Mychael looked at me with a mixture of concern and relief. “You’re still here.” He left out “with Tam,” but his eyes said it clearly enough. “Vegard, allow no one in.”
“Yes, sir.” Vegard had the look of a man who knew a chewing out was coming. I knew it was my fault. What had happened between Tam and me wouldn’t have happened if Vegard had been in the room with us. I owed my bodyguard an apology-and myself a swift kick for not listening to him.
Mychael closed the door.
“I asked Vegard to stay in the hall,” I told him. “My fault, not his. So, if you’re-”
Mychael held up a hand. “The last order I gave Vegard was to get you out of watcher headquarters.”
“He did a fine job.”
“I expected nothing less.”
“After what happened in the Quad, I needed to talk to Tam, so I insisted that we come here.”
“I assumed as much. I needed to find you, so knowing exactly where to look saved me some much-needed time.”
Mychael’s sea blue eyes went from me to Tam, searching, assessing, and knowing-but not judging. At least not judging me. He knew. How could he not sense the umi’atsu bond between Tam and me? Mychael was the paladin of the Conclave Guardians, duty bound to be the scourge of black magic practitioners everywhere. If what Tam and I had wasn’t blooming black magic, I didn’t know what was.
“Tam and I have a very big problem.” I didn’t care what my family said; confession was good for the soul-or at least the nerves.
“Umi’atsu,” Tam said simply.
Mychael didn’t even bat an eye. “How far has it gone?”
“Far enough.”
I spoke. “He knows exactly how crappy my day has been.” I tried for glib, all I got was ignored.
“She doesn’t know, does she?” Mychael’s voice was low and quiet.
Tam drew himself up. “I won’t surrender to it, so I didn’t think it necessary to tell her. She’s been through enough already.”
I looked from one to the other. “As fascinating as it is to listen to the two of you talk about me as if I’m not here, would one-or both-of you tell just what the hell is going on?”
Mychael’s face was an expressionless mask. “You tell her, or I will.”
“An umi’atsu bond does more than link two mages,” Tam said. “It enables them to tap into each other’s power.”
“Like what we did under the embassy and in the Quad. I understand that. What’s so…?” Cold realization prickled down my back. “Back it up; did you say each other’s power?”
He nodded. “Magically speaking, we are becoming one. You can focus and use my power now.” He hesitated. “Eventually, I will be able to do the same with yours.”
“Tam, my power’s nothing to write home about. You’re talking about the Saghred’s power.”
“Yes.”
Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse.
“As far as the Saghred is concerned, we will be one and the same,” he told me. “Actually, I could probably tap the Saghred’s power now.” His expression was bleak and hard.
“Now?” Reality sank in, and lately my reality hasn’t been pretty. “You could use the Saghred.” Saying it out loud just made it worse.
“Or the Saghred could use him,” Mychael finished for me. “Either way is just as dangerous. You were only a moderately talented sorceress until just a few weeks ago. Tam has been a master of the dark arts for most of his adult life. He would immediately be able to wield the Saghred’s power to its full extent.”
Tam spoke. “Raine, it won’t happen, but the-”
“Damn right, it won’t,” I shot back.
“But the consequences would be dire if it did,” he pressed forcefully. “So we have to face all possibilities. If the Saghred ever gained complete control of me, the only way to stop me-and to destroy what I would become-would be to kill me.” He looked to Mychael like a man about to ask the ultimate favor of a friend.
“If it comes to that, I will be there for you,” Mychael promised with quiet conviction.
Tam inclined his head in formal gratitude. “Thank you.”
“Thank you?” I couldn’t believe this. “Thank you? No, no, there’ll be no thank-yous, no need to ‘be there’ for anybody, because none of this is going to happen.”
My heart was pounding absurdly loud in my ears. The Saghred didn’t want to use Tam; it wanted Tam to use it. Tam couldn’t get his hands on the Saghred, but he’d just gotten his hands on me. Use me, use the Saghred. Oh shit. The rock was starving and it wanted souls. There was no way in hell that I was feeding the thing and the Saghred knew it, so it forged an umi’atsu bond between me and Tam. Since I refused to feed it, given enough time and temptation, Tam just might.
I turned to Mychael. “In watcher headquarters, when I vaporized those demons, I didn’t feel anything holding the Saghred back. Are the containments-”
“Gone,” Mychael confirmed. “A few hours ago, I received a report from the citadel saying that the containment spells around the Saghred have failed, as have the wards on the room. The timing coincided precisely with what you did. I’ve ordered my men to guard the door to the containment room; it’s no longer safe to be in the room itself.”
That explained why Sarad Nukpana was able to put in a guest appearance in my dream-and why I couldn’t get rid of him. No restraints on the Saghred meant no restraints on Nukpana. The Saghred was free and clear to do anything it could persuade, compel, or trick me into doing; and in a matter of days, hours, or even right now, it could do the same to Tam. What we’d done with each other and to each other was the Saghred testing the waters, seeing how much it could get away with. It was a test we’d both failed.
I took a shallow breath and pushed it out, trying to calm down. It didn’t work, so I tried another. Calm wasn’t happening. Screw calm. “None of that will happen,” I repeated it like that would help make the nightmare any less real. “The Saghred can’t be invincible; there has to be a way to destroy it.”
“Raine, our top mages and scholars couldn’t find a way,” Mychael said. “Neither could the Guardians. The best of our order couldn’t even scratch it.”
I let the silence sit for a moment. “When was the last time anyone tried?”
“When your father brought the Saghred back to Mid.”
“Anybody tried to whack the damned thing lately? All it’s eaten in nine hundred years is my father and Sarad Nukpana. It’s starving. And it’s latched on to me, so we know it’s desperate. That rock is vulnerable-and it knows it.”
“It just tore through the strongest containments spells possible,” Mychael reminded me. “That’s not vulnerable.”
“Sarad Nukpana told me before that the Saghred is conserving energy for important things, so apparently it doesn’t have much to spare. But if that rock manages to get itself a decent meal, then we’ll really be in trouble. Uncle Ryn’s still alive because he doesn’t wait around for his enemies to get stronger. He kills them right the first time.”
“Raine, it repelled that Reaper,” Tam said. “That was not the act of a weak enemy.”
Mychael went very still. “Reaper?”
I waved a dismissive hand. “Yeah, one tried to suck all the souls out of the rock through me. It didn’t succeed, and I’m hoping it won’t come back for seconds.” I pressed on before Mychael started asking questions, then making demands beginning with me going back to the citadel.
I ticked today’s events off on my fingers. “I squashed that yellow demon, vaporized three of the blue ones, and held off a Reaper-all with the Saghred’s help.” I grinned and felt it turn fierce. “The rock’s been working hard today.”
“The most vulnerable enemy can also be the deadliest,” Mychael noted coolly. “To survive, such an enemy will risk everything. The reward is great, but the consequences of failure are greater.”
“So you’re saying we shouldn’t try?”
“Not at all, but I don’t go into a battle without a strategy.
And make no mistake, this would be a battle, possibly one we would not survive.”
“So ‘walk in, smash rock’ isn’t a strategy.”
Mychael’s lips actually curled into a grin. “It’s not used very much.”
“Sometimes simple is best,” I countered. “The previous efforts to destroy the Saghred, they were all magical, right?”
“Mostly.”
“Whenever Phaelan wants something gone, he blows it up. The Saghred looks like a cannonball; I say we use it like one. Put a big enough powder charge behind it… And if it doesn’t work, some payback would feel good right about now. That rock has done enough to us; it has to stop.”
“Raine, I-”
“Tam’s not going to die, and you’re not killing him.” My words lashed out in anger and desperation. “The two of you talk about it like it’s some kind of twisted gentleman’s agreement. Tam’s just nobly going to stand there while you lop off his head-all because of that damned rock.”
“That is a worst-case scenario,” Mychael said firmly. “I don’t want to kill Tam.”
Tam smiled crookedly. “And I’m not keen on dying.”
I ran a hand over my face. “Then let’s stop talking about what you say won’t happen and find a way to make sure that it doesn’t.” I looked at Mychael. “Tam says an umi’atsu bond can’t be broken-safely.”
“It can’t. And even with the few reported successes, the process was extended over weeks. We don’t have weeks. The Saghred links the two of you, and now with it unbound, you may only have days, perhaps only hours. Tam, can you hear Raine’s thoughts?”
“No, only when she’s really scared.”
“I’m not scared; I’m pissed.”
“Tam and I got that impression loud and clear,” Mychael said, smiling faintly. “No mind reading necessary.”
“There are four stages to an umi’atsu bond,” Tam told me. “I believe we’re halfway between the first and second stage.”
I glowered. “What’s stage two?”
“I’d know exactly what you’re calling the two of us right now.”
“Before stage two,” Mychael said, his expression distant.
“That’s workable.”
“You have something in mind.” The tightness in Tam’s voice told me he already didn’t like it.
“I do. I can’t separate you from Raine, but I may be able to slow the bond’s progression.”
I resisted the urge to take a step back. “To buy us some time.”
“But first I need to see how far it has gone.”
“And you’re going to do that how?” My mouth asked the question; my feet thought it was a good time to run.
He saw it in my eyes. “Raine, I would never hurt you.”
“I know that.” And I did. But that didn’t mean I wanted the paladin of the Conclave Guardians carrying out a search warrant inside my head.
“What about the Saghred?” I asked. “I don’t think it’s going to like you trying to slow down its plans.”
“No, I don’t think it will.”
“Mychael, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“That is a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Because it’s your job.”
“It’s more than my job, and you know it.”
I did.
And so did Tam. The tension in the room went up a notch none of us needed.
I exhaled slowly. “I’m not willing to take that risk.” My chest and throat felt tight and the Saghred didn’t have a thing to do with it. “I don’t want to hurt anyone-especially you or Tam.”
Mychael’s calm blue eyes held mine. “Raine, it is you who will be hurt if this bond is allowed to continue unchecked. I promise you that I will do whatever I can to keep that from happening-and I swear on my honor that I will not hurt you.”
Unless it’s necessary, my inner pessimist said.
Mychael’s steadfast and reassuring gaze wasn’t helping things any.
“Please, let me help.” His voice was low and soft. It wasn’t his spellsinger’s voice. Mychael didn’t want to compel my cooperation; he wanted that decision to be mine. But I knew if I said no, his duty wouldn’t just let me walk out of here. One way or another, he was going to do whatever it was he felt he had to do.
I glanced at Tam. With our umi’atsu bond, Mychael going inside of my mind would essentially be him doing the same to Tam. This wasn’t just my decision.
Tam hesitated and then nodded.
“You’re just taking a look around, right?” I asked Mychael.
“Yes. For now.”
I took a deep breath. “Do it.”
He stepped forward, close enough to kiss me, and placed his thumbs against my temples, his strong hands wrapping around my head, his fingertips a warm pressure against the base of my skull. Mychael held my face gently cradled in his hands, those tropical sea blue eyes gazing into mine, then the intensity of the gaze increased, and he looked inside of me-and he saw what was coiled there in the dark, waiting and growing, malignant. It hissed in anger and in warning.
The hiss wasn’t only from the manifestation of the Saghred in my mind.
It was Tam.
I hadn’t heard him move, but I felt him, standing directly behind me and in my mind, with me and with Mychael. Tam stopped just short of touching me, but even though my eyes were locked in a soul embrace with Mychael, I felt the heat of Tam’s hands behind me, feverishly hot, eager to touch, his black magic desperate to take me away from Mychael. Beyond Tam was the Saghred. Neither one of them liked what Mychael was doing.
My breath suddenly came shallow and fast. Mychael in front of me, Tam behind me, both of them and the Saghred inside my mind. Our powers were brushing, touching, melding, flowing from me to them and back again in waves of ice and fire that left me gasping. My heart threatened to pound its way out of my chest. I couldn’t breathe. It was too much.
It was not nearly enough.
It was the Saghred speaking, and more. It was my darkest self, the self who had enjoyed what I’d done to the demons, reveled in it, who wanted to do it again.
I tried to pull away from Mychael, but his strong fingers held me immobile; and behind me, Tam’s hands went around my waist, tight and unyielding.
I heard Mychael’s voice as if from a great distance. “It’s moving too fast. I have to post a sentry.”
“What is-” The question passed from my mind to Mychael’s. My lips couldn’t form words.
Tam clutched me tightly against him, and I felt the growl vibrate low in the goblin’s chest. This wasn’t Tam; it was his black magic fighting for survival.
“If I don’t, you know what will happen to her.” Mychael’s voice was rough with exertion-and with something else. “Her link to the Saghred could be broken right now and it wouldn’t make any difference. Soon you’ll be too far gone, and you’ll drag her down with you. Is that what you want for Raine?”
Tam didn’t respond.
“Is it?” Mychael’s eyes were blazing, the irises enormous, the white all but gone.
“You know I don’t!”
“Then help me. Help her.”
Suddenly the sense of Tam in my mind became less. My mind’s eye could see the unbelievable effort it took for Tam to hold himself back, to contain his black magic. Mychael’s essence filled me completely, overshadowing Tam, overshadowing the black magic-touching the Saghred.
Touching me.
I couldn’t take it; it was too much. A scream rose in my throat. My body couldn’t move, but my hands were free. I had to stop this. I put one hand on Mychael’s chest, the other on Tam’s, pushing them both away.
At the instant of contact, my breath caught and froze. White-hot light exploded before my eyes and inside my mind, and I saw everything, stark and clear as if outlined. I saw Mychael and Tam as if for the first time, completely, their souls laid bare to me.
I had seen Tam’s magic before, under the elven embassy. It was a dark well of power, potent, rushing up from the deep, primal core of him. His black magic was like a caged beast, wild and untamable, tormented by its imprisonment, desperate to escape, its true nature denied for too long. The bars of its cage had been solid and impregnable, but no longer. Some of the bars had faded; a few had regained their power, glowing with renewed strength, a testament to Tam’s efforts to control, to contain. The beast paced, eager yet patient, knowing it would be freed, and knowing it would be soon.
I had glimpsed Mychael’s magic before, but never like this.
His power shone like a burning sun. Bright, but not pure. I saw towering strength, felt the lethal magic of a warrior who had killed before and would kill again. There was no joy when he took a life, but a solemn acceptance, a sadness that tainted the fulfillment of his duty. Mychael Eiliesor glowed like an avenging angel, unrelenting, bloodstained and singed, beautiful and deadly.
That was the Tam and Mychael that the Saghred saw. It was what the Saghred wanted.
And through me, it was what the Saghred took.