The Widow

Chapter 46

Friday, 11 June 2010

The Widow

DAWN HAS ALWAYS been on the telly. She likes to tell everyone that Bella is alive. That someone took her because they couldn’t have children and wanted a child so badly. Someone who’s looking after her, loving her and giving her a good life. Dawn has got married now – one of the volunteers from her campaign, an older man who always seems to be touching her. She’s got another little girl. Where’s the justice in that? She holds her new baby tight when she’s on the breakfast show, to show what a good mother she is, but she doesn’t fool me.

Before he died, if Glen was in the room, he’d turn the telly off, casually, to pretend he didn’t care, and then go out. But if he wasn’t there, I’d watch. And buy the papers and magazines when they wrote about Bella. I loved seeing the pictures and videos of her. Playing, laughing, opening her Christmas presents, singing in her baby way, words muddled up, pushing her little pram. I’ve got quite a collection now from the magazines and newspapers Dawn has talked to. She has always loved the publicity. Her five minutes of fame.

And now, I am about to have mine.

When Mick finally turns up he’s carrying bags of shopping and a Chinese takeaway. ‘Couldn’t be bothered to cook,’ Kate says with a laugh. ‘Thought we could have a treat instead.’

Mick’s clearly staying, too and I try to remember where I put the sheets and duvet for the sofa bed.

‘Don’t mind me, Jean,’ he says with his teenager grin. ‘I can sleep on the floor. I’m not fussy.’

I shrug. I’m too fed up with the whole thing to care any more. Once, I would’ve run round making up beds, putting clean towels out, changing the soap for a new bar. But now I can’t be bothered. I sit with a plate of noodles and shiny red chicken on my knee and wonder if I have the energy to lift my fork.

Kate and Mick sit on the sofa facing me. They are eating the noodles without any enthusiasm. ‘This is horrible,’ Mick says eventually and gives up.

‘You chose it,’ Kate says and looks at my full plate. ‘Sorry, Jean. Shall I get you something else?’

I shake my head. ‘Just a cup of tea,’ I say. Mick asks if I’ve got any tins in the cupboard and goes off to make beans on toast for himself. I get up to go to bed, but Kate turns on the news and I sit back down. They are saying something about soldiers and Iraq and I lean back in my seat.

The next item is me. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. My face in one of the pictures Mick took. ‘Mick, quick, your stuff’s on the television,’ Kate shouts through to the kitchen and he races in and drops heavily on to the sofa.

‘Fame at last,’ he says with a grin as the presenter rattles on about the exclusive interview I’ve given to the Daily Post and my ‘revelation’ that Glen was responsible for taking Bella. I start to say something but the programme cuts to Dawn, who’s been crying, all swollen eyes, and she’s asked what she thinks about the interview. ‘She’s an evil monster,’ she says and it takes me a minute to realize she means me. Me. ‘She must’ve known all along,’ she wails. ‘She must’ve known what her husband did to my poor baby.’

I stand up and turn on Kate. ‘What have you written?’ I demand. ‘What have you said to make me the evil monster? I trusted you, I told you everything.’

She has difficulty looking me in the eye, but Kate tells me Dawn has ‘got it all wrong’.

‘That isn’t what the story says,’ she insists. ‘It says you’re another of Glen’s victims, that you only realized much later that he could’ve taken her.’

Mick is nodding dumbly, backing her up, but I don’t believe them. I’m so angry I go out of the room. I can’t bear their betrayal. Then I go back in. ‘Leave now,’ I say. ‘Get out or I’ll call the police and have you removed.’

There’s silence while Kate wonders if she can talk me round again. ‘But the money, Jean…’ she starts to say as I usher her and Mick into the hall, and I cut her off. ‘Keep it,’ I say and open the front door. Mr Telly’s still standing at the end of the path with his crew.

As she reaches the gate, he says something to her, but she’s already on the phone to Terry, explaining how it’s all gone ‘pear-shaped’. I beckon the film crew in. I’ve something I want to say.