THE SILK TREE

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

After the camel train had been secured for the evening Su Li came up to Nicander. Behind him, Taw Vandak and the other monks clearly meant business.

‘I’m sorry to disturb, but these gentlemen have made an accusation against you as I’m bound to investigate.’

‘Which is?’ Nicander asked stiffly.

‘They say that you’re not holy men and not entitled to consideration as such.’

‘A scandalous accusation!’

‘If this is right, at the very least the authorities in oasis kingdoms will demand I pay full coin for you, as well as stand surety.’

‘This is a nonsense! We come from a country far from here they’ve never visited – how can they know what our holy men look like?’

Taw drew himself up. ‘You insult us with all these lies!’ he snarled. ‘You’re no holy man. I don’t know who you are but I’m going to find out!’

‘How dare you!’ Nicander came back. ‘Our beliefs are our own concern. We’ve been sent by our king-’

‘To seek out truths? What truths have you found so far, Ni? Any at all?’ he sneered.

‘These!’ roared Marius, bringing out the chest. He thumped it on the ground in front of the lama, opening it so he could see the scrolls and stitched sheets.

The man raised an eyebrow and took one out. ‘Lao Tzu? Confucius?’ he said mockingly. ‘Your common Chinese word grinders? Where is your dharma, your Sutta Pitaka?’

He took up another and thrust it at Marius. ‘Read what it says there,’ he said, stabbing an accusing finger at an embellished line of characters.

The legionary’s face set.

‘You!’ he demanded of Nicander. It was not one he’d been working on.

A cynical smile spread. ‘You can’t read – you’re both illiterates! You’re expecting us to believe you’re taking these to your king and you can’t read a word of them.’

Taw glanced back at his acolytes in triumph then snapped, ‘You’re a pair of criminals on the run from China disguised as holy men and-’

‘Falsehoods and lies!’ Nicander replied hotly.

‘Then you’re spies from a foreign kingdom with secret orders to steal from a land superior to your own. You’ll find we have a short way with such vermin in these parts, those who bring dishonour on the calling of the Buddha!’

With a venomous look he swept away.

Su hesitated. ‘Doesn’t do to get on the wrong side of ’em. Can’t you do some miracle or something? A bit of magic, some healing, a bit of chanting? You’ve been no trouble to me on this trip and I’d like to help you, but…’

‘Be buggered to it – those yellow rats can’t prove anything!’ Marius exploded.

‘And we can’t prove we’re not as they say.’

The caravan moved out and Nicander hurried to be with Ying Mei. ‘Those monks – they’re determined on trouble. It looks like Taw can’t make us out and wants to be rid of us.’

She didn’t reply.

‘Are you not well, Ying Mei?’ he asked with a sudden stab of alarm.

She moved to one side until she was out of hearing from Tai Yi.

Biting her lip she said in a low voice, ‘Last night I had a dream. I won’t vex you with details but I know what it means. In a few days we arrive in Aksu. Su says it’s the last oasis of size before the end of the desert and the mountains begin and it’s there we must leave this caravan if we are true to our purpose.’

‘Yes, this is right. This caravan moves on around the desert to the other kingdoms.’

‘Ni K’an Ta, I’m frightened.’

‘Why so?’ he said. It was the first time she had used his name and it brought a guilty thrill.

‘When we started out, we planned on going to this Aksu, the furthest kingdom on the caravan route. Now, all of a sudden it comes out that we’ll soon reach it – and we’ve no idea what to do once we’re there. No plan or anything.’

‘We’ll think of something, never fear.’

She glanced at him with a wistful sadness. ‘Ah Yung, I’ve spoken to everyone I can find and there’s no one can say how to get over the mountains. Or even if that is the right direction to go. They all say it’s a terrible place and have never heard of any who have done it.’

‘Surely not.’

‘So in a very short while we have to say goodbye to our friends – and the safety of this great caravan, and it… I have a dread…’

There was not much he could say: he’d assumed they would just look around and decide on the spot what to do. It had seemed so far in the future when they had made their plans in Chang An, but now it was all too much a reality. What would it be to go on without the comfort and security of a full-scale caravan? And if it turned out camel trains could not go up into the mountains, was there any way of crossing such a fearsome barrier?

They continued on in silence and in the afternoon he walked with Marius, but in the evening there was no invitation to calligraphy.

Ill at ease Nicander wandered in the darkness, the noise of the evening entertainment carrying far on the still night air. He found himself near the camels and the long mound of unloaded cargo under guard.

A single thought came: in those dark masses were tons’ weight of silk – he’d seen with his own eyes the watery yellow skeins of the raw thread and the breathtaking brilliance of the finished bolts of fabric. These were going somewhere to the west. And in Justinian’s empire there were merchants getting them from somewhere in the east. He had something he could reach out and touch that was on its way to some noble household in Constantinople. How that happened was their answer!

The Sogdians would never give up their secret of the silk route but he was a canny merchant and he would not rest until he had found a way. His fears eased.

He was about to return when something made him pause. Away from camp lights the moonless dark was held at bay by a tremulous sheen from the star field that blazed overhead. He gazed at it in awe as stealing into his mind came acknowledgement that the Lady Ying Mei was meaning more to him than ever she should.

They had worked closely together on things of beauty and humanity, had revealed to each other things touching deeply on each other – was it any wonder that he had grown close to her, found happiness and fulfilment when with her?

Or was it something deeper? He shied away from the implications and stared out into the desert.

A single pinprick of light showed – too tiny to see from within the encampment. Nicander didn’t need to be told what it was and hurried towards it over the broken ground.

‘How goes your journey?’ Dao Pa said, looking up from his cross-legged position by a neat little fire.

‘I strive for enlightenment, Master. Each day brings a fresh revealing but also a new mystery.’

‘That is well. That is very well,’ the sage said with a slow smile. ‘I expected nothing less from you. Have you your letters yet?’

‘I learn, but I’m far from construing the works of the ancient ones.’

‘There is one helping you.’

‘Yes.’

‘Tell me, what is your conceiving of Meng Tzu, when he declares that all men everywhere are born good at heart?’

‘Master, I’m torn. He brings forward an unanswerable koan – that on seeing a child about to fall in a well there is no man who will shrink from saving it. Yet Hsun Tzu shows that we enter this life evil and that it is only our conscious will that can rule desires, to enable us to rise above our base passions.’

‘Excellent! You are manifestly on your path to the Tao.’

‘Master…’

‘You have doubts.’

‘I… I have a problem of life that troubles me.’

‘Tell me.’

‘It’s a woman. Who has touched my heart that I cannot… who has entered my thoughts and…’

‘And you fear the purity of your quest is at hazard?’

‘She…’

‘Heaven sends lives on courses which are destined to converge. The wise do not confuse this with the chance meeting. One leads to the unity of souls, the other to lust and pollution. Do not ask me to say which it is in your case – you must look in your heart and decide.’

‘You are not… disappointed?’

‘How can this be? I am your teacher and you are a worthy disciple. You will know how to act in this, for you are well advanced in the Tao. If she is destined for you then your life is hers. If not, then it may be you will raise your enlightenment to the level where your life belongs to your disciples. That is the Way.’

‘Master-’

‘Your life lies ahead of you. I have set you on your path and I know you will fulfil your destiny with understanding and wisdom. I am content.’

‘But…’

‘I now take my leave of you on this earthly plane. Hold fast to what you have learnt, and you can clutch to your bosom even to the grave that you are pure of heart and intent. Farewell, Ni K’an Ta – lao na.’

Marius was in no doubt about it when he returned to their tent. ‘The woman’s getting to you,’ he snapped. ‘I told you!’

‘Leave me be,’ Nicander muttered. There was far too much to think on.

‘You’ve got to do something about it, Nico. We’ve only to get her across the mountains to the west and then we’re rid o’ the woman. If you let her foul up your wits now we stand to lose everything.’

‘It’s not like that…’

‘Don’t you forget that half o’ what we’ve got in the box is mine and-’

‘I haven’t forgotten! Now just piss off!’

He had to face that his heart was taken by Ying Mei. He should have seen it coming, the way that she had crowded into his thoughts, the rising tenderness of his feeling toward her – and the melting helplessness that her gaze on him brought.

And Marius was right: he had to do something about it. Every piece of him cried out – to let it free, throw himself down before her and declare his passion.

But this could be the worst move: it supposed that she felt the way he did, but if she didn’t, he would lose everything.

Was there a halfway point – in some way or other enabling him, without revealing his true feelings, to let it be known to her that he was interested and see if she responded.

She would no doubt be scandalised at his behaviour as a holy man. He could let her know privately that he was not one, in fact, but then all the trust and confidence that was allowing her to get close to him would vanish.

He was in the worst of all worlds and when they reached Aksu he would need all his wits about him. Damn it! Why was life so complicated!