The Only One

Chapter 19

Luckily John didn’t stick around all morning, so I didn’t have to attempt to get ready with him at my apartment. Not that I minded having him around, but there were certain things I wasn’t prepared for him to see yet, like my beauty rituals. Especially after sharing a small studio apartment with my sister for a week. I needed my space to get prepped for tonight.

Valerie would spend hours in the bathroom every morning, even though we were just sitting around the house. I was more laid back and usually just showered and wore sweats. But tonight was going to be different. I was ready to get out of my sick clothes and have a night out with John.

As usual, I never knew what to wear, but instead of scouring my closet, I just put on the first outfit that looked half way decent and that I wouldn’t freeze in: black skinny jeans, riding boots, a teal tank top, gray cardigan, and a flannel scarf. Valerie got the scarf for me for Christmas last year and said it was by some famous designer that I’d never heard of. I actually never wore it and only found it when I was searching through my sock drawer for a clean pair. It was probably time to drag my stuff to the laundry room downstairs, or to Monica’s. I had an irrational fear that someone was going to steal my underwear out of the laundry room and tried to avoid it at all costs.

At around six, a knock came at my door, but I was putting on the last of my lip gloss so I just yelled, “come in!”

I fluffed my hair one last time, all the while expecting him to open the door, but nothing happened. Maybe it wasn’t John?

Confused, I walked to the door and opened it. He stood there with that lopsided grin on his face looking every bit of yummy in a black NorthFace jacket and faded jeans. I thought only teen girls wore NorthFace jackets, but the way it hugged John’s biceps made it look way too good to ever be worn by some girl with braces at a Justin Bieber concert.

“I yelled for you to come in. Didn’t you hear me?” I raised an eyebrow.

“I told you, Red, I’m trying to do this the right way. I was waiting for you to answer the door like normal people do on a first date.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “Since when has anything we’ve done been normal? This is probably one of the most effed up relationships or friendships or whatever this is.”

He crossed the threshold and put his hands on my shoulders and then slowly slid them down until he laced our fingers together. “Maybe normal is overrated, but I thought we could at least try this and see how it goes. It couldn’t hurt, right?”

“I guess you’re right.” I ran my thumb along his. “Does this mean you brought me flowers and chocolate?”

“D’oh” He tilted his head back and made a lemon face. “No.” He looked back down at me with the smile returning to his face. “Sorry, I fail at being a good first date.”

“I guess I can forgive you. This time.” I leaned up on my tippy toes to kiss him, but he backed away. Did my breath smell bad? I brushed my teeth twice.

“Whoa, no kissing on the first date. Well, at least not the first minute of the first date.”

I rolled my eyes. “Seriously? We’re going to go that far?”

“Yep.” He let go of one of my hands and opened the door. “But if you play your cards right you may get one later.”

We drove off campus and farther into town. The only times I’d ever gone off campus were to shop at the mall or grocery store. I may have grown up less than an hour from Central, but that didn’t mean I explored the town that much.

I had absolutely no idea where we were, but John seemed comfortable and at ease, like he knew exactly where he was headed. Nothing like a normal guy would be on a first date. Which technically we were and we weren’t. The first time we’d gone anywhere together was my doctor’s appointment and I didn’t want to think of that as a date. Nor was hanging out in my apartment and eating cheesecake afterward. Dinner for a first date sounded so much better.

“I hope you like sushi.” John pulled the car to a stop in front of a small strip mall. There was a nail salon and a used video game place flanking each side of Imperial Sushi Lounge. It didn’t look anything like an imperial place with its brick front and neon sign.

“Sushi’s good,” I said. Truth be told, I’d never had sushi. The whole idea of raw fish kind of scared me, but I didn’t want to admit that when he was trying so hard.

Before I could open my door, John ran around to the other side and opened it, offering his hand to help me out. I took it and hopped out of the Jeep. “Wow, you really are going all out on this first date thing.”

He shrugged, taking my hand in his. “I haven’t done one of these in awhile.”

“A date?” I raised my eyebrows. John was the type of guy that could have any girl he wanted and from what Monica told me he probably did.

“Yeah, is that so hard to believe?”

“Um, yeah. You’re hot and I’ve seen the way girls fawn over you at the house.”

He shook his head. “There is a difference between hooking up and taking a girl out on a date.”

“Touché.”

“And you’re the type of girl I want to take out on a date.”

My cheeks warmed at the thought. I had been trying to keep my feelings for John at bay. I shouldn’t have been thinking about a relationship when I wasn’t even a week post-op from surgery, but there was something about John that made me want to give up all my rules and dive head first wherever he wanted me to go. But the more logical part of me was still deathly afraid of getting hurt.

He opened the front door and followed in after me. Even though the outside didn’t look like anything special, the inside looked like it was straight out of Japan. The dark wood-paneled walls had white vertical strips containing Japanese calligraphy. The only lighting came from red paper lanterns that hung from the ceiling and reflected off the dark wood floor. Directly in front of us was a small pond with pretty koi fish. The rocks that circled the koi pond were stacked together behind it to form a large, circular platform which the hostess desk sat atop.

John led me to the hostess podium as if he had done it every day. I was busy staring at all the surroundings and hoped the fish in the pond weren’t going to be our dinner.

A short Asian woman with a Cleopatra-like haircut stood behind it and smiled when we approached. “Hello, you have reservation?” she asked in a high-pitched voice.

“Yeah, two for Walden.” His voice was smooth as silk when he spoke. I was surprised the woman wasn’t quivering with his every word.

She ran her long fingernails down the podium. “Okay, two for Walden.” She grabbed two menus from under the podium. “Follow me.”

She turned on her heels and for a little woman she walked very fast. I almost had to run to keep up with John’s long strides and her little feet. She led us into a large room that was probably the size of my high school’s basketball stadium. There were Japanese shoji screens lining the room, and at least twenty giant silver teppan tables had cooks standing behind them prepping food for wide-eyed customers like it was an art form.

“I thought we were getting sushi?” I asked John. I didn’t think they cooked sushi on grills in front of people, but I could have been wrong.

“We are, but we can’t just have sushi alone. You have to get some sukiyaki steak to go with it.”

“But what if I told you that I was a vegetarian?”

John came to a sudden halt as if someone just punched him in the gut. “Are you serious?” He looked at me with big puppy dog eyes.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “No, I’m definitely not, but I just wanted to see the look on your face.”

A small smile appeared on his lips and he squeezed my hand before we continued following the woman. “I’m glad I have you to keep me in check.”

“Likewise, John.”

The woman stopped in front of one of the teppanyaki tables where four other people sat: a gray haired couple and a middle-aged Hispanic couple with matching hipster glasses. I guess our date just got a little bit more crowded.

“Well, this is intimate,” I muttered.

John pulled out my chair for me and I sat down, thinking he didn’t hear me. But he did because he leaned in as he sat down and whispered in my ear, “Half the fun of these places is people-watching the other couples at the table.”

I had to admit, my curiosity was piqued. One of my favorite past times was people watching. Not in a creepy way, but in a way that a future journalist and possible author would do. When people came into the coffee shop I would watch their body language when they ordered and make up their whole life story just by what drink they ordered. A lot of them ended up being cracked out caffeine addicts in my head, but that’s because there were a lot of wired college students.

“What kind of rolls do you want?” he asked.

“Um, what?” I blinked, putting my menu down and staring blankly at him.

“Sushi?” He let out a silent laugh through his nose. “You really aren’t into sushi are you?”

I shook my head. “Oh, no, I didn’t say that.” I sighed. “Okay, moment of truth, I’ve actually never eaten sushi.”

“You’re shitting me, Red.”

I swear the old lady gasped, but looked away when John glanced at her. I guess she wasn’t used to the foul-mouthed guy.

“No, I’m not. I’ve never really had it. There’s just something about raw fish that was never very appealing to me.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Then why did you say you were okay to have sushi tonight?”

I could feel the blush creeping up into my cheeks. I couldn’t think of something witty to say back, so I just told the truth. “Because you were excited about going out to eat and I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

He squeezed my hand. “You could never disappoint me.” His eyes locked on mine and I wasn’t sure if he was talking about sushi or something else entirely.

The gray haired lady leaned over John’s shoulder, smiling. “How long have you two been together?” she asked in a shaky voice.

John turned toward her. “This is actually our first date.”

“Really?” She adjusted her glasses and her eyes looked like they grew to at least twice their size.

I was about to respond and say that we had been friends for awhile or something else lame, but John was quicker to respond, putting his arm around the back of my chair. “Yep. No first date jitters from us.”

She smiled, her lips forming an almost perfect line. “Well, I think you two are destined to be together for awhile. I can tell these things. It’s like I have a sixth sense.”

“What are you jabbering about, Martha?” Her husband peered over her shoulder. For an older guy he looked like someone who was attractive once upon a time. He still had all of his hair that was combed to the side and a full white beard. He could have been a Sean Connery relative.

She glanced back at her husband. “Richard, I was just talking to this lovely couple. It’s their first date. Can you believe it?”

“Really?” He raised his eyebrows. “You two look far too comfortable for this to be a first date.”

John squeezed my shoulder. “Sometimes it just feels right being with someone.”

“Awww.” Martha folded her hands together. “I still remember our first date.” She dropped her hands. “Richard actually showed up late!”

“I didn’t show up late. You just misheard me about the time!” Richard grumbled.

Her eyes narrowed as she turned back to her husband. “I did not! You told me five and you didn’t show up until seven!”

“And I think that is our cue,” John said, turning away from the arguing couple.

“Who do you think is right?” I whispered, glancing over at the couple and then looking back to John.

“I think the guy is always wrong.” He smiled.

“You’re just using first date talk to try and impress me,” I quipped.

“Is it working?”

“Maybe.” I picked the menu back up. “But you should stop stalling and pick out some rolls or whatever for me.”

John ordered some things I’d never heard of and he assured me that none of them contained raw fish. I wondered if he was just saying that they didn’t have raw fish in them so I would try them before judging.

After the sushi came and we ordered the rest of our dinner, an Asian man with a tall, red chef’s cap came up behind the grill. “Hello, hello.” He turned on the grill beneath him and pulled out a cart of different meats and spices.

“Think he always wanted to do this? Or maybe he wanted to be a doctor and just couldn’t get into med school?” John leaned over, whispering in my ear.

“It wasn’t that he couldn’t get into med school. His mother got sick and she told him he had to stay here and fulfill his destiny to work at an Asian restaurant,” I whispered, trying to keep from giggling.

“Mother knows best.” His lips tickled my earlobe and I couldn’t help but let a small laugh escape.

“Hey, lovebirds, do I have your order right or are you too busy necking to notice?” the chef asked, pointing at us with one of his cooking knives.

I snapped my head up and could feel my cheeks flush, but as usual John was as cool as a cucumber. He smiled and looked at the chef. “We weren’t necking...yet. But I’m sure we will be as soon as you’re done making our steaks.”

The hipster couple shook their heads, but I could hear Martha awwing at us again. Luckily the chef had a sense of humor, but it still embarrassed the heck out of me.

“Okay, red meat and then necking. Gotcha. You need some wine? Or music to set the mood?” he asked, playing an invisible violin on his shoulder.

“That would be great,” John said.

“I try and make the night as romantic for you as possible,” the chef said as he cracked an egg on the grill and then started humming “Let’s get it on” by Marvin Gaye.

My nights with John were always interesting.

After dinner, and after I’d been embarrassed enough by John and the chef, we got back into John’s car and instead of turning toward campus, he went the other way.

“Um, you know this is going toward the highway and not my apartment, right?”

He didn’t look at me, but smiled. “Yeah, Red, I know where I’m going.”

It hadn’t started to snow yet, but the temperature dropped enough that it looked like the clouds could just burst open and we’d have a blizzard at any moment.

“Then where are we going?” I asked.

He shook his head. “That’s a surprise. I can’t give away all of my secrets.”

“If this is a first date, shouldn’t you be like groveling to keep me happy or something?”

His smile turned into an all out grin. “How many first dates have you been on? It’s the girl that usually cares more about all that impressing shit. The guy just usually does whatever he can in hopes that he will get invited back up to her room after it’s over.”

I almost choked on my own spit and had to pound my fist against my chest. “Is that what you’re doing?”

“Red, if I wanted to get you in bed, I don’t think I’d need to take you out to dinner first.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “I told you I wasn’t going to sleep with you tonight and I meant that.”

“Geez, cool down. I was just joking.” He put his hand on my knee. “Will you just enjoy your time with me and stop thinking I’m going to trick you or something?”

I blew a big puff of air out of my nose. I didn’t have an answer. At least not one that I could say out loud. I didn’t know what we were half the time. One minute I would think we were on the path to a relationship and then he’d get a lap dance from a girl or I’d do something stupid. He wasn’t like Robby, that was for sure. But it may have been my comparing him to Robby that was holding me back.

“Fine.”

I watched the landscape change out of the window. It went from the shuffle of a campus environment and the bar scene to an endless road of barren fields that had long been plowed and were just awaiting the first snow. It seemed like we traveled down the road forever, the only sound was the radio. Finally, John turned on his turn signal at an exit for a small town a few miles from Central.

“Pace? What the heck is in Pace?” I stared at the small town as it came into view. There was a little pizza place and a big antique mall, that seemed to be the big attractions. The only other thing I could see from the highway was a gas station and a Dairy Queen. I hoped his big surprise wasn’t just to take me out to ice cream.

“What? You don’t just like hanging out in the middle of the cornfields?”

“I hope you’re kidding.”

He drove past the gas station and further into the small town. It didn’t look like there was anything special. I’d only actually been there once and that was to get gas with my sister when we were on the way to Chicago. I never traveled past that gas station or anywhere else in town.

John put on his blinker and turned into a dimly lit parking lot. The building looked like a giant white slab of cement without any real markings on it. That is, until I saw a small sign when we turned around the corner that said “Iced Up Skating Rink.”

“We’re going ice skating?” I stared at the giant building. There were only five other cars in the parking lot so it didn’t look like it was too busy, even on a weekend. I guess not many people came out for small town ice skating.

“Of course we are. That’s why my skates are in the back.” He hitched his thumb toward the backseat.

I glanced back and saw a pair of red and white skates sitting on the seat. “Huh. I didn’t even notice those.”

“Well they’re my hockey skates from high school, so if you want to shoot the puck around we can do that too.”

I took a big gulp. “The last time I ice skated was in middle school. I’m not even sure I know what to do. Do you think it’s even wise for me to be moving like that after my surgery? What if I fall?”

He put the car into park and turned it off, before grabbing his skates out of the backseat. “Hopefully you should be fine.” He grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers. “And if you do, I’ll be there to catch you when you fall.”

My fingers warmed from his touch. I knew he meant the term in the physical sense, but I was hoping he would still be there for me emotionally as well, because I was afraid I had fallen way too hard for him.

He let go of my hand and then came around the side, opening the door for me. The temperature had dropped another few degrees and I shivered as soon as I stepped out of the Jeep. Like he was expecting me to be cold, he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him. “You should wear a heavier jacket, Red. It’s not summertime.”

“Maybe I’m just using it as an excuse to get close to you,” I teased.

He kissed the top of my head. “You know you don’t need an excuse for that.”

The place looked it like it was straight out of the 1970’s and hadn’t been updated since. It had light oak wood panels surrounding the rink. Painted in the middle of the ice was a globe and some other red and blue lines running down the sides of it. Bright fluorescent lights shone down from a white domed ceiling onto two girls in sequined outfits spinning around the rink. A bored looking teen with bright red freckles in a black and white striped shirt sat behind a snack counter. He barely looked at us when we walked in.

“Hey, two for skating and we need one skate rental.” John spoke to the kid smoothly, ignoring that the kid probably didn’t want to be there.

The kid pushed off the counter, like it took every bit of effort he had to walk the few feet to the register. “Okay, two skate fees and a skate rental. That’s $12.51.”

John pulled out his wallet and handed the kid a twenty and then looked over at me. “What size skates do you need, Red?”

John glided on the ice like it was as natural to him as walking. I, on the other hand, was tripping and flailing around like an infant learning to walk.

“Come on, Red. Don’t force it, just let your body tell you where to move.” John’s soothing voice carried over me. He had one hand on my waist to steady me and the other was trying to hold my flailing arms.

I couldn’t trust what my body would tell me. My body had done nothing but fail me lately. “I’m trying.”

My toe dipped forward and I tripped, falling forward, but then John’s arms were there to catch me. He spun around so he was facing me and pulled me up. He wrapped an arm around my waist and put his other hand on my chin, tipping it up so that I was forced to meet his eyes. “That’s the problem, Red. You’re trying too hard. You need to just let go. Don’t you ever just relax?”

“What?” I struggled to stay on my feet, feeling the skates give way underneath me. But John gripped tighter onto my waist and I pulled myself to stand on the thin blades.

“You always seem too put together, like you’re calculating every move you make. The first time I saw you, you intrigued me. Not just the fact that you looked beyond hot in that Hermione costume, but how even more beautiful you’d look if I could just get you to let go. I wanted to be the one to do that to you. Just me and me alone.” He moved his hand from my chin and pushed a fallen curl behind my ear. “That night you found out about the cancer was one of realest I’d ever seen you. You let yourself go. You let me in and I got to see the side of you that wasn’t so wound up. Granted it wasn’t a pleasant experience, but I was glad that you opened up.”

“I’m not wound up,” I protested. Though, I wasn’t so sure of that, even when I was saying it. He was sort of right. There was a certain way I liked things done. I didn’t want surprises. I practically planned out my whole life and was used to the routine. That’s the way I liked it. Then John and cancer came into my life and all my plans went out the window.

“It’s not a bad thing. Your studious side is pretty sexy.” He leaned in closer, his lips on my ear. “But there was nothing hotter than watching you come undone on the dance floor for me.”

My whole body heated up from his words. “That was different.”

“Why do you think I was so drawn to you? I wanted to get to know the girl behind the Hermione sweater and when you let go, it’s incredibly hot. So let go, Red.” He nibbled at my earlobe and then his lips trailed down to my neck, his teeth nipping at the soft skin.

A low moan gathered in my stomach and burst through my mouth. I tried to hold it in, but the feeling of his warm lips was enough to turn me into a puddle of jelly.

His lips were back on my ear. “As much as I would like to see you come undone again here, I think we need to try this skating thing again.” He pushed back, grabbing onto both of my hands and pulling me with him as he glided across the floor backwards.

“Are you serious right now?” I pushed my legs forward, trying to shift my feet without falling as he moved like it was no big deal.

“Come on, let go.” His eyes pleaded with mine as he pulled me in a circle around the small skating rink.

The other two girls weren’t even paying attention to us and the guy at the snack counter hadn’t looked up once from his phone, yet I was still afraid to fall. It wasn’t that I was afraid of hurting myself on the ice or even embarrassing myself in front of John. It was something else. Something almost primal that wouldn’t let me.

Then John dropped his hands from mine, but still stayed only a foot away from me, skating backwards, slowly.

“Why did you do that?” I kept my hands out in front of me, my feet still moving forward, but clumsily like I would slip at any moment. “Hold my hand!” I reached forward, but he skated backwards, just barely out of reach.

“John!”I screeched.

He smiled, barely showing any teeth. “Come on, Red. You can either keep skating or you can fall. You’ll never know what’s going to happen unless you try.”

“This isn’t funny!” I stumbled forward, trying to reach for his hands, but every time I got closer, he was quicker and moved out of the way.

“What’s it going to be, Red? Skate or fall?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know what kind of psychological thing you are trying to pull here, but it isn’t funny!” I lurched forward, hoping to fall into his arms, but he moved too fast. My feet gave out first, slipping on the ice like butter on a frying pan. My legs went airborne and I moved too fast to even blink or move my arms to soften the blow. Instead, I fell chest first onto the cold ice below, followed by my face.

John was by my side, pulling me up to my knees. But that didn’t stop the pain from exploding onto my body. The cold ice soaked through my clothes and my nose felt like it was bent in half.

“Are you okay?” John’s voice was soft and concerned, but at that moment I was angry at him for letting me fall.

“No!” I threw his hands down and then tried to stand up by myself but then ended up falling down hard on my butt. I’d probably have a bruise there to add to all of my internal ones. “OW.”

He pulled me up to my feet. I gave in and let him, since obviously I couldn’t control my own feet. “I think I broke my nose,” I whined.

He turned to face me. “I don’t think it’s broken, maybe just bent.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re not the broken one.” I touched my nose, which just made it hurt worse and I winced.

“You’re not broken either, Melanie.”

I met his eyes. He rarely ever called me Melanie. Instead of smiling, he was deadly serious. “I know what you’re trying to do,” I whispered.

“And what is that?” He leaned in, pressing his forehead to mine.

“Trying to make me feel better.”

“And I’m never going to try to stop trying. You’re stuck with me. Broken or not, I’m not going anywhere.”

I let out a slow breath, closing my eyes. “I want to go home.”

“Melanie...”

I closed my eyes tighter. I didn’t want to see him. I wanted this date to make me forget about my surgery. To forget about all the bad shit. Now I didn’t want to think about anything but sleeping it away. “I said I just want to go home.”