The Sight

Chapter 19

“Mousefur kept me awake half the night coughing,” Longtail complained.

“It’s a wonder you could hear me over your snoring!”

Mousefur retorted.

Jaypaw sighed. He was in the elders’ den, listening to the denmates bicker like kits. He didn’t know why they argued so much. Even now, Longtail’s complaint was only his way of telling Jaypaw that he was worried about Mousefur.

“I can’t feel any swelling around her throat,” Jaypaw told him. “Just make sure she eats the coltsfoot I brought.

Leafpool says it will ease her breathing.”

“I don’t need herbs,” Mousefur grumbled.

“Take them anyway,” Longtail urged. “At least it means you’ll eat something. You’ve not had anything since sunhigh yesterday.”

“I don’t like to take prey from the fresh-kill pile when food is so scarce,” Mousefur meowed. “There are younger bellies to feed than mine.”

“Well, eat the coltsfoot instead,” Longtail meowed. “If only to give me some peace.”

Muttering crossly, Mousefur used her tail to sweep the pile of shredded leaves toward her nest.

Jaypaw sighed. Listening to the elders fussing, he felt as though nothing had changed since his days with Brightheart.

After hardly a quarter moon he was bored to the ends of his whiskers with doling out herbs. He was meant to visit Stormfur in the warriors’ den next and apply a honey-and-horsetail poultice to his shoulder wound yet again. The warrior refused to rest, and the balm seemed to rub off as quickly as Jaypaw could apply it.

Leafpool appeared at the entrance of the honeysuckle bush, bringing with her the scents of the medicine den.

“How’s Mousefur’s throat?” she asked.

“It feels fine,” Jaypaw answered tersely. “Although it would be easier to tell if she stopped complaining long enough for me to feel it properly.”

Leafpool’s irritation spiked the air. “If you can’t be polite to your Clanmates, you may as well come back to the medicine den and help me tear up the tansy that Hollypaw was kind enough to fetch for you yesterday!” she snapped.

Jaypaw rolled his eyes. Another moment in the medicine den and he would burst! So much for his great destiny as a medicine cat. Spottedleaf hadn’t warned him that life would be one tedious chore after another.

Leafpool led the way back to the den, her shoulders tense.

Jaypaw padded miserably after her. He felt a lecture brewing in her like a storm, and nosed his way reluctantly through the trailing brambles and sat down.

“You drift around the camp like a little dark cloud looking for someone to rain on,” Leafpool snapped.

“I’m bored!” Jaypaw complained.

Exasperation flashed from his mentor. “Anyone would think I had forced you to become my apprentice!”

“You didn’t force me,” Jaypaw agreed. “But it’s what you wanted all along, isn’t it?” He lashed his tail. “Are you happy now?”

“Do I sound happy?” Leafpool hissed. Jaypaw could feel the fury seething beneath her pelt. Why did she have to be so mad at him? Couldn’t she understand that he had expected more from his life than this?

“It’s okay for you,” he snapped. “You always wanted to be a medicine cat!”

“And you don’t?”

“It’s my destiny,” he muttered. “Wanting doesn’t seem to come into it.”

“Then deal with it!” Leafpool growled unsympathetically.

Unhappily, Jaypaw padded to the heap of tansy Hollypaw had left and began to strip the leaves from the stems. He ripped at them carelessly, leaving long strings of stalk attached. Leafpool sighed and sat down beside him.

Wordlessly, she began to nip off the trailing strips he had left.

Her disappointment showed in every small, silent movement she made. Guilt pricked at Jaypaw like a bellyful of thorns. He wished he could find the words to explain his frustration, but he knew that whatever he said would only make it worse.

What would she say if she knew just how miserable he was at giving up his dream of being a warrior? And for this! A life of sorting herbs and worrying about scratches and bellyaches.

“Leafpool?” Stormfur pushed his way into the den. Jaypaw could smell the sour odor of the scratches festering on his shoulder. He had forgotten to apply the new poultice. He jerked his head around, feeling guiltier than ever.

“Didn’t you treat Stormfur’s scratch?” Leafpool demanded.

“You told me to come back here,” he pointed out.

“You’re right.” She sighed. “Never mind. I’ll do it. You get some rest. It’s half-moon tonight. We’ll be traveling to the Moonpool with the other medicine cats.”

Brightheart was lying next to Cloudtail by the halfrock, washing herself. Jaypaw felt her hurt like thorns in his pads as he waited for Leafpool by the camp entrance. Firestar had promised Brightheart that she could mentor Icekit or Foxkit when their turn came, but the warrior hadn’t gotten over the pain of losing Jaypaw as her apprentice yet.

“Staring at her isn’t going to make her forgive you.”

Leafpool’s meow surprised Jaypaw; he had been too busy worrying about Brightheart to hear his mentor approach.

“But she won’t listen to me when I try to talk to her,” Jaypaw mewed. “She just changes the subject or finds an excuse to go somewhere else.”

“She’ll listen when she’s ready to hear,” Leafpool advised.

“She’s had to fight hard to prove to her Clanmates that she’s as good as them, and this must feel like a battle she has lost.”

“I never meant to hurt her,” Jaypaw mewed.

“It takes some cats longer to see past their weaknesses clearly enough to appreciate their strengths,” Leafpool meowed. “And until they do, they feel every hurt like a tongue on raw flesh.”

Jaypaw felt that Leafpool was urging him to understand more than Brightheart’s anger, but he didn’t want to think about it now. He was eager to leave camp. He hadn’t been farther than the Sky Oak in days, and his paws were itching to be on their way to the Moonpool.

Leafpool must have sensed his impatience. “Come on,” she meowed, leading him through the thorn barrier.

The night felt brittle with cold. Frost had driven most creatures into hiding, and Jaypaw’s and Leafpool’s pawsteps were the only movement that disturbed the frozen earth. As they neared the WindClan border, Jaypaw felt anxiety flutter in his belly. What if the other medicine cats thought a blind kit wasn’t fit to be one of them?

He sniffed the air. It was tinged with the scent of ShadowClan and RiverClan.

“The others must be waiting,” Leafpool observed, picking up the same scents.

Jaypaw followed her out of the forest and padded onto open grass. Moorland lay ahead; he could smell the scent of gorse and heather mingling with cat scent. He recognized Willowpaw and Mothwing from their visit to the hollow a moon ago. But the reek of the ShadowClan cat with them brought back the raw memory of battle.

“Hi, Mothwing.” Leafpool sounded pleased to see her RiverClan friend.

“Hello, Leafpool,” Mothwing purred.

“Is the frost as bad in RiverClan territory as it is here?”

Leafpool asked.

“We seem sheltered from the worst of it, but the cold has driven the elders into their den. They’re complaining of aching bones.”

“You’ve enough poppy seed?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Hello, Littlecloud,” Leafpool greeted the ShadowClan medicine cat. “Is all well with you?”

Jaypaw bristled. It wasn’t long since ShadowClan invaded ThunderClan territory. How could she be so polite to her Clan’s enemy?

“It is,” Littlecloud answered. “Are your Clanmates recovered?” He had to be referring to the injuries they had suffered at the paws of ShadowClan warriors. Suspiciously, Jaypaw searched the ShadowClan cat’s tone for any hint of triumph, but he found only concern.

“One wound unhealed,” Leafpool reported. “And yours?”

“Oakfur is still limping,” he told her.

“Try wrapping his paw with comfrey each night when he sleeps,” Leafpool advised.

“I’ve run out,” Littlecloud confessed.

“You should have come to us!” Leafpool meowed.

“Blackstar wouldn’t let me.”

“I’ll leave some at the border tomorrow morning,” Leafpool promised.

Jaypaw couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Did Firestar know that Leafpool was helping ThunderClan’s enemies?

He felt a soft pelt brush his. Willowpaw from RiverClan.

“Where’s Hollypaw?” she asked quietly.

She sounds disappointed to get me instead. Jaypaw flicked his tail.

“Didn’t you know?” he hissed back. “Hollypaw found it so boring being a medicine cat that she let her poor, useless brother do it instead.”

Willowpaw flinched.

“I see you’re getting to know my new apprentice,” Leafpool meowed.

Jaypaw felt the gaze of all four cats burn his pelt.

“This is Jaypaw,” Leafpool announced.

Jaypaw stared back, ready to challenge any comment about his blindness.

“Hi, Jaypaw,” Mothwing meowed.

“How are you enjoying being an apprentice?” Littlecloud asked.

Jaypaw felt anxiety pulse through his mentor. She’s afraid I’m going to say it’s boring! “It’s great,” he replied.

“Jaypaw’s a fast learner.” Leafpool sounded relieved. “He knows all the herbs already.”

“Really?” Littlecloud was clearly impressed.

A new scent caught Jaypaw by surprise. Another cat was hurrying toward them over the WindClan border.

“Barkface!” Littlecloud called to the WindClan medicine cat as he approached. “Where’s Kestrelpaw?”

“He’s come down with whitecough,” Barkface panted.

“Not badly, I hope?” meowed Leafpool.

“He’s young and strong,” Barkface replied. “He’ll fight it off. But I’m making sure he doesn’t spread it around. With prey scarce and bellies empty, the Clans are vulnerable to sickness.”

Mothwing mewed in agreement.

“The moon’s rising,” Littlecloud observed.

“We’d better hurry if we want to catch it in the Moonpool,” Leafpool urged.

Jaypaw followed the cats as they began to climb the slope.

“Willowpaw!” Mothwing called to her apprentice. “Walk with Jaypaw. I’m sure he’ll have plenty of questions about the Moonpool.”

I’ve been there before, you know! Jaypaw bit back the words as Willowpaw fell in beside him. She kept a wary distance, making sure that her pelt did not touch his.

“Has Leafpool brought you here yet?” she mewed, sounding as if she didn’t really want to talk to him.

Jaypaw was about to tell her that he’d traveled there alone when Willowpaw grabbed his scruff without warning and dragged him sideways. He struggled free from her grip and turned on her, lunging at her with unsheathed claws.

“Jaypaw! What are you doing?” Leafpool screeched.

“He almost fell down a rabbit hole!” Willowpaw wailed. “I was just trying to help him.”

Jaypaw let go, shame burning his ears. “I didn’t know!” he snapped. Why had she tried to help him? He wasn’t a kit!

“Apologize at once,” Leafpool ordered.

“But I knew the hole was there!” Jaypaw retorted. It was true. He had smelled the strong scent of rabbit, and his paws had been well aware of the approaching dip. “I didn’t need help!”

“That’s no excuse,” Leafpool hissed. “Apologize!”

“I’m sorry,” Jaypaw muttered.

“That’s okay,” Willowpaw growled. “Next time I hope you fall in!” She padded ahead of him, flicking her tail past his nose.

“Keep up, Jaypaw!” He felt the flash of Leafpool’s angry gaze as she glanced back at him. It wasn’t his fault. Willowpaw had started it! He padded after Willowpaw, ignoring the trail of resentment she left in her wake, and concentrated on the older cats’ conversation.

“This late frost has damaged a lot of new leaves,” Barkface commented.

“I was looking forward to restocking,” Littlecloud agreed.

“But now it’ll be another moon before the plants recover.”

“There are a couple of sheltered spots in RiverClan territory where the herbs have escaped damage,” Mothwing told them.

Jaypaw strained to hear more. He wanted to know the location of every plant that could be of use to his Clan, no matter where. He was listening so hard that he didn’t hear the stream, or notice the ground turn from grass to rock beneath his paws as they approached it. The freezing air had turned the stone to ice, and suddenly his paws slipped from under him.

Willowpaw lunged toward him, then stopped as though claws had grabbed her tail. She watched Jaypaw slither ungracefully onto his side and waited without saying a word as, hot with embarrassment, he struggled to his paws. Then she padded on, not even slowing down as he limped after her.

Jaypaw felt a flash of admiration at her stubborn refusal to help.

She offered him no help as he scrambled up the steep ridge either, though he could sense anxiety sparking from her as she watched him haul himself up the perilous rocks. He was relieved that he had made the climb before and knew the route well.

He paused at the top, listening for the voices that had guided him last time. But the only sound was the wind spiraling into the hollow and the trickling of water as it echoed around the rocks. He padded down the paw-dimpled stone to the Moonpool, stopping when he felt cold water lap the tips of his paws.

The breath of the other cats warmed the air as they ringed the pool.

“StarClan!” Leafpool called up to the sky. “I bring you Jaypaw, my apprentice, and pray you accept him as you once accepted me.”

Jaypaw heard the soft chafing of fur on stone as the cats settled down at the water’s edge, and he lay down beside Leafpool, tucking his paws under his chest. He did not touch his nose to the water immediately. Instead he listened until the other cats’ breathing fell into the deep rhythm of sleep.

Only then did he close his eyes and lower his head until the icy water stung his nose.

In an instant he was in StarClan’s hunting grounds, the undergrowth pricking his pelt. He blinked, adjusting to the shock of sight, letting his eyes get used to the chaotic colors until they fell into shapes he could recognize. Trees soared around him, their green leaves trembling against a bright blue sky.

Does it look like this to Willowpaw? he wondered. He pricked his ears, listening for her. Do we share the same forest when we dream?

Sniffing, he searched for her scent and it appeared on the breeze, almost as if he had drawn it to him. He padded quietly toward her, keeping low, somehow aware that he was trespassing.

“Mudfur?” her soft voice was calling.

Jaypaw peered over the root of an oak and saw her gazing around a clearing. She was smaller than he had imagined. Her body was sleek and lithe, and her tabby markings were hardly more than delicate stripes along her pelt.

“Yes, little one?” A mottled tom padded out from the ferns and greeted her, touching his muzzle to hers.

Jaypaw ducked down.

“It is good to see you, Mudfur,” Willowpaw mewed.

“You dealt well with Dapplepaw’s stomachache.”

“Was I right to give her reassurance rather than herbs?”

Willowpaw sounded anxious.

“Yes. She got better on her own, and the herbs can be saved for a cat with greater need,” Mudfur praised her.

Jaypaw peeped over the root again. Willowpaw was flicking her tail happily. “Have you news to share with RiverClan?” she asked.

“Beware the Twolegs upstream. Their kits are trying to block the water that feeds the Clan.”

“I’ll warn Mothwing,” Willowpaw promised.

Jaypaw’s whiskers tingled. Why didn’t Mudfur tell Mothwing himself? Had the two cats argued? Would he share tongues only with Willowpaw?

He backed away from the oak tree. If Willowpaw was dreaming of Mudfur, what was Mothwing dreaming of? He opened his mouth to taste the air, searching out Mothwing’s scent.

He smelled nothing. Willowpaw’s scent had disappeared, as though her dream had slipped from his paws. He tried to draw Mothwing’s scent to him, as he had done with Willowpaw, but nothing came. He closed his eyes and allowed the forest to slide from his consciousness, letting himself fall back to the hollow. When he opened his eyes, the Moonpool was shining far below him. He could see the other cats still sleeping around the pool—including him. Mothwing was breathing more heavily than the others, her body twitching while the others lay motionless.

Closing his eyes, Jaypaw focused on her mind, willing himself into her thoughts. He smelled prey, and then water, and opened his eyes to find himself among reeds at the edge of a lake. Mothwing was a few tails ahead of him, stalking a frog.

She pounced on it as it hopped, then let it go and watched it hop again, her whiskers twitching with amusement as it struggled clumsily among the reeds. A butterfly fluttered above her head, and she sprang up and grabbed it from the air, holding it close so that its wings tickled her nose.

With a jolt, Jaypaw realized this was not StarClan’s hunting grounds. This was the shore of the lake that stretched between ThunderClan and RiverClan. The RiverClan medicine cat was dreaming the ordinary dreams of any Clan cat.