The Sweet Spot

CHAPTER 7

CHASE HAD STARTED listening to love songs. Sappy, saccharine bona fide love songs. His iPod became one long playlist of Barry White, Drake, Bruno Mars, and the like. And of course he could never get enough of Earth, Wind & Fire. There was always a team grumble when it was his turn to choose the locker room music and he tried to slip in a few too many. But Amanda crying out his name in ecstasy was by far his favorite song. He had that one on repeat.

A picture he took of her with his own phone became his screensaver. It had been taken nearly a week after the first time they’d been together, taken at one of those tucked-away twenty-four-hour diners he sometimes found his way to in the middle of the night. Her lip had healed to his satisfaction and she immediately took advantage, leading to fiery results. She was still slightly flushed and her hair was an array of still-damp curls from hours of sweat-producing passion. Her smile was shy yet beguiling, her blue eyes containing a different kind of sparkle, and he took the credit for creating both. He looked at it a hundred times a day when he wasn’t with her, the memory of her mouth being added to their sexual equation as vivid as the day he hit his first home run. A single moment in time, captured in the same way she had captured his heart. And as soon as he saw her in person, the only thing he could think of was getting her to look that way again. The urgency of their first time was gone, replaced with a bottomless pit of exploratory lust. They wouldn’t rest until they were completely exhausted from touching and tasting and sexing.

But something was missing, and as much as he tried to ignore the thought, there was no denying it. Amanda Cole was a good girl, in every sense of the word. Her lovemaking was as wholesome as she was. Even as her mere touch set him ablaze, she was temperate. She never talked dirty. She didn’t bite or scratch him. She was warm and giving, taking as much care with him as he did with her. And when they were actually together, it really didn’t matter. But when Chase was alone and he had nothing but her picture, his mind would venture to a different place. A place where she cried out because of him, but more from pain than pleasure, although he knew they could be synonymous. He couldn’t be sure, but all indicators pointed to the fact that he had fallen for a vanilla.

She continued to send out mixed signals, and he was having trouble reading them. Shades of bratty were recalled in a hurry, as soon as he took on a dominant tone, often with an apology on her part. He had tried to introduce it once playfully, a sharp swat with an accompanying threat after she made them run late one evening, but his timing was off. He had been too concerned with the outcome and hadn’t realized how seriously she took punctuality. Her wide-eyed look of shock had stopped him cold.

It was clear that nobody had ever laid an assertive hand on Amanda Cole. She spoke little that night at the function they attended and on the way home apologized for not being on time like it was really important to him, and he ended up feeling like a heel. If she had been receptive, he would’ve blown off the event altogether and sated his lust for it. He didn’t know how to tell her without jeopardizing the illusion he had worked so hard maintaining to impress her.

The funny thing was, the longer he was with her, in her actual presence, he hardly thought about it at all. While he was going to meet her, it consumed all his thoughts. But once he was with her, Amanda wove a web of sensuality around him that made it impossible to concentrate on anything besides her, and his desire faded into the background. Making love was truly about turning her on and reaping the rewards of the end result. He was completely enchanted with everything about her. He juggled all his responsibilities effortlessly until Amanda wanted his attention and then he was willing to abandon them all. And it was something she didn’t take advantage of. She never pouted while he met his obligations, always the first to make things as easy for him as possible.

The solution in Chase’s mind was a simple one: just never be without her. He already knew he wanted to marry her. He had all the means. She would never have to work a day in her life. They could play all day, every day, and he could introduce it to her slowly. And it seemed like the natural progression, at least to his way of thinking.

The suggestion came up the first time he brought her to his penthouse apartment, figuring it gave him the home-field advantage. Her place was nice, but didn’t possess the same luxurious opulence his did. He would woo her with amenities and then present her with an offer she couldn’t refuse.

As he showed her around, all Amanda noticed was how big everything was. She fleetingly wondered if the elevator they took to get there was secretly located inside a beanstalk. From his bulky square furniture to his eighty-inch-screen television to his choice of artwork, everything appeared oversized. Even the clocks were huge. She noted she would likely need a tugboat to get her in and out of his bed.

“I want you come on the road with me,” he told her once they settled back in the living room.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to Arizona,” she replied after sinking into his enormous couch, then struggling to sit back up and perch herself on the edge. She tried to make it look smooth by toying with what appeared to be a ten-pound remote that was sitting on the football-field-sized coffee table in front of her.

“I’m not talking about this trip,” he said. “I mean all of them.”

She stopped what she was doing as she looked up at him. She didn’t know if he was still standing to be daunting, but in response to it, she stood back up as well.

“You’re serious?”

“Some things you don’t kid about,” he told her.

Amanda walked past him to the windows looking out onto Central Park. Here it comes, she thought. The slow disintegration of everything that was important in her life to accommodate every notion of his. He didn’t even ask if this was something she’d be interested in; it was issued, more like a mandate. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned to face him.

“I already have a career,” she told him, unable to keep the disdain out of her voice. “Looking after yours isn’t what I had in mind. I didn’t spend four years in college to carry your bags.”

“I can look after my own career, thank you very much,” he replied defensively. “And I haven’t touched my own bags in years.”

“Thanks for the clarification. You have the nerve to sound surprised. I realize that most women would jump at the chance to be your kept little plaything, but I think I’m going to have to pass.”

She was annoyed with him, and he struggled between the disappointment of her refusal and wanting to tell her he was trying to find a solution to his real issue, which he now felt the urge to reveal in a very real and disciplinary way. He loved that she had a mind of her own and that she didn’t look at him as some sort of gravy train. But he wanted her to bend to his will on this, which he hardly considered a sacrifice. He knew he couldn’t have it both ways. Chase held up his hands. “Whoa. Back up. Let’s start this over. Yes, I do want you with me, Amanda, but not because of the reasons you’re thinking. It’s not about keeping you. I want you there because I never want to be without you. I want to be able to see you in the stands when I’m playing ball, because it’s the closest we can get to you being able to play with me. I want you to be the last thing I see every night and the first thing I see every morning. Yeah, I guess it is selfish, but it’s not because I want you to cater to me.”

He had returned to being disarming and noble, but for the first time Amanda felt like it was contrived.

“Those sound like wonderfully romantic intentions,” she said.

“Most women would think they are.”

“Then why do I suddenly feel like we’re in the middle of a showdown?”

“Because stubborn is your middle name,” he grumbled, looking away and asking himself when exactly coward had become his.

Amanda felt his tension. It had to be hard for him, being shot down in such a fashion, especially when he was offering her something that would appear to be the ultimate in spoiling to anyone else. She approached him and wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her forehead on his chest until he returned the embrace and relaxed.

“It’s moving too fast,” she told him honestly.

Chase wanted to yell that her excuse was lame, they had been moving at a snail’s pace since they met. He wanted to bellow until the walls came down how dare she refuse him and the real reason he made the offer was because she was too genteel to give him what he wanted, and it seemed like the only viable solution. He wanted to follow that up by forcefully taking it, with her kicking and screaming until she submitted to him. He wished he had the strength to go and seek what she withheld from another avenue. But he was caught within her web of beauty and desire. He took her head in his hands and tilted it up toward his, praying that none of his thoughts was conveyed through his eyes.

“I understand,” he told her before lowering his lips to hers and taking her right there on his couch, without bothering to remove her clothes.

He left for Arizona the next day without her and embarked on the worst play of his baseball career. He made several errors, lost all focus and timing at the plate. The ball seemed to be in the catcher’s mitt before he even started to swing. His all-star average started dropping rapidly and there was a real danger of losing his spot in the batting order.

It didn’t take long before the conundrum began overshadowing his every waking thought. Overcautious soon turned into temperamental. There was nowhere for him to find release. He didn’t want to blame her, so instead became moody whenever they were alone. He was aggressive and demanding when they made love. Amada felt guilty although she wasn’t sure why. There was something wrong between them that she could reach out and touch, but he wouldn’t let her in or share it.

After two weeks of his increasing alienation and an agonizing Tuesday night of watching him struggle at the plate, Amanda had had enough. They went back to his apartment and his sulking continued.

“Chase, I’m tired of playing this game. Trying to figure out what’s wrong with you. You’ve been checked out for, like, a week now. Your strained politeness is starting to get on my nerves. If I’ve done something wrong, just tell me.”

The only thing she had done wrong was become his obsession. And she had just caught him obsessing how because of her, his life was now out of control.

“I’m not always in front of a camera, Amanda. I don’t always have to be on, do I? I’m in a slump; it puts me in a bad mood.” Slump. Shit. He said it. It had just slipped out. He wasn’t ready to give voice to it yet. Once he acknowledged it, it was free to run roughshod over him until he confronted what it was that caused it. But if he had that confrontation and it played out wrong, he could end up losing it all. He didn’t want to confront it, even though it was standing right in front of him. But stripping it naked and making love to it wasn’t going to solve the problem, either. He wanted to share his deepest, darkest secrets with her, but he had waited too long to take the risk. He was so far beyond that now. He needed her, ached for her above all else. And he didn’t want to tell her like this, with hostility the motivating undercurrent.

“Funny how you used the word slump there,” she said, tuning right into his superstition.

His voice took on more of an edge. “It’s a baseball term, for times when a player isn’t hitting the ball.”

“Yes, I know. Ever have one before?”

“Not that I can remember,” he grumbled irritably.

“Didn’t you once tell me that slumps often occur with major changes?”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you have a girlfriend. That’s pretty major. I think I heard someone call me Jessica Simpson the other day. That just won’t do, I’d have to stop wearing her line. Maybe we should cut back on some of the time we spend together?”

She didn’t really want to be without him. The thought alone was a depressing one. But maybe he was ready for a change and didn’t know how to tell her. She could test him with the opportunity and see if he made any move toward it; then all she’d have to make was a heartbreaking decision. She had no intention of being his hometown stadium girl as he coasted from city to city. And if all he needed was some alone time to get him back on his game, she was willing to make the sacrifice. Anything would be better than the cloud of surly that now followed them around.

“Out of the question,” he instantly rebuffed, more like a bark, as if she were daft for making the suggestion.

“Thanks for giving it consideration,” she replied with a touch of sarcasm.

“I don’t need to consider it,” Chase continued heatedly. “It’s not going to make things better. If you were really concerned about helping me out, you’d start packing your bags.”

He wasn’t talking about breaking up with her. And she really was flattered that he wanted her so close. “I worked really hard to build up the Cold Creek,” she said, trying to let him down easy and keep him from getting further agitated. It was the first time he’d mentioned it since he brought it up the first time.

“I know you did,” he admitted, trying not to convey the built-up resentment. “I’m not insisting on it, am I? You asked me what’s wrong, I’m telling you.”

“Insisting?” Amanda blinked indignantly. “When did I give you that sort of license?”

“You didn’t,” he quickly clarified angrily. “I just couldn’t think of a better word. Don’t read into it.”

“So the alternative is I get to deal with your bad mood till you spank one out of the park?”

Spank. One out of the park. When one of the guys on SportsCenter said it, it didn’t have the same effect. But she had introduced it into conversation and so casually. The one word he’d been thinking all night. The word he imagined he heard coming from her lips on a daily basis. But she was being rational and capable. She wasn’t saying it to turn him on. She wasn’t trying to antagonize him, either. He knew he was acting off. Why didn’t he just come out and tell her? Because he needed to believe he was bigger than his secret. He couldn’t bear the thought of her reaction if she wasn’t into it. The look of distaste or, worse yet, revulsion as her opinion of him diminished right before his eyes. Or the capper being she indulged him and then cut him loose after labeling him a pervert. For the first time in his adult life, he questioned his ability to make the right decision.

“It’s probably best if I take you home,” he said abruptly, rising from the couch where they’d been sitting to retrieve his keys. “I don’t think either of us is having a good time.”

“Chase, I don’t work for you. You’re not allowed to dismiss me when you don’t like what I have to say.”

“I’m not dismissing you I’m trying to spare us the aggravation of a useless argument, and give us both a chance to cool off.”

“But I’m not mad,” Amanda said slowly and deliberately, feeling as though she had pieced together a puzzle. “This is about me not willing to follow you around, isn’t it? You’re mad because you’re not getting what you want. What would you have me do, Chase? Show up at the Cold Creek tomorrow and tell thirty people they’re out of work because their boss decided to close the place and follow around her favorite baseball player? I realize that they’re not as important as you, but their families think they’re pretty special and are depending on them. And while I’m not an important cog in the world dynamic either, if I don’t show up, the place can’t stay open.”

She was completely right and he knew it, and it only irritated him further. His alternate excuse for being distracted wasn’t sounding much better than his real one.

“I’m trying to be a gentleman here,” he growled. “But I’m warning you, if you push this, you’re going to find yourself someplace you don’t want to be.”

“I’m already someplace I don’t want to be. You know that place where you always want me around only to shut me out, all with your cool courteousness? This certainly makes me want to give up my career and be at your beck and call, although I don’t know what Jack will do with all the free time now that he won’t be spying on me anymore.”

Chase had positioned his most trusted security at the restaurant in response to some threatening jeers from the stands referencing why his head wasn’t in the game. He knew Jack wasn’t exactly inconspicuous or personable, but the last thing he needed was her questioning him on it, given she inadvertently was the cause.

“He’s not spying on you.” Chase could feel his teeth starting to grind. “He’s there to protect you when I can’t be there.”

“I never knew I needed protecting until I met you.”

“Don’t be childish, Amanda. There are people out there who are truly crazy, take it all too seriously, and know exactly where to find you. Why do you think I have them?”

Childish? Amanda thought, enraged. If anyone was acting like a spoiled child it was him, only he was hiding behind all his gallantry and nebulous attempts to scare her. “I have an idea,” Amanda said with overzealous sarcasm as she rose in agreement to call it a night. “Why don’t you blame your slump on me? Looks like you’re doing it anyway. Tell your coach you’re not getting enough rest because I’m not there to suck your dick when you’re on the road, and it’s throwing your timing off.”

Amanda knew she struck a nerve when his face immediately fell in response to the shock of her crudeness. “What did you just say to me?”

Sparked by her own gumption and charged by his reaction, Amanda switched course. Spitting out the obscenity felt good; so did watching the drastic and sudden change in his disposition. It was one moment where he looked dark and primal and about to lose control, then successfully reeled it back in. Clearly he wasn’t used to being spoken to like that, probably by anybody. There was an exhilaration that came with seeing him go from considerate and polite to as frustrated as she was. If they were going to have their first fight, they might as well have it. Finally, she was getting a glimpse of what in all probability was his flaw and could begin to view their relationship from a level playing field. And that flaw was he expected her to agree and go along with whatever he thought was important. Apparently, he also expected her to saddle the blame when his rose-colored glasses got fogged up. How he acted when he didn’t get his way and she called him on it spoke volumes. If he thought he was going to manipulate her with great sex and an abundance of cash, she was going to set him straight here and now. Closing the distance between them, Amanda stood confrontationally in front of him. With her hands planted on her hips, she recklessly continued. “You heard me. You can tell everyone at your next press conference that you’re not making your numbers because your latest fling is fucking all the power out of you with her voodoo pussy.”

And just like that, she triggered him. Her vulgarity was not only deplorable but completely unexpected and he instinctively reacted to it. With well-honed reflexes, Chase grabbed her upper arm and spun her halfway around. Seconds later, she felt the stinging slap of his free hand connecting smartly with the right side of her behind.

“OH!” Amanda squealed with surprise and indignation, trying to pull herself out of his grip.

His hand swung again and her left side received the same stinging treatment. Then, with her arm still solidly in his grasp, Chase began to march her in the direction of his bedroom. She planted her heels into the hardwood floor in protest, her bare feet sticking on the thick shine and acting as a momentary stopper against his momentum. Further determined, he effortlessly hoisted her over his shoulder, applying another well-placed swat. He bore her the rest of the way down the hall, with Amanda pounding his broad back and swearing at him with every step. He slammed the bedroom door shut with a backward kick. When in his room, he set her down briefly.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

Before she could decide how best to answer him, Chase took a seat on the corner of the bed, hauling her with him. He unceremoniously tossed her facedown across his knees.

He flipped up her flowered sundress in one hand and pulled her panties down to her thighs with the other as she demanded an explanation. His arm clamped firmly around her waist and his other hand rested ominously on her now bare bottom. With her only view that of the floor, he said in a voice she’d never heard before, “Amanda, in ten seconds, I’m going to full-on spank you. If you really don’t already know why, we’ll discuss it later. You can fight me, accept it, or call the cops when it’s over, but make no mistake, little girl, it’s about to happen.”

Without another word, Chase Walker raised his hand and changed the game again.