“You are not dragging him in front of that old man for judgment!” I was surprised at how vicious my voice sounded. I also didn’t care. I was too tired and angry and scared and a dozen other emotions to care what I said or how I said it.
We were in Mychael’s office in the citadel; Piaras was in the next room getting some cuts and scrapes taken care of by a Guardian healer.
“I’m not dragging him anywhere,” Mychael told me. “And Justinius is not going to judge him. He’s going to help him.”
“The man’s flat on his back and weak as a kitten. What help-”
Mychael’s sea blue eyes were on mine. “Raine, trust me.”
Trust was in short supply for me just now, as was patience and much-needed sleep. And I wasn’t about to let go of perfectly good anger that easily. All the fighting I’d done today was with magic-sometimes a woman just needed to hit something. An embassy guard would have been perfect. But there wasn’t one in the room with us, and if there had been, I was so tired I probably couldn’t have made a decent fist.
I swore and sighed. “Sorry.”
“About what?”
“Taking your head off. I just-”
Mychael’s lips creased in a smile. “I think it’s still attached, no apologies needed. You haven’t been given much reason to trust anyone, myself included. When I asked you to come here with me from Mermeia, I told you there were mages here who could help. Apparently those mages are in a smaller minority than I thought.”
“A minority of two,” I said. “You and the old man. And seeing that the two of you are the strongest mages on this island-that is, when the old man gets back on his feet-that’s two I’m grateful to have. Don’t think that I’m not grateful for everything you’ve done for me-or at least tried to do.”
“I knew there would be some who would want your power. I just didn’t think it would be-”
“Damned near every mage on the island,” I finished for him. I shrugged a shoulder. “Hey, I’m a Benares. If we’re not on the receiving end of trouble, we’re dishing it out. Trouble’s nothing new for me; I’ve just got more of it than usual right now.”
“I’ve been promising that I’ll get you out of this entire mess.” He paused. “I shouldn’t do that.”
I froze. “You shouldn’t get me out of this mess?”
“No, make the promise to do it. I’m going to do everything I can to keep that promise-”
“But it might not be enough,” I finished.
“No, it might not,” Mychael admitted. He ran his hand over the back of his neck and winced, rubbing what I knew had to be some tired and tense muscles. It’d been over a week since he’d declared martial law. Mychael was burning the candle at both ends and had to be running out of wick. “You’re still linked to the Saghred, and now you’re linked to Tam.”
“And to you,” I said quietly. “Mychael, you shouldn’t have done that.”
His hand stopped midrub, and he looked over at me. “No one forced me. I said I would do whatever I could to keep you safe; posting a sentry was one of those things. I swore to protect you.” He paused, and when he spoke his words were softer. “More important, I want to protect you.”
“And you could lose everything doing it. Literally. Your head included.”
“It was my choice, and regardless of what happens, I know I made the right one.” A shadow of a smile curved his lips. “That being said, I’d very much like to keep my head, and I have no intention of putting it on a chopping block. If someone wants my head separated from the rest of me, they’ll have to fight me for the privilege.”
“Uh, wasn’t what you did against the law? And don’t you uphold the law and all that?”
“Raine, I acted to prevent a worse crime from happening-actually it would have been a catastrophe. The Saghred cannot gain control of you or Tam. What I did to prevent that broke a law; but for the greater good some laws have to be broken. I acted for the greater good.” He grinned. The man actually looked relieved. “My conscience is clear.”
“Your record won’t be if someone finds out,” I shot back. “Mychael, listen to me. For your own good, at least distance yourself from me. Even a little bit might help. It’s like they say: if you don’t want to be accused to being a criminal, don’t be seen with one.”
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I’m afraid I can’t do that. One, you’re not a criminal. And two, I’ve found when it comes to protecting you, the closer I am, the better.” He shook his head in amazement. “You can get into trouble faster than anyone I’ve ever met.”
“It’s a gift.”
“Then you must be talented beyond measure. You almost got yourself killed how many times today?”
I did a quick tally and winced. It wasn’t a good number. “Five definitely, but there might have been more.” I tried an apologetic grin. “There were a lot of demons in that street.”
“At least five.” Mychael just looked at me. “Raine, a man doesn’t face certain death that many times on a battlefield, and today was just you walking around town.” He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I’m going to do everything that I can to keep you safe; there’s just the possibility that I may not succeed. When it comes to you, there’s only so much a mere man can do. If I don’t succeed, know that I did my best.”
A slow smile spread across my face, then I chuckled. “It’s about time.”
Mychael looked completely baffled. “For what? Failure?”
“For finally letting the paladin get off of his white horse.”
One corner of his mouth tipped upward. “He has to sometime. Risk of saddle sores.”
“So, while he’s being just as fallible as the rest of us, does he also put on his boots one foot at a time?”
“He does.” Mychael’s eyes gleamed, and he lowered his voice. “Just don’t let that get around. It’d be bad for his reputation.”
“His secret’s safe. And by the way, tell him that he’s the last person who needs to be sorry for anything. In case you’ve forgotten, I put that amulet around my own neck; you had nothing to do with it. And I’ve realized that my doing that was no accident-even then the Saghred was manipulating me. My father had the amulet made so he could hide the rock and still guard it without keeping it with him.” I snorted. “I mean, what are the odds that nine hundred years later, his daughter ends up with the necklace?”
“Extremely remote.”
“To say the least. I knew Sarad Nukpana wanted that amulet. If Nukpana wanted it, it stood to reason that it was a bad piece of jewelry. So I should stay away from it, right? Nope, not me. When I got my hands on it, did I do the safe and sane thing and put it in my pocket? No. I hung the damned thing around my neck. I didn’t even think about it; I just did it. Then I couldn’t take it off.”
“Temptation is what the Saghred does best,” Mychael said.
“It can destroy cities-but it also possesses magic most subtle.”
“And most potent.” I tossed his words from watcher headquarters back at him. “Mychael, what happened between us in that conference room? Was that the Saghred laying the groundwork for bringing you into our umi’atsu bond… or was it something else? I’m almost hoping it was the rock; we don’t need anything else.”
Mychael studied my face for a long moment. “Did you feel the Saghred between us during what happened this morning?”
“No.”
“I didn’t, either,” he murmured. “But it was there in Sirens, with the two of us and Tam. I felt it then, but not this morning.”
I swallowed. “There was definitely a difference for me, too.”
“Raine, whatever happened between us was triggered by me,” Mychael said quietly. “The Saghred had nothing to do with it.”
I stood very still. “What did you do?”
“I touched you.”
He could say that again.
“Beyond that, I don’t know,” Mychael admitted. “I have more than a passing knowledge of all known magical bonds, contacts, links, or pairings. I’ve read extensively on the subject. What we experienced this morning didn’t meet the criteria for any of them.”
“So we’re breaking new ground here.”
“It appears we are.”
“Any chances it was casual, garden-variety magic?”
“Did it feel casual to you?”
Most definitely not. I didn’t need to say it; Mychael knew how it had felt. I’d never seen colors so sharp, scents more vivid, felt sensations so intense. I’d also never felt so completely alive.
“Any idea what it’s done to us-or plans to do?” Then I thought of me and Tam, of searing kisses, and of feet off the floor. “Or what it plans to make us do?” My voice sounded small.
“None whatsoever,” Mychael freely admitted.
I just stared at him. He didn’t sound concerned, worried, or even mildly bothered.
“Raine, were you harmed by what happened between us?” he asked frankly.
“No.” Quite the opposite. It’d felt really good. Too good.
“Then until we have time to investigate it, or until it proves to be a danger to ourselves or others, I suggest we solve the problems we know we have.”
“We’ve got plenty of those.”
“That we do. When the demons are no longer a threat, then we’ll find out what we’re dealing with.” His expression turned grim. “No more demons have been sighted since early afternoon.”
“You make it sound bad.”
“It is. Dagiks are like scouts. Their task is to locate the nearest food source.”
I felt sick. “This whole island is a demon food source.”
“Exactly. Once the Dagiks knew that, they’d report their findings to their superiors.” He hesitated. “Demons prefer to feed at night.”
My stomach twisted. “College students prefer to party at night. Have you-”
“Dusk to dawn curfew,” Mychael assured me. “The only people out on the streets right now are qualified to be there. Guardians, certain watchers, and demonology department faculty are patrolling the city in teams looking for demons. Sora, her faculty, and grad students are hoping to find that Hellgate before dawn by tracking a couple of demons when they go ‘home.’ ”
I was incredulous. “Grad students? You’ve got to be kidding?”
“I wish I was.”
“Talk about a final exam,” I muttered.
“I didn’t like the idea, but Sora reminded me that’s the kind of job her grad students will soon be doing out in the real world. She assured me that they’re trained and qualified for it, and she’d rather they had their first on-the-job experience with plenty of backup.”
A college student facing down a hungry Volghul in the dark. Shit.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Mychael’s silence was all the answer I needed.
“Wait. Let me guess. I’ve helped enough already.”
“Raine, the demons want to open the Saghred, and for the foreseeable future, you and the Saghred are one and the same.”
Gulp. “I see your point.”
“I’m glad.” Then he grinned slowly, like a little boy with a secret. “And I managed to get you back into the citadel without tossing you over my shoulder.”
My mouth dropped open, then I drew breath to let him have it. “You-”
“It’s too late for you to leave tonight, Raine. The streets to the harbor aren’t safe.”
I just glared at him. He was right and I knew it; and worst of all, so did he. “So if Piaras hadn’t gotten into a fight with those guards, what were you planning on doing when we left Sirens?”
His blue eyes narrowed. “Whatever I had to. After what happened in Sirens with the demon queen, you wouldn’t be safe on the Fortune. If you’d stayed there, you would have been putting Phaelan and his crew in the worst kind of danger. I don’t know if you’re completely safe here, but it’s the best I can do.”
I didn’t like it, but I had to agree with it. Truth was I was too tired to do otherwise. “Thank you,” I said simply.
“My job and my pleasure.”
The silence stretched until I felt a twitch coming on. There was something I wanted to ask Mychael for, but awkward didn’t even begin to describe how it was going to feel asking him for it.
“You’re exhausted, right?” I asked.
He regarded me warily. “I’m still on my feet.”
“Solidly on your feet or about to collapse on your feet?”
“I’m not going down for the count anytime soon,” he assured me with a playful glint in his eyes. “What do you want?”
Just spit it out, Raine.
“The other week after I did that link with those kidnapped spellsingers to find out where they were being held-”
“And you were taken inside the Saghred by Nukpana, and you kept an entire stage full of mages from collapsing-all in the same day. How could I forget?” His eyes went from playful to gentle. “Do you have another headache you need for me to heal?”
“Actually, my head’s the only part of me that doesn’t hurt.”
“I can take care of it.” He took a step toward me.
I took a step back. “See, here’s the problem. I really want you to. I ache and I’m so tired I’m about to drop where I stand, but what happened this morning might make the hands-on part of-”
“It won’t be a problem,” he said with quiet confidence.
“It won’t?”
“When I was this close to you this morning, I could feel the pull of your magic. I’m not feeling that now.”
“Probably because I’m so damned tired.”
“Perhaps, but I don’t think so.” He extended his hand to me. “There’s only one way to find out.”
I looked down at his hand and then up at him. “Touching is necessary for healing, isn’t it?”
“It is.”
I swallowed hard and extended my hand until it almost touched Mychael’s. He quickly stepped forward and enfolded my hand in his before I could pull away.
I let out the breath I’d been holding. The touch of his hand was a warm and gentle pressure. No fire, no surging magic, no urges. Well, maybe one or two urges, but magic didn’t have a thing to do with those.
I blew out a couple of quick breaths. “Okay, that went well.” I still expected the fire, but it still didn’t happen. “Uh… since all of me hurts, what do you have to touch to make it not hurt?”
“I could work with just your hand, but it would be more effective with full-body contact.”
My eyes must have gone as big as saucers.
“A hug would work nicely.” He managed, just barely, not to smile.
Yes, it would. It’d also take care of one of those urges. Still, I felt a little flutter of panic. “Do you think it’s safe?” I was talking really fast. “I mean, I could really use a hug, since I was five times close to death and all that, but what if you-”
In an instant, I was in his arms with my face smushed against his chest.
“And it helps if the patient doesn’t talk.”
I felt his words rumble deep in his chest against my ear. I turned my head and managed to look up at him; he looked down at me.
“Do you know how distracting you are?” he asked me.
“I wouldn’t want you to be distracted.”
“It’s too late for that,” he said quietly.
I meant talking. I don’t think he did.
Mychael pulled me even closer and a slow warmth radiated from his entire body that was pressed full length against mine. A shiver ran through me all the way down to my toes as that warmth flowed through me as if my skin were no barrier.
My breath caught in my throat. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”
“Possibly not,” he murmured against my hair. “But what I’m feeling tells me that you need it.” Mychael’s voice had dropped into that lower, velvety register, softer and more soothing than the barest whisper-his spellsinger’s voice. I felt him smile. “And if your tomorrow’s anything like your today, you’ll need it to survive.”
I nodded against his chest. “Survival is good.”
“I thought you’d see it my way.” He loosened his hold just enough to place his hands carefully on the small of my back. Then with agonizing slowness, he kneaded his way up the length of my back, past my shoulders to my neck, leaving a trail of tingling heat in his wake.
Oh. Yes.
I was intensely aware of the magic flowing out of Mychael into me, and suddenly I saw myself lying on a powdery white sand beach, water that was the tropical sea blue of Mychael’s eyes gently lapping against and over my body, the golden sun overhead warming my bare skin. Something inside me that I’d never known was there took what Mychael gave me and spun it into threads of flickering golden light, fed by that warm seawater and sunlight, and sent it back into him. I felt his breath catch in surprise as it flared to life and spread through his body. We stood pressed together as wave after wave of pulsing light warmed, healed, wrapped around us, joining us together. It intensified, faded, then it was gone. Mychael’s breathing was ragged as he gazed down at me in wonder.
It was what had happened this morning and more, much more.
And the Saghred had absolutely nothing to do with it.
“Ever read about that in any of your magic books?” I managed.
“Never had the pleasure.” Mychael’s voice was a husky whisper. “I would have remembered if I had.”
There was a quiet knock at the door. “Sir? Ma’am?”
Vegard.
I laughed quietly. “Vegard can knock. Who knew?”
“He learned his lesson from last time.” I felt Mychael’s warm breath against my temple. “Though his timing needs work.”
Last time. I’d fallen asleep in the bathtub, and Sarad Nukpana had invaded my dreams. Mychael sensed something was wrong and knocked on my door. When I didn’t answer, he essentially disintegrated the door. Vegard had seen me moments later in a towel. Mychael had gotten there first; he’d seen me naked.
Vegard’s combination grimace and apologetic smile told us he knew what he’d interrupted. “The healer is finished with Piaras, sir.”
“Show him in.”
Vegard did and closed the door behind him.
Piaras’s posture was ramrod straight, his chin up, ready to face the consequences of his actions, to accept the punishment for what he did. But most of all he was scared to death and determined not to show it.
“How much trouble am I in?” Piaras was also ready to get it over with.
“You’re not in trouble,” Mychael told him. “Not from me or the archmagus. But you are in danger.”
“Inquisitor Balmorlan.” Piaras had to force his voice to say the words.
“Him, too,” I said. “But mainly Sarad Nukpana.”
Piaras was confused. “But he’s-”
“Yeah, inside the Saghred,” I finished. “Problem is the containment spells around the Saghred are gone.”
Piaras looked at Mychael in disbelief. “They failed?”
“Eaten away from inside over the past few days,” Mychael said. “And our best spellweavers haven’t been able to repair them.”
“Meaning that there’s nothing between me and the souls inside the Saghred,” I told Piaras. “I’ve spoken with my father-and with Sarad Nukpana. Through dreams at first, then in a more direct way, like a voice in my head.”
“Piaras, have you had any dreams about Sarad Nukpana?” Mychael asked quietly.
Piaras swallowed hard, and the pulse throbbed in his throat. That told me all I never wanted to know. Sarad Nukpana was a master of lies, but he hadn’t lied to me about Piaras. The goblin had been inside Piaras’s head while he slept and influenced him while he was awake. He’d taken the first steps to carrying out his threat. He’d made his move, now he expected me to make mine. Get the Scythe of Nen, get him out of the Saghred. If I refused, Piaras’s fate-and his blood-would be on my hands.
I forced myself to stay calm. “Do you remember any of your dreams?”
“Not really. I remembered that I didn’t like them…” Piaras shook his head. “But I don’t remember what he told me.” He hesitated. “Or what he did.” Hesitancy turned to horror, but not panic. “What did he do to me?”
Piaras was keeping his head, or at least trying. The next time Sarad Nukpana put in an appearance in my dreams, I would find a way to strangle him.
“He may be influencing your actions,” Mychael told him.
Piaras was silent for a few heartbeats. “What I did tonight?”
“You’re good with a blade,” I told him. “Don’t take this the wrong way, sweetie, but you’re not that good. You were fighting two-on-one, and those embassy guards were doing their best to divide and distract. You didn’t fall for it.”
Piaras drew a deep breath; it shuddered as he exhaled. “In practice I still fall for it, don’t I?”
I nodded reluctantly. “Yeah, you do. And when one of them attacked, you didn’t drop your guard against the second one. You kept your vitals covered and your blade moving.”
“But I’ve been working on that in lessons,” he protested.
“And how is it going?” I knew and so did Piaras. As if what Sarad Nukpana had done to him wasn’t enough, now I was making him admit that he wasn’t a good enough fighter to have survived on his own tonight. But the first step to surviving Nukpana was for Piaras to realize just how much danger he was in. No doubt Sarad Nukpana had wanted him to kill that elven Guardian and all of those embassy guards. And no doubt Taltek Balmorlan and the elven ambassador would have come up with a perfectly good reason why their guards were wearing Guardian uniforms-and an even better reason to charge Piaras with five murders.
Piaras’s jaw clenched. “I fought better tonight than in my lessons, didn’t I?”
“A lot better.”
His gaze became distant. “When I disarmed Sir Jari, I knew you were there,” he told Mychael. “But I just couldn’t let him go. Everything was blurry, like I was there, but not really. Some part of me wanted to kill him.”
Change of plan. I was going to kick Sarad Nukpana in the balls, then I’d strangle him.
“There is a way to confirm that Nukpana was responsible,” Mychael told him. “If you would allow me.”
Piaras stood firm. “Do whatever you have to.”
Mychael went to stand in front of him and put his hand on Piaras’s forehead like he was checking for a fever. Mychael didn’t close his eyes, and neither did Piaras. After a few moments, Mychael’s lips tightened into a thin, tense line. I didn’t have to hear the word to know what he’d just thought. My own vocabulary choice was even more colorful.
Piaras didn’t move. “He’s been in my mind, hasn’t he?”
“He has.”
Piaras didn’t say anything else, but the emotions flowing over his face more than did the talking for him. Fear, helplessness, exhaustion, and rage were all there in spades. Piaras had been on the run with me since this whole crapfest had started. He wanted it to be over with, he wanted the people after him to leave him alone-the kid wanted his life back. All of those would work for me, too.
“But I was the one who killed that embassy guard,” Piaras all but whispered. “Sarad Nukpana didn’t have anything to do with it. I know he didn’t. I’d just conjured the bukas. The guard was trying to kill me to make them go away. Sir Jari and the other two were coming at me. When a buka roared, the guard was distracted. I lunged.” He looked like he was about to be sick. “I killed him.”
“Before he could kill you,” Mychael said. “It was self-defense.
In another second it would have been three on one. You eliminated a threat to survive.”
Piaras ran a hand over his face. “From live threat to dead in the street.”
“You did what you had to do,” I told him. “You did nothing wrong.”
“The three of them rushed me; I had no choice.” He said it, but he didn’t believe it.
My gut twisted. “No, you didn’t have a choice. Just because Balmorlan wants you alive doesn’t mean those elves wouldn’t have killed you and called it an accident.”
I shot a glance at Mychael. I’d known Piaras for years, but I had absolutely zero experience talking a young man through the guilt of his first kill. As Guardian commander, I hoped Mychael did. He’d better.
“Piaras, do you still want to be a Guardian?” Mychael asked solemnly.
“More than anything, sir. But…” He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them, they were glistening with tears he was determined not to shed.
Mychael gave no sign whatsoever that he noticed. I was glad Piaras wasn’t looking at me.
“But what, Piaras?” Mychael asked.
“I don’t think the Guardians still want me.” He said it so softly I barely heard him. “I killed a man tonight; I wanted to kill a Guardian, I put half the Guardians in the citadel to sleep last week, and most everyone on the island probably still thinks I tried to assassinate the archmagus. People are afraid of me, and some of them are Guardians.” Piaras looked like he was about to be sick. “They don’t need to be afraid of me. I don’t want them to be.”
“Piaras, they were afraid of me, too,” Mychael told him.
“Uh, you’re their commander, sir. Aren’t they supposed to be?”
“I said were afraid. Now I have their respect. Changing from one to the other took time. You’ve only been here two weeks.” Mychael paused. “Piaras, look at me.”
Piaras hesitated a moment and then met Mychael’s eyes.
“The Guardians were established to protect the Conclave, defend the Isle of Mid, and administer justice to any mage who would use his or her powers to bring harm to others. The city watchers are qualified to deal with most cases.” Mychael’s smile was grim. “That leaves the nasty ones for us.”
“Like Sarad Nukpana?” Piaras asked.
“Exactly like him. And one thing you can always count on is that every last one of them will fight back with any weapon at their disposal. Sarad Nukpana is inside the Saghred; that limits his options. He is incapable of physical attack, so he attacks the mind. As a Guardian, you would be trained not only to defend yourself against such attacks, but to strike back and defeat your adversary.”
“But why did he want me to kill Sir Jari?”
“Nukpana’s influence-”
I interrupted. “Mychael, I’m the reason he’s attacking Piaras; I should be the one to tell him why.”
Piaras looked at me in surprise. “You’re the reason?”
I snorted. “I’ve been the reason for everything lately.” I told him about the Scythe of Nen, and why Sarad Nukpana wanted me to find it-and then I told him what Nukpana had threatened to do to him if I refused. He needed to know; I wasn’t going to keep him in the dark.
“I can’t run from this.” Piaras didn’t ask it as a question. He knew the answer.
“Not when someone gets in your head,” I told him. “That’d be like trying to run from yourself. And believe me, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to do that. No luck yet.”
Piaras stood very still. “Is he in our heads right now?”
I felt my lips curl in a lopsided grin. “Honey, I’m too damned tired to have anything or anyone in my head right now.”
Piaras almost smiled. “It’s kind of quiet between my ears, too.” The smile vanished. “How will I know if Sarad Nukpana is trying to tell me what to do?”
“I’m going to take you to someone who can help,” Mychael said. “He can’t keep Nukpana out of your head, but he can help you know when your actions are not your own. We can begin teaching you how to defend yourself, but that will take time. Meanwhile, if Nukpana does come after you again, you will be with Guardians whom I trust to keep you out of trouble.”
“Vegard’s been ordered to sit on me,” I told him, trying to lighten things up.
Mychael grinned like a little boy, open and genuine. That one grin from the man he most admired did Piaras more good than anything.
“That’s another thing Guardians get a lot of experience doing,” Mychael told him, “keeping their brothers out of trouble.”
Piaras bit at his bottom lip. “Brothers?” To Piaras, that one word meant a dream come true, something to change the nightmare his life was turning into.
Mychael nodded once. “The Guardians are a brotherhood, Piaras. We take care of our own. You have a rare and powerful gift. Our order would be honored to accept you for training. But the final decision is yours to make.”
I saw a flicker of what may have been belief in his dark eyes. “Thank you, sir.” Belief strengthened into resolve. “I want to be a Guardian, Paladin Eiliesor. Teach me how to fight Sarad Nukpana.”
Mychael’s smile was fierce. “It would be my honor and pleasure, Cadet Rivalin.”
Mychael had his job to do, and I had mine. I knew exactly what I was going to do. There had never been any doubt in my mind. I was a seeker, one of the best. I was going to find that Scythe of Nen, whatever the hell it was, and I was going to find it before the demons got their claws on it. Finding valuables was what a Benares did best.
And double-crossing a goblin shaman who threatened someone I loved was what I did best.