Ties That Bind

Chapter Fifty-Seven.

Tim Kerrigan slipped his arm around Cindy's shoulders and watched Megan scamper along the beach in search of seashells. Hugh Curtin had a friend--an ex-Cardinal linebacker--who owned a condo on Maui. They'd been seaside for a week and had one week left before Tim had to return to Portland for the hearings in The Vaughn Street Glee Club case, in which he was the star witness for the government. The only thing that kept the scene from being perfect were the armed guards who accompanied the Kerrigan family everywhere they went.

Tim was on leave from the district attorney's office. There was no way that his sexual escapade with Ally Bennett could be kept secret. He would have to testify about it in open court. Tim was certain that Harvey Grant would make sure that everyone learned of his other meetings with prostitutes. Jack wouldn't be able to keep him on. He wasn't sure he wanted to stay, anyway.

Huge had been right. He had been hiding in the DA's office. Where he would go from there was another question. With his sordid past, politics was no longer an option. Burton Rommel had made that clear during a hastily called meeting a few days after the case had exploded. He wouldn't be able to do anything much for a while, anyway. Testifying for, and debriefings by, the state and federal prosecutors would keep him busy. He was actually grateful for the time off. It was helping him heal the wounds he'd inflicted on his family.

Tim had always longed for his father's approval and never received it. William had made him feel small his whole life. Now he knew that his father was a fraud, and he had finally accepted that his worth was not tied to his father's approval.

Tim's confession to Cindy had been the most difficult thing he'd ever done. He could see the disbelief and pain etched on her face as she sat in shocked silence during his recitation of his deceits. Then he'd told her about the turning point--the day he'd spent with her and Megan at the zoo.

"I had convinced myself that I could kill Ally and get away with it, but I knew it would be like committing suicide. Deserting Melissa Stebbins had almost killed me. Murdering Ally Bennett would have finished me off.

"But that's not what stopped me. It was Megan." He had choked up and had to wait before going on. "I'd betrayed you in every way possible but I was still a hero to her. When I met with Hunter I felt like I was making my ninety-yard run again, but this time on my own, with no blockers. I knew that every sin I'd committed would become public knowledge but I hoped, when she was old enough to understand, that she would think of me as . . ." He'd paused again. "Not a hero. I'll never be that. But as someone who tried to do what was right."

He and Cindy had slept apart that night, and Tim was convinced that his marriage was over. Cindy was civil but distant for the next few days. He didn't see much of her anyway, because he was at FBI headquarters, the Multnomah County district attorney's office, and the U.S. attorney's office, night and day. One evening, he'd come home late and walked past the open door to their bedroom toward the guest room where he'd been sleeping. Cindy was still awake and she'd told him to come to bed. Neither of them said much while they made love, but Tim knew that she'd taken him back and was going to give him a chance to start over.

Up ahead, Megan had found a piece of driftwood and was calling to him to come see. Cindy smiled at him and squeezed his hand. If that warm pressure was all he got back for his ordeal, Tim decided that it was more than enough.