Three Broken Promises

Chapter 11

Jen

What Colin is offering me is exactly what he offers every other woman who’s flitted in and out of his life. A temporary affair, something meaningless and conveniently disposable, since that’s all he can handle.

I’m the one who offered first. I have no one to blame but myself. So for once, I’ll take what I can get and screw the consequences. I want him, any way I can get him. The constant fight, the push-pull between us, has grown old.

My new mantra floats through my mind again and again.

Be free. Let go.

Bracing my hands on his hips, I lift up on tiptoe and brush my mouth against his. The kiss is soft, as chaste as can be, and he holds himself completely still. Almost as if he fears I’ll pull away from him if he makes a sudden move.

But that’s exactly what I want him to do. Make a move. Show that he wants me, anything to get this started between us. It’s been building for so long I’m not quite sure how to approach it.

I sometimes wonder if he pushes me away because I was a stripper. And that’s not even the worst of it. So I must work my hardest to keep my secret to myself. Even Fable doesn’t know the worst of it. No one ever will if I have my choice.

I push all negative thoughts of my recent past aside and kiss him again, my lips moving over his in gentle exploration. They’re soft, full, and damp, and he tastes like absolute heaven. He grabs hold of my waist when I wobble toward him, our chests brushing, and I hear his quick intake of breath. That tiny sound, the way his body tightens completely beneath my grip, fills me with a rush of power that’s positively heady.

He reacts to me. He wants me. Maybe just as bad as I want him.

Without saying a word he grabs hold of my waist, and I gasp when he picks me up and deposits me on the countertop. I’m above him now, though not by much considering he’s so tall. I stare into his eyes, winding my arms around his neck, my fingers sliding into his silky, soft hair. Those gorgeous blue eyes look back at me and I lean down, kissing him again. Groaning when his tongue swipes along my bottom lip, then nips at it with the edge of his teeth. A jolt moves through me at the deliciously sensual contact and I’m instantly hungry for more.

So much more. More than he’ll ever be able to give me. But I can deal with that.

“Open up, Jenny,” he whispers against my mouth, his voice husky and full of promise. No one calls me Jenny anymore. I put a stop to it when I was in the eighth grade, but hearing him say it sends a thrill running down my spine. “Let me in.”

I part my lips at his command and he slides his tongue against mine, the kiss turning instantly hot. Deep. I cling to him as he steps closer to the counter, my knees bracketing his hips, his arms circling around my middle. He splays his big hands across my back, holding me firm as his mouth consumes mine.

This is exactly how I imagined it would be between us. Hot. All-consuming. Overwhelming. I hear muffled whimpers and realize I’m the one who’s making them. An ache has started between my legs while he skims his hands all over me, his mouth fused with mine. I want more. More touching, more kissing, more skin-on-skin contact. We’re trying to get close, closer and closer, and I slide my hand down the wide expanse of his back, slipping my fingers beneath his shirt so I can touch bare, smooth skin.

He tears his mouth away to break the kiss, panting against my cheek as if he needs the break. I know I do. My emotions, my everything, are a jumble in my head, though I wouldn’t have it any other way. “Tell me to stop right now,” he says, his voice harsh. He’s out of breath, looking so completely worked up I can’t help but be pleased knowing I’m the one who did that to him. “And I’ll walk away.”

If he walks away I’ll kill him . . .

God, look at me. The man toys with my emotions so bad he’s pushing me to violence. “I don’t want you to stop,” I say, shaking my head.

His hands shift so they’re in front of me, his fingers toying with the tiny pearl buttons of my shirt. “I’ve waited for this moment for what feels like forever.”

I swallow hard, overcome by his admission. God, so have I, I want to say, though it’s much harder for me to confess. That we wanted this all along, together, is enough to make me want to ask him why we wasted so much time when we could have been together.

But I don’t. Because I know that’s not what he really wants. To be with me on a permanent basis, in a real relationship. That’s just too much for him to bear.

“Please don’t stop,” I whisper because I’m still afraid he might. And I can’t have that. Not again.

“Good. Because once I have you naked, kissing you everywhere . . .” He pauses, his mouth pressed to my ear. “I won’t be able to stop.”

“I-I’m okay with that.” He’s reduced me to stuttering. My brain, my entire body, is on overload at having him so close. His hands on me, his fingers slowly undoing each button that runs down the center of my shirt. He’s undressing me, his fingers brushing against my stomach, my bra, the tops of my breasts, until the shirt is completely unbuttoned and hanging open.

Pulling away slightly, he pushes the shirt from my shoulders so that it falls down my arms and puddles behind me on the counter. He studies me unabashedly, his eyes lit with dark, needy lust. “You’re so damn beautiful,” he says, his voice gruff.

His words make my cheeks flush with embarrassment but still I sit up straight, my breasts thrusting out with the movement. The bra I’m wearing is made of white satin and trimmed with lace. I’m not very well endowed and it dawns on me that the bra also has some major padding, making me appear bigger than I really am. Guys kinda hate that. I had the misfortune to discover that a few years ago with a real jerk I’d been dating who’d been sorely disappointed when he took off my bra. So I try to avoid wearing this sort of bra when I’m on a date.

Damn it, I wish I’d worn something else.

“Pretty.” He traces his index finger across the tops of my breasts, close to the delicate lace, and I clench my thighs together but it’s no use. I feel his touch as if he’s slowly stroking me between my legs, setting my entire body on fire. “We should take this off, though. I bet you’re even prettier without it on.”

I wait breathlessly as his fingers go to the center of my bra, undoing the front clasp with ease. The cups spring apart slightly, exposing me, and I press my lips together, overcome with worry that he’ll be disappointed. Or worse, call me out as a fake.

The women I’ve seen him flirt with are nothing like me. They’re curvy and blond, with huge breasts and tiny waists, whereas I’m tall and thin, with slight curves and small boobs. The total opposite of every girl I’ve ever seen him show a glimmer of interest in, I can’t help but wonder why he’s attracted to me.

But then he touches me and I forget all about my worry, my insecurities. All I can do is feel.

Colin slides his big, warm hands beneath the cups of my bra and pushes them aside, his palms brushing against my hard nipples. I hiss in a breath at the delicious contact, closing my eyes as I feel his weighted stare directed at my chest. His fingers tug my bra straps down my arms and I hold them out, feeling the bra fall away from me. I’m bared completely to him.

“Christ, you undo me.” Without warning he leans in, pressing his mouth to my breasts, his lips drifting across my nipples as they race across my skin. “You taste so good,” he whispers, just before he circles his tongue around first one nipple, then the other. I open my eyes to see his hands are as busy as his tongue. One of them skims over my knee, up my thigh, moving beneath my skirt. His fingertips brush the front of my damp panties and I suck in a harsh breath, spreading my legs as best I can to accommodate him, but the skirt’s hindering my movement.

“Here.” He pushes my skirt up my thighs and I lift up to help, until the fabric is bunched around my waist and I’m completely exposed. Colin rests his hands on the inside of my thighs, spreading me wider, his gaze zeroed in on my pale pink cotton panties. I lean back, my hands braced on the cold granite counter, and it chills my heated skin.

His smoldering stare makes me feel beautiful, desirable. Just the way he looks at me leaves me almost embarrassingly wet. I squirm when he strokes a single finger down the center of my panties, holding my breath when he pushes firmly against my most sensitive spot.

I press my lips together to stifle the moan that wants to spill and suddenly he’s right there, his face in mine. “I don’t want you to hold back,” he says, his voice firm. “I’ve waited this long; I’m dying to see you fall apart.”

He never looks away from me as he slips his fingers beneath the front of my panties, touching bare, hot, wet skin. I sink my teeth into my lower lip as I groan low in my throat, closing my eyes so I can lose myself to the sensation of his sure fingers touching me in all the right places. As if he knows exactly where I want him, how much pressure he should exert, how gentle he should be. He’s perfectly attuned to my body and I can already feel the wave hovering on the edge, just ready to wash over me and sweep me away.

“Open your eyes,” his deep voice commands. “Look at me.”

My eyes flash open, my chest heaving as I meet his gaze. Without looking away from me he tugs my panties from my hips, pulling them down my legs until they become tangled around my ankles. I kick them off, realizing that he’s completely clothed while I’m naked save for the skirt still bunched around my waist.

I feel vulnerable yet sexy, especially when his appreciative gaze rakes over me from head to toe.

“I want you to know who’s about to make you come,” he murmurs, his eyes hooded, his arms coming around my waist so he can grip my butt and haul me to the edge of the counter. Kneeling before me, he turns his head and presses his mouth to the inside of my thigh, and I moan at the hot path his lips blaze over my skin.

I can’t believe he just said that to me, as if I wouldn’t know it’s him. Colin. More than that, I can’t believe he’s down on his knees in front of me, about to place his lips between my legs and most likely drive me out of my mind in a matter of seconds.

“You’re so hot. And wet.” His mouth settles over the very center of me, his tongue darting out for a quick lick. I jolt so hard I almost fall off the counter.

But he’s got me. Those large hands are wrapped around my hips, holding me in place as he continues to lick me, his tongue teasing, searching, his lips sucking. My belly tingles, my entire body is quivering, and I throw my head back, lifting my hips so I can get closer to that decadent, devious mouth as he works his magic on me.

“Look at me, Jenny.” He says it again, adding my name to get my attention, and I snap my head back up, staring down at him to find him watching me carefully. “You’re close, aren’t you?”

Nodding frantically, another whimper escapes me. I’m teetering right on the edge, ready to plunge into the depths of what is looking to be a monster orgasm. And he knows it.

“Tell me what you want. Tell me what to do to take you there.” His voice is dark, his gaze heated, as he tries to prompt me into talking.

I’m not one for dirty talk. Truly, I’m not one for talking during sex period, but this is Colin. And he’s always been rather persistent.

“Um . . .” I moan when he sucks my clit hard between his lips, slipping a long finger inside me, slowly sliding inside my welcoming body, in and out, building the tension that’s coiled within me with a few thrusts of his finger. “Oh God, yeah, that. Do that. All of it,” I choke out, barely able to form words.

I feel him smile against my sensitive flesh and a shiver runs down my spine. He starts to stroke deep within me, adding another finger, increasing his pace as he continues to suck and lick between my legs, his eyes never leaving me. Ever.

It’s the most intensely intimate moment of my life. Our gazes locked, his mouth on me, his tongue, his fingers inside my body. I feel connected to him, more than I’ve ever felt to another person before, and I close my eyes, overcome with sensation. Emotion.

Too much emotion.

And just like that, the biggest, most intense orgasm takes over me completely. I’m trembling, gasping his name, scared I’m going to slide right off the sleek granite, and his hands grip my ass so tight I think I might have bruises.

I don’t care. I want him to mark me; it makes me feel like I belong to him. And I want to belong to him, despite my acting like I’m perfectly fine with a temporary affair.

The shudders still consume me, making my limbs shake, my heart race. My orgasm leaves me dizzy, breathless. I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard in my life.

Colin

That was a fucking beautiful sight, watching Jen fall apart like that. Talk about unromantic, throwing her up on my counter, stripping her almost completely naked, and going down on her in the middle of my kitchen.

Damn, it was worth every minute, though.

I gentle my lips against her wet, quivering flesh, giving her one last slow lick before I stand back up. She’s a sweaty, shaky, out-of-breath mess, her once sleek ponytail now a complete wreck with hair everywhere. Her lips are swollen from my kisses and her chest and cheeks are flushed.

She’s gorgeous. And now I’m going to take her to my giant bed, strip naked, and fuck her into the mattress for the rest of the night.

My every dream come true.

“You okay?” I ask just before I kiss her, long and deep.

Jen doesn’t even flinch, though I know she tasted herself on my lips. I break the kiss first, entranced by her swollen, delicious mouth. “That was . . . intense,” she murmurs.

“It was. Beautifully intense. And you’re amazing.” I kiss her again, because I can’t not kiss her. She’s so damn pretty and sexy as fuck sprawled across my counter. Her body is gorgeous, all long limbs and slender curves. I can only imagine those endless legs wrapped around me while I fuck her senseless.

My dick gets harder just thinking it.

Reaching for her, I pick her up, and she automatically wraps those long legs around me, anchoring herself. I grip her butt, my fingers sinking into her flesh as I haul her toward the hallway that leads to my bedroom.

“Where are you taking me?” she asks, her lips right at my ear, as if she doesn’t know. Her arms are wound around my neck, her fingers buried in my hair at the back of my head. She starts kissing and licking the spot just behind my ear, as though she knows how much that drives me wild.

“To my room,” I say gruffly. “So I can fuck you properly in my bed.”

Her lips go still on my neck and she shifts so she can look at me. “You have such a dirty mouth.”

“I think you like that dirty mouth, especially when it’s on your—” Jen places her fingers on my lips to stop me from saying it and I can’t help but laugh.

“No guy has ever talked to me like that,” she admits, her voice soft as she drops her fingers away from my mouth.

Jealousy grips at my chest and I try my best to ignore it. “Ever?”

She slowly shakes her head. “Never.”

“Glad I’m the first, then.” I increase my pace, striding into my bedroom and depositing her on the bed so she lands with a little bounce. I watch in fascination as she reaches behind her and unzips her skirt, then shimmies out of it, tossing the wrinkled fabric onto the floor so that she’s finally gloriously naked.

So beautiful and all mine, at least for tonight. For the next few weeks, if we hold true to the promise we’ve just made. I want to hold to it. But will she? Orgasms between friends rarely work out in the long run.

If I weren’t so ready to get naked with her, I might find that thought amusing.

“Do you always talk like that?” she asks.

“Talk like what?” I shrug out of my shirt, then start undoing my jeans.

“Say such dirty things while having sex.” Her eyes practically bug out of her head when I shuck my jeans and underwear in one tug, my cock on blatant display just for her. “Uh . . .”

Smiling, I stride toward the bed and join her, lying on my side nestled close to her warm, fragrant body. I rest my hand on her stomach and stroke upward, slowly sweeping over the valley between her breasts. I like that I’ve rendered her at a loss for words. “What I just said to you was positively mild,” I drawl, laying it on extra thick.

She turns her head toward me, her sweet-smelling hair getting in my face. “You’re not what I expected.”

I brush the silky strands away from my eyes. “And what did you expect?” Leaning over her, I drop little kisses along her collarbone, her breasts, those pretty little hard nipples. She’s not what I would consider amply endowed and typically I’m drawn to women with large breasts.

I love everything about Jen’s body, though. Wouldn’t change a damn thing.

“I don’t know,” she whispers as she places her hand on the back of my head. The subtle pressure she exerts shows she likes what I’m doing, so I draw her nipple into my mouth deeper, savoring the taste of her skin. “That feels so good.”

Soon we’re both touching and kissing and licking each other’s bodies, our legs entwined, Jen’s fingers curled around my cock. I’m desperate to sink deep inside her warm, welcoming body, to pound my way to orgasm while getting lost inside her, but I’m taking it slow. Easing up to this because she deserves nothing less than the very best that I can give her.

I can only hope I don’t disappoint her.

“I want you inside me,” she whispers when we’re long minutes into this agonizing torture. She crawls over me, her face in mine, her fingers still gripping my erection.

Smoothing my hands down her back, I caress the soft, plump flesh of her ass. “Grab a condom out of the drawer.”

She glances toward the bedside table and reaches out, pulling open the drawer and withdrawing a condom wrapper. Moving away, she opens the condom, kneeling in front of me as she holds the tiny rubber ring poised in front of my cock. “Can I put it on?”

“Hell yeah,” I mutter, entranced by the look on her face, the glow in her eyes. She leans over my erection, her hair shielding her face since I removed the band and set her ponytail free only minutes earlier. Her fingers dance along my length, tracing the tip before she settles the condom over the head. She slowly rolls the condom on, stroking me as she does, and my eyes threaten to roll back in my head, it feels so damn good.

We’re teasing, tormenting each other like we’ve done for so many years. Instead this time, we’re naked, wrapped around each other and trying to drive the other crazy with wanting. Until I can’t take it any longer and I roll her over so she’s beneath me, her long legs spread, my hips nestled in between her thighs, my cock thrusting toward the very center of her.

Sweat beads my brow as I study Jen, my hands braced on either side of her head. Her dark hair is spread across the pillow, her velvety brown eyes slumberous, that plush, sexy mouth swollen from my punishing kisses. She runs her hand down the center of my chest, my stomach, her fingers teasing my navel, then drifting farther south to trace the trail of hair that leads to my aching erection.

“You say I’m beautiful, but you’re the beautiful one,” she whispers, her gaze locked on my chest, seemingly entranced. “I could touch you like this all night.”

“And drive me out of my ever-lovin’ mind,” I mutter, earning a big smile for my comment.

“Oh, we can’t have that.” She slips her hand around my hip, pulling me in, and then I’m sliding inside of her body, my cock enveloped by her hot, wet depths. I slowly sink deep, deeper, until I’m fully embedded inside her. Our bodies are perfectly aligned, chests pressed together, hips nestled close.

I close my eyes. Clench my jaw. It’s taking everything within me not to let loose and come like a geyser at this very moment, like some sort of inexperienced teen who can’t keep it together. She wraps those long-as-hell legs around me, sending me deeper, and I groan, the familiar tingling already starting at the base of my spine.

No. I refuse to come now. I gotta make this first time good for her. For us.

Watching our connected bodies, I slide out of her almost completely before I push back inside. Again and again I enter her, keeping my pace slow, intoxicated by the sight of my cock disappearing inside her body again and again. Her hips arch as she tilts her head and bows her back. She closes her eyes as she moves with me, her hips circling, tiny little whimpers sounding in the back of her throat.

I could thrust in her hard once, maybe twice, and I’d blow, no problem. But she seems to still be working for it. No way am I going to let go before ensuring that she’s come again. “Touch yourself,” I whisper.

She stills, her eyes flying open, dark and fathomless as she frowns. “What?”

“Touch yourself, Jenny. Make yourself come with me inside you,” I encourage, wanting to see her do it. My skin gets hot and tight just thinking about her fingering her clit, making herself come all over my cock.

Sinking her teeth into her plump lower lip, she reaches between us, her index finger brushing against her clit, the tip nudging against my cock. I groan and start to pump harder, noticing that she keeps the same pace as she glides her finger over her clit. Until we’re both straining toward it, reaching for it . . .

An agonized groan falls from my lips in the sound of her name as I thrust once, hard as hell, sending me so deep I’m afraid I’ll rip her apart. But she clings to me, her entire body shaking, my name being whispered again and again, so I let go. Let loose.

Let my orgasm take over me completely.

Now we’re clinging to each other, only the sound of our loud breathing filling the room. My skin is covered in sweat, as is hers, and I start to move away from her but she tightens her arms around me, her fingers digging into my back as if she doesn’t want to ever let me go.

“Stay for a minute,” she murmurs against my chest, her lips tickling my skin, making me shiver.

“I’m crushing you,” I start, but she cuts me off.

“I like it. You feel good, crushing me,” she admits, her voice soft and sleepy-sounding.

Fuck. I don’t know what to say. What to do. In the aftermath I’m usually the one who’s hopping out of bed, getting rid of the condom, and hustling my ass out of there. I never bring women home. I made the mistake of that once long, long ago when I was successfully running my first restaurant in Southern California. The woman took one look at my decent apartment near the beach and decided she was ready to set up and play house permanently.

Had to nip that in the bud real quick. That one terrifying moment made me swear off ever bringing a woman back to my place. And now I have one living with me. One who wants to leave while I’m desperate for her to stay.

Everything’s different with Jen. We have a history. An intricate past that I don’t want to ruin with a relationship destined to end. She’s leaving and I won’t stop her. It doesn’t matter if the sex between us is phenomenal. She wants out.

So I’m letting her go.

Finally, she releases her hold on me and I head into the bathroom, tossing the condom in the trash, glancing at myself in the mirror. I don’t look any different, though I definitely feel it. I see the same ol’ pretty face looking back at me that I sort of hate if I’m being truthful. This face gets me into trouble. It’s easier to get what you want when you have a pretty face, right? And I don’t need any help with getting into trouble. I can do that on my own, thank you very much.

I’m curious, though. What does Jen see when she looks at me? Someone she cares about? Someone she can easily forget? Both options scare me.

So I don’t know. I’m not sure I want to know what she sees. How she feels.

Turning off the bathroom light, I walk back into my bedroom and slip into bed, pulling the covers up over us. She scoots closer to me without a word, her back to my front, and I wrap my arm around her middle, holding her close. She feels damn good. Snug and warm, and fitting perfectly against me. I never want to let her go.

Pulling away from her slightly, I smooth the hair away from her neck, my gaze locked on the tattoo. The blinds are cracked open and the dull glow from the streetlight outside filters into the room, helping me see the delicate, colorful lines of the butterfly.

I trace it, sweeping my finger across her skin, feeling her shiver beneath my touch. Leaning in, I kiss her there, my lips lingering, and she moans softly.

“There’s meaning behind this, isn’t there.” I dart my tongue out for a lick, absorbing her salty-sweet taste. I can’t get enough of her.

“I like butterflies.” She sighs when I squeeze her closer to me. “And yes. There’s meaning.”

“What is it?”

“It represents my wanting to break free of my past.” Her voice hitches and I frown, pressing my chin into her shoulder. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of, Colin.”

“I know. I wish you could let them go. No one’s judging you.” I hate what she’s done but I can’t hold her actions against her. She’d been in a tough situation. Confused and alone and damn it, that was partially my fault.

“May—maybe someday I could learn to let them go.” She pauses. “Not yet, but I’m close.”

Damn. My life has been completely changed by this one beautiful, amazing woman that I’ve known since we were kids.

And I’m not sure what to do about it.