The Whole Truth

CHAPTER 61

THE STEEL BED ROLLED OUT with a clanking sound that Shaw felt down to his toes. The place smelled of chemicals and urine and other things he didn’t want to think about.

Frank stood next to him.

“Look, Shaw, you don’t have to do this. In fact I’m thinking you shouldn’t be doing this. Why remember her like this? In this place?” He waved his hand around the antiseptic space.

“You’re right,” Shaw said. “But I still have to do it.”

Frank sighed and nodded at the attendant.

For an instant, as the man’s fingers clutched the sheet, Shaw wanted to run, run to daylight before it was too late. Instead, he simply stood there as the sheet was lifted up and Shaw stared down at Anna. Or what was left of her.

He tried to avoid staring at the wound in the middle of her forehead, or the V-shaped suture tracks where the medical examiner had cut her open looking for helpful clues as to what had killed her, or at the twin bullet holes that had erupted through her chest. Yet he found that was all he could look at, the absolute destruction of the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He didn’t even have the gentle embrace of her green eyes, since they were closed forever.

He nodded at the attendant again and turned away. The bed rolled back and the door clanged shut and with Frank’s help Shaw left the death room on shaky legs.

“Let’s go get drunk,” Frank said.

Shaw shook his head. “I have to go to Anna’s apartment.”

“What, are you some sort of masochist? First you see her on the slab and now you want to go rip your heart out some more. What’s the point, Shaw? She’s not coming back.”

“I’m not asking you to go. But I have to.”

Frank hailed a cab. “Right, but I’m still going.”

They climbed in the taxi and Shaw gave the driver the address. Then he hung his head out the window trying to fight the waves of nausea that were pounding him.

He shouldn’t have gone to the morgue. Not to see her like that. Not Anna.

Shouldn’t have, but had to.

He opened the door to her apartment a few minutes later, entered, and sat down on the floor while Frank stood nearby, his gaze on him. As Shaw looked around at the familiar sights, he slowly calmed. This was the living, breathing Anna here, not the butchered object he’d just left lying on unforgiving stainless steel. Here, Anna was not dead, not murdered.

He rose, lifted a photo off the mantel; it was of him and Anna in Switzerland last year. She was a fine skier, he was less than that. But the fun they’d had. Another photo of them in Australia. A third shot of them atop an elephant she’d nicknamed Balzac for its love of coffee that it would slurp right from the cup with its trunk.

Everywhere were her belongings, her loves, her passions.

Her.

He sat down again. In a few seconds he endured a million obvious thoughts that run through a bereaved person’s mind at a time like this. The bite of Adolph’s saw blade didn’t even come close to the pain he was feeling now. One bloody wound versus your entire mind, body, and soul being slowly crushed. They had no painkillers that could fight that.

Frank must’ve noticed the change in his expression. “Come on, Shaw, let’s go get that drink now.”

Shaw finally realized he couldn’t stay here either. In some ways the living Anna was more catastrophic to him than the dead one on the metal slab. It brought back so clearly what he’d lost, what they’d both lost together.

He struggled to his feet, but before Frank could reach it the knob turned and the door opened.

The next moment Shaw and Frank were standing eye to eye with Anna’s parents.

Wolfgang’s face flushed. He reached out to grab Shaw, but Shaw stepped back, out of the man’s range.

“No, Wolfgang, no!” screamed his wife.

“This monster, this monster.” Wolfgang was so incensed he was sputtering, choking on the few words, his eyes all the time shooting dangerous volleys at Shaw, who hung back, unsure of what to do.

“Now just hold on,” Frank said. “He’s hurting too.”

“What are you doing here?” demanded Natascha, clutching at her husband’s arm, trying to hold him back.

“Do not talk to him, to that filth,” yelled Wolfgang. “He killed our daughter. He killed Anna.”

Now Shaw took a step forward, his eyes flashing like blue acid. “What the hell are you talking about? I had nothing to do with Anna’s death.”

“Shaw, let me handle this,” Frank said.

Wolfgang pointed a fat finger directly in Shaw’s face. “Anna would not be dead but for you. You killed her.”

Frank yelled, “Wait a minute. That’s bullshit!”

Shaw started to move past him, but Wolfgang suddenly charged forward, grabbed him around the throat, and his heavy bulk caused both men to fall back hard against the wall. Natascha screamed and tried to pull her husband off. “No! No! Wolfgang. No!”

Frank tried to tug Wolfgang off Shaw but the man was too heavy.

Wolfgang’s thick shoulder collided with Shaw’s wounded arm and he grunted in pain. He managed to lever the big German away from him by pushing a knee against his gut. When Wolfgang charged him again, Shaw sidestepped the far slower man, who was breathing so hard and whose face was so red, Shaw thought he might be having a heart attack. Wolfgang struck the wall. Before he could turn around again and attack, Shaw used his hand to pinch a nerve right next to the man’s thick neck. Wolfgang slumped to the floor crying out in pain.

The next instant Natascha’s heavy purse struck Shaw in the face, cutting his cheek. He felt the blood ooze down. Frank ripped the purse from the woman’s hand and threw it across the room. Natascha knelt next to her husband, her arms protectively around him.

His chest heaving, blood running in his mouth, Shaw stared down at them. “Is he all right?”

“You go. You go now!” Natascha screamed at him. “You leave us alone. You have done enough. Enough!”

“I had nothing-” Shaw stopped. What the hell is the use?

Frank was pulling him to the door. “Let’s get out of here before somebody really gets hurt.”

Shaw wiped the blood off, turned and left, shutting the door behind him.

As they walked down the stairs Frank said, “They were not told you were some kind of monster, Shaw. We just-”

Shaw suddenly stopped, sat down on the steps, and let out a sob so loud that it seemed to clang off the walls like the boom of artillery. The remaining blood on his face was washed away by the tears that were coming in droves. For ten minutes he wept uncontrollably, his body thrashing from side to side.

Frank just stood there looking down, his hands clenched in fists, his own eyes moist.

And then Shaw stopped crying as abruptly as he’d started. He stood up, wiped his face dry.

“Shaw?” Frank said, eyeing him warily. “You okay?”

“I’m perfect,” he answered in a mechanical tone. Then he rushed down the steps, leaving Frank to gape after him.

When Shaw hit the street he started jogging. Jogging with a purpose. He was done with mourning. What was the point of trying to cope by letting the normal grieving process take place? He would never get over Anna’s death. So now he had to get back to something that really mattered: revenge. He would not lose sight of that again. And he would never stop until he’d gotten it.

And he knew just where to start.

Katie James.

This time he wouldn’t take no for an answer.