The Sweet Spot

CHAPTER 8

AMANDA WOKE UP the next morning in Chase’s ginormous bed alone. All snuggled within his zillion-thread-count cotton sheets and his downy comforters.

She knew she wasn’t free of him. He was located somewhere inside the penthouse apartment. She sat up, pulling the bedding with her, unconsciously reclaiming her modesty and remembered the night before.

Last night was hot and steamy and wild, she thought.

And kinky.

Amanda Cole was not kinky. She was gracious and refined. She wasn’t a prude, but she shied away from the fethishy stuff. Last night was all evidence to the contrary, however. And this wasn’t about toe-sucking or him wanting to drink something out of her shoe. What he did to her actually hurt, enough to make her cry. And that almost seemed like the least of her worries.

The whole episode only lasted about two minutes. A tiny span of time that opened up a floodgate of more feelings than she thought a person could have. She fought him as hard as she could for that first minute, so incensed by what he was doing, but there was no way to match his strength. Chase said nothing as she struggled, simply kept to his word and saw to his task. With uncanny expert precision, he maneuvered around her squirming and kicking to connect with his target every time, using just enough force to remind her of exactly where she was. But as soon as she stopped trying to escape, worn out from all the thrashing, his as well as her own, he began to scold her, something about soap and her mouth. The words were all jumbled in her mind. But she couldn’t forget the same crisp, authoritative tone that continued since he informed her of his intention. It was curt, resolved, and disappointed, definitely disappointed. It demanded her attention, and she found herself getting caught up in it. The more he scolded, the worse she felt. The absence of his generous loving affection cut into her like a knife.

Then they seemed to combine, the pain of his voice with the sting of his hand, and she gave over to it all. It was like she had risen out of her body and was watching it all take place from the ceiling. And whether it was from the ceiling or nothing more than a picture in her mind, she was able to see his handsome face, a mask of determination and control. It was strangely comforting. It matched the look he got when he kissed her, and when he made love to her. Which meant it was a look that was erotic as hell.

It was too many feelings all at once, vying for space in her brain. Pain, shock, frustration, disappointment, love, trust, eroticism, control. Control. She crashed back down to the floor, and once again it was the only thing she could see.

It was then that Amanda really started to cry.

As soon as he recognized her tears for what they were, Chase stopped. He waited a moment, caught his own breath. Then he helped her to stand and stood up next to her. All traces of fury in him had vanished. He almost appeared serene. He certainly didn’t look like he wanted to hurt her any further or force himself on her in any way. He took a few steps back to give her some space, crossed his arms over his chest, and watched, waiting to see what she would do next.

Although her dress fell back down, her panties pooled at her feet. She could feel them around her ankles. She wanted to reach back and try to rub at the burn, but refused to give him the satisfaction of letting him know just how well he’d done the job, as if there were any question. Embarrassment tried to cram its way into her skull. There was just no room for anger. And she didn’t want to be angry with him anyway, she wanted his laughing, loving voice back. If she didn’t hear it, and soon, the absence of it would be more than she could bear. The longer it continued, his silence created an expanding void that grew bigger and she didn’t have the strength to climb out of. She didn’t know how she would be able to stand one more second of it. She swiped at her nose with the back of her hand and choked on a sob the only word she could think of, part question, part exclamation, and all distress signal. “Chase.”

And then he was there, scooping her up and holding her close against his chest. He went back to the corner of his bed, only this time to sit her on his lap. She bit back the wince while he held back a smirk and he settled her more comfortably against him. He held her quietly as she cried incoherent, random words, trying to make sense of it all.

When her last tear was shed and the last word babbled, he kissed her. It was tender, conciliatory, but by no means remorseful. With each kiss, she wanted to coax the words out of him, words to explain, words to forgive. Only he wouldn’t say them. He adoringly hummed and hushed but his mouth was far too busy doing other things. Instead, he tumbled her backward onto the bed and helped her work through each of the feelings that were bottled up inside her, one by one. As each feeling exploded out of her body with the force of a line drive coming off a fastball, he caught it, made it his own, and joined her in it. He matched her emotion for emotion, and it was manic and chaotic and euphoric. . . .

Amanda vigorously shook her head. She could never be accused of being a delicate flower, but last night went beyond aggressive sex. And her feminist school of thought was, if you let a guy hit you once, it’s like giving him permission to make you his punching bag. This felt different and only added to the confusion.

Where had this man come from? This was not the completely gallant gentleman who politely pulled out her chairs, opened all her doors, and held her hand. Who took chivalry to a whole new level. The Chase from last night was forceful, intent on overpowering her and refusing to stop.

Had she even said stop?

No, she hadn’t. She fought and she swore and called him every name she could think of. She even made up a few. It had become an accelerating battle of words and wills until it was clear who was going to come out the victor. But at no time did she tell him to stop. At one point early on, she actually sank her teeth into his side, a decision she could probably thank any lingering soreness for. The resulting volley of sharper swats was a stark reminder of just how much restraint and control he wielded over her. How helpless and completely at his mercy she was. The mind-blowing sex afterward was born of the adrenaline created from the whole experience. It was wrong for him to take that sort of advantage of her. It was even more wrong that she let him. And there was no way to rationalize how, through it all, there was this out-of-body element that she had never felt before. It was feral, hedonistic, and uninhibited.

One of his bathrobes was lying across a corner of the bed. Was he being thoughtful, presumptuous, or just plain lazy? Amanda pondered, standing up. She slipped on the heavy terry cloth. It was completely dry; he hadn’t used it. She settled on thoughtful while tying it at the waist and pulling up the extra material to ensure she wouldn’t step on it when she walked. She tiptoed down the hallway, the same hallway that only hours ago he’d tried to drag her down, peeking into open doors for any sign of him. She encountered his cleaning lady in his memorabilia room, an entire room full of trophies and other dedications to his greatness. Lena was a stout Latino grandmother with a ready smile whom security picked up every morning at five A.M. and drove home at the end of each day since she was hired three years ago. She politely directed Amanda to the kitchen at the opposite end of the hall. Chase’s magnetism started creeping up on her as she got closer and hit her full force before she made it to the entranceway. She drew in her breath and held it. She thought she was ready to face him. She was wrong.

Chase was sitting on a stool at the kitchen’s long center island, which also served as a breakfast bar. He was freshly showered and fully dressed in Kings workout garb, sans his hat and spikes. His blond hair shone under the bright lights overhead in the windowless kitchen, making him look more angelic than mortal. He held on to a coffee cup. The heavy ceramic mug looked normal in his large hand, and probably held a quart of coffee. The remnants of his Paul Bunyan–sized bowl of Cheerios sat beside a stack of newspapers, one opened directly in front of him. Chase always had his morning papers delivered by six and tried to be done reading them all by seven. When he caught sight of her in the entranceway he smiled brightly.

“Morning, angel,” he greeted her, pointing to the opposite end of the long counter near where she was standing. “Coffee’s ready, over there in the corner.” He went back to reading.

Amanda suddenly felt shy. Silly even. Something about the way he’d said “corner.” How could someone telling you where the coffee is sound so dominant and sexy? He was completely relaxed. That was fine. She could follow that lead. She was still feeling the aftereffects from what he’d done to her last night; he was engrossed in the box scores, no big deal. She ambled across the kitchen floor to where her Gulliver-made-it-home-sized mug waited and made herself a trough of coffee. As she methodically poured coffee, then added milk and Splenda, she tried to work up the nerve to broach the subject. To inform him in no uncertain terms she wasn’t that kind of girl, no matter how much she may have acted like one. Nothing came to her mind that sounded even remotely plausible. She didn’t need to rush; she told herself. She could do small talk.

“I thought all you big shots only wore your play clothes when at the field?” She stirred her coffee with a teaspoon that looked more like it was made for soup.

“I have clothes everywhere,” he replied cheerfully. “Sometimes I need to make a sudden appearance. Today I just overslept a bit and wanted to get a jump on the day.” He looked her up and down while her back was turned, before adding, “Lots of great energy.”

Energy, Amanda repeated to herself while she stirred her cup. That would help explain all the electricity that left her feeling so jittery. Maybe it was the way he said it, so at ease with the dimension he was trying to add to their relationship.

He went back to reading as she turned around. She stared at the contents of her mug and took a moment to appreciate that there was no way she could convincingly pretend nothing had changed with so much being left unsaid. If he wasn’t going to bring it up, she was going to have to. He wasn’t focused on her and she considered it a benefit.

“Chase,” she began steadily, but her voice cracked as soon as she said his name, “about last night?”

“Yes?” he asked casually, not looking up from his paper.

“You seemed like you really knew what you were doing there.” She tried to sound snarky, but it came out more flummoxed.

“I do,” he stated, very matter of fact, still seemingly engrossed in the paper, but with the corners of his mouth starting to turn up.

“Like you’ve done that sort of thing before.”

“I have.” He grinned, turning the page and scanning it.

“And that if we keep seeing each other, it’s something you’ll want to do again?”

“I will.” He nodded, still grinning. He took a sip of his coffee, his eyes focused on the comics.

His two-word, nonchalant answers and perceived lack of interest was starting to completely unnerve her. She hadn’t even come out directly to say what she was talking about and he was behaving like they had entered into a pact that only he was privy to.

“What if I don’t want you to?”

Chase finally looked up from his paper, his eyes spearing her from across the granite island. “Then you better not be naughty.”

Any bravery she had mustered up evaporated when he focused on her. The temperature in the room turned up a hundred degrees and his robe became more like a straitjacket on her body. Amanda felt as though she were slowly being smothered in his hotness. Even when he wasn’t looking at her, her heart was racing. Now he was grinning at her as if she were standing there naked. His eyes shot green laser beams from where he was sitting that effectively drilled into her core, impaling her into the counter she was leaning against, rendering her immobile.

Naughty. The word, spoken by him, was like a caress, an ardent invitation daring her to be just that. It had a hundred different meanings and every single one of them led straight back to last night.

“You might want to start by watching your language,” Chase added, still smiling but shaking his head reprovingly.

From across the room, his confidence was like a force field that radiated out, pushing her up against the counter and ravaging her. He wasn’t even apologetic. He had just alluded to the fact he would spank her whenever he felt she needed spanking.

She tried to scoff in bravado, but it was ineffective. “That sounds like I have no say in this whatsoever.”

“Doesn’t it?” He went back to reading the paper, chuckling.

“What if you decide you want to do something crazy, like snap my neck?” she sputtered, detesting that it had started to sound like they were entering into negotiations.

“That’s not how it works,” Chase told her, laughing and looking at her again, this time with his heart-melting boyish sincerity. “And why would I want to see anything on you snapped? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m completely in love with you.”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” she mumbled, looking down at the floor. She hoped he couldn’t see how he was affecting her. She knew it wasn’t working. His gentle teasing served only as a reminder of how comfortable he was with all of it. Or that her having stayed somehow signified an acceptance of terms.

Chase patiently waited for her to look at him, and then cleared his throat to get her attention when he felt she’d stalled enough. When she finally brought her face back up to meet his, he smiled again, his eyes crinkled at the corners in amusement.

“Amanda, there’s nothing wrong with you liking it.”

“I never said I liked it,” she replied too quickly, blushing furiously in her epic-fail attempt to stare him down.

“Women don’t make the kind of love you did last night after being deeply offended. You were amazing.” He winked at her.

Amanda blinked, and her eyes filled with tears. It was like he was poking fun at a weakness in her. She wasn’t supposed to be acting like she’d be willing to let him do it again, let alone at his discretion. She was supposed to be breaking up with him, telling him to find some crazy party girl who lives her life with all bets off, a girl who likes it rough.

“Oh, baby. It’s okay.” As soon as Chase saw her well up, he put down his coffee and rose, going to her. He cradled one side of her face in his hand, gently kissing her other cheek. He wove his hand in her hair and swiped at her tears with his thumb before kissing her again. He was sensitive, but also familiar, and inadvertent chuckles continued to roll out of him. She was tousled and muddled and fretful, all swallowed up in his bathrobe. She was completely irresistible. Heaven help him, how was it possible to be more infatuated with her? He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her.

“The first time is always overwhelming, so many emotions and sensations going on. It’s a lot to come to grips with. Not to mention I probably wore you out and you’re exhausted. I don’t blame you for being confused. It’s gonna be all good, I promise.” His voice was a mellow coo even with the underlying chuckle.

“You sound so sure of yourself.” She wept angrily into his chest, further distressed that she couldn’t ignore how secure she felt in his arms. “You’re always so sure of yourself, it’s just not fair.”

“I just trusted you with the only secret I have; does that make you feel on more solid ground?”

She stopped weeping, lifting up her head. “This is your secret?”

A loud laugh erupted with his exhale. “How’d you hear about it?”

It was true. There was a definite ring of scandal to it. It was the kind of quirk that if found out would stick him into that category of smarmy bad-boy pro athletes who never quite shake the status. Chase was the spitting image of virtuous morality. He had easily kept this side of himself from her until she demanded he show it. Or maybe not so easily. He had become increasingly irritable, which had prompted her to push for an explanation. One she acted completely out of character to get, which coincidently summed up how she conducted herself since their relationship started.

“People with reputations for my sort of thing usually end up wearing it as a moniker, whether they want to or not. I’d like to keep this one to myself. I’d appreciate it if you did, too. No matter which way you end up going.”

“Going?” she repeated. It was one thing for her to consider leaving him, but his mentioning it didn’t sound remotely the same.

Chase took her hand and, grabbing her coffee cup with the other, led her over to where he had been sitting. He placed her mug on the island in front of the chair next to his and sat back in his own, watching her climb up onto it. Once she was seated, her feet dangled almost a foot off the ground.

Good God, she thought as she settled and folded her hands in her lap, is everything in this house tailor-made for a giant? Or did she just feel suddenly small and childlike? He wasn’t reading the paper anymore. As she got into her chair, he had gathered them and put them to the side. His eyes were still bright, but no longer teasing. She had his full attention.

“You probably have a lot of questions. What do you want to know?” Chase said seriously. “Ask away.”

“This is a sex thing for you?” Amanda dove right in.

“Mostly, but not always,” he answered before narrowing his eyes at her. “I certainly wasn’t turned on while you were hurling obscenities at me.”

She flushed anew at the change in his tone before remembering that he was the one with the explaining to do. She threw the inquisition right back on him. “If it’s a sex thing, why didn’t you tell me about it before? We’ve had lots of sex. You really could have inducted me into your inner circle in a way slightly less jarring.”

Chase shrugged and for just a moment looked boyishly contrite. “You really didn’t seem the type or pick up the vibe. Girls with a taste for it usually tip their hands pretty quick. I don’t even have to make like it’s my idea. They practically throw themselves over my lap when I even hint at it. Girls who aren’t into it are pretty clear it won’t be happening and that’s fine, too, but I have to admit, I lose interest. I never expected finding you would hit me so hard. I’m just so smitten with you. I didn’t want to take the chance of scaring you off. And you never misbehaved. Although”—his eyes began to gleam—“you zeroed right in on my biggest pet peeve. Ladies should talk like ladies. You timed it perfectly; my palm had really begun to itch. You’ve always made me work for it, why should this be any different? After last night, I’m confident you felt the vibe just fine.”

Amanda tried to sound offended, and couldn’t quite pull it off. “You think I provoked you on purpose?”

Chase smiled again, but he was regarding her closely. “I don’t think any of that really matters now, does it? It happened and you stayed. And I’m so glad you did. Like I said . . . amazing.”

“Are there any other surprises? Like is this an ass thing for you? You know, a fixation? Are you going to want to . . . ?” The question trailed off and her eyes grew wide.

Chase chuckled at the transparent look on her face. “Relax, angel. I crossed that one off my bucket list a long time ago. It was overrated. Of course, if it’s something you insist on trying, I’ll be happy to oblige, but it’s really not on my radar. I’m not interested in your gorgeous booty for that.”

“How’d you manage to keep it a secret?”

This time he laughed, deep and rich, in reaction to just how fast she wanted off the anal topic. Then took a moment to consider just how truthful he should be. There was no need to tell her about pain sluts or women so turned on by it, they often wanted more than even he felt comfortable giving. “It’s not the kind of thing people generally shout from the rooftops. But to give you the short version, a lot of one-night stands with horny groupies, women who drink too much and think too little. They come on stronger than a freight train when I’m on the road. I threaten, they request, everyone’s happy.”

Amanda’s mouth formed a thin, tight line and then twitched it from one side to the other. Yeah, that wasn’t going to work at all.

Chase grinned at her, delighted. “Security sweeps everywhere I go since I met you. As soon as you stop being stubborn and come with me on the road, you can tell me if they’re not doing a good job and I’ll fire them. And I’ve never brought a woman here.”

“Never?”

“Not for that,” he clarified with a wry grin. “Even if you believed only half of what you’ve heard, that still makes me fifty percent playboy. But I’ve always been careful about the women I have my picture taken with more than once. Women greedy for fame often don’t have a moral compass, and it’s hard to tell the difference. And this is my thing, the only thing I have that I can call my own. A lot of responsibility comes with being on a box of Wheaties. I may have played around a little at my places in Tampa and California, with women who had as much to risk as I did, but not here. This is where I call home. I made up my mind a long time ago that there was only one girl who would go over my knee here. I’ve spent a long time looking for you. I can’t believe you fell right into my lap.”

He indulged himself in a chortle at his own pun before grinning at her, his eyes shining like a kid who had gotten everything he wanted for Christmas. “Baby, I got it so bad for you, I can’t even stand it. You’re my total package.”

It couldn’t be happening. He was the walking, talking, living definition of the total package, with the possible exception of being able to go from zero to Neanderthal in under a minute. And he had just confessed he was mad about her, had been searching for her even.

“This is like the most jacked-up version of Cinderella ever,” she finally said.

Chase laughed again, and then settled his gaze back on her affectionately. “I never thought of it like that.”

“Maybe you’d prefer to hear my Superman theory?” Amanda giggled at the mental picture of him in full costume, swooping down and adjusting bad attitudes, one naughty girl at a time.

He actually looked like he was considering it, but he was really just enjoying the relief of those blue eyes looking at him playful and flirty, and all the things that look really meant. “Cinderella works for me. I have no problem getting in touch with my feminine side. And after all, I would like to believe I’ve found my princess. So now you know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I should never have tried to keep it from you. But it’s who I am. I think it’s who you are, too, if you’re willing to trust me and explore it. I promise you, it can be downright fun. A steady partner in this particular crime is all new to me, too. We’ll figure it out. I have no desire to make you a submissive who does everything I say. Lord knows I have enough to do running my own life. You turned into an exceptional woman without my help—if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. There’s no dungeon here where I want to tie you up and make you suffer. No deep, sinister plot. The worst thing that’ll ever happen is that every now and then, like last night, you may end up taking one for the team.”

“Take one for the team?” Amanda repeated. In baseball, it meant getting in the way of the ball and letting it hit you. She didn’t like the sound of that at all.

Chase gave a half laugh, then went serious, his eyes darkening like turbulent deep sea waters. “It means there may come a time you get spanked when you don’t think you deserve it.”

She gasped at the change in his expression. “I don’t ever deserve it!”

He just looked at her, a small smile playing at his lips; so much for her to learn. He’d bet dollars to donuts she’d be trying to find ways to “deserve” it before nightfall.

“Of course not, precious, you’re my perfect angel. But I’m a typical alpha male and a straight-up old-fashioned guy. This one is going by my rules. If you remain, your job is to stay beautiful and think up ways to entertain yourself. Hopefully, most of them include me. My job is to cherish and protect you. Fulfill all your heart’s desires.” His eyes began to narrow again. “And make sure you mind your manners.”

“What’s wrong with my manners?” she asked with a pout. It was her first pout and he adored it.

“Absolutely nothing, that’s why you caught me by surprise last night. Vulgarity is not your bag. Frankly, it might have been a deal breaker when I met you if it was. I’m out in the public a lot. I have to be able to trust that I won’t end up embarrassed. I look at last night as just another instance of you making me earn it. You have all the grace of a princess. My princess.”

It’s hard not to feel just a little bit special when a gorgeous, hunky gazillionaire keeps calling you his princess, no matter how overconfident he sounds when doing it. He certainly had all the makings of a prince, albeit one who was part teddy bear, part brute, and all sorts of dangerous. If nothing else, he was a royal pain in the ass, on several levels. And he was handing her the keys to his kingdom. She smiled at her own train of thought until his voice brought her back to the reality of the conversation.

“There’s just one thing you must always remember. You’re not a prisoner here. If you stay, with all the perks and perils of this relationship, it’s because it’s your choice. You can leave at any time and for any reason. But you can only leave once.”

She heard the door to the kingdom slam shut, and she was tossed back into the moat. She wasn’t completely sure what he was talking about, but he sounded very serious for someone stating the obvious. It had all the earmarkings of an ultimatum.

“Okay?” She stared at him blankly, waiting for him to elaborate.

“It may not be as easy as it sounds, especially if you don’t like when I lay down the law.”

She wanted to be afraid, but it was impossible with the way he said it. It sounded foreboding, but at the same time tempting.

“There’s a lot of power-playing involved, for both of us. I may have the upper hand on you physically, but you’ll have total control over me mentally. You withdrawing from me when I make you uncomfortable can’t be a weapon you use against me. We would get toxic fast. And committing to something like this based on one experience is never a good idea.” Chase leaned over and kissed her forehead while slipping off his barstool. “You have a lot to think about, angel. In the meantime, I’m going to head out to the stadium and catch some batting practice, work out with the team. Feel free to stay as long as you’d like. Take a bath, go back to bed. Your clothes are already clean and hung up in my closet. When you’re ready to leave, just tell Lena and she’ll call downstairs for a car to take you home.”

Chase reached into a drawer near the kitchen entrance and pulled out a baseball cap. He put it on and the boy appeared, carefree and playful, his recent trouble on the field already in his rearview mirror. He stopped just short of exiting the kitchen and turned back to her, his grin slightly penitent.

“You know, the minute you tell me you’re sure, we’ll be picking out the ring. And I support whatever you want to do with the restaurant. The following-me thing was the lame excuse I was using because I couldn’t tell you why I was all pent up. That problem’s solved.” He smiled at her from across the room, all confidence and compromise. “But spring training is going to be awful if you’re not in Tampa with me. I don’t sleep well on the plane. I’ll see you tonight.”

And then he was gone. She heard him holler good-bye to Lena, the woman’s “Adios” from a safe distance, then the echo of the front door closing and she was alone. She flushed anew with the thought of his housekeeper hearing any part of their discussion. Amanda looked around the kitchen, toying absently with her coffee cup. He was right. She had a lot to think about. Was she ready? Could she handle the sort of relationship he had proposed to her? And if she couldn’t, would she be able to say good-bye and not feel a heartbreaking void? She already felt his absence, and he hadn’t been gone more than a minute. She wanted to be angry with him. He had no right to wait until after he sucked her in with all his appeal to reveal this side of himself. He was offering her everything he had in exchange for her pain threshold and willingness to submit to him on his whim. That she was even considering it disturbed her. Equally disturbing, he acted like already knew what her answer would be.