The Toyotomi Blades

18

Okay, I’ve got a big mouth. Sometimes it starts working before my brain is in gear. As soon as the closing credits for News Pop started crawling across the monitor screens in the studio, I knew I just had a major meltdown. I had an image of gears popping out of my ears as I tried to figure out why I had taken on this challenge.

If you’re raised with an Asian background, the consequences of a big mouth can be dire because of the problem of face. Face is the notion that your life is tightly entwined with your family, your ancestors, your clan, your village, your company, and your country. When some disgrace or insult falls on you, it also falls on all the entities to which you’re connected. The shame is magnified a thousandfold. Face is often used to excuse all sorts of ridiculous behavior in books and movies. Unfortunately, it’s also a motivator for some equally ridiculous real-life actions.

A few years ago the captain of a cargo vessel had the misfortune to get caught in a severe mid-Pacific storm. The captain might have avoided the worst of the storm by taking a longer route, but he was anxious to reach his destination. His ship was stuffed with Mazda automobiles and during the storm some of the cars broke free from their tie-downs and caused considerable damage. Almost one hundred cars were damaged.

Other captains might have been able to shrug off the incident. The marine insurance would pay for the damage and no people were injured. But this captain was Japanese, and he had lost face. So when the vessel finally came into port he went to the deck where the worse damage occurred and tried to commit seppuku, which is a ritual suicide vulgarly known as hara kiri (slit the belly). Unfortunately for the captain, his archaic gesture turned from tragedy to farce because of one little detail: He didn’t bring a big enough knife. In the old days they committed seppuku with a short sword. The captain brought a pocketknife.

He stabbed himself over twenty times. Stabbing yourself in the abdomen can be a painful and slow death, so seppuku usually involved an assistant who would cut off the head of the person committing the suicide. The captain had no assistant, and despite the number of stab wounds he had inflicted on himself, the crew was able to find him and get him to a hospital before he bled to death. Instead of dying to apologize for his lack of ability, the captain confirmed this lack in his botched suicide.

I didn’t have a penknife, but my mouth was able to inflict all the damage necessary. I was supposed to uncover more information about the Toyotomi blades by staying in Japan another week. The truth was that for all I knew I could stay in Japan another year and still not find out any more information. When I thought of it, most of what I had now was given to me by Sonodasan or Junko. My major contribution was figuring out that the blades might fit together to form a map, and I wasn’t even sure if that was accurate.

By agreeing to the challenge I ran the risk of embarrassing myself in a culture where embarrassment can be acute and serious. Of course, it wasn’t as if all my friends and neighbors would know what I had done. But I would know. The Japanese part of my Japanese-American heritage would be mortified by the loss of face if I didn’t come through with something.

Junko and Sugimoto joined us in the studio. Yukiko-chan and Nagahara-san seemed very excited after the show. Sugimoto looked glum, as if Nagahara-san’s interest in the story was somehow a personal slight against him. Forming the Yin to Sugimoto’s Yang, Junko was simply beaming and basking in what I took to be praise from Nagahara-san and Yukiko-chan.

When I asked Junko what they were telling her, she just smiled and said, “They’re very enthused about this story. We’re going to give it a big buildup over the next week. We got a pretty good response from the Sansei detective angle we played this week in our promos and next week should be even better because every school kid knows about Hideyoshi Toyotomi. This would be just like an American audience finding out about a treasure hidden by George Washington or Abraham Lincoln.”

“But I’m not sure that I can find the treasure,” I protested. “I just said that I’d try to get more information about the blades by next week’s show.”

“Oh, we know that,” Junko said airily. “Nagahara-san doesn’t expect you to solve the mystery. He just wants you to do your best over the next week. Whatever you come up with we’ll put into the most positive light possible. The big pull for next week’s show will be to find out what you came up with. You had a highly rated show in the States about Al Capone’s vault. When they opened it on live television they found a bunch of dirt and a few old bottles. The sponsors got their audience, though, which was the real point of the show.”

“But I’m going to need some help to work on this. I don’t want to end up looking stupid on next week’s show.”

“I called one of the executives at Nissan. The staff hunted down his home phone number for me. We discussed your need for help with computer enhancement and he agreed to get Nissan to help you.”

“But wouldn’t it be easier to get originals sent from Rotterdam or New York?”

“Sure, but that would cut into several minutes of video tape showing Nissan’s technological prowess. They’re one of our main sponsors and that kind of piece won’t hurt them and it certainly won’t hurt the show.”

“But what if I don’t find out anything new about the blades in the next week?”

“Oh, I’m sure you will.” Junko looked almost effervescent. She had an expression on her face that said the possibility that I wouldn’t find anything more about the blades was unthinkable. Unfortunately, that was all I could think of.

When I got back to the greenroom, Mariko gave me a big kiss. “We don’t have to worry about your makeup now! You looked great, but I didn’t understand what was going on. You opened your mouth and all this Japanese came out. I started giggling. It looked like one of those badly dubbed kung fu movies. The two anchors seemed extremely pleased at the end.”

“They should be pleased. I told them I’d stay another week in Tokyo and solve the mystery of the Toyotomi blades for them.”

“You what?”

“Well, actually I said I’d work on the mystery and see what I could come up with. But it’s obvious that they’ve got pretty high expectations.”

“Ken, why would you say you’d solve the mystery?”

“I didn’t say I could solve the mystery. I said I would work on the mystery. I don’t know if the mystery can be solved. It will let me stay another week with you here in Tokyo.”

“But what about the Yakuza who are after you?”

“I’d forgotten that little detail,” I said. “Thanks for reminding me.”