless—’ Her face had paled. ‘Oh, Jesus.’

‘We don’t know anything for sure,’ Jonah said gently, knowing what was going through her mind.

She wasn’t listening. ‘The inquest said no one else was involved, it was an accident! Now, after ten years, it turns out this — this Stokes actually took my son?’

‘We don’t know that for sure,’ Jonah said, aware he’d somehow stepped into the role Fletcher had occupied. ‘Everyone insists the enquiry’s findings still stand. Gavin was... he was going through a bad time, so maybe when he came across Stokes again he just jumped to conclusions.’

‘Is that what you think?’

He started to say I don’t know, but the words stuck in his throat. He shook his head.

‘No.’

‘I can’t believe this is happening.’ Chrissie closed her eyes. ‘God, I feel sick.’

‘Are you OK...?’ He began to get up.

But she shook her head, hand raised to stop him. He sat back down again, knowing there was nothing he could say that would help. She looked down at the granite island top.

‘It never ends, does it? You try to move on, but...’ Her eyes were brimming. ‘I still miss him, you know. I know you thought I didn’t care, but I did.’

‘I didn’t—’

‘Yes, you did. It was always you he wanted. It didn’t matter if I was there or not. But I was his mum. He was mine as well as yours. There’s not a day goes by when I don’t think about him. And what happened.’ She shook her head, as though dispelling whatever images had been conjured up. ‘I hated you, you know.’

‘Chrissie—’

‘It’s all right, I’m past that now. But I did. It felt like you’d come between us while he was alive, and then you let this... this fucking unbelievable, awful thing happen. You, the one he idolised! I couldn’t bear it, I just... I just wanted to hurt you, any way I could.’

‘Is that why you slept with Gavin?’

She gave him another look, but she’d no appetite for a fight either.

‘I felt worthless. I’d lost my little boy, my marriage was a wreck. I just wanted the whole nightmare to stop. Just for a few minutes. So when Gavin came round again, I just thought... why not? I knew I’d hate myself even more afterwards, but that was the point. I did it to spite myself as much as you.’

Jonah felt raw. Although he’d not gone there to have this conversation, it was a long time coming.

‘You said when Gavin came round “again”? What did you mean?’

She gave him a pitying look. ‘You seriously think that was the only time he tried it on?’

‘Why didn’t you say something?’

‘And how would that have gone down? If I’d tried telling you your precious best buddy was wanting to get into my pants, you’d have said I was just causing trouble. You’d have believed him rather than me any day.’

‘That’s not true.’

‘No? Admit it, you still don’t want to believe it even now, do you?’

She was right: he didn’t. Chrissie shook her head.

‘See? You always did have a blind spot where he was concerned. And don’t think he didn’t use that. He always put himself first, but you never could see it.’

Oh, believe me, I did, he thought, but let it pass. With an almost imperceptible sigh, Chrissie straightened.

‘So what happens now?’

‘I don’t know,’ he admitted, then broke off as the kitchen door burst open. Two small whirlwinds swept in.

‘Mummy, Harry won’t let me have my go!’

‘I will, you’re just rubbish!’

‘I’m not, you’re cheating! Tell him he can’t—’

They stopped when they saw Jonah, identical expressions of surprise on not quite identical faces.

‘Abigail, Harry, this is Jonah. He’s a friend of Mummy’s,’ Chrissie told them. ‘What do you say?’

There were shy smiles and ‘Hello’s. Jonah found himself looking for any echoes of his son in the upturned features.

He wondered if they knew about their half-brother.

‘Mummy, tell Harry I can have a turn!’ the little girl said, turning away from Jonah now the novelty had worn off.

‘No, that’s not fair!’

‘OK, enough,’ Chrissie declared. ‘Where’s Rosa?’

On cue the young woman hurried into the kitchen, looking harried. ‘Sorry, Mrs Waverly, I only stepped out to take a phone call—’

‘Never mind, just get them started on their homework, I’ll be along in a minute.’

Jonah waited until the young woman had ushered her charges out. ‘I should go,’ he said.

Chrissie didn’t argue. She glanced back down the hallway, making sure no one could hear.

‘Should I be worried?’

‘You mean about Owen Stokes? I can’t see why you should be.’

‘You’ve just told me he killed Gavin and three other people, and he broke into Marie’s house yesterday. After Theo...’ She stopped, unable to say it.

‘That was different,’ Jonah told her, putting as much conviction as he could into it. ‘Gavin put himself in Stokes’s crosshairs when he started following him. Stokes doesn’t know anything about you, and there’s no reason for him to care if he did.’

She nodded, but still looked unconvinced as she opened the door. Jonah went out, pausing to turn when he’d negotiated the step.

‘Good to see you again, Chrissie.’

From the look on her face, he wasn’t sure she felt the same way.

‘Watch yourself, Jonah,’ she told him, closing the door.