The Oath

4

I spent that year in great anticipation. When the first hairs sprouted on my cheeks and upper lip I would be a man and go to visit my grandfather Autolykos on the mainland. Euriclea explained that my grandfather had other sons who were my uncles and that they were formidable warriors as well. I had stopped thinking about the disturbing things I’d heard about my grandfather and was very curious to look him in the eye, and to meet my uncles and my grandmother as well. I dreamed about how I’d soon be entering an impregnable fortress on a rock nearly as high as Mount Parnassus and how I would explore its every corner and learn its every secret.

Mentor had told me that Parnassus was the place most beloved by the god Apollo, who lived there with the Muses. How had my grandfather dared to build his palace on a peak so high it challenged the mountain of the gods? Why had Apollo tolerated it?

As I approached manhood, my father turned me over to an instructor who would train me in the art of hunting and managing the hounds. He was a powerfully built man of about forty, greying at the temples, a native from the plains of Thessaly. His name was Damastes. He had been Jason’s shield-bearer on the Argo expedition and in Colchis. I could barely understand a word he said, but he made his will known well enough by shouting and caning me on the back and shoulders. It took me nearly three months to learn to track deer, boar, hare and wild goats, and to begin to master the bow and the javelin. By the time summer came, there was enough hair on my upper lip and cheek to give my face a hint of a shadow.

The eve of the great day arrived in no time: my father had chosen the summer solstice. That night my mother came to my room and told me a strange story: ‘Tomorrow you’ll be going to see your grandfather. Well, do you remember when you were little, and you asked me how I met your father? You wanted to know more and I told you, “Not yet. I’ll tell you when you are old enough to understand.” Remember? Well. That time has come. There’s something you need to know.’

My mother had a cold light in her eyes when she began speaking again. She said: ‘I was a young girl myself when one night, as I was sleeping soundly, I was woken by strange noises coming from a room that I’d always been forbidden to enter. I’d only been sleeping by myself, in my own bed, for a bit longer than a year, and I was terrified. The noise sounded like a muffled growling or snarling, as if a big animal were trapped inside and trying to escape. I made my way down the corridor without making a sound until I realized that the door to the room was half open and that the moon’s rays were streaming through. Even though I was scared to death, I felt compelled to look inside. I saw something that I’ll never forget. My father was writhing on the floor like a wounded animal. The growling I had heard was coming from his own mouth. His limbs were covered with coarse hair. At that moment — maybe because he’d felt my presence — he leapt outside. I ran to the window and saw a wolf crossing the courtyard and disappearing into the forest.’

I wanted to ask her if she was certain she hadn’t been dreaming but I already knew the answer: if she’d decided to tell me now it was because she thought that what she had seen was real.

‘I wanted you to know. Now you decide whether you want to depart on this journey.’

‘More than ever, mother,’ I answered.

‘Then I have something for you to give my father. There’s a message inside.’ Saying thus, she held out a small clay amphora. It was tiny, fitting in the palm of her hand.

‘I’ll give it to him from you, mother.’

She gave me a hug and a kiss and turned to go back to her bedroom.

The next day it was my father who woke me and walked me down to the port.

‘You’ll leave alone, like a man,’ he told me. ‘You will journey by sea and then by land, until you reach the palace of Autolykos. .’

‘He himself is a wolf,’ I repeated in my heart.

‘You will find your way up to the eagle’s nest. You’ll enter the wolfs lair.’

Everyone came to the port to see me off: my parents the king and queen, my nurse Euriclea, who was weeping and wiping her eyes with a handkerchief, Mentor, who was cross because he could not leave with me, Damastes, who gave me three javelins and girded a dagger at my waist. It was sheathed in a bronze scabbard with fine silver decorations, the work of a craftsman from Same who had presented it to the king.

‘Your grandfather will surely take you hunting, which is the only pastime befitting a king or a prince,’ said my father. ‘He likes to hunt boar because it reminds him of a dreadful beast that was brought down by all the greatest kings and heroes of Achaia together: the boar of Calydon. A monster, he was. A gigantic, bloodthirsty specimen with enormous tusks, keen-edged as swords. He will certainly tell you the story even though he himself was not invited to the hunt. . the only king to be excluded, I believe.’

We were waiting for the wind to turn, favourable to filling the sail and taking the ship out of the port. The sky was clear and cloudless, the sun was mirrored in the gulf as if by a polished silver plate. Oh, Ithaca. .

‘The boar was killed by Meleager of Aetolia, one of my comrades on the Argo,’ added Damastes. ‘Beware, a boar is one of the most dangerous animals on earth. It is lightning swift and when it charges it can mow down any obstacle, even a horse five times its weight. When the hounds close in, a male can easily disembowel them all with his tusks. If you hear one coming, seek cover and get ready. . If you see it coming from a distance, use your bow: you may not kill it but you’ll slow it down, and when it comes into range hurl your javelin with all your might.’

‘Take care, my son,’ said my father and he hugged me. I kissed my mother and she held me tight. Euriclea would not stop crying.

‘Stop your weeping, mai, that’s bad luck!’

The helmsman nodded to me as the sailors were hoisting the sail and I jumped onto the ship. My mother’s eyes were moist as well but she maintained her dignity. As the ship took off from the shore she said to me: ‘Remember the message I gave you for my father!’

‘Of course I will!’ I answered and waved goodbye to her.

My first journey.

I was leaving Ithaca for the first time. I would see the mainland approaching, feel the sea crashing against the stones on the shore and who knows what else. How small the king and the queen and all the others were becoming as we moved out into the open sea!

The wind remained in our favour and before night fell we dropped anchor in a little natural harbour.

‘That’s your grandfather,’ said the helmsman, pointing to a man on the shore. He was grey-haired but his body was lean and muscular. He wore a raw wool robe with a leather belt and was armed with a sword and spear. Flanking him were two warriors taller than he was, with long black beards, bushy eyebrows and hairy arms. I jumped out and walked over the pebbles and then on the sand towards him.

‘Wanax, you who possess this land,’ I said, ‘I am Odysseus, son of Laertes who rules over Ithaca. I’ve come because fifteen years ago you invited me to go hunting with you.’

‘Where did you learn to talk that way, boy?’ he replied. ‘You sound like an old master of ceremonies. I know who you are and I’ve been expecting you. I’m your grandfather and that’s what I want to be called. These are two of your uncles, brothers of your mother. Come now, dinner is waiting.’

We got into a chariot as the sky was darkening and the sea becoming streaked with purple, and set off on a path that led up the mountainside. A fierce sadness welled up inside me because I was riding off with strangers whom I’d never met before. I couldn’t help but think of the palace where my parents and all the servants lived, of the dinner that my nurse would prepare for me and set on the table. But then my curiosity at meeting these people and seeing places I’d never seen before won out.

‘Don’t you have anything to say to your grandfather?’ asked Autolykos. He was sitting in front of me, but didn’t turn around.

‘I’ve waited a long time for this day,’ I answered.

‘Why?’

‘A man who makes an invitation fifteen years ahead of time isn’t an ordinary person. And if that man is my grandfather, it means a part of him is in me and I’d like to know which.’

‘Have you been told who I am? The most wicked of men: thief, liar, bloodthirsty plunderer and oath-breaker.’

‘I’ve heard those things. . but my parents have always spoken of you with respect. And they told me that it was you who gave me my name.’

‘That’s right. Because I was full of hatred for everyone.’

I couldn’t say anything else. I wasn’t ready to know the reason for such bitterness.

My uncles didn’t say a word for the whole journey. Their eyes never stopped darting around and their hands stayed on the hilts of their swords. In the end, we reached a house of stone which was set back in a clearing in a thick oak wood and we spent the night there after eating some bread and cheese with a cup of red wine.

‘Tomorrow you’ll eat better,’ said my grandfather and I nodded my head as if to say that anything was fine with me. I was surprised that we’d stopped in such a solitary, unprotected place, but then I thought that grandfather Autolykos had such a terrible reputation that no one would dare come close unless they had sufficient forces to attack or challenge him.

I slept in a bed that smelled of pinewood and I woke up several times in the middle of the night, roused by the sounds coming from outside: grunts, whistles, the cries of nocturnal animals. My hand fell on my dagger more than once. The second time I awoke I saw a sight I would never forget: the peak of Mount Parnassus lit by the full moon. A thin cloud was passing across the snow-topped peak and the reflected moonlight created a play of translucence that enthralled me. I would have climbed to the peak, then and there, but I was certain my grandfather had already done that, and that he knew everything that a mortal man could possibly know. The time after that I was awakened by a rustling of wings: an owl had settled on the windowsill. I got out of bed but she didn’t move. I took a few steps towards her but the bird just seemed to regard me with curiosity. Why didn’t she fly away? We looked at one another for a long time, or maybe a short time, a time suspended, unreal. Maybe I was dreaming. But today I am sure it was my first encounter with my green-eyed goddess, Athena. .

Where are you?

The sky was light long before the sun rose from behind the mountains and I went outside. The birds were beginning to twitter and when I turned towards the sea I saw the blue expanse stretching out before me, rippling in the morning breeze, and the tips of the islands being lit up by the sun, one after another.

‘The one down there that’s still dark, that’s Ithaca, your island,’ said a voice behind me. ‘Do you know why it’s still dark? Because the peak of the mountain behind us is still covering it with its shadow.’

‘Pappo,’ I said, turning around and amazing myself at my use of such an intimate, familiar word with a man who despite being my mother’s father was a stranger to me.

He smiled saying: ‘Pai. .’ and gave me a piece of pork. ‘This is food for men, have some.’

I was finally eating meat and bread for breakfast. I could consider myself a man. ‘Pappo,’ I started up again, ‘have you ever been up there, on the peak?’ pointing to the summit of Mount Parnassus.

‘I certainly have. And I didn’t see anyone playing a lyre surrounded by nine beautiful maidens.’

I dropped my head. ‘Even if they were there you couldn’t have seen them. We mortals don’t have the power to command the waves of the sea or the wind, to stop the stars from wandering in the sky, to change the cycle of the seasons or to defeat death. There’s someone, I think, who rules our world. Someone who’s there but doesn’t show himself, except in disguise.’

‘Listen to my words well, pai: I’ve challenged them time and time again and they’ve never taken me up on it. I’ve done every evil thing a man can do: I’ve murdered, terrorized entire regions and cities, sworn oaths that I immediately broke, and no one has ever punished me. I’m strong and powerful and afraid of no one. If they’ve never answered, you know what? They don’t exist.’

I thought about his words for a few moments and replied: ‘They’ve never even noticed you.’ Challenging the gods is somethingelse.

He said nothing.

We resumed our journey up to the highest part of the mountains and finally reached the home of Autolykos: a palace made of big squared-off boulders like my father’s, surrounded by a wall with a single entrance. When we went inside I saw that someone had got there before us: the servants had killed a bull and were quartering it. ‘Our lunch,’ I thought, ‘and maybe our dinner too.’ A big fire was blazing in the middle of the room and the meat was already roasting on spits. We ate and drank until late that night but I held back; I didn’t want to get drunk or overload my stomach. I’d always preferred to feel vigilant and at the ready. Ready for what exactly, I couldn’t say, but my instincts have always made me careful. I considered who my table companions were: only my uncles and my grandfather were present at the banquet, because — I thought — they could trust no one else. I participated in the conversation when I could. Especially when they talked about the next day’s boar hunt.

‘It’s a dangerous pursuit,’ said my grandfather. ‘Have you ever taken part?’

‘King Laertes my father. .’

‘Whoever taught you to talk that way?’

‘Mentor, my educator. I was saying that my father engaged a Thessalian instructor to train me. In the use of the bow, dagger and javelin.’

‘So how many boars have you killed?’

‘None.’

My grandfather broke out laughing, imitated by his sons. One of them gave me a slap on the back that nearly sent me sprawling. I turned sharply and gave him the sternest look I could, letting him know he should never try that again.

‘Tomorrow you will kill one. The first of your life, but not with those needles you carried here with you. You’ll need this to stop a three-hundred-pound beast.’ He got up, went to the wall and took down a heavy, solid spear. He threw it at me and I caught it in flight. ‘But tomorrow you could die instead,’ he continued. ‘Shall I have someone take you back to the port? You’re still in time.’

‘Have them wake me before dawn,’ I replied and began walking off, spear in hand, towards my room. Before entering, I turned. ‘I have a question for you too. Why weren’t you invited to hunt the boar of Calydon? All of the greatest heroes of Achaia were there.’

‘Tomorrow night, if you’re still alive, you’ll have understood on your own.’

What did he mean by that? I went to bed but kept hearing the laughing and shouting of the revellers until sleep won me over.

There was no need to wake me the next day. The dogs barking, the servants calling to one another, the weapons clanging; all roused me when it was still dark. I got dressed, put on my leather corselet and wristband, pulled my belt across my hips, added my dagger, grabbed the spear in my hand and slung my bow, two javelins and a quiver over my shoulder.

‘I see you’ve decided to come,’ said my grandfather when he saw me appear. ‘We’ll see how you handle yourself. Follow me.’

We walked alongside one another in silence through the forest. I kept thinking of the things he’d said to me the night before and he was surely aware of that. Before the sky started to turn white we had reached a clearing and we stopped there.

‘By this time,’ said grandfather, ‘my sons will have taken position and the beaters will be on the other side of the forest. There are three trails that the boars always favour: the biggest pack come from the south, and will be driven towards my sons, the small pack tend to come up along the little stream we just crossed and they’re for me. Any that separate from the rest will end up here and you’ll be waiting for them. Don’t move from this position; this is the only spot from which you’ll be able to take aim.’ He picked up some boar droppings and rubbed them on my legs and arms: ‘This way they won’t smell you. The wind is against us. Remember: you’ll find them in front of you.’

He walked back towards the stream and disappeared among the oaks. I looked around and tried to apply Damastes’ advice. I needed to seek cover behind a tree trunk to stay safe but the nearest trees were all far in front of me. The ones behind me were at least a hundred paces away and that was too far. I felt like calling my grandfather back to ask him how I could find a safe position but I was ashamed. I had no choice but to remain where I was. I looked around to work out how I could protect myself if one of those animals charged me, but all I could see was a small depression in the ground. In the distance I could hear horns blaring and sticks knocking and thrashing. The beaters! From the sound of it, there must be more than one boar. I gripped my spear tightly. My heart started pounding but I tried to control it. The sounds were getting closer. Without even realizing what I was doing, I had instinctively begun taking steps backwards. I would need more room to take aim.

All at once, a rush of broken branches and uprooted underbrush. I drew my bow and assumed my stance, planting myself firmly with my legs wide apart. Nothing. More branches snapping. I backed up. Nothing. Drops of sweat dripped into my eyes, burning them. Then a group of boar suddenly broke into the clearing at a gallop. Not in front of me, not behind me, but at my left side. I turned that way but the rising sun blinded me. I let fly regardless and a female collapsed abruptly. Instantly a dark shadow, enormous, loomed; I hurled my spear. A tremendous snort of pain. I threw myself on the ground and found him on top of me. A gigantic male. I felt an acute, agonizing spasm and was overwhelmed by a foul stench. With my right hand I pulled the dagger from my belt and plunged it hilt-deep into the animal’s belly. I was drenched in blood. I neither saw nor heard anything else.

It was my pain that awoke me, piercing, at the bottom of my thigh, near my knee. I opened my eyes and saw.

A mighty albino ram, with great curving horns, enormous horns. Perhaps I was dreaming. But the pain was real and getting stronger. I was lying on the ground in the middle of the grass. I was all covered with blood. A voice:

‘You’ve killed your first boar.’

The voice of Autolykos, my grandfather.

‘Is it real?’

‘What?’

‘That.’ I pointed to the ram standing absolutely still in front of me.

‘The ram. Of course. He’s the leader of my herd. He’s magnificent. No other ram this big exists. I stole him from the Aetolians who live in the interior. They offered to pay a ransom to have him back but I refused.’

‘It hurts, so much. .’

‘The boar ripped your thigh open,’ he said, and turned away.

A downpour of water hit me. Then another and another. They were taking buckets of water from the stream nearby and throwing them over me. I was being washed.

Autolykos reappeared and in his hand was a red-hot knife. ‘I have to cauterize your wound and sew you up or you’ll die. Don’t scream, it irritates me.’

The blade burned my flesh, the pain rent my heart, my eyes clouded over.

Only the albino ram remained, a white vision standing out against the darkness.