“Squirrelflight, take Cloudtail, Cinderpaw, Thornclaw, and Poppypaw and bring back as much fresh-kill as you can.” Jaypaw lay on the halfrock and listened as Firestar gave the order. “Our warriors will be hungry tonight.”
Jaypaw dangled his tired paws over the edge of the halfrock, feeling the cold stone soothe his aching body. The battle had left him battered and scratched, but he could tend to his own wounds.
Leafpool left a trail of marigold scent in her wake as she went to apply a salve to the scratches on Stormfur’s shoulder.
Hollypaw was busy treating Millie, though Jaypaw was confused when he detected revulsion rather than concern pulsing through his sister’s paws as she applied the pungent horsetail balm. Something was upsetting her, but he was too busy with his own thoughts to probe Hollypaw’s much further.
He kept wondering if he could have beaten Owlpaw without Lionpaw’s help. Stubbornly he told himself that he could.
He’d been able to pinpoint the ShadowClan’s apprentice by scent and sound. But a nagging doubt gnawed at his belly.
The battle had been so fast, he just hadn’t been able to keep up. The sound of Owlpaw’s breath in one ear had not warned him of the fierce jab that had raked the other. The thud of the ShadowClan apprentice’s paws on the leaves had been drowned by the cries of the other warriors, and Jaypaw had twisted and spun, only to find Owlpaw had darted around him already and was clawing him from behind.
He would never be a warrior.
It was the one thing he wanted above all. But he had to accept that he couldn’t fight alone. Fury raged inside him like a badger cornered in its set.
I don’t know of any medicine cat with visions as powerful as that.
Leafpool’s words echoed in his head. I think that you were destined to be a medicine cat.
All his life he had imagined growing up to be a warrior.
Why would he feel that way if StarClan had planned another destiny for him?
“Brambleclaw!” Firestar welcomed his deputy back into camp. Jaypaw had been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed his father’s return.
“We’ve remarked the trees and covered the stench of ShadowClan,” Brambleclaw reported.
Something was bothering him; Jaypaw could sense hesitation tripping his father’s tongue.
“Oakfur claimed ShadowClan had a right to our territory because ThunderClan has so many cats who are not…”
Brambleclaw paused awkwardly. “Who are not Clanborn.”
“So ShadowClan still believe a cat must be Clanborn to become a warrior,” Firestar growled.
“I told him that every cat in ThunderClan is a warrior,” Brambleclaw meowed.
“Good.” Firestar raised his voice so that every cat in the clearing could hear him. “There is not a single cat in ThunderClan who does not deserve to be here!”
Anxiety flashed from Dustpelt. “But there is truth in what ShadowClan says.” The tabby warrior’s words cracked the air like a stone hitting ice. “ThunderClan has taken in more cats than any other. That alone leaves us open to criticism from other Clans.”
Stormfur got to his paws. “Do we care what the other Clans think?” he snarled. “I was raised in RiverClan, but does any cat here doubt my loyalty to ThunderClan?”
“Your father was a ThunderClan warrior,” Dustpelt pointed out. “You have ThunderClan blood.”
“And what about those of us who don’t?” Hazelpaw protested, her soft gray-and-white pelt bristling. “I was born in the horseplace with Berrypaw and Mousepaw. Does any cat think we are not worthy to train as warriors?”
“Of course not!” Graystripe called. “Belonging has nothing to do with blood! I was born pure ThunderClan, yet I am more of a stranger here now than any cat. Millie was a kittypet only moons ago, but she fought as hard as Firestar to drive off ShadowClan today—and so did Brook!” His eyes flashed toward the Tribe cat, who blinked her thanks.
Sorreltail mewed loudly in agreement. “Loyalty is proved by what we do, not where we came from!”
Jaypaw jerked his head up. He could sense doubt pulsing from Hollypaw, horsetail balm still fragrant on her paws. “But the warrior code tells us we should drive strangers from our territory,” she mewed uncertainly.
“We have taken in any cat who has asked us for help,” Firestar meowed. “Does the warrior code condemn us for showing mercy?”
“N-no,” murmured Hollypaw.
“And every cat we have taken in has helped make ThunderClan stronger!” Firestar went on. Mews of agreement rose from the other cats.
“But,” Firestar added, “Brambleclaw is right to tell me what ShadowClan has said.”
“When have we let the other Clans tell us what to do?”
Graystripe challenged.
“Never. At the next Gathering I will make it clear that ThunderClan’s business is its own,” Firestar promised. “We will defend our borders as we have always done and let no Clan interfere in our decisions.”
A ripple of approval passed around the hollow, but Jaypaw still sensed tension. He knew from furtive worried whispers that he was not the only cat who wondered how ThunderClan’s mixed blood might change the way the other Clans saw them, or even the way StarClan thought of them.
The other apprentices were asleep, the air sighing with their gentle breathing. But Jaypaw was wide awake. Leafpool’s words still haunted him. He kept trying to persuade himself that he could learn how to be a warrior, that his fighting skills would improve. But every time he thought it, the hope became hollower.
He would go to the Moonpool. Perhaps there would be an answer for him there. Quietly he slipped out of the den. An icy wind stirred the bare branches of the trees; he would need to move very quietly, because every sound would travel far.
Brackenfur was guarding the camp entrance. Jaypaw could smell his scent. If the warrior turned him back then he would find another way out of the camp.
“You’re out late,” Brackenfur observed.
“I can’t sleep.”
“It can be like that after a battle,” Brackenfur meowed.
“I’m going into the forest.” Jaypaw waited for surprise to flash from Brackenfur, but the warrior did not flinch.
“Do you want me to go with you?” he offered. “Brook won’t mind starting her watch early.”
“No, thanks.”
“You need some time alone,” Brackenfur guessed.
Jaypaw nodded, and Brackenfur went on, “At least it’s quiet tonight. But I’ll keep my ears pricked for you, just in case.”
“Thanks, Brackenfur.” Jaypaw was relieved he had at least one Clanmate who didn’t fuss over him as though he were a newborn kit. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he called as he padded away from the entrance.
As he climbed the slope, the leaves slippery with frost beneath his paws, Jaypaw started to feel less eaten up with anxious thoughts. The noisy buzz and flow of the Clan, which invaded his senses like mosquitoes nipping at his ears, was gone. He followed the route he’d taken with Leafpool toward WindClan territory; the memory of it seemed burned into his paws as they retraced the path that grazed the WindClan border and led up into the hills.
His ears were sharp enough to hear the tumbling of the stream before his paws felt the ground turn to rock. His nose twitched, smelling for danger, but he scented nothing other than clean, fresh air rolling down from the mountains. He followed the stream steadily upward until he was scrambling up the rocks that led to the bushes circling the hollow. The whispering voices, the softly walking cats who weren’t there, surrounded him again. Their presence was oddly reassuring, as if they had come to welcome him.
Jaypaw paused at the top of the spiraling path; though his eyes saw nothing, he could clearly picture the sloping walls of the hollow and the pool below cradling the moon. The whispering grew louder until it became a droning purr that echoed around the rocks. As he followed the path down to the Moonpool, his ears twitched, straining to make out words from the murmuring sigh.
“You are welcome, Jaypaw.”
“Come, Jaypaw.”
Scents flooded around him, the scents of cats he had no memory of, yet who seemed familiar.
“Dream with us, Jaypaw.”
A pelt brushed his and then another as the cats guided him down to the pool. A faint memory stirred of a long, snowy journey, where his mother’s voice had comforted him and two soft pelts had urged him on.
Jaypaw stopped at the edge of the pool and lay down on the smooth stone shore. Closing his eyes, he touched the water with his nose.
He opened his eyes and found himself in lush woodland.
Trees soared into the blue sky above his head. Ferns unfurled their arching fronds above his back. Warm air, carrying the fresh scents of the forest, lapped at his fur. Everywhere thrummed with damp green life.
“Bluestar?” he called. “Lionheart? Cinderpelt?” Perhaps he could contact Leafpool’s mentor where Leafpool had failed.
But there was no reply.
Frustrated, Jaypaw stood up and wandered into the trees.
Why had all those voices welcomed him to the hollow and then not come to greet him? He felt a twinge of resentment.
Why did StarClan have to make everything so difficult? He only wanted to know if he was meant to be a medicine cat.
At least he felt warm here, and safe. And he could see. He began to run and found his paws carrying him so swiftly through the trees that he felt as if he were flying. He raced beneath the ferns, listening to the slightest whisper of the leaves and smelling the forest scents that wafted on the very edges of his consciousness.
Suddenly he sensed emptiness ahead. No scent. No sound.
His fur prickled with unease, and he slowed his pace.
Through the gaps in the trees he could see a wall of mist blocking his way. He padded forward, and as the mist began to swirl about his paws, he noticed that the undergrowth was becoming thinner. The trees around him grew stiff and lifeless, their branches too high for a cat to reach.
“Jaypaw?”
His pelt stood on end, and he scanned the murky forest up ahead. Gradually he made out a figure that seemed familiar.
The broad shoulders and wide muzzle reminded him of his father, Brambleclaw.
“Jaypaw!” the voice called again.
A second figure loomed from the shadows and stood beside the first. Outlined against the fog, they shared the same strong shoulders and broad muzzle.
“Yes?” Jaypaw mewed, his voice sounding tiny among the trees.
The two cats approached him and stopped, their tabby pelts as dark as the shadows beyond the trees.
“Welcome. Don’t be afraid. We are kin,” the larger cat meowed. “I am Tigerstar, your father’s father, and this is his brother, Hawkfrost.”
Jaypaw stared at the cats in astonishment. He had heard nursery stories about Tigerstar and the terrible things he had done. What were they doing here, and why had they come to him?
“It is good to meet you at last,” Tigerstar meowed, his eyes glittering.
“Brambleclaw is blessed to have three fine kits,” Hawkfrost added.
“We watched you in battle earlier,” Tigerstar purred. “I am glad to see you have inherited your father’s skill.”
Hawkfrost glanced at his father. “And yours, Tigerstar,” he meowed.
Jaypaw narrowed his eyes. Why were they complimenting him when they must know he couldn’t fight as well as he wanted to?
As though reading his thoughts, Tigerstar went on, “We can teach you how to improve your skills if you like,” he offered, his voice smooth as honey.
Jaypaw searched the massive tom’s gaze, hunting out the sentiment that lay behind his words. To his surprise he found murky darkness where he would normally have sensed feeling and thoughts. He shifted his paws uneasily. “I-I’m not sure I want to become a warrior,” he confessed.
“How can any kin of mine say such a thing?” Tigerstar snorted. “It is bad enough that I have to watch Mothwing wasting her talents as a medicine cat.” His whiskers twitched.
“At least Hollypaw is finally starting to realize that her destiny does not lie in pandering to the weak and the sick.”
“Hollypaw?” Jaypaw echoed. What did Tigerstar know about his sister’s destiny?
“Why don’t you let us teach you some fighting moves?”
Hawkfrost urged. “Once you see how easy they are for you, you’ll realize that you were born to lead your Clanmates in battle, not spend all your time in the camp with herbs and poultices.”
Jaypaw flicked his tail. Brightheart hadn’t taught him anything about fighting. She obviously thought it was a waste of time training a blind cat. He might have done better in the battle against ShadowClan if she’d shown him some moves.
Perhaps these two cats really could help him.
A swish in the ferns far behind him made Jaypaw glance over his shoulder.
“Who’s there?” Tigerstar called.
“I have come to fetch Jaypaw back where he belongs.”
Jaypaw recognized the mew at once and, as the cat emerged through the mist, he recognized the pretty tortoiseshell pelt as well. “Spottedleaf!” he mewed.
Spottedleaf nodded but did not take her eyes off Tigerstar and Hawkfrost.
“Do you know this cat?” Tigerstar asked Jaypaw.
“She helped me when I fell over the cliff,” Jaypaw explained.
“You shouldn’t have wandered this far, Jaypaw,” Spottedleaf warned him.
“Nor should you.” Tigerstar glared at the medicine cat.
“How did you cross the border?”
“I come with the permission of StarClan,” Spottedleaf replied, meeting his gaze with a challenging stare.
“Did they give Jaypaw permission too?” Tigerstar inquired, tipping his head to one side.
Spottedleaf did not answer. Instead she looked at Jaypaw.
“Come back with me,” she ordered.
“What about Tigerstar and Hawkfrost? Can they come too?”
“They have chosen their own path,” Spottedleaf replied.
She turned back and waited for Jaypaw to follow.
But Jaypaw hesitated. Tigerstar and Hawkfrost had offered to give him what he wanted most.
“Jaypaw!” Spottedleaf called more urgently.
He had to choose between the cat he knew—the cat he instinctively trusted—and those he didn’t. He turned and followed Spottedleaf.
As she led him back through the mist, he glanced over his shoulder. Tigerstar’s eyes blazed like fire even after his pelt had been swallowed by the gloom.
Spottedleaf broke into a run, and Jaypaw raced after her.
His paws carried him lightly through the shadowy forest until the trees became leafier, their branches dipping once more to brush the undergrowth. Fern tips caressed his spine, and a feeling of freedom and safety enfolded him once more.
Spottedleaf drew to a halt. “You must not go there again,” she told him.
“Why not?” Jaypaw asked.
“Tell me why you came to share with StarClan,” Spottedleaf prompted.
Resentment jabbed Jaypaw’s belly. If she wasn’t going to answer his questions, he wasn’t going to answer hers. “I came because I could,” he answered huffily.
Spottedleaf narrowed her eyes. “You came to find out where your true destiny lies, didn’t you?”
Jaypaw blinked. “How did you know?”
“How did you find your way to the Moonpool when you are blind?” she countered.
“Are you going to answer all my questions with more questions?”
Spottedleaf sighed. “Sorry,” she mewed. “But I cannot tell you more than you are ready to know.”
“I’m ready to know everything!” Jaypaw insisted. “Why does StarClan make it so hard to get answers?”
“Because they fear for you,” Spottedleaf answered, her eyes darkening.
Jaypaw snorted. Even StarClan were treating him like a helpless kit! “Tigerstar and Hawkfrost don’t seem worried about me,” he snapped. “They think I’m destined to be a warrior!”
“Do you trust them?”
Jaypaw remembered the impenetrable mist that had hidden the true feelings of the two warriors. “I guess not,” he mewed hesitantly.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” he murmured. He could sense something else inside her, affection tinged with sorrow. Concentrating hard, he tracked the feeling, following it like a shimmering stream: a flame-colored cat, green eyes clouded with grief… it was Firestar! This StarClan cat was in love with the ThunderClan leader! But how could that be? Spottedleaf had left the forest long ago, and Firestar had another mate. Jaypaw searched further. There was more, he knew, some knowledge obscured by shadows, something he could not name…
“You have a remarkable gift,” she mewed. Her eyes were wary, as though she’d felt him probing her mind. “You can see what no other cat sees. You can go where even StarClan cannot. You must use this power for the good of your Clan.”
“But how?” Jaypaw asked.
“You must become a medicine cat,” Spottedleaf meowed.
No!
He didn’t want to hear that. He wanted to believe Tigerstar and Hawkfrost.
“I want to be a warrior!”
“But you have a gift!”
“Seeing in dreams? That’s not a gift. The rest of the Clan see all the time!”
“But they don’t see what you do. They can’t go where you go.”
“So I can visit StarClan! Big deal!”
“It is a big deal!” Spottedleaf hissed.
“But where does it get me?” Jaypaw argued. “The rest of my Clan think I’m useless.”
“They don’t know the power that you have.”
“Power?” Jaypaw echoed.
Spottedleaf was trembling now. “Jaypaw, you have power enough to shape the destiny of your entire Clan.”
Jaypaw stared at her. “But I want to be a warrior!”
“Accept your destiny!”
“It’s not fair!”
“I know.” The medicine cat’s voice suddenly grew soft. She brushed his muzzle with her tail, silencing him. Jaypaw felt weariness spread through his limbs, dragging him toward sleep. “Your gift is not a burden,” she whispered. “But you must be brave, because it has more power than the sharpest claw…”
Jaypaw tried to fight the sleepiness. There were still questions he wanted answered. “No,” he complained weakly as his legs buckled beneath him.
Jaypaw opened his eyes. The world was black once more, and his body ached with cold. He was lying beside the Moonpool. Slowly he got to his paws and stretched. The image of StarClan’s hunting grounds was still fresh in his mind as he followed the path out of the hollow.
More power than the sharpest claw…
When he reached the top, Jaypaw glanced over his shoulder.
The hollow was filled with starlight—he knew it as surely as if he could see it. The Moonpool was radiant beneath the brilliant light, and every rock and stone shone like crystal.
The whispering that had followed him down to the Moonpool rose again until the voices swirled around him like a relentless wind.
Accept your destiny, Jaypaw.
And in that instant, he realized that however many moons he searched, and however far he ran, he would never escape what he had known all along.