'Til Death Do Us Part

PROLOGUE ONE

The blackness was complete within and without the tattered walls which should have housed my soul; I could not see my hand in front of my face. I could not even tell if I was corporeal.

“Michael,” an omnipresent voice rang out.

“God?” I answered.

“Some have called me that, others, have used Zeus, Allah, Jehovah, and Buddha.”

“Am I dreaming this?”

“I am an eternal being that watches over the affairs of man.”

“So God then basically.”

“My name, if I had one, matters little. You may use Yoda if that makes you feel more comfortable.”

“Oh come on, you’re telling me I’m talking to the One God and you’re giving me a Star Wars reference?”

“I did not like Jar Jar Binks.”

“Nobody did,” I shot back. “You seem mighty affable for an omnipotent being that could smite me down. Or is it smote?”

An older man of indeterminable age appeared before me at some point. In the last flash of a second, the blackness had been stripped away and replaced by a source of light equivalent to a noonday sun; yet I could see no hint of its origin.

“I didn’t really see You like that,” I said thoughtfully. “Maybe I did…this is rather confusing.”

“Would you rather I appear as this?” The man surged to over forty feet tall; fiery eyes peered down at me and a long flowing beard almost touched the tips of his sandal-clad toes. His voice booming, “I appear as the person that stands before Me expects Me to be.”

“No, no the old man thing is way better!” I yelled up. “So if I was a feminist?”

He sighed deeply but was back to the form of the kindly stranger before I finished my words.

“It has come to My attention that Poena has deemed you as her plaything.”

“Just now you figured that out? I thought you knew everything, and I figured he was a she…almost had to be. She’s been messing with my life for decades. Maybe if you had skipped a movie or two I wouldn’t be in this predicament.”

“I think I know exactly why you are in this situation,” he said pointing to my mouth.

“Yeah probably right about that,” I said sheepishly.

“I will release you from the binding she has placed on you.”

“Why now Yoda?” I asked, testing the boundaries—typical stupid-ass Michael Talbot.

He looked at me with a glint of humor in his eyes; like a proud father that wanted nothing more than to scoop his wayward child up and laugh but was required to set an example. Who the hell did he have to answer to?

“Contrary to a lot of fatalistic individuals, I care very, very deeply about the world of man. But there are strict rules laid down by nature herself that do not allow me direct intervention.”

“You’re God, what can possibly stand in Your way?”

“More than you will ever know.”

***

What seemed like an eternity passed as I pondered His words. Maybe it had. Maybe mountains formed, oceans dried, the planet died and was reborn. All I knew was I loved my family and friends and I desperately wanted to be with them. I gulped hard, not sure if I was ready for the answer to my next question or not.

“Am I alive?”

“Do you want to be?”

“God, I had a philosophy professor once tell me the meaning of life.”

God arched an eyebrow and asked, “What was her definition?”

“Life is a bowl of snow.”

“Did that make any sense to you, Michael?”

“About as much as Your question.”

“Fair enough. You must answer the first question, but I can answer the latter.” It was my turn to arch an eyebrow. “The meaning of life? Well that’s simple, it is merely LIFE. To live, to breathe, to laugh, to love, to procreate, to exist. It is nothing more and nothing less.”

“What about the zombies?”

“They are an abomination created by man. They are not life, they are the antithesis. They destroy everything in their path without the ability or want to create.”

“I would very much like to be alive,” I begged.

“Then it shall be so.”

“It has been an unbelievable honor to talk with You, but I have to ask one more question.”

God waited patiently, as He watched me struggle to ask a question that I hoped would not offend Him.

“Am I dreaming this?”

He laughed…heartily, I might add. “Oh, Michael, you are a fun one to watch. Now get off the street and hide. Eliza is coming and she plans on laying waste to the entire city.”

“Will I see You again?”

“Get your soul back and we will talk some more.”

He placed the heel of his hand against my forehead. I felt as if I were being shot from a cannon. The rush of matter as it streamed by at light speed was disorientating; it wasn’t until I picked my head up off of the pavement that I knew where I was.

“I’M BACK!” I screamed triumphantly, then I remembered God’s—or my vivid dream’s—last words and I tried to get up and make a run for it.