The Sanctuary

39

DANNY KNEW THAT he was being led to her. He knew there were no guards to stop him because he wasn’t meant to be stopped. He knew the only door that remained unlocked led to the hard yard, because Renee was in there. And he knew that when he found her, he would not like what he found.

But he did not know that he would find her in the arms of a beast.

He saw the whole room in the space of a breath. Four guards stood in the corners, armed with rifles. Bostich was near the center of the room overlooking a dozen inmates seated along the wall. The warden stood close to a man who held Renee.

The man was Keith Hammond.

Danny had first met the man when Keith was a rising star in the sheriff’s department who liked to take out his frustrations on his wife, Celine Hammond. Celine had come to confession at Danny’s parish for a year, each time crying her shame. Her husband beat and abused her weekly.

Danny approached Keith after failing to convince Celine to go to the police. He took the deputy to a warehouse, bound him to a chair, and spoke to him plainly about his choice to inflict suffering on his wife. Keith had shown all the humility of a belligerent bulldog, but Danny was persuasive and the man had finally capitulated, realizing he would lose his life if he did not.

Unfortunately, Keith abused his wife again, and Danny would have ended his life then if not for Celine. Emboldened rather than deflated by his boast that he would beat her in spite of the death threat, she’d gone to the sheriff’s department and exposed their rising star.

The department offered Hammond a deal. If he stepped down and granted his wife a divorce, his secrets would remain safe with his employers. He agreed to their deal, however embittered, and Celine moved out of state six months later. Danny put the issue behind him.

Now Keith Hammond was back, evidently here to take Renee because Danny had taken Celine from him.

Keith stared at him over Renee’s head and a smile pulled at his lips. The hatred in his eyes could only be that of the devil.

“Take your hands off of her.”

Keith’s smile broadened. “It’s been a long time, my friend.”

Renee gasped and tried to spin free, but the man had a fistful of her hair. He jerked her back and backhanded her face.

“Stay!”

She twisted around, eyes flashing with terror. “Danny?”

Three of the guards lifted their rifles and trained the sights on him. It suddenly all made sense. Hammond was working with the warden. If they’d gone to such lengths, the end, too, was already orchestrated. Keith would hurt Renee, and the warden would push Danny to kill, testing him to his breaking point in an attempt to prove he hadn’t truly changed.

Renee’s face was white. “Danny?”

Keith’s hand flashed again, striking her face with enough force to knock her down. He let Renee drop.

Danny stood breathless, immobilized by indecision. They wanted him to rush forward in an attempt to save her. He couldn’t play into their hands so recklessly. He had to choose the moment carefully despite the terrible rage washing through his mind. He had to act with precision. How and to what end he was no longer sure, but there had to be a way. There had always been a way.

And if not?

Keith grabbed Renee’s hair and yanked her head off the floor.

“She has a new name for me, Danny. She calls me Sicko. Unless you care to stop me, I’m going to hurt her. Bad, my friend. Real bad.”

Danny’s heart began to stutter.

Sicko. Keith was Sicko…

I was on the floor, held by my hair. My jaw ached and my lips were bleeding from the blow, but it was all made moot by the sickening violation I felt.

Every conversation between Keith and me pounded through my head. Revenge, Keith had kept insisting. One of Danny’s victims was obsessed with revenge, but I’d never suspected the victim to be Keith. Now it all came to me.

Constance had told me about Randell because they knew I’d go in search of the man who brought him down. Constance was working for Keith. The phone calls had come from Keith. The boy had been taken and mutilated by Keith or someone who was working with him. The two-day waits now made perfect sense. He’d needed the time.

Keith knew about Judge Thompson because Danny, sometimes telling that story to unnerve his victims, had shared it with him. Keith had somehow tracked Danny down, found him at Ironwood, and worked with the warden to get him transferred to Basal, where he could destroy us both.

Keith, not the warden, was the mastermind behind it all. Keith was Sicko.

Everything he’d done during the last ten days was to earn my trust and push me to the brink with nowhere to turn but to him. He wanted me in the prison, in his arms. I’d been manipulated, yes, but that didn’t temper my revulsion. I’d kissed him.

I lay limp on the floor, but something in me changed when I understood what Keith was trying to do. I couldn’t understand all of his reasoning or the depths of his fury, but I could understand that he was getting what he wanted.

He was crushing Danny. Right there, right then.

Two more guards stood in the doorway, both wearing sidearms. Danny had stopped ten feet in front of them, frozen, and I felt my heart breaking for him. I didn’t know what the warden had subjected him to, but I knew those eyes staring at me all too well, and I was appalled by the desperation in them. No man had ever suffered so much for all the right reasons.

And now his suffering was for me. I couldn’t let that happen.

With a ferocious grunt, I hurled myself away from Keith, twisting with all of my strength. His grip on my hair was firm and my head jerked back for a moment before it tore free, leaving Keith with strands spilling from his fingers. Then I was stumbling forward and running for Danny.

I went like an angel, rushing across the room to save Danny. I wasn’t thinking about anything other than comforting him. I didn’t feel any danger or anger or bitterness. I only saw my broken Danny, who needed to know how beautiful he was.

My intent wasn’t to crash into him. I really meant to be gentle and touch him with a soft hand, but I couldn’t seem to slow myself because the closer I got, the more anguish I saw in his eyes. The more I saw that he really was breaking apart, and I couldn’t bear the sight.

With a loud sob I plowed into him and threw my arms around his neck. His arms wrapped around my body and held me as tightly as I clung to him. I could feel his heart pounding in his chest, smell his skin, taste his sweat on my lips.

Danny was like a boy in my arms, unsure and crushed, and it ripped my heart in two.

“No, Danny…it’s okay, Danny. You’ve done well.”

His whole body, all 240 pounds of bone and muscle, began to tremble.

Terrified, I pulled my head back and gently took his jaw in my right hand. “No, listen to me.” His eyes were closed and his face was twisted with remorse. “No, no, Danny, listen to me. You did well. You saved me. You came for me.”

He was trying to stop, trying to be strong, but he couldn’t. Tears began to seep from his eyes. I’d never seen him so undone. What had they done to my Danny?

Or was it because he knew that there was no way out for either of us now? That he’d failed?

“I’m so proud of you. You haven’t failed me. You’ve done good.”

My words sounded hopelessly pathetic in the face of his pain, but I couldn’t bear to see him this way. I wanted to claw the warden’s eyes out!

I kissed his face and eyes and I tried to wipe his tears. “You’ve done everything for me, Danny, I know that. I love you. You’ve done well. You’ve done so, so well.”

He couldn’t speak, but he didn’t need to. I had never felt so much like a woman as I did then, holding Danny in my arms. He could have given me no greater gift than his tears, because it was Danny, you see, and now Danny had even given up his strength for me. Only a very great and mysterious love could reduce him to this. And in truth, it was no reduction at all.

The man in my arms was Danny at his greatest.

He loved me. I knew it then more than I had ever known it. Danny loved me and I loved him, and I didn’t care if I lived or died anymore. As long as I was his and he was mine.

But my heart was breaking because Danny’s whole life came down to knowing if he’d done well. If he’d done the right thing. If his life, his work, everything he’d done to save and protect, had been done well.

Only I knew the full truth—that every hour he’d spent in the dark, shivering from cold, he’d spent for me. Every blow he’d suffered he’d suffered to save me. Every cry of agony, every moment of torment, every turn of the screws—all for me, because he loved me.

And still he was surely wondering if he’d done well. I could feel it in his quivering skin and I wanted to scream my love for him. I wanted to take his place in that moment and weep my regret for putting him through such suffering on my behalf.

But all I could do was hold him and offer those simple words with tears streaming down my face. “You’ve done well. I’m so proud of you, Danny. Nothing matters now, you’ve done it all so well, it doesn’t matter what happens now. I’m so, so proud of you.”

My words didn’t calm him. They pushed him deeper into that place of unyielding emotion, and I knew that I’d touched something beyond his own understanding, a core of his being that was beyond his unflinching control.

For long seconds the hard yard remained silent around us. They were giving us time to endure our own kind of suffering, but they could not know just how much healing was flowing between us.

And then, as suddenly as his tears had begun, he pulled them back with a deep breath and swept me to one side, slightly behind him.

I saw the reason: Keith was walking toward us, mouth twisted in a wicked grin that made him look like he was wearing a Halloween mask.

“So sweet, isn’t it?” The man stopped, eyes on Danny. “To be in the arms of the woman you love.”

Danny watched the man approach then stop close enough to speak without putting himself in danger of being overheard by the inmates.

Danny could have reached Keith and broken his neck before any of them could stop him, but in doing so he would leave Renee exposed long enough for one of them to end her life.

You’ve done well, Danny. Terrible emotion he hardly understood surged through his chest again, and he forced it back down.

Godfrey was there, and Randell, and a few others Danny recognized. Godfrey had tears on his cheeks. The rest looked on, stoic.

“She loves you, Danny.” Keith spoke in a gentle tone. “Trust me, I’ve been with her for ten days. She loves you as much as my wife loved me. But my wife’s dead, isn’t she?”

He knew then that Keith had killed Celine. He had followed her out of state and murdered her.

“You took everything from me,” Keith said. “My wife, my career, my life. All of it.”

“How did you find me?” Danny asked.

“It wasn’t easy.” Keith kept his voice low. “Your mistake was telling me too much in your little game of manipulation. I figured out you were a priest—your little story about the pedophile helped. A year ago I heard about a priest who’d cut a quiet deal with the DA. Having connections in the department does have its advantages, even for the scumbags they force out. So I checked it out and I found you. How could I ever forget that face?”

“My face was covered.”

“Not the whole time. I saw your reflection in the window, when you pulled your ski mask off as you were leaving. I’m a cop, remember? I notice things.”

Danny was asking the questions not for himself as much as for Renee. He had to buy her time. He had to reset the stage somehow. He’d once played a game with this man and won; now he was caught in Keith’s game, playing by new rules. The only way out was to reinvent those rules.

“Why didn’t you just have me killed at Ironwood?”

“I didn’t want you dead. I wanted more. And when I told my brother-in-law how a man of the cloth had betrayed his vows, destroyed me, and murdered my wife, he had a better idea. And I liked it.”

The warden was Keith Hammond’s brother-in-law. He probably never knew that Keith had abused his wife. Worse, he believed that Danny was responsible for his sister’s death.

“That’s right,” Keith said. “My wife, Celine, the one you so lovingly took from me, is Marshall’s sister. She’s dead because of you. When I was in a better position, I helped Marshall out from time to time. Got him a job in the prison system. Now, as you know so well, he’s a warden. A bit religious for my tastes, but hey, it works for him.”

The warden stood across the room with his hand predictably in his pocket, watching them with smug assurance. Pape had mentioned the murder of his sister when he told Danny his tragic story, but at the time Danny had no reason to connect the name to his own life.

“The part of his thinking that resonates with mine is that what comes around goes around,” Keith said. “You took my wife and now I’m going to take yours. You took away my playmate, now I’m going to replace her with yours. An eye for an eye. How does it feel?”

“I didn’t kill Celine. You did.” Danny looked over at Pape. “Surely you know that much.”

“He knows that you would say anything to save yourself,” Keith said. “Don’t be absurd.”

Danny saw no value in pursuing the truth of the matter. Keith had obviously anticipated the charge.

“You saw Renee in my arms, Danny boy. I like it best when they come willingly without knowing what awaits them.” Keith spread his hands in an open invitation. “Of course, you can always try to stop it. Prove the warden’s theory that you really haven’t changed and need more correction. He’d love nothing more. He’s become a bit obsessed with you, a man of the cloth who should know better. I think you remind him of himself.”

Danny looked at Renee, who was watching him. He’d forgotten how beautiful she was, how strong and yet so innocent; how smart and yet so naïve.

She wasn’t smiling but her eyes were bright, full of courage. Her sweet voice still whispered in his ears. You’ve done well, Danny. But he hadn’t. Not if he allowed them to torture and kill her. Not if he died, because his death would undoubtedly precede hers. They would never allow her to live now.

He scanned the room again. There was only one unpredictable element in the hard yard: the members. The anxiety that had pushed him up out of deep meditation had vanished, replaced now by a stoic resolve to let his training guide his path. He could not allow any more emotion. Renee’s life might depend on his ability to exercise acute control over his mind and body.

Danny showed his hands in a sign of surrender and slowly stepped away from both Renee and Keith toward the others. No one stopped him.

He eyed the line of members. Godfrey. Randell. All of them staring.

“You’re all fine with this?” he asked them.

“Of course not,” Pape said. “Do you think a good father likes to beat his child? My children feel as much regret and sorrow as I do.”

“I didn’t ask you. I asked them.” Danny moved closer, toward the center of the room, eyes on the other members. “She’s an innocent woman. The warden’s going to torture her in an effort to break me. That doesn’t bother any of you?”

“No one’s innocent,” the warden said.

“And that includes you. But here you stand, judging us all.”

“It’s my role in this sanctuary.”

“And it’s mine to speak the truth.” Danny looked at his cellmate and spoke before the warden could. “How about you, Godfrey? You’re just going to stand by and let this happen? Or you, Randell? You saw what he did to Slane…you think you’ll escape the same fate? He can’t let any of you leave this place now. You know too much. The warden will destroy all of you to protect his precious sanctuary. You’re just going to blindly follow him?”

“So that’s it, then.” The warden stepped out. “You come in here vowing to turn your cheek, and now you ask them to resist. You see what I mean, Danny? You really are a charlatan. You’re finally showing your true heart, as I knew you would if pressed. And the party has hardly started.”

The words seared Danny’s mind. Like a fire, they spread through his bones, scorching his heart with that one awful truth: In the end, he really was just as he once was. When all else failed, he would resort to violence and death to save the one he loved. He would do wrong to correct what was wrong, though he’d vowed never to do it again.

And wasn’t that exactly what the warden was doing, defending society from deviants by using violence to fight that violence, rather than love as Danny had vowed to love?

His world suddenly made no sense to him. He was standing before the whole room, making a plea for sanity, but in the end it was his own sanity that was at risk.

Danny wanted to continue his plea—the power of argument had always served him well—but his reasoning faded and he couldn’t bring up the right thoughts or words.

He looked down the line of inmates and saw that they were lost. He’d spent ten days inside and hardly knew them—the warden had seen to that. But they all had one thing in common: they were governed by their humanity, and yet they feared the warden’s consequences too much to question the true nature of that humanity. Even Godfrey, who knew better but could not escape the warden’s hold on his mind.

“You see what I mean, Danny?” The warden came closer, speaking gently now, like a father making his final point to win his son’s heart. “She’s right, you’ve done well. You just haven’t done well enough. So today I’m going to let you prove yourself. Your reward will be great, I promise you.”

Renee could not guess how profoundly Danny had failed her. He stood tall and strong here on the floor, heroic, having endured more pain and suffering than all of them, but inside, his collapse was certain.

He couldn’t save her, he knew that now. Not this time. The simplicity of that realization fell into his mind as if the sky itself had shattered. The walls came thundering down and smothered him.

“Now you see, Danny…”

He couldn’t save her because he simply could not become that man who had taken so many lives.

The warden was saying something, but Danny couldn’t hear it. Something was happening behind him, but he couldn’t seem to move.

You’ve done well, Danny.

He had done well. And now Renee would pay for all that he had done so well.

He had to be strong for her. He could not fail her in this way. He would look at her and she would see how great his love for her was. She knew that he would gladly give his life for her. She would understand his heart. She would take strength from his eyes.

But he could not compromise his vow of nonviolence to save her. Doing so would only undo all that he had come to stand for. There could not be violence in the name of love, no matter what the circumstance.

And yet…

“Danny?” Renee’s thin voice cut the silence.

Terror sliced through his heart. She needs you, Danny. You must be strong for her.

“Are you going to just stand there like a pathetic statue?” the warden demanded.

Struggling to remain composed, legs as heavy as lead, Danny turned around.

Renee stood in the middle of the room fifteen feet away, staring at the door. She swiveled her head and looked at him, frantic eyes brimming with tears of desperation.

He saw her standing there, begging for his help, and he was powerless to give it. Then he saw the reason for her fresh tears. Two guards were setting a table down in the middle of the hard yard. This was for Renee.

You’ve done well, Danny. You’ve done so, so well.

The same doctor who’d administered his punishment had entered the room, carrying the same black case he had in the deep meditation room. He was going to subject Renee to the same torture Danny had suffered.

Danny found that he could not breathe. He could not think. His mind was crumbling.